Good question. My first idea while reading your email was to neutralize his power over you. In interpersonal relationships, information is only powerful if/when someone has it and the other person doesn't know or doesn't want it disclosed. Someone sent me this clip recently from the Stephen Colbert show. The gist was that the guest was a "person of interest" in the United States' war on terror. Although not charged with anything concrete, the POI was asked to remain in touch with the FBI. In part in compliance but more in protest, the POI began sending the FBI many emails a day with photos and other information about his daily activities, including pictures of his meals and toilet breaks. At the end of the clip, the POI advocates a "market approach" to combatting government overreaching for information. Specifically he argues that information is only valuable to intelligence agencies if they are the only ones who know that information or if the party that is the subject of that information does not know that they have the information or does not want it disclosed. By making his information not only available to the FBI, but publicly available on his website, he has robbed that information of any value.
Similarly, a lot of people have tried to identify me from the blog. I know that it is basically inevitable that I will be outted in some way, so I have plans to sort of out myself -- or a glass closet. By outting myself in a way that I am comfortable with, I hope to remove the temptation for others to out me.
Other than that, ways of getting one up on him are probably context specific and situational. Just being aware of opportunities will help out a lot. But it's good you're doing this. He's much less likely to keep you in the toy box if he sees you as a playmate rather than a toy.
If he doesn't have a history of smearing his old flings and is instead a collector-type (he collects trophies) then you really don't have anything to worry about if you just break it off and ignore him. It will make him really mad at first, but if you maintain your resolve and cut him out of your life, he will get bored and move on.
ReplyDeleteCollect any and all threats, emails, text messages, et cetera, just don't make it known that you have. It's one big mind game at that point that reflects Mutually Assured Destruction. Neither can strike without the other striking back.
Remember that this is your fault for not being vigilant enough. You let your guard down around a sexually deviant creep, now it's time to pay the price. Cut your losses and move on.
Again to the writer of the email featured in the previous post:
ReplyDeleteThis post appears to have little to do with any kind of insurance though that is not to say is not a reasonable way to deal with the situation. In theory anyways. I think that the statement "The power of the information Opponent A has lies solely in the fear of it being disclosed" is quite strong. As chess grandmaster Aron Nimzowitsch once said "you must know that the threat is stronger than the execution." I take this to mean that the threat, in this case Opponent A reveling personal details, is only one possible future of several that must be taken into account when planning. This prevents you from spending more processing power exploring other possible futures. If Opponent A were to simply divulge everything you could accept the situation as it is and make the best of it.
If you chose to divulge it on your own terms however you can cut the information off at the knees, chose to cast it all in the light as you want others to see it. Of course I do not know the particulars, but if you chose to go with this tactic I might go with the 'distraught victim who has made a terrible mistake' act. It will make the villain of the story very obvious. You could easily poison the well with that charade. A desirable outcome indeed.
He will see your facade for what it is of course and, perhaps, realize you can 'play on his level' as you put it. However if you deem your secrets to precious then avoid him and let it blow over. On the whole it is pretty risky but then again what is life without a little risk.
--Fleche
P.S. Given the times of recent tweets and blog posts the only time M.E. would have had to sleep a solid seven to eight hours ( assuming a somewhat standard work schedule) is if M.E. was located in (GMT -8:00) time zone or very close to it.
She's asking for insurance to protect herself, not how to win. Winning in this case entails loss, and even if he looked the villain, shed still have to pay the price of looking like a slut having sex tapes floating around, and let's not forget the seeds if doubt, especially from his other old flings. Why was she the only one with a publicly displayed sex tape and recorded conversations? Could it be she made them instead and was trying to blackmail a rising star at a company?
DeleteThat's how I'd play it off if push came to shove. I'd say I was the victim of an obsessed stalker, I'd relocate my trophies somewhere secure, and I'd sue the shit out of her for irreversible damages and pursue legal action to have her possibly jailed for recording our sex tape without my consent.
You can very easily go from toy to obstacle that needs to be crushed.
*twirls moustache*
DeleteThe human condition takes many forms, there's a much wider population of types within the spectrum "normal" and sociopath.... most of which probably aren't classified... and some may be subsets of others.
DeleteThe difficulty is .... there are also a great number of people with low-self esteem, and a desire to have some type of unique / mysterious identity..... so self-diagnosing over the internet can be appealing for them. The vast majority of you are NOT medical professionals, which isn't to say that we can't be self-observant.... but some of you really need to stop e-diagnosing after reading some blog posts and perusing wikipedia.
ps - this is not a personal dig on the author of this blog, you have some interesting posts that make it worth reading... you should caution your readership against its 'me too' mentality though.
Great name *rolls eyes* LOL
DeleteGreat format!! They are just FLOCKING here to post ;)
ReplyDeleteshuttup notme
DeleteThe comments section has reached its 'rigor mortis' stage. Still like your new layout M.E.? HaHa!
ReplyDeletedid ya see the shrink like ya said last year david what did they say ?
DeleteI was diagnosed antisocial personality disorder.
DeleteDid you get that diagnosis from that female shrink David?
DeleteI see. You answered question David.
Deletewhat about comorbidities traits features i want to know the whole story surely the shrink didnt just say ur a sociopath and thats it end of story ?
Deleteyeah, shut the fuck up notme
ReplyDeleteTNP, it's nice to see you around again.
ReplyDeletehi dave hoe is antwerpen?
ReplyDeleteNooit mijn lievelingsstad geweest en dat zal het ook nooit worden vrees ik, maar alles ok. Ik vraag me toch af of deze nieuwe layout een eigen keuze is of automatisch veranderd werd. Ronduit dramatisch, ook te merken aan het aantal commentaren dat stilaan richting zero gaat.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Deletebedtime +whiskey= i'm out of there lates all
ReplyDelete1st hehe
ReplyDeleteMy comment on this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPbq3u65j50&feature=youtu.be elsewhere on the net. I didn't really mean what I wrote, I think sociopath and 'moral code' are a contradiction in terminis. But I wrote it in a comment section where people know me, so I didn't wanted my comment to be too obvious.
ReplyDelete1 out of 10 is exaggeratingly high. Btw psychopathy is a word with a highly negative connotation hardly ever used anymore (except for Dr. Hare mentioned in this interview), nor diagnosed, because most of the time it refers to serial killers. In most cases the term antisocial personality disorder or sociopathy is used. Btw the problem with the 'Hare Checklist' is that it is only useful in a forensic investigation, as to score above 30 on a maximum of 40 points (to be diagnosed a psychopath) one needs at least a criminal history, while many high functioning sociopaths are able to avoid legal prosecution. And a lack of empathy doesn't necessarily mean one will break the law, although the odds are obviously much higher compared to an empath. One could even ask the question if a highly educated and high functioning sociopath isn't an advantage or even evolutionary above the empath, as maybe one could use some 'moral code' for his or her behaviour based on cognitive and rational decisions, instead of empathic 'gut feelings'.
Yawn, so interesting... Not!
ReplyDeleteDoes post modern pedo post here anymore? He, sorry, IT was so funny.... Please come back as I miss that whistling :-(
ReplyDeleteCome to the forum. We have cookies.
ReplyDelete