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Monday, March 18, 2013

Diagnose me

From a reader:

Hey, I'm 17 and I took lots of the psychology tests online and the results are that apparently I'm a psychopath. But I would like an opinion from somebody who is one (takes one to know one?). Anyways, I've been called cold and inconsiderate of feelings by my friends all the time. I really don't care what happens to anybody, and I don't remember what it feels like to feel bad for somebody, or maybe I don't know. I've killed a few animals just because I can, for example I was walking in a forest with my friend during a camping trip and saw a baby squirrel that fell out of its nest and was trying to clumsily clamber up the tree, I quickly grabbed a thick stick and rammed it into the squirrel impaling it right through the chest, just because I wanted to, because I COULD. 

Anyways later my friend told people what I did and I twisted it so that it seemed he was a bigger part of it. I never feel bad for anything, and at school when it doesn't benefit me, I enjoy degrading people but when confronted I always seem to talk people into the ground. I also enjoy using people and its surprising how easy it is to convince people that I'm not mean to them when I need to use them. I also don't have much patience for things and get bored much too easily, I've went out to go look for some stray cats or somebody's that might be outside to kill (I did it once by snapping its neck) some animals but never find them. Also here's a big part, I ENJOY making people angry, either get them angry at me or at somebody else. The madder I make somebody, the better I feel, a sense of satisfaction overcomes. But this could come with making people frustrated with things or others. Can you explain that part to me and if it has anything to do with psychopathy/sociopath. 

Also I never feel nervous or afraid, we would have a big test and everybody was nervous except me. I've watched videos on the internet of people being decapitated and in one video the decapitee started screaming and I didn't give a shit. I think I'm pretty smart and constantly challenge myself by taking the hardest classes possible, and I see things way differently than other people do, in the sense that how easy it is to exploit and manipulate people, how feelings never inhibit me and they're pretty shallow I think. Anyways can you get back to me with your conclusion ?

81 comments:

  1. My dear friend, you are a sociopath. But not to worry it doesn't make you truly a menace, unless you are truly pushed and crave certain things that are perceived negatively in our society.

    An old friend of mine was a bit like you, I was very intimate with that person and grew to know how he truly was and accepted it. A thirst for killing animals is quite common and also pursuing challenges (usually to be better which means being smarter than anyone else) is also a factor.

    I challenge you however to try and feel love, it'll drive you mad but if you do you'll be a god (perfect) in our society.

    Cheers!
    -MC

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    Replies
    1. Poor little squirrel. May he/she come back as a sharp pointy stick that pokes your eye out. Thus, a new world outlook for the smart man! That has to be one of the most intelligent, and challenging feats that I have ever read about. Conquering the unsurmountable! Bravo!

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  2. Hmmm looks like I get to steal the spotlight this time.

    As to the reader, he says enjoys riling people up, but he doesn't seem to be actively seeking to gain power over them. In my opinion, it's much more fun to befriend people, and then have them do your bidding. Angering people might be exciting for a little while, but then you lose control of them, and where does that leave you?

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    Replies
    1. Stasis, what happens inside you when you do your own bidding and you are the best one at it?

      Delete
    2. If you have to do something personally, then it should always be something that you are much better than others at; just never brag about it, let others come to their own conclusions. This ensures that the people around you will keep putting you on a pedestal and believe on some subconscious level that you are far superior to them. This makes them value your 'help'/'friendship'/leadership more. If you tried to show everyone that you are superior in a blatant way, then you would just be obnoxious.

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    3. An addendum: the general rule is to leave all the work that would tarnish your image to your 'friends'/lackeys, while do all the work that would make you look 'good' personally.

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    4. lol. i mean that in a good way.

      there is nothing in this world more satisfying to me than self reliance.

      Delete
  3. As for the desire to hurt animals, it will likely decrease as you grow up.

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  4. Replies
    1. Thank you, Themes. You always pick great tunes for me.

      Delete
  5. Twitter Tweets

    "Sorry to break it to you, but if karma was real, there would be a hell a lot less assholes in the world."

    Perhaps the assholes don't learn and put a lot of energy in hiding that karma. Farmous karma
    recipients: Lindsay Lohan, Brittany Spears, Downey Jr., Kennedys, Marilyn Monroe and many, many, more.

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    Replies
    1. That was a pretty lame joke. But just in case you were serious:

      Perhaps you are desperately looking for examples of people, who weren't even that bad at all, getting fucked over because you know that those in greatest need of being fucked up the ass with an unlubricated cactus by karma, don't actually get what they deserve.

      The examples you provided- you've got to be kidding me. They were just stupid attention whores. Hardly on par with let's say, Josef Mengele, Kim Il Sung, Idi Amin, Hirohito, or for that matter most child abusers.

      Let's face it, there are a lot of people who go around spreading misery that never get what they deserve. They live long and relatively happy lives. There are those who are essentially good, caring people who get royally shafted. There are children living in unbelievable pain and misery from the moment they are born. Such is life.

      There is no karmic justice. You just cling to your little delusion because it makes you feel better about the world. Makes it easier to see evil and do nothing, since someone (or in this case something) else will redress the balance for you.

      Now... you want that hug?

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    2. Do you feel better? More godlike? You reap what you sow and it appears it has taken a toll on you. It shows.

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    3. ^ And quite frankly, I was commenting about assholes not evil demented souls.

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    4. You crack me up, you silly creature :)
      Godlike? Really?
      I try to be (relatively) decent to people because it benefits me, not because of fear of some cosmic force. But yes, I and am one of the assholes who doesn't get quite what they deserve. Most of the bad things that happened to me occurred when I was too young to have deserved any of it.

      My point is, if karma was real, don't you think it should have taken care of those evil, demented souls first and foremost? Or is it that you think it exists, but isn't powerful enough?

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    5. Poor choice of words.......Superior? Really? Because you're condescending. Why?
      Evidently to cover up your poor self esteem.



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    6. After rereading the above and seeing the wording: Go fuck yourself, monica!

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    7. I actually take offense to that. I am not Monica. In fact, she quite hates me. Most of the time anyway.

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    8. What the hell happened to my other post?

      I was trying to say that I am not superior, more like less deluded. The condescension is unintentional, must be my assholish self shining through.

      You still haven't answered my questions. I'm curious what your take on them is.

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    9. Anyway...

      I was also trying to say that I understand when people see the injustices in the world and admit they simply don't care enough to do something about it.
      But it annoys me when they claim to care, even care deeply, but don't do anything much because they are expecting someone or something else to fix the problem. Hiding under the safety blanket of their delusions and avoid inconvenient questions.
      Don't forget that all it takes for evil to prosper is for good people to do nothing.

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    10. You really are no fun at all, Grumpy.
      I thought you would at least give me a nice comment about how you're going to laugh when karma comes to visit me bearing pineapples :)

      Delete
    11. Anon 3:15

      You mean we didn't go where you wanted? Fucking "A" :D

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    12. Oh, we did, but I was so bored it wasn't fucking funny, thus the extra bait ;)

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    13. Karma isn't some sort of personally focused consequence. It's like we are each a pebble dropped into the pond of life. The ripples continue on long after we have sunk to the bottom and disappeared. This is your karma: the ripples that continue on long after you have ceased to exist.

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    14. "Sunk to the bottom and disappeared?" My body goes to dust and my spirit returns to God who gave it.

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    15. "This is your karma: the ripples that continue on long after you have ceased to exist."

      If your talking about remainder wrought by former contaminated actions and afflictions:
      if I remove the cause, then the suffering and contamination ceases. Liberated.

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    16. I believe in God and reincarnation.

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    17. My body goes to dust and my spirit returns to God who gave it.

      Maybe you are right.

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    18. If your talking about remainder wrought by former contaminated actions and afflictions: if I remove the cause, then the suffering and contamination ceases. Liberated.

      No. You're still looking at it as some sort of process where you receive a kind of direct reflection back of your actions. It's more like your legacy, or the impact of your existence, that is your karma. Whether there is rebirth, or a God to answer to, is a separate question. It is your karma that lives on in this world.

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    19. No. The law of karma is - "the principle of cause and effect." But it does have consequences for the future.

      Do you not believe in enlightenment or nirvana?

      Delete
    20. Reason clears the residue that idealistic fairy tales like karma and justice leave on your perception. Thinking untethered to sentiment inevitably leads to nihilism. Nihilism leads to existential freedom and intellectual clarity. Which is pretty much all the Anonymous Bubble Buster at 10:32 was talking about.

      Anonymous Who Needs Her Blankee at 9:02: No one out there cares what we do to each other, because there is no one out there to care. The universe doesn’t care what intelligent primates on the third planet from our sun, which happens to be in a non-descript solar system, which itself is in one of billions and billions of galaxies, do to each other. Just like we don't care about the dramatic goings on of paramecium. (Unless you're a biologist.) Besides which, the universe can’t care. We are all beyond good and evil; only a few of us know that though. But as they say, knowledge is power.

      Do you not believe in enlightenment or nirvana?

      I don't know about Ellicit, but I sure as hell don't. I do however believe quite firmly in stupidity, one of two of the most common elements in the universe.

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    21. What I am describing is cause and effect. I'm a Buddhist fundamentalist. Theravada Buddhism is taken strictly from the teachings of the Buddha, not concepts tainted with other religions the way Tibetan and Zen Buddhism are. That means some very different interpretations of these concepts. All based on a different concept or role of the notion of self, I suppose.

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    22. D. Birdick

      And you have knowledge and the power, huh? And you are beyond good and evil, too?
      Furthermore, you don't believe in enlightenment? Well, you have truly arrived.

      But frankly, I have no desire to read any of your future posts. You didn't wow me!

      Delete
    23. Cross-posted with Daniel Birdick who said it all far more eloquently than I could have.

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    24. Ellicit

      Now I understand where your coming from.

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    25. Ellicit

      hmmmm. You feel that D. Birdick was eloquent?

      Delete
    26. You didn't wow me!

      Lucky for me then that i wasn't trying to, huh? I was entertaining myself. Happily, I succeeded. You, being "endarkened", were irrelevant.

      My humblest thanks Ellicit. Here's hoping the Buddhism thing is working for you.

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    27. Aren't you a smart ass. Rather tacky, though......

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    28. The doggies keep chasing their tales.

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    29. If Buddha says we should get rid of things, and existentialists say that things are meaningless, then the existentialists end up having more things, just not thinking their existence has meaning.

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    30. When existentialists get together, what do they even do? Point across the table and say "you're irrelevant" "No, you are?"

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    31. Ellicit

      I'm curious, is there a world renown leader in the Theravada Buddhism sect? I have not heard of any as more reverend and feared as the Dalai Lama in Buddhism. Of course, if history as anything to teach us - those leaders that speak the truth are persecuted.

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    32. ^ I have to retract that last remark of those "leaders that speak the truth are persecuted."

      There is one man that is greatly respected in the States and saw little persecution. Billy Graham. He walked his talk and loved by many.

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    33. Hamster wheel. I'm hungry.

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    34. Dumbstress
      At least we're on the fucking wheel !

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    35. Eventually you will get tired, and when you finally take the time to rest, you may realize that you are still heading to the same place that you so vigorously have been trying to reach all that time. But now you can sit back with the understanding that the choice is not yours, as it was not your choice to exist in the first place.

      Delete
    36. The wheel is good excerise.

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    37. Dumb stress 10:10
      If I remember correctly, my vet told me dogs chase their tale because a gland is malfunctioning and sending off an odor.

      My point is: What physical or mental gland is malfunctioning in YOUR own head that would make you so verbally ugly? Or is it the old stand by of your receiving energy from sucking the life from others. Try getting off your own wheel. OK?

      Delete
    38. Thank you for your reply. Guess I got caught on that sucking wheel. Sincere apologies to all.

      Delete
  6. Why is it that if you feel you are more superior than most people, or feel a need to put someone down, it's because people think you have poor self esteem? Why can't you just be someone who thinks highly of him/herself and less of others?

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    Replies
    1. For a covert malignant narcissist, I would say that it would be easy for you. Knock yourself out!

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    2. well if you really feel you have an advantage over other people knocking them down is pointless, wasted effort. kinda like getting all mad at a bunch of ants. it's more likely you see them as rivals for the pedestal.

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    3. My friend, the one i dont speak to anymore..

      she would ask me how things were going, And if they were going really well, she would say "so,,,how is your mother?"


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    4. i know that well! what is that?

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    5. That is someone who knows how to trigger you into the place they want you. With THEM, down in the dumps for company, or l o w e r.

      They want to keep you down so you don't surpass them. It wouldn't be fair.

      Delete
  7. Why does having self confidence and a wise enough understanding of the reality that surrounds us to know that not everyone is equally capable, make me a narcissist? It's not like I am maniacally chuckling at the stupidity of others, I am simply recognizing a truth of life (albeit a harsh one to some).

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    Replies
    1. I like the way you think.
      Don't think you're a narcissist either. S/he is just mad at me and trying to take it out on you.

      Delete
  8. Whoa! This blog looks just like my old one!
    It's on a totally different topic but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Wonderful choice of colors!

    my webpage; michael kors hudson downtown shoulder tote

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  9. I don't know where to go to talk about this. A sociopath on here told me about blowing out, at the end of a relationship where the sociopath( in his opinion) would take the mask off and let totally loose at the person in a huge blowout to either get rid of the person or change the power dynamics.

    I did that with my mother, today. She did one rather small gaslighting thing to me and I burst like a dyke with all the water stored for years rushing out.

    She said I was "unwell". I said I was the only one who WAS well because she set up everyone to play a set part in her crazy web and no one would tell the truth that she was a psychopathic Malignant Narcissist.

    I wouldn't stop. I was getting a sore throat screaming as all the years of stored up/shut down emotions came out.

    I knew when I did it that I was Ok if I never talked to her, again. It was the one time in my life when I said everything and in doing that said goodbye.

    Why do I feel so depressed?

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    Replies
    1. Good for you for finally standing up to the bitch.

      Depression is normal when you honestly think you stand to lose forever people who were important to you. No matter how bad she was, she was still your mother after all.
      I would recommend not talking to her, no matter what she says or does, until you are good and ready. If ever.

      I confronted my malignant narcissist too. Was very tired afterwards, but wouldn't say depressed. Then found myself grinning all the time. I was free.

      She tried to blame me, tried to scream me down, tried to turn family members against me. Then when all else failed, tried to apologize and claim she never meant to hurt me, she was sick and couldn't help it, she'll make it up to me, etc. Stay strong and don't give in to her manipulations if she tries.

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    2. wow, that must have been hard, Monica.

      "I would recommend not talking to her, no matter what she says or does, until you are good and ready. If ever."

      I always forget that I cannot give my mother ammunition. That means that I can never say that I am proud of myself for this or that, and it means that she cannot share my joyful experiences. It is like I do not have a mother. It is depressing


      The last time she put me down behind my back, my friend yelled at her. My mother just shut the fuck up. She's dumb.

      I am so sorry, but this karma people talk about here... with dumb people, it doesnt matter. They are too stupid to see justice for what they did. They dont know they did anything, They blame others. So why would it cross their mind that they got just deserves ? What good is Karma if the person sees themself as innocent?


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    3. they don't need to see the karma for it to work. they blame others for it and just keep burying themselves deeper. there is no good in karma. it just is.

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    4. Is it karma if your mother gets what she deserves? Then what did you do to deserve a mother like that?

      Malignant narcissists don't care how much pain they cause. They like the power, they feel better about themselves when they make your life hell. They are cowards and bullies, you saw that yourself. She's not necessarily dumb, but she is toxic.

      She fucked up your life up. Ruined your self esteem. Women like her don't change. You always have the choice of continuing to go on as you were, but if you want her to pay, don't rely on karma to get her. Do your own work.

      As for your question of what's the point if they see themselves as innocent: well, does it really matter how she sees it? If she got what she deserved, wouldn't you feel better?

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    5. Good for you, Monica. Be nice to yourself while you're going through this aftermath depression.

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    6. oh, instead of karma you mean cause and effect, Zoe. This i understand. That is the only thing my dumbass family will give you. TBH, this is what saved me.

      Monica someone asked you how you can have so much hate in your heart. IMO, when you are in healing mode, such as I am , it is best to put the ones who brush by the raw wound into a sectioned off area, called "don't come any closer"

      You said, yourself, that there will be people in your life who will be angry you put them there. You do not hate them all. You just think you do because you do not know where else to put them. So you allow yourself to say "hate" in your mind also. Well that is splitting and monkey perspective taking over. Dont let anyone here put you in black and white and call you monumental hater.

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    7. Oh, i had not read the above on cause and effect yet, Pardons.

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    8. Anon 3:29 - Amen!

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  10. Thanks Anon3:29! xx

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    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Monica.
      Give it a little time. Try to do something relaxing for yourself. It does get better.

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    2. Thank you Ellicit and Anon. I even feel better in the morning. Love you!

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    3. Glad you're feeling better.
      I'm here if you want to talk about what's going on. As I said, I've been where you are.

      Might as well tell you I'm actually L.A. (also Anon Bubble Buster) to make it easier.

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    4. Thank you L.A. That does make it easier xx

      Delete
  11. b a r r r r r r r i n g b a a a a a c k d a b l a c k : - ((((

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    1. I see a white screen and I want to paint it black. No colors anymore, I want them to turn black :)

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    2. I love the new colors!

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    3. oh hey is it me or is it not so white? all migrainey today

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