From TheNotablePath:
I'm a fellow empathy challenged sadist, and have found your blog to be both entertaining, and informative. I'm not sure what my proper label is, but I don't think that matters so much as something else, getting rid of this damn stigma.
I guess that although we share similarities in that which we crave and indulge upon at the cost of others, I think I might be some weird off-beat do-gooder. I do mean do-gooder, too, not good.
In some strange sense, I think that we as emotionally challenged individuals have the rare gift of emotional detachment to the social themes of Good and Evil, and in this, when we commit an act of Good, we're in fact doing something more profound than say, someone compelled into being good through morals, social norms or emotions. There's no guilt or shame factored into our actions, in general, so when we decide to not be a self-centered bastard for a moment, and help someone or something out, it should mean something more, especially since we tend to gravitate towards the easier choices that best serve us.
We get a bad rap for only doing good things that benefit us somehow. So what? If an empath's claim to fame in the society-perpetuated Holy War raging between Good and Evil is that they feel that they need to be good, then who is being the bigger hypocrite? Are our actions not in some twisted way more genuine than theirs? At least ours are our own, not affected and forced upon us by some strange, emotional pull or man-made moral code.
A lot of people don't seem to realize that there's more empathy challenged people on the other side of the prison bars than what the media and probably a fair amount of self-righteous crusaders would like the masses to believe.
So, because of this, I've taken it upon myself to help add to our community with my own blog, to erect a banner that proudly displays that yeah, we might be inter-species predators, but we're not all a bunch of loony criminals that eat people and kill dogs for kicks. This is who we are, love it or hate it, you silly, irrational empaths. We're everywhere, and although you're easy prey, you're not all on the menu, and even if you were, it doesn't mean we're interested in specifically you.
Thank you Notable for the article.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe that all sociopaths are horrible people. I believe that the ones who have no insight into who they are and how to function in society, among society, make up the horrible creeps that cause harm. Some sociopaths work hard to intertwine with society. Whatever they do to be who they are, as long as it doesn’t cause harm, is fine with me.
As far as empaths go, I don't know if I really am one. But if sociopaths are at one end of the spectrum and empaths at the other then I sit on the empath side. But I'm not as irrational as you think. In relationships my empathy becomes more of a challenge but not so much in everyday life. Not sure what that means, if anything. I don’t run around emotionally engaged in everything. I can put my intelligence above my feelings when I need to. I’m sure many empaths are like this. I don't go about empathy to be right or better..I just do things the only way I know how to. Sometimes I do good things because it make ME feel good..even if no one says thank you..I don't need recognition for it all the time.
It would be great if you could understand empaths more than just having a narrow view of us. We try to understand you people...but that's because we have insight. As far as who is better off, I will say I am because I can imagine what it would be like to be a sociopath, you cannot understand this one bit..well maybe surface speaking you can. I have an ex bf who owed me money and just paid me back and of course now he wants to be friends now. Unfortunately, I can’t do that for obvious reasons but it would be nice to have a friend like that to turn to at times. He could be handy. But then again I can always come here if I need to
Grace
"At least ours are our own"
ReplyDeleteWho is this self who is the supposed owner of the act? What is the genuine centre from which your actions spring which you contrast with the 'silly emotional' origin of the actions of empathic people?
Hi Grace,
ReplyDeleteI subscribe to the 'Burn No Bridges' philosophy, even in regards to people who ruddy well don't deserve it. I don't think there are many constant and static people out there, with one-tract minds at all times in regards to something devious or foul. The only exception I can think of would be a heavy, unrepentant addict, but that is more a symptom from a deeper disease.
I'm aware that empaths can emotionally detach themselves from situations, but there are many who choose not to, and when they do out of obligation, it can literally crush them afterwards. In the same way that it is easier for me to be somewhat cold and logical, I'm guessing it's somewhat easier for you to go for the gut reaction, or whatever you're initially compelled to do.
As far as your Ex goes, whatever the reasons, a simple solution would be this. Weigh the pros and cons of the arrangement. Don't make your decision solely by which side tips the scales more, but assess it and understand the risk versus reward of it. If you're willing to make a little sacrifice to have this person in your life, so be it. Just don't let the transgressions of the past be forgotten.
I have a small handful of friends that even a so-called normal person wouldn't deal with if they didn't have to, but they provide something for me that others simply don't. Excitement. And for someone as myself who should never be bored, for the sake of everyone else, I need a little excitement in my life.~
I'm going to be blogging soon about the dangers of unaware sociopaths, and also the even more sinister dangers of newly aware sociopaths. I hope it'll be as interesting as it sounds.
@thedailyg: I'm not sure if you're a sociopath, or something similar, so I'll try to answer from my perspective.
ReplyDeleteIf I assess a situation, and see that I can help and or hurt someone or thing, or simply leave, I'll choose one of the three.
I'm not sure if you've ever played videgames, but one of the popular themes is some Western Role-Playing Games is the Three Choice system. Good Choice, Bad Choice, Neutral Choice. This is morbidly amusing to me, because this is basically how it works. There is no auto-default choice to one of the three, usually.
I can literally be any of them, anytime, for any reason. I'm incapable of altruism, true altruism at least, but that doesn't mean I can't go out of my way to help people for no apparent benefit to myself. Sometimes, I take pleasure in the act, and sometimes, I can tell that it would really turn someone's crappy day upside down.
And that my friend, that's a power that sociopaths aren't typically associated with. The power to help people. It's not our own little slice of life, nothing unique to us, and often discarded due to inconvenience and lack of benefit, but we can still do it.
The big difference between us, and my lamentable use of words, silly empaths, is that we're Never compelled to choose one or the other unless necessity dictates it.
I hope that answered your question, if not, I can elaborate.
I agree with this completely. For me it's not a case of I go around looking for a "mark" necessarily it's just in the course of everyday life that opportunities present themselves to me.
ReplyDeleteI have affinities toward all people but it can be for "good" or "bad". Let's say a friend is having issues with another person. I will go to bat for them because they give me things the other person cannot and it will offer an opportunity to have some fun with the other.
On a bigger scale I do "altruistic" things because it will make me look good to other people on a larger scale and thus make it easier to get things from them in the future.
I know it may seem like a shallow callous existence but really is it that different from the life of an empath? I just don't believe it is. Empaths are capable of shallow behavior, nastiness and so on.
Also doing "good" creates emotion in others and I get something out of that but I can't describe what it is that I get. It's not a feeling but I'll describe it as a thought feeling. For example something "happy" happens, I won't FEEL happy I'll think happy. I have no idea if that makes sense or not. Perhaps for socios feelings manifest as thoughts linked with emotional situations we've linked with a certain emotion?
Oh by the way, if you all knew what I did for a living you'd be absolutely mortified. It's a job that has great power...and requires great empathy and I am amazing at it!!
ReplyDeletei do good things as a conscious choice. not because i want to get into heaven or don't want to go to hell or would feel guilty otherwise blah blah blah. partly it is because if someone else finds out about a good deed (esp by engineered accident ;) then it helps maintain the mask; partly because i usually don't care either way about most things so i may as well choose the 'good' thing. but mostly i do good because it helps maintain my ego - feeling better than everyone else - because what other people would view as a great self sacrifice and thus be unlikely to do, will usually be nothing to me. i suspect there are many do-gooder 'paths feeding their own egos, and what is wrong with that? it's a better reason than to simply be programmed by evolution to be a 'cooperator'.
ReplyDeleteNotable, he doesn't know this but I'm not the same person he knew 8 months ago. Based on that alone, he could never accept me this way. I can't carry a conversation with him based on fantasy and that's what he wants. He doesn't see the beauty in life without added dimensions of phonyism, at least when it comes to relationships. It sort of like he needs to be high all the time..not on drugs but on fantasy. I would go for that too if it were productive. He’s very serious when it comes to work, guns, Harleys. But because I’m not an object he doesn’t know how to be a real friend. And I will not bend to his will either. So there would be war before it ended.
ReplyDeleteYou know the world needs empaths. You probably don’t believe that but if you don’t consider the whole picture you’re just limiting your perspective. You and I have a higher self..an essence..that we ignore most of the time. But if we both pay attention to that more, we’ll see we are very much the same.
Grace
ps. Squidward just said to Spongebob "Spongebob I hate you a little bit less"
Spondgebob: "Squidward, that's a beautiful thing you just said"
Squidward is a sociopath!!
ReplyDeleteGrace
~yawn~
ReplyDeleteGrace said, "he doesn't know this but I'm not the same person he knew 8 months ago. Based on that alone, he could never accept me this way. I can't carry a conversation with him based on fantasy and that's what he wants."
ReplyDeleteGrace, I totally "feel" you on this. It's bittersweet, isn't it?
(I'm glad to hear that you got the money he owed you!)
i suspect there are many do-gooder 'paths feeding their own egos, and what is wrong with that? it's a better reason than to simply be programmed by evolution to be a 'cooperator'.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if it's merely to satisfy one's ego, or also to satisfy a void that would otherwise render an individual to feel directionless and thus put them in a state of restlessness or boredom (maintaining a favourable reputation would also be a nice side effect).
Working for a humanitarian/environmental cause has the benefit of never truly having a solution, allowing for wider range of opportunities to enact said cause, as opposed to working in a cubicle 9-5. This could certainly be said for professions ranging from medicine and law to even volunteer work, where the circumstances often vary.
Good, we're in fact doing something more profound than say, someone compelled into being good through morals
ReplyDeleteI've thought this, too. Ultimately, though, pretty much all the good I do is selfish. (I define "good" based on the prosthetic moral compasses in my pocket)I'm generally considered a good/nice/sweet person, but I make that happen, because my life is better when people think of me like that. I even do nice things for people when no one else is around, because that person now "knows" that I'm not just doing it so society will accept me, and the type of person one is tends to "get around" to others. In the words of some movie from my teenage years, "I happen to like being adored, thank you very much." This perceived character of integrity and kindness really excuses or overshadows many of my p/s behaviors. Because of who I am, I get the benefit of the doubt.
Boy, I must be a conversation killer :)
ReplyDeleteOn another note, an interesting observation: From clicking around I've noticed that a lot of the self-identified P/S types on here are in the sciences or math.
'Boy, I must be a conversation killer'
ReplyDeleteyeah, i hope you're happy. ;)
You didn't mention creative writing, must be a given :)
ReplyDeleteso,sociopaths, from your perspective, what is the best way for an empath who just realized she is being used by one of you guys, to bring one of you down?
ReplyDeletelol
ReplyDelete^ anyone's ego big enough to answer this question?
ReplyDeleteI must first ask how exactly do you believe you are being used?
ReplyDelete@Anonymous - 7:50 AM
ReplyDeleteI don't usually make it a conscious issue of helping a friend with an issue because they can help me in some way. I have a few friends that offer me nothing more than conversation. There isn't much a factor in being used with that sort of situation. I do understand your stance, though.
The 'feel good' sensation you get, I think I know what you mean. It's this feeling that I don't seem to get unless I am doing something good, and notice that it has positively affected someone. It isn't happiness, it isn't being smug, it is its own little feeling, one I'm not familiar with. Maybe the 'feel good' sensation is just that, feeling from good? Who knows... I don't make it a habit, and thus probably don't notice diminishing returns.
I would like to know what you do for a living. I usually mesh very well in empathy-heavy situations, I know most of the cues.
@ResCogitans & Pythias:
I understand where you are coming from, too. Being a nice person, or being known for one travels and helps spread pre-impressions to others who may not know you. Even simple gestures help a lot, so long as you make sure your mask is not one of annoyance or duty, but actual kindness and or generosity with a smile. I don't usually make this a conscious effort but I do at times. It is a lot better than having a reputation for being an uncaring sod... usually.
@Grace:
I don't look down on empaths. I don't understand what all makes them tick at the core, being blindsided by irrationality on occasion, and I know they wouldn't like me for who I really am. It's a healthy frustration, I would think. However, I don't consider them weak or inferior, just different. My ego wouldn't agree, but I do on a rational level.
As far as the Mister goes, is he in a MC? Or sold on the outlaw lifestyle? It's certainly a romantic one if you're into the rugged stuff... What to you mean he doesn't know how to be a real friend? I'm curious what your definition is, and why he is incapable of it.
@Pythias:
Is it really that selfish? In the same way an empath cannot help but at least feel compelled to do a good deed, we can't help but feel something when we do them (successfully). I don't think gaining involuntary satisfaction denigrates the deed in any capacity.
@Anonymous 2:15 PM
Define how you are being used, and I'll see what I can do.
@Postmodern Sociopath:
Here here, don't fret. I have it on good authority that tomorrow's blog post will be the confessions of an arms dealing, human selling, drug smuggling, tri-sexual sociopath with a penchant for impregnating single mothers.~
Now that's a story I can enjoy. I'll have to get around to the arms dealing and impregnating so I can round out my memoirs.
ReplyDeletei agree with postmodernsociopath.
ReplyDeletei'm bored.
the idea that a socio only 'helps' others for selfish reasons is an utterly moot point.
we are all motivated by self-preservation to a large degree. christ i'm an empath and even i can see that the distinction is utterly pointless, like you're expecting a dog to miaow. change the record.
B
Yeah..it's less of a feeling though Notable and more like a thought. You know I'll say to someone "Damn it I am so gosh darn mad about x" and do all the things that indicate angry but inside I am feeling nothing at all. It's just a thought in response to a situation.
ReplyDeleteMy profession - probably wont believe me. I am a doctor. I have delivered babies and thought happy and acted all the actions but felt nothing. The most amazing thing to me is that I am really good at the empathy side of things - patients absolutely love me. No one suspects that I don't really give a stuff. I have people baking cakes for me, giving me stuff because of how I have helped them. Of course there are strict rules in this profession that I am bound by and since I don't want to end up in jail I don't do criminal. Obviously.
Actually I really enjoy my job and take great pride in it. But have many sociopathic traits none the less.
So this is what I'd say about sociopathy and altruism. It is entirely possible to be a sociopath AND altruistic. The reason I do good is because of where I want to go NOT because of some emotion. It's just not there. But I have helped people. I would argue there is no such thing as true altruism unless you're getting nothing out of it at all. Even empaths perform altruistic acts because of the emotional kick they get.
btw i'm not much refering to the socios who are explaining their behaviour, but the empaths who are judging socios by their own behaviour.
ReplyDeleteempaths can be rational for no reason other than it's useful, just as socios aren't altruistic for any reason other than it's useful and it makes them useful, and we all need to be useful.
B
Notable said: As far as the Mister goes, is he in a MC? Or sold on the outlaw lifestyle? It's certainly a romantic one if you're into the rugged stuff... What to you mean he doesn't know how to be a real friend? I'm curious what your definition is, and why he is incapable of it.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what you mean by MC. But for sure outlaw lifestyle.
Friends tell the truth to each other, usually. It's the kind of relationship one can count on for honesty....hanging out at starbucks or doing something fun together..nothing major. I do have a male friend and that's what it's like with him. I see him once in a while and that's it. He killed so many people in Iraq and he's capable of friendship. Yet this turkey isn't interested in that kind of thing. He just wants relationships where he benefits and feels those intense feelings that make him feel alive. It's all good in the begining and then when things level out...he's gone. This is how I see it anyway.
Grace
Understandable, B.
ReplyDeleteThe reason I've tackled this is because I haven't really run across anyone who is actively pursuing it. Sociopath World is however very well done, helping spread awareness and a channel for sociopaths to meet and converse, and empaths to hopefully understand us better.
A lot of it is a reaction to the near-countless online resources about sociopaths, against sociopaths. One of the common themes is that if we act 'good' is it a pure facade. Not that I'm debunking that, hardly, just that there is more than one option, explaining our motives and feelings (or lack thereof), and it certainly isn't always bad (in my case).
I'm sure there's a lot of 'paths running around, causing a ruckus, drama, and overall being charismatic bastards, always using people on a conscious level to their own ends. I'm not one of them, haven't been one of them, and don't intend on being one of them. I'm not the only one, and as I've seen in limited response, there might be more of us than I previously thought. I think that's an important distinction, one people ought to at least know. As boring as it may be to you, I guarantee you that there are people who don't know this sort of information and think we're all boogie men.
@Grace:
ReplyDeleteI'd have to agree that avoiding him would be a good idea for anything more than a fling.
He at least knows what he wants, and goes for it, instead of lying to himself and feeling miserable because of it. And thankfully, you know what you want, which isn't congruent with his desires and needs, and have the good sense not to disregard that information.
MC is short for Motorcycle Club. They range for normal to outlaw, the "one-percenters".
In the USA, a MC being designated "outlaw" does not necessarily imply criminal behavior, simply that they don't adhere to the American Motorcyclists Association.
to notable path
ReplyDeletei get you. i think i sounded harsh cos i have a tendency to get frustrated when empaths (or anyone) think so simplistically. when people can't get out of the box that they themselves live in and see the bigger picture it can get annoying for those that do and strive to.
as for what you yourself are doing, it's a shame you even have to justify yourself, as it would be for anyone, but i'm totally with you on what you are doing.
the internet has helped me an untold amount in understaning things and i guess if others can learn too then keep up the good work. :)
B
I don't know if he belongs to any clubs. But if it means being social, even with his bike, then no. He rides alone..lol.
ReplyDeleteThat's why he is miserable. He's lonely and cannot figure out how to maintian relationships with anyone. But he's not THAT lonely I guess or he would make whatever change needed to have people in his life. Plus he keeps blaming all his lonliness and other problems on other people being assholes. We all can't be wrong.
Grace
On being used....
ReplyDeleteAfter years and years of basically ignoring me, all of a sudden he is back into my life.
This site has been very educational for me, so when he re-appeared the only question in my mind was:
What do I have that he could possibly want?
What use do I have for him?
I have no social, financial or professional advantage for him.
But at least I was on the alert enough, from the info gathered here, to be looking for the motive.
He has done something very hurtful to someone and has a new person lined up.
He is using his association with me as a personal relations bandaid.
That is, he is trying to improve his image with his peers by being associated with me becase of my reputation for being a good person.
I have no one
to guide me in this.
So socios, how do I take him down?
@TheNotablePath:
ReplyDeleteMy question was pretty straightforward and demands an answer if we and you are to believe your own argument.
You take pride in your moral choices which you characterise as being freer and nobler due to the paucity or absence of 'compelling' emotion. You posit this rational god-like homunculus-self who cooly makes these decisions, but is there any such being? Where does it reside - the brain, the soul..? Are your choices not ultimately as externally caused as anyone's? So can there be any true basis for self-pride, about moral choices or about anything at all?
And isn't it an archaic, reductive and scientifically discredited stance, that emotion somehow opposes reason? They can work together well or badly. But the reason that it's called emotion is that it moves us to action. So ultimately your actions are driven by emotion of some sort, too. Otherwise you would just lie down and die in a state of total apathy.
You'll take yourself down in the process and nothing will work anyway. Just walk away and forget him. Hard to do but that really is the best thing for you. You will have no real affect on him. If he's a sociopath, which you might not even know for sure, that's the best thing to do.
ReplyDeleteGrace
If a person wishes to benefit from being associated with you, you take them down by severing the association. Pretty simple.
ReplyDelete@thedailyg:
ReplyDeleteMy point wasn't to be prideful of my deeds, it was to poke a hole in the stereotype of a sociopath doing good for ill ends.
The point was also that we aren't compelled to do good or bad from some sort of conscience or moral compass, and if you think otherwise, you truly have no idea how it is we think, as clear as it has been spelled out in the past.
Being moved to do good is perfectly acceptable and noble in some sense, but so is doing good for the sake of deciding to do good.
There is no conscience. You want to know the 'centre' at which we act from? To destroy boredom and monotony, to entertain, to affect. When you give food to the poor, it is to help the less fortunate, and to ease your conscience by helping others. When I do it, it's to see their smile, their gratitude that someone didn't flick another nickel at them in passing. I feel that 'feel good' rush. It's incredibly fleeting, but I like it nonetheless.
The bottom line is this though, the less fortunate have a stomach full of food. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. When it comes to known sociopaths doing good, it seems that such is always the case.
Sometimes effect weighs more than intent.
But the reason that it's called emotion is that it moves us to action. So ultimately your actions are driven by emotion of some sort, too. Otherwise you would just lie down and die in a state of total apathy.
ReplyDeleteWonderful point. Thank you for pointing that out.
@ Used Anonymous:
ReplyDeleteIf you've made the correct assessment, then there is no romantic tug from this relationship, he's basically using you as a mask and safehouse. Get rid of him if this is in fact the case. If you don't live with him, just cut it off, if you do, you're going to have to break it off with him by being more of an inconvenience than you are as a benefit for his cover. M.E. covers 'how to break up with a sociopath' on this blog.
Save the cheerleader save the world
ReplyDeleteDo gooder sociopaths? Do-gooderpath? Ha ha. This whole comment section is filled with apolagies for doing good. Its pointless. All people have selfish reasons for doing good. Even people pleasers. They want recognition for being a good person, and feel good about themselves even though they are insignificant.
ReplyDeleteWhat about the chaos and the fun you could be having if you would just stop all this good nonsense? You find any excuse to keep towing the line. It sounds to me like you are toolapaths.
toolapath
ReplyDeleteLove it. Now every time I do something apparently nice I'm going to smile to my self..."Pythias, you are such a toolapath. Just cut this bitch." :-P
Yay for Ukan, for saying what I'm too bored to articulate.
ReplyDeleteNotablePath, not to gang up on you, but you seem more like a narcissist with a superiority/sage/God complex and delusions of grandeur (thanks Aerianne) than a sociopath.
I don't doubt that you are intelligent, but you should really read more Plato.
Thank god UKan came in and put an end to this drivel. Beat me to the punch, not that I mind.
ReplyDeleteIf you spend all your time being awful, then the few acts of kindness you do are remembered and cherished.
ReplyDeleteWords to live by. I do so love it when we agree, UKan.
ReplyDeleteI agree, the occasional contrast can be memorable, but probably because it's so damn curious.
ReplyDeleteSpecial snowflakes will always eventually melt when the sun comes out.
ReplyDeleteFacts; you have to love facts.
ReplyDeleteMe too.
ReplyDeleteActs of kindness should only be a smokescreen. Unless its the few important people in your life, a act of kindness should be precipitated by a plan of how to make that person dependent on that act and how to keep them dependent as long as possible.
It's fairly self-evident psychology, really. Just as a rat will shy away from a shock and gravitate toward food, people will remember the wonderful things and forget the shit. The most important thing, of course, is to keep the timing random. Conditioning works best when you keep them guessing.
ReplyDeleteInteresting. I can understand the narcissist, sage/god complex tendencies from an analytical point of view in a limited extent, but it does seem to conflict with some of NPD's classic labels. Though through this journey of becoming self-aware, I've noticed more than a few so-called classic labels being debunked.
ReplyDeleteOut of all of the bullet-points for causes in the Wiki article of NPD, I didn't have one in common that I can think of.
I don't have much of a desire for riches, fame, or woman. I like actual criticism for mistakes, because I like to know when I've screwed up. I don't think anyone's actually envious of me, nor require admiration of others. If anything, I seem to attract quite the opposite and in some bizarre way enjoy the antagonistic flavors.
I will give them points for being arrogant, lacking empathy, being exploitive and a large ego. Then again, I think that's pretty common with sociopaths, too.
I do agree though, hesitantly, that I am probably being delusional to some extent here. It could be the religious background I had. I'm not part of that circle anymore, and know there's no redemption for the unrepentant.
I disagree with you though, UKan, about simply using people to your own ends. Then again, I can only expect so much from an ex-con, with what I consider a warped a view on life, in the same way you probably consider mine to be ridiculous.
A lot of life (for me) has been deception to some extent, and doing good deeds does a smashing job of being a smoke-screen. What I don't agree is the exclusivity of its usage.
There's opportunity everyday to get people who are dependent on you even more dependent. Yesterday someone who was working for me lost some of the items I gave them to sell. I was in a hurry and might have miscounted, but I wasn't sure. My first thought was to make her pay for it or it would show weakness. Instead I did a move she didn't expect, which was forgive her. Now she loves me more than ever and she is already improving how much she earns. Of course before this I put her through hell and never tolerated loss. It is important to build a image and use it to its fullest advantage, and sieze every opportunity to make yourself more indisposable for people so you are constantly in their lives benefiting from it.
ReplyDeleteTNP, I didn't say NPD, I just said narcissistic. You get points, though, for not getting defensive or reactive, which is what I usually expect from most people.
ReplyDeleteJust for the record, I wasn't speaking of Note when I said, "Delusions of grandeur".
ReplyDeleteI think it's interesting that none of us are out doing Halloween crap right now, or at least it appears that way.
ReplyDeleteAre we all just a bunch of anti-social (the popular connotation of the word) loners or what?
It's only 1 o'clock here. Halloween only started an hour ago.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I don't think I'll be doing anything.
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ReplyDeleteShows how US centric I am. I always assume everyone lives here, unless they have the letters "UK" in their name or add u's to certain words or switch their r's and e's around.
ReplyDeleteI do live here. Just on the East Coast. :D
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh. Well seeing as that the real Halloween is on Sunday, most people are out doing stuff tonight.
ReplyDeleteAll my "friends" are so into it, I'm the only one I know staying in. I don't get it, unless you have young kids.
Everyday is Halloween to me.
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ReplyDeleteI'm East Coast as well. I'm obviously lame and on my computer instead of out wreaking havoc.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI'd be into a metal Halloween. Or a witchy one. Though I was always a solitary.
ReplyDeleteI'm just not into the "oh now we have an excuse to buy outfits at the porn store" stuff.
I was gonna go visit my sister and spend time with the niece/nephew which I would have enjoyed, but lo, I didn't.
Also, I'm in a mood for some reason.
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ReplyDeleteLast year on Halloween I had the most peaceful night of my life with... that one guy, even in the midst of a crowd.
ReplyDeleteMaybe that's a subconscious reason why I'm in such a mood.
Sure it is, Medusa. It bites.
ReplyDeleteOh Aerianne, hell yeah for horror punk! Last Caress is one of my all-time favorites from Misfits. It pulls off the light catchy pop-punk with totally depraved lyrics. Those guys were genius.
ReplyDelete♫♫ I got something to say ♫♫
I killed your baby today
And it doesn't matter much to me
As long as it's dead
Well I got something to say
I raped your mother today
And it doesn't matter much to me
As long as she spread
Sweet lovely death
I am waiting for your breath
♫♫ Come sweet death, one last caress ♫♫
Goddamn, that song is just too catchy and upbeat to not be stuck in your head all day... Sort of dangerous to be singing at the workplace, ha!
And Medusa, I'd agree with narcissistic tendencies, and it would appear I'm not the only one. There's no point in being defensive for the sake of being defensive, especially if you might or are wrong, unless you just want to aggravate someone.
Also, UKan, that tactic has worked for me quite a few times in the past, however I've had to reinforce it with merciless punishment for a repeat offense, just so that they know that I'm not all bark and no bite, as I'm sure you do as well.
Whatever. Eff the so-called crusade. If I'm being delusional about it, may as well make it a purely analytical and informative blargh. That's how I am, naturally, anyway. Being a bastard sure is more fun...
During my afternoon nap today I had a dream that my childhood-through-high-school-and-some-college best friend pulled out one of my teeth on purpose because she thought it was funny. A couple minutes later I tracked her down and crushed her jaw with one hand.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had some weed.
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ReplyDeleteHeh, seems Danzig is a theme around here.
ReplyDeleteTNP, I've admitted here myself that I'm narcissistic more than anything else. So when I call you narcissistic, it's not necessarily a judgement upon you.
You guys should be proud of me. I put my mask on and went to a costume party and stayed until after the first couple left.
ReplyDeleteMedusa, I adore your bitter soul, lol!
ReplyDeleteSomeone commented on a band photo of me the other day saying I looked like I was in Samhain.
ReplyDeleteI take that as a compliment.
Oh and Medusa, you do realize you gave him points for something you both would easily predict/avoid right? Pointless points.
ReplyDeleteHeh - Anon tried to make a mask joke here.
ReplyDeleteYep, Medusa; doesn't even matter which Samhain member they meant. Take it as a compliment.
ReplyDeleteI didn't try, I succeeded. It's always nice when you can say one thing and genuinely mean both.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of masks, I chuckle when I hear people get angry about someone being two-faced.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine only have two faces. How dreadful.
Oh and Medusa, you do realize you gave him points for something you both would easily predict/avoid right?
ReplyDeleteI think I know what you are getting at, but I'm not sure. Clarify.
Aerianne, seeing as that I don't usually sport facial hair nor am I a blond and also that for no reason I'm kind of muscular, I'm thinking Danzig is the most likely candidate.
There were several non-blonde members of Samhain. If you're close to only 5'2", Danzig may be who they meant.
ReplyDeleteHeh. If I was that short I'd be a much more bitter person than I already am.
ReplyDeleteLol, that's why Glenn's so evil, Medusa. I don't know why, but I get a Steve Zing vibe from you.
ReplyDeleteBecause you're special to me I'm going to first assume you acquired the weed you were looking for. However, I would love it much more if PM were to clarify instead.
ReplyDeleteNo, I still don't have any and probably won't for many days to come.
ReplyDeletePrepare for a general increase in vitriol and impatience.
Suddenly it seems very odd to me that "won't" is a contraction of "will not".
ReplyDeleteEnglish; you have to love English.
ReplyDeleteWe could reinvent the language but we're too lazy. I'm sorry about your impatience Medusa, but I can't let you ruin my fun either. Don't use it as an excuse to be even more bitter <3
ReplyDeleteThat one dude I used to hang with never, ever used contractions in writing, and used a lot of archaic wordage. Even in text messages.
ReplyDeleteVerbally he talks like the modern metal head that he is.
Gotta love transparent affectations.
On the topic of Danzig, I've been listening to I'm the One on repeat for the last 30 some-odd minutes.
ReplyDeleteAnd...now I cannot unsee the odd 'won't' contraction, Medusa. Then again, will't sounds a bit off and too much like wilt.
It's all good though, I've got Danzig blasting in my ears.
Total shot in the dark, Medusa, but were you ever in a band that had Trybe as part of it's name?
ReplyDeleteNote, if you haven't, you should listen to the new c.d., Deth Red Sabaoth.
ReplyDeleteAnyone here in the medical profession?
ReplyDeleteI found some expired promethasize/codeine syrup in the kitchen yesterday.
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ReplyDeleteAerianne, nope, not I.
ReplyDeleteOk, Medusa. It was a long shot.
ReplyDeleteHah ha ha I just looked up the syrup and it's known in the hip-hop community as "Purple Drank".
ReplyDeletehahahh visions of Chappelle within this here bottle.
If you want a good night's sleep, that's your potion.
ReplyDeleteGood, because I haven't slept right in days.
ReplyDeleteThe Promethazine aka Phenergan, makes me very sleepy when I take it and codeine is always a bonus.
ReplyDeleteYou people are a bunch of goths. I knew it.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I would love it much more if PM were to clarify instead.
ReplyDeleteI thought my ears were burning.
Perhaps our anonymous friend just thought Notable to be currying favor with the regulars so we'll read his blog? Or avoiding the obvious trap of becoming defensive when one's own delusions are questioned?
Hardly worth points, in any case.
Hardly, UKan, but I've missed you, too.
ReplyDeleteHa ha, I've missed you people too. Fucking busy this time of year.
ReplyDeleteNotable is trying to fit his square head in a round hole. Unfortunately doing so causes quite a mess.
PMS's second analysis is what I had in mind.
ReplyDeleteFine, then, I'll keep the points to myself! I thought I was being magnanimous.
Ooooh, Post if your ears were burning, that's psychic, which is very close to empathetic...Halloween IS spooky!!!
ReplyDeleteA sociopath shamelessly advertising his blog, avoiding traps and currying favor with others?
ReplyDeleteTy Postmodern, and yes your ears were burning lol. It was more the latter than the first.
ReplyDeleteOh and Noteable, don't worry. I understand your message, and I'm not a con like them either.
ReplyDeleteTheNotablePath said...
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of masks, I chuckle when I hear people get angry about someone being two-faced.
I can't imagine only have two faces. How dreadful.
lol
TheNotablePath said...
ReplyDeleteThis is who we are, love it or hate it, you silly, irrational empaths. We're everywhere, and although you're easy prey, you're not all on the menu, and even if you were, it doesn't mean we're interested in specifically you.
bwahahahaha... nice contribution, Notable.
i agree with you that choosing to do good is more profound than being compelled to do good. way more profound. if you're compelled by morals, social norms or emotions, i don't see how that is any less self-serving than doing it because you expect some return. in that case you're getting an immediate emotional return.
if a selfless act for a sociopath is to do good when there is nothing to gain, then i wonder if for an empath, a truly selfless act might be one that overrides the morals, social norms or emotions, somehow. such as to do good when you just don't care. is such detachment possible for an empath?
if it is, isn't such selflessness ultimately identical to that of the sociopath?
Detachment is perfectly possible for empaths. It's just that they have to make the conscious effort to do so.
ReplyDeletei like working in parallels.
ReplyDeletei'm not likely to beat someone up generally as i prefer to solve things peacefully. but if i do punch someone, i'll still relatively be a peaceful person.
and vice versa.
when you don't want to help someone, and you do, you do it out of obligation, often reluctantly, sometimes you show that reluctance, sometimes you don't. in many cases, i help because i'm compelled to from a personal place, there's no pre-meditated thinking behind it, it's just spontaneous. for me personally, rarely if ever is it a mixture of the two.
there's no such thing as a third option of doing something 'when you just don't care.' for me, as an extreme empath, there's no no man's land when it comes to emotion. it's always there, i'm either wanting to help, or reluctant to, (cos i can be lazy and selfish too and everyone has limits).
i can't speak for all empaths, like i said i'm not typical.
B
You've got it wrong if you think empaths are attached to everybody and everything in the world. Detachment is not a conscious effort. Detachment means you aren't concerned with something and it's as easily experienced by empaths as not.
ReplyDeletelol i did say i was not typical. i tend to have an opinion on most things, and yes, on a few things i don't, but it's rare for me. i'm quite reactive most of the time and so to compensate i make the effort not to care, or rather, my brain tries to do that for me.
ReplyDeleteB
the thing is, when they experience their emotional/ethical strings being jerked and they don't want to act, the empath response is to experience resentment. because they can't face that resentment honestly, they blame the "other".
ReplyDeleteso they either give money to a street person and feel virtuous for it, or they refuse to and turn it around and assume he's a lazy bum and feel virtuous for not giving up their hard earned money. either way the empath tendency is to turn it into an advantage emotionally. so, in a way we're all sociopaths.
but empaths deify their emotions, which are a often nothing more than a convenient mask for true motivations.
doing something when you don't care is doing it just because you can.
zoe
ReplyDeletethat's not a bad point, except rational empaths don't deify their emotions at all, they know there are root motivations to everything we ever do. like i said before, emotions and the use of calculated logic are just short-cuts to acting out those inherent motivations.
there is no argument between 'good' and 'evil' other than amongst the imbeciles of this world who think their way is the 'right' way cos they haven't looked at basic science.
B
@Aerianne: When I mean making a conscious choice to detach, it's more along the lines of a situation where you normally would be attached, like say, a friend, a good coworker, or if you have a penchant for helping out the less fortunate, an especially work-out and sad looking homeless person.
ReplyDeleteThis world would be insane (moreso) if every person capable of a full range of feelings felt something about every person that met or heard about... I have plenty of friends and acquaintances that subscribe to the, "I don't give a ****," philosophy in regards to people they don't know, or don't care to.
hehe maybe we should create the distinction of sociopaths mostly choosing to be good and psychopaths as those who just do whatever suits their agenda (and can get away with).
ReplyDelete@B
"i can be lazy and selfish too and everyone has limits"
when you come on this site do you feel like you are a way-above-average good person and therefore feel less guilty about not doing more?
@rescognitas
ReplyDelete"i can be lazy and selfish too and everyone has limits"
when you come on this site do you feel like you are a way-above-average good person and therefore feel less guilty about not doing more?'
lol is that a dig? if i felt i was a 'way-above-average good person' i wouldn't be on this site. if you read all my comments you'd get that i don't put much weight on words like 'good'.
and yes, i feel guilty for not doing more. but i make the effort to not beat myself up about it.
B
B said...
ReplyDeletethat's not a bad point, except rational empaths don't deify their emotions at all, they know there are root motivations to everything we ever do. like i said before, emotions and the use of calculated logic are just short-cuts to acting out those inherent motivations.
then surely you're not so reactive (which seems like an uber-empath trait to me).
Non-empaths, at least those not in control, can also definitely be just as reactive.
ReplyDeleteUsually in the form of rage, revenge and criticism. Which are all just forms of fear turned outward.
oh yah the narcissists. good point.
ReplyDeletelol: "This is who we are, love it or hate it, you silly, irrational empaths. We're everywhere, and although you're easy prey, you're not all on the menu, and even if you were, it doesn't mean we're interested in specifically you."
ReplyDeletethis sounds more like a pretentious self hater than a sociopah
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