and this rain, for once, put me in a very bad mood. i don't know what it is about today but i am feeling unusually "alone", and today in particular it is getting to me. i needed to write, i needed an audience to get this out, what exactly i am getting out, not too sure.
i want to ask you random questions but the point would be to get some answers, and i am sure that the chances of getting any are scarce. the people in my life are so disappointing, and i don't think they are doing anything wrong. it's so hard to tell when i am the way i am.
nothing is interesting me anymore. nothing is challenging me, and even at my job where i moved up rather quickly and playing all sorts of games with people, there is no substance. i want this life to have substance, and it isn't good enough. i don't think i am depressed, but overall i am just annoyed that this is it. i can't be more than i already am, personally anyway. i can and will get the money, the power, the position that i want, but then what? in a way i am sick of everything coming so easily for me. why try at all when everything is just handed to you?
it has become more apparent that as time goes by i have to become more secluded to keep my sanity. working with people truly enrages me, and i feel myself losing it all over again. perhaps if this was a sunshiny day i would be all good. maybe it's about that "rag" time, who knows.
i need to be near people that don't enrage me, but that is so hard to come by. you don't enrage me per se, but i also need substance. what to do.....oh what to do.
First, bitches!
ReplyDeletesecond, gorgonzolas
ReplyDeleteif this was the olympics you would fail the drugstest and i would still win
ReplyDelete<1ST ^^
ôfc all sociopaths are narcs
ReplyDeletehow can i not be i'm great
This is so me. I hate everyone. I recognize that I'm a jaded asshole.
ReplyDeleteas long as you love yourself
Deletejust like Narcissus
I think the author must have read your diary. you say this same shit everyday, Caesar.
DeleteKeyser, do you think Kevin Spacey played a convincing psychopath in "Usual Suspects"
DeleteIs that what Keyser was?
DeleteI think has a hardon for me because it's no less true the following day. I'm still flattered.
DeleteDidn't the movie reveal Spacey was Soze in the end? Didn't Spacey fake his limp? Did't he commit murder? He fooled everyone. Idk now I have to see the movie again. It was a good one.
DeleteIdk if Spacey was playing a psychopath. If he wasn't what was he? Just a shrewd killer who faked being a cripple and a meek thing in order to be pitied rather than be accused of the big crime?
Since you bring such strong support for his performance, I must say I think Spacey did an excellent job.
DeleteMania to Monica.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like so much indifference.
ReplyDeleteBitch needs a Bible
ReplyDeleteLol. The power of christ compels you!!!
DeleteTHe existentialist problem. The post reminds me of it.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.wellness-institute.org/images/Journal_7-1_Resistance_to_Life.pdf
I have too much anxiety to be bored~
ReplyDeleteWhen do you feel anxiety? Like right now, at home?
DeleteAll the time. It is worse or worser.
Deleterinse with vodka
Deleteand sex and drugs
Deleteand why not a little rock'n roll
DeleteStir well with violence and destruction.
DeleteAll the time. It is worse or worser.
ReplyDeleteWhat does anxiety feel like? Could you describe it?
It is like I live on a permanent roller coaster ride. I am always on it, but if I even do normal things like ride in a car, I am like going on the dips~
DeleteOk, thanks.
DeleteI understand the feeling well. It was like there was a spaz living inside my usually calm self, for quite a long while.
DeleteIt increased almost exponentially over the past two years or so.
DeleteI was never an anxious person before.
It's like a dark passenger living inside your actions, anticipating the worst results of all your actions and whisper them into your ear.
DeleteFail Caesar.~
DeleteYou just had to go with dark passenger, didn't you?
DeleteYes.
DeleteHey Monica, I have something I need to say to you.
ReplyDeleteI have been having about 15 lightbulbs go off in my head every second for the past four days that have kept me from all but a couple hours of sleep.
DeleteOne of these lightbulbs relates to you. I take it you read my whole story about my friend in the forum, yes?
Yes
DeleteThis might take a few comments to get it all out. Interrupt me if any of this sounds familiar.
DeleteSo, my friend. I had always known she had boundary issues with her mother. In college I always thought it was wierd that she talked to her mom on the phone everyday. Her mother seemed to always position herself more as a peer, rather than a mother. Also as a competitor. She made a point of mentioning to my friend her knowledge of all the hip music, etc.
Go on. Get it all out and then I will comment.
DeleteShe would tell me her mother would make jokes about her period or her vagina or whatnot about her body growing up, so to this day she cannot deal with any talk about periods, vaginas, poop, farts, anything like that. She won't even wipe her ass with any toilet paper that has been exposed to air in which there were humans. She unrolls a couple of feet of toilet paper, rips it off, and leaves it on the floor when she knows someone else has used the bathroom, any bathroom. By the time I left four days ago, there was toilet paper all over the fucking place. I had my 10,000 argument with her about how that makes me feel like she thinks I'm gross or something, and for the 10,000 time I asked her to at least put it in toilet so I don't have to see it. As I write this I now understand why she never did.
DeleteWhy?
DeleteShe cannot share drinks with anyone. In the car last week she accidentally took a sip out of a bottle I had already taken a small sip from. I let her know right away, because I know about this neurosis well. She immediately and deliberately VOMITED it back out of her mouth into another bottle, making an "ugh" sound like she was completely disgusted. I told her how fucking goddamn rude that was, but, of course, for the 10,000 time, it never registered.
Delete7:08
DeleteSomething in her, maybe, was crying for help. Hoping someone would notice her pain, which she couldn't even notice herself.
YES, I don't take drugs for any of this because you said this a while back; symptoms are likened to how homeopathy sees them--as trying to work through a stuck process. If you medicate them, you are lost. They are your bread crumbs as in Hansel and Greytl(sp)
DeleteThe symptoms can lead you home, if you can only get there.
In one of the last conversations I had with her, she told me about how she was made to shower with her mother, was always naked around her past the time where it was appropriate, but my friend tried to chaulk it up to her mother being a child of the free-lovin' 60s, but her blank face told me she didn't really believe that.
DeleteShe had mentioned this to me before, but many years ago.
She also told me her mother would go so far as to slap her vagina and laugh about it.
She told me about an argument she had with her mother a couple years ago in her (my friend's) old apartment, but my friend told her to quiet down so as not to piss off her landlord, who was already frustrated with her for some reason (as is everyone, eventually). Her mother exclaimed, "I'm allowed to be myself as your own mother!" or something like that. My friend then asked me what I thought of that, and what I thought about what being true to yourself meant.
DeleteI told her that it was clear that her mother was rebelling against something. At this point her boyfriend came home and so the conversation had to end, but I did say, "I think perhaps you shouldn't be so attached to yourself that you're hurting other people."
Blank stare.
That's about all I have to say about her right now.
You said it about homeopathy, Medusa. The symptom is a "stuck state" needing help to push through to health/homeostasis/ balance.
DeleteThe emotions are the same. Someone locked in weird patterns is a manifestation of how they have had to morpth and morph until they are, now, some sort of a "freak"
They term the freak, a PD.
Stop the psychobabble.
DeleteDo you recognize any of this. Do you recognize anything I said in the forum.
You don't have to say anything now. It might be best if you just let it sit for a bit.
DeleteIts not psychobabble. Psychobabble is what you get when you go to therapy.
DeleteOh, and a couple more things. I don't think she does this neurotic stuff to quite this extent around her boyfriend, although I'm not sure. I witnessed her share a glass of wine with him when we were out for dinner for her birthday. I called her on it, she rationalized it away.
DeleteI have seen her genuinely cry ONCE in my life. ONCE. But the day I arrived she told me how she was just completely balling her eyes out about something the night before while talking to her boyfriend.
What is your question to me? Do I recognize my mother in this? Yes, but my abuse was probably less than hers. Once I could talk, my mother kept it to ambient, verbal abuse. I had a big extended family and lived in the same neighborhood my whole life, so my mother knew to keep it under the radar.
DeleteThe reason therapy didn't work for you is because it made you worse, just like it's doing with my friend. Unless the therapist is smart enough to be feeding her ego with a long-term plan in mind, but I really really doubt it. It's impossible for therapists to recognize this unless it's their specialization, and perhaps unless they also talk to others that are close to the patient.
DeletePeople like my friend don't know that they need a specific type of therapy, so they pick them just like they pick their friends or idols.
Your therapists were treating the wrong thing.
Yes, but my abuse was probably less than hers.
DeleteWhat the fuck are you talking about? You said she molested you. Diddled you. Your son committed suicide. How is my friend possibly worse than you?
You are doing the same shit my friend did to me when I pointed her towards the truth. Minimize, deflect, gaslight, blah blah blah
What is your point in all this, Medusa?
DeleteNo point at all. I'm done. I've got some resin to smoke.
DeleteOK lol
DeleteMonica 7:37
DeleteI identify with what you've just said and con confirm it first hand. I had an overbearing mother and had to decide at a very young age to fractionate my mind or kill either myself or her. I've finally recovered so I believe you can too. You just have to not the symptoms and parse out the root and then stop them using things like mantras. Sooner or later you will get to the last one and the door will be opened completely and you will be you again. It took me about a year and a half of intense self-therapy. I won't insult you to save face, even though I want to. I believe in you.
8:08
DeleteIt's sad because Medusa is legitimately helping you but you are too blind to see it. Maybe you should smoke some weed. That always helps me to get a new perspective on things and recognize problems I never notice in my self delusional baseline state. All the answers are in Medusa posts. Memorize the words, smoke a bowl (or not), and just meditate on them. The first step is to recognize that any touch that you don't want is a bad touch and produce the same effect. It creates emotional dissonance. Different people deal with it differently, and come to different conclusions on what's best but the cause and effect is the same. That one person had it worse or better is of no consequence. The road back is the same. Somehow I have sympathy for you and I want to see you get better. You've been here long enough that you deserve it. :-) Best wishes.
I just saw Gaslight a few weeks ago, but the 1940 film rather than the 1944 Bergman one.
DeleteThat's a nice word Caesar, deserve.
DeleteCaesar, I find you very interesting. <3
DeleteOK. I regognise my mother in your account of your friend's, Medusa. I've already recognised and talked about the similarity to Monica's mother. (Monica, I'll discuss this, as part of this tread with you, but you're on probation in my eyes).
Deleteshe was made to shower with her mother
Yeah. I recognise this and some associated bullshit or trauma too. I need to think a bit about this.
had to decide at a very young age to fractionate my mind or kill either myself or her.
DeleteYeah. I think you either turn the rage inward or out. Monica is depressed, so that is rage turned in on oneself. I've violently assaulted my mother, and others, which is the rage turned outward. Outward even onto those upon whom it doesn't belong.
But even if she did act out, wouldn't she stay depressed?
DeleteI think I made the decision to become a victim at 14, when I shut down. I could have gone either way. For me to have fought them would have made me very bad, as far as acting out.
DeleteMy depression safeguards me from acting out. It safeguards me from being strong and being an individual. It safeguards me against disapproval because I get small, first, before anyone can put me down.
I roll over, so they can't kick me because I am already down.
No idea, Extremity. Her psychology is mostly a mystery to me.
DeleteWhat do you think on this topic?
I think I made the decision to become a victim at 14, when I shut down. I could have gone either way
DeleteI don't understand, Monica. I thought your trauma was much earlier, from your mother. Then later with regard to your son. Who is this "them" you're referring to at 14. Can you say, even just briefly, what that was about?
Well, I was traumatized early but I guess I was a resilient child as I reached out to relatives and formed bonds and just pushed all the trauma away but I had panic attacks as a very young child. In junior high, I had sometimes 10 panic attacks a day. However, I still was able to be a normal kid with friends, activities and a sense of self.
DeleteI guess what kept me sane was thinking my father was on my side. When I asked him to confirm my reality, he told me my mother was fine. That shock pushed me over the tipping point with trauma and I became numb.
I had this inkling that I could have been very tough at that point. I could have become a badass, but I choose to be a victim. It was a semiconscious choice. I think I could have chosen to be a sociopath, but that seemed a worse fate than a victim.
This stuff is addictive. I know I need to probally go back and read many weeks/months/years of back posts to get this; what's Monica's issue in a nutshell? What brought her to Sociopath World?
DeleteMy mother molested me. I fell for a socio. In going through that, I came here. I opened myself here, as no other place seemed as if they could handle my life. That is the Readers Digest version.
Deleteand just pushed all the trauma away but I had panic attacks as a very young child. In junior high, I had sometimes 10 panic attacks a day
DeleteWell, that describes someone who did NOT push the trauma away. That's a description of a traumatized child.
When I asked him to confirm my reality, he told me my mother was fine
OK. I understand now what you meant by what happened at 14. We talked about your father's reaction. That he was in shock, traumatized to an extent, too?
You said "them" though. Who else was it? I recall you saw therapists from age 12 onward so I'm guessing it's them?
Thanks, Monica. I'll try to fill in the blanks and not be rude with questions that force redundant information.
Delete"Them" was just my parents. It's OK, Thom. x
DeleteMonica, did you sat your mother stopped molesting you when you could talk?
DeleteSay
DeletePost the play is good, too. "Angel Street"
DeleteFor me to have fought them would have made me very bad, as far as acting out.
DeleteYou did a bit though. Right? I recall you talking about being able to get your mother to the "stopping point" by pushing her into a 'shame spiral'. I don't understand what you mean by that. But you managed to act out to some degree at least, didn't you?
She stopped when I got totally submissive like an animal. This was when I was younger. When I was solder, I bullied her, too( verbally). However, then she would go in the shame spiral and I would feel really, really guilty.
DeleteI have been all up in her face about it, as an adult. However, whatever I did never helped me. So, I cut off all contact 7 months ago.
@Kany
I don't want to discuss anymore actual details, more than I have, as there are some people who are waiting for salacious details ~
Yes. Salacious details. I love seeing how daring you can be, Monica.
DeleteI beg your pardon again, Monica, but how old are you?
DeleteTom
DeleteI withdraw my offer. I feel like I am being interviewed and actually, I would like other people to share about their lives, rather than it be all about me.
What brought you here?
Didn't mean to interview. I would think I would better understand your situation if I knew how far along in life you may have gotten. I didn't mean to pry.
DeleteI was searching the web for information on narcissistic behavior and this site popped up. I must say, your story has helped keep me here. Should you like to share I'll listen.
Monica, I find that incredibly conspicuous. You know it was an appropriate practice to masturbate your children when they were aroused in a clinical way. Mothers would do it as a form of trying to please their infants. And if your mother stopped performing anything sexual on you before you could speak, I don't see how you can still lay claim to that as molestation. I'm wondering if Medusa's friend is more like you than she resembles your mother.
DeleteKany
DeleteIf you are going to say stupid things like that, I am not going to discuss it with you anymore.
But even if she did act out, wouldn't she stay depressed?
DeleteI had this inkling that I could have been very tough at that point. I could have become a badass, but I choose to be a victim.
Monica might have turned out like my friend's sister did, a junkie arsonist. My friend used to say that her sister was actually the smarter one, but it was my friend who always got all the accolades. My friend at one point broke her nose while playing when they were young.
I think I made the decision to become a victim at 14
I guess what kept me sane was thinking my father was on my side.
Basically the same age her father died/suicided. She idealized his memory for a long time. It was only a couple years ago that she recalled to me the ways in which he was kind of a shithole. She hasn't really said much about him since.
I had panic attacks as a very young child.
My friend has always had bizarre anxiety issues, but I think she hid most of it, especially in recent years. Besides the germophobia, she'd have lightning flashes in her vision, as well as non-stop back pain for a while. Only drugs she ever took was some kind of benzo intermittently, but I think she only had one prescription bottle filled for that.
I have been all up in her face about it, as an adult. However, whatever I did never helped me. So, I cut off all contact 7 months ago.
My friend basically did the same, when it became clear to her that her mother and sister were living in a fucked up foile de deux, after a few months of therapy, and especially after her sister burnt the house down. They are recently talking again because some crazy man has been online stalking my friend for writing a scathing online review of his business and has been sending libelous packages to her family and random acquaintances. Both her mom, and her sister especially, are all up in arms about it. "I'm gonna kill that fucker!" I think they are both trying to impress her, looking for approval.
P.S. I've actually always preferred her sister's personality.
DeleteAnd speaking of clowns.
Last week my friend and I were in the care with sister's daughter. She asked my friend if it was true that you can fit 13 clowns in a car. My friend said something like, "I think they must have magic cars!" whilst I instead gave her a logical explanation backed by personal experience.
Later on my friend told her sister about this, and her sister explained to her daughter that they have a hole in the bottom of the car. My friend was all, why would you destroy the magic of what I said. Her shrugged and said, "What can I say, I'm a realist."
My friend was also telling her niece something about how Santa loves all boys and girls and every child in the world gets presents. I said something about Jewish people; my friend gasped and tried to dismiss what I was saying. Later on I told her, "I don't like to lie to children."
Her niece then said, "Well then since Jewish people don't get presents from Santa," even though I told her about Chanukkah, "then that means they must suck and that Christians are better than Jewish people!"
DeleteI told her it was not a competition.
My friend said, "Uh, huh, yeah it is!" along with her niece.
She constantly tells her niece that she is "the best in the world!" and shit like that, doted in her like she's a princess. In her mind she thinks she's mitigating the dysfunctional life the girl has with her mother and grandmother.
DeleteKeep writing. You will come to an epiphany at the end.
DeleteHa ha hahaha. Good lord.
DeleteI'm not even doing this for you anymore, you know.
DeleteYou're a fucking bitch, and you can fuck off 10,000 ways for all I care. You came in here pretending to be helpless with your fucked up syntax, spelling, punctuation, trying to look as pathetic as possible so people would swoop in for you. You studied all sorts of things, for years. What a farce. What a fucking lunatic.
You're smart, I give you that, You are fucking smart. But your intelligence is a result of your dysfunction. What a fucking waste. No wonder you are now rotting in your mansion afraid to leave, afraid of everything.
WHAT is wrong with you?
DeleteOh, I'm sorry, I forgot you were a projection magnet.
DeleteFor you Monica, Sweetie:
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJcrt8KzsZM
Hope you actually listen to the whole thing and get something from it.
Medusa
DeleteYou can't hurt me. I thought you wanted help with yourself. I always expected you to turn on me and act like a ditz. It is SW, after all ~
I'm not trying to hurt you, you dumb shit. I don't give a fuck how you feel.
DeleteWell, that is good because you can't~
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteLol, you're a coward, Monica.
DeleteLook, Medusa
DeleteI don't know what the deal is with you, but I am not going to lash out at you. I am going to walk away.
Is there not a book you are suppose to be working on, Monica? Something to do with a pictorial of your self-demise?
DeleteSo, I just had to deal with the craziest shit regarding my bank account, which resulted in an instantaneous reconnection with certain members of my family, the other members unreachable, which was strange. It's usually exactly the opposite.
DeleteAs I was walking into the store to go to the ATM, the ex that brought me here was just leaving. The same dude whose name was plastered all over that car in front of us four days ago.
What the FUCK is going on?
I'll explain when it's over
Delete- Mommy, mommy, what is incest?
ReplyDelete- Shut the fuck up and spread your legs, Monica!
Eden *rolleyes*
Delete- Daddy, daddy, what is incest?
Delete- Shut the fuck up and keep sucking, Eden.
Who's Monica 7:18?
Deletelol Eden is messing herself up
DeleteMonica, it is Extremity, not Raven.
DeleteThey are the same person.
DeleteHow suspicious of you, Alter. That wasn't me. Don't trust Alter, she's a liar, Monica.
DeleteWow. I stumbled upon this site looking up narcissistic behavior. Google was on point.
ReplyDeleteWelcome. :-) We hope you enjoy you stay here on SW.
DeleteSince my breakthrough I feel more powerful and in control than ever. I'm reborn. It's all thanks to you guys here. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm interested. What breakthrough?
DeleteFor the last year and a half I have been endeavoring to be a better sociopath, make better decisions, and control people with more precision. And I recognized at the root of my problem was my anxiety and worry-causing mental schema. It was something I adopted as a child to stop making mistakes that lead me to be beaten by my militaristic mom. I needed to undo the years of reinforced pattern of thinking and root out the cause of my anxieties. I wanted to become the powerful kid I was when I was six.
DeleteI only realized the problem after smoking weed for the first time and the flood gates of anxieties were opened and I met my subconscious. After a year and a half I have finally cleared the last hurdle in magnificent fashion and am now reborn. I could try to make that less hippy-ish and more personal but I'm not going to. I hope you approve.
How old are you Caesar?
DeleteI'm 20, 21 in 3 months. Why do you ask?
DeleteI have that fucking rain sets me off thing then I get pissed at everyone, onto being alone. Sun comes out, I find some fun, but I still feel a lot of contempt for everyone. The grey rainy day boredom shit gets me doing things I never do for fun, just stuff I do to pass time and I take my mind off the reasons why I am the last person that should ever be left alone.
ReplyDeleteThat's a lot of kilowatts.
Deletethank you
DeleteI'm meeting with pops tomorrow. We'll see how it goes.
ReplyDeletePiles
let us know what happens, Piles!
DeleteMonica,
ReplyDeletePlease explain why you think it "feeds my ego" to call you by your real name. I take no pride in "calling you out"- everyone here already knows who you are! So why are you hesitant to lay claim to your own identity? Can you provide a logical explanation for this?
Think about it for a moment. How does my disrespecting *your* refusal to acknowledge your true self- the same person you say you would like to see become whole- benefit *my* ego? It doesn't!
It doesn't matter to me what you call yourself, but it matters to you what others here call you, a great deal. Last night, I couldn't figure out why, but I think I understand now.
You hit the nail on the head when you said: YOU DON'T SEE ME! Ami desperately wants to be seen and loved for who she is.
When you came here originally, to take the first few toddling steps out of that frozen wasteland, you did so as yourself. As Ami: beautiful Ami, who was hurting, vulnerable and seeking answers. But you over-shared in a place that wasn't safe, and Ami got ravaged by the wolves.
You did not protect your real self, just as your mother failed to protect you.
I know you have stated that you do not want my assistance, and I will respect that, although I think you are pushing away the one person here you can *actually* trust. (Think about that, too.)
You may think you are getting stronger on account of SW, but it is only your false self- your carapace, that gains any robustness here. Don't get me wrong- that can be helpful- but it fails to address your stated goal, which is to free your true self: beautiful Ami, of many pearls.
Good luck, Monica. Be careful who you trust.
Alter
DeleteI can explain if you e mail me. Perhaps, ME can give you my e mail. I can't explain the reason on here.
I think that is a wise idea, Monica.
DeleteI set up an email account, just for you.
It is: forami@hotmail.com
I look forward to continuing this discussion in a safe space.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI do not understand why it is a terrible thing to show your neck to wolves if your neck is broken to begin with. Who cares if you are devoured if you already feel numb?
DeleteEden showed her vulnerable side here. No body attacks her for doing that. She had fantasy of giving blood. That is a form of opening one's neck for a predator with blood lust. How is Eden so different from Monica?
^ Medusa
DeleteNope.
DeleteAnd Eden... I'm not going to get into that. People can figure it out.
You did not protect your real self, just as your mother failed to protect you.
DeleteJust like you too, Alter. Your mother refused to protect you from your father when she was fully capable of protecting herself from him. You later willingly involved yourself with the guy who raped you. That's the behaviour of someone failing to protect themselves.
Interesting observation, Ell.
DeleteMy mother failed to protect me. God love her, the woman is an enabler.
I think it says something about my incapacity to set healthy boundaries and distinguish "normal" from "abuse". I see now how that relates to my dad. The same man who was so warm, charismatic, and even loving one moment could at any time turn around and beat the crap out of me for saying something that displeased him. It is interesting that my first quasi-sexual experience should be with someone who also failed to respect my autonomy.
I don’t have an emotional connection to the experience. Even at that time, I didn’t. By then, I was accustomed to expressing pain through RAGE. I didn’t get hurt, I got violently ANGRY. But I never carry it with me for very long. Like my dad, it flares, and then it's gone.
I still don’t know if I would call it rape, as I was 12 and he was 13, so we were both kids, experimenting with each other. I led him on, then pulled back - push and pull, over and over - until the last minute, when I decided I didn't want things to go that far. He didn't manage to fully penetrate me. I was pissed off, but aroused.
Afterwards, I didn’t think about it much. We left each other that night on amicable terms. I didn’t feel mistreated- just as I didn’t know to call what my father did “abuse”. It was normalized in our household and family.
I willingly involved myself with the guy later on because we didn’t stop being friends. I had no trauma relating to the incident. He was an escape, a good companion, daring and willing to do all kinds of naughty shit.
One thing that characterized our early adulthood relationship were the constant arguments. I loved fighting with him. I pecked relentlessly at his weaknesses and challenged him in public. And for some twisted reason, I reveled in our toxic dynamic... It felt waay too good to put him down. And it was gratifyingly easy, as I was smarter than him.
And ya know what? HA!
It just dawned on me. The guy was a freaking psychopath! Cruel and charming. Of course I gravitated to him and had a love-hate affair: it was a relationship patterned after my relationship with my dad!
The guy was a drug runner for the Hell’s Angels. Real buff, lovely to look at, charismatic and charming. Started carrying a gun. Started thinking of himself as hot shit. We parted ways.
The last time I heard from him, he was in prison. He wasn’t very smart.
Thanks for prompting me to think about it, Ellicit. :)
I do not understand why it is a terrible thing to show your neck to wolves if your neck is broken to begin with. Who cares if you are devoured if you already feel numb?
DeleteIf you felt numb, you wouldn't have deleted all of the posts associated with your first incarnation. That's blood, Monica.
Eden showed her vulnerable side here. No body attacks her for doing that. She had fantasy of giving blood. That is a form of opening one's neck for a predator with blood lust. How is Eden so different from Monica?
Because it just sloughs off her back like so much oil on water.
Why is everything anyone says toward you an invitation for a monologue?
DeleteI love Alter's monologues, Kany. Alter. I have an important question to ask you. My friend, who is the coolest Christian I know. This guy has had 4 NDEs( near death experiences) He says the F word, every few words ( I love a man who swears ~) Anyway, he says I should forgive my parents completely, as God forgave me, and I am no wonderful person. He says that I should call them and just show them love :forget about anything in the past.
DeleteInside, I am not so sure. I don't feel like I should, as I am getting better, for the first time. However, he says not to worry about that and just do it.
What is your opinion? Thank you Alter.
I loved fighting with him. I pecked relentlessly at his weaknesses and challenged him in public. And for some twisted reason, I reveled in our toxic dynamic. ...
Delete.... It just dawned on me. The guy was a freaking psychopath
Yeah. You realize you just described the way you interact with UKan too? He is the same kind of magnet to you. Your father.
he says I should forgive my parents completely ...
Delete... I don't feel like I should, as I am getting better, for the first time.
Monica, what he is doing is telling you how you SHOULD feel. He's trying to deny you your own mind and emotions. He's probably unaware of it, but that is still what it is.
You're still minimizing your own experience of how traumatized you were. The evidence is your statement about panic attacks earlier on this page.
Because of that you are not ready to forgive. How can you forgive what you haven't fully acknowledged?
Wow Ellicit
DeleteI was just sitting here debating whether to call. I think I have a resilience or I would be much more messed up, but I would like to tell you some of my stories, if you would listen( They are freaking funny as hell. Just not when you were a kid~ )
Monica, I agree with your friend, to a point. The Bible commands us to forgive one another, and it provides us with guidelines to this effect. However, it does *not* teach that we should simply roll over and take any abuse that someone flings in our direction:
Delete"If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. " (Matthew 18: 15-17)
Rather, the Bible teaches that we must confront the person who sins against us: first privately, then in the presence of witness (a counselor, perhaps?) If this fails, we are admonished to tell it to the church- but, as you know, according to the Bible, we ARE the church: the body of Christ consists of believers, it is not a building made of bricks and mortar.
This step is intended to induce shame in the offender, and assumes the person who sinned is also a believer, so I am not sure how I would apply that injunction to a situation involving an unbeliever. Perhaps a good way to interpret it would be to bring it before the psychological community: her "church".
Treating a person as a "tax collector" involves shunning them, and implies not having further contact with them, unless the person is willing to repent. This, by necessity, requires direct confrontation, which is very much in line with the advice you have been offered here.
The Bible teaches us to love and forgive one another, but it does not instruct us to maintain relationships with toxic, abusive people.
Yeah. You realize you just described the way you interact with UKan too? He is the same kind of magnet to you. Your father.
DeleteYou're right.
I have also come to realize how important it is for me to respect my children's feelings. My eldest told me the other day, in anger: "it doesn't matter how I feel!!" and that, juxtaposed with the comment that I am telling others how *they* should feel, has helped me to be more aware of how my narcissism is affecting the people I love most. I am now really making an effort to be self-aware, so as to curb this tendency.
Thanks Ellicit and Monica, for pointing this out.
You are so welcome, Alterego. I appreciate all you guys do me for me( even UKan)
DeleteYou got to take the good with the bad ~
Any time ego. :-)
DeleteI used to love the comments section :o(
ReplyDeleteWhen comments stop hitting 400 everyday, the people who discuss things tend to come back. Then trolls and freaks roll back in and comments spike for a few months until people get bored of it.
DeleteEverything happens in waves.
DeleteTEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE
ReplyDeleteEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE
ReplyDeleteEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE
ReplyDeleteEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE
ReplyDeleteI am so glad someone may have usurped me as the most annoying poster on SW :o)
ReplyDeleteTEEHEE.
DeleteGod you're such a bitch, so just take it like one!
EEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEE TEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE TEHEEEEEEETEEEHEEEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEETEEHEEEEEE TEEEHEEEEEEEE
I REALLY want to know who has a hard on for me.
DeleteIf you are talking to me, Sparky, this little clown would fuck your world upside down. BTW what did your little prank do? Really?
Shut up, Plantars Wart
DeleteJust for you Anon 6:31PM
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1g3DzM7rz8
You're gonna have to go real deep, and I'm gonna leave a deep deep scar, bitch!
DeleteHold still.
DeleteIs that all yo got :o)
DeleteYes, Plantar.
DeleteI had one removed from the bottom of one heel in, maybe, jr high. My sister, too. Both of us, same place on the foot, same time, same surgery, same day, if memory serves..
DeleteSomething about you, Duce, makes me want to tell you to open wide and let me say, "Ah-mmmmm" :o)
DeleteIt might have been around that time I stopped being friends with that one girl who grew up to be an executive producer for TMZ.
DeleteWith Lil Boo, we would have to remove her whole body, so do you have a long, sharp tool?
DeletePost, Loki.
ReplyDeleteCheck the feed.
Her favorite movie was Heathers.
ReplyDeleteHer favorite musical:
DeleteEvita.
What is wrong with you?
DeleteYou tell me.
DeleteSend me a picture of you please.
DeleteI'm not in such Dire Straits that I would do such a thing.
Deletebut you're beautiful.
DeleteMirror, mirror,
DeleteOn the wall?
Who is the fairest of all?
DeleteThou, O Medusa, art the fairest of all.
DeleteDo you want to talk about it?
DeleteOh, how "I wish that I had a daughter that had skin white as snow, lips red as blood, and hair black as ebony"
ReplyDelete— Keyser
That queen creeps me out. When she transforms, it's even worse. There's something about her.
DeleteWho did you know that suggested their favorite movie/musical was Heathers?
Deletea friend.
DeleteDid you or do you share such similar taste in teen-angst B movies?
DeleteNo.
DeleteShe knew every line of Heathers by heart when I met her. She hadn't mentioned it in years, though.
She would sometimes torture me with her over-the-top Evita sing-alongs. Knew every line. I have video proof.
Perhaps you can intuition what my tastes in movies were like back then.
No. No. I wouldn't dare.
DeleteI thought Heather's had something to say to a youthful set coming up who seemed to be destined for nothing more than soccer-mom stardom. But I would never have compulsed to the extent of memorizing the movie. And Evita is a tad bit flamming-over-the-top; male or female.
I have not given up
ReplyDelete