Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Narcissist?

A reader writes:
I think I may possibly be a narcissist. I found your website, and it opened my eyes and has been more informative than you can imagine.
Even from when I was a child, I have had strong impulses to hurt people and animals. Its just random, there is no reason for it really, but I still find myself wanting to beat someones head in with a bat. And it scares me sometimes, because I'm pretty sure that isn't normal.
I would have strange outbursts of rage, and always play my parents against each other when trying to get the things I wanted. They took me to a therapist suspecting that I had anger issues, but all the therapist concluded was that I was extremely manipulative. When I found out what it meant, I felt empowered, or smug, as if I had something that I could easily use against my parents or other people to get what I wanted. Before that though, I had no idea I was being manipulative, it was just a natural thing, you know? Just part of who I was. It was just my natural way of being. After the therapist though, I had a name for it.
And I realize that I am still, I get a satisfaction out of playing with people's emotions and using them in whatever way suits me, even if it hurts them in the process. I just love it, and to me it is fun. I know its not right, but I need to do it.
I am a compulsive liar, I lie for no reason. I cant seem to stop, even if the lie has no effect on anything. I hate the world around me and am constantly disgusted with people, and consider myself apart from them. Better, and different in the fact that I am deeper than them and have a superior sense of understanding things, and that they will never understand anything I tell them.
However I have no criminal record whatsoever, and have no authority problems. Not that i dont want to, sometimes I want to compulsively kill people or hurt someone, but I realize that if I did that I would just be put in jail and my life as I know it would come to an end. I understand that I have to follow the rules just like everyone else, and so I do.
I believe I do have some empathy, though it seems to come and go. And my empathy is very limited. The only people I consider my equals are those I like and find 'worthy'.
I have read through a lot of the information on your site, on blogs, etc. But I just dont know what to think or consider myself. When I read stories, or personal experiences from sociopaths or narcissists I feel like its me speaking. It just fits. I'm scared to tell anyone, in that they may think I am making this up, and honestly I don't want a label anyways. All I want is to know who I am, and to have a reason or a name, or even people to talk to who understand me. I cannot tell you how good it feels to get this out, and to speak to someone who might for once listen, and I would be so grateful if you could even shed a sliver of light on my situation.

640 comments:

  1. There is only one word that comes to my mind lately, when i think about myself, what i am, i feel lost, but lost is not the word, the word is illusion, everything is a mere illusion, nothing is what it seems to be, the harder i think the harder it is for me to consider all possibilities, and that is something i believe i must do, why do i use the the I so much?
    There must be a reason, for there is a reason for everything.
    Walking the street, always thinking, talking to myself, no matter how long i think about it, i am just an abstraction, no true identity, the person i am, depends on the person i am talking to.
    It is impossible to gain any deeper knowledge of something that abstract, i need an outside source such as psychopaths, and that is why i come here.
    I can relate, and that gives me peace, i can not understand myself, my perspective does not allow me to, im glad there are others like me, that way i can try to understand them, and ultimately understand myself.
    I think paranoia and denial, are two in my big list of issues, i try to ignore my paranoid thoughts, i force myself, into considering things when i feel like im in denial.
    In the end i think, what does it matter who i am now? I can be whoever i want, i can do it, and i do it well.

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  2. For those who have experience in social engineering. Have you tried using bugs, such as GSM listening tool? If so any recommendations on good products? with GSM 900/1800MHZ. Sim card. Working time > 3 hours.

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  3. Your best bet poster is to keep doing what your doing. Don't tell anyone about yourself. Create your own depth. Don't tell anyone how emotionally shallow you are. Instead live a grand life continuing to decieve and manipulate those around you.

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  4. @Jesus
    I can relate so much to that craving and yearning to touch the ground but it forever eludes you.
    If you look too closely you could scream until you go insane.
    Is that how you feel it?

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  5. M.E.
    You provide a great service .Where else could that man send such a letter?
    This site has me thinking deeply about diagnosis.
    Some people like to squish you in a box. They will bash your head if you try to climb out or want to fit into two boxes.
    Most of what orthodox medicine and psychiatry does stinks.

    I studied acupuncture .Chinese Medicine does not diagnose like Western medicine .
    There are no broad categories in which you dump people.

    Mental and Emotional conditions are not separate from the body.

    If a person went to the Chinese doctor, the doctor would take 3 hours to know the person intimately.
    The doctor would ask about what flavors the person craved, unusual dreams, the level of anger, sadness etc etc

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  6. Very little in my life is real, nothing is true, i myself am a lie.
    All i want is a little bit of truth, someone with whom i can share my deepest thoughts and secrets, but i cant trust anyone. I can relate very much with the reader who wrote the post, i know i should follow the advice UKan gave to the poster, it is the reasonable thing to do.
    Erin i think i am insane already, besides that i dont understand what you meant.

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  7. I posted that so I would not lose it.

    Then,after all that the doctor would try to restore balance. The art of restoring balance to the body is Chinese medicine.

    All disease whether mental or physical is lack of balance.
    If the life force/basic energy/ki is not in balance the person will have all sorts of "diseases"--out of ease/out of balance.

    The needles balance the energies.Herbs and other things are used ,too.
    However,the key point is this when the energies are in balance you will be well.
    It does not matter what your problem is called BPD, cancer, heart disease ,diabetes etc
    When the energies are balanced you will be well.

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  8. This brings me to why I am writing this .
    I have been thinking about BPD,Socio,uber empath,Co-dependent

    I think the BPD is the polar opposite of the Socio.
    Yesterday ,when someone listed the BPD traits it was the mirror image of the Socio.
    The BPD has exquisite sensitivity.The Socio has little.
    The BPD takes everyone's needs in to consideration.The Socio takes no ones.
    The BPD feels emotions very,very deeply.The Socio has shallow emotions.
    I started seeing this when we talked about the uber empath and the Socio.

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  9. I had one of those and the wheels fell off.

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  10. @Jesus
    I knew when I wrote it and re-read it that it was hard to understand.
    Have you ever read "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath?
    She explains what I am trying to say.
    It is the feeling that you are a stranger to yourself.The real you is alien to you.You are afraid of the real you or so lost from it that it is a million miles away.
    As such,all life experiences seem unreal.
    Do you understand what I mean now Jesus?

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  11. So,to finish what I am saying about balance.
    I think that the answer to any problem mental or physical is to restore balance.
    We do not have to "name" them, diagnose and box them.
    However,that being said HOW do you restore balance?
    That would have to be done through modalities which specialize in this.
    It is almost impossible to find them in this society.You have to design your own.
    It can be done with things such as Kundalini yoga,fasting,meditation crying and herbs

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  12. Both have many things in common, both are suicidal, little self control, total lost of control while angry, paranoid, impulsive.
    But what you said is right and your theory makes sense.

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  13. @Jesus
    Engage here.You can be real here.It will be a start !

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  14. I agree with the reader. If I don't consistently keep my anger in check, I will blow.

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  15. @Jesus
    That was not the real Ukan.People impersonate people around here to try to mess with people.
    That was not real advice lol

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  16. You know most parents seem to have this inner instinct to blame themselves when a child defects. The child can be the most misbehaving thing on earth, and they will still cry a river and point out each others shortcomings until the end of the world. Meanwhile, the child is getting them to give into his/her every demand by getting mommy and daddy to fight. I use to do this all the time when dealing with my parents, and it worked all the time. I more or less, could get anything I desired from those weaklings.

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  17. Jesus, it's not impossible to find someone who will listen and understand. Maybe your over looking those that would have as being weak or they've pulled away out of self protection. A well placed sorry goes along way with the ones that will stay and listen.

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  18. ....cosette did ur parents ever beat u?

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  19. Erin, i have not read The Bell Jar, i will look for it, thanks that is just what i need something to entertain myself with.
    I understand now yes, but i am aware of what i am capable, i dont feel like i am a stranger to myself, i am a stranger to those around me, even the ones i've known for years ever since i can remember, no one really knows who i am.
    I did the same as Cosette, i have to admit sometimes it was fun.

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  20. You know my son would always try to manipulate me, but he never succeeded. I would easily catch him in his lies, and then I would beat the shit out of him like there was no tommorrow. The bitch did not know what was coming.

    Even with his underground business we still get together and he tries to do the same shit. I just tell him how stupid he is and he shuts the fuck up.

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  21. @Jesus
    You need confession for the soul.You need a place you can say those things you think are unacceptable.
    Do it here but I warn you that people will try to mess with you *waves to Frank*
    You just have to blow off the ones who do and find the ones who have something to say.
    There are a lot of those.Sometimes ,they hide under gruff exteriors until you can see below
    Sometimes the AH exterior IS them
    Basically what I am saying is don't let anyone run you off. Some will try

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  22. lol you guys really fell for that Jesus shit.

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  23. @Wet

    There is a software called syphone that allows you to intercept calls and texts I believe.

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  24. Argh not syphone, something else lol. I forget the name

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  25. http://www.mobilebugstore.com/

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  26. toy, it is not impossible but difficult yes, i guess i do consider most people as being weak but that's because they are, i see...

    Ok thanks Erin, i dont see why a psychopath would try to mess with you over the internet, there's no pleasure to be taken out of it since you cant look at the persons face.
    Boredom i guess.

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  27. Reader: I get this all the time over at my own blog. People writing to me how they relate and wanting my opinion on whether they have BPD. The answer is always the same: I'm not a psychologist (yet), go seek a professional opinion. These blogs are good for gaining insight but they are not diagnostic tools.

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  29. I got you bitch. I know who you are.

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  30. "This brings me to why I am writing this .
    I have been thinking about BPD,Socio,uber empath,Co-dependent

    I think the BPD is the polar opposite of the Socio.
    Yesterday ,when someone listed the BPD traits it was the mirror image of the Socio.
    The BPD has exquisite sensitivity.The Socio has little.
    The BPD takes everyone's needs in to consideration.The Socio takes no ones.
    The BPD feels emotions very,very deeply.The Socio has shallow emotions.
    I started seeing this when we talked about the uber empath and the Socio."


    Wow Erin, way to stick us all in one little box. This is, in fact, wrong.

    Someone with BPD, myself for example, can be incredibly un-empathic at times while very empathic at others. The mark of BPD is how wildly it fluxuates.

    BPD does not stay at the far right end of the emoting spectrum. It travels the entire length at various times. I am often numb and somewhat heartless. I care for no one and nothing. Other times I care a great deal, but my empathy is skewed because I care for people/things that in turn, bring me pleasure.

    Yes, we feel emotions very, very deeply, but we can also feel nothing at all.

    It’s not ok. Your understanding of BPD is woefully incomplete. Don’t try to make a little diagnostic soapbox summary for us. It’s offensive.

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  31. @Haven
    I get what you are saying. I did not mean it how you are taking it,though

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  32. Jesus, I'm one of the few on here thats still with a socio boyfreind and the way I found he was one is that he told me things one at a time over a period of a year.

    I'm sure he sees me as weak, but I'm not thats why I stay.

    Knowing he's a socio makes sence and puts it in perspective.

    I would have been gone long ago if I didn't know. It's going on 3 years.
    It's been a rollarcoaster ride for sure.
    I have to say it's not ideal and I would never marry him I need my own time but I have no plans of leaving him.

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  33. Any account without this big fuck you image isn't mine. I thought that narcissists are self decieving and therefore can't be self aware. I don't even understand what the issue is with this guy.

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  35. Jason

    Those software are good but it generally takes more than 10 mins to get them installed and if they use an Iphone you have to get jail break. Which i prefer physical bugs.

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  36. @misanthrope
    lol, that image suits you

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  37. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  38. Haha. To reiterate. Any account without this image and without profile access enabled isn't mine.

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  39. That last post *Waves Frankie* was not me.
    It is Jason messing with me.Whenever the fake Erin comes up I am gonna call you out Jason
    Since the spamming did not work,now you are gonna actually try to sound like me.
    Sweetie, study your Computer Science.
    Leave the messing of people to ME *Hi Frank *

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  40. I am going to get laid for the 5th time this week.

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  41. Oh you really are a wanker aren't you. I liked that image as well. Lol.

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  42. Why is Erin trying to give advice to someone when she doesn't understand it herself?

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  43. Fake Misanthrope takes it in the ass.

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  44. @jason
    you are even more retarded than erin.

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  45. This post describes me completely. Although I have notice I rather fuck over people I have known for years than strangers.

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  46. To Anon 5:09:

    Hah, are you kidding me? My parents would never dare lay their hands on me. I was one of those "Problem kids" that was constantly playing truant. I never gave a damn about anyone then, and I had a nasty reputation for fighting the girls at my school who disrespected me.

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  47. i agree with cosette. parents r easy to manipulate

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  48. manipulating parents isnt a big deal. We all do it.

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  49. Yeah Anon. You know, through all the lies that I told them, they still say they love me on a frequent basis. I find it beyond pitiful.

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  50. All of those tragic musician types were likely to be beepers, cobain and hendrix etc.

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  51. @Haven
    I am not trying to diss anyone who sees things differently than I.
    I am just trying to make sense of them in a way that fits for me.
    Discussion is fine but I want you to know that if I am different than you does not mean I am disrespecting you.

    I do not KNOW what is wrong with me,diagnosis wise cuz I do not trust Western medicine which includes psychiatry.

    That leaves me to try to figure out things on my own which I am trying to do.
    Please take my posts with this in mind.

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  52. when a famous beeper dies the public cries, when an infamous sociopath dies they say good riddance!

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  53. as hare said in the interview that was posted yesterday, sociopaths enjoy the finer things in life. the best cars, the biggest mansion and the finest clothes.

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  54. I want to say something about the intense highs and lows being good for creativity. I'm at my most creative when I'm low, my most productive when I'm high. Swinging back and forth rapidly makes for some pretty wild art.

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  55. @cosette

    i literally robbed my mom from her checking account and she still believes i am a good person.

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  56. "Even from when I was a child, I have had strong impulses to hurt people and animals"

    Having impulses to do it is normal, if you are actually hitting or abusing the animals then it is psychopathic, but i am sure narcissists abuse animals too.

    "And I realize that I am still, I get a satisfaction out of playing with people's emotions and using them in whatever way suits me, even if it hurts them in the process. I just love it, and to me it is fun. I know its not right, but I need to do it."

    The fact that you say "it's not right" for you to be hurting people, indicates that you have a certain amount of empathy. Sociopaths/narcissists think others are the wrong ones because they are too weak to take advantage of someone.

    "I am a compulsive liar, I lie for no reason."

    sociopaths and narcs lie to attain goals, be it perception altering or any other form of manipulation. Lying for no reason sounds like a mental illness.

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  57. i will say the same thing sam vaknin said. there is absolutely no way you can diagnose yourself, it takes a trained professional with hours of interviews. sam vaknin isn't self diagnosed.

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  58. I appreciate all of this honesty.It is really helping me figure out what is wrong with me.


    I think a lot has to do with boundaries. Do we think we are worth having them? Do we think we are worth respecting what is inside them--ourselves.
    Do we think we are worth pushing people away when they violate us?
    I am seeing all that from being on here with all of you even the ones who drive me crazy the most--name withheld

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  60. @Erin

    Well have you tried Scientology?

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  61. @Jason
    No way Baby
    I have studied most things though.I know a little about it but it is not for me


    PS Retire fake Erin K?

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  62. @Erin

    get on windows messenger baby.

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  63. @Jason
    I don't know you well enough *blush*

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  64. @Jason
    If you are someone I know in real life--give me a clue

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  65. erin. I see your light has returned. the calm in your voice is very soothing. i like it very much.

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  66. ugggggggghhhhh........here we go again.....ugh

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  67. @Anon 8:15
    You are a literal angel :)

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  68. how did you sleep last night? good dreams? bad dreams? see how you just knew it was me!

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  69. @Anon 8:21
    You feel like a "light" :)

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  70. yes perhaps you're right. and i probably don't belong in a place like this. but here we both are searching for something. what is it? i don't know.

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  71. @Anon 8:30
    Well wherever people are real ,one can find answers.
    That is why I left the church :)

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  72. Advice to anon

    whatever you do DO NOT listen to anything erin says. no one here likes her cause shes a liar

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  73. were fate can find us there we must go. what is your fate sweet erin?

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  74. KESU is GOD

    now erin, obey and suck his dick you whore!

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  75. Get your hand off me you dirty cocksucker. Don't make me tell SW about what happened with bill last night.

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  76. kesu what is up with the corny pictures?

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  77. "no one here likes her cause shes a liar"

    Hahahaha. Do you know how fucking ridiculous that sounds?

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  78. I like it. What is up with being an anon?

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  79. @Kesu
    Why do you dangle carrots of liking me in front of my face and then take them away *pout*

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  80. Probably because I'm a sociopath.

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  81. i will decide for myself what erin is. i believe she is searching for love. i can't believe she doesn't deserve to have what she reaches out for. even if she does it with lies.

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  82. Because you forced poor KESU to get his dick sucked ERINNN

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  83. @Kesu
    Yes I JUST accepted being called a skank cuz I thought it had mild affection to it.

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  84. Erin can take it in the ass while Kesu gets his dick sucked.

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  85. anon 9 51 shut the fuck up you shit. Im sure you are erin

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  86. @Mentor
    Did that AH Frank mess it up?

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  87. Erin, are you trying to show everyone here what it's like to be broken by while attempting to love a socio?

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  88. Erin,


    You will go to hell for being a skank.

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  89. @Haven
    Uhhhh Maybe

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  90. @God
    Jesus forgives skanks
    Next question?

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  91. Erin is just a confused woman(I have yet to meet one that isn't) who wants something. She doesn't even know what that something is. She can't expect acceptance from this place. If she really is even a real person and not just one of the other posters here(Hard for me to believe that anyone would put that much work into a false persona online. It would be pathetic at this point.) then I suppose she is trying to find something real inside the sociopaths here. She wants to validate the emotions that her supposedly socio bf had for her. To believe that they ment something. She believes if she can find it in one of us it must be true for him. Too bad for her neither is going to happen.

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  92. NO,

    Jesus fucks them.

    I punish them.

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  93. dumb sounding mis = fake mis

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  94. erin. i can see you have your hands full once again. i will check on you later. keep washing over this place with your light.

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  95. @Kesu
    I have been noticing that you have wisdom.That does not seem to go along with the Socio criteria such as not learning from experience, shallow emotions etc
    Why--not to ask a stupid question.
    *Down Frank*

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  96. dumb sounding erin = erin

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  97. i've noticed that the only posts erin doesn't respond to are the one's asking her why/how she spends all day online.

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  98. skank sounding erin

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  99. @Anon
    What am I doing? Charts and talking to you fine people
    All questions answered now
    Bra size--38C

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  100. why do you spend all day online, erin?

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  101. I told you I am doing charts in between talking to you all
    However,I need to prepare you.When my own website comes up in a few weeks,I might not be here as much.
    Brace yourselves K?

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  102. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mw0YzBFmxIw&feature=related

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  103. @kesu

    bravo! you're finally catching on! A little late in the game I must say... so disappointing. I already suggested last week that she was trying to prove to herself that her socio loved her, by proving she could find it here.
    But everyone was so busy trying to figure out if she were a troll, or someone's fake character! Could some of you be just as blind as the empaths?

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  104. @Anon
    I am here for a number of reasons.Yours is one of the shallower ones.

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  105. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mw0YzBFmxIw&feature=related

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  106. I have shallow emotions. I've been clinically diagnosed with emotional detachment, grandiose personality, low impulse control(Even though I personally think I have great self control), etc.

    What makes me different? I lack the rampant narcissism that so many of the others have. I may truly believe that I am the smartest person on the planet(and I soooo do) but I'm not into self-delusion. I've always faced painful things head on... Actually I run into them at blistering speeds.

    That has always been the thing that sets me part from everyone though. At least it is to me. Pain seems normal to me. It is something I define my life by. Who I am was born more from the pains of my past then of my accomplishments. I treasure them more too. It has given me insight and the ability to never feel the need to run away from anything.

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  107. 'However,I need to prepare you.When my own website comes up in a few weeks,I might not be here as much.'

    that's a fucking tragedy. i'm sure you'll be back as soon as your own site fails miserably because everyone finds you too damn obnoxious to go anywhere near you or anything has any connection to you *takes a deep breath* go get a real job you crazy god damn hippy bible bashing lunatic.

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  108. anon 9 30 ... Thank you

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  109. @Obnoxious Anon
    My friend who has set up similar sites says she thinks I will be swamped.I don't want to be actually.
    I want to do a few readings a day.That is it

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  110. @Kesu's Last Post 9:29
    THAT IS WHY I AM HERE , PEEPS
    TO GET TO THAT POINT

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  111. @kesu

    Spoken like a true sociopath.
    I've always looked forward to hearing your perspective.
    Even the ones of the past, when some of them were lies.

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  112. One key word from Kesu
    Not in to self delusion
    That is why I am here Folks

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  113. erin you delusional shit

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  114. You have to realize Erin that anyone with Narcissism is rampantly self-delusional.

    I'm also an extreme intellectualizer.

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  115. Erin I'm sorry I hurt you. But the truth is that you ARE a snotty little bitch that needs some teeth punched out of her mouth. Make more snotty remarks if you think I'm right. Peace to you. Love you.

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  116. @mystic meg

    yes, i'm sure you're friend would say. i've concluded that the only people who would willingly go anywhere near you are those who have lost touch with reality and as such buy into the same wacky beliefs as you you odball *takes a deep breath* you're even worse than a sociopath seeing as you plan to make living through exploiting the mentally ill/retarded, you nutcase.

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  117. She needs a good beating so she can feel REAL.

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  119. does anyone know who stewie is??

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  121. @Frank
    You are a confusing guy Frank, Not sure how to take what you said but will stay tuned...................

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  122. @Frank
    I NEVER attack people,ever. I hate to hurt people's feelings but you called me a whore and that was bad.

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  123. Well, I'm sorry for that. Won't happen again. Friends?

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  124. Erin you are a whore. A fake whore, but a whore none the less. Stop crying about it and live with your lot in life.

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  125. @Frank
    I truly am touched and would really like to be your friend!

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  126. @Kesu
    WHY am I a whore?

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  127. coz u suck dick for money?

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  128. You are the worst kind of whore. An attention whore.

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  129. I have a question to whom ever:

    Do any of you believe in Lykken's theory in the four different types of socios?

    Common Sociopaths

    These individuals are created by poor parenting and develop a lack of remorse, shame and consistently break the rules of society.

    Alienated Sociopaths

    These individuals, again created through poor socialization, do not develop the capacity to love or form attachments with others. This creates a person that lacks empathy and can be quite callous with victims. Within the Alienated Type are four further subtypes.

    Disaffiliated Type

    Individuals of this subtype develop antisocial traits and an inability to relate emotionally to others, which affects relationships on a global level.



    Disempathetic Type

    Although these individuals are capable of demonstrating affection and attachments to relatives, friends, or spouses, they are prone to relate to others as objects. This serves a protective function due to childhood experiences of trauma, which can be viewed as being dissociative in nature and a form of desensitization.



    Hostile Type

    A hostile sociopath is an angry, resentful, and aggressive person that purposefully rejects the social norms and mores of society and displays antisocial and traditional psychopathic traits as a result of their hostile beliefs.



    Cheated Type

    Much like the hostile type, these individuals are hostile, antisocial and reject the norms and mores of society, but for different reasons. These individuals feel rejected by society due to real or perceived inadequacies, most likely learned through experiences with an abusive parent, which in later life create specific beliefs that rules do not apply to them because they have been wronged by others.



    Aggressive Sociopaths

    These are dangerous individuals that enjoy hurting others and can often be described as sadistic. Dominance and control are at the heart of their psychological needs, which are fulfilled by developing and maintaining traditional psychopathic traits as a means to obtain, degrade, hurt and sometimes kill victims.



    Dyssocial Sociopaths

    This type was probably created by Lykken as an afterthought to explain all other individuals that did not fit within the previously described types. According to Lykken, these individuals would not normally be a sociopath or psychopath, but found themselves involved with, relating to, and loyal to other sociopathic or psychopathic individuals. This loyalty influenced their own development or belief systems and they became sociopathic due to assimilation of beliefs.

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  130. Thank you, I feel the same way. I'm glad we could put all that behind us and start new. I think Kesu is jealous of our reconciliation. Don't mind him, he is just trying to get your attention. Probably he is feeling lonely haha.

    Well, I guess I'll see you around. Bye Erin. Good luck ;)

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  131. @Kesu
    Well if people stop hassling me and now that Frank and I are friends, I can sit back and listen more :)

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  132. @Eden

    I don't think you can pin a sociopath into one of those subtypes/categories, as a sociopath could be any of those at any given time.

    In other words, you can't call one sociopath secretive and another remorseless, because all sociopaths are both of those. You feels me?

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  133. @Frank
    Awww K See you around :)

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  134. @Eden

    See this is the exact reason why I don't think sociopathy is a stand alone disorder. I think it always comes paired with something. Such as other mental and personality disorders. There is too much swing in the spectrum. Too many ways for it to be expressed. Yet all sociopaths have common thought patterns and traits.

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  135. @Kesu

    I believe in possibilities. Endless possibilities. I don't want to be defined, or bound to any kind of limit. My mind is my homeland. I want be free in my homeland.

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  136. @Kesu
    OK --right there in that post you defied 2 common Socio traits. You can learn from your past and you do not have shallow emotions.

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  137. Sociopaths manipulate without consciously knowing most of the time, it's as if the sociopath is on autopilot.

    Do borderlines consciously make themselves emotionally unstable? Of course not it's part of they're personality. This is the same with narcissists, does a narc consciously try to be grandiose? No he is naturally that way and always has been.

    Most sociopaths find out they are extremely manipulative, when a person actually calls them a cold blooded manipulative little shit.

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  138. I don't think I'm saying you have to be bound.

    I just wonder if I got medicated for my bi-polar and then went and got the intensive therapy for my R.A.D would my sociopathic tendencies lessen? Would they leave? And if I did lose them what would I be then? Or would I still be the same?

    Maybe I should fine out.

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  139. Kesu, psychopathy is partly an attachment disorder.

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  140. @Jason
    If you are there I have to ask you something.Do you know me in real life? You sounded just like someone I know.
    Please give me a clue so I can tell if I do

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  141. @Kesu
    I think everyone can heal from anything--totally but it takes time and intense desire to be REAL.
    I think you can't do it w/out God either.
    These 3 things can make a PD normal I think.
    Normal has fluctuations ,too.

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  142. I intellectualize. I never even feel the emotions. I am literally incapable. The intellectualizing I do also allows me to be introspective.

    As the psychologist said to me in the Asylum "You skip past rationalization, Kesu. You detach, analyze, then use those conclusions to justify your actions not only to yourself but those around you."
    My answer "If what I think is correct though, am I not justified?"
    Her rebutle "See what I mean."

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  143. @Kesu
    Need to think on what you said

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  144. why can't you create you're own reality?

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  145. kesu = robot faggot psychopath wannabe

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  146. no kesu = pure fa-git

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  147. @Kesu

    When I was hospitalized at 16, they diagnosed me as a sociopath.
    I thought they were ridiculous! How could they possibly know what I was, and I laughed because I had been playing them. Lying to them, so I could get out of the cage they had me in. So how could they know what I was?

    My doctor could see through me to a degree. He was the first to point out to my father that when I told my "sad" story, I seemed detached. Not numb. But completely unaffected.
    Robotic even.

    Fuck him though! After I had my first child, I knew he was wrong! I love my daughters. I may not feel the attachment other mothers do, and I may only know love because of them... But I refuse to believe!

    Endless possibilities... That's what I want!

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  148. "When I was hospitalized at 16, they diagnosed me as a sociopath."

    that's not even possible, is it? you can't be diagnosed with a pd until age 18 at least.

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  149. There is no way of knowing without doing.

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  150. Totally -- endless possibilities

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  151. why does sociapaths so annoying?

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  152. @Anon

    Exactly. This was an inferior University Hospital, in NM.
    It was crawling with fuck ups. You should have seen some of the people who worked there. Lots of sadists parading around like they were there to help us! They got off on treating us like caged animals. The rules they had there would have made anyone crazy, even if they were sane when they arrived!

    Psychology be damned.

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  153. why does sociapaths so stoopit?

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  154. @Anon 11:01
    THIS is my favorite Anon of all (not counting angel)
    This Anon is freakin brilliant with his simple way of looking at any situation

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  155. i groom vulnerable 16 year old beepers, so im a socio.

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  156. I insult random anonymous people on the internet, so I'm a socio.

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  157. i think about hurting other people but never go through with it cos i'm afraid of the consequences and i know it's not normal or acceptable behaviour, so i'm a socio.

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  158. The first post was me. The rest were jason. Including the erin post. I guess it isn't hard to figure out any of your characters jason they don't last more than 5 seconds before being exposed.

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  159. @Ukan
    Jason is exposed----- butt nekkid

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  160. oh, my, just came on and saw the percentage of Erin on today's blog. Not to mention what percentage of anon's must also be her. No way I'm reading the blog anymore, it never changes, got too old.

    And, to think that I encouraged her at the beginning, and that Kesu feels it's a better place now.

    Erin, you talk TOO MUCH. That is one data that should be able to talk to you. Just look at how much of the space you demand and how much hatred and bad spirit you arouse. Give people around you some space. 'I'm trying to understand' story is not fitting anymore, you are actually trying to make us understand something, and I am not sure what because you are not sure what either. What do you want us to understand? That you are a sweet angel? Well, we won't be able to understand that, because we have already formed opinions against that. You dropped your mask here long ago. You once said you want to drop your mask among others, well, don't. Stay enclosed.

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  161. everyone knows it's jason impersonating people.

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  162. i think about hurting other people but never go through with it cos i'm afraid of the consequences and i know it's not normal or acceptable behaviour, so i'm a socio.]


    LOL!!!!!!!

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  163. u mirin brah?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScpYvvXg62k

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  164. jason is the biggest fa-git round these parts.

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  165. Nobody gives a shit when you leave here. There's no need for announcing it. You will be back anyway its inevitable

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  166. Eden how would you be diagnosed as a sociopath at 16 when americans refuse to diagnose adolescents?

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  167. i think jason already copied misanthropes image, ukan. it'll probably happen to you too...

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  168. FYI
    I was ONLY an Anon twice when I said Frank wears a purse and Frank goes to the sushi bar wearing leather.
    Frank and I are buds now so ALL Frank jokes have been retired *blows kiss to Frank*

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  169. @Ukan

    I wasn't the only one they did this to. There was a 14yr old guy they diagnosed as one.

    It was in 1992, and every single adolescent in there was diagnosed with something. It's the only way they could court commit you, and that's what they were going for with me. To get me court committed so my parents would no longer have rights to take me out.

    Their goal was to keep me there till 18, because they said it would be a slow process in helping me develop skills to be able to live on "the outs".

    It was a fucked up place. But it was right here in America.

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  170. do you guys think the fbi looks at this site to monitor possible serial murderers?

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  171. 'do you guys think the fbi looks at this site to monitor possible serial murderers?'

    lmao

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  172. I mean look all around you! Everyone has a fucking disorder these days!!! Everybody has digestive problems, or heart problems, or sexual dysfunction, or addiction!
    Doctors are drug dealers, simple. The government controls the population like the rats they test their supposed theories on.
    They even control food production!
    They are turning us into mutants, and it's making them rich.

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  173. @UKan

    How is your day so far Misanthrope?

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  174. '@UKan

    How is your day so far Misanthrope?'

    i think you're supposed to ask questions that are relevant to the person you're addressing. crazy, huh?

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  175. "'@UKan

    How is your day so far Misanthrope?'

    i think you're supposed to ask questions that are relevant to the person you're addressing. crazy, huh?"

    lmao

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  176. I think Jason was trying to make UKan jealous by that comment.

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  177. OMG Jason, u're so gay.

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  178. @Eden... Cheers.


    Psychiatrists are nothing but drug dealers. I have one but I don't believe in what he pushes so we'll see if I don't buck the system and go off meds completely.

    Everyone has some kind of disorder. Yes. This country is obsessess with labeling things. I'm going to start calling being a person Human Affective Disorder.

    Yeesh.

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  179. America teh pitifull.

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  180. narc>aspie>NT>socio

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  181. Lets think about it this way, the label sociopath does not exist nor does any other.
    Now describe your personality, GO!

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  182. "Now describe your personality, GO!"

    In constant flux. Unstable.

    Your turn.

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  183. @Haven

    I've been off meds for over a year now. I do juice cleanses to rid my body of the poison they put in all the food.
    I still have issues with detachment, I don't mind that. But I am functional and much more productive, even more efficient at what I do.

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  184. @Eden... funny you should mention juice cleanses. I just started one today. For the same reasons.

    All I know is since I've been on medication I've had less energy and been less functional if not mildly more stable. I don't find the trade off to be an acceptable one. I think you have the right idea.

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  185. @Haven

    Good for you. Take back your body. A diagnoses can for some people, be their doom if they believe it defines them.
    It cages the mind. It is human nature to need an answer to everything, but one that can be proven beyond any doubt.
    Once you are convinced... you're owned.

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  186. Eden you sound so very conspiracy theorist-y. You get paranoid delusions?

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  187. What i intended with this post July 26, 2011 12:24 PM
    Is to explain that nothing defines the personality of a sociopath except being manipulative and being able to shape himself into whatever personality the socio thinks fits best at a given situation.
    Those of you who are trying to say that sociopaths are angry not in control of themselves have problems with authority are simply closed minded why? Is the socio immune to nurture? No.
    Somethings you are born with, but most things you have to learn i believe most paths learn things by themselves it is a gift who gave the idea that a psycho can not learn from experience? That makes no sense. Would anybody care to explain it to me? Is it if a psychopath throws an apple into the air and watchs it fall he will do the same until it doest?

    Answering Haven: Unexistant.

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  188. I knew what you were going for Anon and I agree.

    Turning it to an exercise is fun though ;)

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  189. I did a 30 day juice fast if anyone wants info.
    Kundalini yoga and raw food give good energy



    @Eden I have a sun sign guess? You feel it pretty strongly to me so we shall see

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