Every year when people ask me my new year's resolutions I tell them the same thing -- watch every episode of the Simpsons. It gives them a bit of a laugh and it gets me out of answering the question truthfully, the truth being that I never make resolutions. What's the point? I have to con and incentivize myself to do pretty much all the good things I currently do and use all of my willpower to keep my worst impulses in check. There is no room in my fully-leveraged life for trying to give up bad habits or gain new ones. In fact, I'm ecstatic if I manage to not gain any more bad or lose any good in any particular year, entropy being the universal force that it is.
This year I had a bit of an epiphany, though. Everyone makes resolutions. I'm losing out on a lot of "normalcy" points by not making a resolution list. I should just make a fake one and leave it out where people can see it and read it. For those of my intimate associates that do read it, it will make me seem even more transparent/open/normal. Right? What do you think of this for a sample list:
This year I had a bit of an epiphany, though. Everyone makes resolutions. I'm losing out on a lot of "normalcy" points by not making a resolution list. I should just make a fake one and leave it out where people can see it and read it. For those of my intimate associates that do read it, it will make me seem even more transparent/open/normal. Right? What do you think of this for a sample list:
1. Budget better.Right mix of banal and aspirational? Any other suggestions? Or real resolutions?
2. Learn to count to 10 in a new language.
3. Floss twice (!) a day.
4. Give two compliments for every criticism.
5. Laugh more.
6. Get to sleep before midnight.
7. Take a junior college intro to statistics class.
8. Exercise weekly
9. Eat more vegetables.
10. Stop grinding teeth.
Go for it, ME.
ReplyDeleteMy New Years resolutions:
1. Don't murder my co-worker, Steve
2. Finish watching Comedy Central Presents on Netflix
3. Get my co-worker Steve fired as to fulfill resolution #1.
Ex co-worker of course being the loop hole.
ReplyDeleteI don't think not making any new years resolutions makes you seem odd or lose out on 'normalcy' points.
ReplyDeleteI'm not making a list and I don't know anyone that is.
As for your list, it seems fine. I'm not sure what people normally put on these apart from giving up smoking or a new diet or something.
As for number 7, you should choose a more interesting class than statistics.
Ironically enough, New Years Resolutions always seem to be somewhat of a joke. People rarely admit it, but they know that most of their resolutions will never be met. It is more of a way to present their general faults that they want to fix. It is also ironic that a large majority of New Years Resolutions are the same. There are even lists that chart the common resolutions:http://www.usa .gov/Citizen/New_Years/Topics_Resolutions.shtml
ReplyDeletePersonally, I find that your list is the "right mix". It has enough general New Years Resolutions that other people can recognize and approve of.
I do find the whole practice of New Year resolutions a bit silly though. If someone wants to change their life, why don't they start immediately; instead of waiting for certain date.
I want to ripped to shreds! For the summer, so I'm going to join a gym. :)
ReplyDeleteNew years resolutions are a fad invented to lessen the damage caused by the public, every resolution you make for yourself is restricting oneself.
ReplyDeleteOkay, nap time !!!
ReplyDeleteI wonder if UKan made it into the new year LOL
ReplyDeleteI made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.
ReplyDeleteYou know I'm sitting here reading the DSM for narcissistic personality disorder & there is no differences from psychopathy, grandiose sense of self worth (but fragile) lack of remorse, or guilt, uncontrollable rage and projection, how can you tell them apart?
ReplyDeleteI've always wanted to open a new business on January 1st that is a gym but that turns into a bar 3-4 weeks in.
ReplyDeleteDo you think it would be successful?
F.J.
Good for you, M.E. I'm totally stealing the flossing one next year.
ReplyDeleteI have a fake list too:
1. Read two non-fiction books each month.
2. Volunteer 6 hours each month.
3. Cook with more fresh vegetables.
I actually already do all of this, but they are things that no one but my husband know about and they sound good. :)
" I have to con and incentivize myself to do pretty much all the good things I currently do and use all of my willpower to keep my worst impulses in check. There is no room in my fully-leveraged life for trying to give up bad habits or gain new ones. "
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a plan for a year.
I'm going to try get two kills each month, instead of the one.
ReplyDeleteThat's the spirit.
ReplyDeleteNotable, Vaknin states that sociopaths are usually ruthless career criminals, their acts of violence are premeditated and ruthless. Are you a ruthless career criminal? I think UKan has a case.
ReplyDeleteI'd agree that they usually are calculating, ruthless, and criminal. Career criminal? I'd say most career criminals are sociopaths, but not that most sociopaths are career criminals. Does Vaknin have any data to lay stake to this claim? Or is it his typical Narcissist apologist propaganda?
ReplyDeleteI've never made a new year's resolution. All I need to do every day is to try not to be as lame as I was yesterday.
ReplyDeleteNot that i know of, i just started to view his videos, he claims that some psychopaths are very anxiety prone, which i find hard to believe.
ReplyDeleteHe claims a lot of things based on opinion.
ReplyDeleteThough I do have to ask, what is your definition of career criminal, or better yet, Vaknin's?
There are some that need to resolve to stop trolling - - Starting NOW.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine what it would be like to be known for who and what you are?
Evidently not. How pathetic.
lol statistics.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like the sociopaths I have known are much more astute (as adults anyway) with sizing up other people, being able to predict the kind of reaction other people will have, etc. It always seems to me that there is a certain awareness to a sociopath that a narc just doesn't have.
ReplyDeleteIME sociopaths are also better in bed. Probably due to that very aware quality.
Socios tend to fool themselves a lot less than narcs.
ReplyDeleteSomething about Sam Vaknin hurts me when i listen. His videos are like a direct attack at me. He makes me afraid. Please someone explain. All he says is like a hammer hitting me.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't do anything in front of him :|
ReplyDeleteодин - adeen - one
ReplyDeleteдва - dva - two
три - tree - three
четыре - chyetirye - four
пять - pyat - five
шесть - shyest - six
семь - syem - seven
восемь - vosyem - eight
девять - dyevyat - nine
десять - dyesyat - ten
You're welcome.
Also, for the sake of completeness:
ReplyDeleteноль - nol - zero
I'm a little behind from the rest of you. I assume from the stories I've read that I'm a bit younger.
ReplyDeleteMy new years resolution this year was to show my parents and close friends a little kindness. I have a habit of being charming towards someone until I unconsciously see that they will not leave or boredom sets in. At which point, I find enjoyment out of hurting them. I don't know why, it's just... amusing.
I told myself before the ball dropped, since my parents always forced me to stand with them as a "family", that I would stand with them and smile. That was all I had to do. It seems so simple in restrospect, but even that act would only receive a B- at best. It's a start I suppose. I'm treating the new years resolution as an experiment. To see how much willpower I have and how much I can do with this gift of manipulation.
-------
In regards to the questions involving narcissism and psychopathy,
I recommend reading some books specifically on personality disorders, and I'm not referring to the "How To Deal With" type but the ones written by psychiatrists.
Otto F. Kernberg happens to be one of my favorites. The points stressed in most of these books/texts are the origins for these personality disorders. This is where you will find the difference. We can sit here all day and tell you how we think, and a narcissist (somewhere out there) may even think the same way. [I can't disprove it, so I'll assume it's possible.] The only way to truly know how we differ is not from the DSM's poor instructional guide (which is meant for clinical and diagnostic use from the position of the psychologist, not from everyday people), but in our ingrained thought patterns. There is a method of thinking for seeking reward and avoiding punishment (or sometimes seeking punishment for reward).
I could go on, but I do recommend reading some material. It will reveal how most disorders arise (psychoses, personality disorders, and neuroses) from fantasy/reality associations, object/self associations, and good/bad object associations. All important for mature development of the psyche.
you russian post?
ReplyDeleteRussian enough, I suppose. It's one of the languages I made it a point to learn a number of years ago.
ReplyDeleteShould've been Eastern Orthodox... would've been so much easier. :/
Oh very nice with the Russian. :)
ReplyDeleteEasier? What you mean?
ReplyDeleteME's post has nada with sociopathy
ReplyDeleteThe Russian Orthodox Church is the largest of the Eastern Orthodox congregations, prevalent in the US and Russian-speaking Slavic states. I think Greek Orthodox is next in line after that.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, many ROC congregations teach Church Slavonic and Russian, so it would have given me an earlier opportunity to learn.
I don't know about the prevalence of Russian Orthodoxy in Western Europe or the world at large, but it may be quite common in those places, as well. I realized that the above comment sounds a bit like it's nonexistent elsewhere, and I don't want to give that impression.
ReplyDeleteHm. I have been wondering, how hygienic are sociopaths?
ReplyDeletehow hygienic are sociopaths?
ReplyDeleteReally?
I'm really liking #3 on this list.
ReplyDeletePythias? Really?
ReplyDeleteOne obviously can't answer such a general question accurately anon.
ReplyDeleteMy ex took care of himself as best as he could. He didn't eat good food though and never went to the dentist. But he was always clean and smelled nice.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure to him I seemed like a brat. I only eat organic foods..I never eat fast food, I'd rather go hungry and wait..unless it's pizza. I love pizza.
My whatever guy was always very clean. Never saw him brush his teeth and he always had candy and coke by the bedside that he would wake up and consume several times during the night.
ReplyDeleteHis teeth must have been made of titanium. His bottom teeth were tiny like baby teeth so maybe they were fake due to too much H use. It was strange how tiny they were. I only could see them if I was deliberately inspecting his mouth.
wv: repro
My ex was fastidious about keeping himself clean. His surroundings, not so much.
ReplyDeleteI miss that dumbass and his stupid flaws.
ReplyDeleteHeh, i always down like four bottles of cola most days and my teeth are still white, Forget to brush them too. I try to eat good food sometimes, although i mostly go out and eat fast food. I take my body hygiene very seriously, i have a morning routine that keeps my skin nice, and obviously a shower first thing in the morning.
ReplyDeleteChildren born to cocaine abusing mothers often have only baby teeth and no permanent teeth.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous
ReplyDeleteInteresting, deb, didn't know that. I don't think his mother was a druggie though but who knows. Maybe it was some other congenital thing.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I ever saw his top teeth. He didn't smile.
ReplyDeletewv:smingl
these wvs are starting freak me out in a Big Brother sort of way
Loki your long post just now showed up, FYI. Sometimes posts do that here.
ReplyDeletelol..I've had freaky wv too Medusa. Means nothing though.
ReplyDeleteI've never done H. I wonder what the high is like..not like smoking a wad of pot?
I used to smoke tons of pot and some coke back in the day. Never did pills either.
I used to this but never did that either. Lovely english structure. did you do mushroom?
ReplyDeletenever did mushrooms..nope. and you?
ReplyDeleteRelevant.
ReplyDeleteI just went into a rage and cussed out my aunt. I live with her now and she think i am crazy because i treat her very badly. I was in the kitchen a few minutes ago minding my own business, i heard her talking on the phone, i have amazing hearing for some reason, i can tune in on conversations from from quite a distance, anyway she told her sister that i need to be on medication to balance my bad moods.
ReplyDeleteI stuck my head in the room to show her i was there, i had been listening for five minutes as she bashed my image, so i walked in and she whispered "I can't say anything hes here" she was visibly afraid and i fed on her fear, i was ready to explode.
I went insane, i was going to punch her only for the fact that id have no place to crash, i smashed the cup i was drinking coffee from onto the kitchen floor and told her to clean it, i told her over a hundred times that she is capitally fucked, i said she crossed the line and that i am going to destroy her. After five minutes of degrading this bitch in every possible way i picked up a knife and held it to her neck, i swear i could have did it. I told her that if she ever tries to give me a bad name i will butcher her.
She is down stairs shaking, i feel great, i know she won't gossip about me any time soon.
Glad that you felt the overpowering urge to come and brag to internet strangers immediately, kiddo. I don't know what I would have done without that story to keep me going.~
ReplyDeleteshe could call the cops on you. then you'll be in big trouble nevermind your name...you'll have a funny name in jail. CHILL.
ReplyDeleteThanks, i visit this place often, just thought id give you something to read, to relieve your boredom and my homicidal rage. What would you have done if you heard a friend or whatever speaking ill of you?
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea how abuse works Grace, i have complete control now, she wont question me.
ReplyDeletesheesh Adam.
ReplyDeleteYou're right..I don't.
ReplyDeleteI don't give my friends or family any reason to speak of me that way. Maybe the sociopaths here can help you. I'm not one.
I wonder what it's like getting caught talking about a sociopath, you might might as well pull down your pants and get ready for the spanking that's going to come.
ReplyDeleteFor Postmodern
ReplyDeleteOnce you Cressp, you just can't splessp!
ReplyDeleteI think I'll pass actually. hehe
ReplyDeleteWhen is the last time you lost the rag, Postmodern Sociopath?
ReplyDeleteDepends how angry you mean. I don't really do the "blind rage" thing. I'm purposeful when I'm angry.
ReplyDeleteRelevant to Adam
ReplyDeleteI like turtles.
ReplyDeleteYour aunt's sister, as in another sibling, or your parent? Why are you living with her now?
ReplyDeleteAlthough the abuse can be intoxicating, shit in your own backyard for too long and you'll be neck deep in your own dung.
i know what blind rage feels like Adam though i'm not socio. I've ostracised myself (through choice) from family in the past and I've been temporarily kicked out too.
ReplyDeleteBut family are never gonna go away. Maybe taking a break from them will help. Stop scrounging basically and get your own place. You simply can't treat your aunt like shit and stay there without consequences. If i was your aunt, i would have called the police, repercussions or not.
Yup NotablePath my mom, i don't call her that anymore though.
ReplyDeleteThey got me out because i was becoming increasingly violent, and my aunt was the only one who'd take me. I know i am sociopath, i haven't felt bad about anything i have done.
Everything i do is calculated notme, if i was mister nice guy and i cleaned up after myself, i would have more of a chance of her asking me for some rent, it's survival.
ReplyDeleteFamily is odd for me.
ReplyDeleteI have no special bond with family members, certainly no care for them, with the exception of one of my parents. Yet, I know that they see family as a big deal, and so I make it a point to make family seem important.
Often times the bonds I make with some friends and lovers are stronger than I have with any family members. I consider them family, I guess, because I guess that's what it's supposed to be like to be close.
Funny story, Adam. Why did you feel that holding a knife to her throat was more acceptable than punching her?
ReplyDeleteI used to think they were abusing me, like when i was told no when id ask for money, id kick doors and scream until i got what i wanted, it's great being away from the family though, I'm officially my own man now, fending for myself.
ReplyDeleteHi Misanthrope, I'm not sure, i think physically assaulting her would go way over the line, I'm not afraid to do it it's just, she isn't a complete push over, she would call the police, I'm sure. Would have been interesting though, i guarantee the cops would have been thinking she was the crazy one.
ReplyDeleteHow are you your own man, if you are living with your aunt?
ReplyDeleteso, you don't work, don't pay rent, and somehow you call that survival?
ReplyDeleteI'm confused, how are you fending for yourself if you're living off your aunt?
And i understand not calling your mum 'mum.' What did she do to you? Not give you any money when you wanted it and so you hate her?
Physical abuse is usually only "tolerated" with domestic disputes. As the two of them are (hopefully) not lovers, that would be a slim chance. Threatening violence versus enacting it is a pretty big goddamn difference.
ReplyDeleteSounds like you didn't have a disciplinary household, Adam. My old man would have probably beat you silly for being such a twat.
I'm not dependent on her, if she wants me to go then fine! But you all know how it is, sometimes you have to use others as utilities.
ReplyDeleteIf you're afraid of her calling the police why would you put a knife to her throat instead of beating her? Putting a knife to someones throat is worse.
ReplyDelete"Putting a knife to someones throat is worse."
ReplyDeleteThat's what I was thinking.
At this point she is used to those threatening mannerisms, i use a ton of passive aggressive tactics on her, like spitting in her milk if she talks back to me. I think she believes that i would never go over the edge and actually use it.
ReplyDeleteLast night I backhanded someone. It felt great.
ReplyDeleteYou can't prove it unless he left a mark with the blade. A broken nose or a black eye however isn't going to be fooling anyone.
ReplyDeleteExactly Notable, oops that anon post up there is mine too.
ReplyDeleteWhy, does she see you as a coward?
ReplyDeletePics or it didn't happen. There are whole forums for "misunderstood, but totally cool and popular... also, I don't feel fear" goth kids... this is not one of them.
ReplyDeleteNope, i guess she sees how nice i am in public to others, I'm not talking about giving to beggars, i mean i rarely degrade someone in public or make a scene, I'm a different person in private, she even smiles sometimes when i throw things on the floor and then demand that she cleans it.
ReplyDeleteHa ha. At first I was laughing because 2011 has only just kicked off, and it's already gone to shit for this guys aunt. Now I laughing at the thought of him running down stairs, yelling "suprise" and the taking a snapshot of his sobbing aunt.
ReplyDeleteI don't need any of you to believe me, I'm calm now, an hour ago my face was prune red, thoughts were racing, i was making up plans on how to ruin this persons image. I don't care about this person enough to destroy her.
ReplyDeleteMisanthrope: A happy new year, indeed.
ReplyDeleteROFL @ Misanthrope.
ReplyDeleteShit, she is not the only one who got off to a bad start, i ruined my good coffee cup. :(
I hired somebody to guard me from myself. I couldn't stop stomping on people and its become costly. This guy told me he didn't understand why I needed him for protection, since I put in so much work. I told him he was a deterrent for people to not say the wrong thing to test me, and thereby making me fly off the cuff.
ReplyDeleteLast night this guy walked in and started competing for business. I couldn't believe it. I walked up with my new soldier and told him that he needed to move on, there is a operation already. Turned out to be some italian idiot. I toldem to give me his word that he wouldn't compete and he could stay and have a good time. He told me to watch him, and I said I'm not a babysitter. He ended up giving me his word.
Now, I didn't front this guy off in front of his friends, or publicly embarrass this idiot. I took him aside privately, which is what I usually do.
My soldier asked why I didn't let him do his job. Because his job is the best part, that's why. As soon as my soldier went to the bathroom the italian guy sat across from me and said I wasn't shit without a guard. I backslapped him hard and quick. He jumped up shocked and angry. I asked him what he wanted to do. The crowd all started grabbing him and taking him out of the club.
He told security about me hitting him and the security laughed at him and asked him what he did to deserve it.
The benefits of popular support.
I don't think you put a knife to her throat.
ReplyDeleteThe situation calls for gaslighting. You should gaslight her into confusion and you will have complete control of the huse.
Ps you got rss, can you repost that for me
ReplyDeleteI don't know what gaslighting is?
ReplyDeleteIf you mean your last comment, I think it went through.
ReplyDeleteI'm shifting shape this new yr. No more lies,predatory stares,stealing petty things,pinching babies when their parents arn't looking,acting helplessness,disorganizations,masks,card & word games,nocturnal hunts,rampages,immodesty,arrogance,mystery,smokes. how's that
ReplyDeleteBaby steps, petra.
ReplyDeleteSounds boring
ReplyDeleteYou people must be bored silly because I know that most of you aren't this gullible and naive. It's disgusting that you'd discuss anything with this poser.
ReplyDeleteWho's discussing? I just want him to post a picture of him gutting his aunt. :D
ReplyDeleteGaslighting is where you make people confused by warping their reality. You can start by isolating her from the rest of your family. If you had any good rep left with your family, this would be a cake walk, but you fucked all that up. Now you will have to create a rift between her and anyone else around her.
ReplyDeletebtw, that's not ukan
ReplyDeletethe new years resolution has to be one of the most, if not the most, irritating things cooked up my humanity.
ReplyDeletejust my two cents
i know a nephew just like adam. kicked out of aunt's house, with grandma now, and the aunt is in therapy. aunt also sick anyway, so his rage was the best he could do, she did not have the ballocks to kick him out otherwise.. funny that guy calls himself a man too. men with balls of peas.
ReplyDeleteEver wonder why all this loser's stories are about his family? He has no friends. The best his imagination can come up with is lies about family. He doesn't know enough about people outside his family to even make up lies about them.
ReplyDeleteIf you cant stand on your own feet, you're a loser in my eyes.
ReplyDeleteI want to hide, to run from my fear,
ReplyDeleteto run from myself.
How can I deserve such love?
I fear I'm not enough;
Soon, you'll see me as I am.
You'll leave me.
Out of my fear
I build a case against you.
Out of my fear of losing you,
I push at you to make you go away.
Out of fear of your leaving me,
my greatest fear occurs
I am alone
this is how high-functioning socios are created:
ReplyDeleteButtering up your boss is like painting a house; you don't want to lay it on too thick.
According to new research out of Northwestern University and the University of Michigan, overt ingratiation can backfire. Thankfully, the pair of professors behind the study were determined to find out how to kiss up correctly.
Drawing from previous research, a survey of Fortune 1000 executives and interviews with 42 directors at major corporations, the duet penned a primer on how to be a subtle and effective sycophant. Specifically, they looked at those who successfully talked their way into a board seat.
Here's what worked, straight from the ivory tower:
-- Make it uncomfortable: Preface compliments with a phrase like "I don't want to embarrass you, but..."
-- Frame it as a question: Asking for advice can be just as flattering as a compliment. And it's a lot easier for all parties involved to stomach.
-- Bait and switch: Disagree with your target and then gradually warm to their opinion. No one likes a "Yes" man, but everyone likes a "'No,' then 'Yes'" man.
-- Play the angles: Find a third-party, ideally a close confidant of your subject, and gush like a schoolgirl. Odds are, the praise will be passed on to its intended target.
-- Claim common ground: Pick a topic -- anything from religion to parenting techniques -- and make unsolicited statements and opinions about the matter that you think are also held by your target. Positive impressions will lower the red-flags on future praise.
-- Get clubby: Bring up social affiliations that you may have in common.
So who does it best? According to the study, those in law, politics and sales are much better and more practiced brownnosers than finance pros. There was a common thread, however. Sycophants who hailed from the upper-class were notably more skilled. Nothing groundbreaking there.
Woman with no fear.
ReplyDeleteAnother variant is to take opposing views on something very minor, and agreeing views on something major. It shows you have your own opinions and aren't afraid to assert yourself for them, but agree where it counts.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, mostly common sense I would think...
Do people seriously not know this stuff?
well, apparently i've got it down to a t. Sincerity works too you suckers!! ;)
ReplyDeletei'm in such a weird mood. i blame 2011.
Sin...certity? Let me break out my thess a mass a raus.
ReplyDeleteWrong site?
ReplyDeletelol Note.
Note... Oh, sweet Note... Feel the baby in my belly.
ReplyDeleteEveryone was being all entertaining and then you went away. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteI'm still here!
ReplyDeleteBut that 'notme' ^^^ isn't me. lol.
Maybe you should register your name, and then that won't happen. Just sayin'.
ReplyDeletei do think imposters are quite funny though.
ReplyDeleteOh yay :)
ReplyDeleteI love it here at mpdworld.com
ReplyDeleteme too!
ReplyDeleteI don't. I hate it.
ReplyDeletehey, Post, or anyone, have you seen Black Books? one of my faves.
ReplyDeleteHave not watched it, yet, but I downloaded it a few months ago. Perhaps I'll get to it sooner rather than later.
ReplyDeletesooner sooner!! :D
ReplyDeleteI still haven't showered. Or wiped.
ReplyDeletesex blocking hair
ReplyDeleteDylan Moran is a genius.
ReplyDeleteAerianne, hacked? o.0
ReplyDeleteYou dirty girl.
It sounds like you have too many resolutions. Most people can't even stick to just one. Toss out a few like the language thing and teeth grinding. Also, it's just as 'normal' to break your New Year's resolutions as it is to make them. It's all arbitrary anyways.
ReplyDeleteI never make New Year's resolutions. I've always felt that if something needed changing why wait for the new year, just start doing it.
Go big or go home, Haven. :D
ReplyDeleteCheers to that, Post =)
ReplyDeleteThere are lots of perfectly neurotypical people out there who don't do New Year resolutions, so I wouldn't sweat it, if I were you.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, your plan seems rather pointless and even counterproductive. Leaving a list around for people to find will make you seem oddly obsessed with New Year resolutions. It's better to say you never bother with New Year resolutions because you can't keep them.