Guest post: Protectionism

When dealing with a social path one must ALWAYS remember and look for those signs that are what I call "Protectionism"...

Here are the (real life) signs I endured;

• Look for other bank accounts or funding that will aid their "escape" when they are ready to leave.
• What they show as a "openness" such as the sharing of email passwords, bank accounts, etc. or things that typically would be shared between "trusting" couples, you can bet they have another bank account they funding, another email account they are confiding or undermining the relationship to someone they trust very much...Maybe a Sister, Mother or a "friend" that you will seldom have access to or see very sparingly as to ensure "innocent" conversations never lead to some information accidentally leaked out.

My comments to the above: My wife has what I call "Escape-ability Issues"... When one looks at her history, funding her "escape" from day one is key. They will bankroll their plan by skimming a few dollars here or there. What my wife did was to take full advantage of my lazy and uninterested attitude in what bills needed to be paid, how much was being deposited or taken out of the accounts. For me, as long as the bills were paid and no bill collectors calling - I was fine. This was the key for her. While both our pay checks were deposited into the same account it didn't take long for her to open another account in another State (Usually where a relative or Friend lives). From there, she would take a few hundred dollars and U.S. MAIL it to that friend to deposit into the "secret" account. Soon as I was to learn she actually had 5 bank accounts.

As our divorced neared, I began to check the bank statements.As my trust in her built, the bank accounts were created. By the last 4 years of our marriage those bank statements showed my 2 checks per month being deposited and only one of hers (because she knew my habits of never checking) What really gave this away were the many Post office Receipts I found from many Post Offices around her job, where we shopped and a few near us but nearly all the receipts continued to show the same amount ($1.06) and certified mail. It was the weight of these envelopes that were all the same...In a test, I mailed myself a check to my house from one of the same post offices she used. The weight and cost was exactly what showed on those receipts. I then asked for the cost to States using the same method she mailed to (California, N.C., PA.) and it was the exact same for the weight.

Lastly, Watch for those (seemingly) innocent trips. In my Case just two months before we were to be married, her Mother was in NYC, just a few hours from where we lived yet, she met up with her Mother but....Advised me it was a "Girl meeting"....Like, WTF? We're getting married in two months, I never met her Mother and this was a great chance (Her mother lived in California)...Yet, she didn't want me to meet her.

In another instance, her "Best Friend" was getting married but only the wife was invited....I later found the invitation with both our names. Her "Best Friend" was also the person she was sending checks to deposit to for years.
My best guess is that she never wanted us to meet thus jeopardizing innocent conversation to reveal anything....Which means, my Wife was probably lying to her to make deposit's...and of course, setting up the stage of when she left...She had the perfect cover story....The old, "I never wanted to tell you"...

They Calculate like a Cray Computer but, sooner or later when they are discovered failing to note some "loose ends", they leave your life as fast as they came into it and they have no fear because they have already funded their escape. They move on to their next prey.

Mike.