Sunday, April 28, 2013
Song: Handlebars
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars
Look at me, look at me
hands in the air like it's good to be
ALIVE
and I'm a famous rapper
even when the paths're all crookedy
I can show you how to do-si-do
I can show you how to scratch a record
I can take apart the remote control
And I can almost put it back together
I can tie a knot in a cherry stem
I can tell you about Leif Ericson
I know all the words to "De Colores"
And "I'm Proud to be an American"
Me and my friend saw a platypus
Me and my friend made a comic book
And guess how long it took
I can do anything that I want cuz, look:
I can keep rhythm with no metronome
No metronome
No metronome
I can see your face on the telephone
On the telephone
On the telephone
Look at me
Look at me
Just called to say that it's good to be
ALIVE
In such a small world
All curled up with a book to read
I can make money open up a thrift store
I can make a living off a magazine
I can design an engine sixty four
Miles to a gallon of gasoline
I can make new antibiotics
I can make computers survive aquatic conditions
I know how to run a business
And I can make you wanna buy a product
Movers shakers and producers
Me and my friends understand the future
I see the strings that control the systems
I can do anything with no assistance
I can lead a nation with a microphone
With a microphone
With a microphone
I can split the atoms of a molecule
Of a molecule
Of a molecule
Look at me
Look at me
Driving and I won't stop
And it feels so good to be
Alive and on top
My reach is global
My tower secure
My cause is noble
My power is pure
I can hand out a million vaccinations
Or let'em all die in exasperation
Have'em all healed of their lacerations
Have'em all killed by assassination
I can make anybody go to prison
Just because I don't like'em and
I can do anything with no permission
I have it all under my command
I can guide a missile by satellite
By satellite
By satellite
and I can hit a target through a telescope
Through a telescope
Through a telescope
and I can end the planet in a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
In a holocaust
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handle bars
No handlebars
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars
No handlebars
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This here shall now be the first comment
ReplyDeletefirst comment
first comment
this calls for milk and cookies
Deleteor beer and bitches?
Deletehttp://beerandbitches.tumblr.com/
DeleteHope you don't lose control and end up flattening the lovely flowers you have spent so much time growing and tending to here, from mere little seeds. My favorites are the tulips.
ReplyDeleteWould be such a shame for you to destroy your own garden.
A crying shame...
Deletewhat's shame?
Deletelittle brother of guild
Deletea dirty movie
Deletea pretty touching dirty movie
DeleteWould someone please give those Sociopaths a pat on the back. They've been asking, begging for it for so long.
ReplyDeleteThere is just no pleasing. They'll have to do better than this.
But it's old now, they'll continue boring everyone to death.
<wagging my tail
DeleteHave you ever thought about publishing an e-book
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I wanted to tell you guys a story. I know some people laugh at my talking to God, but others don't. My single hardest struggle is overcoming a mal narc mother.
ReplyDeleteI have been really asking God to lead me and show me the way out. I have emotional defense built up that I needed to survive but now they are killing me.
Ever since I told her never to call me again and blocked access to her, I have been healing. I am seeing what happened to me and what she did( and I accepted as truth)such as that I was bad and worthless because my feelings were not perfect.
Here is the story I wanted to share. My closest friend is a Christian, too. He knows about my mother because I talk about it all the time, just like I do on here ~
I was telling him something and all of a sudden he brought up Billy from 'One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest" He said that my mother was like Billy's mother and never wanted me to have anger because my anger was a big part of my personal power, as is the case with anyone.
I saw it. I saw that she abuses me and when I get angry, she rejects me. She says, 'I am not going to take your anger" and she rejects me.
That is how I got so beaten down. I knew that when he said it, it was a message from God for the next step in my healing.
What do you think?
Honestly, what do you want from your mother? She is incapable of loving you in the way that you want. Malignant Narcissists are incapable of loving others. Or do you want her to "pay" for what she did to you or feel remorse?
DeleteFrankly, I just don't understand why you have not accepted the facts of your relationship.
Bravo. Accept, forgive and leave behind. Otherwise it all sounds like an excuse to avoid responsibility in your own life. You are a grown up, move on and choose the people to have in your life. If you choose to still deal with a mal narc is apt to you, it is your choice.
DeleteI can't accept it because sometimes it seems like she changes. She is a therapist, as you may know if you have read my posts, so she does seem to change from working with people, over time. She seems like she gets insight into herself and we will get along well. Then, she pulls the gaslighting and blames things on me.
DeleteHas she ever said anything insightful and negative about her parenting during "your getting along time?" Taking responsibility.
DeleteYES she really has owned how she has been to a very large extent and it has been a true owning of it.
DeleteConsider the ball is in your court at all times but the pull and push routine she displays is damaging to your mental health. I would not excuse that behavior in any relationship.
DeleteSo, is it a push/pull routine OR a true inching her way to healing? That would be my question?
DeleteThat's just it though, isn't it? She only seems to change for as long as it takes to get you back on her side. The fact that she's a therapist only means that she would know exactly which strings to pull.
DeleteIt's not genuine insight and willingness to change. It's just manipulation. Don't keep falling for it.
I know that no matter what she's done to you, how much anger you have towards her, you still keep hoping and praying that she will finally change. She will not. Ever. She will only pretend to in order to get what she wants.
With the malignant narcissists I grew up with, anger was something that was not allowed to be expressed by anyone but them. Being the pathetic bullies they are, they can't handle having someone stand up to them and tell them they are wrong and/or will not get their way. Guilt and shame are their favorite weapons to make you fall back in line. You need to see through this and be strong enough to resist.
You are right, it's a way for them to take away your power.
You have every right to feel angry and express it (in healthy ways). You bottling it up because she seems like she has changed and you don't want to upset her/ ruin your newly found understanding/ hinder her progress/ whatever the hell else, will only lead to you becoming more of the ticking time bomb you were. The one who hates herself, passive- aggressively attacks anyone with a differing opinion and talks about claw hammers.
In the past couple of months or so, I have seen you drag yourself a little out of that pit, find the strength to finally confront your biggest demons and start getting better. I'm proud of you for that. Don't keep making the same mistake you made for so many years and let her drag you back down again.
There is nothing better to someone like her than to watch you suffer under her thumb. It's sweet music to her ears, no matter how much she tries to deny it.
Thank you. Is that you, L.A? I was very on the fence today and your post made me stand strong. Love you and appreciate you!
DeleteI agree with Anon. She will not change. You know her behaviour patterns by know. If you don't get emotionally detached from her she will destroy you, it is what she wants, anyways. Detach and let go.
DeleteYes Monica, that was me.
DeleteI'm very happy you are standing strong. Proud of you.
Also, thank you, Anon 213. "Detach and let go" beautifully put. It's the only thing that allowed me to rid myself of the cancer that was my relationship with the malignant narcissists I grew up with.
You are so encouraging to everyone, L.A!
DeleteYeah, this sounds good! Anger gives you the energy to gain distance, to stand up for your own sake. In my family my anger was belittled and I felt no right to get angry anyway because my mother was already stressed out. I totally agree, it is healing to get access to this kind of feeling. You will feel ashamed, but it's alright, it is only the fear of rejection. But the more you act according to your feelings of anger, the more you express it the more you will experience that peolpe respect you and your cause. Aggression is not a crime, it comes from the Latin word aggredi=to approach. It means facing people instead of hiding. Through your anger you grow up to be the person you are supposed to be. Be proud of yourself^*^
ReplyDeleteAnger destroys the one who feels it. Not a good option. Let go the past and your anger with it. If you dont and you stay stack on that, dont blame your mum, once you got to be an adult it was in your hands to get rid of all that.
DeleteAnger does not neccessarily imply to bear a grudge. Anger can help you to get rid of the past and to gain autonomy. If people do me wrong and I get angry it is healthy to answer their actions accordingly.
DeleteA wise psychiatrist once told me "You have to get angry, before you can forgive." I always remember this when I get angry with someone who has dissed me and I feel guilty.
DeleteVery wise Anon 11:32
DeleteThank you for that! <3
To get angry before letting go is healthy, to get angry and be forgiving in cercles is sick. Angriness yes, but not, chronique blinking anger. That's again part of the victim attachment ritual.
DeleteThanks Anon
ReplyDeleteYou really get it. Blessings, Friend!
Your welcome. Thank you for reminding me of my own cause. And thank you for the blessings. All the best to you, too!
ReplyDeleteAs long as anger isn't misdirected it's healthy
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Someone who I fell in love with, told me in regards to our relationship, "when things seem too good to be true, they are."
ReplyDeleteIt was almost as if he had pity towards me and was warning me saying- run and never look back. I didn't listen to him and love him to this day. He still hurts me to this day.
Unfortunately, I have a lot of socio/type friends. Why? It is what I grew up with.
Chloe Dancer
Hurts you how exactly?
DeleteWhat part of the tale did you not understand???
DeleteHe won't/doesn't love me and I still love him. Not only makes me feel unlovable, makes me feel dense.
Know what it's like to feel dense??
Know what it's like to want someone to love you?? Know what it's like to love and get none back?
No, you don't. And that makes you sort of socially dumb, doesn't it?
Chloe Dancer
I know what it's like to let go of someone who doesn't love me, makes me feel unlovable. Who does nothing but hurt me.
DeleteTo move on with my life and not bitch about it on a blog where nobody gives a flying fuck. Then act like an arrogant bitch to someone who took enough of an interest to talk to me.
I know what it's like to respect myself.
That makes you a weak, pathetic whinger. Doesn't it?