Can someone explain this to me - the psychopathy checklist (not antisocial Pd) criteria matches every trait of narcissistic personality disorder, it's even termed aggressive narcissism, so what is the difference?
Pale white flesh, a splash of red Twisted dreams of you upon my bed Glinting steel, my hate made known Sacred rites and a lovers moan Panicked eyes, my darkened mind Trembling hands and our souls combined Sinful gifts, you quiet pain A loving embrace that leaves you insane A private hell, a passions desire I'm your demon breathing fire Carved runes upon your skin Bloodshot eyes, an evil grin My hatred fills the midnight skies A demons truth in all your lies Glistening silver turned to red A rotting corpse upon my bed The stench of death caressing me Piece by piece you have set me free.
Lol, my aunt asked me did I want anything at the grocery store because her friend was driving over there, I asked her what does her friend want, she said what do you mean?, I asked her why she was going for nothing, she told me that not everyone thinks like me :P
Time snuffed out, at last I'm dead No illusions poison my head Decaying flesh, my soul has flown Bleached myths and a bloodline thrown Return to dust, my journey blind Larvae crawl and my cells unwind Hollowed veins, they wither slain A skeleton holds last rites for the pain Mute extinction, secrets on the pyre I'm your madness curdling ire Foul wraiths swallow your sin Stalking dreams, a howling din Your torment rings the primal cries A mental stain for all my sighs Bestial chaos bowed to dread A clinging hex for how I bled The chill of mares siphoning glee Slowly you are becoming me.
This song brings back a rare childhood memory around the age of four. I used to grab some of my grandparent's old records and put them on. They'd sometimes stop what that were doing, come to the living room and start to dance. They always looked so happy when they did that, as if they were hiding some joyful secret.
It was like hitting a switch, where they transformed from hateful, spiteful, angry old people into a loving couple for the few minutes the song would last. They'd usually be too tired to last another. My grandma always had the biggest smile when she looked at me. She'd mess up my fair and take the record off. And then a few minutes later, they were back at each others throats.
This pretty much sums up my relationships, although I thought they tried to make out the idealizing phase as being more malicious than it really is. I have an appreciation for most types of enjoyment so I can relate to most people. I really do like them when I am idealizing, it's not all a facade, my personality actually changes to suit them.
Yes my father is one, although I like him more than most people. I believed two of my childhood friends were psychopaths but that might just be the "devalued, distorted mirror image of myself and of their former, idealized, self as well"
My mother's side has a long line of psychopaths/sociopaths in the family. A few of which are criminally diagnosed psychopathic ex-cons. One of my uncles is a real winner. :P
My father is a dead ringer for a pathological narcissist, but I don't know if it was just him, or further back too.
I'd hazard to guess that I get it from Mom's side. I'm not much like my father. I probably despised him too much, and he was probably too pissed that his normal emotional games didn't work on me.
A father's approval. Now there's a neurosis I've never known, heh.
I'm not sure where I read it but a female wrote that her psychopathic mother had put her baby brother in an oven (turned on) and she had to save him when she was a child. I'm not sure if her mother was one. Does this sound like what a psychopath would do? The children were taken away from her.
He tried to guilt me into doing things, to make it seem like him being disappointed in me would somehow affect me. It was funny, really. After a while, he figured out the only way he could punish me was to isolate me, because I clearly didn't give a shit about him or what he thought about me. So yes, games.
This I know, man, I have no idea. It doesn't scream psychopathy frankly, but possibly schizophrenia, or some other deeply disturbed person.
I mean, if I was in her shoes, the only way I'd think that was a good idea would be if we were out of food ;)
I've said it before so I won't go into it unless asked but I with a true to the bone narissist. She's not a pretty sight.
No sociopaths in the family, except for the one my daughter divorsed and their daughter is smart and dry witted, I really enjoy her. I can't see that she's anything like her father.
3:52 You fucking idiot look at your post again "Psychopathy is very rare, as is narcissism" Narcissism does not equate to pathological narcissism, idiot. Narcissism is present in most people.
My mother is a self made something or other. She brags about her process. Brainwashed herself into not feeling anything as a child. And she comes across as, what some here have described, a psychopath. Her best friend, and my main father figure, definitely socio, and a perpetual scammer. My father is an angry, depressed, charismatic, self absorbed, weak narcissist. All of them brilliantly talented. None were criminals, though my Dad did drugs. He also had encephalitis as a baby.
How many felt they became the parent while they were still a child?
I worked with abused and run away teenagers at a temporary shelter, one of the girls were there because of her mothers narcissisum.
This woman came in like she was a celebrity and treated everyone like we should be awe struck and announced that she was making everyone dinner. She left without even talking to her daughter. Her daughter was the only one who came through in my two years that was older then her years,
I felt like the parent, or at least the real man of the house, from a pretty young age. The man was too delusional to see how foolish he was, and I had to pick up a lot of slack for us to get by.
Something had a greater influence in my life then what went on in my home. I was fortunate, like an unseen protecter. I don't know if any of you can relate to that.
I had bad things happen but they could always have been alot worse.
I also have quite a few people around me that are on the whole scale of PD disorder's. They don't feel protected and act like they have to make me their greatest fan.
I listen. I don't consider this to be weak, it's kind of like being their rock. If I didn't see it this way I wouldn't be able to be near them.
I can't relate to that. I'm not even sure what you're alluding to.
My childhood wasn't a sob story, and although it may have been difficult, it was fun. I thrived in the lies, the violence, the deception. I miss it. Not my father, but the things I had to do because of him.
He enabled me to be the very person he hated to see me as, but wasn't about to complain that his son was eerily capable of the very things he requested. I could see it in his eyes though, that conflicted disgust when you use a tool you'd rather not.
He liked to blame my mother for who I was, that I was too much like her and her brothers. I only became "worse" when we went on the run, which was to his advantage.
Gratitude can be so very fleeting. It's foolishness to expect it to last past its moment of action.
I've had to completly remake my life before several times. It's not a bad thing, it's made me confidant in my abilities to move on. I can always look back and know that whatever happens I will always land on my feet.
Note I will explain what I maean when it's pertanent. But not in this forum.
I do not know what to label myself, tik. I am wired different. More aspie, empath. Yet I am fascinated by power and seduction. I have put and still study the nature of love in all its forms. I feel aggression is as instinctual as it is important. I feel no guilt regarding my adventures. And regarding the violent events in history and see it as part as a larger story. This blog helps me to understand. I have a strong interest in neurology. Knowledge is my biggest addiction by far. I also find socio genius men quite sexy.
Maybe you don't need to label yourself at least not now, today. I'm sure your comfortable with who you are today, and thats what matters. I get the impression your female. Sometimes it's better not to let that be known on here. This site has given me a huge advantage into myself and a outlet. I do like your input here, your couragous. That's the the quality I admire.
Courage is fleeting unless one eats the fire whole. Thx.
Yes, outlets are important. Lots of courage in this blog. Vulnerability and honesty which can not be expressed on the street.
tik @6:12 "I'd like to hear about some of the heroic acts that I know your all capable of."
Reading Stieg Larsson's trilogy starting with "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." I find the underlining intent of this book is love. Her acts of heroism are quite manipulative. She uses her socio skills for a combination of personal gain/survival and for weeding out weakness in the social system. The ability to weed our weakness does benefit the whole.
I don't think we come here to be vulnerable or heroic though, but I can only speak for myself. I personally come here to relate and understand myself better. 1 out of 100 may not be that rare, and I've met thousands of people through my travels, but to speak with people so similar, and so open, it helps.
Of course my ego, arrogance and general narcissism makes me naturally abrasive, and I pretend no loyalties. Not out of lack of tact, but out of lack of want. I just want to be me here, and at my blog as well. A great deal can be learned and shared through discourse, even under the veil of proposed violence and anger. Who am I to look down upon those who think and feel as me? It's fun if anything, the drama and heated words. It is easy to say that you do not like drama or chaos, it's what is acceptable. But to admit that you both enjoy both, and like to cause it, is another.
In my walk of life, and conversations with others, they usually ask me, is it really just boredom, the reason for my destructive nature? I don't think that's all there is to it.
Like someone said before (I think Bella) when I finally meet that person, the person who is good for me, the person I really enjoy and want to be with in earnest, it would help to know how to live with myself, so that they may learn to live with me. Hiding under the guise of the hero or the villain is silly when you are neither. My mind doesn't work that way. My mind works for Me.
I cannot change who I am, nor my behavior. Right now, it is a journey to learn how to accept my thoughts and ways, so that I may channel them as opposed to letting the dam crack and crumble, destroying what lies beyond.
I scaled the inside of an elevator to save a 100lb dog from getting strangled by his leash in caught elevator door. Elevator wouldn't stop moving. He was hanging and getting closer and closer into the ceiling corner. No hands. I was maimed.
I can relate to the NotablePath a lot except I think finding the perfect girl will not happen, no women will tolerate me when I am not acting, fact. Except very low quality women.
Thats not true, don't believe that lie. Look at UKan's girl. If it's really something that you want you have to reveal yourself a little at a time. But first you have to feel that they have value, if not, then they will not put up with you. Is it really so hard to see worth in someone else?
If you feel they are of low quality, they have lost and so have you before it ever started.
I can't believe I missed this conversation. So many people saying my exact thoughts. I want more threads like this. This was extremely interesting. Tik keep asking questions and making requests. You produce great lines of conversation.
So how many of you here relate/got the point that in Dexter, the "concept" of a relationship rather than real feelings finally determines the relative substance/solidity of it? I think the grain of logic in that, is the relative ease and fearlessness in commitment to something perceived as temporal and completely disposable. I'm beginning to wonder just how much the notion of disposability plays in the rules of our true nature.
Disposability is a factor because the masks are interchangeable and disposable. And they (the masks)continue to multiply. Another person cannot possibly keep up with the ever changing masks. It's too unstable.
The scenario in mind was more like what begins as a mask of convenience becoming/evolving into a solid icon through increasing affirmation from believers and its functionality. Whether that defines the essense of the mask wearer remains the question or rather, that remains a moot point as long as the wearer doesn't question.
Maybe the definition of "Masks" could also be expanded to "The power of concepts". I mean could we run the example of religion and Kuklinski's family and Christmas rituals through Kantian arguments?
I was looking for something interesting to read.
ReplyDeleteIt turns out it's another post to climb the search engines.
lame.
Can someone explain this to me - the psychopathy checklist (not antisocial Pd) criteria matches every trait of narcissistic personality disorder, it's even termed aggressive narcissism, so what is the difference?
ReplyDeletePale white flesh, a splash of red
ReplyDeleteTwisted dreams of you upon my bed
Glinting steel, my hate made known
Sacred rites and a lovers moan
Panicked eyes, my darkened mind
Trembling hands and our souls combined
Sinful gifts, you quiet pain
A loving embrace that leaves you insane
A private hell, a passions desire
I'm your demon breathing fire
Carved runes upon your skin
Bloodshot eyes, an evil grin
My hatred fills the midnight skies
A demons truth in all your lies
Glistening silver turned to red
A rotting corpse upon my bed
The stench of death caressing me
Piece by piece you have set me free.
Lol, my aunt asked me did I want anything at the grocery store because her friend was driving over there, I asked her what does her friend want, she said what do you mean?, I asked her why she was going for nothing, she told me that not everyone thinks like me :P
ReplyDeleteTime snuffed out, at last I'm dead
ReplyDeleteNo illusions poison my head
Decaying flesh, my soul has flown
Bleached myths and a bloodline thrown
Return to dust, my journey blind
Larvae crawl and my cells unwind
Hollowed veins, they wither slain
A skeleton holds last rites for the pain
Mute extinction, secrets on the pyre
I'm your madness curdling ire
Foul wraiths swallow your sin
Stalking dreams, a howling din
Your torment rings the primal cries
A mental stain for all my sighs
Bestial chaos bowed to dread
A clinging hex for how I bled
The chill of mares siphoning glee
Slowly you are becoming me.
Edit: No illusions *to* poison my head
ReplyDeleteI got the feeling notme and Notable are not items anymore, when was the fallout, here in SW or another blog or just in privately exchanged emails?
ReplyDeleteThey didn't even post yet, but someone is already trying to pick a fight with them.
ReplyDeleteTalking about the past two weeks, you no-idea-wanker Jason. Digging for juice before they come out.
ReplyDelete@ Anon 1:53, looks like your the one with the first shitty attitude around here.
ReplyDeleteThis song brings back a rare childhood memory around the age of four. I used to grab some of my grandparent's old records and put them on. They'd sometimes stop what that were doing, come to the living room and start to dance. They always looked so happy when they did that, as if they were hiding some joyful secret.
ReplyDeleteIt was like hitting a switch, where they transformed from hateful, spiteful, angry old people into a loving couple for the few minutes the song would last. They'd usually be too tired to last another. My grandma always had the biggest smile when she looked at me. She'd mess up my fair and take the record off. And then a few minutes later, they were back at each others throats.
http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/victims-of-psychopaths-sociopaths/discussions/messages/11382588
ReplyDeleteThis pretty much sums up my relationships, although I thought they tried to make out the idealizing phase as being more malicious than it really is. I have an appreciation for most types of enjoyment so I can relate to most people. I really do like them when I am idealizing, it's not all a facade, my personality actually changes to suit them.
@ Note and others, I believe you inherited being a Sociopath.
ReplyDeleteDo you have someone in your family that you know is one?
Yes my father is one, although I like him more than most people. I believed two of my childhood friends were psychopaths but that might just be the "devalued, distorted mirror image of myself and of their former, idealized, self as well"
ReplyDeleteMy mother's side has a long line of psychopaths/sociopaths in the family. A few of which are criminally diagnosed psychopathic ex-cons. One of my uncles is a real winner. :P
ReplyDeleteMy father is a dead ringer for a pathological narcissist, but I don't know if it was just him, or further back too.
I'd hazard to guess that I get it from Mom's side. I'm not much like my father. I probably despised him too much, and he was probably too pissed that his normal emotional games didn't work on me.
A father's approval. Now there's a neurosis I've never known, heh.
Psychopathy is very very rare as is narcissism
ReplyDeleteNarcissism is not rare, it is present in most people.
ReplyDeletePsychopathy is present in 1 out of 100 people, whether that is rare is just semantics.
I'm not sure where I read it but a female wrote that her psychopathic mother had put her baby brother in an oven (turned on) and she had to save him when she was a child. I'm not sure if her mother was one. Does this sound like what a psychopath would do? The children were taken away from her.
ReplyDelete@note
ReplyDeleteHmm emotion games?
Could he atleast piss you off to no end? Hate can me a form of manipulation.
He tried to guilt me into doing things, to make it seem like him being disappointed in me would somehow affect me. It was funny, really. After a while, he figured out the only way he could punish me was to isolate me, because I clearly didn't give a shit about him or what he thought about me. So yes, games.
ReplyDeleteThis I know, man, I have no idea. It doesn't scream psychopathy frankly, but possibly schizophrenia, or some other deeply disturbed person.
I mean, if I was in her shoes, the only way I'd think that was a good idea would be if we were out of food ;)
Pathological narcissism is less than one percent you tool, most people are narcissistic not narcissists.
ReplyDeleteI've said it before so I won't go into it unless asked but I with a true to the bone narissist.
ReplyDeleteShe's not a pretty sight.
No sociopaths in the family, except for the one my daughter divorsed and their daughter is smart and dry witted, I really enjoy her. I can't see that she's anything like her father.
I work with a true narcissist.
ReplyDelete3:52 You fucking idiot look at your post again
ReplyDelete"Psychopathy is very rare, as is narcissism"
Narcissism does not equate to pathological narcissism, idiot. Narcissism is present in most people.
My mother is a self made something or other. She brags about her process. Brainwashed herself into not feeling anything as a child. And she comes across as, what some here have described, a psychopath. Her best friend, and my main father figure, definitely socio, and a perpetual scammer. My father is an angry, depressed, charismatic, self absorbed, weak narcissist. All of them brilliantly talented. None were criminals, though my Dad did drugs. He also had encephalitis as a baby.
ReplyDeleteNarc males always have mother issues.
ReplyDeleteTell me how you got through your childhoods with parents that have PD's
ReplyDeleteAgreed that a lot of people are narcissistic. But my father was a little too close to the edge to be considered normal.
ReplyDeleteTo be frank, I don't know anyone else that is like him, with a head so high in the clouds.
How did I get through my childhood? *chuckles* I suspect being psychopathic helped.
Was he emotionally distant and fearful of intimacy?
ReplyDeleteEmotionally distant, and avoided intimacy. Was it fear? How the hell would I know... He doesn't talk about it, or much of anything for that matter.
ReplyDeleteHow many felt they became the parent while they were still a child?
ReplyDeleteI worked with abused and run away teenagers at a temporary shelter, one of the girls were there because of her mothers narcissisum.
This woman came in like she was a celebrity and treated everyone like we should be awe struck and announced that she was making everyone dinner.
She left without even talking to her daughter. Her daughter was the only one who came through in my two years that was older then her years,
Narcissists are wierdos
ReplyDeleteI felt like the parent, or at least the real man of the house, from a pretty young age. The man was too delusional to see how foolish he was, and I had to pick up a lot of slack for us to get by.
ReplyDeleteSomething had a greater influence in my life then what went on in my home. I was fortunate, like an unseen protecter. I don't know if any of you can relate to that.
ReplyDeleteI had bad things happen but they could always have been alot worse.
I also have quite a few people around me that are on the whole scale of PD disorder's. They don't feel protected and act like they have to make me their greatest fan.
I listen. I don't consider this to be weak, it's kind of like being their rock. If I didn't see it this way I wouldn't be able to be near them.
I can't relate to that. I'm not even sure what you're alluding to.
ReplyDeleteMy childhood wasn't a sob story, and although it may have been difficult, it was fun. I thrived in the lies, the violence, the deception. I miss it. Not my father, but the things I had to do because of him.
He enabled me to be the very person he hated to see me as, but wasn't about to complain that his son was eerily capable of the very things he requested. I could see it in his eyes though, that conflicted disgust when you use a tool you'd rather not.
He liked to blame my mother for who I was, that I was too much like her and her brothers. I only became "worse" when we went on the run, which was to his advantage.
Gratitude can be so very fleeting. It's foolishness to expect it to last past its moment of action.
Because gratitude is so fleeting you can move on. To that it's a great thing.
ReplyDeleteI've had to completly remake my life before several times.
ReplyDeleteIt's not a bad thing, it's made me confidant in my abilities to move on. I can always look back and know that whatever happens I will always land on my feet.
Note I will explain what I maean when it's pertanent. But not in this forum.
"Bewitched, bothered and bewildered" is also fleeting. That's the point. Its something we can rely on.
ReplyDeleteA flower, gratitude, anger, love, desire all fleeting. it all follows natural law. This blog follows a certain natural law. Entertaining to read.
Great song by dear Ms. Fitzgerald
You sumed up love SoulfulPath, how did you come to the point your at? Or am I wrong in believing your a sociopath?
ReplyDeleteI'd like to hear about some of the heroic acts that I know your all capable of.
ReplyDeleteI do not know what to label myself, tik. I am wired different. More aspie, empath. Yet I am fascinated by power and seduction. I have put and still study the nature of love in all its forms. I feel aggression is as instinctual as it is important. I feel no guilt regarding my adventures. And regarding the violent events in history and see it as part as a larger story. This blog helps me to understand. I have a strong interest in neurology. Knowledge is my biggest addiction by far. I also find socio genius men quite sexy.
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you, SoulfulPath!
ReplyDeleteMaybe you don't need to label yourself at least not now, today. I'm sure your comfortable with who you are today, and thats what matters.
ReplyDeleteI get the impression your female.
Sometimes it's better not to let that be known on here.
This site has given me a huge advantage into myself and a outlet.
I do like your input here, your couragous.
That's the the quality I admire.
Courage is fleeting unless one eats the fire whole. Thx.
ReplyDeleteYes, outlets are important. Lots of courage in this blog. Vulnerability and honesty which can not be expressed on the street.
tik @6:12 "I'd like to hear about some of the heroic acts that I know your all capable of."
Reading Stieg Larsson's trilogy starting with "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." I find the underlining intent of this book is love. Her acts of heroism are quite manipulative. She uses her socio skills for a combination of personal gain/survival and for weeding out weakness in the social system. The ability to weed our weakness does benefit the whole.
oh, the series, these are about socio girls, all the same girl?
ReplyDeleteSame girl.
ReplyDeleteI'm charmed. ;)
ReplyDeleteI don't think we come here to be vulnerable or heroic though, but I can only speak for myself. I personally come here to relate and understand myself better. 1 out of 100 may not be that rare, and I've met thousands of people through my travels, but to speak with people so similar, and so open, it helps.
Of course my ego, arrogance and general narcissism makes me naturally abrasive, and I pretend no loyalties. Not out of lack of tact, but out of lack of want. I just want to be me here, and at my blog as well. A great deal can be learned and shared through discourse, even under the veil of proposed violence and anger. Who am I to look down upon those who think and feel as me? It's fun if anything, the drama and heated words. It is easy to say that you do not like drama or chaos, it's what is acceptable. But to admit that you both enjoy both, and like to cause it, is another.
In my walk of life, and conversations with others, they usually ask me, is it really just boredom, the reason for my destructive nature? I don't think that's all there is to it.
Like someone said before (I think Bella) when I finally meet that person, the person who is good for me, the person I really enjoy and want to be with in earnest, it would help to know how to live with myself, so that they may learn to live with me. Hiding under the guise of the hero or the villain is silly when you are neither. My mind doesn't work that way. My mind works for Me.
I cannot change who I am, nor my behavior. Right now, it is a journey to learn how to accept my thoughts and ways, so that I may channel them as opposed to letting the dam crack and crumble, destroying what lies beyond.
A worthy and Notable mission statement. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHeros and villains is too black and white. Best to move from polarized logic to nuance.
Vulnerable (adjective):
"Exposed" to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally
Heroic (noun):
Behavior or talk that is "bold" or dramatic.
And are not these the attributes to a good fight?
--------
ReplyDelete"My first fight was after someone took the head off my pigeon. It was the only thing I ever loved"
ReplyDeleteNot a real quote. His show is coming out. It will be addictive.
I scaled the inside of an elevator to save a 100lb dog from getting strangled by his leash in caught elevator door. Elevator wouldn't stop moving. He was hanging and getting closer and closer into the ceiling corner. No hands. I was maimed.
ReplyDeleteTa da!
I saved gotham city from a killer clown and a vigilante terrorist.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the NotablePath a lot except I think finding the perfect girl will not happen, no women will tolerate me when I am not acting, fact. Except very low quality women.
ReplyDeleteThats not true, don't believe that lie.
ReplyDeleteLook at UKan's girl. If it's really something that you want you have to reveal yourself a little at a time.
But first you have to feel that they have value, if not, then they will not put up with you.
Is it really so hard to see worth in someone else?
If you feel they are of low quality, they have lost and so have you before it ever started.
assssdgh
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I missed this conversation. So many people saying my exact thoughts. I want more threads like this. This was extremely interesting. Tik keep asking questions and making requests. You produce great lines of conversation.
ReplyDeleteSo how many of you here relate/got the point that in Dexter, the "concept" of a relationship rather than real feelings finally determines the relative substance/solidity of it?
ReplyDeleteI think the grain of logic in that, is the relative ease and fearlessness in commitment to something perceived as temporal and completely disposable.
I'm beginning to wonder just how much the notion of disposability plays in the rules of our true nature.
Disposability is a factor because the masks are interchangeable and disposable. And they (the masks)continue to multiply. Another person cannot possibly keep up with the ever changing masks. It's too unstable.
ReplyDeleteThe scenario in mind was more like what begins as a mask of convenience becoming/evolving into a solid icon through increasing affirmation from believers and its functionality. Whether that defines the essense of the mask wearer remains the question or rather, that remains a moot point as long as the wearer doesn't question.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the definition of "Masks" could also be expanded to "The power of concepts". I mean could we run the example of religion and Kuklinski's family and Christmas rituals through Kantian arguments?
ReplyDeleteyou'll need to translate that one with this crowd
ReplyDelete