I saw a film about the middle class recently while visiting a friend who thought that I would love it. It's called Compliance. It's a fictionalized version of true events. A prankster calls up a fast food establishment (McDonald's in the original story), pretending to be a police officer, and gets the manager of the restaurant to require one of her employees to submit to a strip search, among other things.
I was so glad that I watched this film in the theatre. People were upset. A few groups got up and left. Several times people yelled at the screen, "Stupid!" or "What an idiot!" It was too funny hearing people's reactions. For some reason the audience members seemed to think they were immune to similar acts of stupidity. I think this NY Times article does a good job of describing the phenomenon:
“It’s the kind of story that’s a blip, a headline you read and go, ‘Wow, that’s crazy,’ ” Mr. Zobel said. “Then you say, ‘That would never happen to me’ and move on. But I was thinking more and more about it, and it seemed to encompass a lot of things about people’s relationship with authority.”
***
To write the ingratiating, threatening lines of the caller — whose appearance and location are revealed about halfway through the film and who’s played by Pat Healy — Mr. Zobel immersed himself in the reality show “Cops.” “I was trying to pick up on the way that cops talk, the way they alternately comfort and assume authority in a situation and also manipulate in certain ways,” he said. “If you watch any one episode of ‘Cops’ you’re like, ‘Wow, they talked that person into doing that crazy thing.’ ”
***
Mr. Zobel has noticed that a common criticism of the film is to write off the characters as implausibly gullible fools. “Everyone plays the part of the hero in their mind and says that they wouldn’t do it,” he said. “But clearly that statistically is not accurate.”
As played by Ms. Dowd, a stage veteran with a long résumé of character roles on screen, Sandra is not simply an idiot nor a clear-cut villain. “When I read it, I knew on a gut level that you could play it in a truthful way,” she said. “I don’t think people want to actually see that part of themselves, it’s too uncomfortable. But for actors, we’re not looking to avoid the feeling, we’re looking to own it.”
***
“Compliance” can certainly be read as an allegory on blind allegiance to authority and the diffusion of responsibility. But Mr. Zobel stressed that the film does not advance a thesis; nor does his cool, controlled approach preclude empathy for his characters. “It all has to be rooted in real people and things,” he said.
***
“It’s been disappointing when I hear that people have problems with the film but don’t want to challenge me,” he said. “It’s intentionally complicated. I’m happy for any sort of conversation.”
After I watched it, I was sort of thrilled -- it was such a good example of the sort of herd mentality that I find so distasteful in most people. Sheeple! A link to this film should be next to the dictionary definition of the word sheeple, because it basically encapsulated everything there is to know or think about what it means to be a sheeple. It reminded me of a comment I saw once on this blog. I wish I could remember it. I feel like I included it in the twitter. It said something like -- "you always say we deserve what we get? how do we deserve it? for trusting people? for expecting the best from people and not expecting to get taken by everyone we meet?"
Of course while I was watching, I was just as disturbed as everyone else, probably more disturbed because I understood all of the horrible implications sooner than they did. I knew what would happen and I knew that the audience members would decry this as being an isolated incident of preying upon idiots, but I knew better. I know how fragile the social status quo is and how desperate people are to maintain that status quo, particularly those that think they benefit the most from it. The middle class!
They think that they are being unselfish. They are working hard while the poor people don't and the rich people don't and it's upon their shoulders that society is run. And it's also the middle class that will die (or kill) to defend the status quo. Martyrdom in the guise of patriotism or some other nonsense virtue. But they're not behaving unselfishly. Their behavior is motivated by fear and greed. People cling to the facade of predictability that the status quo provides them, distracting them from the possibility that life is meaningless or that they really aren't as good as they had hoped. This represents en masse what sociopaths are always targeting in individuals -- self deception and self justification. I don't mind them being martyrs. It's more this "kill" element that I'm worried about. The "let's all take up arms to defend this oppressive status quo for the good of humanity" mentality is what scares me. This is the fragility in the human mind and the social order that allows for mob mentality.
But to answer the person, why do you deserve what you get? When you get taken by a sociopath? Or pranked? If you can't see it, I don't know if I can really explain it to you. But watch the movie and realize that the only people that the prank caller is able to control are the people who are invested in the status quo enough to be afraid what would happen if the status quo was disturbed. It is this fear that the prankster preyed on, and anyone who wasn't similarly invested in maintaining the status quo was magically immune.
By the way, my friend who saw the movie with me says he hates the word "sheeple." He says only stupid people use it. I guess the implication was that I am stupid for having used it. I don't like it that much either because I think it is often misused, like "nonplussed" or certain swear words. But if there was ever an application of that word, it applies to anyone who blindly struggles to maintain the status quo at all costs.
Framirst
ReplyDeleteSHUT UP
DeleteGetting mad there bro
DeleteApparently :P
DeleteHello fellow posters!!!! How are you doing today?
DeleteRich
DeleteWhy don't you tell us more about you. I got your story about the sociopath woman. I get that you are an attractive guy who can get woman. However, you end up with woman who turn out to be bad news, for you.
You told me about your narcissist father. I am thinking you had a mother who was 'weak". I am thinking you may have a lot of anger to woman, but can't express it, so you become the weak one and they hurt you, rather than vice versa.
<3
He's narc-bait, by his own admission.
DeleteYou're a self-proclaimed Narcissist, Monica. Use your imagination.
TNP
DeleteEveryone has something. Have a little grace~
What mischief are you up to now little Missy? ; )
DeleteBut seriously, thanks very much for the summary [below]
It sounds very interesting.
I’m reminded of the study that was conducted after the Second War into how Germany could descend into such barbarity.
[Forgive me if I’m scant on detail as I’m writing this from work, very quickly, and from memory]
And they applied all their psychologists and scientists and researchers to delve into the extensive and meticulous files that the Nazis’ were famed for compiling. And basically they came up with a report – informally entitled, “The Banality of Evil”.
In other words, the chain of command meant that most of the acts that helped facilitate the extermination of millions of innocent people was essentially carried out by former middle managers, and small business owners and dentists and bakers, y'know – everyday, normal people.
I’d like to think today, that as a society we have more self-awareness and there are people prepared to make a stand against authority. I know it’s probably a cliché – but for evil to happen it requires good people to do nothing. [However, writing that down now – that aphorism didn’t seem to apply for Nazi Germany]
What was interesting, MP, in the Milgrim movie was that it was the uneducated blue collar truck driver who stood up and said, "You can take your money back. I won't shock this guy"
DeleteThe more highly educated ones were more compliant. That goes counter to logic. Doesn't it?
I absolutely agree with you my dear.
DeleteIntellectuals are some of the first to adopt with missionary zeal the latest Zeitgeist irrespective of how destructive or incorrect it may be, or turn out to be.
The very polarizing yet world renowned and respected M.I.T professor Noam Chomsky writes about, ‘The Responsibility of Intellectuals’ because he has spent his entire career being criticised by them for speaking up about American foreign policy.
And perhaps goes somewhere to explain why a sociopath’s sociopath like Dr. Henry Kissinger is awarded the Noble Peace Prize Award and Chomsky is effectively persona non grata from mainstream political discourse.
perhaps being in formal education, which requires you to constantly respect authority figures all during the school day primes one to be compliant to authority figures. i would distinguish intelligent vs academic vs educated.
DeleteThis reminds me of a low class Milgrim Experiment. When I saw it in a college psych class. I pledged not to be a sheeple. I avoided activities where I thought I might be forced to be a sheeple from my own fears, such as joining a sorority.
ReplyDeleteI aim to be someone who can stand alone. I try to exercise that muscle when I can. One has countless opportunities, but I feel very frail and vulnerable.
Good Morning to all you "Sheeple"
ReplyDeleteReally, I thought it was only the "Sheepie's" that bought into "Monica World."
DeleteWhy are you so jealous of monica, Eden?
DeleteMonica 7:31
DeleteOnly in your mind is she jealous. And I am not Eden. Can your 50 year old mind grasp that?
I am not monica but there jealous bitches like Eden and ellicit diss her all the time.
DeleteAnon 7:55
DeleteWhat I have seen in here, Monica is deserving of any dissing they might have.
Hello peoples
ReplyDelete@Monica Moo. Psychology is not a subject I profess to know much about but I am always receptive to hear more.
I am familiar with the infamous Milgram experiment; and even once tried to get through Philip Zimbardo’s big door-stop of a book, “ The Lucifer Effect: Understanding How Good People Turn Evil” – but it got very repetitive and I didn't finish it. Even though I was really interested in the topic.
Care to enlighten us more my dear?
Of Course Mindless Pleasures, when you ask so sweetly.
DeleteMilgrim was a Jewish psychologist who wanted to know how Germany could go from a "civilized" society to barbarically murdering millions.
He designed experiments to see how humans responded to "authority". That was the reason behind the experiments.
He did them in a variety of settings from prestigious Yale University to a downtown New Haven dirty office building.
The subject was told he was teaching the "plant" some verbal tasks. I can't remember the exact details on this. However, when the plant got the wrong answer, the subject was told to shock him.
The plant would be screaming that he had a heart condition while the authority was saying"Shock him, shock him"
In 67% of the cases, the people shocked the plant, virtually, to death( or what would have been death, if the man had an actual heart condition)
There seems to be a very small number of people who will stand up to authority.
That is quite chilling.
The police have never liked me, nor I, them. I've never been a jailbird, but growing up with a narcissist instilled a pathological rejection and hatred for tyrants and self-entitled authority figures.
DeleteI might have been part of that 67%, were I raised in a different household.
Most people think they would stand up before they are in the situation but when they are, actually, confronted by authority, they back down.
DeleteI, always, like to think that I could not the worst of things, so I don't fool myself ~
I just got done watching it. That was a fairly clever, well written film.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I take issue with your blog post. This film wasn't at all about people not questioning authority because it's authority, and had everything to do with fear. Fear of losing one's job, fear of complications, et cetera. The fact that you completely neglected to even mention this is telling.
I could go into even more detail about why your stance and criticisms are stupid based off of this movie, but then I'd be revealing spoilers.
@TNP
DeleteI have not and will probably not get around to watching the film – but I’d be interested in your opinions – as always.
Could you not preface your posts with spoiler alerts?
********SPOILERS**********
DeleteSandra, the senior Manager starts off the day with a very angry driver delivering food, because one of the incompetent employees left the freezer open the previous night. The store is down $1400 in spoiled food, and she's already in hot water with the regional manager.
Next, the prank caller (some creep who got take-out at the fast food joint) calls up and requests the manager, and claims he's a police officer, and says that there's a woman claiming that the main victim in this film robbed her, and that he has surveillance to back it up, and now needs a strip search of the employee, or she's going to jail. He also says that he has the regional manager on the phone, and through social engineering, extracts everything he needs to know to sound legitimate.
So this manager already was in deep shit, and now she thinks she's in ever deeper shit. Throughout an entire afternoon shift, he plays cop on the phone, and whenever he thinks he's dealing with someone unruly or not dumb enough to follow through with his fucked up requests, he asks to get the senior manager on the phone.
Only two people stuck around and went with it that weren't being intimidated by the caller. They were being pressured into it by the senior manager.
One was a drunk pervert that knew he was doing something wrong, and went with it anyway. He got a blowjob from the victim after spanking her for godsakes, and when he left, he acknowledged on the phone to his friend that he did something fucked up, and needed to stay at his buddy's place.
The other person was only their briefly, and initially, and wasn't there for anything graphic, and even then her red flags were going off. Thing was, half the employees were in this stupid back room on a Friday night, so she had to go back into the thick of things and was too busy to really mind anything.
Everyone else that wasn't intimidated by this phony cop refused to go through with any of his requests. Therefore, to say this was a case of sheeple without even mentioning the very real and very powerful effect of fear is a disservice to the message of the blog, and a shoddy connection at best.
In addition, the creep did a pretty decent job of working these people. You find out in the end that he does cold calls as a telemarketer for his real job.
********END OF SPOILERS*********
So yeah, using this movie as an example for sheeple was not the greatest link. Using it for intimidating manipulation would have been far more appropriate.
Now – ‘Mad Max 2’ (U.S. ‘Max Max 2: The Road Warrior’). That...that was a film ; )
DeleteSorry, TNP, thanks for going to the trouble to explain ‘Compliance’. But especially for the reason that I know it’s one film that I definitely do not have to see. And the only thing that was spoiled sounds like the food left in the open freezer ; )
It [the film, not your explanation] just sounds so lame.
Mad Max, “Two days ago, I saw a rig that could haul that tanker. If you want some action – talk to me.” They sure as shit don’t make action films like that anymore. It’s such a great shame Mel Gibson went absolutely Bible-Banging Bat-Shit.
I enjoyed Apocalyptco. He's apparently doing an authentic Viking film as well. Is it so much to ask for a fantasy viking berserker film? All this new-fangled gritty hyper-realism is a real downer.
DeleteI liked Compliance. I didn't think it was especially bad. The IMDB rating is close to what I would give it (7/10) and it definitely would have upset quite a few people. I guess I still have a dulled sense to things most people would take issue with, but I have a colorful previous chapter in my life.
Besides, the world is too full of emotions, as one of our more enlightened commenters remarked. 'I don't want to sound like a dick or nothing, but they talk like fags and their shit's all retarded.'
Slighty unrelated – but just down the road from where I live in London [I’m 10 minutes walk from Big Ben] there’s a film crew filming the latest film in the ‘Fast & Furious’ series [I’ve never seen one of them].
DeleteBut you wouldn’t believe the amount of trucks and trailers that are parked down every side street back from the Thames River. The logistics just to make these Central London car chases must be phenomenal.
But at my local bar – the guy who I know who runs it – says that it has been brilliant for business. This guy (on an even more unrelated topic) was once a stand-in for the actor Kevin Bacon. Apparently he looks like him – but I don’t see the resemblance.
Nevertheless, he’s proven invaluable knowing him (my mate, not Kevin Bacon) for the one time you are forced to play that game ‘6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon’ whereby someone names a film and you have to find the shortest connection of it to Kevin Bacon. I just say I know the dude that stood in for him during the film ‘Tremors’.
Which has just given rise to the thought for a variation of that game (if it hasn’t already been mentioned before) – ‘6 Degrees of Famous Sociopaths’. Anyone?
I haven’t really thought this out – but considering TNP was the first to disclose his results whilst inviting us to undertake his Psychopathic Trait Tendency Assessment – it’s only right I should try and start this.
DeleteAlthough, just for the record, I’ve never visited the forums on this site. In fact, I didn’t even know they were there until Medusa posted a link for me to her book review of ‘The Psychopath Test’.
Just browsing briefly through that forum was enough. I can only imagine the rest of it is off the bonkers Richter Scale. So – if this is an old game – my apologies, this will look stoopid.
But I have a good friend of my older brother who is a criminologist. He specialises in football hooliganism. The reason being, that not too long ago, he was one himself and had spent time in prison. Sharing a cell next to him on one particular stretch was Denis Neilson.
From Wikipedia: Dennis Andrew Nilsen (born 23 November 1945) is a serial killer and necrophiliac who committed the murders of 15 young men in London, England between 1978 and 1983. He retained his victims' bodies for extended periods of time before dissecting their remains and disposing of them via burning or flushing the remains down a lavatory.
My brother’s mate tells the story when he first arrived in prison and had to borrow a cooking pan from Dennis in the cell next door - he noticed a number of standard issue prison mirrors that had been methodically positioned all around Nilsen’s bed.
When my brother's mate asked another inmate why that was he was told that apparently Nilsen would smear diluted toothpaste over him at night to give him a pale complexion and then watch himself masturbate in the mirrors giving the appearance that he was dead.
Uh oh,
DeleteI've been up for the last 48 hours. Don't ask.
I think I need to take a bit of an early break from work and have a bit of a lie down.
Normal service will resume soon ; ) As you were.
It's old-hat, Mindless Pleasures. In fact, I would be so bold as to call the forum games mindless pleasures. ;)
DeleteUnless you enjoy kicking digital puppies on occasion, you're not missing out on much in there.
Famous sociopaths...Hm. I met George Steinbrenner (owner of the Yankees), who several people have claimed to be a sociopath. One degree for that one, and up for debate if he was or wasn't one, respectfully. He had a quick and caustic wit - something you can appreciate from a back east businessman.
One of my family members had a close friend who was murdered by the Zodiac Killer. Not sure if the Zodiac is a confirmed sociopath, but he's not the nicest fellow.
There might be more, especially if I was able to use six degrees, but I'm fine with one and a half for now.
Sorry, but this post sounds like a spoiled little rich kid sitting on a throne that was bought for him shouting out to the herds of sheeples that have responsibilities that he will never understand because he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and the whole world became his very own playground. Did you ever consider the fear that's induced on the sheeples has serious implications for them? They have a responsibility to fulfill.....Maybe to a dying child, a sick husband, a world of things are threatened that you obviously have no capabilities of understanding. The fear induced is very real to them because it's not just the status quo they are trying to protect.......very shallow thinking.
ReplyDeleteI understand. If your husband dies you would have to get a job and find out your opinion means fuckall. Dead husband = bad
DeleteOh I missed this gem of a comment...get over yourself
DeleteAnd I am speaking mainly of your mob mentality link.....the movie example was just stupid
ReplyDeleteMob mentalities and blind obedience to authority figures are two very real 'sheeple' problems, but this was a very poor film to illustrate such points.
DeleteI do understand that TNP and would agree, but fear has many variables that were not addressed
DeleteM.E., it's not herd mentality. It's called thinking you are required to do what an authority figure says. I saw something similar on What Would You Do (ABC primetime). They got people to kidnap a baby (fake), or do other things. The worst one was when a bamboozled person revealed that they did it because their own sister's baby had been kidnapped... they were wondering if the cop's requests were legit.. I thought she wouldn't do it. You'd think that have her NOT do it. But instead, she could've ended up helping someone else kidnap a woman's baby.
ReplyDeleteAlso, M.E., by saying that people always deserve what they get, you're saying that NO ONE can be fooled without having to be irresponsible, which just isn't true. Sometimes someone's just that good. Don't think you're immune to being fooled either. You may have already gotten fooled.
ReplyDeleteThe easiest situations are when there's nothing really suspicious about it- it could've easily been true, and the person is a great actress or actor, and they appear in real distress. An example would be: A man catches a woman crying somewhere. It appears she was trying not to be seen. She says her boyfriend was abusing her, her make up is smeared, tears down her face. After much talking, she says she forgot her money at his place, and she doesn't want to get the police involved (fair enough... if THAT wasn't believable, it would mean way less instances of long abusive relationships). She gets money from this new "rescuer."
Only mistake he made was not thinking, during all of it, "what if this is all an act?" Even that may seem stupid to you, but it's easy not to think of that while everything's going on.. seeing the overwhelmed woman. The fact you wouldn't care in the first place affects your view of it, I think, M.E.
It may seem stupid in a movie when people KNOW what's going to happen, and they may shout "Dumb ass!", but if they didn't know that would happen, I'm sure it would've been a different story. The audience would've been surprised too, like a plot twist.
I don't think you're going to find many, if any, sociopaths or likewise to ever claim immunity to ruses.
DeleteA core difference would be that where a normal would perhaps be incited, a more manipulative and devious personality might actual be amused that someone exploited their blind spot, if for no other reason than strengthening their defenses.
It's a strange sort of paradoxical quality where when a person is normally resistant to responsibility and accountability, they not only embrace the fact that they've been played, but they've come to appreciate a few new tricks they would have been unaware of, previously.
I've seen such sentiments shared several times here.
To say you do not deserve what you get is to say reality is a lie. Like, this isn't suppose to be. But guess what idiot, it is.
DeleteTrickery is trickery......it's not fate dumbass
DeleteFate-an unorchestrated outcome
DeleteTrickery-a manipulated outcome
U are so lost. Nothing can be anything other than it is, to include reality. Your manipulation was your fate. U get what U get. Dumb-cunt.
DeleteAnyone can manipulate an outcome....That is YOUR reality, the only one you know.....but don't assume that is by any means my reality. Trickery and manipulation is not to be confused with fate "you get what you deserve" is only true IF trickery and manipulation is absent.
DeleteBull Shit. You get what you get. Regardless if there was some cosmic force that gives it to you or some fucker fools you, you get what you get. That IS reality.
DeleteYour reality is based on knowing outcomes forced by manipulations, feigned personas, trickery and evil. No fear there. Only a coward
DeleteRight. You are REALLY a coward. I don't think there is an argument here.
DeleteNo point in arguing ignorance. The picture Etched in my mind for eternity depicts a coward of all cowards. A perfect portrait and explanation to the scenarios that must exist to have raised up a monster like yourself.
Delete^^^^
DeleteWrong.......what you witnessed was strength. Something you will never know.
DeleteAnon 9:00
DeleteDo you want to expand on your statement?
Anon 9:00
DeleteEither you are euphoric or delusional.
I love playing the game, but I would not say I am immune to other players. With my own point of view, I can't help being amused when someone manages to trick me lol
DeleteAnon 9:23 AM
Delete"With my own point of view, I can't help being amused when someone manages to trick me lol."
It sounds good.......but it's a lie.
You are right anon 923.....the only way to say it better is......just another lie. You don't even know who you are anymore.
Delete928 is what I meant. Lie!
DeleteGet that weak shit out of here :) you couldn't see me with binoculars.
DeleteWho's the coward?
DeleteA "Covert Malignant Narcissist" can seem highly defensive and extremely hostile whilst masking beneath their facade an insecure sense of emotional vulnerability, a vulnerability they will do anything to prevent exposing. Who's the coward? lol
Your psyco babble is nothing more than You projecting your miserable self onto me. A chameleon that experiences life through others sufferings.....Look up the definitions and look in the mirror without the toothepaste
DeleteAnon, Monica, 10:22
DeleteYeah I can see you. You appear to be the wicked witch that is melting. hmmmm
Impressive recovery
DeleteI have yet to see anyone genuinely impressed by you, Monica
DeleteThe best way out of a hole......stop digging
DeleteBut you are using the largest shovel with 4 on standby.
DeleteReally? Cuz you buried me in a grave with yours?
DeleteOh, we all know you will raise from the grave. lol
DeleteI am not evil like you. Never was......we are all capable of evil, but it only defines some of us. It never mattered to me. I made mistakes but only trying to survive not because I am evil.
DeleteI am not evil.......unlike, you, I am not a habitual liar and deceiver.
DeleteWhen faced with evil, one resorts to evi.....not because they are, but survival instincts kick in....I blogged about this very thing today "facing the Monsters" if you care to read, you will find yourself
DeleteI don't give a fuck what you blogged. You have nothing to teach me because you are a "Snake." But I am aware that you are unable to see your evil.
DeleteYou know nothing about me except what you've compiled unlawfully. YOU are the snake!!
DeleteWhen is reading the statements in this room "unlawful?" See, another lie. And you defined the snake....^
DeleteYou are beyond disturbed. Everything makes perfect sense now
DeleteWell... thanks for the entertainment, whoever you fucking snake ass cowards are... LOL!
Delete"Everything makes perfect sense now."
DeleteOnly, in your mind.....
Right "friend".
DeleteI'm not your "friend" and I'm not Eden. Just another one of your lies.
DeleteThere are two dipshits--eden and ellicit. Guess either and you will be 50% right, all the da--ummn time :D
DeleteYou are just butthurt anonymous 331. Ellicit and Eden are the two smartest, strongest women on here. They offer great advice, are not afraid to call people on their bullshit and are very entertaining when toying with someone. Get over yourself.
DeleteOn the mob mentality comment about people going to war: I do not think it makes sense to assume that people are just going with the status quo... there are certainly better ways to go with it other than abandoning your family to "fight for your country." I think your psychopathy affects your view here, M.E. The illusion that they're mighty, brave, courageous people doing something "good" for their country is what drives it. You may not understand this because you wouldn't even understand doing it even when something IS a good, courageous act for a group of people.
ReplyDeleteI am anti-war. I've seen comments like "they fought for you and this country! They defended your life!" Really? Which war? And where would I be if they hadn't had that war?
I dislike the fact that war is glorified, when all it takes is killing someone out of battle for you to be an awful person deserving of the electric chair. Can't they say that killing loads of people in war is doing the same thing? The same thing that makes them believe that someone deserves to die or suffer? They are taking away people's lives, fathers, and mothers. They're causing grief and suffering. Granted, that mother or father abandoned their family and risked their lives to go kill people, but that was their decision, not the family's.
War is just a euphemism for mass slaughter.
Killing people in order to win an argument is such a barbarous game.
Apparently, the movie was pretty spot on with the actual event that happened in Mount Washington, Kentucky.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqUm-Zk3_Ws&feature=related
ReplyDeleteThe fast food strip search scenario was played out on an episode of Law & Order SVU, perpetrated by Robin Williams :)
ReplyDeleteMmmmmm... Mariska Hargitay :D
ReplyDeleteeveryone always comments on how compliant banal people can do evil things, but always leave out that compliant banal people can also act like heroes
ReplyDeleteMonica <3
ReplyDeleteMonica <3
ReplyDeleteMonica <3
ReplyDeleteMonica is a good person, as she wants to help people and not put them down. She tries to do good things with her life, instead of putting them down. Unlike some of you.
ReplyDeleteMonica <3
I like Monica too and I totally agree! She is nice and accepting on a site full of abrasive assholes.
DeleteIs Monica a Narcissist? I read on here somewhere that she was......... It wouldnt change my view of her because she has always been so nice, Iam just wondering if there was any truth to that.
DeleteYes, everything she says is the truth and only the truth. She's not a narcissist.
DeleteInteresting!!!!!!! Now I wanna get to know more about her.......
DeleteMost people have narcissistic traits. It is really just a fancy name for too much or too little ego. We all struggle with our egos.
DeleteMy father had Narcissism probably to the point of NPD, but he was also very mean and cruel at the same time........ Would that be a Malignant narcissist? He would never hit you with fists, just with words of rage.
DeleteSam Vaknin wrote a brilliant book on Malignant Narcissism. Alice Miller talks about it in "The Drama of the Gifted Child"
DeleteNarcissism is really an ego that is out of whack. We think we are "so great" or "so bad". Either way, the ego is out of whack and the person wears a mask which is called the false self.
The person feels he is not OK, as he is. He feels as if he has to hide. Shame about one's self worth fuels it.
There are degrees of it. The worst degree is the Mal Narc who has little to no awareness of this. There are varying degrees down from there.
NPD is when the narcissism is "stuck on" and the person really can't move away from it.
A PD is a "stuck on" version of any number of false constructs about the self.
If one can face one's true self, the PD will not be necessary, as it is a defense mechanism.
Definate PD with my father........ NPD with psychopathic traits I'd say....... But Iam no psychiatrist/psychologist,just going by living with him for the first 8 years of my life.
DeleteYeah Monica I have been to Sam Vaknin's website and read alopt of excerpts from that book and I also ended up watching the movie he did called "I,Psychopath" on Youtube. Ive also seen his videos on youtube, he seems brilliant although he is so Narcissistic in real life he reminds me of my father he uses all the same shitto keep people around him in check and "under his thumb", walking on eggshells at all times....... Sometimes I believe he is A Malignant Narcissist because regular Narcissists probably arent close to being as mean as he is/could be.
Vaknin's stuff was very educational for me......... I will look into the book you mentioned, thank you for being so nice and helpful Monica!
Also, Monica, are any of your parents disordered? Sometimes I think I may have inherited some of my fathers traits and I have definatly inherited his alcoholism but I dont blame my drinking on him, people were drunks from both sides of my family........
DeleteMy mother is fine and emotionally healthy, but my father is a completely different story.
My mother WAS a Mal Narc. She is a therapist, as people know on here. I had not talked to her for a long time-over a year. When I called her a few weeks ago, she was crying and said she was sorry for how she treated me and my brother. She said she realized how narcissistic she was and she asked for my forgiveness.
DeleteIn the meantime, I had matured enough to see that people are prisoners of their emotions, to a large degree. I had more humility about myself and life, so I can accept her as very flawed, as I am very flawed, too.
It has been really wonderful to have this kind of healing.
I say "was" a Mal Narc as it is defined by denial. If a person comes out of denial, they are not a Mal Narc, as the denial defines it.
She is narcissistic, as many people are. That is the ego and it's reduction.
Rich, I think CEO was saying that if you stick around SW, you will have a great chance to grow, as I have. I am not the same person who came through these doors over a year ago~
All your experiences, here, will help you, even the worst ones, most especially the worst ones xxx
Very interesting and insightful Monica! Thank you for that post! My father is most definatly a Malignant Narcissist because he will NEVER EVER realize he isint a "normal" person/personality and will continue to deny and deny to protect his fragile, shallow ego.
DeleteOne time he asked me if I wanted to walk to the store with him while I was watching TV and I said "No iam okay ill just stay home" and he actually sit there and BERATED ME UNTIL I BROKE DOWN IN TEARS because I didnt want to walk to the store with him!!!! The exact reason I didnt want to go to the store is because I knew he would berate me on the way there and wanted to avoid it and instead he just went all out on me at home when I was like 6 years old. I think he has damaged me a little I wont sit here and lie....... But we havent talked since I was 14, and Iam 24 now..........
I will try to stick aound to learn about myself even if it is harshly delievered to me by sociopaths and people like CEO, I just want them to be nice and respect me and I will respect them and take their comments more seriously like I take yours!
Thank you for being my friend and showing me the ropes Monica, I appreciate it.
Awww You are only 24?
DeleteMonica
DeleteShuck & jive - look up the definition..
she was sorry for how she treated me and my brother. She said she realized how narcissistic she was and she asked for my forgiveness.
Deletehaha! how weird that you just realised you were a narcissist by the same time...
I say "was" a Mal Narc as it is defined by denial. If a person comes out of denial, they are not a Mal Narc, as the denial defines it.
DeleteSounds very familiar, too.
Do you have any idea how crazy you are, Monica?
So, WHICH two perfect people do we have here ~
DeleteLOL Yes Monica, Iam only 24 years old. I thought that most of the people here would be in that "age range" but now Iam not so sure about that........
DeleteWell, Rich, just stick around. I may be your only friend( or a rare one) as people don't, normally, make friends around here, although I do have several friends, now that I think about it~
DeleteVery true, jack. I agree.
ReplyDeleteThe diagnosis was conclusive. You are a lovely person, Monica.
ReplyDeleteFake fomentiles. The real one always mentions his jaguar!
DeleteEXACTLY
DeleteSomeone is very keen on Fomentile History!
Do the alert SW member who noticed the glaring Fomentile omission, lets see if he can outdo himself.
DeleteWhich Fomentile brother was favored by Momma Fomentile?
*To*
DeleteDid Frank and Eric ever get their trailer painted?
DeleteThat jaguar must really spruce up that place. lol
*SNIFF* Trailer???????????????
DeleteTNP I have a question for you.
ReplyDeleteWhen was the last time you played with somebody emotionally? Why did you do it?
I'll answer the question if you post under your real name.
DeleteI didn't ask it, but I do like the question. Would you answer if the question came from me?
Delete"When was the last time you played with somebody emotionally? Why did you do it?"
Tomatoes Tomotoes
DeleteAre you talking about in a malevolent way, or just in general? And what's the severity?
Delete
Delete"When was the last time you played with somebody emotionally? Why did you do it?"
One time I got this guy's wife to separate from him because I could.
UKan try to ride the glory of UKan by attaching to his candle, but UKan never reach the heights of that great man. UKan climb the proverbial mountain and forge the proverbial sea but UKan, UKan never be.
DeleteI am also interested in your answer Tom
ReplyDeleteI take it you are the same anon as this:
DeleteAnonymousSeptember 18, 2012 11:29 AM
TNP I have a question for you.
When was the last time you played with somebody emotionally? Why did you do it?
and you are now asking the same question of me... is this correct?
Uh no bitch. I was the first anonymous poster. I don't know who you are Tom Hill. I was talking to TNP.
DeleteVery glad U cleared up that shite, Anon 4:55. Do U feel better about Urself? U r so powerful.
DeleteOh no.... Not same....just interested because I have followed you Tom and find you of great interest...would like to hear your answer!!
ReplyDeleteVery well...
Deletetoday and for amusement.
Ahhhh.....a lack of enthusiasm shown here Tom but I understand, you are quite a busy man.
DeleteNot too busy at the moment... I answered the question to the "t". Is there something more you wanted? Needed? Expected? I'm enthusiastic as all get out!
DeleteAhhhh.....a lack of enthusiasm shown here Tom but I understand, you are quite a busy man.
DeleteWhy did my post appear twice. Lots of doubles around here
DeleteSorry, I won't answer any of you guys' questions unless you send some money to my manager, Extremity.
ReplyDeleteTold No Pay...
DeleteTotally Not Playing
"Don't hate the player, hate the mutha-fuckin game!"
That's *guys's, you heathen impostor!
DeleteExtremity is an Eden multiple.
DeleteThats's fucking awesome! I poke fun at someone, drop by a few hours later and find out it got Monica attacked XD
ReplyDeleteDoes this get Monica off the hook? lol
DeleteNo, Eden will keep her on the hook.
DeleteLOL LOL
DeleteOk.
Seriously? I just *laughed out loud* at the thought of Raven stalking you on sw, Monica. Not because I am sadistic, but because you persist in this ridiculous- and therefore hilarious- delusion! Raven is not lurking here just to take jabs at you. It's just a bunch of regulars (or possibly just extremity :) pushing your buttons. Let it go, already. :-)
Let it go, already.
Alterego
DeleteI don't care. Eden is small potatoes. I am being forced to be much more outspoken in my regular life. I learned how to deal with small potatoes on here ~
I most definitely am not raven. Trust me, if I had a vagina I would not have time to play on SW. I would be too busy taking over the world :D I kind of like Monica because she reminds me of a real life buddy, but it gets on my nerves when she starts prattling on about her mother just to try and hog the spotlight. It's not just her though. We should have our heads together coming up with a plan to influence this generation of little heathens growing up who will be in charge of things in a few years. You all see how psychos are idolized by youngsters these days. Who doesn't need an army of pets who will be lawyers, judges, politicians, etc? I'm not just talking shit here, I do have the beginnings of a plan.
DeleteAnon 6:58
DeleteMonica, pscho babble ^^
I am not trying to hog the spotlight. This is my honest place to come when I have a problem. I know I will get the truth, here( minus the few who like to harass for the pleasure of it ~ )
DeleteMonica why do you pretend to be others as in the 6:58 AM post?
DeleteTNP: This is the original Anonymous.
ReplyDeleteI'm not posting under my name because I don't have a profile on this website. I just want to hear some stories from you. All we hear about is m.e. m.e. m.e. I want to hear about YOU, TNP. Fuck your manager.
I don't post as an Anon TNP, but ok.
DeleteWhere should I start? Ah, yes.
It all started with the miracle of life...
I don't know how to post as someone other than "anonymous" unless I create a profile, which I don't want to do...
DeleteAh, yes, the miracle of life that popped out TNP. When was the last time you fucked with somebody's emotions/mind? Why? And how?
Do share. Please.
Why do you want to know, anyway? Some sort of voyeuristic interest?
DeleteBecause you interest me, so naturally, I would like to hear stories from you.
DeleteWhy don't you want to share?
Theme for the newest sock puppets John, Theodore, and Jack
ReplyDeleteTheme for John, Theodore and Jack
DeleteYou dedicate songs to your own sock puppets? That's so cute, Monica! :)
DeleteSo far, the socks are behaving themselves but I doubt it will stay that way ~
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ReplyDelete