"Can I help you?"
"Yes, do you stock Shure microphones?" I was half hoping that he wouldn't know, and would just send us downstairs to where the DJ stuff was (and the exit).
"Sure, I'll take you down. What are you looking for?"
"SM-57s," I responded, choosing what I consider the rarer model that he would be less likely to know about.
"Oh, are you doing some recording or something?"
"No, sound reinforcement."
"Oh, ok. Well, here they are."
"How many do you have in stock?"
"How many do you need?"
"I don't know, maybe 5 or more? It's for my brother, I told him I would swing by and check to see if you had them in your inventory."
"Well, we should have at least 5, maybe as many as a dozen."
"How much are they?"
"XX"
"Do you do any sort of bulk discount?"
"Only for orders of several dozen or more."
"Not even like a 10% something?
"Sorry man, no."
"Ok, thanks. I'll let him know. Thanks for your help."
My friend asked as we left, "What was that? Do you really need microphones."
"No," I replied, "I was just making sure they would remember us if it came to complaining about a tow charge, and it was on our way out anyway."
"It's unsettling to see how fluently you lie. I mean, I thought I knew from the start that it was a lie, but then you kept adding these odd details and follow-up questions that normal people wouldn't think to include in a lie and I started to wonder myself. You did that same thing on our trip a couple years ago with those city rats -- you made up an entire life history on the spot without a single hesitation. It makes me wonder how I would ever be able to tell if you were lying to me."
"Yeah, I know. I say it with just the right earnestness and sincerity. It's sometimes hard for me to tell when I'm lying too."
BTW, Monika, re yesterday's conversation, the person calling you silly was not me. But I do think your perception of an empathic person is a bit skewed.
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS WHERE YOU REPLY MONICA YOU STUPID SLUT
Deletehttp://www.alice-miller.com/articles_en.php?lang=en&nid=44&grp=11
DeleteGottcha All you wonderful helpers. Yellow, here is something from Alice Miller.
Now stfu and hump someones leg that actually cares.
DeleteI just farted
ReplyDeleteI doubt this is considered sociopathic. Sure, we might have it down more than others to pathological degrees, but it's a hallmark of con-men, detectives (legal con-men :P) and teenage girls looking for attention.
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm doing it for whatever reasons, I love adding in details I'm comfortable with. It just gives the lie an air of genuineness and is more effective.
Funny enough, I've done this too for parking, as I'm sure anyone driving around a large metropolitan area has stooped to to save a few bucks on parking.
Designer Kacie Kinzer explores what technology can reveal about empathy and cooperation. So she built a Tweenbot, a cardboard robot equipped only with cuteness and a flag that says help me to elicit help from passersby. With the help of 29 strangers, the tiny robot crossed NYCs Washington Square Park in just 42 minutes.
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/1mf8fXL9zGw
What are your thoughts people ?
I'm thinking pan-handlers and chesters have a potential to crank the creepy level to 11.
DeleteTNP, stop being a pathetic wanker, no one wants to hear your opinion.
DeleteWhat's a chester?
DeleteProbably a pedo.
DeleteWho hasn't shamelessly lied when returning stuff at dept stores after opening the product and re-taping the package? I used to make up pretty lies too. Now I don't give a shit. Too much effort. I might just say I changed my mind. They might say it's a woman's prerogative. Sweet. But no, this is hardly sociopathic. It's just getting what you want. Your money back.
ReplyDeletePeople are waking up all over the globe. They are beginning to see that they are prisoners within there own countries. Slaves to the system. The poor continue to be poor because giving to them take away from the middle class, the ritch etc. The system is evil and it's followers become just as evil.
DeleteI use and return rubbers.
ReplyDeleteIt looks a though a troll slipped up yesterday exposing herself. Keeping in mind SHE is the one that says she is a SHE.
ReplyDeleteI understand that psychopaths can't help being what they are. I understand that psychopathy is not a choice and so on. I know it's unfair to hate someone for having born a certain way, but if you tolerate absolutely everything, you tolerate evil, too. Why should we tolerate evil?
ReplyDeleteEmpathy = goodness. That's just the way it is. If you don't have empathy, you are evil. Being evil is not a choice. Evil actions don't make you evil; being evil and doing evil are not the same thing, and most good people are capable of committing evil acts. If you are born evil, then you are evil. It's very simple. If you are born evil, you may try to behave nicely, but it doesn't change what you are. This may seem merciless. It is merciless. But, at the end of the day, what you do is more important than what you are.
But actions speak louder than words. Don't they? If I perceive my actions and all others perceive my actions as "good" but I have little empathy, I'm still evil?
DeleteYes
DeleteThat's ridiculous! Actions define you, not empathy or lack thereof. In the end, what you do matters more than what you do or don't feel.
DeleteYour actions depend on where in the world you are. Or on what street. They are subjective to the environment and the crowd watching.
DeleteSTFU Anon, you are rediculas
DeleteHuh huh ?
Delete*takes out compact, applies a li'l gloss*
DeleteBabygirl if you met you "gf" in a chat room, crowd be watchin arite.
Well color me a nigga, I shoulda said that in the otha thraid down below. Below my pussy anonys.
DeleteLOL Sadie
DeleteSorry, but I'm confused. You say that being evil and doing evil are different things and that good people can do evil things and still be good and when evil people do good they're still evil. Then you turn around and say what you do is more important than what you are? Those are two separate, incompatible ideas! If actions are more important, than someone who is 'evil' but does good things is GOOD. Someone who is 'good' but does evil is BAD.
DeleteAnd you REALLY think empathy = good? It makes being nice a little easier, sure, but that doesn't mean it's good! Besides that, are you REALLY going to condemn large portions of the population as evil just because of the way their brain is wired, even if they behave in a moral manner? I'd say you're the evil one, here.
Thanks, Yellow.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you click reply under the person that you are replying too ? Are do you lack the brain power to figure that simple task out ?
DeleteMHM Feb 6, 2012 08:09 PM
DeleteUse the threaded replies Monica et. al. They were practically created for you. Fuck.
good god Monica, shut up. You are an embarrassment to all of us. You are embarrassing. And I hope to good god a troll. Pretty much everything you say is drenched in utter pathetic ness. Even I have no sympathy for you. Just go away. I'm serious. Go away. And please, reply to this in a manner that isn't pathetic ot sycophantic and I may just respond. If you don't respond, I'll know for sure you are a troll
DeleteLOL a person can't make a simple mistake around this place.
DeleteYou are not a simple person. You are a cluster fuck.
DeleteI got you, all, out of your holes for a discussion :)
DeleteOr maybe I just like talking to myself. I do feel dizzy today.
Deleteim ready for you to make your point with me monica. i want to know what the enlightened witness is all about. give me quotes from the book and break it down nice and long-like. i also want to know when your girlfriend was diagnosed as a sociopath and what age. is that a hard question for you to answer?
DeleteI don't have to answer anything from you. You are nothing to me, hiding behind your Anon.
DeleteGet a life!
Anon That was not I. I am respectful. If anyone is not, it is not I. I will read your post and try to answer. You missed your calling----lawyer :)
DeleteOk Anon The Enlightened Witness(EW) can be anyone. The person does not need training. Training can make it worse, as therapists hide behind their intellect, often. The EW can be a janitor, a grandmother, a teacher, a priest, or a friend. The EW needs certain traits. That is the defining nature of an EW---these personal traits, inherent to the person. My g/f has them. She is a sociopath, but that is NOT the defining trait. She, just, happens to have them.
DeleteMy g/f was not diagnosed. She came to the realization she did not have empathy, on her own. She does not want to be diagnosed and cannot be, as she is going in to a field, to which a diagnosis would make it impossible for her to enter.
DeleteThese are the bare bone traits of the EW. You will see how rare they are, if you just look around.
DeleteThe EW must be able to listen to anything without trying to fix, in ANY way. The EW does not teach or instruct. The EW allows you to tell your truth to another human being. The EW cannot judge, obviously. The reason most empaths cannot do this, is that it hurts them too much to hear painful feelings. They jump in to fix or mitigate. Then, the person shuts up to spare the other person having to bear one's pain.
That is the bare bones of the EW, Anon.
I have a very special relationship with her. Not only does listen to me, but she is great with a strap-on. She really knows how to nail my arse good!
DeleteThanks Yellow.
DeleteI have a new friend, an empath. I thought he and I could be this to each other, but I see he cannot bear it. This shows me the rarity of the EW. It is, practically, nonexistent.
DeleteSometimes I just need to shut up.
DeletePeople are jealous if anyone has a real convo, around here.
DeleteLike, maybe I should just made a fucking profile already. Because really when you think about it, it is people like me that are too fat and fucking lazy to actually make a fucking simple profile, so as to not flood SW with random names. Maybe I should grow some fucking balls, and make a profile.
DeleteI think i see now what you are saying monica. that out of all the people on this planet, you found one of the rarest forms ever to live and breath. and out of all the people who breath life on this planet this very rare person has chosen to break bread with you. share their special gift with only you. am i right in thinking this is what you're saying?
DeleteWhat I am saying is that she and I found a rare fit.
Deleteso what is it about you that is so rare? that's what you are saying also right? that you are rare and she is rare and that's why you fit? what do you do for her that no one else can?
Deletei also want to know how it is that someone even came to know these almost nonexistent humans exist? if thay are so incredibly rare, how is it this doctor even knew to write a book about them? that sounds fishy to me. like it might be made up. are you sure you even understand the book you read?
DeleteOk, Anon, I think I am rare in several ways, many not good. One is that I was forced to subsume my energy to a raving Narcissist. Second, I want to die as a person, and not a nobody. Third, I don't seem to give up on this passion.
Deletea couple of people who posted yesterday said something that makes me think you don't even know what your book is talking about. like you're changing the story to fit you ideals. is that what you are doing here monica? changing the story you read to fit your magical thinking?
Deleteso you DO think you are a rare person then? like you are special somehow? and then you met this other rare person. it's like fate then. is that what you believe? that fate has brought together these 2 rare people for a special purpose?
DeleteRead Alice Miller "The Drama of the Gifted Child"
DeleteShe was rejected by mainstream psychiatry, as she is a rebel and novel. However, one can see that she is a genius and she knows of what she speaks, in my opinion.
Anon, to be an authentic person is rare. I strive for this, which is rare. Anyone can choose to do this. Most people are content to be cookie cutters. I am not, so I may be rare. At any rate, I want to die as a person, with an identity. That is my sole goal, honed down to a word.
Deletei don't understand how it is that you don't already have an identity now? how is that possible? so you believe you are authentic? you are an unusual person monica. would you say that you are gifted like the child your book speaks of?
DeleteI don't feel as if I have an identity. If you study the myths of Echo and Narcissus, I was forced to be Echo. Echo mirrors,
DeleteAm I authentic? No, as I don't know who I am, yet.
As to the "Drama of the Gifted Child", every child is gifted. Gifted is not about intelligence. It is about one's being.
Deletein what way did echo mirror? i thought she was in love with narcissus and he was too busy being in love with his own reflection to know she was even there. and still she watched after him hoping for the day he would notice her. the water he gazed into was the mirror in the story, no? i don't remmeber echo being a mirror. are you sure you understand that story?
Deleteand you still haven't answered my question about what you give to your girlfriend that no one else can? i also don't understand how someone who has no identity even knows if she is rare or not. how are you even able to comprehend other people without your own identity? how are you able to give yourself to someone if you are no one?
DeleteMonica lies. Here I am, adding another reply. There is no reply limit.
DeleteLOL you guys will fight about anything
DeleteAnon---very profound questions. I suppose the answer would be that I am not "nobody". I am just not enough of a sense of "I". The difference is in degree, not in kind, as you said. I am able to give WHAT I have of myself, to another person. That may be 40%. However, I am hoping to get another 30%, if one could quantify it. Do you understand, Anon?
DeleteAlso, Anon, in my forcing myself to act from my inner core, I am finding my definition. So, one builds up the other. They enhance, jointly, if you know what I mean.
DeleteGosh I don't even know which one is me !
ReplyDeleteIthink most of you here know I am a troll. You have called me out a few times already, most recently "notme" in yesterdays post. So I really don't care actually, I stand by what I say here on SW. Take it or leave it.
ReplyDelete10 fake Monica's. I am a popular lady :) :)
ReplyDeleteNo, actually just one, that posted 10 times. Boy, I'm more stupid than people think I am.
DeleteWhoever this is that is using my name on here, I am not very pleased ! Are you trying to tarnish my good name around here ???
Delete23 out of 44 comments.... bored Monica ?
DeleteNo, Fly.
DeleteI used to lie elaborately to my parents. But I've never had much compulsion to do it on any sort of regular basis in the world at large.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is more fun, and potentially more damaging if you're looking to hurt someone. A hurtful lie, won't be taken to personally becaues a person knows it's not actually relevant. Some well worded truth though, that can wound to the core.
I have a tendency to be 'brutally' honest. The more honest you are on a regular basis, the more likely people are to believe you if you do need to slip in some, creative editting, on occasion. Plus as soon as someone catches you in a lie, everything you say or have ever said now comes into question. Not worth it.
Haven baby you know yous my gurl? Cum give yo mamma sum shuga.
Deleteusing the truth is a skill2 i find it to be good exercise
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cR2XilcGYOo
ReplyDeleteshake a leg
Deletehaven how manipulative are bps's?
ReplyDeleteWe're considered pretty manipulative, but not in the same way a sociopath would be considered manipulative.
Deletei've bin diagnosed schizoide aspd and some bps but i think it's sociopathy but i think this diagnosis is verry close
ReplyDeleteborderline i ment not bipolar
Deleteps do you like the music?
ReplyDeletewhat's your favorit drink i know you like wine
ReplyDeleteWine is my alcoholic beverage of choice. otherwise I mostle drink green tea and seltzer water.
Deletedunno what i want but i know how to get it
ReplyDeleteToo much bullshit in this post.
ReplyDelete1. Guitar Center? Really?
2. SM-57s are the most common and the most popular microphones in existence and have been for decades. Rarer model? What? There's no way even some moron working at Guitar Center (redundant) wouldn't know about them. They are practically on every stage in the world.
3. I don't consider this behavior to be sociopathic. That's just wishful thinking and narcissism to think so. I suppose you could call 'haggling' sociopathy if you really wanted to.
There's more bullshit in this post itself than it what you said at Guitar Center.
::laughs:: Who wants to bet M.E. is trying to pull that lie through to us out here. To really push that point home.
DeleteDrama of the Gifted Child is not really about gifted children, Monica is correct about that. But it's not that "every child is gifted" as she says, nor is simply "about one's being," which is the perfect vague and glib answer for someone who doesn't know what they are talking about but wants to sound like they do, as this phrase says absolutely nothing.
ReplyDeleteFYI, Alice Miller herself says:
"When I used the word ’gifted’ in the title, I had in mind neither children who receive high grades in school nor children talented in a special way. I simply meant all of us who have survived an abusive childhood thanks to an ability to adapt even to unspeakable cruelty by becoming numb… Without this ’gift’ offered us by nature, we would not have survived."
OK, cool Medusa. I am glad you clarified that :)
DeleteMonica could not reply to the PROPER place as it was all filled up. Down, boys.
ReplyDeleteAs to the question of Echo. Echo is it's own myth, apart from Narcissus, as I understand it. Each character in a myth is his own unique "person" even though the myth seems to revolve around Narcissus, and he is the most well known, for sure. Echo is undefined, as her definition WAS in wanting Narcissus. To put Echo in modern day terms, she would be an extreme co-dependent.
are you ever going to tell me what you do for your girlfriend or not?
Deleteit sounds like medusa is saying that you don't really know what you are talking about. am i correct in thinking you don't really know what you are saying?
DeleteWhat I do for my girlfriend? I accept that she is a sociopath. She is trying to take her mask off, for the first time, with another human being. In all the clinical talk, you miss the point that we really like each other. We laugh, joke,share our lives and have a good time, too.
Deletei don't think your girlfriend is a sociopath. she sounds like she's just a normal person who has more in common with you than you know because you don't even have an identity. how do you even know what to share with her if you don't have one?
DeleteIs your girlfriend Numby?
DeletePut two people without identities together and it makes for some interesting folie a deux action.
Also, Echo doesn't exist on her own. She only exists in the repetition of someone else. Just like an echo doesn't exist without it's original sound coming first. She is nothing but a reflection, and without something to reflect she dies, doesn't exist. Just like you. You and your book obsessions, you and your special relationship with sociopaths, You and your obsession with other people's ideas as you can't form your own, you and SW.
Echo was also known to have loved the sound of her own voice.
Just like you.
Dont bother. Monica just says the same shite over and over and it ever only barely makes sense. No details. You're banging your head on a troll wall, anon.
DeleteAnyway, I think I can tell the voice of the Anon who was talking to me. I will answer him, only.
Deleteso if you don't have an identity how do you even have your own opinions? who do you imitate so that you seem like a someone instead of a no one? you must be stealing other people's ideas and opinions, yes? that's the only way someone with no identity can seem like they know anything.
DeleteEcho was more of a narcissist that Narcissus was.
DeleteSome people would say she was just a romantic and made of pure unconditional love.
Right.
Obviously thats what she is doing (poorly) with Alice Miller. And she doesnt really seem like she knows anything. Shes a fucking flight attendant. Need I say more?
DeleteMedusa None of these archetypes are "ideals". They are archetypes. Each tells a slice of the human and human behavior. Each is for learning and for growing. One can grow when one identifies one's myth and then tries to remedy it.
DeleteA flight attendant does not define one, Anon.
Monica, your simple mind thinks that we each have an archetype that we are living? Archetypes are facets of the mind. If you are more than an utter simpleton, you should identify with all of the myths in one way or another.
DeleteStop romanticizing yourself. You only do yourself more harm than good.
so you can't share anything you are just the echo of someone else right monica? so you are not even a person in your relationship with your girlfriend. you have no original thought or way of understanding. do you think you are echo or narcissus? maybe you areecho but in the way medusa is describing echo. you are more or a narcissistic than he was. that's why i can't believe your girlfriend is a sociopath. you will only talk all day about yourself. like you have done with me. do you even care enough to get to know me? you haven't asked me one question about me. you are just using my interrogation so you can talk about yourself, aren't you?
DeleteI would LOVE to get to know you, Anon! I was answering your questions, as you requested. Lets talk about you!
Deletewhat do you want to know about me? how did you know I was a male? i never said anything about myself. you said you know my voice. how do you know it?
DeleteI THINK I know your voice, Anon. What do you want to talk about. I am game for anything. You start :)
Deleteno you start. you said you want to get to know me so now it's your turn to ask the questions, no?
DeleteOk, but do you allow only certain questions or is anything game?
Deleteyou can ask me any question you want and if i don't want to answer it i will just say i don't. or i could just lie since we are on a anonymous blog, yes?
DeleteLOL True Well, I have defined what I want. I want a stronger sense of identity. When I die, I want a defined person to die. In the same way, I want a defined person to live. That is what I want from my life. What about you?
Deletei want financial independence and an easy ride. i want to just go where ever whenever i want. i just want to play all the time. i don't want to answer to no one but myself.
DeleteThat is interesting Anon, as I have financial independence.
DeleteSo, as of now, do you feel constrained by your job and financial obligations, mainly?
I will leave a fun question. What is your most favorite thing to do, where you feel the most joy?
DeleteWhat is your favorite book and why :)
DeleteLol. What ever question she asks you about yourself she's going to make it about herself as you can see, anon.
DeleteShe's only pretending to be interested now because you told her to, not because it's genuine.
You can tack a "what about you?" to the end of any statement to make it look like you are actually interested, but it's nothing but an afterthought.
Well, I am not perfect, by any stretch, but I am genuinely interested, Anon.
DeleteI think people get very upset when anyone is having a real convo, around here lol
DeleteYes, of course, it's everyone else that has the problem, in true narc fashion.
DeleteYou, are special, and everyone is jealous of your specialness. That's what this is all about.
i don't work right now. i'm a full time student and my grandparents still pay for my bills. my favorite thing to do is jet skiing at the lakes. i like to race them. my favorite book is gerald's game by
DeleteSteven King. are you pretending to want to know me monica? be honest?
I love Stephen King. My favorite book is The Stand. I read everything up to Misery and then stopped, as he seemed too commercialized imo Well, Anon, one of my positive traits is that I do care. That is genuine. I do not do it, perfectly, as one can't, but I am not faking it.
DeleteWhat did you like about Geraldo's Game? What struck you about it, that it made an impression on you?
Deletewhy do you like that book? you have financial independence? how? what is your age?
DeleteWhat other King books did you like and why? I can only relate to the one's up to Misery, personally, as I said However, that is just what I have read, personally.
Deleteshe was chained to a bed and helpless while a dog came in to eat her dead husband, and a predator slipped in too. i also got a little horny when i read about her dad having a orgasm with her in his lap.
DeleteI do not want to answer certain questions, but I will answer others. Actually, Stephen King brought me to God. I was an agnostic. I was, always, a very deep person, in that I would see kids partying etc and I knew there had to be more to life than superficial things. I was, always, like that, from the time I was a kid. When I read The Stand, I knew I found my soul mate, author wise.
DeleteHe was asking what I wanted to know. Why is there good and evil in the world? King was my first step on a long journey to find God.
i've read fire starter, pet cemetery, carrie, and the shining.
DeleteI read all those, but it has been awhile. I loved The Shining :)
Deletei don't understand your meaning of finding god through king. so he asked some questions about life so what? a lot of writers do that. you say you are a deep person? how are you a deep person with no self?
Deletei don't know why i like stephen kings books i just do. he's sick like me.
"I do not want to answer certain questions, but I will answer others."
DeleteYes, this is your mode operandi. We can tell way more about you by the questions you don't answer than the ones you do. Always.
So in other words, you inherited the wealth and are ashamed at not having actually earned it. Also you make a good case for "idle hands/devil's playground" as many of those who don't have to work for a living do. It's a luxury to be so self-involved, and to have the time for it.
I am not ashamed of my financial position, but how is that germane to our talk? I can have my privacy, as you can have yours, no?
DeleteIt is germane because it's the one question you skipped over. If you are not ashamed then I don't see why you refuse to answer, not even in vague terms.
DeleteIt's fine, though, you can pick and choose what to answer according to what fits your self-image. That's your prerogative.
How am I a deep person with no self? Very good question lol I went in to shock and so could not feel who I was, so I was kind of lost to myself, you could say, if you can understand what I mean. Hence, I suppose I have a solid self, but I can't touch it. So, virtually, I feel selfless or semi selfless :P
Deleteis that other anon correct in say you inherited your money monica? why keep that a secret? i want to know how to be like that.
DeleteOK, I do not care to answer biographical questions, as I am sure you don't, no?
DeleteI inherited wealth. That is out there. Lets move on K?
Delete"OK, I do not care to answer biographical questions"
DeleteYet you have no problem repeating over and over how your mother molested you, and your son died? Yet somehow your financial history is more sacred information? How is it you have so much information about yourself (as evidenced by what you do not answer) that is more sacred/personal than that?
are you mocking me in how i talk monica?
DeleteYes Anon, I was because I feel angry at you.
Deleteso have you never had a job monica? what do you do with yourself with all that money? i would be all over the place. how do you start off with a self and then not be able to touch it?
Deletewhy are you angry at me? i'm not the anon who is saying those other things to you. i thought you said you knew my voice?
DeleteWhat did anon say that made you angry?
DeleteAnon I is being pretty reasonable and non-judgmental in tone as far as I can see. I'd think it would've been Anon II (myself) that would've been the one to make you angry.
What say you?
Anon you are talking very disrespectfully to me. I don't like it.
DeleteWell, it is hard to pick out one Anon from three Anons in one conversation, as you might imagine.
DeleteI knew you would say that. Sigh.
DeleteLOL Well, I am gonna take a little break. The Anon who is insulting me, I obviously don't want to talk to. There is one I wanted to talk to, but it is getting all convoluted.
Deletetell me how you can't touch your self that you once had. i will take a name from you if you are confused by who is which.
Deletewhy are you running away from me again? i thought we were doing so well. how did i mess it up? i want to talk to you right now. i might not be back on later.
DeleteI dunno, seems less convoluted actually as I've been using "Anonymous II" for the past several comments and use capitalization.
DeleteAw, one Anon seems very sweet. Ok, I will try to re-focus.
DeleteOk how I cannot touch myself is that I am in shock, like when you have novacaine, at the dentist, but my whole being is in shock.
DeleteSo, whatever I do or wherever I go, it is the same. I can't feel anything.
Delete"Aw, one Anon seems very sweet."
DeleteA sociopath/non-empath that talks sweet and is charming? How is that possible? IT MAKES NO SENSE! WHY WOULD A SOCIOPATH ACT ALL NICE?
I cannot figure it out.
shock from what? so you have an identity but you are blocked off from it? do you feel blocked off from everyone around you too? do you live alone or are you in a relationship?
DeleteWell, I don't want to answer the specifics of a relationship. I feel blocked off from everyone, from the numbness, even when I am around people, which I am, a lot. My prison is inside, not outside. I can be very friendly and I am. I am well liked and can act fine.
DeleteYou have said in the past that you are afraid to leave the house.
DeleteIt makes sense that you wouldn't be able to feel much if you are wrapped up in yourself and your quest for your "self", as you are detached from the world around you. It's difficult to feel anything when you remove yourself so far away from things that would make you feel something. There is no room there for anyone or anything else.
You want to feel something? The most logical thing would be to break out of your self-created prison and see that life is everywhere, and not just inside you. More experience, less thinking.
It may seem counter-intuitive, but have you ever considered that this "self" you are looking for is actually out there waiting for you in the outside world? And I don't mean your sociopath girlfriend, I mean life itself.
Have you ever been in shock, Anon? I had too much trauma so I became numb and feel like I live in a dream.
Deleteso you are around a lot of people all of the time? so do you do charity work or have a lot of hobbies? if you have so much money why are you a flight attendant? or am i confused? you should be all over the place and why can't you just decide to move past your shock?
DeleteWith all due respect, I would just like to talk to Anon 1, not Anon 11.
DeleteWhat I mean is, your girlfriend plays the role of a "proxy" for living life, a substitute for life, a filter, a prism, a symbol. Like you only know how to experience life through the life and words of another, be it a person or a book.
DeleteI have a lot of hobbies and work. Those are not my issues. I have a lot of friends, too. I can't seem to step out of the numb but my g/f and now, another wonderful friend, are helping.
Delete"With all due respect, I would just like to talk to Anon 1, not Anon 11."
DeleteThat is not surprising in the least Monica, and for reasons which it's clear you don't understand. Not just because you think I'm "mean".
Nevertheless I can continue talking if I like, just like you.
I suppose I want to come out of the numb. That is my search for the Enlightened Witness, so I can talk and cry and hope this numb will break, which it IS!!
DeleteAnon 11
DeleteYou can talk, but it is not helpful for me, when you do, with all due respect. I know the rap. I know the words. They don't help. I don't mean this, rudely, even if it sounds so.
If I don't answer, I will come back, later, or tomorrow. Thank you Anon 1. x x
Deleteif you are numb then how are you able to joke and laugh and write exclamation points at the end of your sentences? are you really numb or do you just not know who you are out of faking it for so long?
Deletedo you really stay locked up in your house?
LOL You are funny Anon, so smart and quick. I don't stay locked in my house. How can I have a laugh and joke? I AM coming out of the numb. I have been coming out from my g/f and my activities, but I am not all of the way out, yet. I am maybe 45% --50% out.
Deletebut i want to talk now. don't leave me in suspense now that i'm so interested in you. if you don't have anything else to do then why not stay here with me?
DeleteOh, you are adorable Anon :)
Deletedo you have a boyfriend or are you and that s girl in a relationship?
DeleteI have a relationship but it is not good. I am trying to think clearly, so I can make a wise move, with it. I like how the other people let us talk lol
Delete"I have a relationship but it is not good."
DeleteIs it the same relationship that brought you to SW?
NO Thank Goodness, that one is gone. I was so silly with that one.
DeleteWell that's good to hear. I hope the new relationship is at least somewhat improved from that one, or at least that the way you choose to respond has improved.
Deleteso is it a guy you have a relationship with? you're not a lesbian? because when you talk about your girlfriend you sound like you're in love with her or something. so you are not in a good relationship? who are these 'other people' who are letting us talk?
DeleteWell, the old one was the first time I started coming out of the numb. I was so attached to him. I cried hours of tears, at night, and as I did, the numb started going away. I am so thankful, he went away. Now, I would never take him back. What about you?
DeleteI am not a lesbian. I love her but I am not attracted to woman.
Deletewhat do you think about me? how old are you? i just turned 22. i like dating older women though. girls my age don't know what they're doing and they cry a lot.
DeleteLOL all these Anons. There are 3 different voices, here.
DeleteAnon 1 I am going to go, for now. I will be back, tomorrow. Good Night :)
Deletewhy are you going so early? give me one good reason why you have to go right now.
DeleteReply click reply no need to add comment unless you are creating a new train of thought it isnt that hard people
ReplyDeleteAnon
ReplyDeleteI think once the replies hit a certain point, you cannot add more.
That's a lie, or you are retarded, because I just did it. Scroll up.
DeleteI'm going to post this a bit off topic in here since the other threads are not being commented on anymore.
ReplyDeleteI have wondered for a long time if I was a sociopath, some sort of autist or plain 'bad'. It seems like it is a common theme among posters here. I would postulate that most of you are not sociopaths but intelligent people with learned anti-social behaviours due to neglect or abuse. How many of you had a bad childhood (perhaps with a parent who was a real sociopath).
I 'feel' conflicted in this because while I share most of the traits of a sociopath, most notably the lack of strong and real emotions (I feel, but only briefly, like grasping at a leaf which is taken by the wind and gone forever). I sometimes feel like 'humanity' is just within reach, but never able to complete grab hold of it. Do you recognize this feeling? On the other hand, I generally couldn't care less about most people.
I do think that 90% of people are dumb as rocks sheep and behave exactly like it. Most people in power must be sociopaths then, because they obviously think the same way in that they totally and utterly manipulate the so called 'normal' people. They make them belive the most insane tales, get them stand in huge crowds to worship some rock star or massmurderer genocidal madman (Hitler, Stalin whomever), while it seems like their so called empathy only makes them out as a organic part of the Borg collective. How can anyone witness the sheer and utter stupidity of a concert and not be appalled by it?
Creatures of frequent emotion disgust me. They throw around their emotions without disregard, in effect, cheapening it until it has no value at all. How can you feel 'special' by the emotional attention from someone who will cry during the most silly, constructed and manipulative Hollywood bullshit?
Yet despite these feelings, which likely seem very offensive to most 'normal' people, I am not sure I am a sociopath. My stepfather was and is a true sociopath. The difference between me and him is that there is and has never been a single moment of doubt or self reflection about is abusive and destructive actions. I remember the beatings he dished out to me and my mother once and the next day there would be absolutely no remorse or even an acknoledgement of his action only more tyrrany. He always saw himself as the victim in spite of the obvious crimes he commited. This is what I think is the mark of a true psycopath.
My guess is that a lot of people who are labeled sociopaths may very well fit that description but they are so because they adapted to growing up in caos, hurt and manipulation by real psycopaths. Feelings are dangerous in such an enviroment, where anger or rage at injustice would mean more abuse.
Just wondering. It would me much easier for me to actually go ahead and commit to being a sociopath and go for business success, since I'm verifiably intelligent and already have had considerable career success, but somehow I would like to think that it's possible to reclaim the missing feelings and humanity in my life.
That doesn't excuse the majority dumbass 'oh so feely' people. You are the ones who enable psychopaths because of your lack of rational thought and emotional self control.
You sound more schizoid
DeleteI would postulate that most of you are not sociopaths but intelligent people with learned anti-social behaviours due to neglect or abuse.
DeletePeople come in and make this observation at least weekly. I think you are mostly correct, though, in a sense. But if you think about it, what you just said is the genesis of most sociopathy, so that's neither here nor there.
I also think intelligence in itself garners 'sociopath-like' perspectives, because the more intelligent can more easily see the forest for the trees, and to do so requires some amount of detachment. There a bit of a chicken-egg thing going on there.
It would me much easier for me to actually go ahead and commit to being a sociopath and go for business success
There's no need to commit to 'sociopathy'. That just kind of doesn't make sense.
Couldn't you instead just say, "commit to being a good business man"? That way, you can still play around with 'missing feelings and humanity' without fear of betraying the 'sociopath' label (which is already a weird logic).
Sure, being a 'good businessman' and being a 'sociopath' have overlapping traits, but I don't see the use in pigeonholing yourself if it's not necessary.
Do you think the term 'sociopathy' would give you permission to act a certain way?
Thanks, that was actually a helpful suggestion. Reading about it now and it makes a lot of sense.
DeleteWhat does, being schizoid?
DeleteHow can anyone witness the sheer and utter stupidity of a concert and not be appalled by it?
DeleteI can't not be appalled/fascinated. This is why I chose to be on the other side of the stage, and don't much like going to (rock, etc.) shows except for research purposes.
('Classical' concerts are something else though, as they have a difference purpose. At least for me. As it's about experiencing the music, as opposed to experiencing the audience, unless you got off on being a snooty-snot pretentious fuck.)
@Medusa
ReplyDelete"Do you think the term 'sociopathy' would give you permission to act a certain way?"
To an extent yes. If I truly am unable to ever experience full range of emotions as other people do, I don't see why I should hold myself back based on some sort of mainstream morality of right and wrong. Why play by the rules of a group of people who love to see you hung from a lamppost if they discovered your true being. Why do good for people who can't and don't want to relate to you? If on the other hand, I am suffering from some sort of other mental problem I would rather choose to fight for that small chance and try to be a normal human being. You see the dilemma?
Like, practically, I just got a very wellpaid job, not in the least because of my complete control of my emotions (or lack there off). I just never pursued this direction, but I am now aware that I could actually do that and likely be very succesful since intelligence and emotional disregard is what is characteristic for most people in power.
The point is, why do you need the word 'sociopathy' to justify your perspective?
DeleteCan't you still have the same perspective without it?
Sounds to me like you are caught in the middle of a figurative 'good vs. evil' battle within yourself and you are not sure which way to go, as if they are two separate paths that never will intersect once you finally 'choose' which fork in the road to take.
You're staring in to her gaze. She has got you now.
ReplyDeleteJust like Medusa.
DeleteWho's gaze would that be then?
DeleteWorks either way, really.
DeleteLook at what happens when you leave Raven. Just look.
DeleteHa! She's been needing it so badly. I'm surprised her head didn't explode before now. Where the fuck has she been getting rubbed these last months?
DeleteOnline.
DeleteYes, but where online? Not here. It's been a long time since she was rubbed the right way here.
ReplyDeleteI'd assume the socio gf. If you mean 'rubbed' as in diddled, as opposed to abused, that is. Is there a difference? Probably not. Maybe that's what you are saying?
DeletePretend I pressed 'reply'.
ReplyDelete