I often tell my friends that I believe my smile to be preternaturally disarming. It's distractingly perfect, but there is also a perfectly logical explanation for why it's there -- I am happy or pleased or charming or all three. It's effectiveness lies in its innocence, getting people to put their guard down and allowing me to have relatively free reign with them. That is the point of any disarming.
I primarily practice psychological disarming, but I was sent this video by a reader. Although it is directed at the physical disarming realm, I believe it is a good allegory for psychological disarming (distraction, plausible alternative explanation, timing, etc).
Reading the original comments on the YouTube page is also entertaining. For instance:
"This is awful advice. Someone pointing a gun at you is either going to shoot you, or they are using it to rob you. If they are going to shoot you, they wont wait and stand around, they will shoot you as soon as they can. If they just want your stuff, hand over everything and be thankful that's all they wanted. This stuff could get someone killed."
Just be thankful that's all they wanted? This is sort of the advice I frequently give "victims" of sociopaths -- leave them alone. I don't think I ever tell them to be "thankful that's all they wanted," though. I find that sentiment to be rather depressing, or I should say indicative of a rather depressing existence.
Loved the article, M.E. I'm a big fan of psychological disarming too. It's amazing what a dazzling smile and some killer cleavage can achieve.
ReplyDeleteThat said though, I'm also a big fan of Krav Maga, so if the smile doesn't cut it, a good kick in the nuts generally gets the job done ;)
Manipulation of human emotion to gain a subversive advatage is quite childish. Living your life inside the game must get quite tiresome. The all consuming vortex - the quest for superiority thru any and all means necessary. How many "points"? What's the score? Quite Boring! Wanna Fuck?
DeleteMmm.. tempting, anon, but I'm far too picky for sex with anonymous men.
DeleteManipulation, for me, is not an all- consuming quest, rather a means to an end (admittedly, a somewhat pleasurable one). If I can't get what I want through other channels, I won't hesitate to resort to it. We all do it; some of us just get that extra little kick out of it.
I don't have to always win; it always depends upon what's in it for me- if the price is too high, I walk away. I don't live in the game.
Manipulation is not necessarily bad though. I've prevented fights in clubs, fixed people up, etc.. no superiority issues there, everybody came out a winner.
You're right though, it can be quite tiresome and childish. Then again, I'm very easily bored anyway.
@green eyes; Nothing better than a woman (assumption based on the "cleavage remark) who understands the fun of the game, but can still do away with absurd pretext when it's not fun anymore.
DeleteGood article, very interesting. I would like to contribute, tone of voice as well. Smiles are contagious and disarming. But tone of voice is so important. I feel like we listen to both equally. I can coo an angry person into submission, and by the time I'm done they won't know how, or care why. I suppose being female helps?
ReplyDeleteSmiling. The best reason to brush and floss regularly. Also its good to have a sense of humor too. Sociopathy has its advantages, Disarmament is a speciality of mine no matter the state of mind of an individual you encounter a good joke can loosen em up just enough to change the course of conversation, I couldn't say how many tickets I've laughed my way out of police officers tend to have a sense of humor nearly as black as mine but I guess thats how one copes with the conscience, when encountered with some of the worst behaviours mankind has, my own especially. Poor bastards it must be hard trying to keep everyone happy. BTW good post, wasn't too sure about the "cat puppetmaster" one.
ReplyDeleteI walk away thinking wow that person has anger issues, good thing he likes ME now. Being disarming must be charming. Hot heads want to talk to you more. No wonder I get the freakin wackos interested. Gotta watch out with those dimples, ME ;)
ReplyDeleteHello, Pseudo Social. How are you?
ReplyDeleteI'm fucking shit, thanks for asking. How the fuck are you ??
DeleteOh shit that sucks. I'm ok, not shit. But when I pee it burns, no what I'm sayin? *sigh* Sometimes life kicks ya in the freakn crotch. *smile* But you know that.
Delete*know/no
Deletehey you used my screen name :) thats very flattering I'm glad you like it, rolls off the tongue better than shaved pussy huh?
DeleteKnow what's nice, Pseudo? Having ur pussy shaved for you. With a straight edge. Such painstaking care taken..
DeleteThat got sexy nice and quick. Please continue.
DeleteHaving a disarming smile as a psychopath, doesn't mean once I disarm them, I begin to fuck with them. Back in the day when I was the tribes hunter/protector, everyone knew I was mean, without emotion... which is the reason I was born the way I am. The smile, charm... allows me (the hunter/killer/protector) to function in a tribe without making the rest feel in danger. I have control, and am HIGHER functioning. Only idiots need to make up a reason for being a cunt in society.
ReplyDeleteI like it when you say "cunt" and smile Mr Bushman. I feel ...I don't know. Protected?
DeleteTry it with me everyone:
c hh u nt. C gh uh nt. Chanu khunt. K u uuu uh n t
Smiling children make parents feel sooo good they will reward you, for they created a smiling human. Isn't that nice for everyone?
DeleteSo if you have dicks and cunts around you it is nice to know you have been conditioned to disarm them.
"It gives them distance to detach the idea of their emotions as a chemical process, like objectifying a part of themselves for convenience"
DeleteI actually think this is healthy for some of us. In moderation, that it.
*is
Deletenothing as disarming as charm and confidence
ReplyDeleteAgreed!
Delete1st
ReplyDeleteME must be so sexy.
ReplyDeletestfu, ME.
DeleteI farted
ReplyDeleteTheme for ME's preternatural smile
ReplyDeleteWatched a movie called Lucky. Its pretty funny!
ReplyDeleteJust be thankful that's all they wanted? This is sort of the advice I frequently give "victims" of sociopaths -- leave them alone. I don't think I ever tell them to be "thankful that's all they wanted," though. I find that sentiment to be rather depressing, or I should say indicative of a rather depressing existence.
ReplyDeleteWhen is Prey Pride Day here at SW anyway?
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