People often wonder whether sociopaths are born with their special skill set or whether it is acquired. I think it is a little bit of both. I think it is sort of like perfect pitch. Some people are apparently born with perfect pitch, or the ability to ascertain the frequency of sound waves not only relative to other frequencies, but relative to an absolute pitch, e.g. A = 440 Hz. If they do not keep this talent up (e.g. by never learning a musical instrument or otherwise doing anything musical), they will lose it. Similarly, I think there are a lot of survival or predatory talents that sociopaths excel at that other people have been equally inclined towards at one point in their lives, but have just failed to keep up or continue their education in those areas. I saw this recently referenced in an article about a class on survival skills being taught in New York's Central Park to yuppie urbanites. From the New York Times:
I actually have noticed my friends improving in these skills after spending time with me. They get used to seeing the world from a slightly different perspective, and ever after they have a bit more situational awareness and/or insight into primitive human nature that they weren't really developing before. Most people don't like to daily drudge through a parade of horrible what-ifs, but it actually can be quite fun once you get good at it. And of course, as I learned from being a musician, visualizing yourself doing something successfully makes actually doing that thing in real life infinitely easier. It may not be a pitch perfect performance, but neither will it be the disaster that it could have been had you never imagined yourself having to do those things or be that person. Not everyone wants to survive or excel in life, but for those that do, practice makes perfect.
I actually think I would be a very effective life coach.
“These are time-tested skills,” Mr. Hobel said. “Many years ago we all used to know them, and now we’re bringing them back.”The key to surviving in the wilderness, he explained, is conserving precious time and energy by remaining calm and aware. “The more skills we have, the more capable we are,” he said.One eerie exercise focused on heightening awareness, with students closing their eyes and trying to sense danger lurking nearby. “Two people have been watching us the whole time,” Mr. Hobel said. “Can you feel their presence?”To our surprise, we all could, and pointed to two thick logs, in front and behind us, in mud and leaves. From behind them suddenly arose two of Mr. Hobel’s associates dressed in full camouflage, their faces painted, who had been lying there unnoticed for an hour.
I actually think I would be a very effective life coach.
Nature despises the weak and rewards the vicious.
ReplyDeleteNature has to eat when hungry, and strong has easier time finding food. That does not mean nature despises the weak anon 2:15. If that was the case there would be no cross animal nursing, which is quite common. If nature despised the weak the gene pool would have already eliminated the lower life forms (animals/plants/humans). Nature welcomes it all.
ReplyDeleteMost everyone on SW think they would be a very effective life coach, just like M.E. and me do.
ReplyDeleteThe question is would anyone pay for it?
:)
The part about friends' skills improving after spending time around you...do you think it's possible to "catch" someone else's sociopathy? I am a strong empath who spent two months on a very intimate level with a socio, making intense efforts to get into his mindset, understand what it's like to be him. What a horrow show! It was like that movie, "The Cell." Ever since then, my own outlook and the way I process my perceptions has changed dramatically, almost mirroring his. I am much more misanthropic, much less empathetic, really quite cold and distanced from people now. He was also severely ADHD and now I notice my own focus and attention is considerably impaired. I think of that Ingmar Bergman movie "Persona," and wonder about the extent to which we are ever ourselves, and how another person can impress themselves upon our own idendity, perhaps to a biological level, even if passively and unknowingly. I don't know if I'll ever get my old 'self' back.
ReplyDeleteI think the non socio can gain a great deal from the socio. The relationship does not have to be romantic, as M.E seems to suggest.
ReplyDeleteHowever, *I* wonder, DOES the socio get anything that is meaningful from the non socio, in terms of the socio changing or becoming different or "better"?
J there is no point in trying to be somebody your not. You'll just look out of place. So many losers invent a sociopath persona for what ever reason, even though they behave nothing like a sociopath. Just stay the way you are. Sociopaths are nasty dangerous people. Normal people don't see them as cool. They see them as monstrous entities.
ReplyDeleteThose bastards would skin their brother alive if it promised a promotion. You don't want to be like that J. Your a good boy.
ReplyDeletenot all sociopaths are like that.
DeleteI seen a codependent like you J. She had a sociopath husband. He was incredibly manipulative and charismatic. A gigantic prick in private though.
ReplyDeleteHe looked for any excuse to beat the shit out of her or her. After years of suffering abuse, she adapted some of his traits, like insulting people behind their back. I could see right through it though.
I knew she was suffering and how she didn't mean what she was saying. She just had zero sense of identity.
Her husband is in prison now for knocking out some woman at a bar. He isn't a habitual criminal, but his mask does come off from time to time.
ReplyDeleteher husband is a boss
ReplyDeleteJ, I don't know how to say this, so I will say it out right, if you will allow me. Your old self was flawed. I know that because you were with a sociopath, trusted one, gave yourself to one. A person who was "normal" would not. By normal, I mean emotionally healthy with a strong sense of personal identity. What he "took" from you, you lost a long time ago, as a child. He highlighted it, exposed it, brought it to light. However, He did not "take" what you did not give. You gave it, unwittingly, and unknowingly, and ignorantly. However, and this is key, you gave "it" because you had it inside of you. The "it " is your brokenness.
ReplyDeleteMonica,
ReplyDeleteI would say that you're accurate. I guess I should add that I was deep in grief from watching my partner die a few years earlier. I underestimated my vulnerability. But the main question of my initial post was the extent to which sociopaths (or anyone, for that matter) can influence our own cognition, and the susceptibility of our own minds to that of others. In the eeriest of ways.
Being with a sociopath would force one to confront one's own dark side. In that sense,it is scary and eerie. I suppose the sociopath is a walking picture of mankind's dark side, too, so that is eerie, as you said. I see what you mean, J.
ReplyDeleteMonica@6:42. Excellent, thank you.
ReplyDeleteJ@7:15. You were vulnerable and you fell for it. Then it opened up some new ways of life and attitude. You'll revert to who you were in due time, hopefully sooner than not.
Recommended: Two movies: Modigliani, and Vincere to see what happens to women who give it up in the name of love--incredible delusions. These are men who gave a little (Modigliani) and no (Mussolini) love to these women yet the first committed suicide and the second died in a madhouse (so did Lincoln's wife).
http://web.archive.org/web/20110629125929/http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/article411675.ece
ReplyDeleteBENITO MUSSOLINI drove his secret first wife and son to early deaths in lunatic asylums because they threatened his rise to power. His henchmen then tried to erase all traces of their relationship.
A documentary to be shown on state television tomorrow will shock Italians after recent attempts to rehabilitate Mussolini, who has been portrayed in recent family memoirs as a paternal figure and patriot.
But the documentary, Mussolini’s Secret, paints a black picture of Il Duce’s ruthlessness.
My theory would be that if a woman is with a sociopath, she has rejected parts of herself that she needs him to help her claim. If not, there would not be the attraction. I could be wrong. It is a working theory.
ReplyDeleteThat's perhaps true of any significant relationship. But those parts, if rejected, were surely rejected for a reason. What is the value of reclaiming them? And, once one is put back in touch with their beast, what then? What does one do with that sort of self-confrontation, where does one go from there? Certainly, a path back into innocence is not possible.
ReplyDeleteJ, I think the lesson of the sociopath is that we, and every human is capable of what they do, but we have stopping mechanisms, in place, better than they do. We have guilt and a conscience. We have empathy to know what it feels like when we hurt someone. They do not, but we have what they have, too, the darkness, the void, the capacity to do evil and walk away. Perhaps, the people who end up with sociopaths have thought of themselves as all good, ABOVE the darkness and evil in the human soul. If so, the sociopath can teach them that this is not the case.
ReplyDeletewat is dos
ReplyDeletesociopath is not trendy anymore being a beeper is so in this season. I'M THERE
ReplyDelete"sociopath is not trendy anymore being a beeper is so in this season. I'M THERE"
ReplyDeleteif you add a little adhd to that it will be PERFECT. just don't over do it with a full borderline.
lol
ReplyDeletewhere is that raging egomaniac ukan?
ReplyDeleteborderlines are stupid
ReplyDeletewho here agrees with what that judge did to his daughter? honestly, i think the man should get a medal.
ReplyDeletesick
ReplyDeletehe should have raped the crippled little shit.
ReplyDeleteWho said he didn't?
ReplyDeleteThat judge should get what is coming to him, the holier than thou bastard. I see the worst of them in my job and this particular bitch needs to be taken down a notch.
ReplyDelete"That judge should get what is coming to him, the holier than thou bastard. I see the worst of them in my job and this particular bitch needs to be taken down a notch."
ReplyDeleteWhy? The kid clearly deserved it. If i was there I would have joined in.
Harv, we are going to have to part company on this one, dude. Do you still want to be the Hillside Stranglers with Frank and me, though?
ReplyDelete"Harv, we are going to have to part company on this one, dude. Do you still want to be the Hillside Stranglers with Frank and me, though?"
ReplyDeleteNo I couldn't share the spotlight with anyone. I'm more of a BTK kind of guy.
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ^
ReplyDeleterape me with thee wanka
ReplyDeleteWho would want to be a hillside strangler? They were completely inept. They only got like 8 kills I believe? If you want to make the headlines you should be aiming for the 40 mark.
ReplyDeleteHarv I will have to ask Frank before I make any decisions.
ReplyDeleteSerial rapists are actually loathed more than serial murderers for reasons unknown to me.
ReplyDeletedoes rape get you off
ReplyDeleteit does it for me
ReplyDeleteI've never raped anyone. If there were no barriers, I'd be raping people all the time. What's stopping me? I imagine lots of men would do the same.
ReplyDeletemakes sense
ReplyDeleteThat judge is so confident and calm on that video. It's such a good job that the girl was ready for the taping, and she was excellent with the timing of it coming out, too. Excellent job. He may soon die in jail and she can enjoy his life savings. Nothing like seeing the bad guy in the ditch.
ReplyDeleteI dated a socio only because he had a great body and serviced really well. Once his socio sides started showing I could not believe how differently a person could be. So, he was the awakening to different type of humanity. I did not seek his ass, but apparently I was a magnet for him and his type. I dumped him very quickly based on a shrink I saw only once afterwards. Shrink worked for the confirmation that I did great by dumping his ass, despite how much I was what I thought to be 'in love.' That sucker clearly did not deserve love. I saw so much devil in that guy that I lost all trust in humanity for a while. Then it all got back to normal, except the awareness of socios. As for the women who stay the long road with the socios... As Monica said, they are there for a reason and they sure deserve what they are getting.
where did ukan and note go?
ReplyDeleteis it possible to love a socio when you know what they are? i would hope they would stay guarded and not become delusional
ReplyDeleteSome girl,
ReplyDeleteHow did you regain your trust in humanity? Did it just come back on its own, and if so, how long did it take? Or did you do something, take some active step, to bring it back?
"Nothing like seeing the bad guy in the ditch."
ReplyDeleteThat's loser talk.
LMFAO @ the judge blaming the whole thing on the cripple. Typical sociopath.
ReplyDeleteYou give them a finger and they take your whole arm lol
ReplyDeleteDid I miss sumpthin?
ReplyDeleteThe only reason people are up in arms, is because angsty kids can empathize with a girl that has an abusive sociopath as a father.
ReplyDeletelove is a boring topic. less feelings talk and more raping
ReplyDeleteWho here is pro child abuse?
ReplyDeleteAnon. I think haven is pro child abuse. I could be wrong.
ReplyDeletei admire the drive and intelligence. it keeps me engaged
ReplyDeleteHow is the exquisite Sweet Cheeks, today?
ReplyDeletethis weak has been so boring
ReplyDeleteso Frank, what say you about our plan?
ReplyDeleteyes
ReplyDeleteGary, I will have a 6 pack and think about it, Buddy.
ReplyDelete︻┳═一
ReplyDeleteMake up your mind, Frank. Why do you have to make a federal case of it?
ReplyDeleteThe hardest thing was to call it off for good. The only way I could do that was to assume he was killed in a car crash. I refused all contact. Before departure though I had a short round of revenge, and did not like myself after the revenge (he was bent over throwing up, in dire pain, won't tell how I did that to him). It fit his style more than mine.
ReplyDeleteAfter the breakup what I realized is that it was tougher to forgive myself that I fell first for him and then for the revenge. Took me two years to forgive myself.
In those two years I took time out and only dated others who seemed strong to accept that I was on a rebound and could not be trusted with my feelings and how quickly I could call it quits. I just was not going to hurt non-suspecting others.
Since I left at the top of my 'love' it was pretty much being forced to say no to 'love' not just the socio. This is collateral damage, well worth taking on to avoid all that hatred and shit that come around a low life socio. My heart felt close to love but my brain was just fine. I trusted that over time all his impact would be erased, and it sure did.
Gotta trust time, and gotta trust your own ways as opposed to changing yourself to adapt some shitty man's style of life. I guess it is fair to say I decided to love myself even more, and I did.
J. said...
Some girl,
How did you regain your trust in humanity? Did it just come back on its own, and if so, how long did it take? Or did you do something, take some active step, to bring it back?
November 5, 2011 12:30 PM
Hi Frank
ReplyDeletechange that to 'my heart felt closeD to love'
ReplyDeletewatch UKan talk:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euU4L5KvWGE&NR=1
181,763 4:39
ReplyDeleteTo a certain degree, I can relate to J. As an emp[ath in a sociopathic relationship, you have a natural tendency to want to please the other person, but a sociopath is capable of infinite amounts of accepting, and no giving with no remorse, so it imbalances the relationship in their favor. It's easy as a person to try to please them, and never be able to do so, and for them to always make different demands with little reward.
ReplyDeleteHowever, that's just how they are. Once you start to understand your nature to try to appease and please people, you can start to strengthen yourself, and understand their nature to have no desire to please anyone. You can then start to move in a healthy direction towards pleasing yourself, and caring less about what anyone thinks of you. Your sense of value can then be based on your own aspirations as opposed to how well you help others at theirs. Disillusionment, however, is painful, and naturally separating from most people who are too afraid or unable to become disillusioned. Psychologically, disillusionment is a stage of development and is represented symbolically in many stories and cultures. For example, Eve biting the Apple in the garden of Eden is an example of disillusionment, and is depicted there to convey that all people muist go through it to grow. Jung refers to many other symbols and cultural circumstances that encourage this growth, because as humans our goal is to become conciously aware of the decisions we make subconciously.
Anyway, I'm starting to get teachy. But for some reason you sought this sociopath, probably because you are ready to grow past your childlike subconcious behaviors and begin to make concious decisions for your life. You will never get your old perspective back, as Eve cannot give knowlege back, but you can now begin to shape your life directly, and as an adult on the way to self actualization.
It is an assumption to say that she chose him. Better to say she accepted his initial approach and was unable to choose him. You chose that's for sure, but we already know why.
ReplyDeleteBy being approachable by a sociopath, you have already made a decision, though you are yet unaware of it. That's the point. you can then become aware of who you are, and begin to make those decisioins conciously.
ReplyDeleteWhat I wonder about are the woman who walk away from the sociopath with a huge, giant "ICKKK". I saw many of those in the days of knowing and being married to mine. To many woman, the sociopath seems gross, like something revolting. Many looked at me, a woman who loved and married a sociopath, as a mental case. Was I? I don't know. My theory is that only a woman who has been abused would be attracted to a sociopath enough to stay. The abuse can be of various kinds. However, if one had a strong love for oneself, I think one would walk away from a sociopath.
ReplyDeleteWomen who are repulsed by sociopaths believe in good and bad, and that the sociopath is bad. They also believe that they are good. And then the sociopath is exciting, but he's still bad. the exciting mistake, so they can go on to be good little girls.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMiss Kanney that is very simplistic. Things are not simplistic, in that way, only in a child's mind.
ReplyDeleteNo, things are that simplistic. we just like to add details to make them more valuable, but the facts are always what they are.
ReplyDeleteI am just a dumb engineer who laughed at psychology and its associated "studies" as pseudo sciences, trying to gain credibility as a "science". And in my defense when I went to school, that was marginally true. But I should have remained a student and broadened my scope and delved into Hare and the DSM. My loss. And I paid for it.
ReplyDeleteFive plus years after a divorce, after an eight-year marriage/relationship, and I an still paying for it. After about two years of marriage, when the facade fell down, I fooled myself that I was smart enough to figure out how to "engineer" an amicable existence, after all I was raised with three sister, and that was not all bad. I had chips in the game, and kept throwing in more every time there was a raise. Where was this site when I needed it. I should have folded and deserted after the 2nd year!
Enough of the sad story, but here is what I have learned, in a case study (eight years worth and more)that I could probably use as a thesis or dissertation for a degree.
There are all levels of psychopathy (or sociopathy) to which I can respond, that I have found on this site. Contrary to statements here, though some personal statements from P/S's were supportive: Not all P/S's know that they are. Mine did not, unless I have underestimated her again. She was inherently (and hereditarily) excellent at her game, with almost no forethought or planning, complete with lies, cover-up, infidelities, theft, drugs, BPD, narcissism, hysterical personality disorder, Munchhausen, trichotillomania, ...oh, that's enough. So this was a moderately, though schooled, non-intellectual mostly functional, P/S.
I know that there are self-identified really smart P/S's out there. And they are a marvel in themselves. And I would like to think that at least I would have been smart enough to steer clear of that scenario -- I know, be careful, maybe not. Overt P/S's which I recognized in earlier (un-knowing) days as just being bad news, I did well to avoid.
But this incredible creature did not know that she was a P/S till I informed her after the divorce. She will still deny it. I look back in amazement at her instinctive primitive skill set, and wish that I could "can" and market it some how or other. Maybe the eight years would pay off.
Maybe here I am just trying to put suave on my wounded ego, and correct the notion that I was dumb as hell. But academically, you have to recognize the excellence of any biological creature so geared to survival, albeit an un-happy, desperate, lonely, sorrowful one. And she is that, still pulling her hair out, now broke as I was, and too old to ply her trade as successfully as she did upon me. The next guy can thank me. I served my time.
women who are able to see a sociopath as anything more than a demon don't have the same perspective on "right" and "wrong" when it comes to humanity. Right and wrong draw very clear lines as to which side the sociopath is on compared to a normal person. In reality, it is the situations in a person's life that make anyone what they are.
ReplyDeleteI am just a dumb engineer who laughed at psychology and its associated "studies" as pseudo sciences, trying to gain credibility as a "science". And in my defense when I went to school, that was marginally true. But I should have remained a student and broadened my scope and delved into Hare and the DSM. My loss. And I paid for it.
ReplyDeleteFive plus years after a divorce, after an eight-year marriage/relationship, and I an still paying for it. After about two years of marriage, when the facade fell down, I fooled myself that I was smart enough to figure out how to "engineer" an amicable existence, after all I was raised with three sister, and that was not all bad. I had chips in the game, and kept throwing in more every time there was a raise. Where was this site when I needed it. I should have folded and deserted after the 2nd year!
Enough of the sad story, but here is what I have learned, in a case study (eight years worth and more)that I could probably use as a thesis or dissertation for a degree.
There are all levels of psychopathy (or sociopathy) to which I can respond, that I have found on this site. Contrary to statements here, though some personal statements from P/S's were supportive: Not all P/S's know that they are. Mine did not, unless I have underestimated her again. She was inherently (and hereditarily) excellent at her game, with almost no forethought or planning, complete with lies, cover-up, infidelities, theft, drugs, BPD, narcissism, hysterical personality disorder, Munchhausen, trichotillomania, ...oh, that's enough. So this was a moderately, though schooled, non-intellectual mostly functional, P/S.
I know that there are self-identified really smart P/S's out there. And they are a marvel in themselves. And I would like to think that at least I would have been smart enough to steer clear of that scenario -- I know, be careful, maybe not. Overt P/S's which I recognized in earlier (un-knowing) days as just being bad news, I did well to avoid.
But this incredible creature did not know that she was a P/S till I informed her after the divorce. She will still deny it. I look back in amazement at her instinctive primitive skill set, and wish that I could "can" and market it some how or other. Maybe the eight years would pay off.
Maybe here I am just trying to put suave on my wounded ego, and correct the notion that I was dumb as hell. But academically, you have to recognize the excellence of any biological creature so geared to survival, albeit an un-happy, desperate, lonely, sorrowful one. And she is that, still pulling her hair out, now broke as I was, and too old to ply her trade as successfully as she did upon me. The next guy can thank me. I served my time.
One sees the world through one's own lens. My marriage failed and I am trying to make sense of that. So, that, rightly, is part of my lens, as is your current marriage to a sociopath, on which, I truly wish you well. I wish mine had worked, but it didn't.
ReplyDeleteWht did you stay with Ukan when it wasn't good for your health Missus?
ReplyDeleteHow did Christopher's comment disappear?
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of women who marry for money and security, one being MK. Strangely MK found that in her bunny, and now busy justifying her action as sophisticated understanding of her situation and those who managed to say no to sociopaths as good little girls.
ReplyDeleteMussolini's Ida is a great example in Vincere. One minute she hates him the other she's fantasizing being the First Lady.
MK, what smart life plan do you have with your socio bunny? Do you think you'll get there without killing someone or getting killed? Do you feel you'll be a better counselor because you have your bunny at home? How often is his eyes blood red?
181,798 at 5:55
ReplyDeletewhat would you say if I said that was what I was suspecting and I am not surprised. I had my faith in humanity stripped from me young
ReplyDeletei have known some scary ass motherfuckers
ReplyDeletemissus, Bunny works at night, when you go into practice and work during the day, are you going to leave your child with him?
ReplyDeletecall it a sick comfort zone
ReplyDeletemissus, do you play lighting farts with bunny?
ReplyDeleteI think about this, a lot. I dated a sociopath for a long time and just broke up. Is being a sociopath being mentally ill?
ReplyDeleteI forget this, myself, because they are so charming, not sitting the corner sucking their thumbs, so to speak. However, IS it a mental illness?
They are so cool, so to speak, that one forgets that mental illness is no joke. It is a real thing just like physical illness is. The person cannot "help" it, but the person cannot expected to be anything but what he is, and people need to be forewarned and armed, so to speak, to deal with it.
What do you all think? Do you think sociopaths are mentally ill?
A personality disorder is not considered a 'mental illness' by the psychiatric/psychological field.
ReplyDelete"As a psyche nurse" I'd think you'd know this.
I am musing as a person, not throwing out "terms" with exactitude of clinical usage. I was just thinking about how being a sociopath plays out, in a practical way. One can get lost in terms. I mean my question in regards to what can one expect from a sociopath. What should one expect? Would one expect an amputee to run a race? Can one expect a sociopath to function in a non "mentally ill" way, in practical terms?
ReplyDeleteit's really up to the sociopath to decide. they weigh the consequences of their own actions.
ReplyDeleteI didn't have a lot of money when we met, anon, nor would anyone marry a drug dealing sociopath for security. What's interestig is how some of you are haphazardly firing off reasons in your mind why our marriage is a sham to justify your own failures. For instance Monica just said MK was oversimplifying and without skipping a beat anon is saying that she is justifying herself with sophisticated understanding.
ReplyDeleteNo one is dissing Missus, Ukan. We are just discussing our own lives and musing on them. I did not mean a personal affront to her. My marriage failed, so I come from a painful place, as I said.
ReplyDeleteukan was not bad for my health. He was actually wonderful. I was bad for my own health. I had unhealthy habits. My husband was actually surprisingly patient, and very insightful, in an invaluably rational way, that i needed to see myself through. He was just who he was. I had growing I had to do, and I'm glad he was there to help me. He had lessons that i hadn't been able to learn on my own from my culture and experience.
ReplyDeleteI'm not taking it as such. I'm pointing out what your doing. With the victims in here you tend to look at everyone else but yourselves for the issues you faced in your relationship. You see positive relationships and you project your failures on them. In the end you are stagnate because you don't understand that you are the problem.
ReplyDeleteTo caroline, lance Armstrong competed valiantly to win the tour du France. Sometimes adversity is a tool. Or illness as you say is not bad, but Useful.
ReplyDeleteCaroline, you and Monica keep trying to lump certain traits and behaviors as being bad, but those are farce. Good and bad is a way for people to comprehemd balance.
For example, someone who is polite, sweet, and philanthropic is not necessarily good, they're often afraid, or daunted. But they value those traits. Sometimes people value ambition, drive, fortitude. Both are not in and of themselves strengths or weakness, and in order for either to function adequately there needs to be a balance of both. So a sociopath is not a bad person, sometimes they're a capable person. Part of the balance, as a nice person can be considered weak. These traits have uses, and cannot always be considered good or bad.
I am thinking about what you are saying, Missus. I need to spend time thinking about it!
ReplyDeleteIs there a support group for people trying to recover from a sociopath?
ReplyDeleteMiss K.,
I don't disagree with the observations you are offering. I would only say that they do nothing to address the emotional damage done in the process of intimacy with a sociopath.
As always, Missus, you give me food for thought!
ReplyDeleteFor example, I am diplomatic, polite, charming, socially inclined, rational and amiable. I am not ambitious,driven, goal oriented, or competitive.
ReplyDeleteMy Husband is typically the opposite of all of those things. He can be rational but in this case I mean he is temperamental. Where I have one strength, he may have a weakness. Where I have a weakness, he has a strength. In society, these traits function the same sociologically. so neither is definitively good or bad.
Does that make sense?
So when you say a sociopath is a sick person, or a bad person, perhaps they are just an inverse of yourself, and something in your case to be avoided, as you may or may not have the complimentary traits to be in a balanced or useful relationship.
emotional damage is just something you have to be made stronger by. That you have to figure out how to deal with on your own.
ReplyDeleteMissus, I have not done life well, to date. I am looking for new paradigms. I am listening to what you say and appreciate your POV.
ReplyDeleteThank you for explaining, Missus.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't a trick question or ment to offend.
I'm not offended. And even if you are, a lot of the reason I'm on this site is because my husband said people here didn't understand why I'm with him or how. These are questions I don't mind elaborating on. They aren't things I'm insecure about, so I don't consider it to be ammunition, even if that is what you're looking for.
ReplyDeleteMentally ill? Ha ha. I like how you try to snipe with all of your passive aggressive terms and analogies comparing sociopaths to someone that has amputated legs. In reality you are insulting yourself. I mean I have to ask, if sociopaths are mentally ill what does that make their victims? Mentally retarded? If they are disabled mentally like someone with amputated legs what does that say for you?
ReplyDeleteHow many times have you wished you would be happy not caring. That you could just go through life breaking laws and rules because you value doing what you please over anythig else? That you could charm people with ease. I know a lot of people here secretly wish they could just say fuck it all and not give a toss about all the shite that drags on them like weights everyday. We aren't mentally ill we are just ahead of the game.
Sociopathy use to be called, Moral Embicile's because they have respect for boundries, laws, social structures or other humans. No one has rights but them.
ReplyDeleteTo the degree that they take their entitlement to do what ever they want could cross over to mental illness.
We used to burn people at the stake to get the evil spirits out of them. Fortunately psychology has evolved. Sociopathy is not a mental illness. Welcome to 2011.
ReplyDeletedemon puppets dominated today
ReplyDeleteAn amputated leg isn't an 'illness' either.
ReplyDeleteLol. Indeed it isn't.
ReplyDeleteEveryone is dealt adversity in their life, and it isnt about what's right or wrong, it's about what works and what doesnt.
To say that being self centered is a mental handicap even would only really work if all the sociopaths you meet struggle every day with their disregard for the law and others emotional well being. I'd have to say it's effective, generally, and that few sociopaths have complaints about their handicap hindering their happiness.
I do, however, understand your desire to blame the people who dont follow your value system for your unhappiness. But a value system is chosen, and if it's hindering you and your success, change it. If you don't like the results of your values, change them. Don't blame people for being opportunistic and advantageous on your self righteousness. Judgement is a hindrance. They are what thy are, and you are what you are.