I thought this comment from UKan from a while ago was interesting, worth its own post:One thing I hated about growing up with a narcissistic father is that he was very hard to predict because he didn't always act rationally (i.e., in his own best interest). Empaths can be this way too, if they get very emotional about things.I get in constant conflicts with narcisssists in real life. Around when I first came here I asked as a anonymous about a situation I had with someone and what kind of person they were. It was some guy who was pathologically lying to make himself look like some rockstar. This type of person is what my father is, and what almost every enemy I have ever had is. At the time I was ignorant of psychological terms. I knew the outline like I know many others, but I call them something else.I don't like narcissists because they are costly in my business. They refuse to quit, because it's not about business for them. It's all about how they look and what their appearance is. They lie not to get out of trouble, con someone, or play games with people. They pathologically lie about who they are so that they add color to their drab life. So that they add worth to their pointless existence. Like my business partner with his fake rolex watch, or his car that 'looks like a bmw'. Or this guy who sat down next to me on my couch at the club and started giving me lip about how much of a big shot he was not knowing who I was. I can name them all day long. I despise their weakness. It disgusts me because even though nobody else can see it, I can. I can see the weakness and self loathing in every action they do. They constantly need validation and that's the main give away. They also for some reason always envy me while at the same time trying to be me which is even more ridiculous because to everyone else they spew nothing but hatred for me.***As far as victims are concerned, well they are easy. I'm drawn to them like a bee to honey. I'm always looking for a weakness. If that's all you display then the rest is a fucking cake walk.
But I guess sociopaths would also seem unpredictable to a lot of people too. Maybe it's just because I'm used to my own mind that I find myself to be relatively straightforward. Plus, I like to think that I can be reasoned with, almost without exception. I have no problems setting hard feelings aside, for instance by allying with a former enemy, if I find it beneficial to do so in a particular situation. Or maybe I choose to destroy them completely in their hour of need because I'm tired of dealing with them? Either way, I like to think that most of my decisions are based on catering to my own self-interest, with a sprinkling of impulsive acts aimed at violence, swift retribution, or some other compulsion.
I don't know. I guess I don't think sociopaths are much better about this, but at least we seem more consistent than those ruled by their emotions.
I actually remember that. Everything that guy said was a lie to make him feel big. He was trying to be a sociopath, like it was cool. He had all these flocks of idiots that knew him for no more than a week or two, and they were weak, ugly and broken. One guys face actually looked like an acid trip, and he was some scrawny crazy kid who had been in an asylum of some kind or something. Or his stripper failure girlfriend (She was not a stripper but an aspiring one, she was way too ugly). The pathological guy was a flamboyant show spewing craziness like an I'll conceived novel. He talked about the company he owned, and how he flew over the world.
ReplyDeleteHe's actually similar to the con artist who said his wife was in trouble with the Asian Mafia for gambling problems. He had story after too good to be true story. They were amusing stories, but when it breaks down to it, they're all just a lie. A lie they sing to make up for how much of a failure they really are. They try to spin who they are to themselves, and others, and try to tell themselves they really do like themselves, because they really do want to believe what they're telling you.
I like to think that most of my decisions are based on catering to my own self-interest, with a sprinkling of impulsive acts aimed at violence, swift retribution, or some other compulsion.
ReplyDelete"Some other compulsion" is what makes most people a mystery. No one (except for a sociopath, maybe) is going to outright tell you what their compulsion might be.
Some things are best kept private. I don't believe anyone can truly really know what drives anyone else.
Even if they tell you, life has a way of turning you on your heels, compulsions change, people come and go, etc.
There is really something to be said for consistency. For the most part, Ukan is right, and you need to believe a person when they tell you things. But all people go through phases.
I've learned not to question why people do things they do anymore.
If a person wins the lottery, say, their world view may become vastly different. If a person has a child, their whole way of looking at the world can change
Perhaps I am naive at this moment in time. But if I don't give myself the same amount of leeway I give others what can that be saying about me?
They try to spin who they are to themselves, and others, and try to tell themselves they really do like themselves, because they really do want to believe what they're telling you.
ReplyDeleteI think delusional thinking is a defense mechanism. You have to be very brave to face the lies you tell yourself.
Just seeing this from yesterday.
ReplyDeleteUKan Sandman said...
That's why it's better to have goals than dreams. You have to sleep to dream.
I really like this.
"A culture of hope" someone talked about here a long time ago.
Everything is related. Themes do take over a bunch of behavior in some people's lives.
Part I:
ReplyDeleteThere are only a few people I've dealt with in life besides my father that I can say in confidence were true pathological Narcissists. This is what bugs me greatly: their pride. It's almost... Toxic. Like seeming right or superior, or whatever the fuck they're striving for is more important than their own well being. Shit, don't even throw other people into the equation, their kids included :p
I lost count how many jobs my old man either quit or got fired from because of his pride, or how many people he cut off without a second thought, family included, just because they crossed him or his ideals.
One seemingly innocuous, or possibly even truly innocuous thing someone might say can cause them to shut you out for good, or until they have a reason to deal with you. It's almost like they catastrophize things far beyond anything reasonable. That's part of the unpredictability, because sometimes they shrug major things off, but go off on unholy vendettas for something they made up in their own heads, causing complete befuddlment.
You never do this?
ReplyDeleteDon't you think a sociopath is also unpredictable, not to mention a person with bpd?
Part II:
ReplyDeleteThat unpredictability though, it drove me so crazy that I realized just how useful it was. However, I don't think I started using it myself until spending a while with my beeper. I saw how much she could effect those around her, completely oblivious to it, and I just started mimicking her ways.
It's probably one of the most handy tools in the box if people aren't used to it.
Seriously, blowing things way out of proportion to get your way when you have a reputation for being cool headed or reasonable really throws people off. It can also profoundly affect them, making them second guess themselves into a neurotic, confused state.
I think Narcissists are just so used to people not getting to know them well enough that this unwitting tactic only loses it's value when it's someone close, or someone used to it.
Did you look up to your beeper at times?
ReplyDeleteNo. But she was one of the few people that could almost always make me smile and laugh. She was by no stretch a saint, but there was something innately innocent about her that I adored. Maybe it was just part of her camouflage, but if it was, I'm not ashamed to admit she had me fooled, and for the better.
ReplyDeleteThe whole package just wasn't worth it, though.
This is FlawedDiamond, but i dont care to go thru the setup process or whatever but I HAD TO comment.
ReplyDeleteNarcs.. man I tell you they understand nothing but violence.
my bro (who's also a soc) dates one and they have knock down drag outs.. she has a story to top anything you've got. and calls herself FLAWLESS despite horrible stretch marks all over her body and a fucking hideous attitude that makes her the most disgusting creature I've ever met, even by narc standards.
my daughter has tendencies, but she also has socio tendencies, and Im rooting for the home team to just finish the job cause lord really does know her life will be much better (especially with a socio mom) if she was a socio.
being aware, I can help guide her through the confusing parts..
^Oh wow^... is it dinner time already?
ReplyDelete@blog
ReplyDeleteI remember this as well. I love how UKan was able to paint a narcissist's character, with total ease. I'm surprised that so many people here claim to know what they are like, but always paint a completely off picture of them. I think it has something to do with who they have a beef with at the time, and not the reality of the PD. I've noticed that the more emotional people here, let those emotions drive their opinions of someone, or certain topics that hit a sore spot for them.
I can't do that at all. For instance: The woman I hired to help me on Fridays, at my shop... I used to work for Her, back when she still owned her own salon. She lied to me to get me to work for her. Told me I'd be making a lot more money at her shop, than I was as a Chemical Specialist, at Visible Changes. I like her. She is rough around the edges, and pretty ignorant about the world for the Podunk town she grow up in, and she has a terrible memory... but I like her humor, and the way she views her world.
Everyone around me told me what a bitch they thought she was... and she pulled some two faced shit with me while I worked for her. Her shop was also going to shit because she incompetent when it comes to running a business. Working for her caused me some serious hardship, and I told her when I quit I didn't appreciate that she lied to me about how much money I'd making, knowing her shop was going down. We fought about it, and she was very prideful... but I never changed my opinion of her. When she came to me in need of a second job, I hired her right away . I knew she's work her ass off for me, and I'm sure it was a bit humbling that someone she screwed over, wold still hire her, and show her kindness.
My Point:
I see her as the average person. For the most part, every average person is two faced, and lie when they don't want to be hurt, or to hurt another. They make a lot of decisions based on how they feel, and they have trouble seeing things from a different point of view. So I don't hold it against them. I just don't take it personal, because they're harmless in the bigger picture.
But a narcissist...
There is something so revolting about the way they lie, and the faces they wear. It's pathetic beyond measure. The one I came to know, was no exception. Where ever he would go, something special would happen to him. If he went to a concert: The lead singer spotted him out of the whole audience, and said something to him.
If he went to a new bar: He met the mayor of the city, who was so impressed with him; he wanted to hire him to help run special operations...
You get the picture. Same as what UKan said.
It's their desperate need to be seen as the most special godlike creature over everyone, in all aspects of their lives; that makes them more loathsome of any average attention whore, or unpredictable beeper. I don't mind disordered people at all. I just can't stand someone who is so weak they have to make believe who they are, right down to the special way their shit is the only shit the doctors know of; that comes out smelling like strawberries.
I have been on Love Fraud. I have lurked on here. I have written on here, in a limited fashion.
ReplyDeleteMy answer as to WHY the sociopath does what he does is the story of the scorpion and the river.
He stings the frog( I think it was) at the end. He stings the frog with no remorse, no guilt, no shame.
That is the answer to the whys, the moans, the pain, the angst.
a narcissist i know is really into colon cleansing
ReplyDeleteFor the most part, every average person is two faced, and lie when they don't want to be hurt, or to hurt another.
ReplyDeleteYup.
As for the post, I was about 20 when I was introduced to my first out and out narcissist. She fits M.E./Ukan’s profile to a tee. She lied. All. The. Time. I didn’t understand why. I was confused because I couldn’t figure out what she had to gain from all that deception. As a result, I was blind to her for a few months. Eventually my "sight" was restored and I saw through her bullshit. She was the person who taught me that some people habitually lie to project and preserve a false image of themselves. I’m grateful to her for clueing me in to that fact.
@Monica
ReplyDeletethe scorpion is unable to reflect and exercise free will
The one I worked with for 11 years is female but had every story Eden told plus, sugery nurse, bomb squad, father was CIA, mother's family was Mafia evrything imaginable. She's either sicker/healthier, richer/poorer,but always more then anyone else.
ReplyDeleteToo bad she's become uglier then anyone else, doesn't admit to that.
She went after everyone she worked with behind our backs and it was all returned to her. She is now the biggest joke in the company, doing a job no one else would take just to stay working.
Now why would she need the job with all the experience she had?~
@Zoe
ReplyDeleteThat IS my larger point. With a PD such as ASPD or extreme Narc( as I believe there are degrees) the person cannot exercise free will, in any TRUE way. They may appear to. They may appear to have behaviors different than their PD. However, when you get them at home, in their natural setting and in their natural state, they do not have free will.
That is my point. Free will is circumscribed BY the PD.
If you don't have free will, you won't be different in any setting you're in. Controlling how people see you in one place over another, sounds like free will to me.
ReplyDeleteWe have to define free will, Eden. I think that a PD circumscribes "Free will" by definition. A PD is a locked in stance. That is my point.
ReplyDelete@Monica
ReplyDeleteYou have no free will. That is why no matter what name you go by here, or anon you hide under... you sound the same. Your disorder drives you, not the other way around. Not all PDs are like that. UKan may have limitations because of his PD, but he is still able to mold himself in whatever way will benefit his survival. That is free will.
But if you really want the definition:
1. The ability or discretion to choose; free choice: chose to remain behind of my own free will.
2. The power of making free choices that are unconstrained by external circumstances or by an agency such as fate or divine will.
i had dinner last night with a former colleague who is likely a narcissist, who i connect with every few months. she's the intellectual kind, so not drawn to the spot light.
ReplyDeletethe little pointless lies, entitlement, and verbal eviscerations are signals, but it's the one dimensional quality that's the dead give away. they're always exactly the same.
getting to know a narcissist is like watching the same re-run over and over again, instead of a series of sequels. it's easy to dismiss harmless lies and sniping as insecurity and moodiness, but that sameness about them, the mask, takes longer to see. which is a good reason to never rush into any relationship - at least with your heart. you just never know.
@Eden
ReplyDeletedead on
@Monica
ReplyDeletehow does an empath have free will when they a ruled by their conscience? what rules a sociopath other than his mind? everyone has varying needs for power over others.
i guess i see empath as a PD too. but socially accepted as the norm
ReplyDeleteIf you don't have free will, you won't be different in any setting you're in.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't have free will, you won't be different in any setting you're in.
If you don't have free will, you won't be different in any setting you're in.
If you don't have free will, you won't be different in any setting you're in.
If you don't have free will, you won't be different in any setting you're in.
If you don't have free will, you won't be different in any setting you're in.
:)
If you see empaths as disordered, than everyone is disordered, and there are no norms. If everyone is disordered, than everyone goes against nature. If everyone goes against nature, than everyone is nature. And if everyone is nature... there are no disordered people.
ReplyDelete@Zoe, I have to catch a plane. You have given me food for thought. I will think about what you said and try to respond, later.
ReplyDeletePeople don't admit stuff because they're prideful, Jane.
ReplyDeleteIt's a weakness. It's a jail.
I've held on to stuff for no good reason and I deluded myself into thinking I am strong for doing so, when it is a big waste of time.
I've gone out with jerks not admitting to myself they were jerks because I somehow deluded myself that I am better off with someone for their small good traits. I ignore the bigger picture sometimes out of pride or desperation to be loved I guess, or something pathetic.
It's been no picnic. I've held on to projects without following through with my potential and wondered why. It might be silly narcissistic pride.
It is so very difficult to get past being weak and not making lemonade when i see myself clear as day.
I try to do good, I try to get love but I don't love enough of myself to treat myself to what is in front of me. I deprive myself.
May I Ask people here who seem very knowledgable (and I am not sucking up to you. ) Does this or does this not seem like narcissism?
I get along with people in real life fine. I just do a bunch of stuff that does NOT propel my interests forward in a more good-to my-SELF self serving way.
that's what never felt right to me about the concept of a narcissist mask. mask implies that you put it on and take it off. they are the mask. there is no one to take it off. or what there is, just can't.
ReplyDeleteit makes me think of that clown in The Greatest Show on Earth who never takes his makeup off because he's hiding a desperate secret.
Eden Ralene said...
ReplyDeleteIf you see empaths as disordered, than everyone is disordered, and there are no norms. If everyone is disordered, than everyone goes against nature. If everyone goes against nature, than everyone is nature. And if everyone is nature... there are no disordered people.
yes!
@Monica
ReplyDeleteditto.
i have to catch life, before i run out of Saturday ..
@Bella
ReplyDeleteWe are not talking about being narcissistic. Everyone is to some degree, and sometimes it even serves for survival purposes. Example: when you get very ill and do everything to draw attention to you so you get the proper care.
We are talking about narcissism becoming a person. Not a person being narcissistic. I thought the examples given above, were glaringly obvious what the difference is.
Do you go around trying to convince everyone you are secretly dating a celebrity, have connection to the mafia, are chosen by God to see demons in people, or any other kind of extraordinary "specialness", that can influence the world, and the people around you?
No. You speak of needing to have people see you as strong. That is just a need to protect yourself from being taken advantage of. A narcissist will go out of there way to protect a grossly false image they have of themselves. They need to believe there is something about them that is beyond, or above, being human.
Yeah... no editing for me today! I'm just thumping it out without a care in the world... :D Hope the errors don't hurt the eyes of those who need all the words to be perfect.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest hallmark of malignant narcissism, is a complete lack of empathy. Not pathological lying. Psychopaths are pathological liars also, all manipulators are.
ReplyDeleteI see a psychopath as a darker more depraved narcissist. He has the same grandiosity, but he is willing to punish those that don't recognize it.
ReplyDeleteNothing has changed for me, I have had my hands full.
ReplyDeletei see it as a symptom not a hallmark.
ReplyDeletenarcissists are capable of empathy it's like a car that sits in the driveway and never gets driven because they are always doing something else that's more important.
not a great analogy but i'm off to get my hair done. nothing more important than that at the moment.. :)
Eden, is being with a woman better? What's it like? I want to try it. I'm physically attracted to men but not emotionally or mentally attracted to men...And vice versa for women...
ReplyDeleteI enjoy our play time very much
ReplyDelete"narcissists are capable of empathy"
ReplyDeleteVaknin disagrees. He knows more than you, considering he is an actual full blown narcissist.
I wonder if there was an easier way we could talk because I do want what is right in front of me
ReplyDeleteMy best friend was a pathological liar in collage. I hated her most of the time and never trusted her during school. She was extremely condescending, patronizing, snobby.
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't lie pathologically anymore, and she's a pretty generous person, but I still often wonder why I am still friends with her. She's been complaining about the same stuff for decades now and I can't tolerate it anymore. I used to do the complaining with her, too, and that's partially why it worked (woe is us, we be special snowflakes, the world doesn't get us, we are genius), but now I'm over it and she's still there.
Her sense of entitlement drives me crazy. Last time I talked to her she was telling me how she 'deserves' to be a rockstar simply because she spent years doing a job that had nothing to do with music, and in her mind because of that she has paid her dues. Forget about actually WORKING towards being a professional musician in any realistic way, I mean fuck, she won't even work on music if her environment isn't just fucking perfect, with glow in the dark birds in just the right places, and a window view with certain kinds of trees...etc. Her jealousy of people who got famous/successful from school is gross. She has it in her head that they have perfect ideal lives and she's resentful of it, and she doesn't understand how her and them all came from the same place, yet here she is programming some failed iphone app that she spent way too long making to the point where what she is making has become almost obsolete, while our classmates are out making babies with Jennifer Aniston or some shit. It's not fair! She gets resentful of my own musical endeavors quite often. This is a girl who is proud of the fact that she gets "high narcissism" after taking a personality test.
I was sleep deprived and so not as diplomatic as usual and basically told her straight out that her entitlement was annoying and I can't tolerate the complaining anymore unless she is also going to take action and stop making excuses. But everything is "but!" or "what if!" with her. Her life is guided by fear and I don't want to be around people like that anymore.
We haven't spoken since and I barely care.
why do people here get turned off when they get called a narcissist? isn't that a compliment?
ReplyDeleteMedusa, where you beginning to walk on eggshells around her? Due to her sensitivity to criticism.
ReplyDeleteI think that story is about you Medusa. There is no friend.
ReplyDeleteYes, anon, I guess I do. I never thought of it that way before, though.
ReplyDeleteOur relationship works best long distance, which it has been for the most part. Something about the way her presence steals all the air in the room (and not in a good way) makes me very irritable with her. It used to get to the point of me throwing trash cans and shoes at her, or just telling her to "get the fuck out" but I was pretty young then.
She keeps getting upset because I don't think her boyfriend is attractive (she asked what I thought like a million times). It's really weird how upset she gets over that. I mean, who cares?
Pathological liars often use other people to speak about themselves. Like what Medusa is doing. They are skilled.
ReplyDeleteWeak people hide under an anon to speak about others. They are not skilled.
ReplyDeleteMedusa has to take up all the air in the room.
ReplyDeleteA pathological liar would go onto a forum and ask something like "is my girlfriend a narcissist/ex husband etc" then he/she would type out all their own behaviors. This way the liar won't get called out, but he/she still gets an answer. They also get gratification from tricking people with this ploy.
ReplyDeleteThe wife beater says to his psychologist - What do you think of wife beaters, I think their disgusting. Just to get an answer.
Anon 10:18 lol
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be surprised if most of those users on lovefraud who are bashing their exes are the real abusers.
ReplyDeleteNo, the Love Fraud people are real.
ReplyDeleteyou know where i am at, find me at 2012, its not my username if you want
ReplyDeleteenter alias 2012 ;)
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of this video that M.E posted a while back. Notice how the host says 'I think manipulators are cowards' so they audience will say 'He can't be a manipulator cause he's saying they are cowards' Pathological liars are skilled.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVb1xKGibBA
I have a minute to get on my lap top.
ReplyDeleteZoe, I think that PD's are "merely" stuck parts of the normal spectrum. However, they ARE stuck. By definition, there is not "free will" when a person cannot go beyond the bounds of PD's limitations. Perhaps, we have all gotten in to semantics, at this point, too.
"A hyper-aggressive, egomaniac, interviews a very wise, mature, adult gentle man, How ironic is that?"
ReplyDeletelol
Wouldn't that be convenient for you, if I was talking about myself.
ReplyDeletemedusa, it sounded exactly like you. you can't manipulate a manipulator.
ReplyDeleteYou being the manipulator?
ReplyDeleteno. i was in a relationship with a manipulator, i'm wise to the tricks.
ReplyDeleteGood for you.
ReplyDeleteMany cops are Narcs. I see it all the time.
ReplyDeleteInteresting stories. They all seem to get their shite from movies it seems because they all have the same lies. The mafia family, the former drug dealer (I hear this a lot of course), the ex special forces, the shaman, blah blah blah. All the details are all filled in straight from Oliver Stone or Francis Ford Coppola:
ReplyDeleteSpecial forces: I had to go out to (insert third world conflict zone). We weren't supposed to be there. They had us remove our dog tags: we didn't exist. My commanding officer told me to kill a entire family, but I refused. The things I saw and did were so terrible they give me nightmares, but you make the nightmares go away.
or
I used to be a drug dealer too, mate, can I get a discount? I know what you are getting them for. I used to cart kilos of that shite right into the port. I had a vast distribution network all across the country. I would get rid of at least two Keys a week. I left it all because I got fed up with the risk you know? You got to get out when your ahead. So do you think you can give me a deal?
Funny thing is that they always say they were this big rich distributor, but they are asking for a fucking discount, they have no shame.
The irony is that narcissists are basically wanna be sociopaths. They want to go out there and be known as someone who breaks all the rules.......Last week. Or last year. Or last decade. They are always living in a false past that they made up to compensate for the present failure they are now.
Who would be worse as a parent---- a Malignant Narcissist or a BPD
ReplyDeletean npd. they'd turn you into one of those stage children.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI used to do the complaining with her, too, and that's partially why it worked (woe is us, we be special snowflakes, the world doesn't get us, we are genius), but now I'm over it and she's still there.
Actually anon I was admiring her honesty right here. Most people won't admit to past foolish behaviour. That includes me.
beeper parents are cool. they give you money unlike greedy socios
ReplyDeleteI never really bought it, though.
ReplyDeleteI always say we are so different, she always insists we are totally alike, on account of our specialness.
she was projecting her grandiosity onto you. they make you feel what they feel.
ReplyDeletemedusa. does it feel as if there is an invisible wall or a barrier around her. as if you do not really know her? you can't get intimate with narcissists.
ReplyDeleteLol. Eden, spot on on monica. That was sharp, and true.
ReplyDeleteThey dont seem to have any intuition when it comes to people. They really think that everyone is buying their bollocks. It amazes me how ridiculous they are. Like Luke, jumping from one lie to the next without skipping a beat. It's fun to poke holes in their stories and make them face themselves. It really sets them off.
ReplyDeleteHard to say, seeing as that I'm not the most intimate person in the world myself. She's always trying to dig inside my head though, since the day I met her.
ReplyDeleteMedusa, your narcissist friend sounds like a chore. Its good you got over that. She sounds like one of those people with self proclaimed potential.
ReplyDeletenarcissists believe that everyone thinks similar to how they do. a narc friend once said to me that hitler was a great person. he was shocked and enraged when i expressed that i thought hitler was an asshole. he just expected me to agree with everything he said.
ReplyDeleteNobody has explained to me how Vankin went through this whole documentary proving he was a sociopath, yet now he is a narcissist.
ReplyDeletehe'd hark on about how our generation needs someone like hitler. to wipe out all the selfish narcissistic people. yet he despises the poor and weak.
ReplyDeletethe guy is a egomaniac at it's worse.
I don't think you actually can be intimate with a narcissist, by what we were talking about earlier with intimacy being honesty and knowing people and yourself and whatnot. I think a narcissist can never really know the self because as i think Zoe said, they have nothing under the mask.
ReplyDeleteWas your narcissist talented, Medusa? It sounds like not but she thinks she'll be a rock star. And she probably tells people she invented the Pandora AP or something. And her need for you to think her boyfriend is cute is funny, because she probably can't care about him unless he reflects well on her image with people she cares about the opinions of.
I think narcissists just keep people around as assurances to themselves of what they are. Its the most powerful form of deusion I think I've seen.
Yes she is a chore, as I'm sure I can be at times myself in my own way, but I don't have so much patience these days and I'm sure she sees me as a cold bitch right now and is depressed about it.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the intellectual banter with her, though. To me that was what made our friendship worth it. It's a hard thing to find.
"Nobody has explained to me how Vankin went through this whole documentary proving he was a sociopath, yet now he is a narcissist."
ReplyDeleteI think he chose the title that would muster the biggest shock value. Most people don't know the difference between a narcissist or a sociopath, so they will just go along with the name. I think he just threw it out there.
Narcissists hate hugging and holding hands or things like that. You will see a narcissist squirming when they have to hug someone.
ReplyDeleteyou will see the narc acting strangely like a child, sometimes. it's very weird. they may be 60 years old, but you'll see them sliding across the floor in their socks like a retarded man child.
ReplyDeleteWas your narcissist talented, Medusa?
ReplyDeleteNo, and she'd be extremely depressed if she knew I thought that. Although she's gotten a lot better over the years. I convinced myself that I really enjoyed her musical 'innocence', that she can come at music in a way that I will never be able to. But she still can barely count to 4. She, who was begged by MIT to attend their institution because of her genius math level, as she always used to say. Of course she didn't end up attending...
And her need for you to think her boyfriend is cute is funny, because she probably can't care about him unless he reflects well on her image with people she cares about the opinions of.
Yep, that seems to be the case, but she would never admit to that or see herself being that superficial. She's not even in love with him, she just loves how he makes her feel, because he worships her and wants to marry her.
They are usually the most untalented people around, but in their mind they are god. They will study the basics of psychology then think they have more authority than the experts.
ReplyDeleteThis guy was frikkin insane. He'd slap his dog right in front of me. when i'd try to stop him, he'd say i had no sense of humor and he didn't know how i didn't find it hilarious?
ReplyDelete"This guy was frikkin insane. He'd slap his dog right in front of me. when i'd try to stop him, he'd say i had no sense of humor and he didn't know how i didn't find it hilarious?"
ReplyDeletehe was trying to scare you.
She's not so pathological as you guys are painting it. She just hasn't grown up.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she was just narcissistic? Full blown narcs are VERY VERY bad, abusively so.
ReplyDeleteYeah no she's not that bad, I'm just sick of her whining and whinging. The rest of her family is awful, though. She's the one that 'made it'.
ReplyDeleteI wish note would share more about his pops. He seems like a total OG.
ReplyDeleteMost pathological narcissists never become successful. The narcs are much too sensitive to criticism. They will just fabricate their whole lives to fit their delusion. I'm not talking about narcissistic oprah types, I mean the full blown Vaknin narcissist.
ReplyDeleteMaddoff was most likely an NPD or a sociopath. Which do you think?
ReplyDeleteJust for purposes of discussion, how do you define normal?
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeletePsychopaths are pathological liars also, all manipulators are.
The lies of we make are like the shades of a chameleon. We make the lie into actuality, becoming the lie itself. We do it without thinking in every interaction. Like right now I'm talking to you rationally.
The lies of a narcissist are exagerated accomplishments to mask their weakness. Their weakness is pretty clear to me, because in their case everything they say is the opposite. All of their accomplishments are their failures in life. You can see it in the roles. The fake shaman is someone who failed at spirituality. Someone who has no clear path, vision, or conviction.
The fake drug dealer is the person who always wanted to break the rules but was top fearful of the consequences. Now they live in regret at the missed chances to live anything, but their current life they are bored with.
The special forces guys are cowards. I have found out a couple of times from narcissist's friends or girlfriends that they were actually dishonorably discharged while in training.
"you will see the narc acting strangely like a child, sometimes. it's very weird. they may be 60 years old, but you'll see them sliding across the floor in their socks like a retarded man child. "
ReplyDeleteAnon, this is so true. Narcs are extremely childish.
@Medusa
I lol'ed about your statement with throwing things out of frustration with narcs. I used to do the same thing but I have learned it accomplished nothing. I have thrown garbage cans, shoes, dishes, many coffee mugs while shouting "Just leave me the fuck alone". I think they enjoy that reaction, in my experience, so I have stopped.
I should add that I have locked him out of the house numerous times just to enjoy the peace and quiet. They are very draining.
ReplyDeleteOnce I threw all of his clean clothes in the mud. They sat out there for a week until he finally got them.
@Sweetcheeks
ReplyDeleteI like your style!
Anonymi I like not reading your opinions.
ReplyDeleteAnd Medusa, I'm sure she's pretty bad, just not to the insane degree quite yet.
I think narcissists live in varying degrees of clouds, where they just become too involved in their own heads. I think its an extremity of an extroverted personality type, as they relate the world to themselves... like introverts generalize, extraverts personalize. And i think narcissists are inherently extraverted, so i think to some degree its just an imbalance with the way their brain works that tends to cause typical reactions.
My husband and i were just talking about it. He was saying that each lie is a compensation for a past trait. Ie I used to be a drug dealer is wishing hteyd been more wild. So i think those wishes lead to overcompensations in their perceptions to deal with their own natures. And when too weak to stand themselves, narcissists are born, and begin to lie about their worlds and create themselves.
ReplyDeleteI should add that I have locked him out of the house numerous times just to enjoy the peace and quiet. They are very draining.
Once I threw all of his clean clothes in the mud. They sat out there for a week until he finally got them.
You two sound like the couple from hell. At least back then there was passion.
Now you have cold indifference. Like those couples you see at the restraunts that eat looking down into their food silently.
You actually kinda sound like the annoying neighbor couple that everyone discusses at holidays. It sounds like you two go well together though, despite the fact that it sounds like you've stopped growing, I think you're both on the same level and adequately paired.
ReplyDeleteJust being honest, but to Sweet and Medusa, have you considered how YOU are as the other half of any relationship?
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean? Have I considered my role in our relationship? Or are you referring to past relationships? As i am introspective I've done both consistantly.
ReplyDeleteI don't tend to talk about myself. People just want you to listen to them, and with me they want me to understand them, and do not typically return the aspiration, so I've learned to be carefully when talking about my conclusions of myself.
ReplyDeleteI think she meant that for sweet and medusa
ReplyDeleteI wasn't paying attention. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, Monica, of course I do.
ReplyDeleteI was not saying it as a criticism, rather as a reminder to myself, as well.
ReplyDeleteThis anon got my attention:
ReplyDelete"is being with a woman better? What's it like? I want to try it. I'm physically attracted to men but not emotionally or mentally attracted to men...And vice versa for women..."
1. How are you emotionally and mentally attracted to women? Are you falling in love with them and wanting to sleep in their arms?
2. How are you going to sleep with someone you are not physically attracted to just to try (with no other benefit)? Are you a socio or a professional?
Hmmm, are we now equaling pride and narcissism? Given how flexible a socio is even a normal level of pride could appear as narcissist to him/her.
ReplyDeleteSo, it's ok to cut people off because they have no use for us (socio thinking), but not because they crossed us or our ideals?
TNP, are you drunk or do you really mean this bullshit?
"I lost count how many jobs my old man either quit or got fired from because of his pride, or how many people he cut off without a second thought, family included, just because they crossed him or his ideals."
Are you seriously just trying to make the narcissist is just proud angle? Or that sociopaths can't get along with proud people? I think that's assuming a low level of intelligence for sociopaths who couldn't possibly tell the difference ever. That's foolish. My husband admires pride and confidence. Narcissism is far from pride. And I'm beginning t suspect you.
ReplyDeleteMK, are you talking to me or the quoted statement from TNP? You seem to agree with my point but unaware that you're doing so.
ReplyDelete"You two sound like the couple from hell. At least back then there was passion.
ReplyDeleteNow you have cold indifference. Like those couples you see at the restraunts that eat looking down into their food silently."
ukan. more than likely this is not sweetcheeks desire. the narcissist will withhold affection. once they devalue you, they cannot show you warmth again. i think sweetcheeks found out the hard way that if you try to be nice to a narcissist he will spit on you. she must not engage to survive.
For MK's eyes only:
ReplyDeleteMy points are:
1. It's ok to cut people off whatever your reasons maybe.
2. Cutting people off because of pride or values when necessary does not equal a narcissist. Imagine cutting Hitler off as opposed to serving his ideals.
I like the following, totally applies to my sweet daddy. He is more like achild around his grandchild (thankfully not my child).
ReplyDelete"you will see the narc acting strangely like a child, sometimes. it's very weird. they may be 60 years old, but you'll see them sliding across the floor in their socks like a retarded man child.
i think all narcissists hate empathic women. they value masculine traits in others, like being arrogant and insensitive.
ReplyDeleteIt used to be like that, yes. He has no respect for anyone so that was my attempt at setting boundaries.
ReplyDeleteI have recognized my part in this and went to therapy for a long time including anger management. I am young and still have a lot of growing to do, but I have learned so much in this relationship. There is no chance of us working out simply because he thinks he is perfection and is above help or therapy. So we have grown apart and keep to ourselves.
I was speaking about my father, who was a narcissist and had toxic levels of pride. He put his pride before his own self-preservation, and of course his family and friends.
ReplyDeleteI'm not saying pride = narcissim.
I'm not sure I see the relevance of your arguments. what do you mean by cutting people off?
ReplyDeletei think narcissists are hilarious.
ReplyDelete@Sceli
ReplyDeleteI'm the anon that made the comment about being attracted to women emotionally and physically attracted to men...Problem for me is, I find the thought of getting sexually or romantically close to a man disgusting...I have issues in that sense...I would much rather prefer being attracted to women...But i'm not sure i'm attracted to a womans physique...I'm attracted to a mans body but at the same time repusled by it...It's hard to explain.
wv:chips
Sweetcheeks, I think you're miserable and stupid, and if you aren't cheating on him you should leave.
ReplyDeletehow arrogant was your dad tnp? was he trump arrogant?
ReplyDeleteHahah! Kanney the fanny got all pissy when I said I liked Sweetcheeks style lol. Piss off. You're the one with the drug dealer hubby. You haven't got a leg to stand on sweetheart.
ReplyDeleteHe thought he was reincarnated and sent to Earth on a mission from God. That's just the tip of the iceberg.
ReplyDeleteWow Missus! At least your honest.
ReplyDeleteI have stated before my life doesn't revolve around him. I don't enjoy him when he is around, but my life is far from miserable. I can see where you get that impression and I don't think that opinion will change regardless. I could spill all my juicy secrets in defense, but I treasure mine.
sweetcheeks, perhaps stupid is mean, bu its silly and frustrating to me that you are miserable and that instead of deciding to leave him that you've become complacent. You Need to stand up for your on needs and happiness. If you're miserable, level. He doesn't even care about you. What's keeping you thee?
ReplyDeleteMissus, do you act like that in your real life, or only on here?
ReplyDeleteNo, Monica. She gets beaten into submission by Ukan until she flips and aatempts to take her own life.. Ukan's words. Not mine. She wont answer anyone who asks though. Probably ashamed because she points out other peoples weaknesses when she was driven to suicide attempts by a wanker drug dealer.
ReplyDeleteHere comes the three hour novel--->
ReplyDeleteMissus
ReplyDeleteI have been in the process of leaving him. I have already taken action by going to legal council, I have my own bank account that he doesn't know about, etc. It has to be a slow process or I am roadkill. I left last year, but I realized making a rash decision could end up resulting in him having full custody of our son. There are many things that are in play in the shadows of our home that I do my best to keep hidden. Every step I take is guided by legal council who knows about narcs. I hope that clears up the confusion.
The surest way I know of to get a crushing blow to your heart is to tell a narcissist you love her or him. They will respond with a nasty power move, such as telling you to do things entirely their way or else be banished from them for ever.
ReplyDeleteIf you're like me, you get into disputes with narcissists over their casual dishonesty and cruelty to other people. Trying to reform narcissists by reasoning with them or by appealing to their better nature is about as effective as spitting in the ocean. What you see is what you get: they have no better nature. The fundamental problem here is that narcissists lack empathy.
Lacking empathy is a profound disturbance to the narcissist's thinking (cognition) and feeling (affectivity). Even when very intelligent, narcissists can't reason well. One I've worked with closely does something I characterize as "analysis by eggbeater." They don't understand the meaning of what people say and they don't grasp the meaning of the written word either -- because so much of the meaning of anything we say depends on context and affect, narcissists (lacking empathy and thus lacking both context and affect) hear only the words.
Narcissists pay attention only to themselves and stuff that affects them personally. However, since they don't know what other people are doing, narcissists can't judge what will affect them personally and seem never to learn that when they cause trouble they will get trouble back. They won't take other people's feelings into consideration and so they overlook the fact that other people will react with feeling when abused or exploited and that most people get really pissed off by being lied to or lied about.
ReplyDeleteNarcissists are envious and competitive in ways that are hard to understand. For instance, one I knew once became incensed over an article published in a national magazine -- not for its content exactly, but because she could have written something just as good. Maybe she could have -- she hadn't, but that little lapse on her part was beside the point to her. They are constantly comparing themselves (and whatever they feel belongs to them, such as their children and furniture) to other people. Narcissists feel that, unless they are better than anyone else, they are worse than everybody in the whole world.
Narcissists are generally contemptuous of others. This seems to spring, at base, from their general lack of empathy, and it comes out as (at best) a dismissive attitude towards other people's feelings, wishes, needs, concerns, standards, property, work, etc. It is also connected to their overall negative outlook on life.
The female narc was letting her freinds dog out, she said because he was away. She bent down to pet the dog and say good-bye, when it jumped up and bit her top lip and nose (ha ha even dogs don't like her). With her lip and nose hanging off her face she was taken to the hospital by her bf. when they arrived the owner of the dog was on duty there (I thought he was away) so he called the renowed plastic surgeon in the country to graft it back back.
ReplyDeleteWhen she returned back to work 2 weeks later you could see where it had scraped the skin on her nose and she had a little scab on her lip.
Guess he was the best to only leave a little scab where her whole top lip was RIPPED OFF.
Narcissists are (a) extremely sensitive to personal criticism and (b) extremely critical of other people. They think that they must be seen as perfect or superior or infallible, next to god-like (if not actually divine, then sitting on the right hand of God) -- or else they are worthless. There's no middle ground of ordinary normal humanity for narcissists. They can't tolerate the least disagreement. In fact, if you say, "Please don't do that again -- it hurts," narcissists will turn around and do it again harder to prove that they were right the first time; their reasoning seems to be something like "I am a good person and can do no wrong; therefore, I didn't hurt you and you are lying about it now..." -- sorry, folks, I get lost after that. Anyhow, narcissists are habitually cruel in little ways, as well as big ones, because they're paying attention to their fantasy and not to you, but the bruises on you are REAL, not in your imagination. Thus, no matter how gently you suggest that they might do better to change their ways or get some help, they will react in one of two equally horrible ways: they will attack or they will withdraw. Be wary of wandering into this dragon's cave -- narcissists will say ANYTHING, they will trash anyone in their own self-justification, and then they will expect the immediate restoration of the status quo. They will attack you (sometimes physically) and spew a load of bile, insult, abuse, contempt, threats, etc., and then -- well, it's kind of like they had indigestion and the vicious tirade worked like a burp: "There. Now I feel better. Where were we?" They feel better, so they expect you to feel better, too. They will say you are nothing, worthless, and turn around immediately and say that they love you. When you object to this kind of treatment, they will say, "You just have to accept me the way I am. (God made me this way, so God loves me even if you are too stupid to understand how special I am.)" Accepting them as they are (and staying away from them entirely) is excellent advice. The other "punishment" narcissists mete out is banishing you from their glorious presence -- this can turn into a farce, since by this point you are probably praying to be rescued, "Dear God! How do I get out of this?"
ReplyDeleteThe other "punishment" narcissists mete out is banishing you from their glorious presence -- this can turn into a farce, since by this point you are probably praying to be rescued, "Dear God! How do I get out of this?" The narcissist expects that you will be devastated by the withdrawal of her/his divine attention, so that after a while -- a few weeks or months (i.e., the next time the narcissist needs to use you for something) -- the narcissist will expect you to have learned your lesson and be eager to return to the fold. If you have learned your lesson, you won't answer that call. They can't see that they have a problem; it's always somebody else who has the problem and needs to change. Therapies work at all only when the individual wants to change and, though narcissists hate their real selves, they don't want to change -- they want the world to change. And they criticize, gripe, and complain about almost everything and almost everyone almost all the time. There are usually a favored few whom narcissists regard as absolutely above reproach, even for egregious misconduct or actual crime, and about whom they won't brook the slightest criticism. These are people the narcissists are terrified of, though they'll tell you that what they feel is love and respect; apparently they don't know the difference between fear and love. Narcissists just get worse and worse as they grow older; their parents and other authority figures that they've feared die off, and there's less and less outside influence to keep them in check
ReplyDeleteNarcissists are naive and vulnerable, pathetic really, no matter how arrogant and forceful their words or demeanor. They have pretty good reasons for their paranoia and cynicism, their sneakiness, evasiveness, prevarications. This is the one I get suckered on. They are so out of touch with other people and what goes on around them that they are very susceptible to exploitation. On the other hand, they're so inattentive, and so disconnected from what other people are up to, that they don't recognize when someone is taking advantage of them.
ReplyDeleteNarcissists have little sense of humor. They don't get jokes, not even the funny papers or simple riddles, and they don't make jokes, except for sarcastic cracks and the lamest puns. This is because, lacking empathy, they don't get the context and affect of words or actions, and jokes, humor, comedy depend entirely on context and affect. They specialize in sarcasm about others and mistake it for wit, but, in my experience, narcissists are entirely incapable of irony -- thus, I've been chagrinned more than once to discover that something I'd taken as an intentional pose or humorous put-on was, in fact, something the narcissist was totally serious about. Which is to say that they come mighty close to parody in their pretensions and pretending, so that they can be very funny without knowing it, but you'd better not let on that you think so. [Interestingly, this is the only trait on this list about which there seems to be any controversy. Maybe I've just been unlucky! I've known narcissists who'll make fun of others, repeat jokes they've heard others laugh at, and laugh at jokes when others laugh, but knowing how to make people laugh is not necessarily the same as having a sense of humor.
This is so true -
ReplyDeleteNarcissists have a weird sense of time. It's more or less like they are not aware that the passage of time changes things, or maybe they just aren't aware of time's passing at all. Years can pass without touching narcissists. Narcissists often look, or think they look, significantly younger than they are; this youthful appearance is a point of pride to them, and some will emphasize it by either preserving the styles of their golden youth or following the styles of people the age they feel they "really" are. That their faces don't show their chronological age is a good sign that they haven't been living real lives with real life's wear and tear on the looks of normal people. The narcissists' years have passed without touching them. Bear in mind that narcissistic adults have had decades of not being in synch with the times or with other people, so that by now they are really out of it. Sometimes it just seems like they have a highly selective memory -- which, of course, they do, sort of; they pay attention only to what has their name in it in the first place, so after 30 or 40 years, you shouldn't be surprised to hear a narcissist say something like, "Didn't the Beatles have a couple of hit songs while we were in high school?" or to suddenly discover that the narcissist doesn't know that M&M's have little m's on them or that smallpox was eradicated over 20 years ago. They are not being ironic: they really don't know
Yeah they do look young for their age! The only issue is they age everyone else around them.
ReplyDeleteJesus Christ, why can't you just link to the website?
ReplyDeleteThey were off in their own little world of fantastic perfection. On the other hand, as far as I've seen, all that stuff really is in there, but is accessible only intermittently or unpredictably. Narcissists ordinarily have spotty memories, with huge and odd gaps in their recollections; they may say that they don't remember their childhoods, etc., and apparently most of the time they don't. But they will have sudden accesses of memory, triggered by God knows what, when they remember details, everybody's names, what people were wearing, why the people in that picture from 1950 are standing the way they are, what the weather was like, etc. -- in other words, every once in a while, their memories will be normal. But don't count on it
ReplyDeleteNarcissists have strange work habits. Normal people work for a goal or a product, even if the goal is only a paycheck. Normal people measure things by how much they have to spend (in time, work, energy) to get the desired results. Normal people desire idleness from time to time, usually wanting as much free time as they can get to pursue their own thoughts and pleasures and interests. Narcissists work for a goal, too, but it's a different goal: they want power, authority, adulation. Lacking empathy, and lacking also context and affect, narcissists don't understand how people achieve glory and high standing; they think it's all arbitrary, it's all appearances, it's all who you know. So they try to attach themselves to people who already have what they want, meanwhile making a great show of working hard. Narcissists can put in a shocking amount of time to very little effect. This is partly because they have so little empathy that they don't know why some work is valued more highly than other work, why some people's opinions carry more weight than others'. They do know that you're supposed to work and not be lazy, so they keep themselves occupied. But they are not invested in the work they do -- whatever they may produce is just something they have to do to get the admiration and power they crave. Since this is so, they really don't pay attention to what they're doing, preferring the easiest thing at every turn, even though they may be constantly occupied, so that narcissists manage to be workaholics and extremely lazy at the same time. Narcissists measure the worth of their work only by how much time they spend on it, not by what they produce. They want to get an A for Effort. Narcissists lack empathy, so they don't know what others value or why. Narcissists tend to value things in quantitative ways and in odd quantities at that -- they'll tell you how many inches of letters they received, but not how many letters or from how many correspondents; they know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
"Jesus Christ, why can't you just link to the website?"
ReplyDeleteI am writing this myself.
Something I had not connected with narcissism until I read about Reactive Attachment Disorder is that narcissists I've known have had unusual eating habits or appetites, including eating match heads, dry cake mix, chicken bones, raw meat, dog kibble, egg mash, bits of paper, wood pencils; some binge or gorge on ordinary foods, others seem always to be on one or another self-imposed, self-invented eccentric dietary regime. This behavior does not seem to have much in the way of affective component compared to, say, "normal" eating disorders.
ReplyDeleteIt's very hard to have a simple, uncomplicated good time with a narcissist. Except for odd spells of heady euphoria unrelated to anything you can see, their affective range is mediocre-fake-normal to hell-on-Earth. They will sometimes lie low and be quiet, actually passive and dependent -- this is as good as it gets with narcissists. They are incapable of loving conduct towards anyone or anything, so they do not have the capacity for simple pleasure, beyond the satisfaction of bodily needs. There is only one way to please a narcissist (and it won't please you): that is to indulge their every whim, cater to their tiniest impulses, bend to their views on every little thing. There's only one way to get decent treatment from narcissists: keep your distance. They can be pretty nice, even charming, flirtatious, and seductive, to strangers, and will flatter you shamelessly if they want something from you. When you attempt to get close to them in a normal way, they feel you are putting emotional pressure on them and they withdraw because you're too demanding.
Narcissists don't volunteer the usual personal information about themselves, so they may seem secretive or perhaps unusually reserved or very jealous of their privacy. All these things are true, but with the special narcissistic twist that, first, their real life isn't interesting to them so it doesn't occur to them that it would be interesting to anyone else and, second, since they have not yet been transfigured into the Star of the Universe, they're ashamed of their real life. They feel that their jobs, their friends and families, their homes and possessions aren't good enough for them, they deserve better.
ReplyDeleteNarcissists not only don't recognize the feelings and autonomy of others, they don't recognize their own feelings as their own. Their feelings are sort of like the weather, atmospheric, acts of God. The narcissistic think that everyone's having the same feeling as they are. This means that usually their own pain means nothing to them beyond the physical discomfort -- it has no affective component. When they do get some painful affect, they think that God is punishing them -- they think that their trivial errors are worth God's specific attention to their punishment. If you try to straighten them out, by telling them that your feelings are different, beware: their idea of sharing their feelings is to do or say something that makes you feel the way they're feeling and, as they make a point of not sharing anything desirable, you can expect something really nasty. The sad fact seems to be that narcissists feel just as bad about themselves as they make others feel about them.
Anon 2:50 lol
ReplyDeletemaybe i need a surgeon friend
ReplyDeleteNarcissists are noted for their negative, pessimistic, cynical, or gloomy outlook on life. Sarcasm seems to be a narcissistic specialty, not to mention spite. Lacking love and pleasure, they don't have a good reason for anything they do and they think everyone else is just like them, except they're honest and the rest of us are hypocrites. Nothing real is ever perfect enough to satisfy them, so are they are constantly complaining and criticizing -- to the point of verbal abuse and insult
ReplyDeleteThis sounds just like a sociopath?
ReplyDelete"Didn't the Beatles have a couple of hit songs while we were in high school?"
ReplyDeletelol
Missus
ReplyDeleteIt's not like I sit in the shower every night and cut myself and cry~
Last night I had a blast playing pool with some friends and I am going out tonight for a Halloween party out of town. We are all putting in for a hotel room and going to have a blast! He chooses not to come out with me but that doesn't hold me back from having fun :)
Sweetcheeks, I'm actually really glad to hear that. It sounds like you're growing past him and that he gave you what you needed to do that. I'm surprised, and impressed by your tactics. They seem reasonable, and much less emotional. And i know you kept saying you do stuff and are building a life without him but it sounded like a way of saying you were distracting yourself, not so much detaching yourself. I'm actually excited for the decision. It sounds like there's a lot of hope following the enactment of this. I'm not usually a huge fan of divorce either, but it sounds like your very best option.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, I still love not reading your opinions.
ReplyDeleteThank you Missus. I have tried not bringing my marital issues to this blog as much as possible so it is easy to assume things. Just another speed bump, right? lol
ReplyDeleteLong Winded Anon get over it.
ReplyDeleteHe hurt your feeling, you are bitter, but you deserved it. The End.
That's all you need to write.
Long winded Anon lol
ReplyDeleteWho's the long winded anon? The one that keeps writing all those paragraphs?
ReplyDeleteYou say you don't love reading my comments Kanney. Why not stop reading them and stop responding to them, eh? You're easy...You care. That's why you read them and then can't help but respond. Maybe you'll shut up when that junkie hubby gives you a fat lip next time.
ReplyDeleteAnon you should either submit your story to me or post it in the forum. Much easier to read and a lot less obnoxious.
ReplyDeleteConsidering that she doesn't actually need to speak to type with her FINGERS, I find that comment incredibly idiotic anon three five 4.
ReplyDeleteoy
ReplyDelete@Piles
ReplyDeleteThat was related to the fact that she clearly has a big mouth idiot. Of course, you ride in here on your big white horse.
My bad. I'm an idiot.
ReplyDeletewell hello there
ReplyDeleteMy husband is a narc. I hope my two sons won't turn out to be like him.
ReplyDeleteI want to have a beer with UKan.
ReplyDeleteLol, now I am being copied, and I'm a nobody. Awesome. I made my mark~
ReplyDeleteI'll woe him with one of my gallant tales.
ReplyDeletelong winded anon, then i think depressed people look like narcissists.
ReplyDeleteDepressed people can be toxicly self absorbed and puff up to escape.
It is very unattractive.
People know it about themselves, too.
It is a compulsion to be looking inwards and avoiding pain. Lots of comedians are narcissists. That self-deprecating humor is the only way they know how to cope and get attention. So many comedians are suffering. It is desperation.
Speaking of, did anyone see Chelsea Lately call herself a psychopath on TV?
mmmmm, sulphur
ReplyDeletemoaning complainers?
ReplyDeleteRichard Lewis
ReplyDeleteDO you think I am self absorbed and narcissistic?
ReplyDeletePlastic surgery on a comedian is very Unfunny.
ReplyDeleteNarcissists NEVER self deprecate. They make shitty comedians because they take themselves too seriously. Politics is the arena for narcissists.
ReplyDeleteJane you are a mysterious snowflake. I just want to stick my tongue out and have you melt in my mouth.
ReplyDeleteI'm being copied too Piles. i'm flattered actually.
ReplyDeleteanyway, after sixteen years of marriage i realized my husband is not as attractive as i thought he was. His narc personality is not attractive. He is unpredicatable and dangerous. I want out. his looks mean nothing at this point. Problem is, the economy is in a bad shape, there are no jobs out here in the mid west.
yes! finally some action ;) us snowflakes don't normally see any
ReplyDeleteJane
ReplyDeleteBitch you need to find a new name- now. This Jane is taken.
are there children?
ReplyDeleteits friday friday gettin down on friiiiiidayyyyyy
ReplyDeleteAnon 3:54 lol
ReplyDeletejane is everyjane. She is a compilation of all of sw people's mirrors.
ReplyDeleteI am glad Sweet Cheeks is back.
ReplyDeletehow old ?
ReplyDelete"Plastic surgery on a comedian is very Unfunny."
ReplyDeletewhom has it?
richard lewis!
ReplyDeleteAccording to the book of names the hospital gave me when I was pregnant with my boys, there are 2.5 million Janes of all races in America. It's a common name. Anyway I want a divorce.
ReplyDeleteid fuck rebecca black 13 or not
ReplyDeleteJackie Mason, too. But he is old.
ReplyDeleteBill Mahr had a tuck. But i forgive him, of course.
Bill Mahr is horrible.
ReplyDeleteI went on loverfraud.com. The amount of stories those ladies tell do not compare to the hell my husband has put me through.
ReplyDeleteI got early retirement from my job.
ReplyDeleteMahr has a big dick . -He really does.
ReplyDeleteAnd he calls other guys "sweetheart"
And he fucks supermodels! Yay Bill!
Most cops are rank Narcs. No one fucks with me, if they know what is good for them. I give them the eye and they back off.
ReplyDeleteHe's too tolerant for my liking. Hannity is the man.
ReplyDeleteCan you leave him?
ReplyDeletehannity a comedian??? Now that is funny.
ReplyDeleteI like Sean Hannity, too Anon
ReplyDelete