A human being is part of the whole, called by us 'universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest -- a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.
--Albert Einstein
--Albert Einstein
"Equality is a perversion of the natural order!…It binds the strong to the weak. They become anchors that drag the exceptional down to mediocrity. Individuals destined and deserving of greatness have it denied them. They suffer for the sake of keeping them even with their inferiors." - Darth Bane (Star Wars)
ReplyDelete"Tell me what you regard as your greatest strength, so I will know how best to undermine you; tell me of your greatest fear, so I will know which I must force you to face; tell me what you cherish most, so I will know what to take from you; and tell me what you crave, so that I might deny you…" ―Darth Plagueis
ReplyDeleteI've always thought the whole sith darkside philosophy was terribly fascinating.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZ294VMc59M
Delete***NERD ALERT!!! DANGER WILL ROBINSON! DANGER!!!***
ReplyDeleteCode of the Sith:
Peace is a lie,
There is only passion.
Through passion I gain strength,
Through strength I gain power.
Through power I gain victory,
Through victory my chains are broken...
"do what thy will be the whole of the lore" Allister Crowley
ReplyDeleteGuys!!! Please get out more!! lmao am i the only person in this world who hasn't watched star wars??...you guys even know the lines!!! ahhh bless!!
ReplyDeleteThose lines are from star wars books not movies, much more interesting.
Deletei laughed so hard at birdicks comment i almost spit my drink out!!! very funny.
ReplyDeleteI have to say, I don't know if quoting Sith Lords is the best way to convince people that you should be accepted in society as what you are... it kinda adds to the image of socio's as evil, wouldn't you say?
ReplyDelete-Jen, a curious empath
I love your comment Jen, though I'd add that I'm not sure that quoting from Star Wars is the best way to convince anyone of anything!!!
DeleteNot first.
ReplyDeleteYou're three years too late, dude!
ReplyDeleteThis post is amazing! The boundaries of time and space are human though, and spiritually the universe is not bound by such laws. :-)
ReplyDeleteFunny... I saw the exact same quote on a Huffington Post blog the other day. On the Buddhism page.
ReplyDelete...and here's the link:
Deletehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/roshi-joan-halifax/zen-brain-exploring-the-connection-between-neuroscience-and-meditation_b_964925.html?utm_hp_ref=buddhism
buddism and sociopathy are the same like schizoids and sociopaths are the same
DeletePrecisely. I think that M.E is having a good hardy-ha at the expense of anyone who's taken this post to mean anything even remotely related to sociopathy.
DeleteI never realised how boring this place used to be when it was full of intellectuals. I liked it then.
ReplyDeletethat makes no sense.
DeleteWell, according to the mononymi I never make sense.
Deletei like the intellectual conversations too. also no one speaks all smart and creamy anymore. *sigh*
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl8fKAYQuPk
DeleteHas this place ever been “full of intellectuals”? I keep seeing names like Peter Pan, Tinkerbelle and Disney... *chuckle*
DeleteY'all niggas posting in a troll thread
Deletelol are you jealous or what? do you have your own thread there and everybody ignores it? that marcus needed to vent,he did,and now ppl are makinf fun and insulting him.reasonable enough.
DeleteYeah, it actually kinda was for a while, Alia. Pre-Monica. There was a time before it was all about gaming and torturing newbies. I think we ran through all the topics worth discussing though, and when they come up again no one gives a shit anymore.
DeleteI thought we were friends, Medusa ~
DeleteAbsolutely beautiful, M.E.
ReplyDeleteProfound and thought provoking.
Yes, I'd like to shag M.E. as well!
DeleteWouldn't we all
DeleteYet another sycophant groupie...
DeleteME's mine you bitch!
DeleteOne of my Favorites-
DeleteAnd GE too
Is that the Delphic Oracle, or the Wizard of Oz?
DeleteWhy are there so many lesbians at this blog?
DeleteAnd how many gay men...
Delete7:25, why do you ask that?
DeleteWhy would gay men want to shag ME? ME is a chick.
DeleteSome of the girls think ME is a man, that's why they get in heat over her.
DeleteME IS a man
DeleteFake Monica
DeleteGuys, if you want to fake me, don't make me a hoe.
Are you a lesbian Monica?
DeleteNo way! Why would you think I was a lesbian, Anon?
DeleteBecause you want ME, and Me is a girl, duh.
Delete"7:25, why do you ask that?" etc. "Why would you think I was a lesbian, Anon?"
DeleteThese are quite contrived sounding conversations..
That would account for half the conversations at socioworld.
Delete.. and generous too.
DeleteWhy can't a woman compliment someone without everyone assuming she wants to fuck them?
DeleteBecause it was so obvious - despite your protest to the contrary. You sound hurt though, so I apologise.
DeleteI can see more hipster-yoda-like-zen sayings from Postal getting thrown out here today.
ReplyDeleteGood Morning to those up already (or Good night to those who haven't gone to bed; perspective right?)
Gungydude, not everybody's from America around here, there are other possibilities. And keep playing with Postmodern like that and he'll have you for breakfast, because you're not very bright.
Delete"hipster-yoda-like-zen sayings" ! Fantastic Gungy!
DeleteI completely forgot I wrote this up here! LOL! BoD, I'm not sure if your cool yet or not. You're way too much on top this Premodern's johnson.
DeleteWhoa, new featured comment for the first time in like a year.
ReplyDeleteMakes her sound like that Batman shooter upper.
Question to the regulars: I see these twitter updates and i swear it looks as though there are thing I have said popping up in there... but I don't have twitter account or even use those social things. What's up with the twitter updates?
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you'll figure it out eventually.
DeleteLOL... you are a pleasant gorgon aren't you?
DeleteAs gorgons go, yeah.
DeleteHi, everybody. Hope all is well. Anyone on the psychological profile of the Colorado mass murderer?
ReplyDeleteGagreflex, I saw your response to an old post of mine the other day.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, not knowing where you'll surface could scare anyone, I assumed the fear was not being able to surface.
You asked me (turned around my question) my take on why freeze (acceot death or any major failure with no fight) as opposed to fight or flee type reaction.
Freeze is a pretty good option when I know I can't fight or flee. Like the gazelles freezing when chased by a faster predator, and coming out alive after feigned interest.
Freeze is also a good option when the stakes are not that high, sort of like playing a journalist, or having an outer body experience and simply watching what is to unfold in slow motion.
Gungy may have moments where he had to choose amongst freeze/fight/flee. I'd be curious to hear some thoughts, Gungy. And, by the way, you are a fine addition here, we did not have a military rep before but we did in the past talked about appreciating the fact that a sociopathic soldier could be much more effective than not in combat situations.
From what I heard so far, I believe you'd enjoy reading Escape from Freedom, Gungy, if not already.
I aso want to say that for Post to ask kindly one more time for your age definitely called for an honest answer from you. He's never done that before, and he's telling the truth with his age. He has a well-respected status either, well-deserved, and I'd like him to get this bit of info from you (plus minus three years if you don't want to be precise). :) Truth be known, I am curious about your age too.
I believe he already said he's in his 40's.
DeleteAnd what kills me is my age is out there. Right out there. Simple math.
DeleteYes. 42, maybe 43 if your birthday's passed already.
Delete43.
Delete42
Delete44. Basic math.
Deletei tell you what, Postmodern. Sceli has got me to thinking: Within 3 years (just like a carnival game; are you familar with US carnies?); that's fair. So, PMS, pick one: 42 or 43 and I will tell you if you are within 3 years or not?
DeleteHaha, you're such an evil bastard. Stop teasing the boy :D
DeleteHe says he joined at 24 and that he's been in for 18. What exactly do I need you for, Gunge?~
DeleteWasn't that: married for 18 years, in the Marine for 20?
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DeleteI guess 42 but not as your age
Deletenot 'either' but 'here.' funny what mind does when typing fast.
ReplyDeleteHe should not have erection problems then, lol...
ReplyDeleteGood morning sceli. I know, I know... I just couldn't help playing with Postmodern. And to think he did ask kindly a few times. Sceli, I view this blog site as a house of mirrors, I don't trust much of what I see here. Comes from a little paranoia I'm sure, but I would think one a complete fool who comes to a site such as this and isn't more than a little skeptical.
ReplyDeleteFight or Flight. I have seen some crazy shit when it comes to these mechanisms. We train to combat so that when the fight or flight response initially hits muscle memory takes over. This can cause for some hilarious (after the fact for most) situations. We took contact walking down a street one day in Iraq; small arms and a light machine gun were up on a second floor two blocks down. the whole patrol took cover and began returning fire, except Jenkins (brand new machine gunner carrying the 240). Jenkins did exactally what he was taught (only boot camp training for this guy though) he immediately got down... in the middle of the street behind nothing! I was dying laughing as me and his squad leader ran out and got him. Luckily our ambushers sucked. rounds were hitting the deck all around Jenkins but he wasn't moving.
i've also seen instances were young Marines in a fire fight will have a stoppage with their weapon and raise their hand like they are taught on the rifle range so that a coach will come help fix the stoppage. It was a fire fight! Kid has a double feed and raises is hand in the middle of the fight! I look over: "Shoot! Asshole!", "But my weapon..." i look down and see three rounds all trying to go in the chamber. he knew what to do in the situation, but it wasn't the right answer.
I've seen brave men cower and cowards do brave things. The trick to survival is keeping your shit when everyone else looses theirs.
Let me add, Jenkins had receved Boot Camp and School of Infantry Training but was freash out of school.
Delete:) THat Jenkins story was funny. I could have been rendered useless from laughing in a situation like that. Actually, once in a country where occasional terrorism was not unheard of at a slight wave of some unexpected shit I found myself running for cover and then looking out to see that everyone else did not move an inch and there was no serious threat. Talk about pathetic and embarrassment, and make that happen right before taking a major interview.
DeleteI sympathize with your situation Gungy. I know you got too many questions on the wife question and I know you don't care about your wife but I still will go ahead and ask some myself.
I don't see you benefiting from divorce at this point, and it probably is not going to do much for your wife either. I think you should start some serious gaming and pump some new life energy into her and see what happens.
Any ideas how you can do that for YOUR woman?
I had said "only boot camp training for this guy though" and I mis spoke.
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DeleteI hope you tell more stories like that, Gungy. I read House To House a year or so back and loved it. The power of christ scene had my adrenaline flowing.
DeleteI'm not familiar with that one, house to house. it was good?
DeleteYeah. I've never felt excitement like that from reading a book before. This is Amazon's description of it:
Delete"One of the great heroes of the Iraq War, Staff Sergeant David Bellavia captures the brutal action and raw intensity of leading his Third Platoon, Alpha Company, into a lethally choreographed kill zone: the booby-trapped, explosive-laden houses of Fallujah's militant insurgents. Bringing to searing life the terrifying intimacy of hand-to-hand infantry combat, this stunning war memoir features an indelibly drawn cast of characters, not all of whom would make it out of the city alive, as well as chilling accounts of Bellavia's singular courage: Entering one house alone, he used every weapon at his disposal in the fight of his life against America's most implacable enemy."
Well Gungy, I think you're starting to become liked around here. You faced the newbie's ordeal quite well.
Deletei will have to check that one out, Elicit. I don't watch too many war movies anymore, they lost their appeal; but I do like to read. Thanks.
DeleteI know a guy who enjoys choosing a fat tall woman and then shaping her into what he wants and creates some amazing-looking women. He has done this four times in the 20 year-time frame I have known him. The first and third are the same woman (after break up the woman had become fat again).
ReplyDeleteThe guy is a control freak who controls what his women eat and how they spend two hours a day in the gym under his directions, plus he drives them crazy in bed. Talk about a man who cooks for you, becomes your personal body-builder, and sex slave... Except, it's all his game, and you're just a tool... Still, pretty much win-win.
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DeleteAs we get older the childhood dreams gain more and more importance. A trailer on the beach is not a bad dream at all, mine would be a shack on a river in some high mountains.
DeleteThere are 3-4 year waiting lines on the beach front lots for trailers. Go ahead and get in the waiting line, you never know when you may want to make your move.
I take it your solution to the situation with her is freeze, not fight not flight, but just freeze and let it be. Why not?
My question is if one is a true sociopath wouldn't one enjoy manipulating this situation to bring her high again and dump when she least expects when the situation is right for him? Just saying.
By the way, everybody, as some of you remember I used to communicate much more, and appear in my own world. I realized silence is indeed deeper, and have been practicing that really well.
But is it win-win? She might look amazing, but how's her sense of autonomy once this artificial situation has ceased?
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DeleteNot so much into that beach trailer anymore. I have grown accustom to the "nice-ities" in life. Not even sure if that was a dream as just a realization that by myself is where I am most comfortable.
DeleteThe horse has been brought to the river, I have a gun to it's head, it will not drink.
DeleteOr, in her case, will not drink unless there is significant alcohol content, right? How would your two's life be different if she had not sought refuge in the bottle, Gungy? Could you see her growing old with you, studying what interests you both, reaping the rewards of those years of sacrifice?
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DeleteWhere and how I was raised is you father what you fathered (I see where this can go).
DeleteWell, yeah. And you don't strike me as a man who dithers around before getting to the point. So, this describes you as well as your parents ... Lets get on with unraveling it.
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DeleteDuring boot camp, he received his Dear John letter
DeleteYeah. Shades of your wife on the front porch. We know.
My father is a narcissistic asshole, but he was there.
Yeah. We know this too. - You have stayed in a loveless marriage for convenience. I bet you've managed to convince yourself it was mostly for your kids though.
Come on, Gungy. You're still beating around the bush like some delicate empath. How did your father make you shut up when you were off on your morbid trains of thought? And how did he exercise control of you the way you do with your kids?
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DeleteDad never just straight beat the shit out of me or physically abused me
DeleteOK. Well, just because the physical violence perpetrated upon you, and by you, stopped about age 10 , doesn't neutralize it. I didn't have any physical abuse so can't comment (Medusa? You know way more about this), but abuse of any kind leaves its mark.
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DeleteAbuse. Pain is the greatest teacher. Spare the rod...
DeleteYou like sayings Gungy: "Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love." ~Gandhi
Deleteor: "Don't wait for people to be friendly, show them how"
DeleteEven after Grandma gives you kisses, it takes a while before you readily go to the strange woman... touch a hot stove once.
DeleteSo do you want to be more like your Grandmother or a hot stove?
DeleteDepends on you I'm teaching now doesn't it?
DeleteSpare the rod...
Delete...and...
DeleteLife in the civilized world:
ReplyDelete'This was worse than a war zone' "There Was Blood Everywhere"
"If you're going over to a war zone, you know there's the potential that you're going to be shot at. Potential that mortars are going to come over the wall. Potential that somebody is going to throw a grenade at you. Where if you're sitting in a movie theater trying to watch a movie with your friends, who expects to be shot in a movie theater? None of us did."
The Gungy wrote:
Delete"We have a multi thousand dollar gym in the garage. I use it. the boys use it. I have offered to assist her in using it and developing a routine. I walk most evenings after dinner. I ask her to come. I talked to her abut returning to school on line and all the ways we can pay for it through grants, scholarships, and other TA. The horse has been brought to the river, I have a gun to it's head, it will not drink."
And that's the exact point (imo - which is also the point - i.e. "perspective") No one can "make" do it, or "change" her. It's an autonomy issue.. Regardless of how much you care, she would need to feel empowered in her choices, and that's easier if she regards herself as her own internal authority. Perhaps your genuine attempts to "help" are in fact creating the barrier to her ability to take herself seriously and therefore move forwards. All in my opinion, of course.
Of course. And there is the point; I don't care. I have done all I have in the spirit of the win-win situation discussed before. I didn't really realize what I was doing at the time. I do now. I really didn't, that's why I didn't put much effort into it. And she isn't strong enough to do it on her own. I loose further respect for one of my things. It gets pushed to the side. Snowball...
DeleteThe Grungy wrote: "She isn't strong enough to do it on her own".
DeleteShe'll pick up on that, even if you don't actually say it and it'll bring her down. So yeah, that would spiral..
The world is deterministic but not fatalistic. There are random variations at the smallest level. This doesn't mean there is no purpose. Purpose is a tool that I use. Its similar to "goal" or "objective" but over longer periods of time and circumstances. Similar to the "strategy" vs "tactics" idea. Thus it is not possible to live without a purpose. If a person is truly doesn't believe in purpose he/she can't even argue for it because by arguing for something he/she is showing a purpose to do so. Comments like "purpose is only a delusion" is thus stemmed from from emotional reasons, such as fear of failures or laziness to win. People who say such things are usually losers, who deep down knows he/she is afraid of failure and creates a defense mechanism by denying the very existence of purpose. If you have desires than you have purpose. Michael Jordan plays basketball, Charles Manson kills people and I trade. Everyone has a talent.
ReplyDeleteI see your point and I can understand your sense of the word purpose as to: "Does this project have purpose?", "Well, yes. It will bring cleaner water to more people." In that you are correct about the purpose being illusionary. It's the purpose of this life that is illusionary. It gets created in the mind. There is no letter of instruction or memorandum to (easy christians, I know you have the bible... good on ya). If you look at it as just another step in the evolution of life on this planet and a necessary for the survival of man; for what? By into what ever purpose makes you comfortable. Usually one where your talents best fit.
DeleteEvent Series:
ReplyDeleteGrungy vs Post
You don't mess around with........Post
hehe... the gunge is doing a good job though. it's entertaining.
DeleteI love that song!
DeleteKany
ReplyDeleteIf you want to ask me anything else, please ask me here, so I don't have to go back to two "load mores". Thanks.
Validation, Postal... validation.
ReplyDeleteWow! This place is a real nut house, huh?
ReplyDeleteStay around and see... Who are you? :) Tell us more!
DeleteYea, come on play.
DeleteWhat's the game?
DeleteWhat games do you like, Mr. Durden?
DeleteDepends on who's playing.
DeleteAs to what I like.
DeleteLMAO look at Gungy how eager he is for new blood. He even changed his avatar. He'll be staying around long after his leg heals, guys! He's hooked.
DeletexYep! Not all narcs are easy to get rid of, and we like it that way.
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DeleteLMAO Anon 9:50
DeleteDo you like the 'tar? That's me, just for Postal.
DeleteIs it really you, Gungy?
DeleteYes. That is me. Looks just like me.
DeleteI just bought this computer today. Bare with me, please. I am not into games that much. But I will try anything once.
DeleteI'm hoping a few of you will weigh in on the topic of dreams (not aspirations but sleepytime adventures). While asleep, I've been leading a group of four men (for several years now) on what I will call violent rampages through cities unknown to me where I commit what some would call "horrific acts." I also give the guys assignments, and they carry them out. My question: are these dreams common amongst this group, or am I in the wrong place? If you would reply without the newbie hazing, then I would be most appreciative. ;)
ReplyDelete-Jess
P.S. Gotta run out. Will check back later.
ReplyDelete-Jess
Jess
DeleteYou become each and every person and symbol in your dream. You let them "talk". You give voice to them. Just relax and let each one speak. You will find your answer. I bet it will be very different from what you expected.
Ok, I'll be more concise. I'm not interested in finding an "answer." I want to know if violent, gory dreams are common among sociopaths. Responses?
ReplyDelete-Jess
why do you want to know?
DeleteWhy do you ask questions you already know the answers to, Zoe?
Deleteto see if you lie
Deleteand because i'm bored
Deleteor just because i feel like fishing
Deleteor is it maybe to widen my circle of compassion and embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty? what better way to show interest than asking simple non-threatening questions? :)
Deletetruthfully?
Deletei had nothing to contribute.
You can stop answering me now, thanks.
Deleteor are you trying to come up with the answer for yourself
or because you don't know how to settle on one answer
or because you are a flake
or you try too hard to seem friendly and cute
you're no fun, troll. :(
Deleteand what makes you think i know the answer to Jessie's question?
nice Einstein quote.
ReplyDeleteZoe, why do you have a link to Erin's blog in your profile?
Deleteit's convenient
DeleteConvenient for what? She isn't posting anymore, I see.
Deletei haven't visited there lately. busy summer.
DeleteShe hasn't posted anything there since November 3rd last year. :| Not quite a regular visitor I see, so then why the link?
Deleteanon you little nag, i barely keep up with the bills. i forgot the link was there.
Deletenow since i have nothing against Erin and time is precious, there is no reason for me to remove it. i would rather spend the time playing here.. have a post for Kany that i want to do later. :)
Zoe's tripe is boring. Does anyone else care to weigh in?
ReplyDelete-Jess
Jess, how would anyone here know if violent, gory dreams are common among sociopaths? you'd kind of hafta do a study with a control group and all to answer that one wouldn't you?
Deleteor are you hoping people will tell you what they dream and you can make your own conclusion? that might be interesting.
Zoe,
DeleteNow we are getting somewhere. That is EXACTLY what I have in mind. Anyone?
-Jess
Zoe,
DeleteOoops. Realized you asked two questions. I was responding to the latter.
-J
lol i got that Jess, figured it all out, even though i'm falling asleep almost sort of
Deletei'm not a sociopath Jess, so can be part of the control group. i've had surreal, emotionless gory dreams.. from stress, and performance anxiety. it felt kind of like my mind needed to take a huge dump in order to focus later!
Thanks for the info Zoe. My dreams are quite vivid. They recur in that I am always in charge of the same fellas, but the "situations" are always different.
ReplyDeletethose same fellas may be different aspects to yourself, or you in different situations. when i dream my teeth are loose, it's about feeling out of control. i had a dream where i was dead and no one could see it, and i was spitting mad because no one would bury me! i think the dream was about changes in me that others didn't see so the old me had to keep going. it's interesting that you have four guys. do they all look different, the same, or like you? are they people you know? can you rely on them all? do they fight equally?
DeleteI think empathy is when you can't hurt someone because you know what it would feel like.
ReplyDeleteyeah. it can also be why you hurt someone.. because you know what it will feel like. empaths aren't all angels.
DeleteTrue, of course. How profound, Zoe!
Deletethx
DeleteIt seems I only dream when I eat too close to going to bed. This has lead me to believe there most be a connection between the food my body is digesting, the substances they breakdown into, and what effects those substances have on the electrical shit going on in my brain throughout the night. I've tried to see if maybe there was a pattern. You know, maybe ice cream late before going to bed might give me sex dreams? No luck so far. Dreams are always random, vivid, and often lucid.
ReplyDeletelucid where you are aware that you're dreaming?
Deletei have those. anyone else?
Yes. Most the time I do.
DeleteYes, me too. And thanks for your reply Gungy. Anyone else?
Deleteothers will likely post later. it's early. and Sunday.
Deletethanks for the reply Gungy. three for three so far on the lucid dreaming.
DeleteOK. I'll check back tonight.
Delete-Jess
Could either of you share what you mean by lucid dreaming? I know that I'm in the dream and I can pick and chose and action within the dream but not the out come; much like life. But, my dreams, I am supposing, are like anyone else's in that I might be shopping in a grocery store but when I go down aisle 4 it's a 1/2 price sale on old Cheap Trick records and a smaller version of Bob the Big Boy is the attendant type crap, no? In the lucid dream however, if there happens to be an object I want to interact with I can; and as long as I don't try to hard, i can get the object to do what ever it is I want it to do. What say either you.
DeleteI do too, Zoe. I can choose whether to wake up or not sometimes. Sometimes I can´t wake up but I'aware that I'm asleep.
DeleteCould either of you share what you mean by lucid dreaming? I know that I'm in the dream and I can pick and chose and action within the dream but not the out come; much like life.
Deletei become aware that i'm dreaming, and depending on the level awareness i can choose the actions and sometimes change the dream and choose not to follow it. to step out of it and into a different scene. that's always hard because the dream is so compelling, and you have this feeling that you just have to stay with it and finish whatever it is you're doing. it feels as urgent as real life.
I do too, Zoe. I can choose whether to wake up or not sometimes. Sometimes I can´t wake up but I'aware that I'm asleep.
Deletesleep paralysis right?
I find also if I try to manipulate the situation to hard I wake up... that's frustrating.
DeleteI know many of you are tired of my saga with my mother. Some people seem to get something out of it.
ReplyDeleteAlways, I am trying to make peace with it, as if I have a huge sore like the flesh eating bacteria, and I am trying to figure out how to dislodge it.
I was thinking about ME and the appendix. That story touched me, deeply. It has not left my mind since I read it. It makes me cry to think of it, now. He was so out of touch with his body that he could not identify pain.
That reminds me of one of my mother's visits. She came to visit me and she had walking pneumonia and did not know it.
I can see her goofy face at my door. Before I would see her, I would always hope for a different face, just as I hoped for a different person when I would walk home from school.
She came in my door with her expression that looks like she was hit by a baseball bat.
She pushes herself to do things for me.On this trip, she did activities, as she always does.
She loves me. She, always, takes me shopping and buys me make-up or special jewelry.
She loves me, but it is the love of an animal mother, or worse.
Do you dream?
DeleteYes Gungy. Actually, I can have Out of Body experiences. Talk about a great trip. Nothing on the earth can equal them.
DeleteMonica, you might benefit from some Morrissey medicine
DeleteThank you
DeleteIt is nice to know that these feelings are expressed by someone. It did help! Thanks for introducing me to him. I had never heard of him xx
Oh my gosh, you are such a bitch! Your mother pushed herself through torture to go on a trip with you to spend time with you, and she bought you all the feminine attractive things she could to give you an edge in this world and you slander her name every day. She was clearly trying to accentuate your assets so you could grow up and be pretty enough to marry, and you spat in her face. I can't believe how much you hate your mother. She must cry herself to sleep at night.
DeleteKany
DeleteYou are amazing. Good, I wasn't fooled by they false piety LOL
explain Monica,
Deleteyou said she abused you, but now you say she loves you. Why?
Well, SW has helped me have enough healing that I have managed to separate myself from her, to some degree. Prior, I was enmeshed. This is a Psych term for when two people are like one.
DeleteThe Narc parent will do this to the child. They think the child is like their own leg. When the leg does differently than the parent wants, they can punish the "leg" with no compunction. It was THEIR leg, after all.
So, I was stuck, as well. I have managed to see that my mother is a separate person, as strange as that may sound, and it will, if you never experienced it.
So, from this vantage point, I can see she loved me, but it was at an animal kind of level, as her emotional maturity is not capable of more.
and are you going to punish her for being her leg or are you going to forgive her now?
DeleteIf you couldn't see your mother as separate from you before, doesn't that make you a narcissist too?
DeleteWell, Anon, people use the word "forgive" so loosely. People throw it around like a cheap cologne. The answer is to forgive, but it must be heartfelt or it is useless.
DeleteWhen you forgive, you are set free, but getting there is rare, for people.
If you couldn't see your mother as separate from you before, doesn't that make you a narcissist too?
DeleteProbably
Love isn't making a child act the way you want him to act, Monica. or make him the way you want him to think. Love is to accept a child the way they are, accept the way they think and let him grow up becoming someone he wanted to become, and accept it.
DeleteI hope some interesting posters show up today. :(
ReplyDelete:(
DeleteWhat are we?
ReplyDeleteThat's right. Liver chopped into pieces.
DeleteHey now. I've been gone for half a year! I'm sure I've got some great stories to tell. :P
ReplyDeleteTell us one
DeleteAs for finding out who I am... go ahead. PLEASE! and then what? My turn?
ReplyDeleteKeep in mind I am an Operations Chief for an infantry unit. What that means is I am responsible for the assiting in the tactical planning to accomplish all mission assigned to that unit and the logistical planning required to support such a plan. That means over the past 18 years I have networked with people who can find YOU within the hour if I want. But, I will have to cash in some serious favors and until I see something that I can't handle here on my own, none of you are worth those favors. Now I know that was defensive, but I thought you might like the advisement. You have the advice, do what you will.
Gungy, I find this sexy.
Green Eyes lol
DeleteNope, you're wrong. Not GE and not Monica. WTF???? I KNOW!!
DeleteElicit?
Delete