Many potential psychopaths might not even realize they have the condition, nor has there traditionally been any easy way for others to recognize them.
* * *
The psychopath does not merely repress feelings of anxiety and guilt or fail to experience them appropriately; instead, he or she lacks a fundamental understanding of what these things are.
* * *
Arriving at a disaster scene, a psychopath would most likely gather to watch with the rest of the crowd. He might even lend assistance if he perceived no threat to his own safety. But he would feel none of the panic, shock, or horror of the other onlookers—his interest would fall more on the reactions of the victims and of the crowd.
* * *
Despite this emotional deficiency, most psychopaths learn to mimic the appearance of normal emotion well enough to fit into ordinary society, not unlike the way that the hearing impaired or illiterate learn to use other cues to compensate for their disabilities. As Hare describes it, psychopaths “know the words but not the music.” One might imagine that such a false and superficial front would be easily penetrated, but such is rarely the case, probably because of the assumption we all tend to make that others think and feel essentially the same way as ourselves. Differences in culture, gender, personality, and social status all create empathy gaps that can seem almost unfathomable, but none of these is as fundamental a divide as the one that exists between an individual with a conscience and one without. The psychopath’s psychology is so profoundly alien to most people that we are unable to comprehend their motives, or recognize one when we see one. Naturally, the industrious psychopath will find this to his advantage.
Some psychologists go so far as to label the psychopath “a different kind of human” altogether. Psychopathy has an environmental component like nearly all aspects of personal psychology, but its source is rooted firmly in biology. This has caused some researchers to suspect that the condition isn’t a “disorder” at all, but an adaptive trait. In a civilization made up primarily of law-abiding citizenry, the theory goes, an evolutionary niche opens up for a minority who would exploit the trusting masses.
This hypothesis is supported by the apparent success many psychopaths find within society. The majority of these individuals are not violent criminals; indeed, those that turn to crime are generally considered “unsuccessful psychopaths” due to their failure to blend into society. Those who do succeed can do so spectacularly. For instance, while it may sound like a cynical joke, it’s a fact that psychopaths have a clear advantage in fields such as law, business, and politics. They have higher IQs on average than the general population. They take risks and aren’t fazed by failures. They know how to charm and manipulate. They’re ruthless. It could even be argued that the criteria used by corporations to find effective managers actually select specifically for psychopathic traits: characteristics such as charisma, self-centeredness, confidence, and dominance are highly correlated with the psychopathic personality, yet also highly sought after in potential leaders.
* * *
A lack of empathy does not necessarily imply a desire to do harm—that comes from sadism and tendencies toward violence, traits which have only a small correlation with psychopathy. When all three come together in one individual, of course, the result is catastrophic. Ted Bundy and Paul Bernardo are extreme examples of such a combination.
* * *
The reasons we look up to these conscience impaired people are unclear. Most likely it has something to do with the confidence they exude, the ease they seem to feel in any situation—a trait that comes easily in someone essentially incapable of fear or anxiety. Maybe we’re easily suckered in by their natural glibness and charm. Or maybe on some level we envy the freedom they have, with no burden of conscience or emotion.
Monday, March 25, 2013
The Unburdened Mind
This is one of the most balanced, accurate depictions of sociopathy/psychopathy I have seen written by a non sociopath, and the comments are hilarious. Highlights from the article:
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I think people are often attracted to sociopaths because of the power dynamics. I think you can spot them at times as well I suppose if you are sensitive enough and move lightly or I imagine as they may think, and not sure if really true, if you are in their flow. I believe it is really a dual flow, and believing it one flow may be an error. They have a very light yet penetrating gaze.
ReplyDeleteThis is a well written synopsis.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think sociopaths get more credit than they deserve.
Mainly meaning that although they prosper in a FEW areas, in most areas they fail..Or at least the ones that actually count and are meaningful..
Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteI'd like to hear from you which areas you consider to be the ones "that count and are meaningful." What makes those areas so much more important, or is it because you said so? Even amongst my friends, there are different values placed on different areas. Some hold their convictions to highest regard, others family, friends, or significant others. What do you believe makes a person successful, Anonymous?
One might imagine that such a false and superficial front would be easily penetrated, but such is rarely the case, probably because of the assumption we all tend to make that others think and feel essentially the same way as ourselves.
ReplyDeleteThis I think is the reason sociopaths so easily are able to fit in society and be able to fool so many. Most have no point of reference for such thinking or behavior.
Informative article but to me as are most articles about sociopaths/psychopaths it delves into the most shocking, serial killers etc. As the article says those who are imprisoned are the psychopathic failures. Even the book, The Sociopath Next Door gave instances that IMHO were included for shock value.
I'd like to read an article re sociopaths that tells stories of those who fit in society in that they have managed to fool most of the people so to speak. Those are the ones that do the most damage over the long haul. I guess these stories wouldn't have enough shock value for most to find worth their time. Eh.
agree with last paragraph. the damage they cause has yet to be added up. a person who always gets rewarded for no values because they can, destroys the goodness and righteousness of those who value love and truth. Imagine what these people do to their children and spouses. Actually, it's very shocking. because they get away with it and are supported by a huge percentage of the population who are naive in understanding this type of creature.
Delete"it’s a fact that psychopaths have a clear advantage in fields such as law, business, and politics"
ReplyDeleteI would think that many medical doctors fit into this category as well.
Interesting post.
The 'psychopath' of the article is not much more sophisticated than a film era mustache-twirling villain.
ReplyDeleteDysphoria is known to be a symptom of psychopathology -- the substance abuse, lying and risky/violent behavior is not just a charming eccentricity . . . it's a means of stimulating your way out of tedium and frustration.
is it possible that one's ability to 'spot' a sociopath is inversely proportional to one's vulnerability to their manipulations?
ReplyDeleteand i for one, don't look up to sociopaths. i (obviously) have a fascination with them, but as a scientist my curiosity is always strongest for those things which i do not understand. add to that the whole serial killer 'aura' (a tantalizing darkness for people who live in a culture that often dismisses the darkness), and it seems like a natural fit for fascination. and i certainly don't envy them.
-Laine
Harry Lime
ReplyDeleteDysphoria is known to be a symptom of psychopathology
Do tell this is news to me I do recall ever reading that this is a symptom?
Harry Lime:
ReplyDelete...that is I DON'T recall ever reading that this is a symptom, sorry
people are attracted to confidence. that is the start of the attraction, then you get to know the person and become what they are looking for then you have them. a sociopath gives a false sense of security which is why people will always be attracted to them.
ReplyDeleteI believe I can spot Ss when they are scanning. They have a certain gaze that is unmistakable. It's like this non-judgemental ray gun that is reading you and your psycho-physical expression. I remember the first time I saw it I thought it was scary. Now, after seeing it again, I just see it as for what it is and that is a person like this attempting a read and return a non judgemental glance.
ReplyDeletewhat do you mean by 'psycho-physical expression', aspie?
ReplyDeleteI mean they see the way your mind and body interact, Anonymous.
ReplyDeleteI think I read somewhere online that in Asian cultures there is much less sociopathy (though some argue this is false) but if it were true, one reason could be that people are more integrated (mind/body) in these cultures (or were). There is less of a divide between mind and body. One could theorize, if many are in the moment, then many are seeing things as they happen, they are seeing reality, and this may not lend itself well to manipulation, or at least not as well as a divided mind. So perhaps people like S learn to adapt or are sussed out. I could be wrong though. If you read of the alaskan tribes, they knew of these traits and had a brutal solution for it, but the point is, they could identify these people, though perhaps not always.
ReplyDeleteaspie
ReplyDeleteI know a female Asian sociopath. She is quite good at reading body language and 'hiding' until you get to know her well. I
may be incorrect but IMO the reason they aren't as evident is that their mindset as far as society is different than western cultures. That they are learn early on what is expected and what is not expected. The sociopaths in those societies learn to adapt to their culture to fit in not that their behavior changes they just learn the boundaries. Any thoughts on this anyone?
I am sorry to say that through my work in higher education I have known three Asian women sociopaths. Two are Korean. One was very hard to spot until I became her target. One was a student who went after a well-loved and respected female adjunct professor...and eventually another student. She was very easy for me to spot. There seems to be an internal blueprint for their behavior. Once you've seen it and you know the traits (read Martha Stout's excellent book) you can easily spot them too. Look for the person constantly grabbing for pity and you most likely have an S on your hands.
DeleteYeah it seems that "S", if it is a unique type of person, which it seems to be, are especially talented in this regard... learning the boundaries is kind of what I meant by learn to adapt. They don't stop being what they are, but they do possibly learn the boundaries, and the culture, one that is rooted in balance and being in harmony with nature, is especially apt to teach them this, possibly.
ReplyDeleteaspie
ReplyDeleteah yes 'adapting', understanding the boundaries and how to operate within them. The person I know operates within those boundaries to a certain degree but not totally. Some of her behavior is excused by her and others as some asian trait or belief system which is so much BS. It's a ploy of course.
If in fact up to 25% of the population are sociopaths, then it is likely that there are many Asian sociopaths as well. If sociopathy is genetic then it is possible that the number would be smaller. If you have read any traditional Chinese or other Asian literature, seems that there are many sociopaths hidden there. Have you seen the film, Raise the Red Lantern? If you haven't do watch it very good film and there are more than one sociopath depicted.
You may find this interesting, ere is a link re women's roles in Japanese society:
http://www.ac.wwu.edu/~culture/Nippoda1.htm
i think any tightly knit social community would spot sociopaths much more easily (or they would have to be better at hiding). our mobile, loosely knit culture is a virtual playground for Ss. mistakes, or even successes, can disappear by simply moving on to a new group, something that raises no suspicions nowdays. i've read somewhere that one theory of lesser amounts of sociopathic *behavior* in Asian cultures may be they are still more traditional. Ss would quickly be exiled from the group or learn how to hide more effectively.
ReplyDelete-Laine
If in fact up to 25% of the population are sociopaths, then it is likely that there are many Asian sociopaths as well.
ReplyDeleteLets not forget that child abuse is widely accepted in many Asian cultures, as opposed to Western societies. If sociopathy has a high occurrence with abuse, then there are possibly more sociopaths/psychopaths among Asian societies than in the West. I suppose I have my rigid cultural norms to thank for knowing my boundaries then :)
Ss would quickly be exiled from the group or learn how to hide more effectively.
ReplyDeleteI beg to differ. A traditional Asian family stresses the supression of emotionality. Emotions are typically seen as a sign of weakness in East Asian cultures.
I think the figure is 1 in 25 (debatable) which would put it at 4% not 25%. Boy if it was 25%...holy crap! Now that would be a best seller.
ReplyDeleteI think western values encourage it or allow it to proliferate. Be competitive, be better than the other, be all you can be and drop big bombs, get money, buy goods, the individual is supreme, etc. But I guess this will encourage everything else there is, whatever they are.
ReplyDeleteAsians I think stress non dramatics, community, non attachment, discipline, balance, lightness, poise, spirituality. I think this system is more in line with S and feeds it what it needs so it "acts up" less and is seen as less there or less expressive. Maybe I'm wrong.
I wonder if there are other types of beings, if we consider S a type of being.
@ 12:07 Anonymous..."Some of her behavior is excused by her and others as some asian trait or belief system which is so much BS. It's a ploy of course"
ReplyDeleteLike what for example?
aspie
ReplyDeleteHmm a couple of examples, she has said that vacuuming makes people sterile so she couldn't do it. I was told it was some strange Asian belief, of course not it was a ploy so she wouldn't have to work. Also she told someone that 'sex makes you lazy' and it was attributed to some Asian belief, of course another BS lie. She didn't want to have sex with this person any longer but didn't want to tell him so she could continue to use him, it was totally idiotic.
aspie..
ReplyDeleteOoPs on the % !! You're correct.
The post says: "A lack of empathy does not necessarily imply a desire to do harm—that comes from sadism and tendencies toward violence, traits which have only a small correlation with psychopathy."
ReplyDeleteI recently realized that a close friend of mine is such a person. We've been friends for oh, 10 years now. I like him because he's charming, fun, adventurous, impetuous, etc.
I've always sensed he was ... shallow... but in the past year he kinda let the mask slip, maybe a little too much for my comfort! Also, I've known for a long time that he was a womanizer, but I saw a particular break-up in graphic detail this past year and I felt REALLY bad for the girl. I had gotten to know her and she's a very, very sweet and rather naive person -- it was just painful to see her heart be broken when he got bored, cheated, and moved on without a qualm. (He had told her he loved her, they'd be together forever, etc.- whatever she wanted to hear at that moment.)
I don't think he quite knows he is a sociopath... although he does make comments that show he's aware he thinks differently. ("I don't give a damn about anyone," for instance. That's a comment that I took for sarcasm for a very long time!)
I made the "sociopath" connection because I was researching something about various psychological conditions, came across the definition of sociopath and instantly thought of him. He's quite literally a textbook case. He's charming and entertaining, also feels the lack of remorse or guilt, lack of empathy, shallow emotions --is manipulative, impulsive, pathological liar, has a need for excitement, lacks responsibility, is unable to tolerate routine but is great to have on hand when you're traveling through some dangerous situation/strange territory -- he actually thrives in those situations. The more I read, the more it sounds like him. There is literally not a single way in which he deviates from being a classic sociopath. Some of the incidents and comments people have made on this blog are exact things he's done or said.
I just wonder a bit at myself for still wanting to be friends with him. I guess I just feel that well, he was born different. I certainly wouldn't set him up with any girls, nor will I help him figure out people's emotional make-up (I kinda figured out that he does this sometimes... he'll say he wants the female perspective on something, but really it's the empath perspective that he wants.)
As long as I am aware regarding the above, so I'm not actively aiding him in his womanizing, it seems to me it's o.k. to be friends with the guy.
Yet part of me wonders if it is immoral to be friends with someone so amoral? I know for a fact he leaves a trail of emotional destruction in his wake.
And then I think, how absurd of me to judge another person's morals.
What do blog readers out there think?
Ishtar
ReplyDeleteI beg to differ. A traditional Asian family stresses the supression of emotionality. Emotions are typically seen as a sign of weakness in East Asian cultures
You're correct, duty before emotion. It is a constant depicted in esp Japanese film, the internal conflict between duty to family and the wants of the individual. Examples in the films of Yasujiro Ozu. His films are typically about everyday people & their relationships and is often critical of the changing Japanese society. He is considered one of Japan's greatest filmmakers. Tokyo Story is an excellent example.
http://www.japan-zone.com/modern/ozu_yasujiro.shtml
I think the eastern way is not so much about elimination of emotions but control of them so they don't cloud rational thought. The fantasy Chinese film, crouching tiger hidden dragon, makes the point that completely keeping your feelings suppressed or not acknowledging them can lead to utter disaster. They are a part of most peoples make up, and need to be honored. They are probably the most important part of most peoples make up. I think they are more after a balance.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about moral or immoral but I've had some S friends, and they never really did wrong by me, but if I witnessed it with others, especially anyone I liked, and especially if they were a good person, I think it would affect my relationship with them.
@aspie and ishtar - i didn't mean to imply that their lack of emotional affect would lead to conflict. in fact i agree that the tradition of emotional control would make it easier to 'hide' (more on that in a minute). rather, in closely knit communities more deeply bound by tradition it would be much more difficult for someone to manipulate, lie, etc. even amongst the lower primates (damn, i had to bring animals into this again!), failure to follow the group 'rules' can quite quickly lead to expulsion from the group.
ReplyDeleteabout traditional cultures...could stricter guidelines for acceptable behavior also make it easier to 'hide' (is there a better word that i could use here?)? it seems like a tradition of no emotional affect plus very strict behavioral guidelines could lead to even the sociopath him or herself not realizing there's something different.
-Laine
as per being friends with a sociopath...i think i'd take the 'guy' route of friendship - compartmentalize. if i like one person because our kids get along really well, it doesn't mean i like her enough to spend a weekend in vegas with her. just be sure you have good boundaries for the relationship and don't participate in anything you find morally icky (and that is a technical term ;)).
ReplyDelete-Laine
Re: being friends with a sociopath-
ReplyDeleteThanks Laine for your response --
Your last sentence pretty much sums up what I was thinking about that.
-Anita
rather, in closely knit communities more deeply bound by tradition it would be much more difficult for someone to manipulate, lie, etc. even amongst the lower primates (damn, i had to bring animals into this again!), failure to follow the group 'rules' can quite quickly lead to expulsion from the group.
ReplyDeleteGenerally, I'd say this is true, but it also depends on what the "rules" of that society are to begin with. Manipulation can also include ingratiation in order to achieve higher ranks within a community, and therefore allow one to create one's own rules. This is very often the case in Asian families as they are extremely hierarchical. If one were to act according to the existing rules for a long enough period, then they could potentially obtain the power of a deceased family head. This is actually not so dissimilar to the dynamics of mafia "families."
There are also many different types of tradition in Asia based on certain religious/philosophical doctrines, so the "rules" vary from family to family. However, one adjoining idea is that of the value of rational thought over emotions.
about traditional cultures...could stricter guidelines for acceptable behavior also make it easier to 'hide' (is there a better word that i could use here?)? it seems like a tradition of no emotional affect plus very strict behavioral guidelines could lead to even the sociopath him or herself not realizing there's something different.
It was in fact the case for me until I was introduced to Western psychology and realized half of my family were sociopaths/psychopaths (not simply due to tradition, but to other questionable behaviours), including myself. My Western "friends" [or even Asians who were not raised traditionally] have often complained of my lack of emotion and affectability, but merely pass it off as my traditional upbringing, similar to Anonymous's lovely Japanese friend :)
i have been under a lot of "control" growing up in my family. but that has only caused me to pull away from them. one side of the family i don't speak to all and the other very little. i surround myself with others that i consider my "family." but then again, in our culture we are not taught to "respect" like in Asian cultures. perhaps that has to do with it.
ReplyDelete@ishtar - ah, yes, you are right about it depending on the 'rules'. your reference to mafia is enlightening (since i can't claim to know more than general, western, knowlegde of asian cultures). caught a scene from the sopranos yesterday and was thinking about how sociopathy would be a huge advantage in gang/mafia life. true, or am i off base again? i admit it's quite difficult to try viewing the world through an S's eyes. but i suppose as an empath it's sort of my 'thing'!
ReplyDelete@sociogirl - i grew up in a more traditional 'southern' family than my peers did, and my parents were very controlling of me. had to leave the state and lose my mind before i could seperate. i have a lovely relationship with my parents now, but it is limited and still carried out over several state lines.
-Laine
As Hare describes it, psychopaths “know the words but not the music.”
ReplyDeleteI know the words, AND the music, AND I'm pretty good at conducting the piece, too. However, I think the tune is awful and I refuse to sing along to it.
If we're using analogies, Hare.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI am an empath which i love sometimes, but I definitely envy the sociopaths ability to move through the world unaffected by the restrictions empathy can impose.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could turn it on and off. Itd be so useful - is that a sociopathic thing to think? I am actually trying to teach myself to turn it off, but not to the extent that it disappears forever.. I love the rush of feeling love too much to let it go completely.
I seem to attract sociopaths and aspies... what is with that? Anyone have any advice?
ReplyDeleteThe best way to describe myself is highly rational and empathic mixed together... I have empathy for others, but there is a lot of emotional stuff I am too rational to understand or be bothered with...
Think I want to get tested by a psychiatrist... sometimes I think Im a sociopath, but the empathy thing is strong though too - but not in the same way other normal empaths have it (???)
@Anna
ReplyDeleteI noticed she has an earlier date but I have an opinion about why certain women( or ir could be men) attract sociopaths, over and over. I think these people were never mirrored and cannot see their own selves. This leaves them in a continual state of wanting and needing. What they need is their own self reflection like Echo in the myth. However, they really have little way to find it. The sociopath shows up and mirrors them. It is glorious beyond glorious because they have themselves, for the first time, maybe. I think that is why the obsession for the sociopath gets so bad and is so painful. It is the loss of the self, again. That is my opinion. What do you think?
Could be.........but I bet these victims had at least one parent that was narcissistic/sociopathic - or a caregiver. We like the familiar and of course to work thru the damage.
DeleteMonica 5:14
Delete"I think that is why the obsession for the sociopath gets so bad and is so painful."
I think the push and pull routine that the s/p uses is very successful in creating the pain. imo
If that really is the case... then I truly pity the Sociopath...
DeleteThe Sociopath becomes a mere spectator, in the little theatrical where the Narcissist who is attracted, falls in love and eventually becomes obsessed with their own mirrored reflection.
Because who else, but a Narcissist, could become so obsessed with their own reflection, in this performance where their own behaviour is being mirrored?
The narcissist falls in love? They are not capable of this emotion.
Deleteagree that people who fall for sociopaths probably had a parent or some conditioning of inappropriate boundaries (narcissist) that makes them a target. sociopaths do not have appropriate boundaries, so taking from you, stepping on you, etc., is no problem.
DeleteForgive my simplistic and superficial opinions in this post:
ReplyDeleteHere is a female Asian sociopath for you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wendi_Deng_Murdoch
Females have traditionally been shamed by their parents (if not aborted) in Asia that the chances are a larger percentage of Asian females are sociopaths compared to the West. And, given that the boys are looked up to so much they will either be high performers (tall guys) or NPDs (short guys). What a world.
Dunno, but most asian interactions, mimics and gestures seem to be full of guilt all the time, at least to me.
DeleteHello sw :
ReplyDeleteI would like to hear a good example of this:
"I know the words, AND the music, AND I'm pretty good at conducting the piece, too. However, I think the tune is awful and I refuse to sing along to it. "
you are at a meeting and you see someone inch up to you to get something, some reciprocal thing from you , and you say to yourself you see what they are after. They, indeed, say we "people should stick together ." They also want a friendship . This is quite obvious. But they are enthusiastic abt helping you.
and you say to yourself you do not want to be in this kind of arrangement because it will require you to do work and ALSO socialize with this person who is not your cup of tea. Because it is a requirement now.
You feign interest. Then they come up with lots of goods and free services and you think to yourself wow that is my gain and you see you SHOULd reciprocate because you will get more free stuff from them..
so you do. ANd you help them because it is not a big deal. THese things you are good at and they require very little effort, ie: no skin off your back.
.
There is a luna path in the forum and someone said that people will see that you are a in exchange-for-stuff kind of person. Personally, i used to think this was too much of a idk, burden on me because ...well, idk....probably because of the friendship thing.
SO I Decide to go along with it, because i see it is not so bad to give out my friendship, even though they are annoying. ANd I keep enough distance (lie) so i can be free.
Eventually, I feel in the end that this is more trouble than it was worth, because they are slightly pushy abt being your friend.
SO you walk away in a very, very nice way, just sayig how BUSY you are , or something reasonable like: I have been going through a rough time, and depressed
THey do not know that you have ..idk ANd you do not feel guilty because they are the ones who initiated so much and expected more.
You saw it the whole time and "took advantage" of their good will, all the time knowing they were after a friendship.
Ok. Question:
Have i just wiped my oily hands on them and used them like a paper napkin?????
Me, i do not identify as a sociopath.
It depends. But, in general, if they were working so hard to be with you they were getting enough from the time you spared for them. There is a good chance they had some hidden agenda, and are probably thrown off that you did not fall for it.
DeleteTrue friendships happen when there is no effort required in giving from both sides. I'd think given that you are ready to get away, you shouldn't have even spent a moment of your time with these less-than-desirable friends. I hope whatever you thought you gained was worth your time.
I certainly did gain. She is not a less-than-desirable.
Delete"There is a good chance they had some hidden agenda, and are probably thrown off that you did not fall for it. " Maybe. She is a harmless pest. I do not want to treat her like one, though. I do not enjoy treating anyone like a pest.
I am pretty sure i put up good boundaries. One of my friends said i should start giving her a finders fee. I kinda sorta offered and she said no. She is testing me to see if i want to be friends. She is sooooooo nice.
Does this scenario happen to a lot of borderlines??
How could I have come to be this age and not touched hate ? I mean hate in it's maggot infested, blood pustule, kill you until you die and then some hate. It was was supposed to be nice or I thought I would explode like food that is not to be heated beyond a certain temperature or it triggers nuclear war, or some unforeseen shit.
ReplyDeleteI believed some manner of lies to see myself so vanilla. If it could have worked, it would have been nice, but when it doesn't work, YOU are the carnage you are trying to walk over or walk around like those tip toeing through through mine fields.
"Most likely it has something to do with the confidence they exude, the ease they seem to feel in any situation—a trait that comes easily in someone essentially incapable of fear or anxiety."
ReplyDeleteThe psychopath I know suffers from terrible anxiety from time to time. Not that it shows, but if you're close to him you get to see it.
Given that psychopaths are supposed to be incapable of love, why do they find it so difficult to let relationships go - i.e, when it's the other person's decision - is it a control thing? What do they achieve by trying to force continued contact? Appreciate any insights.
ReplyDeleteIt is either a control thing or like how they would react to loss of any asset when they are not ready to depart or dump. So, the best way to let a psychopath let you go is to reduce your value over time or make your services cost too much or play boring and depressed all the time. These strategies would work on some empaths, too, who wants to be around a high cost low return asset?
Deletether's only 2 problems in the world: how to make money and how to spend it
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I know exactly what it is like to envy people who have real feelings.I've always had to manufacture emotions and reactions for the purpose of seeming to understand the gravity or importance of what was being said or done.I've always wanted to learn how to feel anything.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what it is like to envy people who have real feelings.I've always had to manufacture emotions and reactions for the purpose of seeming to understand the gravity or importance of what was being said or done.I've always wanted to learn how to feel anything.
ReplyDelete