"TNP usually seems like a really nice and helpful guy, but sometimes I swear he's totally different person, and doesn't remotely care about me." -Wife of one of my business partners
I've run into an issue recently, relating to this. I've been spending a lot of time with my business partners lately, one particularly, and his wife sensed that something seemed off about me, or so he mentioned while we we're enjoying drunken company funded shenanigans. I guess I have been so focused on our business that my indifference was intensified when planning business endeavors, not giving a shit about some prattling woman whose presence I have to occasionally suffer.
Indifference is one thing, because it's virtually always there when it doesn't involve me, but when someone gets in my way, or halts it due to some issue that pertains only to them, I have to go out of my way seem like I give a shit. Normally, I just don't care with most people, but considering this is a spouse of one of my business partners, I should probably improve my game.
The sad thing is, I don't want to be indifferent to it all. If these are people that I'm going to be spending many profitable years with, forming some kind of bond would be nice. Ideal, actually. I don't know. I can only compensate for what I emotionally lack.
I don't know why half of you pretend to be nice in person, are you afraid of confrontation or something? When you command people they give and give to please you.
Because that doesn't always work Anon. If your going to have future dealing's with someone you could end up having a spouse take up an offence for what they consider to be against their partner. Why start off that way.
He apparently doesn't want this to become a problem with his partner in bussiness. I say that's a wise decision.
I see someone brooding, I might ask them once if everything is alright, they have a reason then it's understandable, they don't I walk away, they have problems, and it's not worth my time.
Brooding face = self centered Your problem, not mine
I don't understand why you should care about this woman or why she expects you to. Have you known her for long? Who did you overhear her saying that to? Do you think she secretly has feelings for you?
I lose interest in women very fast, I just see them as bags of flesh, sometimes their pretty, but a day later you will find a better looking one. I don't understand old guys who stay married to their saggy old wife ugly wife for so long, you only get one shot at life. even when I'm old i will be banging young women.
737 you know that would be fine for some women if you "allowed" her the same freedom(not that it would be satisfying) we want to get fucked on a regular basis. it's a human need. hell, i will buy you an ergodynamic dildo so you can fuck me without even having to use your flacid dick. you expect to take without the give? You kind of deserve to be cuckholded.....believe me, it is not easy not to cheat when your hubby is screwing behind your back and/or won't screw you,,, and it takes a certain kind of person to be there for the selfish types who will hang in there without TAKING, SELFISHLY, back. You wonder why we would marry for money.... lots of eyerolling is wasted energy. You wonder why people leave you. Really? it is a chore to be in a relationship with you. We want some shit in return, and if it's cash, we just might make that deal. It can be an empty exchange. but much of life is.
you will be banging whores and coke heads, blowing you without giving a shit for you. no wonder so many of you are sex addicts and spend hours on the net jerking off. You want to fuck your mommy and you know it
then you better get a job and pony up for a facelift, personal trainer, and nanny so we can relax trying to be all pretty. FOR YOU! (and others, but if you're gonna be a dick we will lie and say "it's all for you, Baby". ...Just like the whores say. ..You know they're rolling their eyes and say that bs
"ok kesu....would u waste someone for 1 million.....if there was no way u would or could b caught?"
That is a stupid question. Of course I would. Hell for a straight million dollars today I'd walk up to the person shoot them right in the forehead and walk away in broad daylight.
Wouldn't be hard. Chances are already that I won't be caught. If a police station has a 30% rate of "catching" murders then that is considered a great rate. So you gotta figure that is 30% of known murders. There are still the murders that go unknown. Also, how often do they catch the right guy? Even when they catch the right guy how often does he get off the hook? A good lawyer can get you out of a lot of messes.
"The sad thing is, I don't want to be indifferent to it all. If these are people that I'm going to be spending many profitable years with, forming some kind of bond would be nice. Ideal, actually. I don't know. I can only compensate for what I emotionally lack."
You stealing from my play book now TNP? =P I didn't think you'd write something like that. You ever feel like killing everyone in a room because you know afterwards you will feel the same but the difference would be you don't have to listen or hear the noise.
I've been thinking about connections recently. I'm going through a particular spat of boredom. I rarely go through these where there is nothing going on at all around me and there is nothing I can think of doing. One thing people always ask me is how do you have time to do this or that? Like I read several books learn something new. How do you have time to do all that? My answer has always been I just do it. You can too. The truth is though none of my time is wasted by connections to people. That is why I have so much time. If I want to go out I call up people and they come. People call me all the time and I ignore most phones calls unless I think it is something actually purposeful. So I have abundant amounts of time to read or do whatever.
All in all being around people is a huge annoyance. I hate them. I can't remember too many pleasurable experiences from my childhood that were mutually pleasurable. As a child I use to hear my mother yelling at me even when I was alone. It would make me snap around. I suppose that would be an auditory hallucination.
Kesu, does that mean that you'd be interested in seeing what this forming connections to people thing is all about? (For the sake of being less bored atm)
Kindness is easy for me. Superficial relationships with people I am forced to associated with with no intellect or sense of humor is at times boring. Yet I am kind. I do appreciate simple people who are in alignment with their work and service. Kindness is a frequency of gratitude, not an emotion and it feels good to my nervous system. It's the elemental Eros, our social lubricant. Soft power. Co-dependency is a unconscious calculated use of power which is selfish and wells up from need, is much more narrow focused and trouble follows.
I say kindness is an expanded focus art form worthy of exercise to the indifferent.
Absolutely. Truth of the matter is I never feel lonely because even in a group I don't feel connected. Isolation has the same effect on me that being in a large group does. The difference is I don't have to blend in in isolation.
I think it is the reason why I want to be loved etc etc. It is because I can't feel love. I can't receive it just like I can't give it. That is why I always get them to make gestures of their love because in truth I can't feel it. The gestures that I demand just keep getting grander too. In the end I want them to live and breath for my sake alone. I want them willing to give up their life for me even though I would never return the feeling.
"I say kindness is an expanded focus art form worthy of exercise to the indifferent."
I liket this. Kindness, politeness... common courtesy. I agree it is not of an emotive frequency. It's a useful tool in superficial relationships.
I too am almost always kind to those strange to me, or coworkers. They never suspect or believe that someone so turbulent stands in front of them when all they see is a superficial smile. I think I am both less kind and infinitely moreso with those that I am close to. They get the slipping of my control, but they also get the genuine concern and caring. As genuine as I can be. I wonder some days.
Shallow Stability or Unstable Genuineness. Which is better I wonder.
Kesu: If you were able to open yourself to forming connections you'd understand what loneliness is. Your entire mentality and ideas of what you would want from and expect from a lover would shift. I want to ask, how do you think it would feel to want to be loved, but also to love in return? To want to do something for someone else solely to see them smile? I'm like you in that I can feel very isolated in large crowds. No one there is really on my level and I tend towards observation rather than participation. I could be doing any number of more useful things while actually being alone instead of surrounding myself in unproductive loneliness. It doesn't necessarily have to do with crowds. With love though, you'd know loneliness when they're away. It's not a powerful feeling. It's an emptiness lined with less pleasant things.
It's silly isn't it to even think of asking such a thing. You dont know. Then again, I'm not sure I do either.
Soulful... ::laughs:: Too true! Could you imagine if it were the other way around? Oh the business world would crumble and our future generations would cease to be a thought.
I think in truth that the bi-polar disorder is more disruptive to me than the aspd. As I read more about aspd I find that it is paired with disorders such as mine very commonly. It makes me wonder if I should just treat the bi-polar. The only treatment regiments that I've seen for aspd are pyschotherapy, talk therapy, and general treatments for depression.
Kesu, research neurofeedback treatments and bi-polar disorders. It exists as a non-drug therapy and it's great. All practitioners and programs are not alike. Research well. It works with strong commitment in finishing the series of treatments. I learned the hard way. The technique aids in neuro-regulation. I have done it myself, many years ago and after I fully committed to the process, the results have stuck. The current advances in technology have improved the results and its potency. Good luck.
................../ *_) ..... _.----._/..../ ...../................l Put this on your channel _./.......)........) if you wish you could get /__.-|_|---l_l ass raped by a Dinosaur
Those of you with ASPD aren't weighed down by the emotions that can suck the time and energy out of normals. My relationship with my boyfriend has granted me the ability to better see the forest through the trees on so many issues that would otherwise be muddied by overthinking. As time goes by, my own tolerance for people prattling on about their issues has severely diminished.
For every perceived deficit, there is a gain. Normals typically either abhor antisocials (if they're aware of the PD), or if they're evolved enough to recognize that the person before them won't pour a glass chianti, they typically pity their lack of emotion. That's a shame. In so many areas of business and politics, the ability to execute tough decisions without emotion is of benefit to all of us.
I respect individuals on the merit of how they live their life. Plenty an asshole has massacred his family after a drunken rant, fueled by jealousy and ego. And plenty an antisocial has lived his life inside a lab, working on a cure for some disease or other.
People get too caught up in definitions and fail to look at the people as individuals - many with profound differences.
I for one cannot judge. I am not amoral, yet my relationship defies conventional rules.
Sociopaths only despise authority because they desire it, they know that if they were in that position they would be oppressing the masses just as the guys at the top are, it is a perverse sort of envy. Now imagine having all this self worth and and little aul you, disagrees with us, of course we are going to blow up. When you disagree with me it feels as if you have broken one of the commandments, I get an ancient feeling awakening inside of me.
The sociopath thinks that people will say how awesome and amazing they are when they are gone, when in reality everyone will think they were a despicable cunt. HATE HATE LOVE LOVE BORRRRRRRRRRRINGGGGGG
I think open is right there. The fact of the matter is that high functioning aspd aren't ever found. Why? One they are better at hiding it. The way it functions in them is more designed to move them forward and the overall negative violent tendencies are diminished. Not absent just not as prominent.
You are correct, Kesu, I'd not likely be aware of what he is, if not for my own awareness of the intricacies of the PD as a result of my own career. I'd have known he's extreme, but I'd likely not have 'gone there'. But it's on the table with me. I can't imagine he's taken the mask off in many (or any) other situations. And as for petty crap - no, there's no need for that stuff when you've got the world as your playground.
@Anon 1:26 You think antisocials don't fix your teeth, cut open your heart, successfully manage your money or work in a lab? Maybe not in your world, but antisocials function in every walk of life.
But she would soon have found out that you were absolutely indifferent to her.
Not always. Some people never realize it. You can go on and on, walking all over them ignore them or not even see them, and still in their mind you're paying special attention to them and their needs.
N,
I've never felt loneliness, I've never felt ANYTHING! ohh how i love my little bubble hehehheh
Crap! Everybody feels something. It's not about not feeling, it's about not feeling what normal people feel, nor as strongly. Pfh!...
I understand this only too well, I killed Wilde and in actuality found him one of the more amusing guests.
@Soulful you F as I T. Kind is of the heart and so, I am inclined to put in a good word for mannerly. We can not control how words and actions, however well intended, are received. If someone has proceeded civilly and remembered to please and thank then they are, in many instances, buffered. Polite works with more efficacy than eros and mediates volatility in confrontation.
'But she would soon have found out that you were absolutely indifferent to her.'
'Not always. Some people never realize it. You can go on and on, walking all over them ignore them or not even see them, and still in their mind you're paying special attention to them and their needs. '
The smart ones (on the other side) recognize that the best way to conduct an erotic friendship with an antisocial is to also engage in the tap dance for their own self-gain - to enjoy the artful, sarcastic, erotic manipulation and inject a little of their own. There's no sense in being a useless toy. These relationships need to be a fun place to wander with the potential for 'danger' around every bend. Unspoken awareness can heighten the dance and make it a win-win for all concerned... if both parties can hold their own.
Does she like me or attracted to me? Hm. I would say nothing past a superficial level, lust basically, but more than likely I think she is fed up with her living situation, marriage, children, et cetera. She has definitely flirted with me before, but I can't tell if it was just playful or serious. I'm not a good judge of things like that.
I'm not remotely interested in her sexually, and not too much friendship-wise either, but like I said, being liked and on her good side directly affects my relationship with my business partner, and I need to stay in good standing with all of them for this business venture to go off without a hitch. I quit my last job and have been working ridiculous hours, and sometimes I just don't sleep for a few days straight because I'm so focused on what I'm doing that rest and food non-essential in the scope of my actions. I'd hate to waste all this time and effort because a bitch has it out for me, does that make sense?
TNP, do what any intelligent normal would do: Don't cross lines with her by flirting back, and feign politeness, but not overwhelming interest. We're all put in those awkward situations. Just play it carefully and do what you need to do. There will always be situations like this to navigate in business. Your partner's wife. Your secretary. The saleswoman who is a pain in the ass. You simply navigate the waters. She's a peripheral character. If this business of yours flies, you'll have greater fish to fry than her. Learn from your muted interactions with her and utilize what you learn when the going REALLY gets tough.
UKan, is your wife accomplished in her own right? If so, she likely gets a buzz off your personality and enjoys the thrill of the ride. Is she an adrenaline junkie? I'm tending to agree with Soulful. Seems that she's got your number and gets a kick out of things. If you're good enough to her, entertaining and pragmatic, in all probability she'd be bored elsewhere.
You must be a good little psychopath to have kept her. That, or she really does have 'learned helplessness'. But if that were really the case, she'd likely not call it out to you, or even herself in her darkest hour. Seems that you've scored a keeper.
She has school and she takes dance lessons from her best friend down the street. She half jokes. I found it humorous. She lives a good life as I always said. I make money and she makes bread. She's spolied most of the time, but gets a little abuse here and there. Not like I beat her down, I just cut her down verbally and sometimes play mind games with her. She is not a adrenaline junkie she's a introvert. She just follows me wherever I go without fear because she doesn't worry about death or injury.
"That is a stupid question. Of course I would. Hell for a straight million dollars today I'd walk up to the person shoot them right in the forehead and walk away in broad daylight.
Wouldn't be hard. Chances are already that I won't be caught."
so obviously you feel that another being's life is basically "nothing"....same thinking as hilter, stalin, mao.....
you are free to feel that way....yet the universe has a way of fucking those who try to fuck it up........
my relationship to all others is the same as my relationship to bugs.....but luckily, i save bugs.
If you are the leader than Kindness should be only selective. Better to be cruel and feared. People love according to their wants but they fear according to your's. Its always better to be what you can control.
@Note "I'd hate to waste this time and effort because a bitch has it out for me, does that make sense?"
Calling her a bitch is honest yet perhaps she is your master teacher who becomes the grain of sand which becomes your wisdom pearl.
Her perceptions mixed with your paranoia seem dangerous while intoxicated. Tell her you are a workaholic low blood sugar autistic. She will have sympathy and maybe even donate to the cure.
She will get used to your kindness and indifference in time. Try not to be to much of a puzzle, she way want to peal away more layers than you are comfortable with.
@UKan - I'm interested - does she not try to play mindgames in return? I really enjoy the verbal sparring. Makes for good mental exercise. Sparring with a psychopath or analyzing the mindgames would be a good way to ward off early onset Alzheimers. Far more engaging than a crossword puzzle, and a creative venture for both parties.
so obviously you feel that another being's life is basically "nothing"....same thinking as hilter, stalin, mao.....
First off yes those people were probably sociopaths. Hitler felt fierce nationalism though and that the Germanic people were superior. The Jews were hated through out Europe. Perfect targets. Read Mein Kampf. Hmmm what was the point I was making... O yeah that I don't feel bad for sharing a way of thinking with those people.
I don't classify things in good and evil. I only classify things in my interest and not my interest. Why are you asking all these dumb obvious questions? Why are you using so many ellipses? I hate people who type like that... Do you talk with a.... pause in your sentences?... Why are you surpised?... When a person who has a condition that gives them a lack of... empathy... doesn't give a shit about whatever happens to others?
"a person who has a condition that gives them a lack of... empathy."
empathy is only being able to "see/understand" how others feel, nothing more.
so the only way your statement could occur is if you have absolutely no feeling at all, which isn't the case. if you have any feeling at all, and you are not retarded, you can infer others feeling that way too.
so such a "condition" must be based on a "logical personal philosophy" only.
or
you can infer others feeling that way to, but you have the "uncontrollable impulse" to disregard it.
"so the only way your statement could occur is if you have absolutely no feeling at all, which isn't the case. if you have any feeling at all, and you are not retarded, you can infer others feeling that way too."
Sympathy, compassion, and mercy are all functions of empathy. The ability to not only know but feel in some sense what someone is going through and identify with it empathy. The definition of what empathy is isn't very good. I can intellectualize all that but I can't relate to it. Pick the person you are closest to and imagine them getting beaten tortured and raped. Do you feel like you want to stop it? That is empathy. Don't feel that. Don't care. What I think is... Sucks to be them.
Fucking retard. You can read a sentence but you can't gain comprehension of what it means.
@ UKan 'Verbally sparring with me is no picnic. She doesn't like mind games. She doesn't like tricking people. That's my thing.'
I don't like mind games - with others. But if my bf chooses to play them with me, for sport, he needs to be prepared for what's coming back his way. I am an empath. An INFP. I give it my all to everyone in my life, and he is no different. His needs are just different than other's.
And yes, as Soulful said, 'Mind games are delicious for lovers. They do sharpen the mind, ravage the heart. Marriage is best a complementary blend.'
Truer words could not be spoken. Some like it bland. Some like routine. Not me. I love sparring with my special friend. I gain more from he and his insight than I do from anyone else in my life. And that doesn't mean he doesn't shock and horrify me at times. He does. He reveals things to me that make me pause to consider. But that is his world, and he is more highly productive than anyone I know.
With some people, it's worth cutting them a lot of slack - even when they are amoral. I wouldn't waste a moment of my time if not for the extreme strengths and business acumen. A flower to some looks very different to another. The day I don't see beauty in the unique package that is he, I'll be long gone.
What do you mean by sparring? I doubt your sociopath would let you talk back to him, sociopaths only allow banter they do not allow others to directly attack them or underestimate them, they would have a rage attack, it's funny because they are always underestimating and talking shit about everyone else. Your so called sociopath is doing a bad job if he is allowing you to speak back to him, most sociopaths would intimidate and threaten their spouse even if they refuse orders.
you're confusing simple sadism with a more nuanced relationship.
Sparring is a healthy distraction between people who don't enjoy making concessions. They don't want to show vulnerability. When you "let someone win" or let it go, or succumb, you are doing so with you balls intact. no on wants to be able to railroad a mate. We want to respect them the way we would want to respect ourselves. Ultimately you want to stay together, so it's wise to take turns letting the other win.
I don't talk back to him. Ever. Sparring? Yes - typically of a sexual nature, but it can also venture into politics and various other areas. And yes, he 'wins' and presumes he has the upper hand.
I learned early on to never directly attack. Not ever - but I'm a fast learner. The simplest things could get fast out of hand. I know what his rage is, and I've seen it inflicted on others. I don't ever underestimate him, but I don't enrage him, either. I walk a fine line, and that is an art - and certainly not for the weak at heart. He's not a 'so called sociopath'. I'd never make the mistake to presume 'so called'. Not ever. I'm no fool.
@Bella. Yes - you are right. It is a nuanced relationship. If he felt sadistic toward me, I wouldn't be there. The presumption by anonymous is that there is no respect. There is respect on both sides and he is fiercely loyal to a select few. There are just certain lines that must never be crossed.
Your mistake is confusing loyalty with dedication to an idea. Whether that is a relationship, a business or a child, it's all about furthering the cause, not the actual person.
Good point, Notable. Very good point. Without the potential for gain on the part of the socio, 'loyalty' fails to exist. Then again, for normals like me, does loyalty also not require gain? If not monetary, it could simply be those feel-good feelings we get.
This i felt with my ex and i loved it. When i meet other men who want to bestow me with power i don't value it as much. I have a very difficult time with men who give it up for me, so to speak. I do not respect blind worship. I get very very bored with that. I want to be challenged to be a better person, not to continue on with my selfishness unchecked
Kesu: If you were able to open yourself to forming connections you'd understand what loneliness is.
Haven loneliness sucks. When a person opens themeself up to a bonding experience, when/if that relationship fails, loneliness will happen. I don't know bout anyone else here,but I also avoid loving, tender relationships. I break them off, or they end for some reason, and then I am lonely. I don't like to be alone, but I prefer it to being with people who don't interest me. Unfortunately not too many people interest me, so I end up alone, and sometimes lonely. It is sad for me. People avoid sadness, so they avoid the source - a feared broken attachment, perhaps.
I am sorry that I said being borderline sucks, up there, Haven. It wasn't meant to hurt you. I think it sucks because I have it too. And I visit your blog daily. I have issues so I have a hard time posting.
"Fucking retard. You can read a sentence but you can't gain comprehension of what it means."
i find u the idiot.
firstly, sympathy means what u said, not empathy.
any fucking idiot, even like u, has some empathy.
my opinion is you were seriously fucked over, now you hate everyone alive, wanting to see everyone damaged no matter who, like a revenge thing on everyone living.
well, i feel sorry for ya, that you were fucked over so badly, and you have no light left, only rage and hatred.
it wont be long before you join the rest of "the crew" up in the penal system.
make sure to try and keep your ass cheek tight, and your asshole puckered, and remember don't drop the soap!!!
@Anon 1:38 "He is fiercely loyal to a select few."
'That could change in a heart beat with a sociopath. Sociopaths usually see loyal individuals as weak they sneer and feel superior to do gooders.'
Those he is fiercely loyal to have something to offer. They are essential to his position in life, and one or two of them are also high functioning socios. If you're in the highest levels of big business, you'll understand this. They are his equals, and without loyalty in those situations, wealth could be crushed, or nasty games played with devastating outcomes.
As for me, yes, his loyalty to me could be crushed - and was once. I'm well aware of the line I walk. But like the other small group, I provide something unique, beyond our sexual encounters. Suffice to say, for him there is also a level of intrigue about me, that relates to specifics I won't get into here. I fuel something in him, and also, he has yet to truly conquer me. If I let that happen, yes - all loyalty and respect would vanish.
Do you know what, Souful? You just nailed it. I have grown as a person and as a woman through him. There is a serious benefit to me. And what you described above, describes who I am now. I'm not sure the same could have been said five years ago. He's unwittingly forced me to up my game, in every aspect of my life.
I always maintain, the best gifts come in the most unlikely wrappings.
Soulful, outside of the past few threads here, I don't know anything about you. Where do you fall in the myriad spectrums that have converged in this unusual space? You are a bit of a conundrum, although I have my suspicions. I'll leave it to you to respond as you may.
Anonymous said... I lose interest in women very fast, I just see them as bags of flesh, sometimes their pretty, but a day later you will find a better looking one. I don't understand old guys who stay married to their saggy old wife ugly wife for so long, you only get one shot at life. even when I'm old i will be banging young women.
lol. old penises and banging somehow doesn't go together.
Openminded, I am private as I am playful. I have a fierce compassion for the totality of life, the creative and the destructive. On some level I live a very stable, successful and conventional life and on the other level I have the freedom to break the rules I just don't see. I have always been attracted to Power as I have Love.
I am unusual and dynamic. The men I deeply love are unusual and handfuls. My arena of spiritual practices offer the discipline of mind to make good use of my wiring.
@Soulful - I am like you, in many ways. I don't fit inside the box and I don't do regret. I give the look of normalcy to the outside world, but my life has been far from it. Too much time in far-away places has changed me, and my perspective on humanity. I am not quick to judge, and a label means little to me.
Travel, which I also love does has that effect ( I love Europe especially). American culture is so very narrow, especially regarding sexuality. Psychological labeling is a crux. Human beings are ultimately complex and have a varieties of capacities. The true capacities of the human spirit can be witnessed in the varieties of cultures, the arts and through out history. Sorrow and joy I can do. Regret I am not wired for either.
Soulful, I am either light and dark, or both at the same time. And I can compartmentalize.
More light is the ultimate goal; the dark is too much to handle. It's too heavy.
how does one forget with a mind such as mine? Drugs, I guess!?
I am heavy. I am too heavy. Someone asked me why I like to play games. I didn't think I did. It is not usual that i do this. Maybe my ex taught me to take pleasure in them. It is a nice escape. No?
"TNP usually seems like a really nice and helpful guy, but sometimes I swear he's totally different person, and doesn't remotely care about me."
ReplyDelete-Wife of one of my business partners
I've run into an issue recently, relating to this. I've been spending a lot of time with my business partners lately, one particularly, and his wife sensed that something seemed off about me, or so he mentioned while we we're enjoying drunken company funded shenanigans. I guess I have been so focused on our business that my indifference was intensified when planning business endeavors, not giving a shit about some prattling woman whose presence I have to occasionally suffer.
Indifference is one thing, because it's virtually always there when it doesn't involve me, but when someone gets in my way, or halts it due to some issue that pertains only to them, I have to go out of my way seem like I give a shit. Normally, I just don't care with most people, but considering this is a spouse of one of my business partners, I should probably improve my game.
The sad thing is, I don't want to be indifferent to it all. If these are people that I'm going to be spending many profitable years with, forming some kind of bond would be nice. Ideal, actually. I don't know. I can only compensate for what I emotionally lack.
ok kesu....would u waste someone for 1 million.....if there was no way u would or could b caught?
ReplyDeletemake that any amount of money u want.
ReplyDeleteNote, your Dad just passed away, use that along with the focusing on the new bussiness. If she's an empath that would be the best explaination.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't want to be kind to people don't be kind to people. And let the chips fall where they may. And take it on the chin.
ReplyDeleteI don't know why half of you pretend to be nice in person, are you afraid of confrontation or something? When you command people they give and give to please you.
ReplyDeletewhy does sociapaths want to know how old you think they are
ReplyDeleteBecause that doesn't always work Anon. If your going to have future dealing's with someone you could end up having a spouse take up an offence for what they consider to be against their partner. Why start off that way.
ReplyDeleteHe apparently doesn't want this to become a problem with his partner in bussiness. I say that's a wise decision.
I see someone brooding, I might ask them once if everything is alright, they have a reason then it's understandable, they don't I walk away, they have problems, and it's not worth my time.
Brooding face = self centered
Your problem, not mine
I don't understand why you should care about this woman or why she expects you to. Have you known her for long? Who did you overhear her saying that to? Do you think she secretly has feelings for you?
ReplyDeleteI lose interest in women very fast, I just see them as bags of flesh, sometimes their pretty, but a day later you will find a better looking one. I don't understand old guys who stay married to their saggy old wife ugly wife for so long, you only get one shot at life. even when I'm old i will be banging young women.
ReplyDeleteoh joy, the narc and the hate machine have returned!
ReplyDeleteTNP usually writes a block of text that has no point whatsoever and isn't interesting one bit.
ReplyDeleteTNP, go to a psychologist with this kind of problems. FUCK OFF the web. Idiot.
PS: you can't even spell "were" correctly. WE'RE means we are. Stupid fucking idiot.
737
ReplyDeleteyou know that would be fine for some women if you "allowed" her the same freedom(not that it would be satisfying) we want to get fucked on a regular basis. it's a human need. hell, i will buy you an ergodynamic dildo so you can fuck me without even having to use your flacid dick. you expect to take without the give? You kind of deserve to be cuckholded.....believe me, it is not easy not to cheat when your hubby is screwing behind your back and/or won't screw you,,, and it takes a certain kind of person to be there for the selfish types who will hang in there without TAKING, SELFISHLY, back. You wonder why we would marry for money.... lots of eyerolling is wasted energy. You wonder why people leave you. Really? it is a chore to be in a relationship with you. We want some shit in return, and if it's cash, we just might make that deal. It can be an empty exchange. but much of life is.
737
ReplyDeleteyou will be banging whores and coke heads, blowing you without giving a shit for you. no wonder so many of you are sex addicts and spend hours on the net jerking off. You want to fuck your mommy and you know it
Every man has a cock, your not special. Anon 7:37
ReplyDelete" saggy old wife ugly wife for so long "
ReplyDeletethen you better get a job and pony up for a facelift, personal trainer, and nanny so we can relax trying to be all pretty. FOR YOU! (and others, but if you're gonna be a dick we will lie and say "it's all for you, Baby". ...Just like the whores say. ..You know they're rolling their eyes and say that bs
The only difference between masturbating and sex is that when you have sex you also meet people.
ReplyDelete"ok kesu....would u waste someone for 1 million.....if there was no way u would or could b caught?"
ReplyDeleteThat is a stupid question. Of course I would. Hell for a straight million dollars today I'd walk up to the person shoot them right in the forehead and walk away in broad daylight.
Wouldn't be hard. Chances are already that I won't be caught. If a police station has a 30% rate of "catching" murders then that is considered a great rate. So you gotta figure that is 30% of known murders. There are still the murders that go unknown. Also, how often do they catch the right guy? Even when they catch the right guy how often does he get off the hook? A good lawyer can get you out of a lot of messes.
lol, who the fuck is this frank guy? frank, your insults are retarded and make you look stupid.
ReplyDelete"The sad thing is, I don't want to be indifferent to it all. If these are people that I'm going to be spending many profitable years with, forming some kind of bond would be nice. Ideal, actually. I don't know. I can only compensate for what I emotionally lack."
ReplyDeleteYou stealing from my play book now TNP? =P I didn't think you'd write something like that. You ever feel like killing everyone in a room because you know afterwards you will feel the same but the difference would be you don't have to listen or hear the noise.
I've been thinking about connections recently. I'm going through a particular spat of boredom. I rarely go through these where there is nothing going on at all around me and there is nothing I can think of doing. One thing people always ask me is how do you have time to do this or that? Like I read several books learn something new. How do you have time to do all that? My answer has always been I just do it. You can too. The truth is though none of my time is wasted by connections to people. That is why I have so much time. If I want to go out I call up people and they come. People call me all the time and I ignore most phones calls unless I think it is something actually purposeful. So I have abundant amounts of time to read or do whatever.
All in all being around people is a huge annoyance. I hate them. I can't remember too many pleasurable experiences from my childhood that were mutually pleasurable. As a child I use to hear my mother yelling at me even when I was alone. It would make me snap around. I suppose that would be an auditory hallucination.
Indifference is often times a bigger insult than being unkind.
ReplyDeleteKesu, does that mean that you'd be interested in seeing what this forming connections to people thing is all about? (For the sake of being less bored atm)
ReplyDeleteKindness is easy for me. Superficial relationships with people I am forced to associated with with no intellect or sense of humor is at times boring. Yet I am kind. I do appreciate simple people who are in alignment with their work and service. Kindness is a frequency of gratitude, not an emotion and it feels good to my nervous system. It's the elemental Eros, our social lubricant. Soft power. Co-dependency is a unconscious calculated use of power which is selfish and wells up from need, is much more narrow focused and trouble follows.
ReplyDeleteI say kindness is an expanded focus art form worthy of exercise to the indifferent.
Absolutely. Truth of the matter is I never feel lonely because even in a group I don't feel connected. Isolation has the same effect on me that being in a large group does. The difference is I don't have to blend in in isolation.
ReplyDeleteI think it is the reason why I want to be loved etc etc. It is because I can't feel love. I can't receive it just like I can't give it. That is why I always get them to make gestures of their love because in truth I can't feel it. The gestures that I demand just keep getting grander too. In the end I want them to live and breath for my sake alone. I want them willing to give up their life for me even though I would never return the feeling.
"I say kindness is an expanded focus art form worthy of exercise to the indifferent."
ReplyDeleteI liket this. Kindness, politeness... common courtesy. I agree it is not of an emotive frequency. It's a useful tool in superficial relationships.
I too am almost always kind to those strange to me, or coworkers. They never suspect or believe that someone so turbulent stands in front of them when all they see is a superficial smile. I think I am both less kind and infinitely moreso with those that I am close to. They get the slipping of my control, but they also get the genuine concern and caring. As genuine as I can be. I wonder some days.
Shallow Stability or Unstable Genuineness. Which is better I wonder.
Haven, Sweet! Shallow Stability keeps society from anarchy. Unstable Genuineness is an exercise in intimacy. ;-)
ReplyDeleteKesu . . . We love you. ;-)
ReplyDeleteJust the way you are.
Kesu: If you were able to open yourself to forming connections you'd understand what loneliness is. Your entire mentality and ideas of what you would want from and expect from a lover would shift. I want to ask, how do you think it would feel to want to be loved, but also to love in return? To want to do something for someone else solely to see them smile? I'm like you in that I can feel very isolated in large crowds. No one there is really on my level and I tend towards observation rather than participation. I could be doing any number of more useful things while actually being alone instead of surrounding myself in unproductive loneliness. It doesn't necessarily have to do with crowds. With love though, you'd know loneliness when they're away. It's not a powerful feeling. It's an emptiness lined with less pleasant things.
ReplyDeleteIt's silly isn't it to even think of asking such a thing. You dont know. Then again, I'm not sure I do either.
Soulful... ::laughs:: Too true! Could you imagine if it were the other way around? Oh the business world would crumble and our future generations would cease to be a thought.
ReplyDeleteAnd seconded. Never change Kesu =)
I've never felt loneliness, I've never felt ANYTHING! ohh how i love my little bubble hehehheh
ReplyDeleteI think in truth that the bi-polar disorder is more disruptive to me than the aspd. As I read more about aspd I find that it is paired with disorders such as mine very commonly. It makes me wonder if I should just treat the bi-polar. The only treatment regiments that I've seen for aspd are pyschotherapy, talk therapy, and general treatments for depression.
ReplyDeleteKesu chilling with his cricket buddies.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIlRjb9vMVk
Kesu, research neurofeedback treatments and bi-polar disorders. It exists as a non-drug therapy and it's great. All practitioners and programs are not alike. Research well. It works with strong commitment in finishing the series of treatments. I learned the hard way. The technique aids in neuro-regulation. I have done it myself, many years ago and after I fully committed to the process, the results have stuck. The current advances in technology have improved the results and its potency. Good luck.
ReplyDelete................../ *_)
ReplyDelete..... _.----._/..../
...../................l Put this on your channel
_./.......)........) if you wish you could get
/__.-|_|---l_l ass raped by a Dinosaur
Those of you with ASPD aren't weighed down by the emotions that can suck the time and energy out of normals. My relationship with my boyfriend has granted me the ability to better see the forest through the trees on so many issues that would otherwise be muddied by overthinking. As time goes by, my own tolerance for people prattling on about their issues has severely diminished.
ReplyDeleteFor every perceived deficit, there is a gain. Normals typically either abhor antisocials (if they're aware of the PD), or if they're evolved enough to recognize that the person before them won't pour a glass chianti, they typically pity their lack of emotion. That's a shame. In so many areas of business and politics, the ability to execute tough decisions without emotion is of benefit to all of us.
I respect individuals on the merit of how they live their life. Plenty an asshole has massacred his family after a drunken rant, fueled by jealousy and ego. And plenty an antisocial has lived his life inside a lab, working on a cure for some disease or other.
People get too caught up in definitions and fail to look at the people as individuals - many with profound differences.
I for one cannot judge. I am not amoral, yet my relationship defies conventional rules.
http://music-mix.ew.com/2011/06/14/kanye-west-mamas-boyfriend/
ReplyDelete"And plenty an antisocial has lived his life inside a lab, working on a cure for some disease or other."
ReplyDeletelolwut?
Sociopaths only despise authority because they desire it, they know that if they were in that position they would be oppressing the masses just as the guys at the top are, it is a perverse sort of envy. Now imagine having all this self worth and and little aul you, disagrees with us, of course we are going to blow up. When you disagree with me it feels as if you have broken one of the commandments, I get an ancient feeling awakening inside of me.
ReplyDeleteThe sociopath thinks that people will say how awesome and amazing they are when they are gone, when in reality everyone will think they were a despicable cunt. HATE HATE LOVE LOVE BORRRRRRRRRRRINGGGGGG
I think open is right there. The fact of the matter is that high functioning aspd aren't ever found. Why? One they are better at hiding it. The way it functions in them is more designed to move them forward and the overall negative violent tendencies are diminished. Not absent just not as prominent.
ReplyDeleteYou are correct, Kesu, I'd not likely be aware of what he is, if not for my own awareness of the intricacies of the PD as a result of my own career. I'd have known he's extreme, but I'd likely not have 'gone there'. But it's on the table with me. I can't imagine he's taken the mask off in many (or any) other situations. And as for petty crap - no, there's no need for that stuff when you've got the world as your playground.
ReplyDelete@Anon 1:26
ReplyDeleteYou think antisocials don't fix your teeth, cut open your heart, successfully manage your money or work in a lab? Maybe not in your world, but antisocials function in every walk of life.
But she would soon have found out that you were absolutely indifferent to her.
ReplyDeleteNot always. Some people never realize it. You can go on and on, walking all over them ignore them or not even see them, and still in their mind you're paying special attention to them and their needs.
N,
I've never felt loneliness, I've never felt ANYTHING! ohh how i love my little bubble hehehheh
Crap! Everybody feels something. It's not about not feeling, it's about not feeling what normal people feel, nor as strongly. Pfh!...
I understand this only too well, I killed Wilde and in actuality found him one of the more amusing guests.
ReplyDelete@Soulful you F as I T. Kind is of the heart and so, I am inclined to put in a good word for mannerly. We can not control how words and actions, however well intended, are received. If someone has proceeded civilly and remembered to please and thank then they are, in many instances, buffered. Polite works with more efficacy than eros and mediates volatility in confrontation.
'But she would soon have found out that you were absolutely indifferent to her.'
ReplyDelete'Not always. Some people never realize it. You can go on and on, walking all over them ignore them or not even see them, and still in their mind you're paying special attention to them and their needs. '
The smart ones (on the other side) recognize that the best way to conduct an erotic friendship with an antisocial is to also engage in the tap dance for their own self-gain - to enjoy the artful, sarcastic, erotic manipulation and inject a little of their own. There's no sense in being a useless toy. These relationships need to be a fun place to wander with the potential for 'danger' around every bend. Unspoken awareness can heighten the dance and make it a win-win for all concerned... if both parties can hold their own.
Does she like me or attracted to me? Hm. I would say nothing past a superficial level, lust basically, but more than likely I think she is fed up with her living situation, marriage, children, et cetera. She has definitely flirted with me before, but I can't tell if it was just playful or serious. I'm not a good judge of things like that.
ReplyDeleteI'm not remotely interested in her sexually, and not too much friendship-wise either, but like I said, being liked and on her good side directly affects my relationship with my business partner, and I need to stay in good standing with all of them for this business venture to go off without a hitch. I quit my last job and have been working ridiculous hours, and sometimes I just don't sleep for a few days straight because I'm so focused on what I'm doing that rest and food non-essential in the scope of my actions. I'd hate to waste all this time and effort because a bitch has it out for me, does that make sense?
TNP, do what any intelligent normal would do: Don't cross lines with her by flirting back, and feign politeness, but not overwhelming interest. We're all put in those awkward situations. Just play it carefully and do what you need to do. There will always be situations like this to navigate in business. Your partner's wife. Your secretary. The saleswoman who is a pain in the ass. You simply navigate the waters. She's a peripheral character. If this business of yours flies, you'll have greater fish to fry than her. Learn from your muted interactions with her and utilize what you learn when the going REALLY gets tough.
ReplyDelete"Because when you talk to me it makes me panic"
ReplyDelete-My employee on why she's crying
"Learned helplessness"
My wife on why she's still with me
"You are on the side of evil"
Psychology student at the club before walking away from our conversation
"My doctor said I might not be able to jog again. You didn't have to do that."
Victim on why I should feel guilty
Get over it Not Able. If you don't want people to know you don't reveal yourself. If you do, laugh at the responses don't bitch about it.
ukan does your wife complain ? how does she deal with the knowledge she is helpless" Does your wife have hobbies outside of YOU?
ReplyDeleteClubs and corporations are both businesses. Yet the rules of engagement are different.
ReplyDeleteUkan, she says "learned helplessness" to make you smile. I think she's got your number.
UKan, is your wife accomplished in her own right? If so, she likely gets a buzz off your personality and enjoys the thrill of the ride. Is she an adrenaline junkie? I'm tending to agree with Soulful. Seems that she's got your number and gets a kick out of things. If you're good enough to her, entertaining and pragmatic, in all probability she'd be bored elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteYou must be a good little psychopath to have kept her. That, or she really does have 'learned helplessness'. But if that were really the case, she'd likely not call it out to you, or even herself in her darkest hour. Seems that you've scored a keeper.
She has school and she takes dance lessons from her best friend down the street.
ReplyDeleteShe half jokes. I found it humorous. She lives a good life as I always said. I make money and she makes bread. She's spolied most of the time, but gets a little abuse here and there. Not like I beat her down, I just cut her down verbally and sometimes play mind games with her.
She is not a adrenaline junkie she's a introvert. She just follows me wherever I go without fear because she doesn't worry about death or injury.
"That is a stupid question. Of course I would. Hell for a straight million dollars today I'd walk up to the person shoot them right in the forehead and walk away in broad daylight.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't be hard. Chances are already that I won't be caught."
so obviously you feel that another being's life is basically "nothing"....same thinking as hilter, stalin, mao.....
you are free to feel that way....yet the universe has a way of fucking those who try to fuck it up........
my relationship to all others is the same as my relationship to bugs.....but luckily, i save bugs.
A million dollars? You better be killing a world leader for me at that price.
ReplyDeleteIf somebody thinks your cold they will try to do stuff for you to make you warm up to them. This is the time you get the most out of someone.
ReplyDeleteif someone cold to me i will make it a point to fuck them up.
ReplyDeleteIf you are the leader than Kindness should be only selective. Better to be cruel and feared. People love according to their wants but they fear according to your's. Its always better to be what you can control.
ReplyDelete@Note "I'd hate to waste this time and effort because a bitch has it out for me, does that make sense?"
ReplyDeleteCalling her a bitch is honest yet perhaps she is your master teacher who becomes the grain of sand which becomes your wisdom pearl.
Her perceptions mixed with your paranoia seem dangerous while intoxicated. Tell her you are a workaholic low blood sugar autistic. She will have sympathy and maybe even donate to the cure.
She will get used to your kindness and indifference in time. Try not to be to much of a puzzle, she way want to peal away more layers than you are comfortable with.
@UKan - I'm interested - does she not try to play mindgames in return? I really enjoy the verbal sparring. Makes for good mental exercise. Sparring with a psychopath or analyzing the mindgames would be a good way to ward off early onset Alzheimers. Far more engaging than a crossword puzzle, and a creative venture for both parties.
ReplyDeleteVerbally sparring with me is no picnic. She doesn't like mind games. She doesn't like tricking people. That's my thing.
ReplyDeleteso obviously you feel that another being's life is basically "nothing"....same thinking as hilter, stalin, mao.....
ReplyDeleteFirst off yes those people were probably sociopaths. Hitler felt fierce nationalism though and that the Germanic people were superior. The Jews were hated through out Europe. Perfect targets. Read Mein Kampf. Hmmm what was the point I was making... O yeah that I don't feel bad for sharing a way of thinking with those people.
I don't classify things in good and evil. I only classify things in my interest and not my interest. Why are you asking all these dumb obvious questions? Why are you using so many ellipses? I hate people who type like that... Do you talk with a.... pause in your sentences?... Why are you surpised?... When a person who has a condition that gives them a lack of... empathy... doesn't give a shit about whatever happens to others?
Openminded,
ReplyDeleteMind games are delicious for lovers. They do sharpen the mind, ravage the heart. Marriage is best a complementary blend.
Ukan, she is your feminine moral compass. Gives you the freedom to be yourself.
lol.....good! lol...
ReplyDeletei don't see where this comes from:
"a person who has a condition that gives them a lack of... empathy."
empathy is only being able to "see/understand" how others feel, nothing more.
so the only way your statement could occur is if you have absolutely no feeling at all, which isn't the case. if you have any feeling at all, and you are not retarded, you can infer others feeling that way too.
so such a "condition" must be based on a "logical personal philosophy" only.
or
you can infer others feeling that way to, but you have the "uncontrollable impulse" to disregard it.
"so the only way your statement could occur is if you have absolutely no feeling at all, which isn't the case. if you have any feeling at all, and you are not retarded, you can infer others feeling that way too."
ReplyDeleteSympathy, compassion, and mercy are all functions of empathy. The ability to not only know but feel in some sense what someone is going through and identify with it empathy. The definition of what empathy is isn't very good. I can intellectualize all that but I can't relate to it. Pick the person you are closest to and imagine them getting beaten tortured and raped. Do you feel like you want to stop it? That is empathy. Don't feel that. Don't care. What I think is... Sucks to be them.
Fucking retard. You can read a sentence but you can't gain comprehension of what it means.
@ UKan
ReplyDelete'Verbally sparring with me is no picnic. She doesn't like mind games. She doesn't like tricking people. That's my thing.'
I don't like mind games - with others. But if my bf chooses to play them with me, for sport, he needs to be prepared for what's coming back his way. I am an empath. An INFP. I give it my all to everyone in my life, and he is no different. His needs are just different than other's.
And yes, as Soulful said, 'Mind games are delicious for lovers. They do sharpen the mind, ravage the heart. Marriage is best a complementary blend.'
Truer words could not be spoken. Some like it bland. Some like routine. Not me. I love sparring with my special friend. I gain more from he and his insight than I do from anyone else in my life. And that doesn't mean he doesn't shock and horrify me at times. He does. He reveals things to me that make me pause to consider. But that is his world, and he is more highly productive than anyone I know.
With some people, it's worth cutting them a lot of slack - even when they are amoral. I wouldn't waste a moment of my time if not for the extreme strengths and business acumen. A flower to some looks very different to another. The day I don't see beauty in the unique package that is he, I'll be long gone.
What do you mean by sparring? I doubt your sociopath would let you talk back to him, sociopaths only allow banter they do not allow others to directly attack them or underestimate them, they would have a rage attack, it's funny because they are always underestimating and talking shit about everyone else. Your so called sociopath is doing a bad job if he is allowing you to speak back to him, most sociopaths would intimidate and threaten their spouse even if they refuse orders.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteyou're confusing simple sadism with a more nuanced relationship.
ReplyDeleteSparring is a healthy distraction between people who don't enjoy making concessions. They don't want to show vulnerability. When you "let someone win" or let it go, or succumb, you are doing so with you balls intact. no on wants to be able to railroad a mate. We want to respect them the way we would want to respect ourselves. Ultimately you want to stay together, so it's wise to take turns letting the other win.
I don't talk back to him. Ever. Sparring? Yes - typically of a sexual nature, but it can also venture into politics and various other areas. And yes, he 'wins' and presumes he has the upper hand.
ReplyDeleteI learned early on to never directly attack. Not ever - but I'm a fast learner. The simplest things could get fast out of hand. I know what his rage is, and I've seen it inflicted on others. I don't ever underestimate him, but I don't enrage him, either. I walk a fine line, and that is an art - and certainly not for the weak at heart. He's not a 'so called sociopath'. I'd never make the mistake to presume 'so called'. Not ever. I'm no fool.
@Bella.
ReplyDeleteYes - you are right. It is a nuanced relationship. If he felt sadistic toward me, I wouldn't be there. The presumption by anonymous is that there is no respect. There is respect on both sides and he is fiercely loyal to a select few. There are just certain lines that must never be crossed.
Your mistake is confusing loyalty with dedication to an idea. Whether that is a relationship, a business or a child, it's all about furthering the cause, not the actual person.
ReplyDeleteGood point, Notable. Very good point. Without the potential for gain on the part of the socio, 'loyalty' fails to exist. Then again, for normals like me, does loyalty also not require gain? If not monetary, it could simply be those feel-good feelings we get.
ReplyDeleteBut yes, I get what you're saying.
"he is fiercely loyal to a select few"
ReplyDeleteThat could change in a heart beat with a sociopath. Sociopaths usually see loyal individuals as weak they sneer and feel superior to do gooders.
This i felt with my ex and i loved it. When i meet other men who want to bestow me with power i don't value it as much. I have a very difficult time with men who give it up for me, so to speak. I do not respect blind worship. I get very very bored with that. I want to be challenged to be a better person, not to continue on with my selfishness unchecked
ReplyDeleteThis is jail^
ReplyDeleteBut maybe my "selfishness" is a delusion. Fucking borderline crap. Sick of living this way.
ReplyDeleteout
ReplyDeleteKesu: If you were able to open yourself to forming connections you'd understand what loneliness is.
ReplyDeleteHaven loneliness sucks. When a person opens themeself up to a bonding experience, when/if that relationship fails, loneliness will happen. I don't know bout anyone else here,but I also avoid loving, tender relationships. I break them off, or they end for some reason, and then I am lonely. I don't like to be alone, but I prefer it to being with people who don't interest me. Unfortunately not too many people interest me, so I end up alone, and sometimes lonely. It is sad for me. People avoid sadness, so they avoid the source - a feared broken attachment, perhaps.
I am sorry that I said being borderline sucks, up there, Haven. It wasn't meant to hurt you. I think it sucks because I have it too. And I visit your blog daily. I have issues so I have a hard time posting.
ReplyDelete"Fucking retard. You can read a sentence but you can't gain comprehension of what it means."
ReplyDeletei find u the idiot.
firstly, sympathy means what u said, not empathy.
any fucking idiot, even like u, has some empathy.
my opinion is you were seriously fucked over, now you hate everyone alive, wanting to see everyone damaged no matter who, like a revenge thing on everyone living.
well, i feel sorry for ya, that you were fucked over so badly, and you have no light left, only rage and hatred.
it wont be long before you join the rest of "the crew" up in the penal system.
make sure to try and keep your ass cheek tight, and your asshole puckered, and remember don't drop the soap!!!
@Anon 1:38
ReplyDelete"He is fiercely loyal to a select few."
'That could change in a heart beat with a sociopath. Sociopaths usually see loyal individuals as weak they sneer and feel superior to do gooders.'
Those he is fiercely loyal to have something to offer. They are essential to his position in life, and one or two of them are also high functioning socios. If you're in the highest levels of big business, you'll understand this. They are his equals, and without loyalty in those situations, wealth could be crushed, or nasty games played with devastating outcomes.
As for me, yes, his loyalty to me could be crushed - and was once. I'm well aware of the line I walk. But like the other small group, I provide something unique, beyond our sexual encounters. Suffice to say, for him there is also a level of intrigue about me, that relates to specifics I won't get into here. I fuel something in him, and also, he has yet to truly conquer me. If I let that happen, yes - all loyalty and respect would vanish.
I can see why he keeps you, you are very agreeable.
ReplyDeleteAgreeable in a rather disagreeable way. Accepting and understanding of who and what he is, but a push-over I am not.
ReplyDeleteOpenminded, Bravo. A true woman is fully open, vulnerable, strong, mysterious and never captured. A guiding light.
ReplyDeleteBella, be the light. Your loneliness will vanish when You are love.
Do you know what, Souful? You just nailed it. I have grown as a person and as a woman through him. There is a serious benefit to me. And what you described above, describes who I am now. I'm not sure the same could have been said five years ago. He's unwittingly forced me to up my game, in every aspect of my life.
ReplyDeleteI always maintain, the best gifts come in the most unlikely wrappings.
Soulful, outside of the past few threads here, I don't know anything about you. Where do you fall in the myriad spectrums that have converged in this unusual space? You are a bit of a conundrum, although I have my suspicions. I'll leave it to you to respond as you may.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous said...
ReplyDeleteI lose interest in women very fast, I just see them as bags of flesh, sometimes their pretty, but a day later you will find a better looking one. I don't understand old guys who stay married to their saggy old wife ugly wife for so long, you only get one shot at life. even when I'm old i will be banging young women.
lol. old penises and banging somehow doesn't go together.
Openminded, I am private as I am playful. I have a fierce compassion for the totality of life, the creative and the destructive. On some level I live a very stable, successful and conventional life and on the other level I have the freedom to break the rules I just don't see. I have always been attracted to Power as I have Love.
ReplyDeleteI am unusual and dynamic. The men I deeply love are unusual and handfuls. My arena of spiritual practices offer the discipline of mind to make good use of my wiring.
@Soulful -
ReplyDeleteI am like you, in many ways. I don't fit inside the box and I don't do regret. I give the look of normalcy to the outside world, but my life has been far from it. Too much time in far-away places has changed me, and my perspective on humanity. I am not quick to judge, and a label means little to me.
lol. old penises and banging somehow doesn't go together
ReplyDeleteoh zoe. you are a woman after my own heart, aren't you?
Travel, which I also love does has that effect ( I love Europe especially). American culture is so very narrow, especially regarding sexuality. Psychological labeling is a crux. Human beings are ultimately complex and have a varieties of capacities. The true capacities of the human spirit can be witnessed in the varieties of cultures, the arts and through out history. Sorrow and joy I can do. Regret I am not wired for either.
ReplyDeleteSoulful, I am either light and dark, or both at the same time. And I can compartmentalize.
ReplyDeleteMore light is the ultimate goal;
the dark is too much to handle. It's too heavy.
how does one forget with a mind such as mine? Drugs, I guess!?
I am heavy. I am too heavy.
Someone asked me why I like to play games. I didn't think I did. It is not usual that i do this. Maybe my ex taught me to take pleasure in them. It is a nice escape. No?
See a shaman.
ReplyDelete