I've been reading Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman and thinking about how and why I became a high functioning sociopath. Psychologists and scientists believe sociopthy is some combination of genes and environment, which makes sense, particularly in light of recent research suggesting that not only do genes matter, but that the body's varying expression of the genes appears in response to environmental or other factors. As Dr. Goleman says:
Dr. Goleman says that although the brain doesn't reach maturity until 20, the biggest growth spurt is in the first 24 months of life. He also cites a study regarding the importance of the very beginning of a mammal's existence in brain programming:
If a gene never expresses the proteins that could direct the body's functioning in a given way, then we may as well not possess that gene at all.If there were some triggering event or environmental force that triggered my sociopathy, I think it was just as likely something that happened to me as a baby than something within my conscious memory. For instance, when I was an infant I had a particularly bad case of colic, a poorly understood condition affecting infants whose main symptom is "frequent, inconsolable crying." According to my parents, I cried incessantly, and according to my medical records I had to go to the doctor for a ruptured navel due to excessive crying. I'm sure my parents did as well as they could, but it no doubt must have been difficult to tolerate such a child, much less nurture it.
Dr. Goleman says that although the brain doesn't reach maturity until 20, the biggest growth spurt is in the first 24 months of life. He also cites a study regarding the importance of the very beginning of a mammal's existence in brain programming:
[A]t least for mice, a vital way that parenting can change the very chemistry of a youngster's genes. [A] singular window in development [is] the first twelve hours after a rodent's birth--during which a crucial methyl process occurs. How much a mother rat licks and grooms her pups during this window actually determines how brain chemicals that respond to stress will be made in that pup's brain for the rest of its life.The book is not all that helpful for sociopaths, and has a low opinion of us generally, so I wouldn't recommend taking the time to read it. But maybe I'll post some other sociopath-specific information I find.
The more nurturing the mother, the more quick-witted, confident, and fearless the pup will become; the less nurturing she is, the slower to learn and more overwhelmed by threats the pup will be.
The human equivalents of licking and grooming seem to be empathy, attunement, and touch. If [this research] translates to humans . . . then how our parents treated us has left its genetic imprint over and above the set of DNA they passed down to us. And how we treat our children will, in turn, set levels of activity in their genes. (pp. 152-54)
The reason infants cry or scream for seemingly no reason is b/c during the first 6 months (but especially the first 3 months) they wish to return to the womb. They miss 'home'.
ReplyDeleteWhen a baby is fed and not suffering hunger pangs, uncomfortable in a wet diaper or subjected to an uncomfortable environment yet they are still crying all you need to do is 'recreate the womb-state'. Perception is reality.
Child specialty stores sell stuffed animals with a built in 'music box' that mimics a mothers heartbeat and the swooshing sound that babies are familiar with in-utero. If all room scents and odors are eliminated and the room temp is around 75 degrees and they are well wrapped in a thin, comfy blanket, it mimics the womb. If you hold them close to your abdomen and wrapped like this and walk around the room it recreates the womb and ... bingo! the crying stops within a few minutes, or as soon as they calm down and 'perceive' they are back 'home'.
*shakes head wearily* You don't have kids, do you, Anon.
DeleteI couldn't agree more some means of attatchment parenting will comfort baby. Parenthood presents you with a defenseless infant who for 9 months grew in total security and then bizarrely parenting advisors recommend you let that little one cry it out in difficult phases.... Parents did to the best of their ability and knowledge. I carried my son everwhere wrapped close as an infant the on my back well into toddlerhood, will that have eased his anxieties, his isolation, I hope so, it takes years ahead to really see the path of parenting we choose in effect. Hopefully the balances rectify the imbalances. The observation with mice is very interesting.
DeleteSociopaths are not the only ones who lead socially deviant lifestyles. For example, many criminals have some of the characteristics described above, but because they are capable of feeling guilt, remorse, empathy and strong emotions, they are not considered Sociopaths. A diagnosis of psychopathy is made only when there is solid evidence that the individual matches the complete profile—that is, has most of the above symptoms.
DeleteI raised a Sociopath; my oldest son was the result of a rape and I'm sure his father was a sociopath;very charming and manipulating. Couple that with me being very young and not having a clue what I was doing and well; perfect environment. I was very driven; determined to prove I could make something of myself despite this rape and unplanned child. I did love him, very much; we were very close but I was not nurturing and always told him to be tough (show no emotion) I've since raised 3 other children via attachment parenting in a loving home with a loving father and they are great kids. I feel very guilty for my oldest son's life. He was constantly in trouble,though he was always able to talk his way out, except the last time; he got 20 years. He had to do every bit and will be out next month; I have mixed emotions. I am so relieved he made it and can't wait to spend time with him but wonder if his sociopath ways will send him back and this time someone may get hurt. Thanks for the info
God's peace and love to all
Tami
March 7, 2013 at 6:25 PM
First Tami stop believe that God exist,that is just the theory which is used to manipulate over Europe for MANY years.God is fiction created by human mind to delete they fears thanks to someone like God is.And be little more realistic about your son he should be treated with bigger love since he was a boy.Environment is everything.
DeleteI concur. God is a myth concocted to control the masses. Free yourself from the tyranny!
DeleteIt's everyone's right to practice whatever religion they want. I personally think that religion has caused many more problems than it has solved, but it helps some people. Be respectful of that
DeleteI'm 30 years old and i know for a fact that i have related behavioral advantage.... I built a strong code of conduct for myself and some reminder to keep myself in line. I've been trying to find some descent source of information (book and blog) but everywhere and everything i read seem to be pretty negative or seeing different condition as a disorder when it's only a different way of processing information ...... Is there some more objective reading about cognitive and behavioral function regarding empatic consciousness and emotional inhibition ?
DeleteSociopathicinquiries@outlooks.com
psuado-schizoids
Delete1st anonymous I think if I were going to take someone seriously it would be someone who can string together a complete sentence. 2nd anonymous, you sound like a militant atheist of the kind who knows very little about spirituality and/or religion and the purpose and practice of a religion. There is no reason anyone should take cues from either of you on the topic of whether or not God exists. Third anonymous: thank you for your respect.
DeleteThis website has fascinated me, every topic is different from the other and interesting too.
ReplyDeleteNote:-Check with the Astrologer whether you are affected by BlackMagic or not for FREE.
ReplyDelete"If a gene never expresses the proteins that could direct the body's functioning in a given way, then we may as well not possess that gene at all"
ReplyDeleteSays who? Some backseat driver asshole?
“Imagine how you would feel if you were completely uncoordinated—unable to do anything for yourself—and your cries for help went unheeded. A baby whose cries are not answered does not become a ‘good’ baby (though he may become quiet); he does become a discouraged baby. He learns the one thing you don’t want him to: that he can’t communicate or trust his needs will be met.”
ReplyDelete..... ...... ......
Then why aren't we all sociopaths?
DeleteI don't believe this author's colic caused his parents to mistreat him without proof. My own son who has been diagnosed as a sociopath had terrible colic as a baby for which we took him to the hospital twice thinking he must be in pain.
I loved that baby with all my heart, breast fed him, held him, took him for walks, read him stories. I was a stay at home mom and my children meant everything to me. I attended all their school meetings and fought for their rights against neighbours and teachers.
I do not deserve all the pain two of these children have brought me. There has got to be another reason for sociopathy than our parents.
Then why aren't we all sociopaths?
DeleteI don't believe this author's colic caused his parents to mistreat him without proof. My own son who has been diagnosed as a sociopath had terrible colic as a baby for which we took him to the hospital twice thinking he must be in pain.
I loved that baby with all my heart, breast fed him, held him, took him for walks, read him stories. I was a stay at home mom and my children meant everything to me. I attended all their school meetings and fought for their rights against neighbours and teachers.
I do not deserve all the pain two of these children have brought me. There has got to be another reason for sociopathy than our parents.
I agree.
DeleteYou answered your own question! You fought against the neighbours and teachers!!??? REALLY! You taught your child that they're always right, and can do no wrong in your opinion. Thanks for us having to live with your mistake.
DeleteSometimes your neighbors and teachers do not mean well for your children, in which case you do have to fight against them. This would not cause a child to necessarily think they can do no wrong.
Deletenot 1st :-(
ReplyDeleteWhere's Haven?
ReplyDeletejust follow the trail of sociopath's
ReplyDeletebe good and you'll get there
ReplyDeletebe bad and i'll take you there
ReplyDeleteI've repeatedly asked my parents if I was a difficult child, or if they remember anything unusual about my development, but as far as I've learned I was just a "regular baby, if a bit quiet." For some sociopaths the environmental triggers may well be traced back to negligent or distant caregivers during their formative years. For most, though, I would think that their 'becoming,' as it were, was a much more subtle and untraceable process. Nothing is ever as simple as "welp, guess somebody didn't get enough hugs as a child."
ReplyDeleteI was considered the perfect baby because I slept and slept and slept to the point they wanted to see if I died. I wonder what I was missing out on.
DeleteHeh, me too. Bad form considering the baby they had before me DID die suddenly in her sleep. It's a miracle I turned out as normal as I have.
DeleteI know a mother that loved her crying child and
Deletedid everything to comfort that child and the child
grew up and lacked empathy for others.....
I'm that mother.
DeleteThank you for you comments. I have recently been remembering repressed memories about my sister(1 yr younger ,died in 1990) I suffered extreme pain bc of her. I have been trying to figure out why. I know I loved her very much,tried to get her to confide in me, she never would. I believe she was a sociopath. My parents weren't perfect,but not abusive,especially not to an infant. We have a lot of mental illness in our family. I believe her condition was genetic.
DeleteI have an older sister whom I think is a sociopath but I am not sure. Mental illness runs in my family as well, I have aunt who has some kind of mental illness and all her children are in some form or other suffering from some kind of mental condition as are all my brothers. I am trying to learn every thing I can about inheritable mental illness. I think it's important to know your medical history if only just to put a name to your ones condition.
DeleteTry looking into Fragile X Syndrome. It's genetic and causes Autism. 1 of mine w/it has no empathy and is both verbally and physically abusive.
DeleteI am sorry you went through that ME. *Tomato free Zone* Eden he he
ReplyDeleteI would take it even further and suggest that the mother's experiences hence the hormones she is exposing the baby to while in the womb makes a huge difference. This is shown to be true with the sexual development of the child (male, female, transgender, etc.). I believe this stage also proves to be very important in terms of connecting to humanity (mother-child connection is the most important in this regard).
ReplyDeleteJust like how ME thinks it would be hard to nurture and connect to a colic-impacted child, it would be very hard for an infant for the baby in the womb to be connected to a neurotic, fearful, screaming, and crying, anxiety-filled mother.
So what's your point?
DeleteAlso, I agree with that guy above. How certain is this information. It seems to me that this book is just a big "what if".
when a narc loves a beeper berry much they make a socio)
ReplyDeleteAnother old post.
ReplyDeleteParents of sociopaths probably play a role, even if they won't admit it. Children are supposed to be bonding with their mothers through oxytocin from zero to three. This sets the brain for attachment to others in the future. I have a theory we will see more and more sociopathic behavior from nons due to the amount of mothers who are incapable of providing those bonding times. There are a variety of causes now. Work - kids raised by stressed out daycare workers who don't give a fuck about them. This new generation raised in day care and on Jersey Shore is probably the most narcissistic sociopathic generation yet.
I'm very far on the malignant narcissist spectrum. I was raised by a neglectful narcissist father (often absent) and perhaps a borderline (crazy & committed suicide), and at one point had a mother-figure that was openly hostile (and secretly abusive, physically and sexually) to me.
ReplyDeleteThat's the classic dictator/serial-killer upbringing: weak father, awful mother.
My bonding to others is screwed up. For instance, suppose we're at war. If so, I'd torture my friends and family to death if the costs outweighed the benefits (e.g. "win the war"). That doesn't mean I don't like my friends - I do. E.g. I'd torture you to death if it helped my friends and family. Basically, I've got the mentality of an organized criminal (very good to those on the inside, very bad to those on the outside - with a fluid sense of who is inside/outside).
I'm sadistic and brutal. I've done bad things to animals. I get turned on watching aggressive women (female MMA!) hurt women or men. I get really turned on watching women cry.
But I got my DNA tested recently, and I've apparently got the pro-social oxytocin gene variant (rs53576). Supposedly, had I had a nice upbringing, I'd be optimistic, happy and less cynical.
There is way more to serial killers than an absent father and a smother mother. I truly believe serial killers would become killers with a fine childhood. There are predators in the human species.
DeleteI've done serial killing (of non-humans).
DeleteThat was what got me to notice my patterns; after I found myself doing some really anti-social and illegal stuff, I finally sat down and tried to figure out what it is about me that is different (and so anti-social).
It was a self-serving decision - I hit me that I need to stop this stuff before it bites me in the ass.
Michael Kaplor, 16, said he has been biting his girlfriend on and off for about a year.
ReplyDelete"For me, biting is the way to show affection toward the other person and to just get a crazy adrenaline rush and not so much to mark territory or to show I belong to something, but just to show the other person I care and there's a deeper sense of affection," he said.
He bites his girlfriend on or around her shoulder to ensure the marks remain hidden. The teen said he draws no blood but knows of others who do.
How do you tell a sig other you have attachment problems? Or do you not do it?
ReplyDeleteIntimacy is letting someone see you. It is very hard but if you can't, then you are not allowing for intimacy.
DeleteEpigenetics is a new and fascinating field. They also found that if you took newborn babies from nurturing rat parents and gave them to abusive rats, those babies grew up abusive and mean. While abusive rats' offspring given to nurturing parents were a little nasty themselves, but surprisingly nurturing to their own children.
ReplyDeleteMy sister and I grew up with an emotionally abusive narcissist bitch grandmother (and unbelievably weak parents who let her run riot). I was the nice child who got treated like crap and my sister was the nasty bitch who was treated as a princess.
Both of us are sociopaths, but I'm a high functioning one who is an "attachment parent" (very nurturing), while my sister abuses her kids in every way she can get away with. Mind you, I'm the homicidal one who gets off on violence, but has a good husband and works as a palliative care nurse. My sister just can not keep a man or a job. So who knows about genetics/upbringing.
Crying babies give me a fucking headache!
ReplyDeleteChappelle's I'm Rick James bitch is on!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha
ReplyDeleteA lot of research has shown that sociopath behavior is linked to infantile death causing brain cells in the frontal lobe to die, obviously environment and nurturing can still cause the onset of sociopathy but in these cases that kind of sociopathy can be fixed whereas Brain cells cannot recover, both factors affected me as a child and I'm not sure which one is more likely to be the cause
ReplyDeleteMy sister is a sociapath. She has conned manipulated people, She has done some pretty evil things. She worked in a nursing home and made the residents a dog food pie. She has put a cat in a tumble dryer and switched it on. She threw a kitten under one of thd down syndrome residents as she was about to sit down. The kitten died. She thinks all of these things are highly funny and gets kicks out of it. She fed her husband cake day and night so he would get fat. At the age of 16 she worked on a youth training scheme working in a hospital. She befriended an old man. She made him think she was his girlfriend, not sure if she did sexual favours for him. He asked my father for her hand in marriage. What a joke, she did end up being left his family home and all his money when he died. At 17 she bought our mum and dad with all the money she inherited. She manipulated them for the last 35 years. She sent a valentine card to a woman whos husband had died a year earlier, The card read To Christoper i miss our Friday night shag.. She made out that a woman had had an affair with her.. she wants to torture other peoples minds, I think its because hers is so fucked up she wants everyone around her to suffer too. I have given her chance after chance but recently we fell out again, this time no going back, i discovered she is a sociapath and i will never have her in my life again. I felt a fool to think i let her back in. Never in this lifetime will she get the chance again. She was born without a consience and she has to live with the burden of being a sick human being.
ReplyDeleteI think my sister is a sociopath as well but I am not 100% sure. I do know that she scares me but she says she's scared of me and when I ask her what is she scared about. She never tells me. We had a fall out because she says I've kept secrets from her but I don't know what she is talking about. I am younger than she is and she started getting into trouble by the time she was 11 years old. She got into fights with other students for no apparent reason. She's been arrested many times: auto theft, shoplifting, disorderly conduct. She abandoned her son when he was just born. She drinks a lot of alcohol and smokes weed almost on a daily biases. She's bisexual and very promiscuous. She has sex with different people in the same day. She once violently through out her girlfriend, who she claims is the love of her life, yet badmouths her till this day. Apparently, her girlfriend was having sex with men for money. She mistreated this girl so badly that when she laid dying in the hospital the girl's parents didn't want my sister near her, and even put a restraining order against her. My sister has gone through so many therapist, some have labeled her bipolar but she can never find a good one to help her. I too have tried to help her but I don't how to. I think I will give up on her. I am really sad that I have to make this decision....but I must for my own sanity.
DeleteShe sounds like a classic sociopath... and that whole thing about you keeping secrets from her, and her being scared of you - that is also a classic sociopath manipulation technique - it transfers the attention from her to YOU, and because you have feelings, you start questioning yourself whether or not your could have done something that did upset her. Mission accomplished - you are no longer focusing on her, meaning she is off the hook. My ex would also use another one, when after years of this I started being more persistent about confronting him on some of the things he did, he would start crying and say that he did not feel safe anymore, and if this was done with a therapist or mediator, they would of course fall for it .... "oh, a sensitive man!" we must come to his aid. Then he would ask that I leave the room, and then he would feed them whatever story he could to make me look bad, and make his story believable, and he was very good at that. I lost all my friends because of him, he was even able to have my best friend leave me just before the divorce, when I needed her most. Now that is talent - how exactly do you accomplish that.
DeleteAnyways, therapy is not good for sociopaths - in fact it makes them worse, as they learn more techniques for manipulating people. And there is no cure - you can't make her better. She will be a sociopath for the rest of her life. Just keep yourself safe.
faggot
ReplyDeleteI was born with a heart arrhythmia and was in the hospital for a while, then I was on medications that caused me to cry incessantly for almost the entire first year of my life. I was never one for playing with dolls with my sister until there was absolutely no other way to exhaust my imagination. I have a high IQ and was ostracized from my peers at a young age, my behavior becoming sociopathic by my early teens..
ReplyDeleteWho gives a shit really stop whining already
ReplyDeleteIt's a choice. Everyone has a choice to make.
ReplyDeleteShut the fuck up. Everyone is who they are. And guess what? They SHOULD be. So shut the fuck up.
ReplyDeleteGenetic marker and environmental assault are at play. Absolutely right!!! My daughter was a crying baby and never slept through the night till seven years old. She was slowly developing some weird behaviors like phobias and to many otherwise normal kids activities, besides severe constipation. Later on I found out she had (not allergy) but food intolerance to dairy and gluten which caused her to have constipation, colic, to have nutrition deficiencies, gut flora imbalance and also some concentration of heavy metals (because of the gut wall was permeable and open the gates to all kind of toxins). It's easy to find pictures of damaged small intestine caused by gluten inflammation, where most nutrients from foods are absorbed, Today when I look back, I have a clear understanding on how I saved her from been a sociopath. She had all the symptoms listed as a child who would later be a sociopath. Also, because of the gut permeability, all the neurotransmitters were messed up (another characteristic of the brain test of sociopaths) because the gut/brain connection. It is a very good theory for explaining the real causes not just in sociopaths but also in autism and schizophrenia as well. Look up all the research on gluten and mental illnesses exists out there. There is a pediatrician in New Zealand Dr. Ron Ford (gluten doctor) who treats unusual kids behavior by diet modification alone and not medication. Dairy, gluten and soy are the top of his list for removal. The parents positive testimonials on this phase are amazingly shocking. I hope this would trigger some curiosity to someone looking for answers and consequently happiness.
ReplyDeleteYes, and yes! We had our kid's tested at the Enterolab in Texas, the only one which tests for food sensitivity from stool sample, which is less invasive for small children and more accurate. They also do the genetic test which says it all.
Delete"The book . . . has a low opinion of us generally, so I wouldn't recommend taking the time to read it."
ReplyDeleteI found this amusing. Are you aware that, often, normal people who are loving and empathetic view the absence of empathy and remorse in a person as signs that the person isn't even *human*, for heaven's sake? They see you as lacking the main thing that defines us. If all a sociopath detects is a "low opinion" he should consider himself ahead.
I'm sorry but you are not a sociopath, A true socipath would no even take a second of their time writing what you have written. Sociopaths don't care. They have absolutely not one ounce of desire to share their story with others for the shear sake of sharing or bettering themselves in ANY way. They don't want to better themselves or learn anything just for the sake of learning. They have no genuinity at all. I'm not sure why you believe you are one, but if you were diagnosed by a therapist, I would ask for my money back if I were you.
ReplyDeleteI worked for an attorney who was truly a sociopath. Spent 8 hours a day with that crazy woman for six years. The only reason I stayed was the pay was good. However, I don't think I'll ever be the same after watching her antics for all that time.
ReplyDelete