My practioner had been trying to engage me in yes and no conversation (me grunting replies) and I had been too distracted. I decided to become fully engaged in the conversation. I focused on the sound of his voice and thought of the way he enunciated his fricatives. I emphasized that hissing exhalation of noise in my mind until it became one, continuous rushing of air like the sound of waves crashing on a beach. And the pain was the dull pull of the waves around my ankles -- pushing and receding and swirling the sand around my feet.
I was amazed at what a difference shifting my attention had made in my perception of the pain (my practitioner was amazed at my lack of pain as well). I have a relative who is a physician and will frequently hypnotize his patients so I am aware that the perception of pain is largely mental. I have even endured periods of intense pain without realizing it. The oddest thing about the whole situation is that now, many hours later, the parts of my mouth that were treated during the initial period in which I was amplifying the pain are still quite tender. The parts that were treated while I was ignoring the pain are not in the least. It could be that the first parts of the procedure were actually more physically invasive, but they weren't. It could be that my practioner started poorly and got better by the end. Could it also be that my physical tissues remember the pain differently because I felt the pain differently while it was happening?
Even more interesting to me was thinking about all of these people in the world that focus on their pain. Everyone knows someone like this. No matter what happens to them, they always seem to be miserable. My friend and I were just talking about a mutual acquaintance of ours who is this way. He always complains that he has the worst job in the world. He's a journalist. Before that he was a solicitor. Now he covers legal news, primarily by hanging out at the courthouse and watching legal proceedings or getting dirt from shady sources. Does this sound like the worst job in the world? He was so envious when I was funemployed that he quit his job and was still miserable.
I am infinitely fascinated by empaths (hyperbole), so I wonder -- is this why some empaths can be so miserable? If anything, I am almost blissfully happy 90% of the time, whatever my circumstances happen to be at the moment. Empaths seem to be complaining all the time. Maybe I am doing a better job making good decisions than they are, but I think at least part of it has to do with my ability/choice to amplify happiness rather than pain.
Zoe is this using dissociation as a tool?
ReplyDeleteyeah, apparently
Deletei used to do acrobatics type performances and would have these wicked bruises sometimes afterward. but you feel nothing at the time.
is that the sociopathic natural state then, a high focus state? or a natural ability to enter that state under stress? almost anyone can enter this state when under stress to perform. except for maybe low functioning empaths?
M.E. I used to think you were cool.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting, M.E.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar experience when I had to have some emergency abdo surgery under epidural. The epidural failed miserably due to the sheer incompetence of the anaesthesiologist and let me tell you, the pain was unbelievable. I made myself concentrate on the surgeon's voice and it suddenly felt very surreal, the pain greatly diminished. Funniest thing is, I was fully expecting to have lots of post op pain, but found I had almost none. The surgeon reviewed me and said: "usually we say take it real easy for 6 weeks.. let pain be your guide, but in your case, do whatever the hell you want!"
I have a relative who is an empath, and this woman has problems... that she discusses at length and in great detail. I mean not only financial, relationship, children related, but also health problems. I get a great rundown of every boil, fungal infection, irregular/offensive bowel motion.. etc in full gory detail (whether I want it or not). She wouldn't listen to any advice though, just wants to bitch, bitch, bitch.
i have one of those!! relative, not boil that is.
Deleteshe doesn't need you for advice, only as a conduit. she's poisoning herself with her thoughts and expelling them at you.
I have a few ex friends like that. I had to get rid of them. Talk about calling sociopaths bloodsuckers !
Delete1st
ReplyDeleteFascinating ME. You define independent thinker imho.
ReplyDeleteI have been thinking about this all day, particularly how one part of your gums was tender and the other was not. That is amazing! It reminded me of fire walking if you have ever studied that.
DeleteClean that shit on your forum, fucker M.E..
ReplyDeleteIt's probably M.E. Doing it. He/she wants everyone back in the comments section.
DeleteAre you implying that we are being manipulated? What a thrilling notion ...
DeleteWhy is it that sociopaths want the empaths and the world
ReplyDeleteto accept WHO they are with full knowledge that they were
born a sociopath while not accepting the empaths for who
they are? It shows that sociopaths are not as intelligent
as they believe and that they really are narcissistic
hyprocrites. I realize that it is OK to be a hypocrite
with sociopaths but don't you see the lack of intelligence
that shows?
You're the retard that's lacking intelligence in my opinion. What makes you think that Socio's don't accept empath's for what they are? The whole reason we can do what we do, is because we fully understand and accept them, use that information to manipulate them.
DeleteAs for wanting to be accepted, I think that's just a trait of humanity.
This has nothing to do with empathy levels and everything to do with what your brain is able to simultaneously process. It actually physically affects you too. Properly trained, people can endure extremely invasive and normally physically traumatizing events with little harm or pain.
DeleteIt's rare, and damn must it suck to learn the hard way, but it is possible.
I've seen a guy shove surgical steel rods through his arm and face without so much as bleeding, and pain receptors not even lighting up during a brain scan. It's not because he's some loony or has brain damage, he moved to India for years and studied under Yogis who could do the same thing. Somehow, I doubt their hygiene wasn't as stringent as his though. :P
As far as general awareness goes, you can't actually track everything your brain processing at any given moment. Like just now, your eyes see everything on the desk, but _you_ don't actually "pay attention" to everything on your computer desk. Same goes for pain, pleasure, et cetera.
Being able to do it to yourself is something I can do as well, something I pretty much have to now that I'm dealing with this cancer bullshit. My constant nausea, pain, and general "oh my god everything sucks" is just too overwhelming to process all at any given time. So right now, I know my stomach hurts, and its not fun, but before I wrote this, my neck pain, back pain, bruises and throat weren't bothering me. I didn't even notice it until I thought about it.
Same goes for your procedure and it's aftermath.
TNP, if you're not already meditating, you might want to try zen meditation as a way to manage the pain
DeleteWhy aren't you dead yet, fucker? This cancer's rotting you from the inside and out, might aswell put a bullet in your head to put an end to your misery. You're nothing but an old man with no family, no money, nothing. You're no better than this handicapped girl I laughed at yesterday.
ReplyDeleteYou are so pathetic, Extremity. I'd recommend you to take your own advice, but you're not even worth a bullet. Better you choke on your own bullshit. Enrich the gene pool by removing youself from it and finally do something altruistic in your miserable existence.
DeleteYeah I'm not dead yet. You're already lifeless. You're like a bloated, discoloured, foul smelling, washed-up arm with the skin falling off the bones. You stink.
ReplyDeletelol. don't mess with TNP, Extremity
ReplyDeleteRIGHT!
DeleteWhat is he going to do? Go after me with his rascal scooter? If anything, karma got him for those pathetic people he hurt.
Deletescooter This place is.... no words for it.
DeleteM.E. wrote..
ReplyDeleteThe oddest thing about the whole situation is that now, many hours later, the parts of my mouth that were treated during the initial period in which I was amplifying the pain are still quite tender. The parts that were treated while I was ignoring the pain are not in the least.
very cool
George Zimmerman is a Sociopath
ReplyDeleteMental tricks to pain management involve either trying to distract from / ignore the pain, or to actively concentrate on the pain. The latter works amazingly well, I make the sensation abstract, sometimes enough to make the pain feel good.
ReplyDeleteMate this is a very nice blog here. I wanted to comment & say that I enjoyed reading your posts & they are all very well written out. You make blogging look easy lol I’ll attemp to start a blog later today and I hope it’s half as good as your blog! Much success to you!
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ReplyDelete