A reader asks: "Do sociopaths feel lonely? Sure, you can make yourself loved and adored by all, you have that brilliant gift. But what does it all feel like when that is stripped away? And also, is it common to have just a couple of close friends who know you as well as you can be known, and then just hundreds of people who barely know you at all?" My response:Karl Marx says that religion is the opiate of the masses. That may be, but it's not the only drug in their cocktail. They have a lot of things that sociopaths don't have, one of which is the feeling of interconnectedness that comes from allowing considerations for other people to dominate their decision-making. It makes them feel that they are part of a web that is society. But even though sociopaths' decision-making isn't dominated by considerations for others, they still need people.
Our hard-wiring makes us social creatures, even sociopaths. How do you punish a criminal? Put them in prison apart from the rest of society. How do you punish someone who is already a prisoner? Further isolate them in solitary confinement. People go crazy without social interaction. Sociopaths aren't immune to this, despite being labeled "antisocial."
Sociopaths, like everyone else, get satisfaction from sharing our world, which is probably one reason why most of us have or strive for at least a few intimate associates in whom we confide. Even the Wizard of Oz seemed relieved to finally be discovered and be able to share the truth with someone. I am always charmed when someone sees through me. Obviously not everyone can or would want to share our worldview. For those that do not or cannot, it seems best for all concerned that they continue to be deceived.
i use to love being alone and still sometimes prefer it though lately i enjoy being around people
ReplyDeleteI consider myself a sociopath, I like being alone alot and only sincerely care about a couple people, I can't have romantic attractions for other people, but I do sometimes enjoy being around a few people in a private closed setting, but that's pretty much it reply with your thoughts
DeleteHm. Life is good. Gotta keep the mask on tight smile when I need to nut. Then tighten the mask. Say wats sup dawg to my things when I need to use them. Then tighten that mask again when the jobs done.
DeleteGHOST
i used to have a dog when i was a kid but then it got hit by a bus
ReplyDeletepoor doggy
ReplyDelete"And also, is it common to have just a couple of close friends who know you as well as you can be known, and then just hundreds of people who barely know you at all?"
ReplyDeleteIsn't that a pretty good description of everyone? I was under the implication that this is pretty much how social networks are across the board.
Also, being around people all the time is exhausting. Each person represents so much data that has to be taken into account when deciding how to respond. And if I'm not paying enough attention in any given social encounter, I typically accidentally end up with a boyfriend or something.
I assume sociopaths also constantly read, evaluate, and act in this manner. It seems to follow that they would need a lot of time alone, where they don't have to reflect anyone, to recharge. But then again, I probably just don't get sociopaths and am trying somewhat ineffectually to understand through comparison to myself.
NeurotypicalIntrovert,
ReplyDeleteSociopaths need social interaction to keep themselves occupied. Being by yourself is boring, plain and simple. They need interaction to break through the monotony of life.
And congratulations on being a natural man-magnet. We're all in awe of how easily they flock to you. Please pay closer attention to how attractive you come off so that there will still be some left for the rest of the female population.
Lmao thank you
DeleteC,
ReplyDeleteDoes that relate to a sociopath's lack of a sense of self or something? I'm a little confused, since M.E. seemed to indicate that sociopaths do gain satisfaction from having a confidante that they 'be themselves' with.
Is it their social performance, manipulating people and everything, that entertains them? If so, wouldn't having someone to 'be yourself' with be just as boring as being alone?
The sociopaths that I have known have needed to be with people every waking moment it seemed. I have read that this is because being alone forces them to face their own emptiness, creating somewhat of a panicky feeling which can cause them to question their own existence. It would seem similar to me as when I have had "out of body" experiences or I believe the scientific term is depersonalization which for me has lead to panic attacks.
ReplyDeleteSpending too much time alone, for a sociopath can lead to severe depression and a crisis kind of state, according to what I have read. When I broke up suddenly with my ex-sociopathic boyfriend, his daughter had to go and stay with him because he could not handle being alone.
I have a couple of questions with regard to the statement made by ME about the need for some "intimate associates" to confide in.
From everything I have read, sociopaths don't do intimacy, sexual or otherwise. Intimacy requires honesty. Does this mean, ME, that sociopaths do have the capacity for honesty on some level? Are there some people that you choose to be honest with because you feel a connection or do they get lied to also? It is my understanding that lying comes with the territory of being a sociopath and is not something that a sociopath can help. Am I correct?
Zan
Sociopaths are immune to depression. Additional personality diagnoses can exist according to the DSM-IV in addition to any PD, but not depression. ;-) Also, where are you getting your information?? Sociopaths get severely depressed and "don't do sex"?? HAHA -DR
DeleteTrue sociopath u r.
DeleteImmune to depression?? What are talking abut? I had a drug induced depression for 5/6 months.
DeleteAlso depression is a mood disorder not a personality one.It can happen to ANY one.
I maintain that lying is a habit, not a compulsion. It's one that comes almost second nature and is often selected uncosciously like profainity. It is possible to be honest with someone, but that doesn't guarantee that you will be honest with that person 100% of the time, nor does it mean you will lie to someone else 100% of the time.
ReplyDeleteAnd it can be pretty thrilling when someone sees you for who you really "are" and still be drawn to you. You can keep yourself occupied without being preoccupied with who you are "supposed" to be. Conversation can be so much more interesting when you aren't worried about what is accepted by society.
The sociopath I know would text me when he was lonely. This happened at night especially..he couldn't sleep and seemed irritated. He would begin a cycle of wanting to be with me with intese feelings and needs and then a few weeks later..gone. This happened twice before I realized what was happening.
ReplyDeleteHe had a relationship with a woman that he did feel an instant connection with and said he felt feelings with her he never experienced before. But then of course this woman wasn't available to him all the time and he was always pursuing her. I suspect once she became available to him on his terms the games would begin. But who knows for sure!
You and she served your purpose for him. -DR
DeleteThey don't realize it, but they used the sociopath as well. We all do.
DeleteI consider myself to be a very accepting person. I hate phony people and tend to have rather eccentric friends because I find them very interesting. The thing that would concern me about having a sociopathic friend would be potential harm that could be inflicted upon myself without being aware until it is too late eg; money being stolen etc. Are there sociopaths that can be your friend (with the dishonesty being a bit of a given) and be trustworthy? Would there always be the possibility that I could be harmed in some way either physically or emotionally? Is it possible to share very personal information with a sociopath without it coming back to haunt the individual in some way? It sounds like from everything that I have read, that socios are a bit more predictable than borderlines, am I right?
ReplyDeleteZan
How do you define "friend"? Of course you could get hurt, but you said you are "very accepting," so just don't put expectations on the person & you won't get let down. I wouldn't share anything personal that could be used against you one day down the road when you aren't "friends" anymore. Be smart. You know the answers to these questions. Don't you have "safer" choices for friends than sociopaths and BPD's? -DR
DeleteWould there always be the possibility that I could be harmed in some way either physically or emotionally?
ReplyDeleteThis will happen to you regardless of who you are with.
Everyone lies and manipulates on some level, the only difference is that some people feel bad about it, and others don't.
Ishtar. Always a delight to read your insight and opinion. -DR
DeleteEveryone close to you is going to hurt you at some point. It is up to you to decide who will be worth the damage and what can be repaired.
ReplyDeleteA sociopath can be loyal to another as an extension of himself, someone who becomes a part of his identity. A common example is that no one is allowed to pick on your sibling except for you. More aware sociopaths will also be more conscious of how their behavior affects others' behavior. If they are getting some kind of fulfillment out of the relationship, they aren't likely to butcher it without good cause.
What do you consider to be trustworthy, Zan?
Hmmm...trustworthy has to do with expectations with regard to how a person will behave within the context of a friendship. There does not have to be a universal set of expectations but rather it can be ground rules that are set up between the friends. The expectation would be that the other person would live up to whatever both people agree that the friendship means. This would usually mean that someone would not stab in the back by talking dirt about the other, they would not steal or otherwise harm the other emotionally or physically. There would be an expectation that if one person is angry or hurt about something the other has done, it would be communicated so it could be worked out. For me personally, the biggest indication of trust is to feel that my friend will not abandon me. I need to trust that my friendship has depth and that I am safe enough with the person to feel that I can be who I am and be accepted for that without the fear that my friend will pull the disappearing act on me. I view this to be one of the absolutely cruelest things another human being can do to another. I also feel that a trusting friendships allows for the adversities in life as well as the successes, meaning that a friend will not just be a friend in good times or just bad times but in both.
ReplyDeleteWhen you talk about an extension of yourself, C, does that mean that as long as the sociopath feels that you serve a pupose for them, then they can remain a friend? When the purpose is no longer being served, then what happens? When a sociopath abandons a friend or a lover, do they not feel any responsibility to explain to that person why that person cannot remain a part of the sociopath's life? What does it feel like to the sociopath when they have to run into that person again? Do they realize that they have hurt someone? Is there any feeling of guilt at all? My ex socio boyfriend ran away away from me. He could not face me. He would contact my friends to resolve leftover issues (logistics; returning stuff etc) or he would send his daughter to my house to do his dirty work before he would deal with me. That indicates some level of guilt and the knowledge that he was aware of his responsibility. Can anyone explain "extension of oneself?" One more thing, does the sociopath ever miss the person that they have decided no longer offers them anything?
Zan
This post caught my attention because of the sister thing.
DeleteWhen I was young I used to torture my little sister endlessly. I would hit her for fun when I was bored, steal her toys and hide them, set up situations to get her in trouble with my parents and lie to get her in trouble. I think back on it now and I regret doing it because now my sister hates me and its harder to get her to do things for me.
That being said, it was always my rule that no one was allowed to pick on my sister except for me and I enforced that rule several times.
Zan, what does it matter if you know the answers to any of your questions? The fact is he wants nothing to do with you.
ReplyDeleteNot to mention, you don't even know if your ex is a psychopath, so arriving at assumptions based on his behaviour as if they apply to all psychopaths is absurd.
HAHA-- thank you for some rationale. -DR
DeleteIshtar,
ReplyDeleteI don't think that it is up to you to decide my motivations with regard to my questions. The only thing that you need to know if you decide to read my posts is that I have an interest in knowing the answers to my questions. If I have brought up my ex or any other pychos in my life it is for the purposes of example. How would you know that I do not know for sure whether or not my ex is a sociopath? I have not had that discussion here. Are you really my ex using the alias "Ishtar"?
Zan
So is he or not?
ReplyDeleteWhy is it important to you, Ishtar?
ReplyDeleteZan
If you don't want to engage in discussion with a sociopath then why are you on a site for sociopaths? It is of course NOT important to Ishtar, but you've opened discussion haven't you? So....discuss or log off. -DR
DeleteWhy is it so important for you to withhold such a simple answer? You can lie if you want, it makes no difference.
ReplyDeleteZan,
ReplyDeleteWhat I mean by "extension of yourself" is that they become part of who you are fundamentally. They shape your sense of self. Therefore, it is only natural that you would treat them like yourself. A sociopath could cut that link off in a flash if he wanted to, but as long as you do not give him a reason otherwise, he should still find pleasure in your company. The difference between this kind of relationship and empath/empath is that the sociopath will not feel about about how things end if they do.
And if your ex is really a sociopath, his avoidance of you is less out of guilt and more out of and inability to be bothered by the petty details of your broken relationship. Or perhaps he knows you'll overthink his absence and therefore still be in control?
Zan, I have a sociopath friend that I get along with pretty well. I've known him for about 13 years.
ReplyDeleteHe's stolen a lot, but he's never stolen from me. He has lied to me a lot. He never empathizes with me, and I never expect him to. I think that's one of the reasons why he values my friendship, the other being that he knows if he really needs something, I'll probably give it to him, and I may even give him the benefit of the doubt if I think he may not actually NEED it--to a point.
In return, when I need something, he almost always finds a way to get it for me. That usually means convincing someone else to do it for him, but I'm OK with that. He almost never tells me no, even if my requests could jeopardize the stability of his life or one of his other friendships. But he'll make sure I know what he's risking.
However he also criticizes me, openly manipulates me, lies to me, sometimes tells me how he's manipulating me, taunts me, etc. I really don't mind. I actually think it's pretty neat.
He also tries to sleep with my girlfriends, convince them to be with him, etc. So far he's never been successful, and honestly, after so long, it now just seems like a game. Surprisingly, it's a lot of fun.
On the flip side he frequently asks for my advice, and while he'll usually argue with me rigorously, he sometimes comes back a week or two later and tells me he understands why I told him to do what I told him.
Our relationship thrives on reciprocity. He does good things for me, I do good things for him. He screws me over, and I escalate. After 5 years of that, he just stopped screwing me over. It works out pretty well.
Thank you C and anonymous for your responses. C, that sounds mighty cold! That explains why he just simply threw my key away instead of just giving it back. Didn't mean to be so "petty" that I would actually expect to get my things back! (lol...i think)
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,
Sounds like alot of trouble! To go through 5 years of being messed with, having to stay on your toes to maintain some sort of balance before you could get to some kind of what sounds like an "arrangement". I'll do things for you and you for me. I guess if you know going into it that the person is sociopathic, it woud be manageable because then you would know what to watch out for. You would stay especially detatched. The problem is that people don't tell you they are sociopaths.
I do find the sociopathic personality very interesting and think they have alot to offer from a different perspective. They are not crippled by emotions that empaths often get tripped up on that cause them to see the world in a very distorted way.
Sure wish we could somehow erase the lying, cheating, conscious manipulation and the potential criminal element. If we could, then damn, I'm signing up for the sociopath club! At least I want lessons...lol.
Zan
Zan- Maybe you'd be better off just watching movies and reading books about psychopathy rather than trying to date and befriend them. ;-) You don't have to have someone tell you who they are to know. FIVE YEARS? There are no victims, just volunteers. There are therapists for this. I also find it humorous that you use the word "manageable" in this context! HAHA You're deluding yourself, but you must like the game. I mean, here you are, still engaging with the snakes that bite you again and again and again.... -DR
DeleteWhy do you tink empaths see the world distorted?
ReplyDeleteAspie,
ReplyDeleteWell I can't speak for anyone other than myself. Sometimes when I am emotionally hung up on something, it skews my objectivity and I don't see things the way they actually are but in the way that my emotional state is leaning at the time. Often, with time and distance from the situation, I see that my perceptions were all wrong and very distorted. I have to remind myself all the time that I need to stay a bit detached if I don't want that to happen. This can be especially bad if I react to the situation with behavior or words at the time that I am percieving the situation incorrectly. One can end up doing some damage that cannot always be repaired if they are not careful.
Zan
Why change who you are?? Just change who you date! Or maybe stop dating for a while until you figure out why you are attracting or attracted to people who you have to be on guard with and detach from. -DR
DeleteHi Zan.
ReplyDeleteI can see what you are saying. I think though in the above post you are saying sometimes you get hung up/yourself etc and in the post above my last one you are saying E's often get tripped up. Would it be fairer to say that E's sometimes get tripped up with emotions/hang ups?
Hi Aspie,
ReplyDeleteYes, I think you could say that both are true.
Zan
2013... Hmmm.
ReplyDeleteYes, 2013... I answered and my comments were deleted...
ReplyDeleteWhere's Jayna at
ReplyDeleteShe's living in Montana with that guy she met off the oil rig. Bought a huge ranch and are raising a rare breed of moths. Somehow, I don't think we are talking about the same Jayna though...
DeleteIt's possibly the same one. I believe she is also making repairs and doing maintenance on her spaceship.
DeleteI get bored, but seldom if ever lonely. I like for people to validate that I'm someone they'd want to be around because it hurts my ego if someone denies my company, but I don't need to be around people as long as I have another source for stimulation and entertainment. And I usually get painfully bored by their vapid small talk and common interests/thoughts. I feel like if I met one I've met them all.
ReplyDelete"I like for people to validate that I'm someone they'd want to be around because it hurts my ego if someone denies my company"
DeleteLovely...
"but I don't need to be around people as long as I have another source for stimulation and entertainment."
What can be more stimulating and entertaining than people? Although, they are tiring.
Given the choice between watching them perform and participating in a conversation I would choose the former unless they are particularly intriguing or if the context is sexual. But I would like for them to make themselves scare the very moment I find another activity. I prefer to eat alone, sleep alone, exercise alone, listen to music alone, think alone. This Internet interaction is enough for me.
ReplyDeleteInternet interaction can be far more substantial than the vapid small talk. Actually, I think is more the other way round: the vapid small talk is not enough for you, so you need internet interaction.
DeleteWell you do not know as much about human nature/psychology as you seem to believe you do. I do not like non-goal-orientation conversation. If I can't get something out of it of value to me I do not participate. And I don't NEED internet interaction. But I appreciate the control I have over when the conversing begins and ends, the pace, as well as the subject matter.
Delete"If I can't get something out of it of value to me I do not participate. And I don't NEED internet interaction. But I appreciate the control I have over when the conversing begins and ends, the pace, as well as the subject matter."
DeleteI may not agree with you on everything, but you and I are very much a like here...
That makes sense, then you need goal-oriented-conversations which are easier to find on the internet..
DeleteJessi
Yeah my mom thinks I'm an aspie, but I disagree because I was not the way I am (at least not to this extent) when I was younger. In fact, my personality changed somewhat drastically within a six month span. I felt different even as a kid, but I still had the desire to coexist with others. Now I automatically take notice of how superficial each "bond" I form is. How people may share self-promotional commonalities with me, but my essence still does not connect with anyone else's.
DeleteThis sounds like normal introvert teen answer... Considering now teenager epoch has extended.
DeleteJessi
"How people may share self-promotional commonalities with me, but my essence still does not connect with anyone else's"
DeleteAh... you are a very special snow flake.
Yes Jessi I am both 19 and an introvert. And I am a special snow flake :D
DeleteI know a lot of 19 year old introverts who feel they can't connect, love cats, want to do little to get a lot, and have "unique" ideas about the world no one has ever thought of before.
DeleteBut... I think you do connect.
"Okay THIS fundraiser is actually really important. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE don't just ignore it. This is one of the most amazing, charitable individual I've had the good fortune to know. It would crush those close to her if she doesn't beat this"
https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/fk52/cancerfightforangela?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=graph&utm_campaign=vanity_page&fb_action_ids=10151347790757097&fb_action_types=give-forward%3Ahug&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%7B%2210151347790757097%22%3A506837372711468%7D&action_type_map=%7B%2210151347790757097%22%3A%22give-forward%3Ahug%22%7D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D
Yeah I say what I need to in order to sell things.
DeleteI also made a fundraiser for myself claiming to be "an emotionally abused queer living in the deep South in a terrible destructive environment and in desperate need of health insurance." Quite hyperbolized...
And don't get me wrong, she is a cool mom. Much easier to be around than mine.
But her daughter, whom was the closest thing to a "best friend" I had up until I moved and I still...idk there is just something missing from all of my relationships. I want to be passionate about someone. I want my stream of consciousness to be shared and to make sense without my explaining. I don't want to have to idealize people or split hairs about their qualities and interests to find them good enough.
Yet I want them to go away at the snap of a finger.
Chet, I don't know if you have a disorder or not (sociopath definitely not) but you are far less troubled than Monica ;) I think you are pretty normal/healthy, and that's good :)
DeleteJessi, why do you continue to go from post to post and tell everyone else what they are or are not? As a self-described and evident common empath you would be one of the last people to have a word.
DeleteAlso, you should not assume people on here are being completely, or even partially honest about themselves.
And I did not claim to be troubled. I am merely talking about myself and my personality (at least to your knowledge I am) because many people are self-centered enough to do that much, regardless of specific clinical personalities.
I am not totally convinced that any single disorder fits me wholeheartedly, but if one ever came very close to summarizing the gist of my temperment it is this: http://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=171671.msg12018171#msg12018171
A borderline that almost seems like a schizoid to those that don't know them the most intimately.
"Confession is always weakness. The grave soul keeps it's own secrets, and takes its own punishment in silence"... but I suppose, even though I'm quite fond of Dorothy's (Dix, the name simply fell into place here) viewpoint, I've always found tones of martyrdom rather tedious.
ReplyDeleteI disagree. Confession is good for the soul. But be wise in your choice of listeners.
DeleteMay i ask what constiutes "hermit" in your own words. I dont want wikipedia . I would like to hear in your own words, if you dont mind.
DeleteIf you mirror me I will know it, so if you dont mind, please do not.
Sociopaths and zen monks have a lot in common - weak sense of self, stoic, mindful, focus, utilitarian, non-attachment. I know some monks who are (former) sociopaths. e.g. professional gambler and dealer in illegal casinos that worked a bit as a clerk in a porno store.
ReplyDeleteThere are plenty of hermit-inclined zen practitioners who think being alone, for long periods of time, is a great way to come to terms with what it means to be human. Some fans - guys who later did extremist things like killling moderate generals in pre-WWII Japan (regretting only that it took two strokes to kill a guy instead of just one) - are on record as saying that being sent to prison, which was like being on a retreat, was the best thing that happened to them.
Over-exposition to dull communication is very exhausting. Anybody with more than a dull brain needs rest after it, nothing to do with sociopathy.
DeleteAfter reading your posts - I'm going to take a nap
Deleteyes Jessi.
DeleteWhat would you say if you felt like you wanted to get away from a person at a party, say, with what you consider a dull brain/dull conversationalist?
I do what ME does, which is decide in advance how to ditch them ie: go to the bathroom, or say i "need" to talk to a person i just noticed in my sights about something which requires immediate attention. I make it real for both me and the other, causing no split seams if i can. Otherwise, i am literally suffering inside.
May i ask what do the other empaths or borderlines do/how they feel inside?
ReplyDeleteHey Jessi!
"TUA, a sociopath with children?? You have them but you don't care about them I hope. Or aren't you a a sociopath?"
Just wonderng, do you have a... clue
I thought you said you had children.
DeleteJessi
Now your just Anonymous? Was this question to me from Jessi or to Jessi? I'm gonna assume me?
DeleteI do have kids. Point?
( an ipad issue, thats why I place Anon and sign)
DeleteWhat I asked before: if you care of if you are not a sociopath.
Jessi.
Two different questions... but the way you ask it makes an either or. I either care about my children or I am a sociopath. If I say I don't care, does that make me a sociopath? No, not at all. If I say I am a sociopath, then I don't care about my children? Wrong again. This isn't an either or question Jessi, the possiblities are numerous as to what may cause some to not like or care for their children and there are also sociopath's who are family oriented.
DeleteThis is whay I asked... Do you have a clue?
I will answer one of the two and then I would like you to answer a question of mine... (and not about you having a clue)
I think you are a man who knows his limitations. I think you care for your family but also need time away from them.
DeleteMaria
PS I am too talkative to stay away from here.
Well, a high level communication is also exhausting for the dull ;)
ReplyDeleteJessi
And narcissists and sociopaths have no filter on their words and are sooooo numb.
DeleteAnd us talky bipolars...
DeleteOf course it could just be me.
Maria
I want to write a tome, if I could only say enough so I could extirpate it like a tumor. It is one as much as a cancer, sending out spidery gnarls to untouched places.
ReplyDeleteWhat I am trying to say is that I left myself like a lost suitcase that has been in some Lost and Found for ages. No one claimed it and so they forgot about it. There it sits, in the corner. It is like a piece of junk which is so familiar that you don't see it.
DeleteI am back there, somewhere, underneath it all: meaning all the piles of everything, whether it be leaves or stacks of suitcases or the shoes from all the Jews they put on the trains. I am under some pile but the exact location of myself is not clear.
Before I got under the pig pile, life made sense in the way that a gelatin parfait makes sense. It is layered with squiggly gelatin, color coded in red or green with a delicate layer of whipped cream between. There is a garnish on top, cut in a pretty shape.
DeleteI went to school in the South. Southern food has it's own symmetry. They have chocolate bread with chocolate sauce and collard greens with bacon fat. Food is like mothers and mothers are like pain. That is why I used to go to the buffets and eat the greasy bar-b-que chicken until I couldn't move.
DeleteI had a point. It was the parfait. The layers are your values. They hold the parfait together. If you lose them, you are half falling all the time like an unsteady drunk.
ReplyDeleteI lost mine so can't speak from any other experience. I wonder if I can go back and rebuild the fucking parfait. Why not? I mean, you just take the jello, cut it into squares, measuring properly. You stack them with whipped cream in between. There you have it, a dessert which is really an edifice. What do you think?
Incredible points. Sound arguments. Keep up the great spirit.
ReplyDeleteHere is my homepage: labrador retriever mix
Theme Series
ReplyDeleteCan I has?
DeleteOf course. Let Themes put on his thinking cap :)
DeleteTheme for Medusa
DeleteLove,
Themes
Thank you kindly, my dear.
Delete♥
Theme for Jessi
ReplyDeleteI love the song, thanks. I prefer Bonnie Raitt's though ;)
DeleteWhen does one become a regular?
ReplyDeleteYou are a regular to Themes, when he gets a feel for your essence, Man.
DeleteCool
ReplyDeleteWhy do people call you a male? You look like a girl to me. What do you have under that pants of yours?
Deletevagina but I'm (mostly) a little boy inside
ReplyDeleteidc what pronoun(s) is/are used for me
Sweet blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News.
ReplyDeleteDo you have any suggestions on how to get listed in
Yahoo News? I've been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Appreciate it
my page :: Abercrombie and Fitch
I definitely believe sociopaths need other people to share their secrets. Not just anyone but someone who understands it.
ReplyDeleteMy partner keeps me "normal" or as normal as I can be. He is a very emotional person anything can trigger his emotions no matter how small. He understands that I am emotionally lacking (except for when it comes to puppies :)) but does not know the full extend of my differences and I cannot tell him. I have fed him little details (which are not too out of the ordinary) of my past and thoughts but of course not all just enough so he thinks I'm a little quirky.
I have a partner and friends who adore me but I'm always alone and in my head because I can't share my secret. I tried a few times but they don't believe me because I'm too "nice and caring". Obviously I'm just too good at hiding who I really am and no one wants to believe a nice caring person can be emotionally void, selfish and just simply don't care.
I build into some of my characters a little of the real me just enough so my friends think I'm a little weird. This helps me to bring up some of my lighter secrets to my closest friends. But before I do I test the water before I divulge to make sure they can handle it and understand it.
I met someone who is also an S and was the only person I could "connect" with. Even though we were both competing with each other to see who has the best stories. Nonetheless it was a easy connection without effort. I felt some kind of release that I can share the darker secrets no one in the world knows about except me. It was the most honest relationship I have had. Don't get me wrong I was still on guard and tested the waters because you never know what he would use against me.
Unfortunately, it seems the game we are playing is over and I can feel the loneliness kicking in again now that I can't share my secrets.
As wonderful as this blog is and giving me an insight to others like me, it's not the same.
I find it interesting that people are occasionally referring to sociopaths with terms that are absolute: being a sociopath doesn't mean you fit a mold. There are levels and differences between us. Someone was right on the money about saying that we don't like being alone, that it forces one to examine themselves and it is uncomfortable, but ths is probably true of all people. For this reason, many sociopaths keep bus busy when alone so you don't dwell on uncomfortable thoughts of social lack, but again, I expect this is probably normal for most people. Socios don't always lie and manipulate but each one has different 'black holes' in their moral/social code which are marked as different from most non-sicios.
ReplyDeleteOf course there is no absolute. All groups have anomalies or slight differences amongst them. In forums like these you are limited to a topic and comments r made without knowing the history or knowledge of the individual. This gives the readers a limited perception. We are all at the mercy of the person who made the comment on a particular topic. All people manipulate to a certain degree and those that say they don't lie or are unaware. It is a natural human survival instinct. Eg parents manipulate their children to clean up their toys. The only person who truly knows if they are or not is the individual regardless if they are aware there is an official label attached to it.
ReplyDeleteI have been diagnosed as a sociopath, I have been exposed. I have hurt so many people. Now knowing what I am and what I am capable of. I hide. I go to work I go home. I try to not interact with other people so that I eliminate any possibility of hurting them. I'm so lonely. I want to interact with others but I'm terrified of hurting them.
ReplyDeleteNo more victims. I keep reminding myself of the pain I caused and the lies I have told, just to remind me to stay alone, stay away from everyone. To protect the world I have to hide from it. My God its so hard, I would love to hold someone, to talk to someone, just to hear a friendly voice. But I can't, I won't. I know what I am and I will not let the monster out ever again.
You are so very clearly not a sociopath. Youre isolating yourself... why? Respect for others feelings, AKA empathy. Chill out, go make some friends, and stop trying to give yourself pop culture diagnoses.
DeleteIts so easy to brush us off as monsters. I've been called one. I don't think I am but the truth of it is that I probably am based on society's definition. Believe me, I hide out panicking waiting for the villagers to unite. Its just a matter of time. I too do not want to hurt anyone. But I do. I don't know why.
ReplyDeleteIts so lonely, so very very lonely. For those of us that realize the damage we can cause just by simply being near someone; its terrifying, how can we possibly expect to have a normal relationship ie. friendship, love. We can't we are monsters and the consequences of that mean we must seal ourselves off and hide, that way no one can get hurt. I won't hurt anyone anymore. I just won't if I have to spend my life completely alone I will do so. The real common mistake is the belief we don't feel love or connections we prey on them. While I have done evil things I regret all of them and would happily give my life to repair the hurt I have caused.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeletePersonally I prefer evil. Evil isn't immoral - it's amoral. If you look at all the really BAD shit in the world, you'll realize it's done by the GOOD people, not the evil ones.
DeleteWars are all fought in the name of God, not in the name of The Devil, and child molesters are Catholic priests, not Satanists.
when you become aware ( which is so very heard for a sociopath to do) it all becomes clear, all of your crimes and the damage you've caused. It tears you up inside and then the guilt and shame sets in. Everything in your life becomes dark. In the eyes of everyone around you can see how you've been exposed. You can see people avoid you, and you know why and my God it hurts so bad
ReplyDeleteYeah. You're talking about self-judgment. Sorry pal. Sociopaths don't judge. Least of all their selves. Me, mostly because I don't even have one. Go cry in an empty corner somewhere while I enjoy my life.
DeleteFunny they can block out learning, because no one told them how, ha me neither was that the sociopaths fault now.
ReplyDeleteBut yet they can leave devastation in others lives, sadness and many but no feelings, after their gratified their antiqued face always returns and someone should pay, is that not our shame for their guilt.
And their lonely who would have thunk.
Hey here's another one, people need to be lawyers because they have to escape everyday theirselves in order to stay in fine tune, and judges get burned out from hearing cases of the aftermath everyday not like it has actually happened to them, but that is why their so qualified being a servant of the rights of people for all it stands, but it was probably someones fault they became one, as the rest follow on the scytzoids scene of important ones.
ReplyDeleteYes I should be a shamed of myself for saying they are the worst joke but, nope....!
Democrates fail on the tiny minded governing unofficials, republicans fail on lies.
Sometimes what is admired, isn't worth filling out for another, they might win a prize with unworthy backing.
Have you thunk?
This is one of my favorite articles.
ReplyDeleteI stand amazed at your writing skills, ME.
I like being on the 'path.
ReplyDeleteAs do I. The only miserable part was before I was aware. Trying to be like everyone else because that's all I knew was hard. Knowing myself now, piece of cake. No more acting unless I see it fit. All these guys crying so much clearly just got done watching Dexter our something. You guys aren't sociopaths. You feel bad for the things you've done for the effect it had on others, sounds pretty damn empathetic to me. Generally speaking us socios only feel "bad" in relationships when things don't go as planned, but for logical, not emotional, reasons affecting ourselves only. That's pretty much sociopathy at its core...
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ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteHow To Get Your Lost Husband Back
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Most women nowadays are very dangerous as it is since a great deal of them are real men haters along with a lot of very severe mental problems as well unfortunately, and that is why many of us single men really can't meet a decent normal woman anymore today either. Most women really have no manners and a very horrible personality as well altogether now, and they need help very badly the way they treat many of us single men today looking for love.
ReplyDelete