I wanted to share something with you. I could not learn lessons, as a child, because I was in a war mentality. I had to try to survive with my mind intact, which I did not do too well, but I am here, at least.
Anyway, what I wanted to tell you was that when I first came to SW, people told me that I wanted to be abused. I thought they were stupid, but they were right. I was going back to what was familiar. I saw this with 2 woman, one is the mal narc, who has been dogging me for two years. She became my friend and my enemy, back and forth. She turned into my enemy, again, but this time I walked away and I don't feel anything. I don't need to engage with her, anymore. I walked away, with no fanfare or anything. I just don't need to be abused, anymore.
I have something in common with you. WHen I came here, (and it was a long time ago) i remember someone -some random regular, idk, said "gang bang anyone?"
The sock puppets kept engaging me and being nice one minute then tricking me the next with another puppet THey were complimenting me on my so-called progress, standing up for myself, then even telling me I was like them on a sister website. And I almost believed them
But i still cannot make up my mind whether i like to be abused.
Each day I ask myself if I just provide myself as a mouse with cats, doing chase capture . I always stay alive. I am good prey for them. It is not boring for me the same way it was not boring for me to play games with my ex, who I wanted BACK! That is pretty sick, right? HE is a mal narc. HE didnt care about me. I was a playmate/plaything. But a thing, not a person.
Do you know what he would say to me???
He would say that on the dating site, he didnt like it that women treated him like he was just a thing on his computer at home. He was offended (he said), He said "I mean I am a person!" and he would touch himself hard, feeling his flesh, like to prove he was alive... TO this day I think he is offended by people treating him like cardboard, and goes around treating people like cardboard.
He is just as conflicted. This i am sure of. So what is the difference between him and me? If he continues to interact with the world this way, does he like abuse too? DOes he enjoy the roller coaster, too? HE cannot escape the world where people, All PEOPLE use .
So I even told myself this place was protecting me from real life damage. funny how lie to myself. Bt still, idk what istrue or not. they like to make you want to commit suicide here. They tried. but STILL I came here. EVERY DAY. wtf?. It was not for the abuse, i did not think. Even you want me to cry -for healing intentions. But you are part sociopath, amiright? I cry alot. You are abusing me with your sock puppets. am I liking the abuse? I am "healing" I cry every day and you like it.
I went out with a guy who told me he liked crying girls. He was drawn to me, and before me, drawn to a girl in the hospital with a mangled body --some kind of spinal column thing, idk. HE was hurt she dumped him.
To the person who asked about my part in the abuse, I think I did a number of things, but one was to call abuse down on myself. However, when someone does this, it is a repitition/compulsion, as Psych calls it. The person is not being a jerk or a "victim", per se. They are unconsciously setting up their childhood situation. They can't help it. It is part of their fiber, their cells, so to speak, because it is part of the core of who they are. You can only change it by going through it enough times and HAVING SUPPORT while you do, as it is too painful to deal with alone. At some point, you see it. Once you see it, it is gone, pretty much. There is no other way to get rid of it imo
She and I took a lot of jabs at each other. Both people did things wrong. However, I do not attack first, as I really am not a fighter kind of person, but I will attack back, and not always in the best way. Is there a best way~
Monica, not to bring up therapists........., but my new pdoc once dared me you to do it (call a toxic bf when they are not good for me ) one thousand times more. She said that even a child learns the stove is hot after a touching a million times.
The previous one would have me sit in his chair and look at something from a different angle . i got it, sure. It didnt make a difference.
This new one, she has worked in the prison system. She looks like Peppermint Patty.
My mother is a therapist. I have to tell her the most elementary things about human nature. She thinks I am some sort of an emotional genius. That is how stupid she is. I will never trust myself to a therapist, again.
Monica 2:17 I am not Medusa. Medusa would have spelled "persona," correctly. But everyone got to see your "gaslighting." Or is that a sloven word for evil. Teehee
Hey sociopaths, allow me to crowd source a problem I'm having. I'm running into an interesting phenomenom and I'm unsure how to move forward and take advantage of the situation. At work and in my personal life, the women fall under my seductive spell. Unfortunately, I'm gay so I have n interest in a relationship or fucking them. What are interesting ways you S'es have leveraged a well laid seduction to intesting or profitablle ways? I feel like I'm missing out on gains. I've done all this work to cultivate a resource and I'm not sure now how to use it. =/ Women in power love me like their son, women with husbands love me as a good friend, and women my age secretly lust after me. What would you use this resource to get? How would you use this resource to get what you want?
Money, foremost. I'm going through a business-building phase. Networking would be beneficial for establishing a client base and good references. I want a good and widespread reputation. What reputational qualities do my successful seductions allow me to cultivate? What cornerstone "single-word" facet am I adding to my pressence when all of these women are falling for me?
These are the questions I can't answer for myself. To elaborate on your question, I want money; I want "power" (Quotations for imprecise language); and I want a wide network of spies, confidants, informants, cat's paws, references, concubines, and friends (people who provide me enjoyment. Ultimately I want a mate who I can groom to handle the real me and who is skilled and intelligent enough to manage my business for me so I can enjoy more profitable opportunities. That is what I want. What is your take?
Well if you want those things, you're obviously going to have to find a way to get them for yourself. I myself wouldn't advise leading the women on because you're gay. This will only harm your reputation. Instead, use your charm and influence to manipulate. If they show romantic advancement, tell them you're gay. Believe it or not, this can have a great effect because many women will find you even more desirable after they find that out.
You're right M. Brig. Thanks for the advice. Sometimes its easier to accept something you've thought when someone else says it. Usually that means you haven't thought it through at all. :-)
@Monica: You're too easy on yourself. You're not a goody two-shoes. You're a dumb whore. Don't reply to me.
So, you've done all this work to cultivate *well laid* seductions, but you're not sure how to use them? Your planning leaves something to be desired =/
Caesar, this isn't the game for you. You're vain and you don't want to get your hands dirty. If you cannot see your advantage in these circumstances, all the advice in the world won't help you.
But here's a pro-tip: manipulate the women under your *seductive spell* for power, connections, money and in-kind gifts. QM
Hey anon, thanks for replying. My planning definitely leaves quite a bit to be desired. For sure. But if you want to master a new field you have to master the parts then the whole. I haven't gotten there. Yet. I appreciate the pro-tip. I'll admit my first post borders on histrionic but I was just occupying my boredom with flowery language while I sat in a class. No-bordo.
"I hadn't been able to trust since the age of four. I was torn between wanting to be cradled and telling the world to go fuck itself, and those were opposite sides of the same coin. ~ Betsy Lerner
there is a documentary i just saw on mothering and criminality. the babies who self soothed ended up in prison. It's true. The babies did crying to their mother until they sat on their little baby hands and put their faces in the carpet to comfort themselves. THis was after minutes of the mother just staring at the baby, not picking it up.
They mushed out the faces of theses moms. If you want to see it I will try to look it up. It was just on tv.
If I don't have the fog to beat all fogs, I have jarring cymbals and fire engine anxiety. It is always there, unless the fog replaces it and then it becomes soundless. I am not right, as grandmothers used to say. I may never be. Some things can't be fixed. Some can. Who the fuck knows about these things?
Maybe, no one is right. They just pretend. I hate that you have to slyly figure out things, from a sideways perspective. You have to spend you life like a friggin Sherlock Holmes, trying to ferret out the simplest truths, while people are wildly proclaiming that they are not the very thing you SEE with your own two eyes.
I am just tired. I used to be able to see with the correct sight, not myopic or hyperopia, just normal. Normal is knowing that what you see with your eyes, you can trust like standing on the earth and knowing that there will not be an earthquake, in the next 5 seconds. Is there really a security like that? I don't frigging know and in not knowing I cannot figure out anything else.
The people I want to hate ( and do hate) could not feel the ground. In their flailing, they hit me with their wild arm movements. They were trying to save themselves from drowning and I was collateral damage. It is all such a mess that I want to sit on the floor and cry.
I want to destroy myself for all my transgressions, sins, if you will. I know it is stupid because what did I really do? I have a hidden bomb ticking inside. The bomb sniffing dogs would attack me, if I happened to be walking by a crime scene.
I try to analyze it logically, but I come up with nothing. I think I have to knife it to shreds, so it fears the fuck out of me. One can't be a pussy in the fight for one's life.
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You mean Yin and Yang. Love his book "Small Is Beautiful-a study of economics as if people mattered".
ReplyDeleteHello and Good Morning Onani and Sociopathworld!!!!!!
ReplyDeletehi there. sleep good?
DeleteQM
Hi Onani, Rich, QM and Everyone!
DeleteI wanted to share something with you. I could not learn lessons, as a child, because I was in a war mentality. I had to try to survive with my mind intact, which I did not do too well, but I am here, at least.
Anyway, what I wanted to tell you was that when I first came to SW, people told me that I wanted to be abused. I thought they were stupid, but they were right. I was going back to what was familiar. I saw this with 2 woman, one is the mal narc, who has been dogging me for two years. She became my friend and my enemy, back and forth. She turned into my enemy, again, but this time I walked away and I don't feel anything. I don't need to engage with her, anymore. I walked away, with no fanfare or anything. I just don't need to be abused, anymore.
What role did you play in this scenario?
Deletethat's good, monica.
DeleteI have something in common with you. WHen I came here, (and it was a long time ago) i remember someone -some random regular, idk, said "gang bang anyone?"
The sock puppets kept engaging me and being nice one minute then tricking me the next with another puppet THey were complimenting me on my so-called progress, standing up for myself, then even telling me I was like them on a sister website. And I almost believed them
But i still cannot make up my mind whether i like to be abused.
Each day I ask myself if I just provide myself as a mouse with cats, doing chase capture . I always stay alive. I am good prey for them. It is not boring for me the same way it was not boring for me to play games with my ex, who I wanted BACK! That is pretty sick, right? HE is a mal narc. HE didnt care about me. I was a playmate/plaything. But a thing, not a person.
Do you know what he would say to me???
He would say that on the dating site, he didnt like it that women treated him like he was just a thing on his computer at home. He was offended (he said), He said "I mean I am a person!" and he would touch himself hard, feeling his flesh, like to prove he was alive... TO this day I think he is offended by people treating him like cardboard, and goes around treating people like cardboard.
He is just as conflicted. This i am sure of. So what is the difference between him and me? If he continues to interact with the world this way, does he like abuse too? DOes he enjoy the roller coaster, too? HE cannot escape the world where people, All PEOPLE use .
So I even told myself this place was protecting me from real life damage. funny how lie to myself. Bt still, idk what istrue or not. they like to make you want to commit suicide here. They tried. but STILL I came here. EVERY DAY. wtf?. It was not for the abuse, i did not think. Even you want me to cry -for healing intentions. But you are part sociopath, amiright? I cry alot. You are abusing me with your sock puppets.
am I liking the abuse? I am "healing" I cry every day and you like it.
I went out with a guy who told me he liked crying girls. He was drawn to me, and before me, drawn to a girl in the hospital with a mangled body --some kind of spinal column thing, idk. HE was hurt she dumped him.
This world is nuts.
Aww Anon 8:28!
DeleteTo the person who asked about my part in the abuse, I think I did a number of things, but one was to call abuse down on myself. However, when someone does this, it is a repitition/compulsion, as Psych calls it. The person is not being a jerk or a "victim", per se. They are unconsciously setting up their childhood situation. They can't help it. It is part of their fiber, their cells, so to speak, because it is part of the core of who they are. You can only change it by going through it enough times and HAVING SUPPORT while you do, as it is too painful to deal with alone. At some point, you see it. Once you see it, it is gone, pretty much. There is no other way to get rid of it imo
Monica 8:48
Delete"I think I did a number of things."
I recall Raven stating that when she arrived here you talked down to her and pretended to be more intelligent than her using usurpic dialogue.
She and I took a lot of jabs at each other. Both people did things wrong. However, I do not attack first, as I really am not a fighter kind of person, but I will attack back, and not always in the best way. Is there a best way~
DeleteMonica, not to bring up therapists........., but my new pdoc once dared me you to do it (call a toxic bf when they are not good for me ) one thousand times more. She said that even a child learns the stove is hot after a touching a million times.
DeleteThe previous one would have me sit in his chair and look at something from a different angle . i got it, sure. It didnt make a difference.
This new one, she has worked in the prison system. She looks like Peppermint Patty.
My mother is a therapist. I have to tell her the most elementary things about human nature. She thinks I am some sort of an emotional genius. That is how stupid she is. I will never trust myself to a therapist, again.
DeleteYour really enjoy "Gaslighting" your mother?
DeleteIt is not Gaslighting if it is true, Anon. Brush up on your Psych terms or don't talk to your betters ~
DeleteYou have a lot of practice in "gaslighting." That's all.........go brush up on your "goodie too shoes personna." teehee
DeleteMEDUSA you nut@@@
DeleteAnon @ 3:43- Yes! ctually I slept great!!!! How about you?
DeleteHello Monica!!!!!
Monica 2:17
DeleteI am not Medusa. Medusa would have spelled "persona," correctly. But everyone got to see your "gaslighting." Or is that a sloven word for evil.
Teehee
Hi Rich
DeleteLooks like the crazies are out tonight. It must be a full moon~
cryptic M.E. is cryptic?
ReplyDeleteincompatibility what? if you can explain, i'll get you a coffee. (or a beer, whatever) you know, if i ever meet you. heh.
(Onani +1 for obscure textual reference. still don't get it.)
QM
I solved it!!!! You didnt see that???
DeleteHow so Rich?
DeleteQM
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHey sociopaths, allow me to crowd source a problem I'm having. I'm running into an interesting phenomenom and I'm unsure how to move forward and take advantage of the situation. At work and in my personal life, the women fall under my seductive spell. Unfortunately, I'm gay so I have n interest in a relationship or fucking them. What are interesting ways you S'es have leveraged a well laid seduction to intesting or profitablle ways? I feel like I'm missing out on gains. I've done all this work to cultivate a resource and I'm not sure now how to use it. =/ Women in power love me like their son, women with husbands love me as a good friend, and women my age secretly lust after me. What would you use this resource to get? How would you use this resource to get what you want?
ReplyDeleteThe question is what do you want?
DeleteMoney, foremost. I'm going through a business-building phase. Networking would be beneficial for establishing a client base and good references. I want a good and widespread reputation. What reputational qualities do my successful seductions allow me to cultivate? What cornerstone "single-word" facet am I adding to my pressence when all of these women are falling for me?
DeleteThese are the questions I can't answer for myself. To elaborate on your question, I want money; I want "power" (Quotations for imprecise language); and I want a wide network of spies, confidants, informants, cat's paws, references, concubines, and friends (people who provide me enjoyment. Ultimately I want a mate who I can groom to handle the real me and who is skilled and intelligent enough to manage my business for me so I can enjoy more profitable opportunities. That is what I want. What is your take?
I am going to sound like a goody two shoes, but if you lay plans for people's destruction or hurt, it will come back on you. It is a spiritual law.
DeleteWell if you want those things, you're obviously going to have to find a way to get them for yourself. I myself wouldn't advise leading the women on because you're gay. This will only harm your reputation. Instead, use your charm and influence to manipulate. If they show romantic advancement, tell them you're gay. Believe it or not, this can have a great effect because many women will find you even more desirable after they find that out.
DeleteAnd Monica: nothing is a "spiritual law." As long
DeleteAs you're careful, you can get away with almost anything.
Fucking mobile commenting. I give up.
DeleteYou're right M. Brig. Thanks for the advice. Sometimes its easier to accept something you've thought when someone else says it. Usually that means you haven't thought it through at all. :-)
@Monica: You're too easy on yourself. You're not a goody two-shoes. You're a dumb whore. Don't reply to me.
R-r-roid rage!
Delete[Haemorrhoid]
LOL
DeleteM Brig
DeleteI am not saying you cannot get away with it, per se but it will come to bite you, somehow imo.
you get thrown off the ice cliff, like the eskimos do. You have to keep moving from town to town. Like a FUGITIVE!!!
DeleteSo, you've done all this work to cultivate *well laid* seductions, but you're not sure how to use them? Your planning leaves something to be desired =/
ReplyDeleteCaesar, this isn't the game for you. You're vain and you don't want to get your hands dirty. If you cannot see your advantage in these circumstances, all the advice in the world won't help you.
But here's a pro-tip: manipulate the women under your *seductive spell* for power, connections, money and in-kind gifts.
QM
Hey anon, thanks for replying. My planning definitely leaves quite a bit to be desired. For sure. But if you want to master a new field you have to master the parts then the whole. I haven't gotten there. Yet. I appreciate the pro-tip. I'll admit my first post borders on histrionic but I was just occupying my boredom with flowery language while I sat in a class. No-bordo.
DeleteWhen you view relationships as 'seduction's' or 'games', you're only ruining the experience for yourself.
ReplyDeleteJust sad.
Oh, right.
DeleteYou're a bunch of fags.
Theme Series
DeleteTheme for Caesar
DeleteHeh thanks Themes
Delete"I hadn't been able to trust since the age of four. I was torn between wanting to be cradled and telling the world to go fuck itself, and those were opposite sides of the same coin.
ReplyDelete~ Betsy Lerner
there is a documentary i just saw on mothering and criminality. the babies who self soothed ended up in prison. It's true. The babies did crying to their mother until they sat on their little baby hands and put their faces in the carpet to comfort themselves. THis was after minutes of the mother just staring at the baby, not picking it up.
ReplyDeleteThey mushed out the faces of theses moms. If you want to see it I will try to look it up. It was just on tv.
Anon 1:35
DeleteI'll pass........My Betsy Lerner quote was an example of opposites and how most people have lived.
Strange.
DeleteAnon 1:57
DeleteAre you ABLE to explain?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteTension is a necessity in life. It's what motivates us, its what pushes us, it's what drives us to love and to hate.
ReplyDelete...and it's occasionally what drives us crazy.
DeleteIs that your excuse?
DeleteThat's my being poetic. But good job not having a sense of humor.
DeleteHaven 2:48
DeleteI would look to Monica for posting the 2:35.
That wouldn't surprise me a bit. Monica is a coward and still hiding.
DeleteThough if it was Monica... she would probably know better in regards to me.
DeleteLol.
DeleteOh, Haven, have mercy on us!
DeleteI am sure Monica is scared shitless of you ~
ReplyDeleteMonica on the rampage!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteIf I don't have the fog to beat all fogs, I have jarring cymbals and fire engine anxiety. It is always there, unless the fog replaces it and then it becomes soundless. I am not right, as grandmothers used to say. I may never be. Some things can't be fixed. Some can. Who the fuck knows about these things?
ReplyDeleteMaybe, no one is right. They just pretend. I hate that you have to slyly figure out things, from a sideways perspective. You have to spend you life like a friggin Sherlock Holmes, trying to ferret out the simplest truths, while people are wildly proclaiming that they are not the very thing you SEE with your own two eyes.
DeleteI am just tired. I used to be able to see with the correct sight, not myopic or hyperopia, just normal. Normal is knowing that what you see with your eyes, you can trust like standing on the earth and knowing that there will not be an earthquake, in the next 5 seconds. Is there really a security like that? I don't frigging know and in not knowing I cannot figure out anything else.
The people I want to hate ( and do hate) could not feel the ground. In their flailing, they hit me with their wild arm movements. They were trying to save themselves from drowning and I was collateral damage. It is all such a mess that I want to sit on the floor and cry.
ReplyDelete<3
DeleteI want to destroy myself for all my transgressions, sins, if you will. I know it is stupid because what did I really do? I have a hidden bomb ticking inside. The bomb sniffing dogs would attack me, if I happened to be walking by a crime scene.
ReplyDeleteI try to analyze it logically, but I come up with nothing. I think I have to knife it to shreds, so it fears the fuck out of me. One can't be a pussy in the fight for one's life.
Thanks for any other informative site. The place else could I get that kind of info written in such a perfect manner? I have a mission that I am simply now running on, and I've been at the look out for such info.
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