(Cont.)
Also, you have to be more careful about your identity and your child's identity.Ddo not leave an electronic trail of anything, even for something like this. I am not the type of person who would abuse any knowledge I have of your identity because I simply don't care. But! Some day someone will care, whether it is a future employer for your child, a college admissions office, whatever. You don't want anything to be able to be traced back to him or her. Because once things are out there on the internet, they are there forever. Get a separate e-mail account for anything like this, keep your online presence to a minimum, never let pictures or any information about your child get online. I know people are pretty reckless about privacy nowadays, but this is very important.
You have to get more savvy if you are going to raise a sociopath. Sociopaths are sneaky and will try to get away with everything. Plus you have to protect your child from the world that wants to hate him or her. You have to learn how to think 2-3 steps ahead, always. Have back up plans. Have ready made excuses. Do not get upset about things in front of your child or strangers. Keep a level head. Always give at least the illusion of control, and bolster that illusion by actually maintaining a high degree of control over yourself -- but not over your the child. Your child must not ever think he or she is in a power struggle with you because you will become just an obstacle to eliminate.
Hmm, okay. That's probably enough to think about for now. More to come, I guess. Or if you have any specific questions, let me know. But these are basic things that you should be doing or should stop doing right away.
Good post M.E., but the parent isn't a sociopath. Ordinary people have trouble keeping a "level head" and don't think several steps ahead, or at least, not in a logical manner. You are trying to train a monkey to wear clothes, essentially.
ReplyDeleteI've heard a theory that with empathy, fifty percent is inherent and fifty percent is learned- one of those nature & nurture things is apposed to nature v. nurture.
ReplyDeleteIf this is the case, then it seems to me that allot of psychologists are right is saying the earlier a socipath is diagnosed, the earlier people will be able to help them learn some empathy. Also, while it would admittedly suck if the child was judged because of the school, for the safety of the other children, it does seem as if some warning might be necessary. At least a report to the school shrink. A young child without any inherent empathy wouldn't exactly be the safest thing, you have to admit. Empath children hurt each other enough when they're young already.
... and to the comment above mine, it is possible for empaths to keep a level head. ^_^' Difficult at times, but then, it's also difficult for sociopaths. Based on many news reports, a little more so. Not to judge the entire demographic, of course, but the difference would seem to be that the mother would be upset about the child... and the sociopath would be upset about not being viewed as super-special-awesome. There really wouldn't be much difference at all, if you think about it.
"you have to learn how to think 2-3 steps ahead, always. have back up plans. have ready made excuses. do not get upset about things in front of your child or strangers. keep a level head. always give at least the illusion of control, and bolster that illusion by actually maintaining a high degree of control over you (not the child, the child must not ever think he or she is in a power struggle with you because you will become just an obstacle to eliminate)."
ReplyDeleteVery interesting! I have tried to think steps ahead....and Im always found to actually be 3 behind, because the child has still seen my angle coming. I have learned that keeping calm is the best way to deal with it, and show little emotion. Because, I dont want to be 'eliminated' Consequences are given. Privlidge revoked. Once he's finished the consequences and earned privlidge back....He's right back at it again! Im trying my best, to get him to realize that there is always a consequence. I just dont think he cares, or he cant care.
He's fun most other times when he's not trying to eliminate you!
These directions are excellent. If only my parents had read this...
ReplyDeleteEliminate is right, my kid has tried to eliminate me in several ways including via child protective services. This morning, I pretty much gave up. After just having a talk about an inappropriate text (about me) she had sent to a friend she came to talk me into giving her a ride to school. So, I flat out asked her, "Why should I invest myself in you? Is it ever going to pay off? Are you ever going to change?" AND SHE SMILED! I wanted to slam the door in her face!
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