I just finished reading "Mygale," by Thierry Jonquet. It's a quick and entertaining French noir novella that strongly features re-education in a gritty and thought provoking way. I would include a few passages, but I lost my copy somewhere along the journey. But this is how one reviewer described it:
"(T)his short novel embraces sexual horror with relish; it feels at times like being pulled on a leash through a Bosch painting with the Marquis de Sade leering from the wings." - Maxim Jakubowski, The GuardianI've just started "In the Woods," by Tana French. It was recommended by someone very interested in sociopathy is, but I am still not sure if it is because there is an explicit sociopath connection or if it is just because the style is very deliciously frank and ambiguous about certain moral issues. Here's an example:
What I warn you to remember is that I am a detective. Our relationship with truth is fundamental but cracked, refracting confusingly like fragmented glass. It is the core of our careers, the endgame of every move we make, and we pursue it with strategies painstakingly constructed of lies and concealment and every variation on deception. The truth is the most desirable woman in the world and we are the most jealous lovers, reflexively denying anyone else the slightest glimpse of her. We betray her routinely, spending hours and days stupor-deep in lies, and then turn back to her holding out the lover's ultimate Möbius strip: But I only did it because I love you so much.
I have a pretty knack for imagery, especially the cheap, facile kind. Don't let me fool you into seeing us as a bunch of parfit gentil knights galloping off in doublets after Lady Truth on her white palfrey. What we do is crude, crass and nasty. A girl gives her boyfriend an alibi for the evening when we suspect him of robbing a north-side Centra and stabbing the clerk. I flirt with her at first, telling her I can see why he would want to stay home when he's got her; she is peroxided and greasy, with the flat, stunted features of generations of malnutrition, and privately I am thinking that if I were her boyfriend I would be relieved to trade her even for a hairy cellmate named Razor. Then I tell her we've found marked bills from the till in his classy white tracksuit bottoms, and he's claiming that she went out that evening and gave them to him when she got back.
I do it so convincingly, with such delicate crosshatching of discomfort and compassion at her man's betrayal, that finally her faith in four shared years disintegrates like a sand castle and through tears and snot, while her man sits with my partner in the next interview room saying nothing except "Fuck off, I was home with Jackie," she tells me everything from the time he left the house to the details of his sexual shortcomings. Then I pat her gently on the shoulder and give her a tissue and a cup of tea, and a statement sheet.
This is my job, and you don't go into it--or, if you do, you don't last-without some natural affinity for its priorities and demands. What I am telling you, before you begin my story, is this-two things: I crave truth. And I lie.
Hart called, she wants her style back *yawn*
ReplyDeletewhy does sociapaths suk?
ReplyDeleteTell Caitlin I want my style back too!
ReplyDeleteWV: bonespit
Im awesome. Always.
ReplyDeleteShould do a review on 48 laws of power.
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ReplyDeleteIs Erin back? Erin, any new thoughts after the profound note that said to get real is only one pathway to the ultimate goal in life and that is to be happy. Many would contest that. For a lot of people ultimate goal is peace and contentment and that could translate as getting to the TRUTH not happiness. Just saying... Whoever wrote the UKan's mom piece yesterday was impressive, could that be Soulful Path with a good control of her poetic impulses?
ReplyDeleteErin, this is what could help you. Instead of trying to empower yourself at a level that your mom's bs could no more hurt you, see the truth in your mom. She is not as important as you make her out to be. Once you see how little she is whatever she may have done to you has nothing to do with what you deserve but what a loser she is. This could also help you sort out your fascination with socios. Look at Kesu, he is an attractive socio on one hand. On the other he is a little loser smoking and enjoying casinos. But then again it is that side of him that could put a mask on and appear interested in someone who puts herself out there as psychic. Seriously, what is with that psychic garbage? That is only good if you are out of any other way of making money and somehow able to find losers who'll pay for you.
u wrote it u faggot and ur erin as well.
ReplyDeleteA particular law you'd care to review Ritchie?
ReplyDeleteNeed to read this book sounded interesting.
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ReplyDeleteThis is great.
ReplyDeletehi hi,, please to praise my words,, my very many words,, please to praise my very very many words,, please to praise my words U,,
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ReplyDeleteSeli said . . . "Soulful Path with a good control of her poetic impulses?"
ReplyDeleteNEVER. It's my playful alchemy with truth and myth. Great summer reading M.E.
"Our relationship with truth is fundamental but cracked . . . The truth is the most desirable woman in the world and we are the most jealous lovers, reflexively denying anyone else the slightest glimpse of her."
Erin, regarding the word yesterday you used, FAKE. Your socio was just more raw instinct and in that regards more real. You are like a multi-veiled temple dancer. Are you sure you want to remove all the covers? Think of all the secondary gains you would lose. Your mother's sexual pleasuring of you defines you like an initiation. It is your REAL and the door knob which opens many doors. Perhaps this socio lover just gave you a new key. I am sure all this shows up in your astrological chart and forecasting.
Buddha quote of the day . . . "In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves."
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ReplyDeletewhy does sociapaths talk like forchune cokies
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ReplyDeleteNo,This is great.
ReplyDelete"why does sociapaths talk like forchune cokies"
ReplyDeletelol
why does sociapaths alwais are cerial kilers
ReplyDeletewas that english? @ 9:47 am
ReplyDelete@soulful... So, you did not write that piece. SOmeone similarly brainy then. "In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves."
SO, clear separation between the truth and the self. The self is getting in the way, yet it is the self who also wants the truth... Is life too tough or what?
today I envy the people who are currently kicking their butt for some gain...
I wonder if ME met any expats on her vacation and if she sensed any bias in who lives abroad in a less-developed part, the socio or the empath expats more?
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ReplyDeletePerhaps Ukan's mom was Note with a kitchen apron.
ReplyDeleteSoulfulpath said...
ReplyDeletePerhaps Ukan's mom was Note with a kitchen apron
Great vision, hilarious.... LOL
Dudes, do you use facebook? If so, how do you use it?
ReplyDeleteHave you ever sent hateful comments to people?
I kinda do that all day and I am kinda afraid because people might see what kind of despicable person I am. And I think that that is a mistake because I won't be able to socialize with them anymore, but it's so fun when someone posts a shitty video to tell them how much it sucks. I just love it, tell me what you think.
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ReplyDeleteWhat a bunch of bullshit coming from Erin. Shut up you stupid fucking whore.
ReplyDeleteI am very curious about what you have to say Erin. Did you do some terrible things in return for abuse? Most would, I suppose.
ReplyDeleteAs for the little socios/vaginas who try to silence you here. Just ignore and carry on, that is how it works here. A lot of non-socio smart people are in here, they don't always talk but they listen. SO, heck, don't hold back. UKan may attack, ignore him too, but read carefully first.
There is some vicious cycle about abuse. I know of powerful people who abuse with no intention whatsoever, without knowing and with a lot of loving, think Devil's Advocate. The abused somehow can't find a way of communicating that s/he's being abused, and starts acting out instead. Or, is sure that s/he deserves what is going on, when that just is not the case, or believes that there is no way to stop the other person. This could be true in many cases but not necessarily so in loving or parent-child relationships. Freaky shit, really.
By the way, your socio may not be a socio but just a sadist (towards himself too). I don't remember your talking about his pathological lying, I remember him sticking to truth.
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ReplyDeleteErin, I just saw these lines of yours from yesterday.
ReplyDelete"Rage,black wordless rage. I hate a few people that way.
I hate them that I could kill them over and over again with a knife. After they died, I would want them to come alive so I could do it over and over until I didn't care anymore.
I live with one of them."
Hmm, this is something I need to understand. You actually live with someone that you wish to kill over and over again. But, the way you're putting this sounds like a fantasy. Meaning, if I ever felt that way about someone I would either leave him behind for good or go ahead and kill him once and for all. So, the question is why is the world away from this person not able to take you in (as in why YOU choose to say no to that world and stay with this sucker)? Are you very weak? Or, do you actually enjoy the abuse despite the fact that you say you hate it?
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ReplyDeleteSpit
ReplyDeleteGreat Tidings Dollies! Galliano, between engagements, has agreed to reprise his debut for the 9 inch and plastic set. Prepare to be draped in Muslin.
M.E. Welcome back, I do hope you're getting affiliate revenue for these recommendations.
Soulful, do your vacations always coincide with M.E.'s? Do you also have a book deal? Glad to see you didn't lose Buddah in Respite. How funny to think of Note tethered to Mummy's Apron strings, I can almost feel him there now.
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ReplyDeleteErin, there is such a thing as imaginary guilt, are you saying you got it? WHat's all the bad you're referring to? Are you saying that you have negative thoughts of these people but they don't actually deserve it, that you must be the one who is bad for having these thoughts? Hmmm... So? I mean what if that is indeed the case. Say you accepted that. WHat would be the next problem/thought in your mind? Is that where you are afraid of going? It may not be that bad. It may actually free you to venture on your own. The chances are current state is self-weakening.
ReplyDeleteActually, this site could do wonders for you. Read how guilt-free these vaginas are. You'll never be totally guilt-free but at least you'll have less of it, all you'll learn to ease up on yourself. Read this site for a month or so, steadily. I am not sure when you arrived here, I have been on vacation myself. But I know a steady one month really shows me how ridiculous these people are and n turn how ridiculous my own problems are. Then I chill. I come back once in a while to see if anything has changed. It is really nice to see the regular characters, it's like one big crazy family who is comfortable shitting at each other. Bottomline: life is so much better if we don't take it too seriously. In practice this means don't let taking yourself seriously last too long. To avoid it completely is impossible.
ERin,
ReplyDeleteI wrote the last note before reading your last. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a child is the worst, especially if the mother tends to take responsibility over the loss
Evey mother is responsible in a way for the death of their children by definition since they are the reason of birth. Too simplistic, but hey, why would anyone give birth to a creature who will one day suffer and die without a doubt? I am just saying this silly thought because when you think about it there is a huge truth in there, philosophically. But, do you see mothers agonizing about the fact that they gave birth? Not really. Anyway, start with that thought and keep going to the loss of the child that is an inevitable event and try to free yourself of the imaginary guilt.
I'll read what you write again and think more.
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ReplyDeleteErin, I know a lady who also is regarded as one of the nicest people, but inside she feels very dark.
ReplyDeleteShe is full of fears, and says if it weren't for those fears she would have acted on all the bad and hurt a lot of people.
She has early childhood stories of jumping on her same age female friends (in a playful fashion, yet nevertheless sexual, sitting on them giggling while slightly jumping up and down and having her naked body touch the other little girl's naked body). I have no idea where all the dark is coming from in her, but her thoughts are all well masked except to her youngest daughter. She two share similar views and that could be why. She is also in a domestically abusive situation, very weak, her husband short-tempered, demanding for all his macho needs but very much providing and loving otherwise.
She is also very giving. But, I felt she does that to control other people, it is as if it means a whole lot to her to hear other people say all these nice things about her. When we have a chat she will occasionally share how some people (these are not people who are important in her life, really) told her how nice she is. It sort of comes out of the blue and strange to me. I am typically the type compliments don't mean much, I have a very strong view of who I am and what I think of myself is the most important, so others' views no matter how high they might be would not change my self-view.
ReplyDeleteWhat I tell her is that she needs to protect herself from her own inner voice. You know we have both a negative and a positive inner voice. Gotta shut the negative up but also gotta shut the positive up too, I mean no need to be nice to everyone all the time. Too burdensome.
Osmosis is key. A controlled leak.
ReplyDeleteBlack into white, white into black, until inside out looks the same as outside in.
Grey soup is tastier than it looks.
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ReplyDeleteExcessive negative self judgment is the poison. Whether one is anywhere on the spectum. Medusa is right, grey is a the path to empowerment or integration. It's a potent soup.
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ReplyDeleteErin, bad and perfect is an illusion. You have a child's black and white point of view of yourself and perhaps the world. It's not the only lens. Try reading today's fiction reading selections, its more blended of a perspective of how victim and perpetrator are at play. Perhaps you inherited your own inner tiger from your mother. The truth is fickle. I am curious about your socio. What field does he work in? He seems to have developed a ethic code of sorts. Did he have a balanced childhood?
ReplyDeleteErin, NOT EVERY THOUGHT IN YOUR MIND IS YOUR'S !!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhen the thoughts come to you say "thats not from me, it's not mine.
It's the TRUTH. You have a spirit, everyone has one thats them but their are others. These other ones have found a warm home in you, reject them as foolishness.
Their there to destroy you are you going to let these little bugger's keep having their fun or are you going to stop them and treat them like the fools they are?
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ReplyDeleteErin, what happened with your socio and you?
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ReplyDeleteErin you are broken.
ReplyDeleteOh Sweetheart I'm sorry, he pulled a textbook Socio manipulation for his own amusement.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he couldn't control his impulse at the time or maybe he planned it.
But when you stood up to him it showed how little control over you he had in front of those he wanted to impress.
He cannot feel what he did to you only intellectually he knows. He can't feel bad about it but he can feel loss, maybe of someone he had plans for or maybe he felt loss of desired effect that he thought others should see.
It sounds calculated to me it it would only have gotton worse.
You know how they say when a person stops smoking or using drugs and goes back they pick-up where they left off or even more? A lot od addicts over dose when they go back and die. They're the same they pick up where they left off.
You were proclaimed property. Rejected him and then made demands. Sounds like your were a jealous vixen trying to play the victim. You drank it up like cognac. And you still are.
ReplyDeleteSoulful is right when she said you were claimed property, in his mind thats what you amounted to.
ReplyDeleteCan he think differently, I don't think so. He doesn't have that in his brain. He showed you exactly what his nature is. And everyone else. That doesn't mean anything he said about you is true. He called you what you fear.
And your not broken, he is. Thats why it's called a personallity disorder. Socio's use to be called Moral Imbecile's. That should open your eyes a bit.
"It's the TRUTH. You have a spirit, everyone has one thats them but their are others. These other ones have found a warm home in you, reject them as foolishness."
ReplyDeleteWhat?
Pretty much everything else said today has been shit as well. And why do you people automatically believe everything that everyone else says? Chances are that erins socio boyfriend doesn't exist. She's clearly taking the piss with half the shit she says. Or she's just fucked up.
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ReplyDeleteHe drew you in, made you what he wanted you to be for him and his purposes. Not who you are but who you are when he pulls your strings. Like one of his toys.
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ReplyDeleteYou haven't made up a story. We've heard this one hundreds of time's already. "Screwed over by a sociopath in a relationship now I'm gonna complain about it". I don't care if it's true or not because it's still fucking boring. Finish it up then fuck off please.
ReplyDeleteThink of your socio like a kid with a toy. The toy belongs to the kid, and is fun to play with. However the toy is just a material object so if it gets boring or stops working the way the kid wants it to, the kid will discard the now useless toy. if the child suddenly relizes that the useless toy can be used in a differnt way or "fixed" he will try to play with it again... your just an object to him... maybe a valuable object but replaceable just the same.
ReplyDeleteThe estrogen on this forum tonight is giving me a headache, and I'm into women. Yeesh.
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ReplyDeleteHey guys I'm Erin.
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ReplyDeleteRip! Miss you!
ReplyDeleteOH NO Im BROkE THE THREAD
ReplyDeleteSince the whole beeper thing has been done to death over the last few months, we will beat this to death too.
ReplyDeleteIf you want all the attention Haven go to your own blog.
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ReplyDeleteOH NO I NO KNOW WHT THR BEEPERs Is
ReplyDeleteBeepers are semi psychotic if you ask me.
ReplyDeleteHaven, ask Misanthrope for a neck rub to balance your hormone headache.
ReplyDeleteErin, and what was so bad about adding another Barbie doll into the theatre? Sounds like he was into ethnic and multi partner diversity.
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ReplyDeleteOh nO RIP And SpIdEr Man Weere tHE SAMe PeoPLes
ReplyDeleteIw as adam billions too
I think the vodka will take away the headache, but thanks Soulful, heehee, though I doubt Mis would be interested in offering such services =) Just stopped by to see if there was anything interesting being discussed.
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ReplyDelete9/10 times a child love for there toy is fleeting. If a child is betrayed by its toy (the toy breaking or not doing what they want it to etc.) the toy is discarded until it has a use again (if it has a use again). You betrayed him. (although you may not feel that way)
ReplyDeleteYou should read the post "can a sociopath love?" I think it may answer your question.
Beepers are Borderline Personality Disorder. Abandonment issues. Do anything for attention and want it to center around them at all times. To be fair they can't control it.
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ReplyDeleteWell...if you agreed/participated Erin it wouldn't be cheating
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ReplyDeleteA beeper is a borderline personality disordered female.
ReplyDeleteAnd the name for the vodka cocktail Haven just mixed. Pomegranate juice and fresh lime with Grey Goose.
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ReplyDeleteNoONe KNoW wHat beEpers RRRrR
ReplyDeletehe's just a silly person and the only one who knows what he means. He probly has a billion personalities or just likes that number.
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ReplyDeleteAdam Billions was some guy that posted on here a while ago and someone thought I was him so I pretended to be him only people that remember him get the joke.
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ReplyDeleteOwner of Killer Bear Chokes to Death on Sex Toy
ReplyDelete@Erin
ReplyDeleteI wouldnt go as far as to call it "reaching out"...
Anyone remember how good Rip was at sports
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ReplyDeleteI've been making beeper Popsicles, too much vodka and they don't freeze properly. The synchronicity of that just blows me away.
ReplyDeleteIf you want a hearth and home lover move on. If you want to be broken more to pieces keep going. Either way learn as much as you can so you may at least be of some service to others and your own development. You are obviously not submissive. Love is complex, fleeting, dangerous and well necessary.
ReplyDeleteI am everything all at once.
ReplyDeleteJust lacking depth. Your masks are superficial.
ReplyDeleteIt's true though
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ReplyDeleteYour dumb Erin
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ReplyDeleteSo many toys . . . so little time.
ReplyDeleteOH NO tHAt WAs rIP tOO
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ReplyDeleteI can see clearly now
ReplyDeleteI can see all obstacles in my way
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ReplyDeleteMy strings control everyone
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ReplyDeleteWhat does that mean ^
ReplyDeletePuppet master
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ReplyDeleteHaha your pregnant gretyl laugh at that
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ReplyDeleteYou too Erin
ReplyDeleteJust got too pull the strings (hehe tampons)
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ReplyDeleteOh no he's a perv too
ReplyDeleteOh, no... Is Adam gone for good? I'll miss him. (Wait, do I hear Kesu ask why already?)
ReplyDelete"Rip" up her panties
ReplyDeleteErin is not French....
ReplyDeleteDespite Strauss-Kahn's admitted infidelity, his wife, Anne Sinclair, has devotedly supported him. While he was in Rikers Island prison, she issued a statement contending he was innocent. She’s treated him more like a princely victim than a cheater. When he needed an apartment to which he would be confined on house arrest, she chose one of Manhattan’s priciest rentals, a lavish Tribeca townhouse. When he appears in court, she stands by his side, softening his image for the world’s cameras.
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ReplyDeleteIt's not good to use rips name in vain
ReplyDeleteAnd I have no idea where Adam is
ReplyDeleteWatching the socio in the Colateral impress the cab driver's mother... Hilarious.
ReplyDeleteOH NO, It turns out Rip was puppet master deep guy croodboy crops Erin and a couple of anons ALL ALONG
ReplyDeleteAnd Adam
ReplyDeletewhy does sociapaths stare
ReplyDeleteCuz they Rip
ReplyDeleteNever cut my stings, Sir.
ReplyDeleteIt's cute that you're so interested in my history...
ReplyDeleteIf you've forgotten, there was a time you told me to stick around???
I went onto to other more exciting things, and came back for a friend's sake...
But, since it's clear you've been looking through my panty drawer...do you really want this website to just you and your little socio-wannabes? And, whatever else creations going on? Could you be so threatened?
If so, just say it, Mr. Sociopath... and, I will leave you to your puppet show.
Otherwise, you've looked through my panty drawer, bad boy. And, it's fair game to stay ;D
WHO DID THAT. IMMA MURDER YOUMSOMEDAY JUST YIU WAIT NO ONE MESS WITH RIP
ReplyDeleteWaiting for an answer...
ReplyDeleteRIP WOULD NEVER SAY ANYTHING THAT STUPID YOU PIECE OF SHIT. YOURE NOTHING. YOULL BE SITTING IN YOUR HOUSE ONE DAY AND THEN YOU'RE WILL START DROPPING AND YOU'LL THINK "FUCK I NEVER SHOULD HAVE MESSED WITH RIP" AND THEN IT'S LIGHTS OUT. DONT THINK I CANT FIGURE OUT WHERE YOU LIVE COMPUTERS HAVE IP ADRESSES AND THEY AREN'T THAT HARD TO TRACE. DONT EVEN FUCKING TALK JUST DELETE YOUR COMMENT AND GO ON LIVING THE SHIT YOU CALL A LIFE.
ReplyDeleteOh dear. And to think this blog used to be vaguely interesting...
ReplyDeleteI can't delete the comment, RIP. You should know that.
ReplyDeleteVaguely interesting is an understatement. Say something not boring.
ReplyDeleteYOU CAN DELETE IT IF YOU HOW YOUR FUCKING COMPUTER WORKS.
ReplyDeleteCan sociopaths have long term stable marriages?
ReplyDeleteRip takes great pride in his name
ReplyDeleteRip demands our respect.
ReplyDeleteGosh, was anyone suprised that your little friends went down associating with retards like you?
ReplyDeleteHmmm?
ReplyDeleteHey BT your stupid
ReplyDeleteLord, grant that I might not so much seek to be retarded as to be retarded.
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ReplyDeleteWrite a book, Erin.
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