Misses has no emotional finesse, hardly any compassion and as such displays the same bullish ignorance that Ukan does about mental issues (isn't she meant to be studying psychology or something?). They are either the same person or I am just pretty unimpressed after all that smoke Ukan blew up her jacksie. Plus her spelling is atrocious, I don't know why they're so hung up on how well she spells. Lol.
Whales don't mind you near them so close? Wow. I want to cuddle with one right now. I have to go to sleep now with my bottie and blankie. Night night .
It's another one of Ukans 5 year old games. Another immature attention stunt. Look at me! Look at me! My S was a little kid too. The beauty of it all is I am 100 times stronger than I was, smarter and have gotten to a point where I know why this person did this. He tried to love me...loved me in his own way I guess, still "loves" me...I realized he is just left out in the cold, trying to reach in. Had to hide his true identity because he is so pathetic nobody would want to even speak to him if they knew. It would be exhausting to have to act 24/7. Life would suck...not being able to be "yourself" because the reality is you are such a piece of crap. No wonder why he had to take naps.
We had some great times...I learned a ton and am SO glad we split up! He was old....ugly, a friggin complete slob...had nothing going for him except me, life became real boring and all we did was work...I hated it there but stayed because of "love" so I am relieved! He lost me. Not to mention he's been paying my rent for the past 9 months and little does he know I tipped off the police about his illegal medical marijuana operation since he is cutting me off financially and lying telling me he's broke...meanwhile I just got promoted at one job (where I actually walked out of) then they called me to please come back WHY? Because I am a great, very likeable REAL person. I also just got 2 other jobs which I work from home doing. Life is good. To the sociopath: Always know this - you will eventually be found out...shit will start happening and you won't know why...hmmmmm. Us normal people can be devious as well..only to people who deserve it. This man's life is about to come crashing down on him and he will be in jail - just where he belongs.
If Missus is real, and not UKan, I think she has admirable traits. My marriage failed. She was right that I was bitter. If she can make a marriage work, with a sociopath, I want to learn how she does it. I will not share specific details on here because I see what you do to people. I will share general things, only. My marriage failed. I will share that.
Just saw the following and will respond a bit late in the game.
I don't at all think I am superior to anyone here. I only state what appears to be pathetic to me. Just because you are pathetic does not make me superior. I have my own flaws, they just have not involved pregnancy, or damaging children, or betting on some child of God who also happens to be God.
The way I use this place is to understand different types of flaws better. At this point it's the beepers. They are the worst when they are also mothers. Notme has been saying she is a beeper but she had a way of laughing at herself that makes her a high-functioning beeper. All the others seem stuck at that attention-whore identity that our psychos have introduced to me, and I am thankful. I have become very quick at diagnosing these in real life, and have saved myself quite a bit of time and money by withdrawing all attention from the whining beepers in my life. So, salud,,,,
Anonymous said... sceli why do you think you're so superior to everyone here? is that what you use this place for? to feel like you're without flaw when comparing yourself to the others who come to this place? if that's what you believe than i think you're worse than they are. at least they know how fucked up they are. you think you're above everyone but you harbor so much contempt and hate. October 22, 2011 9:25 AM
to make it complete. I don't have hate for beepers, at all. I just am not interested in them, and I am ok with telling them what I think of them on SW. In real life, I do't tell them what I think of them, I just withdraw attention, and it's quite amusing to what extent they'll go to regain that attention. Their need is pathetic when it comes to just some acquaintance (as in me), I can only imagine how hard these beepers are working to gain and keep some guy's/gal's attention (just look at the sexual energy that comes out here among the bi's), let alone a socio lover who by definition would play into their insecurities. Indeed a match made in heaven between a beeper and a socio.
As for Eden... I have felt very deep sadness when I read the lines where her mom left with another sister, and her dad chose to take another sister in bed, and asked her to lick her blood. I mean, it is really hard to believe, and I may be naive in believing this, but I did believe her and hence felt deeply sad. This sort of abuse is just unimaginable to me, and I count my blessings every day that I don't have a child and have no way of damaging a child. Eden believes she is a great mom but she exposed her daughter's info on this site and there is no excuse for that.
Any marraige can "work", just depends on what you consider functional. If you're ok with an abusive, emotionally void lifestyle, then your definition of functional is going to be different than someone that wants something more satisfying.
Also, they haven't been married that long. Everything's better in the beginning.
If missus was real I would be unimpressed, as she doesn't seem particularly smart and she is dull. However, you all know my feelings on this, I think youd have to be a little daft to give the credence.
Medusa, I am not here, a lot. I travel, quite a bit. I see someone was impersonating me, last night. I am a flight attendant on the International Route.
Heh... jealous of Sceli, Ami? Yeah, just like I was jealous of you? What is there for me to be jealous of? She never shares anything about herself. She's all opinion, and no substance, in my eyes.
As far a exposing my daughter goes: Funny how my Facebook was known for quite some time here, and yet not one single sociopath, tried to post a link to it, or to my daughters. You're powers of insight and perception, are faulty, Sceli. The link to my daughter's Facebook was put up by either Ami, or Luke (more than likely Ami), back when he was being exposed, and Ami was so desperate to defend him after I called him a narcissistic father, who was pushing his kid too hard.
She/He then posted the link to my daughter's Facebook, and insulted my daughter, along with myself. I never attacked Luke's child... I only attacked what he said he expected of his child, and because Ami was so damn infatuated with him; she just couldn't stand it, or help herself. The sociopaths, for the most part... have actually been the most respectful of all the posters here, towards me since I got here. Even when TNP went after me for acting like such a whore; he still didn't put up a link to my daughter's Facebook... and he had taken a look at my Facebook for sure.
No. Indeed the only people who have tried to expose my child since I've arrived, or have been extremely combative and jugmental since I got here, are the women who claim to be empathic , and Christian no less! Heh... and the one who despises me the most out of that intire group, lost a child to suicide! Yeah... I think I'm aware of who the real wolves are when it comes to children, and this site... and it aint the resident sociopaths. And so far; the only people who are of the opinion that I'm a bad mother; are women like you Sceli, who can't even trust yourself to have them, for fear you'll damage them... and the only bitch in this place who's mangaged to get under M.E.'s skin... who oh yeah (can't mention it enough), had a son who killed himself!
The fact that I get under you bitches skin so well, gives me such pleasure. That's why I imitate your own personalities, and reflect them back to you... to piss you off with!!! But I also take pleasure in your pity of me Sceli... and the voice in the back of your head, asking you whether or not you should actually believe my story. It means you still haven't figured me out yet... and you probably never will.
I want to put my 2 cents in as to why there are/were? gals here - me included - who have dated narc after narc and why it doesn't work if you're really strong but also fucked in the head with mental illness.
They can't handle your weakness. They want a strong Mommy. We don't want a child. We want a man who is not afraid of fragility.
Because they want constant recognition, they force you to ignore putting yourself first. This can be a load off the mind of a person who doesn't want to focus on her illness/weakness. It's a way to get busy with someone else's needs so you can ignore yours.
If I wanted this ^ I 'd a pushed out a baby.
They keep you from relating to yourself as a mature woman with adult sexual needs. SO if you have an attachment disorder how nice and convenient is that for you that you won't attach to them?
A narcissist will only make you feeling like a queen if he is feeling like king shit.
A normal person doesn't always expect to be treated and feel like king shit.
Insofar as you are an extention of him, you need to keep him feeling like king shit in order to continue feeling like a queen? Too much work, narcs. Sorry.
Eden, fuck yeah. You've opened up about yourself. You've shared your weakness and I think that's a strength. All sceli does is talk about her superiority for not sharing what you've admit to. I have no particular respect for that. Anyone can come on here and claim anything they want to. It doesn't mean they are better, stronger people. Just more deluded into their strength. It's a foundation of sand.
sociopaths only see that bad in other people. they feel that if they are good to others, the person will view them as weak, or take advantage of them. they act callously, fearing this engulfment of being seen as weak or gentle.
Well, obviously he enjoys my company. But come on now. Because someone comes on here claiming her sociopath genuinely loves her, you instantly believe that. I appeal to research, and that's why I refuse to believe my socio loves me and "missus's" socio loves her, our knowledge on sociopaths says otherwise. If you believe a sociopath can really love, perhaps he isn't actually sociopathic. I actually do think mine loves me. Could be that I was wrong about the sociopathy. But you guys have fundamental assumptions that you're unwilling to shake, such as the inherent credibility of love with a sociopath becauses missus says so. Ok, fine. Have fun with that, but I read books and stuff, I trust the researchers over a faceless person I don't actually think exists. Is that delusional? Hmm, I don't know, but I think I'll take my chances.
The major personality traits of the psychopath are supremacy and narcissism. The afflicted individual must be in complete control of their environment and all persons who are a part of that environment or can serve the psychopaths purposes in maintaining control. The psychopath is capable of using both aggressive anger and passive anger with cunning and guile, to achieve their goals of exerting control. Examples of such contrary behaviours are the aggressive violence against an intimate partner, with the frequent inherent abuse of children, and to groom friends, relatives, and professionals into believing they are harmless and indeed a very stable and friendly person. If thwarted in attaining these goals however, the passive can quickly turn into the aggressive.
In furtherance of these traits, the major tactics and ploys of the psychopath are:
1. Denial of wrongdoings in the face of clear evidence; 2. Refusal to take responsibility for behaviours and actions; 3. Minimise the incident and consequences; 4. Blame others; 5. Misrepresent, fabricate, embellish, and distort information and evidence; 6. Minimise all information and evidence regarding wrongdoing; 7. Claim victim status alleging the victim was the aggressor; 8. Project their own actions and behaviour onto the victim; e.g. she abuses/neglects the children/ she is an alcoholic or drug abuser. This is based on the belief by the psychopath that attack is the best form of defence.
You guys only believe in that love because you want it to be true. If the attachment exists it is centered around what the sociopath can gain from the relationship. Otherwise it doesn't really sound too sociopathic to me.
Ok medusa, but here's the difference for me personally.
I don't ever want commitment without genuine love. Maybe that works for missus, but a lifetime of that would be misery for me. I'm glad I have the freedom to pursue my hearts desire without having to commit myself to a situation that might ultimately turn out to be loveless. For me that would be a mistake. Perhaps Missy is happy that way-good for her.
Socio boy is insane. I'm not kidding. You guys have a small part of the story, the part I've told. Maybe he has been fucking with me, but I think he is mostly so unable to understand the workings of his own brain he is incapable of being as calculating as you'd assume. I've come to realize this lately. He is so unaware of what's going on in his mind. He's actually crazy. I'm not really sure about what I believe anymore. That's the truth.
i personally believe that sociopaths are in fact insane, think of an evil person and you have the socio. they are far from the cool headed logical people they are made out to be.
Uhm. Ok. I know a lot more about psychopaths then this person has posted. I've read every book and piece of research out there. None of that is news to me. Sorry.
You're already in a hole so why don't you just stop digging. You keep talking about how you're living freely and enjoying the moment with this guy. Yet here you are, pregnant and completely infatuated with him. He'll keep dragging you down until one day you wake up wondering what the fuck happened. If you've read every book out there and know that sociopaths can't love then what are you still doing with him? Mabye he's not even a sociopath. Chances are that he's just some fucked up toxic little weirdo and you're a naive teenager who's developed an unhealthy obsession with something that was never real to begin with. Does he even give a shit that you're pregnant?
No basically deep down I know that I should choose something healthier to love. Regardless I know he's crazy, I know he's not a good choice for me or anybody. Deep down I think he loves me but I don't trust my judgement, for reasons I'm sure you'll understand
I think you're as much of a wreck as him. What's he actually done since the beginning of the pregnancy? Was he in favour of the abortion? How long have you actually been together?
He sort of freaked out and didn't know what to do. But he's been sweet as hell. Maybe it does have something to do with the pregnancy, I don't know. He is in favor of the abortion but I think he feels terrible about it. He offered to pay for it all. That was nice.
He tried to love me...loved me in his own way I guess, still "loves" me...I realized he is just left out in the cold, trying to reach in. Had to hide his true identity because he is so pathetic nobody would want to even speak to him if they knew. It would be exhausting to have to act 24/7.
That would be exhausting wouldn't it. I don't judge my husband, and he is himself around me, so while you as I said have the specialness of an ant to him, I am invaluable to Ukan. He can talk to me about who and what he is, and sometimes I call him a demon, or destructive, but he can be himself... and we grow. For example, he knows that anything he does has to be destructive in some way for humanity, so his new job is destructive, but for us its great. He's a destructive force, and i can understand that. He's part of the balance, and we balance each other.
Ok, I know a lot of non sociopathic guys who are just like whatever, fuck you and fuck that. Anyway, he's been really great and supportive. FYI, I am special to him. What do you know missus? You're just spewing shot out your asshole. You might as well take my word if I'm forced to take yours, although I'm pretty sure you're as full as shit as you keep assuming I am. Everything accepts things at face value here. So take this at face value, too. I am special to him...perhaps his capacity to love is greatly impaired but as far as it does go I am loved in the way I can be.
"He is in favor of the abortion but I think he feels terrible about it. He offered to pay for it all. That was nice."
Mabye. Or mabye he just wants to offload the thing as soon as possible so he can be free of his responsibilities and perhaps free of you. I doubt things will go back to being the same after you've aborted it. What you've described so far sounds casual and this changes everything. He'll probably try to push the whole situation as far back in his memory as possible. It's not love for him thats keeping you in place though. Unhealthy people seek out unhealthy situations. Focusing on his flaws is just an excuse for ignoring your own.
I've known him for over two years. We've been through an awful lot together. Whatever else he's my best friend and I don't really think that'll ever change
socio boy sounds like some tortured romeo. hardly a callous sociopath. this guy sounds like the type that would beat you up, then feel terrible about it.
He's not usually sensitive but he was sensitive about the pregnancy, I guess that makes me wonder if he really might not be sociopathic after all. As you said. I was suprised.
Bluebird, when you first said he was being sweet as hell you said you knew it was because of the abortion. Now you just don't know.
What you sound like is someone who knows someone is hurting you badly, by your own admission, but you can't do anything about it because you can't face your emotions, also by your own admission. Its because you can't face and control your emotions that I think you are going to have this kid. And youre selling it to yourself like its invaluable that your following your emotions, like that's going to be the best decision for your life.
Right now in your life, everything feels special, and i can understand that as I was also idealistic in high school, but trust me, you need to get away from this guy before your emotions make you make dumber and dumber to the point where he can make you believe he loves you, as he's already starting to do. That deep down thing is your logic telling you you're going to be in a lot of pain soon. Listen to it. It will not stear you as wrong as what you are listening to.
No Kanny, miss said that could be the reason and I conceded the possibility. I really have no fucking clue with that guy. There really always has been something interesting between us. Eventually I'll move on. And I'm not keeping the kid.
yes, bluebird. You said in the beginning, "I know its because I'm pregnant" but what you know is getting a lot less black and white and a lot more gray.
Yeah, it's true, all I know is grey. Everything is grey, we love in grey. There are so few things in this world that are black and white and beginning to realize how foolish it is to put things in those terms. Please quote that to me, pretty sure I said, maybe it's the pregnancy.
I meant we live in grey. It's my favorite cor. It's a thought disorder to see everything in black and white. Reality, unfortunately, is rarely so clean cut, so simple as that.
Youre probably right, maybe he'll hurt me, but I won't stop being his friend. I don't want to cut him out of my life because he's a huge part of my social circle and I can't stop feeling for him so where does that leave me? Exactly where I am, obviously. There's no way around it so I'm choosing to just accept it.
Your emotions are cloud in, or graying, your mind. You also said in the beginning you know you don't want it but you say stuff like it'd be great to have his kid and a different husband... it'd be super awesome to unload your mistakes on your future relationships. That sounds selfish. See black and white.
We've always been what we are though, medusa. Were not really together, but he's not into anyone else right now. He knows I love him and sometimes I really do believe he loves me too. He's always been my friend, and the sex is recent but it hasn't changed what we mean to each other. It's always sort of been this odd thing so there's nothing to break off and make us ex's. Since it doesn't really fall in any particular category I don't see us ever becoming exes, we're always just going to be really close friends.
Well Kanney we are friends. Sometimes we have sex. Also, sometimes I hook up with other people in my social circle, both girls and boys. It's socially incestuous, we're all just really close. Wierd maybe but I don't care in particular.
I do but I feel I shouldn't so I'm back and forth on whether loves me. It's like I've always known he loves me but it's a strange love, and sometimes I don't believe it and sometimes I'm certain, it really depends.
If he loved you he'd be with you. He'd call you his girlfriend. He's not, and doesn't need to, because he's already got his cake and is eating it, all nom nom nom.
And sex changes friendships. Forever. You will learn this eventually. You cannot go backwards.
And he WILL be into someone else at some point. I wonder if you'll still hold on to your existential go-with-the-flow-of-the-universe, idealistically deluded vision of what love is when that happens.
That isn't actually weird, that's typical again. You still aren't special. And i have to agree with medusa on everything on this one. Youdont go back to being friends. You're fuck buddies. That's it. Before you were young, now your fuck buddies, then he'll be gone forever. Period. If he or you loved each other, you'd be with each other. You don't and you aren't.
But I like sex with him. It's true he won't commit so perhaps it de facto cannotbe substantial, but I still believe he loves me. Since he's kind of insane I don't measure him to the standards that you'd measure normal people by. A few of the most important girls in his life he hasn't dated. He can't commit and has related to me that deep down he DOESN'T understand commitment, wanting to be with a person, caring, that sort of thing. But the same night he held me and told me he loved me and didn't I always know that? And the way he looked at me was so very serious and intense that I couldn't doubt him. Is that naive? I guess, but...i don't know. He's insane, I don't really judge him normally. After he's opened up to me so much I'm not sure what I think about him-it's VERY grey
Kanney if you honestly believe this one of his best friends is a girl that he used to have sex with and never dated. They are still extremely important to each other but now she's moved on and moved away and has a boyfriend. they don't fuck. But she's still a very important part of his life, vice versa. So think you guys are being a little close minded.
That is naive. He's getting laid, and he loves it. You're getting laid and you love it. The sooner you take all this extra emotional shit off of that the better. It isn't gray, it really is just thatthe two of you are fucking each other... and others. It isn't this deep social complex unique network you have, you're just young, sexual people. You're "discovering yourselves" and many a million have done the same before you, and thought it was more. And i still don't believe he's a sociopath, I think he just has issues and doesnt want to be sensitive cause he thinks its weak. I picture him as a Hispanic.
Well it sounds like one day you just got bored of being "friends" and started screwing eachother right?. There's nothing serious about this relationship and you don't love him even if you think you do. You said yourself that you were ready to leave him at the drop of a hat for some other guy in your class. And now it's some big fucking orgy with everyone you know? Do you want to know why he doesn't care about you doing that? It's because he doesn't care about you. Shit how do you even know the baby is his? You're confusing sex with feelings. Mabye you think it means something but I can tell you that for teenaged boys its all conquest.
I know that you think you have the world figured out, and its cute, really, but at some point you're going to see that you are the one who is wrong. At least I hope you do. I suppose some hippies never grow up to find value in their lives. But I like to hope you will.
Ok. He does fit hares checklist to a T but your correct perhaps he's not a sociopath. In that case I'm a little more certain that he might be capable of genuinely loving me though. So whatever. I don't know why you're trying to get a mental picture of him. It really doesn't make a difference. Deep down maybe he is kinda sensitive. Very confused, beautiful with music, doesn't really understand people. I'm too dramatic to dispense with the emotionality and why should I? It's flavorful.
I've only fucked him though mis. Ive done some other things with friends here and there but nothing particularly serious...you guys are making it so sexual, you don't get it, the sexual stuff only happens because we're all such emotional people, really. I don't talk about that stuff with him. It doesn't matter, you're right at my age people are sexual but to me it doesn't really have all that much to do with the extent to which we care about each other. He's not all that sexual-does that surprise you? He's not all that crazy about sex-he gets horny, but it's kind of something on the back burner for him.
Is it so hard for you to believe people can care about each other without sex being involved? Jesus, you are emotionally retarded. No wonder I'm so sure your UKan. Look. He and my friend mean a lot to each other because they shared a lot of experiences and value each other a lot. It's emotional. It had nothing to do with their sex and whether they are still having it, they're not, but they are still valuable to each other. You just can't wrap your freaking head around that can you missus? That people can care for each other, no longer be engaged in sexual activities. And would want to remain in each others life because that person is important. You just can't understand that it has nothing to do with the sex anymore and something is STILL there. But what could it be, you wonder? You will never know.
sigh, you're so typical. We've met so many hippies exactly like you. Its all just easier this way, not to have to really care about anything, and just get all your needs taken care of, but what you don't get is that you have no depth, but you go around masqueerading all this feely stuff like it gives you more depth. Your trite, incomplex, and ununique. You aren't special. Special is something people earn. And you'll never earn it because you celebrate your mediocrity.
The Cult of Love is pervasive, seductive and totally full of crap. Actual love is simple. It's chemical obsession, and it's purpose is for two people to procreate and stay interested with each other long enough for a kid to pop out and not die right away.
Can I become obsessed with a sexual partner and do crazy stupid things for them? Yes. I had a partner who once that was just as crazy, if not more than me in her own ways, and it was fantastic. Just one big chaotic roller coaster for a couple years. Did I ever put her before me? No. Did I ever prioritize her wants and needs over me? No. Would I have taken a bullet for her? Hell no. Did I ever feel bad for her when she was hurt and sick, did I ever inherently feel attached to her, and was I crushed when it was all over? Nope.
The Cult of Love says you need to be these insanse, self-sacrificing and melodramatic Guinevere and Lancelots when in reality if both of you bothered to take care of each other first, most of your problems wouldn't exist. Taking care of number one doesn't necessitate ignoring number two.
But that was my entire point. S and him are BEST friends, once had sex, don't anymore, and are STILL best friends. That's the example I'm trying to give you to explain my point. Look, there is mutual affection and caring without sex. I know for a fact there is no sex, and i know for a fact they are very important to each other. Just like he will always be important to ms and I to him regardless of sex, but since you are actually UKan and a sociopath, you can't make any sense of this.
The part that you don't understand is how selfish and unfair it is of her to do to her boyfriend. Men get jealous when they care, and if he doesn't get jealous, he will when she cheats on him. There are reasons in the world for the patterns people have. If they cared for each other theyd be fair to each other, or they have an open relationship so it doesn't matter anyways. Because what she's doing to her boyfriend by talking to someone she has feelings for is fucked up. It puts her in a situation where shes likely to cheat on him. And from that I gather he's too weak and she in control in the relationship... right?
Ooooh OK. You don't tell him about your friends eating your pussy every sunday because "it doesn't matter". See I'm thinking that mabye you dont tell him because you think it might just piss him off a little bit? And your mates only play with you because you just love so much they cant think of another way to express it? Yeah not at all because their horny and you're always up for it. Always.
If I didn't want to argue I wouldn't be here medusa. I guess all I want to do is sit here and argue, I don't know why, maybe because otherwise I just sit in my own head and get bored. Its cool to have to defend yourself. I could just leave if I didn't want to have to...but then what? Stuck. I could keep going this way. If I'm not being sensible medusa, then explain to me what I've said that doesn't make sense? You're so focused on throwing out everything I say that you aren't listening to any of my points.
Missus, it's not sexual. Her boyfriend doesn't have to feel threatened. Anyway, people aren't allowed to have opposite sex friends while dating? Wow, glad I'm not with your dude.
Missus you are too emotionally stunted to understand there are relationships in the world that aren't centered around using people and enjoying them. Seriously. You don't get it at all. Sometimes people just care about each other. Period.
I hear everything you are saying. We've all been there when we were teenagers. Many of I'm sure have tried using the same justifications and rationalizations. You are saying nothing new under the sun. Your relationship is not 'strange' or in any way special or different, it's just... being in college.
How is it a 19 year old can come in here and tell everyone who has way more experience and many years and relationships on her that they have no idea what they are talking about?
Lol. Its a thing you do when you care about people... you know, not hang around with people you like, and or know you have sexual chemistry with. You're supposed to think, maybe this will lead to something sexual, and say, not talk to them. You can have friends of the opposite sex... but not people you'd fuck, or have fucked. I know that sounds crazy to you what with your free love, butthats because you don't care aboutanyone.
I didn't say you don't know what you're talking about. You're right of course about most of it. But not about mutual caring among friends who have had sex in the past-saying that doesn't happen doesn't accord with my experience of reality.
Fucking spam filter. Comment wasn't even that long.
Anyway, my point is, love is a simple solitary thing. It's not compassion, or attachment, or self-sacrifice, or being altruistic. Those things usually come with love to some degree, but they're often fleeting, like love itself.
Several diagnosed and undiagnosed Psychopaths/Sociopaths here have claimed to have been in love one time or another. For me, it has only happened once, and I've been in a few long-term relationships. Maybe it's just difficult/rare.
Right, Medusa? Seriously! Like we've never been anywhere. And she isnt even confident about it. She knows he doesn't love her, and should just say she doesn't love him, cause she all but came out with it already!
That's sounds extremely lame. I'm glad I live in my "crazyyy kiddie world". Seriously? That's what you think is sane and normal? Maybe I'm only 19, but somehow this sounds very odd to me, hmmmmmmm
Love is what people do when they need or want children, yes, but its also what people find when they cannot grow further on their own. We need relationships in which people know us so we can't lie to them, and they force us to grow, and because people seek self actualization, people seek love. Its an immeasurable comraderie, and has little to do with sex or infatuation, which is why we know you arent in love, little blue. You arent even complex enough for the details of you life not to be transparent. Anyone can see who you are and help you at this point. When you become special come back and talk to us.
I love him a lot, pretty sure I never contradicted that. I've said I'll move on at some point but that's realism. He lobes me too, but I'd never say what another person feels with 100% confidence. But when he looks at me and says he loves me, it's powerful enough I can't doubt the sincerity, at least when he says it.
Anyway, my point is, love is a simple solitary thing. It's not compassion, or attachment, or self-sacrifice, or being altruistic. Those things usually come with love to some degree, but they're often fleeting, like love itself.
How can you say I don't know what I'm talking about? People don't have meaningful nonsexual relationships after having sex? Maybe you don't know the right people. I could have come on here and said nothing of my age or my experiences, and perhaps you'd be willing to consider and integrate one piece of information that comes under my handle and appears on your screen. But, alas, you accord more ethos to missus-where does this credibility come from again? If you stopped thinking about who was more credible and vied for sheer reason alone perhaps you wouldn't be so willing to discount me and credit her despite the evident fact that emotionality and human relationships are NOT her strong suit at ALL.
Regardless of "experience" (and the fact she's UKan) Come ON medusa.
Neuroscientists, evolutionary psychologists and 'regular' psychologists can't even agree on what love is, so it's awfully presumptuous for you to assume you are experiencing one emotion without the others, as if they Have to be this packaged deal.
So what, that's 'socio love'? Because from the people who have come by here with RAD, NPD and BPD all seem to have the same problems in the love department.
My point is that you Don't know what love is in it's exclusivity, because you, yes You, probably can't experience it without that rest of the baggage.
Neuroscientists, evolutionary psychologists and 'regular' psychologists can't even agree on what love is, so it's awfully presumptuous for you to assume you are experiencing one emotion without the others, as if they Have to be this packaged deal.
So what, that's 'socio love'? Because from the people who have come by here with RAD, NPD and BPD all seem to have the same problems in the love department.
My point is that you Don't know what love is in it's exclusivity, because you, yes You, probably can't experience it without that rest of the baggage.
Lol. Oh blue. Your subconcious is against you because any time you try to say I'm in love or he's in love you have to add an explicative. Like sometimes, but, maybe, etc. You contradict yourself all over, not to mention your general defensiveness. We're actually getting bored of telling you how dumb you are. But you just won't stop trying to prove to all of us why socioboy, you and all your friends are special. Don't the people in your life think your super?go prove it to them if you can't aspire for yourself to actaully be special. It isnt us who you have to prove it to, its you.
I made one sardonic sarcastic statement about special snowflakes because I thought it would make someone laugh and look how seriously everyone has taken me? Fucking ridiculous.
Well let me clear the record, please. I don't think I am special or anyone else I know is special. Actually, I don't give a shit who is or isn't special. It has no relevance to me, or my life, or understanding myself, or anything at all, and I don't know why you're all seizing this. Please. I don't think I'm fucking special.
Alright, blue, I am a completely emotional person. I used to believe in that legitimacy in the emotional context, and i put a very high level of significance on emotions. And i would follow my emotions to an unreasonable degree. Now, I've been places because of my emotions that I can see not only their legitimacy, but their tendancy to misguide me. See shaman ex. You have to learn not to always act on your emotions. They're not a leader, they're a personal enhancement to your life. Following them is what makes people addicts, losers, miserable, and foolish, as you are being. And if you said you were 30 something I'd just think you were ami and none of us would have any hope for you.
it's awfully presumptuous for you to assume you are experiencing one emotion without the others, as if they Have to be this packaged deal
First of all, compassion, self-sacrifice, and altruism are not emotions. They are actions.
And, in my mind, so is love. It is not a feeling. It comes with feelings (or chemicals, if you will), but it's not a feeling in and of itself.
It only exists between two things. Not in one thing alone. Therefore I disagree with your opinion that "love is a simple solitary thing."
Therefore, real love cannot go one way. Unrequited love is not love at all. It's a creation between two. Same as you need two people to get a baby.
And since it is between two entities, all that shit like altruism and self-sacrifice are inevitable. Even for a sociopath, if you plan on being committed to someone.
I called your stuff a "socio version" because you are just talking about your whims. Not love.
Lol. Now she doesn't think she's special and she was kidding the whole time when she was arguing it emphatically. Oh well now she seems much more deep. We all totally misjudged her.
No you wouldn't. Because I wouldn't tell you about socio boy if I said I was 30. Instead of being open, like I am, o would just never confide and maintain the illusion that I'm wiser and more infallible than I actually am.
You're fucking stupid. Go find me a statement where I ever say I think I'm special. I haven't once. You thought it up all on your own and have been flinging it at me ever since. All you read was me trying to say something witty in jest which you interpreted as some kind of narcissistic self perception. Pretty annoying.
I made one sardonic sarcastic statement about special snowflakes because I thought it would make someone laugh and look how seriously everyone has taken me?
It's not that, it's every other sentence you write. "We're all weirder, stranger, more different, more emotional, more sensitive, more close, more intimate than everyone and you just don't get it!"
You are all theory, girl. It's like you've been researching relationships and all this stuff, so logically you know what's right, but you don't really believe it because you haven't really experienced it yet, not so that you know it in your bones. You aren't ready to connect theory with experience and reality. You've got a vast gap going on between the two.
Talking to you reminds me of reading my old college journals. Everything in there was brilliant, and is still brilliant, except when I start talking about boys. Cringe-inducing when I read it now.
That's a valid point Medusa. Lovehas an ability to create things out of people that were not there. And with the feelings of love, there is a pull and sort of stifling that comes with a need for yourself. When you are strong enoughinyourself, love between strong people is a creative venture, when you have two weak people it is them ravenously trying to take from the other to pull themselves up. By weak I should specify undeveloped. You have to grow as much as you can by yourself before you can ever fall in love or you won't be able to bring anything to the entity. And when you have grown as much as you can, love makes new things possible. Not emotionally, but literally. You find someone to know you and to show you new capabilities for yourself.
Wow guys. This is getting amusingly deep for a sociopath blog. I think you should just leave Bluebird to learn things for herself. TNP, I think you're half right. Things like compassion and altruism when associated with feelings of love can last a lifetime, that I know. I think this is all quite amusing though. Carry on.
Why dont you just pretend like you're not getting an abortion for a while and see how he reacts? Then you can find out just how much he really loves you.
I knocked up a girlfriend a few years ago. I liked her a lot. She was like one of the guys, we could do anything together from sports to, whatever. But it was more like she was a friend I fucked than a girlfriend. I still called her my girlfriend, but there was never this assumption of falling in love or being long-term, and as much fun as we had, I don't think either of us fell in love due to our 'emotional problems'.
We broke up before I moved to another part of the States for a job I got. I found out a few weeks later she was pregnant. I had seen this scene a hundred times in books, movies, tv shows, whatever, so I knew what Not to do/say, so I asked her, "What do you want to do?"
Pro Tips when you find out you knocked your girl/ex up: 1. Never directly say abortion when it's still a question of what to do 2. Never assume they want you to raise the child if they're keeping it 3. Never assume they want to marry you to avoid shame/religious issues 4. Never assume you have a say in it. You can press for/against the abortion, but she gets to make the choice in the end
Anyway, back to the story. With that simple vague question, I found out that she wanted to keep the child, she didn't love me and didn't want to get married, and was fine with me doing child support.
All I asked was one question.
Me on the other hand, I had my own plans. I had no children before. One of my few hopes or goals in life is having a child that I can actually raise. I don't know why, but I do. At least one. So this was important to me, even though I wanted her to get an abortion because I wasn't going to be some child support daddy. So I decided that I would move back and help her raise our child. Not because I loved her, or this fetus, or sense of duty, but because I really want to be a father. It took a while to come to that conclusion after weighing the pros and cons, but by the time I was getting ready to come back, she calls me in tears. She's flipping out and yelling and sobbing. When she finally calms down, she told me she miscarried.
I calmed her down, and we haven't talked about it since, even though we still talk on occasion. I personally didn't feel anything. Not disappointment, not sadness, just complete indifference. If anything, that miscarriage was one little miracle snuffing out another.
Please don't get me started on you born agains, ok? I'll laugh too hard. Blind ignorant fanatism based on faith alone. Dogmatism. Don't try to argue with these people, guys. It's SO pointless. People who are so obsessed with adhering to religious tenants are not swayed by reason or logic: that defies the very purpose of their faith.
I thought this was pretty funny. She seems a bit dogmatic, doesn't she?
Whatever. If you think it's not true no skin off my back.
But apparently it is. Yer panties are all bunched up.
I see you every other comment trying to say the right things, the wise things, the open-minded things, or stuff like "I know your right, but...", but I don't think you believe them. It's more like you want those attributes (wise, smart, open-minded, can take criticism) more than you actually believe half the stuff you are telling us.
But if I was stranger, weirder, or more special, how would you know? I can't tell you that I am and expect you to believe me and you can't tell me I'm not and have any basis for being right. You have no idea if I'm special or not, that's why it's irrelevant on the Internet. Neither of us have any basis for saying either way. I couldn't credit it fairly but neither could you deny it fairly medusa. We are nothing more than text on a screen to each other-why make further assumptions? That's a little unreasonable.
Actually we can all tell very easily how special you are not. You think we have to know your past? Everyone here can see through your present, and we can see more clearly than most things we know about you that you are not the special snowflake you are trying so desperately to be. Perhaps someday, little blue.
I'm just trying to respond to your arguments in a way you might get it-I'm not trying to come off some way, my approach would be far different were that the case. Swear to you, I want nothing more than to be understood, but you all only want me to admit to being a stupid inexperienced girl in love who is narcissistic and being manipulated, because that's the only reality you are willing to accept.
Bluebird, I'm just going by what you said about yourself! YOU are the one who said you and all your friends are so strange, sensitive, emotional, artsy, etc...
I think notme is correct though; you just needs to be left to learn by experience, it seems.
Because right now you are looking nuts, not even because of your beliefs (or naivety), but because you keep contradicting them after being criticized for them.
Why do you need to be understood so badly? Don't you see we do understand you? What you really want is for the truth to be different, so perhaps you should stop talking and introspect. You are getting tedious and i do agree as well that only experience at this point is going to help you. Relate to your friends, as you cannot relate to us yet.
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Mirrors.
ReplyDeleteDo you think you might be able to keep things intercontinental next time? Now I have no choice but to post something off-topic.
ReplyDeleteMisses has no emotional finesse, hardly any compassion and as such displays the same bullish ignorance that Ukan does about mental issues (isn't she meant to be studying psychology or something?). They are either the same person or I am just pretty unimpressed after all that smoke Ukan blew up her jacksie. Plus her spelling is atrocious, I don't know why they're so hung up on how well she spells. Lol.
ReplyDeleteGood morning. :p
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dccldpSpag
ReplyDeleteWhales don't mind you near them so close? Wow. I want to cuddle with one right now. I have to go to sleep now with my bottie and blankie. Night night .
ReplyDeleteIt's another one of Ukans 5 year old games. Another immature attention stunt. Look at me! Look at me!
ReplyDeleteMy S was a little kid too. The beauty of it all is I am 100 times stronger than I was, smarter and have gotten to a point where I know why this person did this. He tried to love me...loved me in his own way I guess, still "loves" me...I realized he is just left out in the cold, trying to reach in. Had to hide his true identity because he is so pathetic nobody would want to even speak to him if they knew. It would be exhausting to have to act 24/7. Life would suck...not being able to be "yourself" because the reality is you are such a piece of crap. No wonder why he had to take naps.
We had some great times...I learned a ton and am SO glad we split up! He was old....ugly, a friggin complete slob...had nothing going for him except me, life became real boring and all we did was work...I hated it there but stayed because of "love" so I am relieved! He lost me. Not to mention he's been paying my rent for the past 9 months and little does he know I tipped off the police about his illegal medical marijuana operation since he is cutting me off financially and lying telling me he's broke...meanwhile I just got promoted at one job (where I actually walked out of) then they called me to please come back WHY? Because I am a great, very likeable REAL person. I also just got 2 other jobs which I work from home doing. Life is good. To the sociopath: Always know this - you will eventually be found out...shit will start happening and you won't know why...hmmmmm. Us normal people can be devious as well..only to people who deserve it. This man's life is about to come crashing down on him and he will be in jail - just where he belongs.
If Missus is real, and not UKan, I think she has admirable traits. My marriage failed. She was right that I was bitter. If she can make a marriage work, with a sociopath, I want to learn how she does it.
ReplyDeleteI will not share specific details on here because I see what you do to people. I will share general things, only.
My marriage failed. I will share that.
Just saw the following and will respond a bit late in the game.
ReplyDeleteI don't at all think I am superior to anyone here. I only state what appears to be pathetic to me. Just because you are pathetic does not make me superior. I have my own flaws, they just have not involved pregnancy, or damaging children, or betting on some child of God who also happens to be God.
The way I use this place is to understand different types of flaws better. At this point it's the beepers. They are the worst when they are also mothers. Notme has been saying she is a beeper but she had a way of laughing at herself that makes her a high-functioning beeper. All the others seem stuck at that attention-whore identity that our psychos have introduced to me, and I am thankful. I have become very quick at diagnosing these in real life, and have saved myself quite a bit of time and money by withdrawing all attention from the whining beepers in my life. So, salud,,,,
Anonymous said...
sceli why do you think you're so superior to everyone here? is that what you use this place for? to feel like you're without flaw when comparing yourself to the others who come to this place? if that's what you believe than i think you're worse than they are. at least they know how fucked up they are. you think you're above everyone but you harbor so much contempt and hate.
October 22, 2011 9:25 AM
Eden is jealous of you, Scelli. She cannot stand someone of your statue.
ReplyDeleteDon't pay attention to it. No one believed it.
to make it complete. I don't have hate for beepers, at all. I just am not interested in them, and I am ok with telling them what I think of them on SW. In real life, I do't tell them what I think of them, I just withdraw attention, and it's quite amusing to what extent they'll go to regain that attention. Their need is pathetic when it comes to just some acquaintance (as in me), I can only imagine how hard these beepers are working to gain and keep some guy's/gal's attention (just look at the sexual energy that comes out here among the bi's), let alone a socio lover who by definition would play into their insecurities. Indeed a match made in heaven between a beeper and a socio.
ReplyDeleteanon, thanks.
ReplyDeleteAs for Eden... I have felt very deep sadness when I read the lines where her mom left with another sister, and her dad chose to take another sister in bed, and asked her to lick her blood. I mean, it is really hard to believe, and I may be naive in believing this, but I did believe her and hence felt deeply sad. This sort of abuse is just unimaginable to me, and I count my blessings every day that I don't have a child and have no way of damaging a child. Eden believes she is a great mom but she exposed her daughter's info on this site and there is no excuse for that.
Jeez Eden. My life has been a slice of lemon pie compared to yours.
ReplyDeleteNotme; yeah. That you've had that thought indicates to me that you are thinking and its refreshing to know that somebody around here is.
If she can make a marriage work, with a sociopath, I want to learn how she does it.
ReplyDeleteYes we know.
Pretty funny though, seeing as you consider UKan to be absolute slime.
Any marraige can "work", just depends on what you consider functional. If you're ok with an abusive, emotionally void lifestyle, then your definition of functional is going to be different than someone that wants something more satisfying.
ReplyDeleteAlso, they haven't been married that long. Everything's better in the beginning.
If missus was real I would be unimpressed, as she doesn't seem particularly smart and she is dull. However, you all know my feelings on this, I think youd have to be a little daft to give the credence.
ReplyDeleteShe sure seems smarter than you...
ReplyDeleteMedusa, I am not here, a lot. I travel, quite a bit. I see someone was impersonating me, last night.
ReplyDeleteI am a flight attendant on the International Route.
Heh... jealous of Sceli, Ami?
ReplyDeleteYeah, just like I was jealous of you? What is there for me to be jealous of? She never shares anything about herself. She's all opinion, and no substance, in my eyes.
As far a exposing my daughter goes:
Funny how my Facebook was known for quite some time here, and yet not one single sociopath, tried to post a link to it, or to my daughters. You're powers of insight and perception, are faulty, Sceli. The link to my daughter's Facebook was put up by either Ami, or Luke (more than likely Ami), back when he was being exposed, and Ami was so desperate to defend him after I called him a narcissistic father, who was pushing his kid too hard.
She/He then posted the link to my daughter's Facebook, and insulted my daughter, along with myself. I never attacked Luke's child... I only attacked what he said he expected of his child, and because Ami was so damn infatuated with him; she just couldn't stand it, or help herself.
The sociopaths, for the most part... have actually been the most respectful of all the posters here, towards me since I got here. Even when TNP went after me for acting like such a whore; he still didn't put up a link to my daughter's Facebook... and he had taken a look at my Facebook for sure.
No.
Indeed the only people who have tried to expose my child since I've arrived, or have been extremely combative and jugmental since I got here, are the women who claim to be empathic , and Christian no less! Heh... and the one who despises me the most out of that intire group, lost a child to suicide!
Yeah... I think I'm aware of who the real wolves are when it comes to children, and this site... and it aint the resident sociopaths. And so far; the only people who are of the opinion that I'm a bad mother; are women like you Sceli, who can't even trust yourself to have them, for fear you'll damage them... and the only bitch in this place who's mangaged to get under M.E.'s skin... who oh yeah (can't mention it enough), had a son who killed himself!
The fact that I get under you bitches skin so well, gives me such pleasure. That's why I imitate your own personalities, and reflect them back to you... to piss you off with!!! But I also take pleasure in your pity of me Sceli... and the voice in the back of your head, asking you whether or not you should actually believe my story. It means you still haven't figured me out yet... and you probably never will.
Who do i sound like now? ;)
I want to put my 2 cents in as to why there are/were? gals here - me included - who have dated narc after narc and why it doesn't work if you're really strong but also fucked in the head with mental illness.
ReplyDeleteThey can't handle your weakness. They want a strong Mommy. We don't want a child. We want a man who is not afraid of fragility.
Because they want constant recognition, they force you to ignore putting yourself first. This can be a load off the mind of a person who doesn't want to focus on her illness/weakness. It's a way to get busy with someone else's needs so you can ignore yours.
If I wanted this ^ I 'd a pushed out a baby.
They keep you from relating to yourself as a mature woman with adult sexual needs. SO if you have an attachment disorder how nice and convenient is that for you that you won't attach to them?
who said you have to be faithful to the narcissist? there are many more men out there who can make you feel like a queen.
ReplyDeletenothing more exciting than a double life.
ReplyDeleteWho said you have to be faithful to a narcissist? Who said you have to be attracted to that type at all. Ixnay on the Arcissisistnay.
ReplyDeleteI like it that Eden is like Charles Busch.
ReplyDeleteDouble the pleasure
ReplyDeleteDouble the fun!
dating people with PD's are so much more fun!
ReplyDeleteA narcissist will only make you feeling like a queen if he is feeling like king shit.
ReplyDeleteA normal person doesn't always expect to be treated and feel like king shit.
Insofar as you are an extention of him, you need to keep him feeling like king shit in order to continue feeling like a queen? Too much work, narcs. Sorry.
You are pitiful, Eden.
ReplyDeletesounds to me like you get way too emotionally invested in relationships
ReplyDeleteJane do you like to poke your little sticks up the hiney?
ReplyDeleteEXaCTLY, Jane
ReplyDelete"Funny how my Facebook was known for quite some time here, and yet not one single sociopath, tried to post a link to it, or to my daughters"
ReplyDeletethat's cause they are indifferent to you.
That's a projection if I ever saw one.
ReplyDeleteThey never seem to let Erin/Ami go, even though she left. Get over it.
ReplyDeletei like the view from here. gives me a new perspective lol ;)
ReplyDeleteNot to say marriage to a sociopath is unworkable. But I think only if it's based on mutual interest. Sociopaths don't feel genuine love anyway.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, much smarter than me.
ReplyDeleteThat's why she married a sociopath. Haha. I'll take my chances with my own brain.
ReplyDeletejust because you don't mean anything to your socio BB doesn't mean that is true for everyone
ReplyDeletenot everyone can feel love like you but it doesn't mean we don't truly enjoy the company of certain people
Eden, fuck yeah. You've opened up about yourself. You've shared your weakness and I think that's a strength. All sceli does is talk about her superiority for not sharing what you've admit to. I have no particular respect for that. Anyone can come on here and claim anything they want to. It doesn't mean they are better, stronger people. Just more deluded into their strength. It's a foundation of sand.
ReplyDeletesociopaths only see that bad in other people. they feel that if they are good to others, the person will view them as weak, or take advantage of them. they act callously, fearing this engulfment of being seen as weak or gentle.
ReplyDeletethe bad*
ReplyDeleteWell, obviously he enjoys my company. But come on now. Because someone comes on here claiming her sociopath genuinely loves her, you instantly believe that. I appeal to research, and that's why I refuse to believe my socio loves me and "missus's" socio loves her, our knowledge on sociopaths says otherwise. If you believe a sociopath can really love, perhaps he isn't actually sociopathic. I actually do think mine loves me. Could be that I was wrong about the sociopathy. But you guys have fundamental assumptions that you're unwilling to shake, such as the inherent credibility of love with a sociopath becauses missus says so. Ok, fine. Have fun with that, but I read books and stuff, I trust the researchers over a faceless person I don't actually think exists. Is that delusional? Hmm, I don't know, but I think I'll take my chances.
ReplyDeleteI love a rugged beard..... ^.^
ReplyDeleteThe major personality traits of the psychopath are supremacy and narcissism. The afflicted individual must be in complete control of their environment and all persons who are a part of that environment or can serve the psychopaths purposes in maintaining control. The psychopath is capable of using both aggressive anger and passive anger with cunning and guile, to achieve their goals of exerting control. Examples of such contrary behaviours are the aggressive violence against an intimate partner, with the frequent inherent abuse of children, and to groom friends, relatives, and professionals into believing they are harmless and indeed a very stable and friendly person. If thwarted in attaining these goals however, the passive can quickly turn into the aggressive.
ReplyDeleteIn furtherance of these traits, the major tactics and ploys of the psychopath are:
1. Denial of wrongdoings in the face of clear evidence;
2. Refusal to take responsibility for behaviours and actions;
3. Minimise the incident and consequences;
4. Blame others;
5. Misrepresent, fabricate, embellish, and distort information and evidence;
6. Minimise all information and evidence regarding wrongdoing;
7. Claim victim status alleging the victim was the aggressor;
8. Project their own actions and behaviour onto the victim; e.g. she abuses/neglects the children/ she is an alcoholic or drug abuser. This is based on the belief by the psychopath that attack is the best form of defence.
You guys only believe in that love because you want it to be true. If the attachment exists it is centered around what the sociopath can gain from the relationship. Otherwise it doesn't really sound too sociopathic to me.
ReplyDeleteBut you and your socio aren't even in a relationship, are you? Let alone a committed one.
ReplyDeleteHe's just fucking you from what it sounds like.
Huge difference.
It's not the love part that's different. It's the commitment part.
I like watching you spin in circles chasing your own tail
ReplyDeleteI bet it is this easy for Socio boy to do this to you
Ok medusa, but here's the difference for me personally.
ReplyDeleteI don't ever want commitment without genuine love. Maybe that works for missus, but a lifetime of that would be misery for me. I'm glad I have the freedom to pursue my hearts desire without having to commit myself to a situation that might ultimately turn out to be loveless. For me that would be a mistake. Perhaps Missy is happy that way-good for her.
Sw psychologist is a genius.
ReplyDeleteSocio boy is insane. I'm not kidding. You guys have a small part of the story, the part I've told. Maybe he has been fucking with me, but I think he is mostly so unable to understand the workings of his own brain he is incapable of being as calculating as you'd assume. I've come to realize this lately. He is so unaware of what's going on in his mind. He's actually crazy. I'm not really sure about what I believe anymore. That's the truth.
ReplyDeleteBird brain, why haven't you thanked sw psychologist?
ReplyDeletei personally believe that sociopaths are in fact insane, think of an evil person and you have the socio. they are far from the cool headed logical people they are made out to be.
ReplyDeleteGo get baked and forget socio boy. You are way to high strung for being a hippie
ReplyDeleteUhm. Ok. I know a lot more about psychopaths then this person has posted. I've read every book and piece of research out there. None of that is news to me. Sorry.
ReplyDeletewhen the victim comes out of a relationship with the sociopath, the victim feels as if she has been raped, degraded and defiled.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm not a hippy. Maybe I'm not anything. I'm just a person. Screw the self definitions.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if you can't dance is also UKan. Just saying if it comes out later please don't accuse me of being surprised.
ReplyDeleteNo I am not Ukan lol
ReplyDeleteI just don't understand how one guy can get you so twisted. Don't screw him anymore, get yourself dolled up and go out and find yourself a decent guy.
bluebird. why don't you tell us some of the horrible things socio boy has done to you?
ReplyDeleteHE PLAYED WIV MA VAGANUZ
ReplyDeleteYou're already in a hole so why don't you just stop digging. You keep talking about how you're living freely and enjoying the moment with this guy. Yet here you are, pregnant and completely infatuated with him. He'll keep dragging you down until one day you wake up wondering what the fuck happened. If you've read every book out there and know that sociopaths can't love then what are you still doing with him? Mabye he's not even a sociopath. Chances are that he's just some fucked up toxic little weirdo and you're a naive teenager who's developed an unhealthy obsession with something that was never real to begin with. Does he even give a shit that you're pregnant?
ReplyDeleteno BB dont tell us anymore. this is getting old
ReplyDeleteyou can either cut him out and move on or continue being dragged through the mud.
@mis
ReplyDeleteYes. He cares a lot.
As per how I can read every book and not change my actions, that's the funny thing about both insanity and emotions.
"Yes. He cares a lot."
ReplyDeleteNot a socio.
"Yes. He cares a lot."
ReplyDeleteHow has he shown it? Are you worried that as soon as you abort it he'll cast you aside?
"As per how I can read every book and not change my actions, that's the funny thing about both insanity and emotions."
Right. So basically you know deep down in your heart of hearts that he doesn't love you. But you'd like him to.
Maybe not. I was surprised, very surprised, but sometimes people surprise you.
ReplyDeletePost a picture of him.
ReplyDeleteNo basically deep down I know that I should choose something healthier to love. Regardless I know he's crazy, I know he's not a good choice for me or anybody. Deep down I think he loves me but I don't trust my judgement, for reasons I'm sure you'll understand
ReplyDelete@anon
ReplyDeleteWhy the fuck would I do that
he better be a good lay BB
ReplyDelete"Why the fuck would I do that"
ReplyDeleteWe want to see what we're dealing with. We are in this together.
LOL
ReplyDeletereally it doesn't matter what anyone says here Blue, you are gonna make this work in your head no matter what.
ReplyDeletestay with him till he moves on to better pastures if that is what you want. either way no one here cares
I know anon, it's fun to hear though. Everyone will always do what they want in the end
ReplyDeleteyour boyfriend has no game, he's weak. if i got my way, you'd be in a serious mess. i would have tortured you.
ReplyDeleteYou'd have to make me love you before you could get close enough to torture me though. That's the hard part.
ReplyDeleteCan you torture me? :)
ReplyDeleteI think you're as much of a wreck as him. What's he actually done since the beginning of the pregnancy? Was he in favour of the abortion? How long have you actually been together?
ReplyDeleteoh lord lol
ReplyDeleteAnd studied all kind of things, for years...
ReplyDeleteHe sort of freaked out and didn't know what to do. But he's been sweet as hell. Maybe it does have something to do with the pregnancy, I don't know. He is in favor of the abortion but I think he feels terrible about it. He offered to pay for it all. That was nice.
ReplyDeleteYou think him paying for your abortion is nice? HAHAHA
ReplyDeleteHe feels terrible about it? HAHAHA
Think about what you just said.
?
ReplyDeleteMost guys don't want babies at my age. I don't fucking want a baby.
Even if he begged me to keep it I don't think I would. I'd be tempted in a way but I know better than THAT
ReplyDeleteHe tried to love me...loved me in his own way I guess, still "loves" me...I realized he is just left out in the cold, trying to reach in. Had to hide his true identity because he is so pathetic nobody would want to even speak to him if they knew. It would be exhausting to have to act 24/7.
ReplyDeleteThat would be exhausting wouldn't it. I don't judge my husband, and he is himself around me, so while you as I said have the specialness of an ant to him, I am invaluable to Ukan. He can talk to me about who and what he is, and sometimes I call him a demon, or destructive, but he can be himself... and we grow. For example, he knows that anything he does has to be destructive in some way for humanity, so his new job is destructive, but for us its great. He's a destructive force, and i can understand that. He's part of the balance, and we balance each other.
I don't think that is nice, I think it is decent or expected. Don't you have any standards or self worth?
ReplyDeleteI never said to have the baby. If he is a socio he doesn't feel terrible. All those books never sunk in I guess.
ReplyDeleteOk, I know a lot of non sociopathic guys who are just like whatever, fuck you and fuck that. Anyway, he's been really great and supportive. FYI, I am special to him. What do you know missus? You're just spewing shot out your asshole. You might as well take my word if I'm forced to take yours, although I'm pretty sure you're as full as shit as you keep assuming I am. Everything accepts things at face value here. So take this at face value, too. I am special to him...perhaps his capacity to love is greatly impaired but as far as it does go I am loved in the way I can be.
ReplyDelete"He is in favor of the abortion but I think he feels terrible about it. He offered to pay for it all. That was nice."
ReplyDeleteMabye. Or mabye he just wants to offload the thing as soon as possible so he can be free of his responsibilities and perhaps free of you. I doubt things will go back to being the same after you've aborted it. What you've described so far sounds casual and this changes everything. He'll probably try to push the whole situation as far back in his memory as possible. It's not love for him thats keeping you in place though. Unhealthy people seek out unhealthy situations. Focusing on his flaws is just an excuse for ignoring your own.
Is he a sociopath then? I didn't expect him to be sensitive about the pregnancy, but he is.
ReplyDelete@mis
ReplyDeleteI've known him for over two years. We've been through an awful lot together. Whatever else he's my best friend and I don't really think that'll ever change
"Ok, I know a lot of non sociopathic guys who are just like whatever, fuck you and fuck that. Anyway, he's been really great and supportive"
ReplyDeleteHe isn't a sociopath.
socio boy sounds like some tortured romeo. hardly a callous sociopath. this guy sounds like the type that would beat you up, then feel terrible about it.
ReplyDeleteHe's not usually sensitive but he was sensitive about the pregnancy, I guess that makes me wonder if he really might not be sociopathic after all. As you said. I was suprised.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you say BB. He is your bestest friend and you are special. Now that we cleared that up, I guess you have no reason to be here.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about a Romeo, though, lol, that's a little much
ReplyDelete"Whatever else he's my best friend and I don't really think that'll ever change"
ReplyDeleteYeah because ex's do tend to remain the best of friends after the break up. How long were you friends for before you started fucking eachother?
I fund sociopathy fascinating regardless of whether my love interest turns out to be a sociopath, he just got me interested in the subject.
ReplyDeleteBluebird, when you first said he was being sweet as hell you said you knew it was because of the abortion. Now you just don't know.
ReplyDeleteWhat you sound like is someone who knows someone is hurting you badly, by your own admission, but you can't do anything about it because you can't face your emotions, also by your own admission. Its because you can't face and control your emotions that I think you are going to have this kid. And youre selling it to yourself like its invaluable that your following your emotions, like that's going to be the best decision for your life.
Right now in your life, everything feels special, and i can understand that as I was also idealistic in high school, but trust me, you need to get away from this guy before your emotions make you make dumber and dumber to the point where he can make you believe he loves you, as he's already starting to do. That deep down thing is your logic telling you you're going to be in a lot of pain soon. Listen to it. It will not stear you as wrong as what you are listening to.
How long were we friends? Close to two years. So it was maybe a couple months ago that we started sexing hahah
ReplyDeleteNo Kanny, miss said that could be the reason and I conceded the possibility. I really have no fucking clue with that guy. There really always has been something interesting between us. Eventually I'll move on. And I'm not keeping the kid.
ReplyDeleteAnd the special comment was not about you, although you aren't special to him, either.
ReplyDeleteyes, bluebird. You said in the beginning, "I know its because I'm pregnant" but what you know is getting a lot less black and white and a lot more gray.
ReplyDeleteYeah, it's true, all I know is grey. Everything is grey, we love in grey. There are so few things in this world that are black and white and beginning to realize how foolish it is to put things in those terms. Please quote that to me, pretty sure I said, maybe it's the pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteI meant we live in grey. It's my favorite cor. It's a thought disorder to see everything in black and white. Reality, unfortunately, is rarely so clean cut, so simple as that.
ReplyDeletei smell gas
ReplyDeleteYoure probably right, maybe he'll hurt me, but I won't stop being his friend. I don't want to cut him out of my life because he's a huge part of my social circle and I can't stop feeling for him so where does that leave me? Exactly where I am, obviously. There's no way around it so I'm choosing to just accept it.
ReplyDeleteSeeing things in black and white doesn't necessarily makes things easier. Often it just makes things more volatile. I'm told grey is better.
ReplyDeleteYour emotions are cloud in, or graying, your mind. You also said in the beginning you know you don't want it but you say stuff like it'd be great to have his kid and a different husband... it'd be super awesome to unload your mistakes on your future relationships. That sounds selfish. See black and white.
ReplyDeleteFriends with exes... doesn't work but rarely, and only then after a fair amount of time has passed. Usually by that time the moment is gone.
ReplyDeleteOh, but I forgot, you are a speshul case.
let me tell you a secret his tried to get across to you... men and women are not friends, as you can see from the kid in your tummy.
ReplyDeleteWe've always been what we are though, medusa. Were not really together, but he's not into anyone else right now. He knows I love him and sometimes I really do believe he loves me too. He's always been my friend, and the sex is recent but it hasn't changed what we mean to each other. It's always sort of been this odd thing so there's nothing to break off and make us ex's. Since it doesn't really fall in any particular category I don't see us ever becoming exes, we're always just going to be really close friends.
ReplyDelete*mis, not his. My tablet corrects it.
ReplyDeleteLol. We're back to sometimes with the loving. You don't believe he loves you! How are we supposed to?
ReplyDeleteWell Kanney we are friends. Sometimes we have sex. Also, sometimes I hook up with other people in my social circle, both girls and boys. It's socially incestuous, we're all just really close. Wierd maybe but I don't care in particular.
ReplyDeleteI do but I feel I shouldn't so I'm back and forth on whether loves me. It's like I've always known he loves me but it's a strange love, and sometimes I don't believe it and sometimes I'm certain, it really depends.
ReplyDeleteIf he loved you he'd be with you. He'd call you his girlfriend. He's not, and doesn't need to, because he's already got his cake and is eating it, all nom nom nom.
ReplyDeleteAnd sex changes friendships. Forever. You will learn this eventually. You cannot go backwards.
You are a mistress. That is all.
And he WILL be into someone else at some point. I wonder if you'll still hold on to your existential go-with-the-flow-of-the-universe, idealistically deluded vision of what love is when that happens.
ReplyDeleteThat isn't actually weird, that's typical again. You still aren't special.
ReplyDeleteAnd i have to agree with medusa on everything on this one. Youdont go back to being friends. You're fuck buddies. That's it. Before you were young, now your fuck buddies, then he'll be gone forever. Period.
If he or you loved each other, you'd be with each other. You don't and you aren't.
But I like sex with him. It's true he won't commit so perhaps it de facto cannotbe substantial, but I still believe he loves me. Since he's kind of insane I don't measure him to the standards that you'd measure normal people by. A few of the most important girls in his life he hasn't dated. He can't commit and has related to me that deep down he DOESN'T understand commitment, wanting to be with a person, caring, that sort of thing. But the same night he held me and told me he loved me and didn't I always know that? And the way he looked at me was so very serious and intense that I couldn't doubt him. Is that naive? I guess, but...i don't know. He's insane, I don't really judge him normally. After he's opened up to me so much I'm not sure what I think about him-it's VERY grey
ReplyDeleteKanney if you honestly believe this one of his best friends is a girl that he used to have sex with and never dated. They are still extremely important to each other but now she's moved on and moved away and has a boyfriend. they don't fuck. But she's still a very important part of his life, vice versa. So think you guys are being a little close minded.
ReplyDeleteThat is naive. He's getting laid, and he loves it.
ReplyDeleteYou're getting laid and you love it. The sooner you take all this extra emotional shit off of that the better. It isn't gray, it really is just thatthe two of you are fucking each other... and others. It isn't this deep social complex unique network you have, you're just young, sexual people. You're "discovering yourselves" and many a million have done the same before you, and thought it was more. And i still don't believe he's a sociopath, I think he just has issues and doesnt want to be sensitive cause he thinks its weak. I picture him as a Hispanic.
So what he calls her all the time? Than she must have an open relationship with her boyfriend, and if she doesnt she will.
ReplyDeleteWell it sounds like one day you just got bored of being "friends" and started screwing eachother right?. There's nothing serious about this relationship and you don't love him even if you think you do. You said yourself that you were ready to leave him at the drop of a hat for some other guy in your class. And now it's some big fucking orgy with everyone you know? Do you want to know why he doesn't care about you doing that? It's because he doesn't care about you. Shit how do you even know the baby is his? You're confusing sex with feelings. Mabye you think it means something but I can tell you that for teenaged boys its all conquest.
ReplyDeleteI know that you think you have the world figured out, and its cute, really, but at some point you're going to see that you are the one who is wrong. At least I hope you do. I suppose some hippies never grow up to find value in their lives. But I like to hope you will.
ReplyDeleteOk. He does fit hares checklist to a T but your correct perhaps he's not a sociopath. In that case I'm a little more certain that he might be capable of genuinely loving me though. So whatever. I don't know why you're trying to get a mental picture of him. It really doesn't make a difference. Deep down maybe he is kinda sensitive. Very confused, beautiful with music, doesn't really understand people. I'm too dramatic to dispense with the emotionality and why should I? It's flavorful.
ReplyDeleteI've only fucked him though mis. Ive done some other things with friends here and there but nothing particularly serious...you guys are making it so sexual, you don't get it, the sexual stuff only happens because we're all such emotional people, really. I don't talk about that stuff with him. It doesn't matter, you're right at my age people are sexual but to me it doesn't really have all that much to do with the extent to which we care about each other. He's not all that sexual-does that surprise you? He's not all that crazy about sex-he gets horny, but it's kind of something on the back burner for him.
ReplyDelete@missus
ReplyDeleteIs it so hard for you to believe people can care about each other without sex being involved? Jesus, you are emotionally retarded. No wonder I'm so sure your UKan. Look. He and my friend mean a lot to each other because they shared a lot of experiences and value each other a lot. It's emotional. It had nothing to do with their sex and whether they are still having it, they're not, but they are still valuable to each other. You just can't wrap your freaking head around that can you missus? That people can care for each other, no longer be engaged in sexual activities. And would want to remain in each others life because that person is important. You just can't understand that it has nothing to do with the sex anymore and something is STILL there. But what could it be, you wonder? You will never know.
sigh, you're so typical. We've met so many hippies exactly like you. Its all just easier this way, not to have to really care about anything, and just get all your needs taken care of, but what you don't get is that you have no depth, but you go around masqueerading all this feely stuff like it gives you more depth. Your trite, incomplex, and ununique. You aren't special. Special is something people earn. And you'll never earn it because you celebrate your mediocrity.
ReplyDeleteIs it so hard for you to believe people can care about each other without sex being involved?
ReplyDeleteSex IS involved. And watch when it isn't how much you care about each other.
The Cult of Love is pervasive, seductive and totally full of crap. Actual love is simple. It's chemical obsession, and it's purpose is for two people to procreate and stay interested with each other long enough for a kid to pop out and not die right away.
ReplyDeleteCan I become obsessed with a sexual partner and do crazy stupid things for them? Yes. I had a partner who once that was just as crazy, if not more than me in her own ways, and it was fantastic. Just one big chaotic roller coaster for a couple years. Did I ever put her before me? No. Did I ever prioritize her wants and needs over me? No. Would I have taken a bullet for her? Hell no. Did I ever feel bad for her when she was hurt and sick, did I ever inherently feel attached to her, and was I crushed when it was all over? Nope.
The Cult of Love says you need to be these insanse, self-sacrificing and melodramatic Guinevere and Lancelots when in reality if both of you bothered to take care of each other first, most of your problems wouldn't exist. Taking care of number one doesn't necessitate ignoring number two.
Sensitive is just another word for self-involved.
ReplyDeleteWhen people are emotionally retarded, they are usually extremely smart in another area.
ReplyDeleteBut that was my entire point. S and him are BEST friends, once had sex, don't anymore, and are STILL best friends. That's the example I'm trying to give you to explain my point. Look, there is mutual affection and caring without sex. I know for a fact there is no sex, and i know for a fact they are very important to each other. Just like he will always be important to ms and I to him regardless of sex, but since you are actually UKan and a sociopath, you can't make any sense of this.
ReplyDeleteReally, Bluebird, who are you trying to convince? The people here? Or yourself?
ReplyDeleteLove does not need convincing... or have anything to prove, like you do.
The part that you don't understand is how selfish and unfair it is of her to do to her boyfriend. Men get jealous when they care, and if he doesn't get jealous, he will when she cheats on him. There are reasons in the world for the patterns people have. If they cared for each other theyd be fair to each other, or they have an open relationship so it doesn't matter anyways. Because what she's doing to her boyfriend by talking to someone she has feelings for is fucked up. It puts her in a situation where shes likely to cheat on him. And from that I gather he's too weak and she in control in the relationship... right?
ReplyDeleteTNP, I know it's just chemical infatuation. Unfortunately mine hasn't gone away yet.
ReplyDeleteOoooh OK. You don't tell him about your friends eating your pussy every sunday because "it doesn't matter". See I'm thinking that mabye you dont tell him because you think it might just piss him off a little bit? And your mates only play with you because you just love so much they cant think of another way to express it? Yeah not at all because their horny and you're always up for it. Always.
ReplyDelete"He's not all that sexual"
Well of course. Thats why you're pregnant. ~
I though YOU and him were 'best friends'!
ReplyDeleteJeebus, you change your story with every post.
*they just love
ReplyDeleteIf I didn't want to argue I wouldn't be here medusa. I guess all I want to do is sit here and argue, I don't know why, maybe because otherwise I just sit in my own head and get bored. Its cool to have to defend yourself. I could just leave if I didn't want to have to...but then what? Stuck. I could keep going this way. If I'm not being sensible medusa, then explain to me what I've said that doesn't make sense? You're so focused on throwing out everything I say that you aren't listening to any of my points.
ReplyDeleteMissus, it's not sexual. Her boyfriend doesn't have to feel threatened. Anyway, people aren't allowed to have opposite sex friends while dating? Wow, glad I'm not with your dude.
You're all so self centered its hilarious. You don't love each other, you enjoy each other. Stop trying to make it more than it is.
ReplyDeleteI'm also his best friend. I have a few best friends. Everybody should. You guys don't? Sucks.
ReplyDeleteMissus you are too emotionally stunted to understand there are relationships in the world that aren't centered around using people and enjoying them. Seriously. You don't get it at all. Sometimes people just care about each other. Period.
ReplyDeleteI hear everything you are saying. We've all been there when we were teenagers. Many of I'm sure have tried using the same justifications and rationalizations. You are saying nothing new under the sun. Your relationship is not 'strange' or in any way special or different, it's just... being in college.
ReplyDeleteHow is it a 19 year old can come in here and tell everyone who has way more experience and many years and relationships on her that they have no idea what they are talking about?
ReplyDeleteLol. Its a thing you do when you care about people... you know, not hang around with people you like, and or know you have sexual chemistry with. You're supposed to think, maybe this will lead to something sexual, and say, not talk to them. You can have friends of the opposite sex... but not people you'd fuck, or have fucked.
ReplyDeleteI know that sounds crazy to you what with your free love, butthats because you don't care aboutanyone.
I didn't say you don't know what you're talking about. You're right of course about most of it. But not about mutual caring among friends who have had sex in the past-saying that doesn't happen doesn't accord with my experience of reality.
ReplyDeleteFucking spam filter. Comment wasn't even that long.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, my point is, love is a simple solitary thing. It's not compassion, or attachment, or self-sacrifice, or being altruistic. Those things usually come with love to some degree, but they're often fleeting, like love itself.
Several diagnosed and undiagnosed Psychopaths/Sociopaths here have claimed to have been in love one time or another. For me, it has only happened once, and I've been in a few long-term relationships. Maybe it's just difficult/rare.
Right, Medusa? Seriously! Like we've never been anywhere.
ReplyDeleteAnd she isnt even confident about it. She knows he doesn't love her, and should just say she doesn't love him, cause she all but came out with it already!
@missus
ReplyDeleteThat's sounds extremely lame. I'm glad I live in my "crazyyy kiddie world". Seriously? That's what you think is sane and normal? Maybe I'm only 19, but somehow this sounds very odd to me, hmmmmmmm
But not about mutual caring among friends who have had sex in the past-saying that doesn't happen doesn't accord with my experience of reality.
ReplyDeleteExactly. You are a teenager. You don't have much experience.
Not to mention that your version of said 'reality' is slightly questionable...
You don't get it at all.
ReplyDelete=
You don't know what you're talking about.
Love is what people do when they need or want children, yes, but its also what people find when they cannot grow further on their own. We need relationships in which people know us so we can't lie to them, and they force us to grow, and because people seek self actualization, people seek love. Its an immeasurable comraderie, and has little to do with sex or infatuation, which is why we know you arent in love, little blue.
ReplyDeleteYou arent even complex enough for the details of you life not to be transparent. Anyone can see who you are and help you at this point. When you become special come back and talk to us.
I love him a lot, pretty sure I never contradicted that. I've said I'll move on at some point but that's realism. He lobes me too, but I'd never say what another person feels with 100% confidence. But when he looks at me and says he loves me, it's powerful enough I can't doubt the sincerity, at least when he says it.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, my point is, love is a simple solitary thing. It's not compassion, or attachment, or self-sacrifice, or being altruistic. Those things usually come with love to some degree, but they're often fleeting, like love itself.
ReplyDeleteYou've got it exactly backwards, babe.
You are talking about the socio version of love.
@medusa
ReplyDeleteHow can you say I don't know what I'm talking about? People don't have meaningful nonsexual relationships after having sex? Maybe you don't know the right people. I could have come on here and said nothing of my age or my experiences, and perhaps you'd be willing to consider and integrate one piece of information that comes under my handle and appears on your screen. But, alas, you accord more ethos to missus-where does this credibility come from again? If you stopped thinking about who was more credible and vied for sheer reason alone perhaps you wouldn't be so willing to discount me and credit her despite the evident fact that emotionality and human relationships are NOT her strong suit at ALL.
Regardless of "experience" (and the fact she's UKan)
Come ON medusa.
Neuroscientists, evolutionary psychologists and 'regular' psychologists can't even agree on what love is, so it's awfully presumptuous for you to assume you are experiencing one emotion without the others, as if they Have to be this packaged deal.
ReplyDeleteSo what, that's 'socio love'? Because from the people who have come by here with RAD, NPD and BPD all seem to have the same problems in the love department.
My point is that you Don't know what love is in it's exclusivity, because you, yes You, probably can't experience it without that rest of the baggage.
Neuroscientists, evolutionary psychologists and 'regular' psychologists can't even agree on what love is, so it's awfully presumptuous for you to assume you are experiencing one emotion without the others, as if they Have to be this packaged deal.
ReplyDeleteSo what, that's 'socio love'? Because from the people who have come by here with RAD, NPD and BPD all seem to have the same problems in the love department.
My point is that you Don't know what love is in it's exclusivity, because you, yes You, probably can't experience it without that rest of the baggage.
Lol. Oh blue.
ReplyDeleteYour subconcious is against you because any time you try to say I'm in love or he's in love you have to add an explicative. Like sometimes, but, maybe, etc. You contradict yourself all over, not to mention your general defensiveness. We're actually getting bored of telling you how dumb you are. But you just won't stop trying to prove to all of us why socioboy, you and all your friends are special. Don't the people in your life think your super?go prove it to them if you can't aspire for yourself to actaully be special. It isnt us who you have to prove it to, its you.
I wasn't saying that, I was translating what you said, because you said that we don't 'get it'.
ReplyDeleteI made one sardonic sarcastic statement about special snowflakes because I thought it would make someone laugh and look how seriously everyone has taken me? Fucking ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteI have a pregnancy story for you from a sociopath's point of view if you're interested, sometime.
ReplyDeleteWell let me clear the record, please. I don't think I am special or anyone else I know is special. Actually, I don't give a shit who is or isn't special. It has no relevance to me, or my life, or understanding myself, or anything at all, and I don't know why you're all seizing this. Please. I don't think I'm fucking special.
ReplyDeleteI am interested TNP, for certain
ReplyDeleteI'm TNP's new fan!!
ReplyDeleteThat was a joke? I thought I was special :(
ReplyDeleteAlright, blue, I am a completely emotional person. I used to believe in that legitimacy in the emotional context, and i put a very high level of significance on emotions. And i would follow my emotions to an unreasonable degree. Now, I've been places because of my emotions that I can see not only their legitimacy, but their tendancy to misguide me. See shaman ex.
ReplyDeleteYou have to learn not to always act on your emotions. They're not a leader, they're a personal enhancement to your life. Following them is what makes people addicts, losers, miserable, and foolish, as you are being. And if you said you were 30 something I'd just think you were ami and none of us would have any hope for you.
glad to see anon that you are stepping up your standards.
ReplyDeleteit's awfully presumptuous for you to assume you are experiencing one emotion without the others, as if they Have to be this packaged deal
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, compassion, self-sacrifice, and altruism are not emotions. They are actions.
And, in my mind, so is love. It is not a feeling. It comes with feelings (or chemicals, if you will), but it's not a feeling in and of itself.
It only exists between two things. Not in one thing alone. Therefore I disagree with your opinion that "love is a simple solitary thing."
Therefore, real love cannot go one way. Unrequited love is not love at all. It's a creation between two. Same as you need two people to get a baby.
And since it is between two entities, all that shit like altruism and self-sacrifice are inevitable. Even for a sociopath, if you plan on being committed to someone.
I called your stuff a "socio version" because you are just talking about your whims. Not love.
Lol. Now she doesn't think she's special and she was kidding the whole time when she was arguing it emphatically. Oh well now she seems much more deep. We all totally misjudged her.
ReplyDeleteNo you wouldn't. Because I wouldn't tell you about socio boy if I said I was 30. Instead of being open, like I am, o would just never confide and maintain the illusion that I'm wiser and more infallible than I actually am.
ReplyDelete@missus
ReplyDeleteYou're fucking stupid. Go find me a statement where I ever say I think I'm special. I haven't once. You thought it up all on your own and have been flinging it at me ever since. All you read was me trying to say something witty in jest which you interpreted as some kind of narcissistic self perception. Pretty annoying.
I made one sardonic sarcastic statement about special snowflakes because I thought it would make someone laugh and look how seriously everyone has taken me?
ReplyDeleteIt's not that, it's every other sentence you write. "We're all weirder, stranger, more different, more emotional, more sensitive, more close, more intimate than everyone and you just don't get it!"
You are all theory, girl. It's like you've been researching relationships and all this stuff, so logically you know what's right, but you don't really believe it because you haven't really experienced it yet, not so that you know it in your bones. You aren't ready to connect theory with experience and reality. You've got a vast gap going on between the two.
Talking to you reminds me of reading my old college journals. Everything in there was brilliant, and is still brilliant, except when I start talking about boys. Cringe-inducing when I read it now.
That's a valid point Medusa.
ReplyDeleteLovehas an ability to create things out of people that were not there. And with the feelings of love, there is a pull and sort of stifling that comes with a need for yourself. When you are strong enoughinyourself, love between strong people is a creative venture, when you have two weak people it is them ravenously trying to take from the other to pull themselves up. By weak I should specify undeveloped. You have to grow as much as you can by yourself before you can ever fall in love or you won't be able to bring anything to the entity.
And when you have grown as much as you can, love makes new things possible. Not emotionally, but literally. You find someone to know you and to show you new capabilities for yourself.
Wow guys. This is getting amusingly deep for a sociopath blog. I think you should just leave Bluebird to learn things for herself. TNP, I think you're half right. Things like compassion and altruism when associated with feelings of love can last a lifetime, that I know. I think this is all quite amusing though. Carry on.
ReplyDeleteWhy dont you just pretend like you're not getting an abortion for a while and see how he reacts? Then you can find out just how much he really loves you.
ReplyDeleteif i had to id say we struck a nerve.
ReplyDeleteThey're not a leader, they're a personal enhancement to your life.
ReplyDeleteExactly. Emotions are companions, not bosses.
If I'm stuck with it than fine. Hell, I'm special. I'm wierd. I'm crazy. Whatever. If you think it's not true no skin off my back.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to tell me that's what I believe, than sure. Ok. I'm frigging special.
ReplyDeleteI knocked up a girlfriend a few years ago. I liked her a lot. She was like one of the guys, we could do anything together from sports to, whatever. But it was more like she was a friend I fucked than a girlfriend. I still called her my girlfriend, but there was never this assumption of falling in love or being long-term, and as much fun as we had, I don't think either of us fell in love due to our 'emotional problems'.
ReplyDeleteWe broke up before I moved to another part of the States for a job I got. I found out a few weeks later she was pregnant. I had seen this scene a hundred times in books, movies, tv shows, whatever, so I knew what Not to do/say, so I asked her, "What do you want to do?"
Pro Tips when you find out you knocked your girl/ex up:
1. Never directly say abortion when it's still a question of what to do
2. Never assume they want you to raise the child if they're keeping it
3. Never assume they want to marry you to avoid shame/religious issues
4. Never assume you have a say in it. You can press for/against the abortion, but she gets to make the choice in the end
Anyway, back to the story. With that simple vague question, I found out that she wanted to keep the child, she didn't love me and didn't want to get married, and was fine with me doing child support.
All I asked was one question.
Me on the other hand, I had my own plans. I had no children before. One of my few hopes or goals in life is having a child that I can actually raise. I don't know why, but I do. At least one. So this was important to me, even though I wanted her to get an abortion because I wasn't going to be some child support daddy. So I decided that I would move back and help her raise our child. Not because I loved her, or this fetus, or sense of duty, but because I really want to be a father. It took a while to come to that conclusion after weighing the pros and cons, but by the time I was getting ready to come back, she calls me in tears. She's flipping out and yelling and sobbing. When she finally calms down, she told me she miscarried.
I calmed her down, and we haven't talked about it since, even though we still talk on occasion. I personally didn't feel anything. Not disappointment, not sadness, just complete indifference. If anything, that miscarriage was one little miracle snuffing out another.
I still want to be a dad someday, though.
Bluebird said... LOL
ReplyDeletePlease don't get me started on you born agains, ok? I'll laugh too hard. Blind ignorant fanatism based on faith alone. Dogmatism. Don't try to argue with these people, guys. It's SO pointless. People who are so obsessed with adhering to religious tenants are not swayed by reason or logic: that defies the very purpose of their faith.
I thought this was pretty funny. She seems a bit dogmatic, doesn't she?
Whatever. If you think it's not true no skin off my back.
ReplyDeleteBut apparently it is. Yer panties are all bunched up.
I see you every other comment trying to say the right things, the wise things, the open-minded things, or stuff like "I know your right, but...", but I don't think you believe them. It's more like you want those attributes (wise, smart, open-minded, can take criticism) more than you actually believe half the stuff you are telling us.
But if I was stranger, weirder, or more special, how would you know? I can't tell you that I am and expect you to believe me and you can't tell me I'm not and have any basis for being right. You have no idea if I'm special or not, that's why it's irrelevant on the Internet. Neither of us have any basis for saying either way. I couldn't credit it fairly but neither could you deny it fairly medusa. We are nothing more than text on a screen to each other-why make further assumptions? That's a little unreasonable.
ReplyDeleteUh BB it must hurt to constantly bang your head on the same wall over and over.
ReplyDeleteActually we can all tell very easily how special you are not. You think we have to know your past? Everyone here can see through your present, and we can see more clearly than most things we know about you that you are not the special snowflake you are trying so desperately to be. Perhaps someday, little blue.
ReplyDeleteI'm just trying to respond to your arguments in a way you might get it-I'm not trying to come off some way, my approach would be far different were that the case. Swear to you, I want nothing more than to be understood, but you all only want me to admit to being a stupid inexperienced girl in love who is narcissistic and being manipulated, because that's the only reality you are willing to accept.
ReplyDeleteBluebird, I'm just going by what you said about yourself! YOU are the one who said you and all your friends are so strange, sensitive, emotional, artsy, etc...
ReplyDeleteI think notme is correct though; you just needs to be left to learn by experience, it seems.
Because right now you are looking nuts, not even because of your beliefs (or naivety), but because you keep contradicting them after being criticized for them.
Why do you need to be understood so badly? Don't you see we do understand you?
ReplyDeleteWhat you really want is for the truth to be different, so perhaps you should stop talking and introspect.
You are getting tedious and i do agree as well that only experience at this point is going to help you. Relate to your friends, as you cannot relate to us yet.
We, anonymi, speaking for myself, only, like TNP.
ReplyDeleteYou're totally, like, making fun, of my, comma usage, aren't you?
ReplyDelete:(, *cries*
Can I have a fan?
ReplyDeleteI have noticed anon 50 that you always abuse the use of commas just like Frank and Jason.
ReplyDeleteThe person with the Yoda syntax plus the comma problem is not TNP...
ReplyDeleteLol. Who is the person with yoda syntax? Do tell
ReplyDeleteIt's Nikita, obviously ;)
ReplyDeleteMedusa, why did you pick the name Medusa?
ReplyDeleteWhich one is Nikita?
ReplyDeleteChildhood nickname.
ReplyDelete