Is my dad a sociopath? I need some opinions, I caught him snooping around in my room yesterday, he made up a lame excuse and told me he was looking out the window. We got into a huuge argument afterwards.
I'll post some of the things he said to me, can you guys tell me what it means in socio-speak? :)
Dad: Don't argue with me because you'll always lose, I'll crush you.
Dad: I'll tear you a new A **** if you keep questioning me.
Dad: You walk around with no confidence you need to be more proud of yourself like me.
That's not enough to say. Maybe if you could exemplify some behaviour of his that makes you think he is a sociopath. Like, what do you think he was doing in your room? And other things, tell us about him, what does he do, does he ever express love, does he cheat on your mother, have you seen signs of cruelty?
Heey! Nice to meet you Mike, thanks for replying. :)
I'll give you some more examples of his.
He used to beat my mom up all the time, we also found fake accounts he used for talking to underage girls with fake pictures etc that's why mom divorced him, i was always "daddies girl" so i decided to stay with him, i had looked to him for my confidence.
Ever since mom left he had start to use me as his new target, he would make gestures about me being overweight, now he is taking it way too far. :/
He can't apologize! Ive never heard him utter sorry once in my entire life, or thank you. He hates everybody, he can't even watch TV without making a bad remark about the characters or news anchors.
He honestly never buys me anything! He will buy a whole pizza for himself and wont offer me any even if I hadn't eaten in that day.
There are piles and piles of terrible things he has done but I cant think of them all right now.
I don't see him as a narcissist. while i was on love fraud looking for support i came across an article that said narcissists don't use physical violence to control.
Yeah, from what you said it is highly possible that he is a sociopath. I mean, this kind of irresponsible behaviour doesn't seem to stem somewhere else. He sounds like he is playing with you to avoid boredom. Everything he does seems to have this reason at root.
The fact that he told you to "walk with more confidence" makes it look like he has some feelings for you. But I see no genuine concern in all the other aspects.
Yeah, you might say that he is a sociopath. Maybe you could go to a psychologist and tell him all about your situation and maybe he can help you with advice on how to handle it.
Either that or he has some really big problems with his head.
Very much so, you can't get a pure personality disorder, it's always a whole cluster of different disorders. You will be named by your dominant features.
@Kelly, your dad sounds like a real piece of work. His abusive behavior will only worsen. He's probably a big cause for why you may not have the greatest confidence. Try to get as far away from him as you can. Living with him sounds like a very unsafe environment.
My Mom has been totally torn apart by him. She had to leave town just to stay alive. Well, she needed a lot of therapy. She comes to visit but doesn't come by the house. i can't blame her. Can you?
In the newspaper today is a story about a 15 yr. old gilr who stole anther 15 yr. old girls idenity 3 yrs. ago posting things to other teens on Facebook that had them going to this girls school to beat her up. Now their prosecuting her.
A year ago I wouldn't have spotted ASPD behavior as such, it goes so undetected. And no one really talked about it around me.
For this to be the enjoyment in your life is just plain sad.
So many other things to do with people around you then undermind them.
Stop giving this poor girl bad advice, Anon! I am sick and tired of watching everyone on this blog allow abusers to be abused! IT is SHAMEFUL what you people Do!!
But yeah she has left the home and is staying with relatives until she gets her head together, i didn't know what I'd be in for when she left, that is partly the reason why i stuck around.
It's so confusing how he turned on me like that.
Thanks Haven, have you ever had a similar experience? Hope you don't mind me asking. =)
He doesn't deserve you Kelly, he's not good enough to be called Dad.
Start planning your escape, because thats what it probly will come down to.
Go to the authorities if he's crosses any lines. Be dramatic blow the story up if you have to. Write the worst things down so you don't forget. Use what you wrote when the time comes.
Haven tell this girl about narcissists. They use psychology of manipulation to undermine everyone around them so they can feel better about themselves, Kelly. I don't know what your Dad has but he is using you to make himself feel better. He counts on your looking up to him for any shred of comfort. it makes him feel important. Eventually you will learn that it isn't your job to comfort him for his lack of self esteem. Your only job is to comfort you.
How does no one see this? Kelly plays the naive role and you people are swallowing it. How is someone playing to be ignorant in all this and turning around a comment later correcting you on narccissistic behaviour. I like the love fraud thing. Common ground is a good foot in the door. Especially when you aim it towards people who love to bash on lovefraud out of a need of outside approval from others. You don't fool me.
@Kelly.... Yeah, but not with my father. I lived with a guy that was incredibly abusive. Would tell me I should be one way and then if actually decided to do what he wanted he would tear me down and turn it against me. Blame me for the awful things he did, scream, lash out, manipulate, decieve, humiliate, and generally throw temper tantrums anytime I stood up for myself (which was often). He couldn't deal with the fact that I was more successful than he was so he tried to break me to make himself feel better. It took a long time to get out of that environment but leaving was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I'll be damned if I let anyone continue to treat me like that. And you shouldn't put up with it either.
I agree with Anon @9:45am. Don't let him use you to make himself feel less pathetic. The more you allow him to do such things, the more he'll continue to get increasingly worse. Nothing you do or say will make him change his behavior or love you more. There's no rationalizing his behavior though he might try to make excuses to pull at your sympathies. His motives are purely selfish.
HaveNyx, you have read about two paragraphs on this man and you are already passing judgements on him about, my trust in your logical thought is lowering. I bet you, if he is a psychopath and you told him about psychopathy from an attention-deficit perspective, it would change things a lot for him.
I bet if you learned about psychopathy it would change things a lot for you as well. Psychopaths (in general) are not sadistic because they like hurting people, psychopaths can be sadistic because they are unaware of what the other person is feeling, leaving there no reason for them not to hurt another. Attention-defecit theory explained here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmZgnCHweLM
If you are looking for a real idea about psychopathy, formed from many tests done on thousands of inmates look here: http://www.sociopathworld.com/search?q=newman
My girl will only tell you what I want you to hear. I will have to go take a shit or something, and she may want to tell you how she gets a new car outta me, or whatever it is she thinks she doesn't know I know she's manipulatin to get, but I watch her every move. If she so much as winks at someone to let them know she has got anything over on me in the short term, she will get a beatin and she knows it.
Redwald's comment state, "Then they may conclude that the behaviors they saw as “kind” and “caring” were deliberately contrived by the psychopath in order to “take them in” and “put them off their guard.”" And then, "That may well be true in some cases, but in other cases it may not be true at all. The contradictory behaviors may be largely random and impulsive, not part of any greater “scheme” or purpose."
I think this is where being in a relationship with a psychopath becomes maddening. You see some behaviors from them that seem so genuine that you have no reason to doubt them. At at later time you may see behaviors that so contradict the earlier behaviors that you are left feeling like everything was bullshit and you got conned. Then a loop of trying to analyze the behaviors sets itself up and you get trapped. You are pitting the two behaviors against each other expecting one to be true and one to be a lie. The truth may be something that you never expected: Each of the behaviors were genuine.
To be honest, I don't think anybody can say that in good faith to anyone else (even people they've never met: I'm sure I've hurt people on the other side of the planet just by my choices in what to buy, and so has everybody else). The only reason people say such things is because they're oblivious or cognitive dissonance. Saints who have never hurt anyone are very rare.
In response to your question a couple of days ago, I am still around. It is just a busy time at work, so I'm not around for extended periods to participate in discussions.
Seriously? That's your post to justify not submitting a real Post Secret Sunday? Thanks, buddy. Hundreds to thousands of people take time out of their day to check your site for GENUINE UPDATES, and this is your submission? Way to live up to the responsibliity. Thanks.
I've seen your awareness about this theme whenever you post it and it really gives an informational message to us readers. I am hoping that you'll continue writing this kind of blog. Thanks for sharing this information. www.process-spi.org |
Is my dad a sociopath? I need some opinions, I caught him snooping around in my room yesterday, he made up a lame excuse and told me he was looking out the window. We got into a huuge argument afterwards.
ReplyDeleteI'll post some of the things he said to me, can you guys tell me what it means in socio-speak? :)
Dad: Don't argue with me because you'll always lose, I'll crush you.
Dad: I'll tear you a new A **** if you keep questioning me.
Dad: You walk around with no confidence you need to be more proud of yourself like me.
What do you guys think? :/
That's not enough to say. Maybe if you could exemplify some behaviour of his that makes you think he is a sociopath. Like, what do you think he was doing in your room? And other things, tell us about him, what does he do, does he ever express love, does he cheat on your mother, have you seen signs of cruelty?
ReplyDeleteIs that the stench of Eu de Psycho Drama I detect wafting over Sociopath World's moors?
ReplyDeleteHeey! Nice to meet you Mike, thanks for replying. :)
ReplyDeleteI'll give you some more examples of his.
He used to beat my mom up all the time, we also found fake accounts he used for talking to underage girls with fake pictures etc that's why mom divorced him, i was always "daddies girl" so i decided to stay with him, i had looked to him for my confidence.
Ever since mom left he had start to use me as his new target, he would make gestures about me being overweight, now he is taking it way too far. :/
He can't apologize! Ive never heard him utter sorry once in my entire life, or thank you. He hates everybody, he can't even watch TV without making a bad remark about the characters or news anchors.
He honestly never buys me anything! He will buy a whole pizza for himself and wont offer me any even if I hadn't eaten in that day.
There are piles and piles of terrible things he has done but I cant think of them all right now.
Opinions? :/ Heeeeeelp!
narc
ReplyDeleteI don't see him as a narcissist. while i was on love fraud looking for support i came across an article that said narcissists don't use physical violence to control.
ReplyDeleteYeah, from what you said it is highly possible that he is a sociopath. I mean, this kind of irresponsible behaviour doesn't seem to stem somewhere else. He sounds like he is playing with you to avoid boredom. Everything he does seems to have this reason at root.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that he told you to "walk with more confidence" makes it look like he has some feelings for you. But I see no genuine concern in all the other aspects.
Yeah, you might say that he is a sociopath. Maybe you could go to a psychologist and tell him all about your situation and maybe he can help you with advice on how to handle it.
Either that or he has some really big problems with his head.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYep.
ReplyDeleteThe walk with confidence thing was to degrade me more than help me i think.
Can't you move back with your mom in light of what you have learned about your father ?
ReplyDeleteIs it possible for psychopathy to be co morbid with other disorders?
ReplyDeleteVery much so, you can't get a pure personality disorder, it's always a whole cluster of different disorders. You will be named by your dominant features.
ReplyDeleteCheck psychopathy on wikipedia for comorbidity anon.
ReplyDeleteMike. Are you a psychopath? Doubt you are.
ReplyDeleteOMYawnyyawnyahhhhhaaawwwn.
ReplyDeleteI'll come back tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteL O L!
ReplyDeletehttp://wn.com/Stefon_SNL_About_Valentines_Day
ReplyDelete@Kelly, your dad sounds like a real piece of work. His abusive behavior will only worsen. He's probably a big cause for why you may not have the greatest confidence. Try to get as far away from him as you can. Living with him sounds like a very unsafe environment.
ReplyDeleteYes I agree with Haven. But are you a little teeny bit overweight, Kel?
ReplyDeleteShut up Anon 9:09
ReplyDeleteKelly, where's your Mom now, by the way?
My Mom has been totally torn apart by him. She had to leave town just to stay alive. Well, she needed a lot of therapy. She comes to visit but doesn't come by the house. i can't blame her. Can you?
ReplyDeleteNo, honestly, I really can't. It looks like you might have to learn to love your Dad and take his shit. Your Mom is a useless coward. Oh well :/
ReplyDeleteIn the newspaper today is a story about a 15 yr. old gilr who stole anther 15 yr. old girls idenity 3 yrs. ago posting things to other teens on Facebook that had them going to this girls school to beat her up.
ReplyDeleteNow their prosecuting her.
A year ago I wouldn't have spotted ASPD behavior as such, it goes so undetected. And no one really talked about it around me.
For this to be the enjoyment in your life is just plain sad.
So many other things to do with people around you then undermind them.
Stop giving this poor girl bad advice, Anon! I am sick and tired of watching everyone on this blog allow abusers to be abused! IT is SHAMEFUL what you people Do!!
ReplyDelete9:17 was not me..
ReplyDeleteBut yeah she has left the home and is staying with relatives until she gets her head together, i didn't know what I'd be in for when she left, that is partly the reason why i stuck around.
It's so confusing how he turned on me like that.
Thanks Haven, have you ever had a similar experience? Hope you don't mind me asking. =)
Yeah, *ME*
ReplyDeleteOk I will shut up. Kelly needs help. Haven is right.
ReplyDeleteWe all need help. I stand corrected, TIK. I am sometimes very tempted to be an ass. I think I need the Lord's help.
ReplyDeleteIs there anybody there?
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't deserve you Kelly, he's not good enough to be called Dad.
ReplyDeleteStart planning your escape, because thats what it probly will come down to.
Go to the authorities if he's crosses any lines. Be dramatic blow the story up if you have to. Write the worst things down so you don't forget. Use what you wrote when the time comes.
He sounds dangerous.
Anon 9:346, are you being sarcastic?
ReplyDeleteHaven tell this girl about narcissists. They use psychology of manipulation to undermine everyone around them so they can feel better about themselves, Kelly. I don't know what your Dad has but he is using you to make himself feel better. He counts on your looking up to him for any shred of comfort. it makes him feel important. Eventually you will learn that it isn't your job to comfort him for his lack of self esteem. Your only job is to comfort you.
ReplyDelete"Anon 9:346, are you being sarcastic?"
ReplyDeleteWhy do you ask, TIK?
Because the only time God is mentioned here is in slang or mockery of the ones that believe in Him.
ReplyDeleteSo for someone to say they need the Lord's help would be a very brave peorson or a sarcastic one.
Which comment did you see as sarcastic? 9:34, 9:36 or both? Does mockery ALWayS mean bravery?
ReplyDeleteI didn't see your comment as sarcastic, but on here a subject that gets a beating like the Lord, it's just better I ask.
ReplyDeleteAnd I didn't see you as mocking but others have.
And it does take a brave person on this site to honestly bring up God. I at least see them as brave.
I take it you made the statement in honest.
I thought your daddy everything he knows.
ReplyDeleteYour dad is my son
ReplyDeleteHow does no one see this? Kelly plays the naive role and you people are swallowing it. How is someone playing to be ignorant in all this and turning around a comment later correcting you on narccissistic behaviour. I like the love fraud thing. Common ground is a good foot in the door. Especially when you aim it towards people who love to bash on lovefraud out of a need of outside approval from others. You don't fool me.
ReplyDeleteanon at 6:48 :"Mike. Are you a psychopath? Doubt you are."
ReplyDeleteOk, and what makes you say that ?
UKone what are you suggesting?
ReplyDeleteUkan why don't you run Keely's story by your girl and give us her opinion. I'd be interested on her take of it.
ReplyDeleteYou bring up good points but from a suspicious viewpoint.
Kelly, too much partying this week-end.
ReplyDeleteKelly, I want you to fucking die you pathetic piece of weak trash
ReplyDeleteThe comments on this blog have got more and more retarded over time
ReplyDeleteKelly died a long time ago.
ReplyDelete"Ukan why don't you run Keely's story by your girl and give us her opinion. I'd be interested on her take of it."
ReplyDeleteYeah, Yukie. Why not let her speak for herself one day?
@Kelly.... Yeah, but not with my father. I lived with a guy that was incredibly abusive. Would tell me I should be one way and then if actually decided to do what he wanted he would tear me down and turn it against me. Blame me for the awful things he did, scream, lash out, manipulate, decieve, humiliate, and generally throw temper tantrums anytime I stood up for myself (which was often). He couldn't deal with the fact that I was more successful than he was so he tried to break me to make himself feel better. It took a long time to get out of that environment but leaving was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I'll be damned if I let anyone continue to treat me like that. And you shouldn't put up with it either.
ReplyDeleteHow do you know he couldn't deal with how successful you are?
ReplyDeleteI agree with Anon @9:45am. Don't let him use you to make himself feel less pathetic. The more you allow him to do such things, the more he'll continue to get increasingly worse. Nothing you do or say will make him change his behavior or love you more. There's no rationalizing his behavior though he might try to make excuses to pull at your sympathies. His motives are purely selfish.
ReplyDeleteHaveNyx, you have read about two paragraphs on this man and you are already passing judgements on him about, my trust in your logical thought is lowering.
ReplyDeleteI bet you, if he is a psychopath and you told him about psychopathy from an attention-deficit perspective, it would change things a lot for him.
I bet if you learned about psychopathy it would change things a lot for you as well.
ReplyDeletePsychopaths (in general) are not sadistic because they like hurting people, psychopaths can be sadistic because they are unaware of what the other person is feeling, leaving there no reason for them not to hurt another.
Attention-defecit theory explained here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmZgnCHweLM
M.E. has a post on it but I can't find it
If you are looking for a real idea about psychopathy, formed from many tests done on thousands of inmates look here: http://www.sociopathworld.com/search?q=newman
ReplyDeleteMy girl will only tell you what I want you to hear. I will have to go take a shit or something, and she may want to tell you how she gets a new car outta me, or whatever it is she thinks she doesn't know I know she's manipulatin to get, but I watch her every move. If she so much as winks at someone to let them know she has got anything over on me in the short term, she will get a beatin and she knows it.
ReplyDeleteWith a stick?
ReplyDeleteHAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA
ReplyDeleteUKan imposter how obvious.
No it was him
ReplyDeleteI hope you little bastards are happy, kelly is now in her room, I'll be up in moment with the belt and gag. She won't be using the Internet again.
ReplyDeleteHe's not disrespectful to his girlfreind, he doesn't have to be. She does what he wants not out of fear but out of love.
ReplyDeleteSo here we are back on thed subject of love, don't be a hater because you don't get any.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteRedwald's comment state, "Then they may conclude that the behaviors they saw as “kind” and “caring” were deliberately contrived by the psychopath in order to “take them in” and “put them off their guard.”" And then, "That may well be true in some cases, but in other cases it may not be true at all. The contradictory behaviors may be largely random and impulsive, not part of any greater “scheme” or purpose."
ReplyDeleteI think this is where being in a relationship with a psychopath becomes maddening. You see some behaviors from them that seem so genuine that you have no reason to doubt them. At at later time you may see behaviors that so contradict the earlier behaviors that you are left feeling like everything was bullshit and you got conned. Then a loop of trying to analyze the behaviors sets itself up and you get trapped. You are pitting the two behaviors against each other expecting one to be true and one to be a lie. The truth may be something that you never expected: Each of the behaviors were genuine.
This is a nugget. Who authored it? Birdick?
ReplyDeleteAll the nuggets amount to......
ReplyDelete............ fools gold !!!!!!!!!!
prob
ReplyDeleteRight there with you, ME. It may not be even be something most people consider a bad deed, you know, like a gentle level of corruption.
ReplyDeleteWhatever.
Spend enough time with anyone and you'll do them wrong, sociopath or not.
Bored yet?
ReplyDeleteYes.
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna pan fry something in a bit. Catch yas later
"Spend enough time with anyone and you'll do them wrong, sociopath or not."
ReplyDeleteTRUE
I'll wrong someone if they wrong me, but not on any substantial level usually. I'd prefer to act like they don't exist.
Not usually a game of cat and mouse.
Do unto others before they can do unto you.
ReplyDelete70TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I don't think anybody can say that in good faith to anyone else (even people they've never met: I'm sure I've hurt people on the other side of the planet just by my choices in what to buy, and so has everybody else).
ReplyDeleteThe only reason people say such things is because they're oblivious or cognitive dissonance. Saints who have never hurt anyone are very rare.
I'd rather be 69thhhhhhhhhhh
ReplyDeleteYou know the sly smart ass that calls every freaky looking person a serial killer, yeah well he is the real serial killer.
ReplyDeletelmao Kelly's dad finally posted. That's great.
ReplyDeletewv: dringle
NotMe (If you show up tonight),
ReplyDeleteIn response to your question a couple of days ago, I am still around. It is just a busy time at work, so I'm not around for extended periods to participate in discussions.
Seriously? That's your post to justify not submitting a real Post Secret Sunday? Thanks, buddy. Hundreds to thousands of people take time out of their day to check your site for GENUINE UPDATES, and this is your submission? Way to live up to the responsibliity. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteShut the fuck up u whiney little bitch.
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