Sociopaths make friends

“We turned over the book together, and I endeavored to explain to him the purpose of the printing, and the meaning of a few pictures that were in it. Thus I soon engaged his interest; and from that we went to jabbering the best we could about the various outer sights to be seen in this famous town. Soon I proposed a social smoke; and producing his pouch and tomahawk, he quietly offered me a puff. And then we sat exchanging puffs from that wild pipe of his and keeping it regularly passing between us.

“If there yet lurked any ice of indifference towards me in the Pagan’s breast, this pleasant, genial smoke we had, soon thawed it out, and left us cronies. He seemed to take to me quite as naturally and unbiddenly as I to him; and when our smoke was over, he pressed his forehead against mine, clasped me around the waist, and said that henceforth we were married; meaning in the country’s phrase, that we were bosom friends; he would gladly die for me, if need should be. In a countryman, this sudden flame of friendship would have seemed far too premature, a thing to be much distrusted; but in the simple savage those old rules would not apply.”

-- from Melville's Moby Dick

I meet people every day who trust me from our first conversation forward. In the city, I meet three people a night on average who subject themselves to my whims with an enthusiasm unimaginable to me. This naivete and silliness, for obvious reasons, boosts my ego and sense of superiority. Not only does these people’s trust allow me complete control over them, but it destroys my respect for them and ironically makes it so that I would never really consider these people "friends." They have no idea what they might possibly subject themselves to when they hand a sociopath that kind of power over them. When empaths beg so hard to be used, how can anyone really resist?

And honestly, I will admit that I do resist. Not all of these people are useful anyways, so naturally you don’t always use them, but it isn’t because it’d be a difficult thing to do, I assure you. And when usefulness presents itself, I take it. Imagine salesmen put into this position. How many salesman have you put in this position of absolute trust because of a feeling you have that you can trust them? How many things have you easily been swayed and guided to buy because you felt a certain trust toward someone whose intention is to somehow gain a commission from you? Even in shopping malls, you’ve upgraded to certain cell phones because of the notable advantages of the more expensive model.

The cultural difference between savage and sophisticated in the passage from Moby Dick above can easily be used as a metaphor for the comparison of acting rationally versus acting emotionally, so for the sake of argument we’ll utilize such an advantageous comparison. Quequeg, the savage, illustrates a naivete to “the system” caused by his emotional dictation of his actions. He acts on a “gut feeling” when he accepts the author so willingly, having only known him for a day. The author’s thoughts preceding this are known, and show an indifference toward the savage, but also a civility, which was mistranslated by Quequeg’s emotions. Quequeg, following this new bond, proceeds to give the author half of his money and an embalmed head (one of his treasured possessions). The author even tries not to accept the gifts, but Quequeg forces them on him. Another beautiful illustration of empathic emotions making people do dumb things by refusing to consider logic. And again the idea of superiority is obviously pushed upon the functioning logical person because he's the one able to see such detrimental behavior for what it is.

If empaths could see their actions as being to their detriment, the idea of superiority would not come into play. But the sociopath seems isolated in his comprehension. In the above example, the characters struggle with language barriers and cultural differences, so the savage obviously hardly understands the man’s minute efforts to help him, and he translates them to friendship automatically. What sociopath has been offered such unconditional friendship to a smaller degree? And when having such opportunities consistently thrust upon you by people you do not respect, how do you continue to deny the uses these people present? The sociopath can hardly help who they are when people are so willing to subject themselves to their whims.