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Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Interviewing tips from a sociopath

I had an interview today for something I want. Sociopath skills are never so useful as they are during an interview, but I imagine uber-empaths can be very good at them as well.

Interviews are interesting in general because the interviewee is clearly looking for the "right" answer. When they keep looking at you expectantly, you keep talking. If it is a double interview you keep talking until the two interviewers make that knowing eye contact with each other. Sometimes you'll get a real amateur who is checking things off his list. Most of the time, though, you have to do what sociopaths do best -- tell people what they want to hear.

Do they know I am pandering to them? Do they know that I am essentially recreating that scene from Being John Malkovich where you just say anything and everything until you get some sort of response:

CRAIG
How about this, if I can guess your
first name within three tries, you
have to come out for a drink with me
tonight.

MAXINE
Why not?

CRAIG
Great.
(watches her face as he guesses)
Buuuhhppaahhhhnnn. . . . .
Muhhhahhhhh. . . . . ahhhnnnaaa. .
nollltuuukkkaaaaralllll. . .
tashabararassssssuuuuusaaaaaaa. . .
nnnnnnnaaaaaannnnnnnnncccccceeeeeee
Mwaaaaaa. . . . .Mahhhhhkkkkk. . .
sssseeeeeen. Maxine?

MAXINE
Who told you?

CRAIG
I'm right?

MAXINE
Who told you?

CRAIG
That's incredible! Nobody told me!
I swear! It's kismet. Maxine!
It's a beautiful name. There's a
psychic connection. Don't you see?
It was meant to be! Maxine! Maxine!
Maxine! I will shout it from the
rooftops!

MAXINE
Somebody told you.

CRAIG
Oh, Maxine, nobody told me. Maxine,
Maxine. It just came out of me like
a song, Maxine. A beautiful crazy,
song, Maxine. Maxine. Maxine!

7 comments:

  1. My unempathical Brother. Since you brought the topic of interviews I have some information you may or may not be interested in. Nowadays interviewers are many times trained to look for people who are deceiving them. Congratulations if you successfully got the job, however you mentioned about talking a lot until someone agrees. People who are deceiving have a tendency to add too much to their sentences and such things are watched for by many. When you're asked about something you should have a strong emotion behind use the pronoun "I." People who are stating genuine feelings, will in most cases, emphasize himself/herself in such a fasion. I.E. : "I like this!" or "I disagree!" I have a vast repertoire regarding manipulative speech but I cannot give you all my secrets my dear friend. ;)

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  2. I get most jobs I'm up for. I think it's the mirroring and the fact that I'll pretend I already have the job. I start working on the interview. I make myself indispensable the minute I walk through the door without seeming desperate. I'm perfect. And what table manners!

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  3. You people are disgusting and sick lol hope you end up in an institution. Sickos

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  4. Sociopaths are not all sicko's, that's a very ignorant comment to make, also is somewhat 'trolling'.

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  5. I love a man in a suit but Drake looks like he’s wearing makeup Lethbridge showcase of woman

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  6. I just realized My ex boyfriend( he really does live next door) How do you get away when the psychopath is that close. I'm a sitting duck. For almost 3 years I've been trying. Thank God I got.out of his house. It took me getting away for several days to see something was wrong. My elderly parents live next door. He set it all up I now know.I've been soul searching for the last several years and I guess I started figuring it out by searching how I was feeling. It has been a daily living hell! He's a registered sex offender. He's pretty Scarry. What in the world do I do now? I am at the end of my rope! No one will ever believe.me he's got all the neighbors fooled into thinking he's Mr.Wonderful! Even my elderly mother has told me to "Quit it with him"!! How do I escape? He stalks me, comes and pounds on my bedroom window if I won't answer my phone. Is there a law against psychopathic sex offenders destroying innocent women.?

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