I've always considered myself a bully's bully. Bullies are particularly attractive targets to me because they are very adept at swaying the beliefs and behavior of mobs. As I have said before, mob mentality freaks me out. I feel like attacking the bully is like cutting off the head of the mythical mob beast, or to mix a metaphor, a mob is nothing without its ringleader.
Recently I have been exposed to a bully in a work setting. I never had much interaction with this person before, and then only in positive ways, which was why I was so surprised when a coworker of mine confided that this person makes his work life hell. This particular bully doesn't have any real authority. If anything, my coworker friend is the bully's superior, so the bully is always careful to cover any suspicious activity with passive aggressive behavior. The bully also preemptively attacks my friend's character and credibility so when/if my friend ever complains, he's not going to seem credible. This is a classic manipulative tool, making it seem like your target has a personal vendetta against you so when he reacts (seemingly unprovoked), he = crazy and you = victim. (I feel like this is the plot of many a cat/dog fighting antique cartoon. I also feel like sociopath may have been the inventor of the popular myth -- the completely unjustified personal vendetta.)
Before my friend warned me, I was lulled by the bully's seeming good-nature and charms. I disclosed valuable information, like what projects I was involved with, how things were working out, etc. The bully lulled me into a false sense of security by talking about his own personal details -- disappointing children, bumps in the road of life, etc. The bully did not seem like a threat at all, and I started to question my friend's assessment. But the bully quickly showed his true colors -- yelling, screaming, picking on his legitimate inferiors. I suddenly saw so clearly how the bully was targeting me indirectly -- asking me about my current projects because he wanted to help me fail.
As the bully was saying goodnight to everyone, I pulled him aside, put my hand on his shoulder and said, "You know, I have to apologize to you.Ii made a joke this morning that was in poor taste. You asked how everything was going with my new project and I said 'So far so good.' I didn't mean to imply that i wasn't giving the project my full attention and skill. On the contrary, I am 100% dedicated to the success of this project. I think I was just trying to be self-deprecating, but I realize now that the joke fell flat." Such a non sequitor, uncomfortably sincere apology where no apology was expected will always catch the receiving party off-guard. Granted, the apology was really for nothing, it was really more of a brag. All the better. It confuses the receiving party and makes him feel as if you are very sensitive/weak/vulnerable (even though you aren't), and therefore not at all a threat. They suddenly feel as if they too should be apologizing about things, or explaining, or something -- ANYTHING -- just to fill the oppressively awkward silence while you keep staring into their eyes with your hand meaningfully on their shoulder. I stood there and listened to the bully spill. "Well, it's true that the last few people in charge of that project got fired, and I was just thinking, maybe... but maybe you'll be different..." See what has happened here? I have forced my opponent to show his hand. He has acknowledged that he is aware of what my project is (even though he pretended to have no clue the day before), its history, its importance, his obvious interest in it, etc. It doesn't really matter if his cards are aces or deuces, in a world where bluffing and image mean everything (or almost everything), I immediately gain the upper hand. And he knows it.
The next day I was all deflection. He asked me a question, and I gave him a non-answer and asked him questions back, even for the most meaningless of things. "What did you get for lunch?" "Oh you know, same old. What did you get for lunch?" "What are you working on now?" "Little this, little that. What are you working on?" The terser the answer, the more offputting it is, like someone returning your baseline hits from the net. You pin him there. You want him to know that for every worthless piece of information he may get from you, you are getting twice the value and 10X the number. The bully, now desperate and sensing the shift in power, quickly progressed from "chummy" sideways questions to direct inquiries. "So how did that project turn out yesterday? Did it get approved?" Wouldn't you like to know.
Moral of this story: empaths who complain about sociopaths, who do you think will fight the bullies among you if we're not around? Empaths can be just as horrible (if not more so) than sociopaths, and some of them don't even realize it. If we are all locked up in your dream sociopath gulag, who will protect you from yourselves? We may not be the only ones who can beat you at your own little bully games, but we are certainly the most ruthlessly efficient about it.
Recently I have been exposed to a bully in a work setting. I never had much interaction with this person before, and then only in positive ways, which was why I was so surprised when a coworker of mine confided that this person makes his work life hell. This particular bully doesn't have any real authority. If anything, my coworker friend is the bully's superior, so the bully is always careful to cover any suspicious activity with passive aggressive behavior. The bully also preemptively attacks my friend's character and credibility so when/if my friend ever complains, he's not going to seem credible. This is a classic manipulative tool, making it seem like your target has a personal vendetta against you so when he reacts (seemingly unprovoked), he = crazy and you = victim. (I feel like this is the plot of many a cat/dog fighting antique cartoon. I also feel like sociopath may have been the inventor of the popular myth -- the completely unjustified personal vendetta.)
Before my friend warned me, I was lulled by the bully's seeming good-nature and charms. I disclosed valuable information, like what projects I was involved with, how things were working out, etc. The bully lulled me into a false sense of security by talking about his own personal details -- disappointing children, bumps in the road of life, etc. The bully did not seem like a threat at all, and I started to question my friend's assessment. But the bully quickly showed his true colors -- yelling, screaming, picking on his legitimate inferiors. I suddenly saw so clearly how the bully was targeting me indirectly -- asking me about my current projects because he wanted to help me fail.
As the bully was saying goodnight to everyone, I pulled him aside, put my hand on his shoulder and said, "You know, I have to apologize to you.Ii made a joke this morning that was in poor taste. You asked how everything was going with my new project and I said 'So far so good.' I didn't mean to imply that i wasn't giving the project my full attention and skill. On the contrary, I am 100% dedicated to the success of this project. I think I was just trying to be self-deprecating, but I realize now that the joke fell flat." Such a non sequitor, uncomfortably sincere apology where no apology was expected will always catch the receiving party off-guard. Granted, the apology was really for nothing, it was really more of a brag. All the better. It confuses the receiving party and makes him feel as if you are very sensitive/weak/vulnerable (even though you aren't), and therefore not at all a threat. They suddenly feel as if they too should be apologizing about things, or explaining, or something -- ANYTHING -- just to fill the oppressively awkward silence while you keep staring into their eyes with your hand meaningfully on their shoulder. I stood there and listened to the bully spill. "Well, it's true that the last few people in charge of that project got fired, and I was just thinking, maybe... but maybe you'll be different..." See what has happened here? I have forced my opponent to show his hand. He has acknowledged that he is aware of what my project is (even though he pretended to have no clue the day before), its history, its importance, his obvious interest in it, etc. It doesn't really matter if his cards are aces or deuces, in a world where bluffing and image mean everything (or almost everything), I immediately gain the upper hand. And he knows it.
The next day I was all deflection. He asked me a question, and I gave him a non-answer and asked him questions back, even for the most meaningless of things. "What did you get for lunch?" "Oh you know, same old. What did you get for lunch?" "What are you working on now?" "Little this, little that. What are you working on?" The terser the answer, the more offputting it is, like someone returning your baseline hits from the net. You pin him there. You want him to know that for every worthless piece of information he may get from you, you are getting twice the value and 10X the number. The bully, now desperate and sensing the shift in power, quickly progressed from "chummy" sideways questions to direct inquiries. "So how did that project turn out yesterday? Did it get approved?" Wouldn't you like to know.
Moral of this story: empaths who complain about sociopaths, who do you think will fight the bullies among you if we're not around? Empaths can be just as horrible (if not more so) than sociopaths, and some of them don't even realize it. If we are all locked up in your dream sociopath gulag, who will protect you from yourselves? We may not be the only ones who can beat you at your own little bully games, but we are certainly the most ruthlessly efficient about it.
You also make the most ruthless bullies. In fact, bullies make up a much larger portion of sociopaths than empaths.
ReplyDeleteSo let me get this straight. We're supposed to accept the existence of, say, the 50 most ruthless bullies on earth, in exchange for maybe 3-4 of the most ruthless bully bashers?
If getting rid of bullies were our only goal, wouldn't cold, hard logic dictate that exterminating sociopaths is preferable to keeping them around?
I'm not saying that you or any other sociopath deserve this. I'm replying to the implication that we need sociopaths to control bullies, and nothing else. Please keep that in mind.
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ReplyDeleteWhy were you tricked into complacency in the first place? Seems odd considering you were warned. Back peddling like that makes you seem nervous and fearful. Probably why you were probed more the next day. Only thing you might have gotten upper hand wise was the creepy eye and physical contact. Which I'm sure this person is telling everyone behind your back what a creep you are. Everything is not always what it seems. You probably made yourself more of a target. A challenge even.
ReplyDeleteSociopaths are just like chimpanzees. They think they are not obvious but they are. Everyone is just trying to give them the same courtesy they give everyone else. Pager, Daneil, Jasnowflake, Thunderball and Me all think they are hidden and more intelligent then the sheep around them. That's the key word. They think they are better, doesn't mean that they are. What are you supposed to do with a sociopath at your work? Nothing you can do. They always end up tripping themselves because they see no flaws in their actions. Just like on here. So its better to let them burn themselves out like they always do but always deny. Why else would you have to adapt and change masks all the time? Everyone else seems to get by perfectly fine being who they are. What does that say? Everyone has their flaws. At least the ones who admit it can move onto better things then just petty short term control. If you are such masters of control why are you even here? Daneil seems to be perpetually finding himself. Thunderball and Pager seem to be locked in a battle of who is the baddest online sociopath. Hey guys, who cares? To me you are fake persona one vs fake persona two who sound exactly the same. The more you fight to point out your differences the more you show how similar you are. You are all insane. You do the same thing over and over and expect better results but end up where you started. I know this will fall of deaf ears but I still hope someone will understand.
ReplyDeleteActually rather close to the mark, I wouldn't exactly call a sociopath stable. There's a time limit on what they can do before things start to become noticeable. Especially when you put some of us together, maybe not everyone on this site is one but at least some of us are, it loosens some of the masks because what's the point. We just devolve and it turns in to one big proverbial pissing match "I'm the better sociopath." I however wouldn't draw conclusions from those here that actually post as a imagine there is a far higher percentage of actually sociopaths who just read and don't see the point in engaging
DeleteHow do you disengage an emphatic bully? Apologizing (especially for nothing) doesn't ring true to me -- do these masks cover deep seeded insecurities and paint instead of "evil"? What about acting like the bully doesn't matter and isn't effective?
DeleteAm I the only one who sees the humor in all of this? Haha.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous said, “Daneil seems to be perpetually finding himself.”
ReplyDeleteYou’re right. Well, at least you were. This does characterize my past. What do you suggest?
Surprise me.
Peter Pan said, "Am I the only one who sees the humor in all of this? Haha."
ReplyDeleteNope. It's all starting to sound a tad absurd to me.
Am I the only one who sees the humor in all of this? Haha.
ReplyDeleteHumor! What humor?! This internet is serious business!
Sociopaths exist. That is inarguable. The sociopath is someone, as we know, with a grossly deficient respect for the integrity and boundaries of others; someone who sizes others up principally as assets to be exploited for his or her own whims and needs. The sociopath is a remorseless user and taker.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time, I think it’s worth noting that sociopathy, in general, makes for sensational copy, as a result of which estimations of its incidence in the general population are at risk, I would argue, of being dubiously, irresponsibly inflated.
Martha Stout, for instance, in her formerly bestselling The Sociopath Next Door, an otherwise rather unoriginal (in my view) layman’s introduction to sociopaths, capitalizes and, I suggest, exploits a spicy subject by suggesting that as much as 4% of the general population may meet criteria for sociopathy.
It’s unclear exactly how Stout derives her figure, but it strikes me (at best) as questionable, and more likely, as reckless. Certainly it’s in Stout’s interest, as an author, to sensationalize sociopathy, the better for her book sales. And a good way to do this, indisputably, is to suggest bloated numbers of sociopaths’ existence.
Four percent of the general population? Stout is suggesting that as many as one in 25 people with whom we cross paths may be sociopaths?
Even Robert Hare, Ph.D, the noted psychopathy researcher, estimates that upwards of 1% of the general population meets his very stingent criteria for psychopathy (psychopathy, in Hare’s terms, being synonymous with sociopathy). Compared to Stout’s figure, Hare’s seems much more reasonable. But even 1% strikes me as somewhat high.
These estimates suggest, for instance, that basically at any random gathering—in church, synagogue, a high-school basketball game, or town council meeting, you name it—we are likely to be sitting in proximity to a true sociopath, if not several?
I have seen in my 60 year lifetime, many sociopaths. As I am a deeply caring and loving individual. Which sociopaths hate anyone who deeply feels love and compassion because it shows them up to be the person they truly are BY COMPARISON. Eleminate anything that can make them look bad by comparison because sincerity always shows up phoney. REAL VS.UNREAL, UNLOVING HYPOCRICY!!! "WHITE WASHED GRAVES WHICH INDEED OUTWARDLY APPEAR BEAUTIFUL BUT INSIDE ARE FULL OF DEAD MENS BONES AND OF EVERY SORT OF UNCLEANNESS!"
DeleteIt also suggests that, in the course of a day, or week, we’ll have crossed paths, if not rubbed elbows with, multiple sociopaths? Day after day, week after week, we are consistently crossing paths, if unknowingly, with sociopaths?
ReplyDeleteI struggle with this view, as someone who has clinically worked (and not irregularly, works) with sociopathic individuals.
My own gut, clinical and life experience leaves me suspicious that, as real and mumerically prevalent as sociopaths are, there is one sitting in every classroom on back to school night, and several in attendance at every school play?
As a matter of fact, I think possible exaggerations of the incidence of sociopathy do an injustice to the victims of real sociopaths. Nowadays, it’s common for anyone who deals with an insensitive, manipulative jerk to call that person a sociopath. You hear the label sociopath being permissively applied, in my view, to a wide range of people to whom it doesn’t accurately apply.
There has been a confusing, in my view, of sociopathy with other disorders, like narcissistic and borderline. Within personal relationships acts of aggressiveness, passive-aggressiveness, selfishness and abusiveness are now routinely (and liberally) ascribed to the offending partner’s sociopathy, as if a host of other explanatory sources of these problem-behaviors barely merits consideration.
Some individuals with borderline personality disorder, for instance, are capable of vengeful, cold-blooded behavior when they feel emotionally abandoned. A good example of a film portrayal of a borderline personality is Glenn Close’s performance in Fatal Attraction. Close could easily be misdiagnosed as a sociopath given her demonstated—and sociopathic-like—capacity for chilling, ruthless vengeance. But her desperation, and her rage stemming from her desperation, is a borderline personality tendency that better explains her calculated viciousness.
I’ve worked often with spouses of narcissistic personalities, who feel inordinately entitled to having their sensitivities and demands met. Narcissists will tend to react with an unsavory combination of contempt, rage, passive-aggressive and/or aggressive relatiation when disappointed (which is constantly). Often I’ll hear the spouses of such personalities refer to them as sociopaths, when their partners’ disturbance is more often related to narcissism than sociopathy.
http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/10/09/the-sociopath-next-door-probably-not/
I believe sociopathy is the END RESULTS of a life time of perfecting surface hypocricy. It start out as a Personality Disorder, or even a chemical imbalance such as OCD, BPD, or any other sort of ILLNESS which PD's are truly ones who refuse to accept they have a problem until it controls their life and destroy' others and themselves. Sociopathy is the end results of not having checked and rechecked themselves over time until it is full blown, out of control thinking and ACTIONS that devestate the lives of others. Their selfish interests being number one on their list finally catches up to them. Only difference in the stream of things is the fight is all theirs, and other are just made miserale in the process. I believe a true sociopath/serial bully, just revels in the game of it all, like a junkie getting their fix. All they care about is the high they get from making others miserable and WINNING IN THE END. THIS IS THE TRUE NATURE OF THE BEAST!!! THE OPITOME OF SELFISHNESS!!! THEY ARE ONLY OBLIVIOUS BECAUSE THEY CHOOSE TO BE.
DeleteThe sad part is here in the USA we breed Sociopaths. We are taught to aways look out for #1. If you have a heart and feel and love you are quickly targeted by these bullies and squashed. The only way around it is to be oblivious and hide your head in the sand and pretend this doesn't exist, or become a hermit and seclude yourself totally, or become just like them. and bully others also so you do not get bullied. Become the 2 faced hypocrite they are. Only I havn' figured out yet how do you calous your conscience??? Oh yea, I know......... by continually blaming others for your actions, taking no responsibility for anything ever, always point the finger at others. A life tim of this .......... eventually you reac your goal..... no conscience. A TRUE SOCIOPATH IN THE MAKING. DID I GET IT RIGHT ALL YOU SOCIOPATHS OUT THERE? IS THIS THE FORMULA?
Myth: Women have BPD; men have Antisocial Personality Disorder.
ReplyDeleteReality: Although BPD is diagnosed in women much more frequently, men have it as well.
According to the DSM-IV, about 75 percent of those diagnosed with BPD are women and that most people diagnosed with Anti-social Personality Disorder (APD) are men. But although the personality disorders have some external similarities (i.e., difficulties with relationships, tendencies to blame others), their internal states are strikingly different. Borderlines feel shame, guilt, emotional distress, and emptiness; people with APD generally do not.
So why are more women diagnosed with BPD than men? No one knows, but several theories have arisen.
Theories of why BPD happens more often in women
Sexual abuse, which is common in childhood histories of borderline patients, happens more often to women than men.
Women experience more inconsistent and invalidating messages in this society.
Women are more vulnerable to BPD because they are socialized to be more dependent on others and more sensitive to rejection.
Clinicians are biased. Studies have shown that mental health professionals tend to diagnose BPD more often in women than men, even when patient profiles are identical except for the gender of the patient.
Men seek psychiatric help less often.
Men are more likely to be treated only for their alcoholism or substance abuse; their borderline symptoms go unnoticed because BPD is assumed to be a woman's disorder.
Female borderlines are in the mental health system; male borderlines are in jail.
I wrote a post about this myth of women have BPD, men have ASPD quite some time ago.
DeleteI hate bullies not because of fear, but because of resentment. Not only have I been targeted myself, but I feel that they do not deserve the power they have over other people. I get what little influence I have through painstakingly finding out what people want and expect of me, while bullies merely take a shortcut with violence and threats. My normal way of dealing with them is by derailing them in front of people. This causes them to react and try to take their power back, normally through violence. Since their fighting is based on emotion rather than logic, I take them down and their authority is reduced to null.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how the first anonymous seems to think that sociopaths are the biggest bullies. Any intelligent sociopath should understand that violence and threats are easy, and can backfire horribly if they rely on them. Sociopaths are crowd-pleasers rather than crowd-repressors, bullies make enemies when they gain power, sociopaths make friends.
Why don't you read the "featured comment" on this wonderful blog, and then try to tell me that sociopaths aren't proud bullies.
ReplyDeleteJust as tall athletic men make better basketball players than short fat women, sociopaths make the best (and therefore the most successful) bullies.
ReplyDeleteJust what compels sociopaths to protect empaths? It makes more sense that a sociopath would use an “empathic bully” to eliminate empathic rivals, before eliminating the (if less crafty) bully themselves.
I’ve rarely ever met an empathic bully. Those types have usually suffered from child abuse and/or have narcissistic qualities. The bullies I have known, if their target cannot provide useful grains of information, will simply lie and backstab until something sticks. Or they will try to move the situation to a might = right confrontation if the target is physically weaker. This is why I have trouble with this whole “sociopaths are superior to bullies” thing.
Degree of sociopathy? Just as men are generally taller than females, females are generally more “feeling” than men.
Anonymous said: “My normal way of dealing with them is by derailing them in front of people. This causes them to react and try to take their power back, normally through violence. Since their fighting is based on emotion rather than logic, I take them down and their authority is reduced to null.”
Is this done by calling them outside? Can you give us any details?
I won't waste my breath on the person who thinks sociopaths are animals (Chimps). I'm sure we all know what that would make him/her.
ReplyDeleteME I like the reversal and taking control of the conversation. Questions are the best tool of control.
Anonymous Psychologist, I like your comments. It comes from a very educated standpoint. I also agree with you on Stout. That book was sensationalism at best. It was selling fear to the public which serves the purpose of book sales, rather than education.
I have a question on the bully thing. I noticed most bullies have a low self esteem, which is why they pick on people smaller than them. I for one am extremely opposite. I know I'm amazing. Is there sociopaths on here that have low self esteem? Psychologist: What differences in these types have you seen?
I finally like the direction this site is taking. I might learn something now.
Pager.
ReplyDeleteCare if I weigh in on this too?
There are sociopaths with low selfesteem. They will for instance think they are ugly and disgusting themselves but still think they are ENTITLED to anything they want and need. And sociopath with low self esteem wants and needs a lot.
low selfesteem is about what other ppl think of you i don't care what other ppl think of me
Delete(i realy don't not like a narc that thinks he doesn't care)
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ReplyDelete(Continued)
ReplyDeleteI've run into these people before. I call them foul people, for lack of a medical term.
What makes these people lie so horribly? Why do they lie about stuff they won't get away with? Why does he lie with no clear goal in mind? What other traits do people like this have? He is persuasive like me, but only for the short term, then it fall apart. He clearly has little ability to manipulate, and attaches himself to very weak minded people who will actually fall for his bullshit. The difference between us is I go after stronger people who are more useful and I don't lie out of low self esteem, I lie and manipulate to gain things or protect myself.
I want to know, because I get into a lot of physical fights with people like this once I outsmart them, and they seem to be drawn to me reguardless of the fact that they neither win physically or mentally. Why is this? They seem to make moves that are unwise and wreckless, while I make more planned and calculated moves. Those moves they make force me to make more wreckless moves than I normally would have made in order to counter them.
You (NDP-narcissistic personality disorder) meets him (ASPD-antisocial personality disorder). I'd say off hand you are not a sociopath. I am basing that off what you have written which can't capture a third party perspective. So take it or don't take it as you will.
ReplyDeleteLack of long term planning is usual with a sociopath.
You seem to suffer from NDP and not sociopathology (ASPD) because you:
have a grandiose sense of self importance
require excessive admiration
lack empathy
believe others of envious of you or want to be like you
are arrogant
You don't expose yourself and refused to expose yourself in any way, which shows you probably have a fragile self-esteem and are vulnerable to the slightest criticism. A key trait to the narcissist.
Before you go on the attack, don't. This is just an observation. I could be wrong.
Frankly I wouldn't call anything I am a disorder. I wouldn't expect you to know what I am or my traits from one exchange it would require a lot more conversation than that. However I do appreciate your insight.
ReplyDeleteI have many reasons I dont expose myself none having to do with self esteem. You would be wrong on the critisism point as well. I've wrote things on here having to do with accepting critisism and accountability.
That aside I'm not here to learn about myself. I've got that covered. I'm here to learn about others to help me in my business. You hardly touched on my questions at all. I would appreciate a real answer.
Why would I attack you?
Your clown is a pathological liar, dear windowlicker.
ReplyDeleteThat he always needs to impress implies a strong reward dependence component which is amplified by deep childhood based insecurities, and stupidity. That these types want to physically fight you means he is a likely a Borderline Disordered Personality. Have you ever taken it up the ass?
Pager:
ReplyDeleteYou said:
"Let me ask you some questions since I have you here:"
Hehe. You crack me up. BUT where Pager are YOUR questions? Oh there you go you did an after post with some questions;
First off I cant tell whether the ' clown' is a sociopath or not, but for your story I dont really think it matters to know anyhow...
-What makes these people lie so horribly?
Multiple answers:
*because its their nature to lie whether those lies will get em caught makes no difference, they need to lie because they dont know what they are or should say if they dont. again: their nature. Therapy may or not help, depending on other things. I wont go into the deeper underlying reasons cause Im sure you read some basic psychological works...Or maybe not, you dont strike me as being much of a reader.
*to get what he wants, and that, as you know, can be a whole plethora of thingies ranging from material to immaterial ( small and big ,YOU may not even understand how it would be a reward, therefore you in this case werent capable of reading him well enough).
-Why does he lie with no clear goal in mind (persuasive only for short term)
* Listen, look at yourself for anwers. What did you do in fact. You energy went into getting a ride, fine. You got the ride then you wasted your energy on a complete clown who is likely incapable of fooling the type of person of whom you would actually have something to gain from. You couldnt control yourself to prove he was lying when I doubt he was fooling anyone. for what? Listen, if that was just to piss him off and that gave you a thrill and you were after a thrill that night, thats fine. But werent you after great bigger and whatever terms you used, things? It doesnt help to achieve anything bigger, to go about pressuring weak lost people in the middle of the night. This way youll just use yourself up and I think you very well stand a chance, certainly cause of your drinking, to get physical and some scared person IS gonna call the cops and you will get arrested. Which is no biggie you could say, but again, it wont lead to the things you claim youre after. So far you just seem easily pissed of and reckless. You dont seem to have a clue how to play chess. Which is better for me, I wish for peace and harmony and such and I pity weak people and wouldnt be able to enjoy them hurting at all. You enjoying weak people's suffering is sadistic btw I think it was a question from you from the other thread.
So now that this entire post was dedicated to your topics I only have one question:
-describe what the topic' love' means for/to you. so far your post on the other thread truly didnt even start to answer it. you just say you like to both manipulate ( btw i read that as you feel better when you' share' that, am i correct? if so, how do you see this) just sort of write away about it to make sure i get anything out of it.
I'm not going to answer your question at all disney, because you haven't answered mine at all. You were no help. In fact, our homophobic friend had more insight than yourself.
ReplyDeleteI've read alot Im a history buff. I'm big on sociolagy, history, and psychology. My spelling doesn't reflect that I'm sure you've noticed, but this is amerikkka. Land of the undereducated and over imprisoned.
Again. I'm not asking about my motives or tendencies. I know what my motives and tendencies are, My motives for going to his house was for me and my girl to be sober so I could safely get home. That is plain and simple.
Why does he lie with no clear goal in mind? You say look to yourself for answers. I don't make easily breakable lies with no goal for the lie. Most people believe me lie or not, because I'm a great liar. I dont make impossible claims.
I don't care about being arrested behind fight. I have greater things to worry about. I don't have te luxury of peace and harmony. that you have, though I wish I did.
I wanted to ask you about this guy, Disney, not myself. Give me my answe r and I will give you urs.Your view on myself, Daniel, and others on this site is jaded at best. If you want more candor I suggest being less judgemental and to stop holding peoples values to your own. Isn't that empathy?
Pager said, “Frankly I wouldn't call anything I am a disorder.”
ReplyDeleteI like your attitude.
Your view on myself, Daniel, and others on this site is jaded at best. If you want more candor I suggest being less judgemental and to stop holding peoples values to your own. Isn't that empathy?
Zackley. If Disney wanted candor she might want to start by being honest with herself.
I’m curious though. Out of all the things you could have said about ‘Merrika, you chose this:
this is amerikkka. Land of the undereducated and over imprisoned.
Why mention the ‘over imprisonment’ issue?
Disclaimer: Just so we’re clear, I’m not asking you to reveal anything you don’t want to. I don't know if you can tell by the other things I've said here, but I don’t comment on this site to play psychological games with other commenters. It’s just not my cup of tea.
Disney=Troll
ReplyDeleteWalt Disney was a sociopath. Research it if you don’t believe me. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteHow did this thread go from ruining bullies to patronizing windowlickers?
Pager
ReplyDeleteI suggest you continue going round in circles like you were doing before I came here.
Have a good one.
Go live your fantasy life Disney. Your name sure fits. Next time you come on this site give something instead of taking. It's ironic that you would have to hear that from a sociopath. You are a hypocrite.
ReplyDeleteYou therapists are the same. The minute we start trying to improve ourselves you get scared that we are trying to manipulate you, and run for cover. Go 'cover your vagina', as you like to say. Maybe you should go blow your head off like the rest of them do.
Evil you, sir, are boring whether or not you change your name from thunderball. You bored me before when you started calling me back the same name I gave you: windowlicker. Come up with your own shit. You need a new name to fuck up I thought furball would be of use.
pager
ReplyDeleteall you ever get to do on this planet is be angry.
im not a therapist btw you mastermind you.
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete"You don't expose yourself and refused to expose yourself in any way, which shows you probably have a fragile self-esteem and are vulnerable to the slightest criticism. A key trait to the narcissist."
ReplyDeleteThat's the dumbest thing I think you said. Sociopaths on this site don't expose themselves when they ARE secure with themselves. We don't have to vent our souls on this stupid site to feel better about ourselves, and we know not to post too much truth about ourselves because it can be used against us. The lack of a need to disclose fully to others is a need for acceptance. Being secretive is not being insecure with oneself, but it is not seeking approval from others to find security.
I think you sound completely confused with all of your prejudgements on this subject. For example, I think the master manipulator sounds like a sociopath, and the pathological liar sounds like an insane narcissistic borderline personality. The need he exhibited for attention at all times by always trying to up the lie show that he feels threatened, and that Pager's confidence is what draws out the violence. Have you people not seen this yourselves? Like dogs, it all ends up a pissing contest when a man feels like he's inferior to his company. I think the question here is why is a pathological liar so willing to lie to his detriment, and just how dangerous does that make them? What are other characteristics of these people who carry implications of desperation in their actions. Desperation makes people dangerous, as cowards when cornered. You can't put anything past these people, so what types of things are they heard having done? For example, would this liar have started a fight with Pager to impress his girl, or to hold to his lies, or is cowardice a characteristic of this personality type.
I've met these pathological liar types. the ones I know will lie to themselves, and a bit less blatantly, and were actually very dangerous to myself. I ended up believing a lot of stuff that got me into a bit of trouble. How do you detect these people who convince themselves they mean no harm?
Disney, I was originally excited as to your arrival because you have education to offer, but alas, you're too defensive and judgemental to gain anything from. You have deep seeded biases from your experiences or from your education, and you seem very much nopt to understand the sociopath as you say you do. You list traits and build preconceptions that help none of us to further our understanding of psychology. What a disappointment you've been. An onslaught of ill placed insults, showing your inferiority or your overdefensiveness. We have no malicious intentions for you, so lower your guard a bit.
ReplyDeleteYou don't seem to understand that the sociopath is not the devil. We're just different. If your goal here is to try to understand, you approached it in a very very unproductive way. I doubt any of us are inclined to like you enough to talk to you about your questions. And we probably had much insight into sociopath love and relationships, but so it goes.
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ReplyDeleteMy bad Peter. You were under contract by Disney during the coupe in never never land, so technically you are a mercenary at best.
ReplyDeleteI think Disney was in a relationship with a sociopath. I change my stance on her. She came in here trying to act objective, but her resentment showed through. She's not a troll. I don't know if you read her previous postings in 'How to read people like a sociopath', but she tried to play some doe in the woods act with Daniel to learn bout how he thinks. That 'I just want to hug you' shit doesn't work with me bitch.
My question is still left without any satisfactory answer. Anyone want to take a swing?
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ReplyDeleteI appreciate the insight Peter. Finally someone with a brain.
ReplyDeleteI think everybody has been working hard here and deserve a small gem:
ReplyDelete"Perhaps if the future existed, concretely and individually, as something that could be discerned by a better brain, the past would not be so seductive: its demands would be balanced by those of the future. Persons might then straddle the middle stretch of the seesaw considering this or that object. But the future has no such reality (as the pictured past and the perceived present); the future is but a figure of speech, a specter of thought. A thin veneer of immediate reality is spread over natural and artificial matter, and whoever wishes to remain in the now, with the now, on the now, should please not break its tension film. Otherwise the inexperienced miracle worker will find himself not walking on water but descending upright among staring fish"
You are very welcome.
Peter Pan, you have a good profile of the liar, so far. Is there a way to distinguish these attention seekers early? Is there a major difference between liars and just normal people early in conversation? Mannerisms?
ReplyDeletePersonally with these personality types I notice so far a smugness in the way they turn their chin after sentences about themself, or an impressive fact or story. As if they're trying to shrug something off as not being a big deal, but it's really a manipulation tactic for more attention and to obtain a certain amount of awe. Do people who are just arrogant possess this trait, or is it distinct to someone putting on a facade. As sociopaths IO know you all are intuitive, so has anyone else noticed perhaps similar patterns or mannerisms?
Yeah. Ever see someone "stick their neck out" for someone? There's a reason for those expressions.
DeleteWith them it's "taking it on the chin". Showing fake bravery, maybe?
from google:
1. to be brave and not to complain when bad things happen to you or people criticize you Atkinson took it all on the chin, though some members of his team were very upset by the criticism they received.
2. to have a lot of bad things happen to you or to be criticized a lot The company has been taking it on the chin in recent months, but the future looks much brighter now and their sales are picking up.
Also:
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/take+it+on+the+chin
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ReplyDeleteYou are all abysmal and ignorent. You vomit ignorant memes, define yourself on pop psychology and to top if off, deny it. All the while...
ReplyDeleteThe wheels on the asylum bus go round and round, round and round, round and round
The wheels on the asylum bus go round and round, all through the town.
The horn on the asylum bus goes beep beep beep...
The wipers on the asylum bus go swish, swish, swish...
The bipolar on the asylum bus go up and down...
The blorderline on the asylum bus go waa, waa, waa waa...
The narcissists on the asylum bus go sh sh sh...
This is as close to a mental instituation with no warden that you see.
You sound like you need to be on that bus.
ReplyDeleteEvil you, sir, are boring whether or not you change your name from thunderball.
ReplyDeleteI'm not, Evil.
But hey anonymous, you know what they say: "Ignorence" is bliss. Oh, and,sorry for the "ignorant memes". My stomach was sore, so I guess I vomitted them all up on you. Mexican food, too. I hope you can enjoy your visit to the "instituation" nonetheless.
ReplyDeleteThunderballs said:
ReplyDelete"I'm not, Evil."
Is bullying, evil? Is physically confronting bullies, good?
I am simply attempting to salvage this thread from windowlicker/furball.
The author is so obviously not a sociopath. God knows what he actually is....sure, a lot of us are on the spectrum. But, sociopaths don't go round picking on the bullies, they are the bullies.
ReplyDeleteI was just reading back through older posts, and this one triggered some recognition for me and also an early memory.
ReplyDeleteI identify bullies very quickly, and will disarm or deflect them away from people. I think I do it because I see the bully as not deserving the power/pleasure they're getting, because they're not as great as they think they are, and I decide to do something to demonstrate that.
The early memory is from when I was at school, aged maybe 5. I was one of the youngest in the class, joining much later in the school year than my peers. There was a playground bully who was basically a thug, twice the size of everyone else and with apparently no boundaries - violent, unemotional and cold.
I managed to passively push him into a confrontation, then refused to back down. It was trivial, over a toy or something, but he couldn't accept being defied by me. Ten minutes later he came back and pushed a drawing pin into my arm - barely scratched me, but I gave the performance of a lifetime and he was forcibly removed from school that day, never to return.
First
ReplyDeleteM.E. I really enjoy and appreciate these little windows into your war exploits. I feel like a little child sitting at the feet of the master. I learned a couple things here and I love how you show how sociopaths can use their inclinations for such fun. In this article you seem to be acting like the white blood cell of your employer, rather than the disease like I normally am. I think in this you show more control and power.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome anon. We aim to please.
DeleteWell hello CEO. Meoweeowza you sound like a silver fox!
DeleteGold digger.
DeleteTrying to contaminate the pristine halls of sw with the sleazy reputation of your personal household is in poor taste, Madam.
DeleteYour habits of projecting are becoming quite tiresome.
Monica, do you hit on yourself with alternate persons? Why is that?
DeleteWho do you think I am, Kany?
Deletethat's hot
ReplyDeletesocially acceptable targets
ReplyDeletebullies check
narcs check
bosses check
Interesting ME. If someone bullies, just to be a big shot, he is a weak,sniveling person. I have no respect for bullies.
ReplyDeleteNot sure I go this route. In school I did target bullies only becuase no one seemed to care when they got hurt or something bad happen to them. I can't say I ever did for anyone else; just saw opportuniy and took it. Actually, I can now see where I have been a bully in the past; much more subtle and much more passive aggresive, but my motives sometimes have been right online with the bully mentality.
ReplyDelete(Mrs. Kany; if you come back I'll answer your question from last night concerning the love for my wife. This place got so boring last night I just passed out. Dr. Appointment early this morning so I will be back)
DeleteGungy
DeleteThat "person" going wild, in my name, yesterday, was not me. I try to carry myself like a Born Again Christian, not that I am perfect, which I am not, so don't anyone go there.
Don't worry, Monica. The important folk upstairs know you're a clean lady, just a little touched.
DeleteCEO
DeleteThat was so sweet. I am gonna take that with me, today.
Gungy, is it bullyish to invite your boyfriend's slutty one night stand in for tea, then calmly blindside her with your knowledge of their escapade and tell her It's ok she can have him, but not sure if he actually likes the girls he just fucks?
DeleteYou're welcome, Monica. Just know, I'm a professional. That being said, Zoe and I are talking shop on the roof over cocktails tonight. She'd like you to join. So would I.
DeleteAww CEO
DeleteI'm touched and not in the mental way xx
Please Monica. Enough of the touching of my lapels on the floor.
DeleteOK lol
DeleteYou are beneath contempt. You make white trailer trash look like class. Do not interact with me in any manner or I will retaliate, you malignant narcissist.
DeleteIs that a threat or a promise :P
DeleteAnon 4:28AM. not to me... that's classic. Style and grace. Not to mention quite humerous. A bully though?
DeleteMonica, I am uncertain of any persona on here. I'll take it that you are what you say you are and that the cirucmstances yesterday were not to your doing. It didn't really bother me other than whoever's psychotic ramblings those might have been stirred away from my two reason for being here: to have meaningful conversations about a very possible disorder i could have, or to simply puch peoples buttons and have some fun... can't do either with just one person playing as if they are five, all talking to each other and not you. Being laid up with a bum leg, yesterday sucked!
DeleteI think its interesting that you need to announce what youre doing here everyday.
DeleteGlad you're interested.
Deletelol
DeleteWhy do I have to be here for you to answer my questions. Delayed gratification?
DeleteNo, I just thought it good social etiquette and it was your question. No one else has shown interest in the question and I hate wasted energy. You still interested?
DeleteYes, and I come here regularly so feel free to leave messages is my box. I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
DeleteBeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Nice.
Delete(Mrs. Kany; if you come back I'll answer your question from last night concerning the love for my wife. This place got so boring last night I just passed out. Dr. Appointment early this morning so I will be back)
DeleteSo far this seems to be a lie. But you're welcome to elaborate.
We share a hate and repulsion for the mob (irrational, emotional group think)
ReplyDeleteIt's never irrational to take out someone who's sabotaging the viability of a long term investment or causing indictments.
DeleteI can see that point of view. Justifiable extermination of an infestation or cancer; nice.
DeleteKany
ReplyDeleteYou have said some valuable things to me, but I was too defensive to hear.
I could, only, see you as trying to hurt me. I could not see you outside of that box, where I had to put up my fists to my face, to protect myself.
Monica, is that you adjusting your paranoia, ie: taking off a teensy bit of it just in order to absorb the useful info, but also keeping the cunt at an reasonable emotional distance?
DeleteYES
DeleteThis is sort of Zoe's style. Drain the good stuff, leave the junk in the sewer.
DeleteI suppose that may be the definition of good mental health Anon.
DeleteMonica, I'm shocked. I didn't think you'd ever acknowledge your defensiveness to real insight.
DeleteWhat did you find valuable so I know where we stand?
Well, I have a friend from SW who has come into my real life. I trust her. I told her to tell me straight about myself. She told me things which have really helped me. I, actually, feel really good. I feel happy and I have hope.
DeleteI can't put into words what I want to say to you, right now. I will later.
DeleteI am looking to find my personal power. I wanted to write something to UKan, which relates.
DeleteIt is this. You can't get your personal power on the backs of others. Even if it was not being a cowardly bully, it won't work.
A truly strong person has his own power, by virtue of his relationship with himself. He respects himself. Rolling over others won't bring this personal sense of self respect.
Sigh. Back to the drawing board.
DeleteWhy Kany?
DeleteKany
DeleteLets start new, as there is no way to make sense of our past with both people throwing barbs. What do you have to say about my above post, in words, not sighs and other intelligible meanderings?
You're still reciting the same information. You haven't said anything you've learned from your own perspective so I'll try to get through to you again, perhaps in a different way now.
Delete" While they seem to lack any motivation to be good, they intensely desire to appear good. Their "goodness" is all on a level of pretense. It is, in effect, a lie. That is why they are the "people of the lie". The wickedness of the evil is not committed directly, but indirectly as a part of this cover-up process. "
ReplyDeleteThe first sentence I can very much relate to. I don't really want to be "good"; I don't care, but I do want you to BELEIVE I am "good".
DeleteWho doesn't?
DeleteWho doesn't what? relate to the first scentence? doesn't want to be "good"? or just wants everyone to think their good?
DeleteYes.
DeleteYes to all I take it. Well, in that case, most people I know keep telling me they want to be good people and try hard everyday, not just want people to think them good.
Delete" Since the evil, deep down, feel themselves to be faultless, it is inevitable that when they are in conflict with the world they will invariably perceive the conflict as the world's fault. Since they must deny their own badness, they must perceive others as bad."
ReplyDeleteThis is truer of "good" people than it is of "bad"
DeleteTheme for Medusa <3
ReplyDeleteI'm a twitter star:-)
ReplyDeleteTheme Song for Mee number 3
ReplyDeleteI see him as more of a yapping chihuahua trying to bite the ankles of people that don't pay attention to him and tell him that he's a big, brave German shepherd.
DeleteIs it possible that seeing yourself as the bully's bully is a glimpse into a sense of "wanting" to be good? if so what does that say?
ReplyDeleteI quite like this post.
ReplyDeleteI think it's silly to say that sociopaths will rush to the defense of empaths to stop the bully's. Or be the one defending the empaths from the bullies. You weren't doing it to defend your friends, you were doing it to prove you had the upper hand on this guy. It was a game.
Knowing that I'm Borderline you'd probably think I was an easy target for bullies. I guess I'm an empath, at least I am at times. If someone tries to bully me, manipulate me (and I'm not absolutely in love/obsession with them) there isn't a chance in hell they'll get away with it. I tend to do something that they don't expect; call them out on their bullshit directly and to their face in just about the most polite way possible.
I'm not sure if people can manipulate you because they're just that good at it, or if on some level you let them. If you keep your eyes open, check your facts, and cover your own ass it's hard to be taken advantage off. Not impossible, but harder.
You seem strong like that, Haven.
DeleteOK... thanks for bringing the empath thing up, Haven. Could some one try an explain this to me. WTF is an "empath"? What do they do? And why does it seem people refer to them as almost polar opposites of a sociopath?
DeleteI don't think I had heard the word before. I know the definition of empathy, it's this "empath" that I'm not getting.
And while I'm waiting for someone to be so polite as to assist with the reference of empath; Haven, after "It was a game", you lost me in you post. What's the take away; you are one bad-ass-part-time-empth-who-can't-be-manipulated?
Deletean empath has empathy. I think that is all it is.
DeleteThank you. But there has to be more; I was under the impression one trait of the sociopath was the in ability to empathize. So, if to have empathy means everyone who isn't a psycho is an empath. Is that right?
DeleteEmpathy is being able to put yourself in someone's shoes, as you can identify, in yourself, what they are experiencing. All PD's have a diminution of empathy. There is a spectrum of empathy from great empathy to little or no empathy.
DeleteMuch thanks. It's the whole empathy/sympathy thing that I think is getting me.
DeleteYou have to have empathy, first, before you can have sympathy, I think. Perhaps, they are the same thing. I am not sure, but I think I explained empathy in an accurate way.
DeleteOver here in SW world we like to break the world into Sociopaths (Non-empaths) and non-Sociopaths (Empaths). One of the defining features of ASPD is an impaired sense of empathy where empathy is "normal" for most people. It's really not that complicated around here.
DeleteAs for the rest it was just where my thought process went. ME implied that sociopaths were the defenders against bullies b/c so many empaths couldn't do it themselves. I have a personality disorder that most people would consider easy to bully. I was providing a counterpoint to the one ME made.
Then I completely agree with the first part of your post. And, you are one bad-ass-part-time-empth-who-can't-be-manipulated?
DeleteGungy you couldn't manipulate a whore with a hundred spot.
DeleteNow that there is funny! Coming from the guy I can get to bark at just about any stupid thing I say! LOL!
DeleteBut seriously, since you seem to like to fish to... keep throwing your lines and baiting me UKan, let's see what happens and if you truly are as big a boy as you and Kany think you to be. So, far I have seen you as a blowhard with very little substance, BUT...
I hear your a drug dealer or is that just the ramblings of yet another wild multi personality disorder (or someone trying to appear to have one)? I ask that not as a barb or insult or jibe in any way at all. I find drug dealers interesting, if that is their only source of income. I mean, petty dealers working part time at BK not so much, but real hustlers... I'm interested. So, you a drug dealer?
And, to Mrs. Kany (you two really married?) thanks your getting everyone together and worlking on those topics for me, but you really don't have to. I throw out topics (none of which really are addressed to anyone persona here), those topics will work. I mean, if that's OK?
Lastly, UKan: I always get what I want... or quit playing... or I break shit. I would advise you not to let me envision you (Ukan B Smart) as shit; you might get broken.
DeleteYou always get what you want... except when you don't. And you have to warn us because you break your toys... way to get the respect you deserve. You couldn't put things better.
DeleteWho said I deserve respect? (Although, since you mentioned it...) As for breaking shit, that only occurs to the people who have gotten to the point on my scale that I couldn't care less what they think of me to begin with; so respect? No, when the time comes that violence occurs, it's usually fear that I want from someone. But fear does take a little intelligence. If the situation has not gotten to the point of investment that I might want to break things, I also said, I just quit. Just being honest UKany, can you be honest?
DeleteAre you interested in the love for my wife or not?
How very Demonic.~
DeleteI am, but I'm beginning to sense deflection.
DeleteARRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fucking fuck.
ReplyDeleteMy father has been "on vacation" and visiting with us for a couple of weeks, and I'm going to pop a gasket soon. While I am trying very hard to be a respectful daughter by honouring him, he makes it *very* difficult, because I am a constant target for his moody ire. Of course, I can't just shut the fuck up, so we have been bickering constantly.
God knows I love the man dearly, and I understand that certain things will never change (the man is a burnt-out psycho in his seventies) and I accept that- but I can only take him in limited doses!!!!!!!!
Ok, I feel slightly less angry, so I guess that's the end of my little tirade. :P
You should post more, Alter. It is not the same without you.
DeleteShut up Monica.
DeleteYou keep saying that you love your father, when it is clear that you hate his guts. And why wouldn't you? I say embrace it...
DeleteWhy do you think it's clear that I hate his guts? I do love him, but I often dislike his behaviour; I can distinguish between the two.
DeleteI always call him on his bullshit, so we fight, but if I were to shut up, I would end up resenting him even more.
I don't hate anyone. I understand why my dad became the person he is, but I love him anyway.
Well, the day culminated in his taking off in a fit of rage, although nobody can fathom why. I think it is because we refused to let him have his way about a few things. Too bad; I won't cater to that bullshit.
DeleteWhen he's ready to apologize, we'll talk. For now, good riddance.
... And I've spouted enough emo crap for one day. Time to tie one on. Cheers sw.
DeleteYou're nothing close to as strong as your father was.
DeleteIn some ways, that's true.
DeleteMy dad's a pain in the ass, but he's alright. I'm proud of him. :)
Not sure why the first set of comments go back to 2009 but what is striking is how much better the quality was back then.
ReplyDeleteYes they were. It seems as though the people on this post liked to discuss things rather than attack each other's personal "web" image. I'm hoping that maybe, just maybe this ship will get back on course.
DeleteYou do really? Didn't you say you were only here temporarily while you have a broken leg or whatever?
DeleteIt was never on course to begin with.
DeleteAbsolutely do want good discussions for the short duration. That's why I'm here.
DeleteMaybe, you just might stay when your leg heals!
DeleteSuppose anything is possible.
DeleteWe might grow on you like fungus.
DeleteYou don't get what you want here. You get what we want.
DeleteWe'll get together and confer on how best we can entertain you to make you stay. We've been collaborating on wat we believe you consider meaningful conversation, and we'll throw some topics at you asap.
DeleteOr, you know, you could start a discussion instead of bitching about the lack of discussion. All I've seen from you is essays on how broken your leg is and what an awakening labeling yourself a sociopath has been.
DeleteI beg to differ Postmodern, I believe I have posted numerous responses to the subject of the day that were relevant only to have some individuals turn the topic to some un-concluded argument between themselves, or just start calling me names such as "idiot" for no apparent reason other than to fish for a bite from me. Since my situation has me stuck pretty much in one place, I oblige out of boredom most times. As far as labeling myself... I haven't done that. quite the opposite, I have said I don't know what the hell I am. But I do know who I have been, what I have done, and my life long MO. I'll let you freaks pass judgement and decide what you like. I've noticed more than one in here as created their own reality anyways.
DeleteI thought you said you came here with the epiphany of your sociopathy to guide you. But now you reject that label. That's interesting, too. How often do you change your history?
DeleteWhat I said was I had an epiphany as to who I really am, what kind of person I have really been. As to whether that person is a sociopath I have only said it seems "very possible". Go back. CIOB. I promise you I have never claimed a label or put a label on any of you; other than a little juvenile name calling back from time to time. As to my history? I haven't really given you any of that yet know have I?
DeleteIts so cute that you're mysterious. Shrowd in illusion and elusiveness.
DeleteThe current thrust in Psychology( or an emerging field) is the heal "by doing". Primal Therapy was the father of this, one could say.
ReplyDeleteGestalt Therapy is the same. You experience yourself in various situations. Sooner or later, your old locked in behavior will not work. You can let it go, as a caterpillar to butterfly. However, there is a very big glitch in the bridge from the caterpillar to the butterfly.
There is an impasse which is very hard to navigate. You have to free fall and someone has to catch you, in my opinion and experience.
In the space between the two states, you don't know who you are. You become amorphous, in a way. You dissolve. If no one catches you, you will go back to your old locked in way.
The person catching you is a mentor, in the true sense of the word. They don't have to be a professional and I think it is better, if they are not.
They have to love you in that moment that you can't love yourself. With that love, you can have a paradigm shift.
OK, I've read this thing a few times in the last couple hours trying to wrap my head around it; then I read it again "How To Heal a PD"... that would infer a sickness or ailment is present.
Deletemonica is cannot help that she is retarded
DeleteI do/don't like Me's approach. I also target bullies. But reforming your original statement seems transparent. Your response "So far so good" already seemed irritatingly weak. I respect that the reformed comment was confusing/intimidating, but wouldn't that give the bully an opportunity to exploit/misinterpret your words? I understand trapping the trapper, but, aren't there more subtle ways to lure a bully? Ways that can't be used against you later. Why not take special interest in his project?? Ask lots of specific questions. That should be enough to trigger the paranoid mind of a bully. They will get defensive and target you when, all you were doing was seeming interested! Then you can guide them to the things you want targeted. Poof! Set up!
ReplyDeleteChoose one. Be decisive. It isn't and/or. Its one or the other.
DeleteI see your point. Hopefully it was evident by the way I broke it down that there were both good and bad to it. Mr. Kany, I can't take anything as a package deal. Its for complication, not for lack of decisiveness. Think of it as customizing.
Delete*Excuse me. Mrs. Kany!
DeleteI like sparring with bullies. It allows me to offload aggression and engage in stimulating debate without violating my personal principles. I thrive in hostile environments. :P
ReplyDeleteHI,IT SEEMS TO ME that the posters have replaced words for deeds,and one word describes every thought that you have ever had ,and will ever have is vanity......NOT MUCH SUBSTANCE......such a pity...You want power to change your life??????sign up at the Humane Society,you pathetic souls,learn form the animals the power of humility,or are you too important??????????? Signed Butterscotch....
Deletesince you seem to be against bullying, i have something to warn you about. some jerkass whose username is Mindstamina supports bullying. if you want proof or that and how he or she (most likely, he) supports bullying, you can go to this website and see what he posted:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.sportsgrid.com/media/casey-the-punisher-new-info-about-casey-heynes-and-his-bully-emerges/
since you're a bully hater who trolls the web all the time like the time like he claimed, why don't you go to that site and troll Mindstamina.
i'm back again. and this time, i've returned to warn you about some bully-supporting dickhead who's against bullying thanks to this fucked up clip that he made:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-_XP3v87L0
because you seem to hate bullies so much, i ask that you get back at the guy who made that clip.
just thought that i'd tell you of some lying asswipe who's called Nooby4321 in this website:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yh6W0xceEvM
i'm tellin' you about that dumb-ass 'cuz he's against people who are against cyberbullying. if you ask me, he should go fuck himself.
since you bitched about bullies, i suggest that you troll that retard.
You know what? You can spam this blog all you want. Besides, the one who made it a hypocrite in that he whined about bullying when he's a bully himself. After all, sociopaths are bullies,
ReplyDeletehi there. it's me again. and i returned to inform you of some dumb-ass who called anti-bullying bullshit in this website:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/1e1i42/tired_of_this_bullying_bullshit/
i forgot the name of that faggot. but what he posted is a big fat lie. it seems to me that he's as delusional as hell.
i forgot what the name of that prick is. but since you seem to be against bullying, i suggest that you troll the shit out of that fucktard.
here i am again. and i'm back to warn you of some hypocritical douche who whined about evil and sociopaths in this website that he made:
ReplyDeletehttp://theredslost.blogspot.com/
that bastard's name is Buck Wild. and how he's hypocritical is that he bitched like hell about all the evil in the world but doesn't do anything about it because he seems to contribute to it. plus, he became the very kind of being he claimed to hate: an evil person.
because of that Buck's bullshit, i suggest that you go to his site and troll the shit out of him. it's what he deserves for being a hypocrite.
Hmm people who talk about things that happened to them in life aren't bullies. People sometimes just need someone to talk to.
ReplyDeleteIf someone from your past who hurt you physically or psychologically but plays stupid and pretends it never happened should be reminded.
It's almost as bad as Gangstalking.