Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Aspie's bully sociopaths

In keeping with the previous post of aspie's/autie's not being as innocent as they seem, I was sad to see this story of an innocent sociopath being tormented by people with asperger's/autism. I guess being empathy-challenged makes aspie's/autie's excellent bullies:
I got involved in a forum war on Aspergia three years ago, in which I was arguing that a sociopath’s neurodiversity should be respected just like everyone else’s. The argument got started after a woman who was a clinical sociopath started posting on Aspergia’s forum. She had a very poor understanding of other people’s emotions, and she habitually made provocative statements as a way of getting responses that were strong enough for her to understand. Although she knew this wasn’t the ideal way to interact with people, she didn’t know what else to do. She came to Aspergia to learn how autistics dealt with the problem of misunderstanding emotions.

Of course, she didn’t explain all of this forthrightly and ask for help. I don’t think she was capable of expressing her intentions so clearly. Several of us dragged it out of her after a long, convoluted discussion that literally went on for days. After we figured out why she was there, a few of us started giving her advice on constructive ways to ask people about their feelings without being manipulative.

Unfortunately, by then she had already annoyed several other members of the forum with her confusing and provocative writing style, and they got together and decided to hound her off the forum with a barrage of nasty personal insults and rants about sociopaths. The poor woman did her best to avoid taking the bait and to practice writing friendly, non-provocative posts, but it didn’t matter what she wrote—they bashed it, and her, mercilessly.

I told them they should be ashamed of themselves for bullying a person because of her neurology on an autistic rights forum. The resulting argument went on for two months.

I’m not trying to start a war here, but I do feel it’s necessary to say this: Sociopaths have a cognitive disability. They’re not necessarily evil, and they can be taught more positive ways of interacting with people. And I am very strongly opposed to demonizing any group of people on the basis of their neurology.
First of all, I want to know what is this aspergia and what happened to this woman?Second, I wonder why she would be on an asperger's/autism site for advice on understanding emotions. That seems like the blind leading the blind to me. But fellow sociopaths, be warned that you will get even less acceptance from the rest of the empathy-challenged community than you will from the empaths themselves, to their eternal shame.

54 comments:

  1. Innocent sociopath, ha.

    As a sociopath, I totally condone the empath's babying and favoring Aspie's more. Why? Sure, they lack empathy, but aren't conscience-deficient. My father's an aspie and I've dated an aspie (who now remains a friend and a very useful resource for the reason I'm about to get into) and they get "stuck" on pure moralistic codes.

    Total obedience and the purest observation of moral code (much better than empaths) seem to characterize them. Sure, they cannot gauge situational right or wrong in a social context but they adhere to moral absolutes and to me, are generally blameless in that their intent is never to use people and is much more child-like in nature.
    Also, I've found that aspies can be made to feel an emotional understanding through music or movies. They do so love their movies.

    I suppose I just feel that trying to put us on the same page as aspie's is the namby-pamby way out when there's much more fun to be had simply remaining unidentified rather than accepted as defected.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I would say that it isn't just those of us on the spectrum that are neurodivergents, but anybody whose brain had atypical development io the womb. Spectrumites are just one end of the neurodivergent spectrum. I am an Aspie.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have to agree with Jane. To a sociopath recognition and acceptance can only help to create problems where there need not be any.

    Other than that, it surprises me somewhat that you seem surprised that people with Asperger's aren't "nice". Truth is, of course, that there're assholes everywhere, and aspies are no exception. I've actually witnessed this first hand with a person whom I - if it wasn't because I fairly easy can recognize emotion in others - would've thought him to be a sociopath and not a person with Asperger's.

    Asperger's is in itself as varied as other personality types, and not all aspies have the same level or same kinds of social deficiencies. This guy actually attempted to manipulate me, I'm still paying him back for it. And on that note - again agreeing with Jane: Aspies (and the guy I'm referring to as well) may attempt to manipulate, but they do it from a childlike basis.
    As we know, children generally have just as strong emotions as do adult neurotypical people, but they lack the social know-how and their emotions haven't developed into the "finer" varieties that adults display ... And be it as it may: Children can be very, very nasty toward others, and the more intelligent ones will, given the opportunity, try to manipulate not only other children but adults too.

    I understand your reaction to the experience you describe, M.E., you obviously have a strong sympathy for the group you have chosen to represent, and I can only say that I agree with you on a certain level: I don't see any reason to reject another being solely on the basis of their neurological make up. It's their actions - and one's own ability to deal with them - that counts!

    *******

    @Jane,

    I have noticed those moral hang-ups in aspies that you mention as well. It always puzzles me, because these people are often highly intelligent and operate their understandings of the neurotypical world with logics.

    Maybe I can ask...


    @Hugo Wagner,

    being an aspie yourself, would you perhaps have any insight to share on this matter?


    Zhawq.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, I forgot to mention, M.E., the link "this story" leads to a discussion about Autism Vaccines.

    Zhawq.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I agree, these "losers" are the most self-Adsorb dipshits you will ever the unfortunate misfortune to know. I've met and even posted on the forums of the Wrong headed Planet. They can be quite cruel (in of course a rather crude and boring way) and tend cite the norms of society (without actually thinking about what really is right or wrong) then expunging such drivel for the world to see.

    Sadly, their kind is embraced by the empaths as "can become useful member of society". Some people can be quite blind, can't they? Perhaps their gullibility is what most empaths count on. Hey, "easy to manipulate and use, oh goodie, free slave labor" Haha

    ReplyDelete
  6. Jealous, at least they don't hide behind a mask. If you really wanted acceptance you wouldn't use the trust you gain against them. Not all empath's are sucker's we can be loyal but you make it a lose, lose situation with your alterior motive's.

    ReplyDelete
  7. @ zhawq: Because sociopath's PDs were created in their developing brains, they're NDs. That's logic. Because it's wrong for NTs to bully us, it's wrong for any person to bully anybody. That's logic.

    ReplyDelete
  8. All of you sociopaths are total hypocrites who misunderstand empaths and aspies. What gives you the right to do whatever you want to other people? You're all just bigots who are self-righteous.

    I happen to like empaths and aspies because I can sympathize with them. But you sociopaths don't care about anyone, except maybe yourselves. You're just insensitive, biased, and judgmental with your heads in your asses.

    And who says that sociopaths aren't necessarily evil? I don't believe that in the least.

    If I were you, I'd leave empaths and aspies alone. Why can't you just let go of your narcissistic egos and let them be?

    P.S. Hugo you're right that it's wrong to bully others. I may not be a goody-goody. But I don't support bullying and sociopathy, and never will.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You're just insensitive, biased, and judgmental with your heads in your asses.

    Right back atcha, sport.

    ReplyDelete
  10. are you serious? you've got it the other way around. aspies just want to be left alone. it's sociopaths like you who make it look like they're bullying you.

    @postmodern sociopath:

    'look who's talking.'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You tell him or her, fellow anti-sociopath.

      Delete
  11. Sociopaths are extremely adept at playing the pity card and convincing others that so-and-so bullied them. They are truly wolves in sheep clothing. Cut the crap.

    I've tried to put myself in the shoes of a S/P to figure out how they do this and am totally stumped. Wouldn't know where to begin and wouldn't be convincing enough.

    ReplyDelete
  12. " an innocent sociopath"
    One of us does not understand what a sociopath is.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yes, I'm sure the S/P's feelings were genuinely hurt. *facepalm*

    I suspect this is more a case of "butt-hurt" in that the attempted pity grab failed. This isn't surprising.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Okay, I don't understand why some of the Aspies were cruel to the person on the forum after she made efforts to improve her communication style; that seems morally incorrect to me. But I also don't understand why she would be deliberately "provocative" in the first place. Maybe it's my inexperience with sociopaths, but if provoking a bunch of people wasn't her intention, didn't she have any safer ways to express herself?

    ReplyDelete
  15. I don't like being mean to people >_<
    I like to help people :D

    ReplyDelete
  16. I went to graduate school for engineering. I'm an empath who's also really good at math. Lived and worked in a veritable sea of aspies. Lots of you guys are bullies, controlling, abusive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm with you on everything that you posted.

      Delete
  17. Since you complained about aspies bullying innocent sociopaths, I'd like to warn people who bullies and are against those who are against bullying. One of them's a guy whose name is Izzy Kalman. And these are examples of websites where you can find him in:

    1. http://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/izzy-kalman

    2. http://bullies2buddies.com/‎

    3. https://twitter.com/IzzyKalman‎

    There are also other websites that support bullying. And these are them:

    1. http://archive.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=4332741740&ShowSims=Y

    2. http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.394589-Bullying-Stop-the-complaining

    3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q0fkgQ83cE

    4. https://www.facebook.com/crybabiessolvenoproblems

    Actually, the first site in the second list above this paragraph doesn't support bullying. But some jerkass whose username is Jay L D J Cousins posted this:

    "OH MY LORD JESUS OF HEAVEN ! HOW SAD IS THIS GROUP HAHAAHA LET PEOPLE GET BULLIE, IT GETS THEM USED TO FUTURE LIFE.. HOW YOU ASK ? I DONTKOW, BUT IT DOES.. LOL ANYWAYSS... By Jaay x x x x x x x"

    If you won't tolerate bullying anymore, then I suggest you contact those jerks. And because you troll the Web all the time, I suggest that you do the same to those bully-supporting numbskulls.

    What do you say?

    ReplyDelete
  18. I believe that she thought that aspies and auties would be more accepting and may be they could help because i as being a sociopath asked for help from emapths and they were very brutal not as brutal as the auties and the aspies but still brutal and shortly after i found your site

    ReplyDelete
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  21. Way to go, spammer. that should show the maker of this blog what a liar he is. After all, it's aspies who get bullied and not sociopaths since the second of them aren't really innocent.

    ReplyDelete
  22. If a cat got a thorn stuck in it's paw, and you knew it didn't care about you, you should still take the thorn out if you consider yourself kind. I don't think your kindness should depend on whether the cat cares about you or not, especially since it's the cat's nature. ~ I'm an aspie...

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