The 80/20 rule, or the Pareto principle, states that 80% of the output comes from 20% of the input. In business parlance, it means things like 80% of your customers are coming from 20% of your efforts. For purposes of this blog, it means that 80% of the blog material comes from 20% of my life.The blog is less a accurate reflection and more of an inverse of my life. In real life i act like a normal person, speak about normal things, while having an unspoken, inner dialogue. On the blog I give voice to the inner dialogue, but leave out all the normalcy: hobbies, work, family, friends, birthdays, holidays, funeral, vacations, personal hygiene regimens, and all the banality of everyday life that has little to nothing to do with my unique worldview.
The really interesting thing about this has been interacting and "meeting" people only via the blog. In real life, people see me act normally and try to incorporate any idiosyncrasies they perceive into their idea of normal me. People that only know me on the blog treat me entirely differently. Sometimes they give me an odd deference. Sometimes they are afraid. Sometimes they are rude and judgmental. It's not just that people are making random assumptions about me, that happens in real life all the time. These assumptions are different, though, perhaps because people aren't giving me the benefit of the doubt, or perhaps because they only see 20% of me. Neither set of assumptions seem better or more accurate than the other, but I still prefer one set over the other. In any case, these interactions make me question whether I really want to be "out" with the general populace. I know that has sort of been my (naive) goal, but given my fear of angry mobs, I think I have since thought better of it.
Interesting.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you're BSing us, M.E., but this seems to be the most straightforward personal post you've made on this blog.
It's interesting to see you post your ideas about the blog its self instead of more blog content. Of course, as they say, all things in moderation.
I don't know, ME could be, but we'd never know. Though, it is easier to note the authenticity of what he/she has said, based on the facts. Quite honestly, I don't understand the public's view of sociopaths as "monsters", honestly, they're normal people, like you, they're just smart enough to not be sheep herded like the rest of the general populace. They've realized that people CAN be manipulated, and that other than that, they can manipulate themselves. In a way, they're like extremely logical actors! You can say that they're monsters, because they coldly manipulate people with little regard for that person's safety, but honestly... Tell me you've never been selfish. You have the capability to do the exact same thing as they, except you allowed yourselves to be conditioned by the public's view of "morality". Just because someone sees things more logically, or even differently than you do, does it really make them monsters?
DeleteTaking a stand,
Laquiot.
And as a side note, I'm not really a sociopath, but I've "learned" the same things they have. It's easy to manipulate people. And all I have to do is not care. Think about it. You could have anything you want, if you simply see things with an objective mindset. Use whoever, whatever, and do it however you please. It's life without consequence, and all you have to do is simply not care.
@2 - On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog. But with this blog it is *relatively* reasonable to presume the authenticity of the content.
ReplyDeleteThe post: coming out with sociopathy is probably not the grandest of ideas. But seems as people tend to judge one another according to their actions rather than thoughts, closer friends might well survive the "bombshell". Whether they'll believe you is another matter altogether.
On an unrelated subject - I wonder if m.e. didn't confuse "unique" with "particular"?
It obviously always "judging according to their actions", there is nothing such an imprisoned criminal who just thought about it. M.E. can be as evil as she wants in her mind. Society rules are about living and let live.
DeleteSociety rules are about living and let live.
DeleteJessica, your clinging to your beliefs makes your ignorance impregnable, which you misconstrue as strength. It also makes you a potentially easy victim, given just the right con artist, one who would know how to use your ignorance to his advantage.
Now, please tell me something more than "All wrong. You weak and ignorant. Buah"
DeleteIt is not a believe it is what I think. So, if you disagree you can tell me why and we can discuss it. So, tell me where is my ignorance, please.
Jessi is not ignorant or weak. She is smart and strong. She knows how the world works. Jessi understands everything. She sees that you do not understand the world, and she tries to help you see it too. You do not understand, you are ignorant.
Deleteis this the twilight zone?
DeleteJessi, I can't disagree with you. Disagreeing with ignorance is like disagreeing with empty space; it's a category error. Besides which, you don't really want to cure your ignorance, so your request is a disingenuous.
DeleteHaving said that, I’ll answer anyway:
So, tell me where is my ignorance, please.
Yourself. You are ignorant of how your own mind really works.
What really fuels your false bravado and juvenile sense of moral superiority is fear. Deep, abiding fear. If you really believe the things you've said on this blog, that is.
One final tip: yawn used in an internet conversation translates to “Oh shit, I’ve just lost the argument.”
Oh, you somehow answered...
DeleteDaniel, I made several concrete statements, so you can perfectly agree or disagree with them. You can consider my ignorance is in the origin of the reason you disagree with a statement, but to disagree with the statement it is not a synonym of “disagreeing with ignorance”. You can disagree with the statement, point me the reasons why and give your view on the subject. That’s how an grown-up conversation works.
To say “I can't disagree with you. Disagreeing with ignorance is like disagreeing with empty space; it's a category error” after someone has made a concrete statement is a behavior alike the one of the child in kindergarten saying “I can answer to you because you didn’t use the word you should have use. You wrong. You bad. Buah”. Once again it brings nothing. In kindergartens the conversation usually follows with “And you are even more stupid”. Then “I am a mirror, you are seeing the reflection of your stupidity” Then “I am mirror too”, and so on. A very elevating approach as you can see, which I’ve seen here, sadly, too many times and it is my reason for yawning.
It is funny that you accuse me of believing I have a sense of moral superiority when you disqualify my concrete opinions by saying nothing but “you are ignorant” reminding of Caesar placing his thumb down.
I concreteley yawned before because Quasi’s comment was again another comment that brought absolutely nothing to the discussion, just again another way of saying “You wrong. You bad. Buah”.
I want to make clear that what has bored me to the point of exhaustion is the non-stop attitude "you wrong. you bad. buah", which is unrelated to the fact that people might have or not have empathy.
If this behaviour is really related to being a sociopath, its childishness make me consider the possiblity that sociopathy is nothing but a developement issue. Finally,
aggressive behavior, impulsive nature, poor self control, being inappropriately demanding, the destructive nature, being manipulative and argumentative and bossy,.. are children common traits.
No Jessi, what bores you are the impenetrable walls of your own self constructed and self imposed intellectual prison. I imagine it would be very tiresome, looking at the same thing over and over and over again, yet feeling uncontrollably compelled to defend your prison whenever someone tries to free with you facts. Almost every single time someone on this blog has tried giving you facts that you don’t seem to be aware of, you respond not with curiosity, but with close mindedness. Fear often drives close mindedness.
DeleteYet… You keep coming back here. Perhaps, along with the fear, there is an inner rebel that wants out. The mind is legion. Most are never nearly as internally unified as they think they are. Listen to your inner bitch. She wants to blow your prison apart. She wants you to breath fresh air. She wants you to be free.
I opened a debate with you and I was going to be back to see if you answered. Still, you don't give me any reasons of why "Society rules are about living and let live." is wrong, neither which is your opinion about it. You gave me for the 3rd time in a row the feedback " you wrong. You bad. Buah". So I guess this conversation has reached a dead end. This is not about having or not having an inner bitch, this is about all humans being of equal value and that the best for all and each of us is to keep our inner bitches tied to live together.
DeleteWhat do you think about the Cleveland kidnapping?
Jessi
Still, you don't give me any reasons of why "Society rules are about living and let live." is wrong.
DeleteI think I can about reply to this. No one can answer for society's "rules" because society's rules are subjective to the individual's thoughts and beliefs. For instance, I'm part of society, and I believe society's rules are about "Doing as you please, to prolong and enhance your own experience." See the difference? Your version of societies rules are DIFFERENT THAN MINE! That doesn't mean they're WRONG, but it also doesn't mean they're RIGHT! Again, morality is subject to alteration.
This is not about having or not having an inner bitch, this is about all humans being of equal value and that the best for all and each of us is to keep our inner bitches tied to live together.
Now then, about this... I'm glad people like you exist. I really am. I'm glad that there are people like you who keep themselves imprisoned for the sake of being imprisoned. It's like the door is unlocked, but you won't leave, simply because you've been TOLD you're a prisoner! I'm the guy who lights a fire in your cell, and waits and watches to see whether you leave or die. I'm the manipulative bastard that lurks about, that you, out of fear of becoming, stay locked in your prison until the fire burns you alive. Meanwhile, I just laugh. I laugh because rather than freeing yourself in the midst of a crisis, you'd rather DIE A PRISONER! And, hate to be the one to tell you this, but, humans are NOT equal, as they are not alike. (To make an example, 2 and 5 are not alike, therefore they are not equal.) In this world, you are who your intelligence allows you to be. And you, Jessica, are not exhibiting much of this trait. You blindly accuse Daniel of being wrong, simply because your "Prisoner" views, do not match his "Freed" views. Perhaps you should take a step out of that prison, and see if your views line up. Talk to me when you've seen the sun, mate.
Signing off,
Laquiot.
Travis: Well, Now I know you're from Australia.
ReplyDeleteAbout the post, I'm an Empath, and I am dead shit scared of sociopaths after encountered one, I personally think that going out of the closet for any sociopath is the worst thing he/she can do for him/herself, Let me explain:
Why don't people like sociopaths? because they can't feel and emphasize and all that stuff, But it's not because you can't do it that were scared, It's because we don't understand it,
I can not comprehend how it is to not feel emotions, That's what scares me, And I'll probably never be able to comprehend it because I'll probably feel emotions and guilt and whatnot.
Here's an interesting and unrelated thought, you could look at psychopathy as a Katana sword, One side is blunt and the other is sharp, Blunt being the empaths and sharp being the psychopaths, Why? Because to ourselves we seem less dangerous and unlike the sharp side "Were not built to do actual damage", That is of course a load of crap.
Comparing it to a sword would only work if you compare to a bastard sword, Both sides are sharp, And both sides are sharp.
Truth is you don't understand us exactly in the same way that we don't understand you.
Mimicking by the way isn't understanding, it's just acting like you do.
And one last thing.
I wouldn't mind having a sociopath friend, And I wouldn't judge him for being a sociopath.
As long as his not hurting me in any way, I wouldn't hurt him in anyway.
Most people wouldn't do that, But that's why you got angry mobs for. :)
You are giving to much importance to empathy. If people, also NTs, will be ruled by empathy there will be no need for laws. The world is not ruled by empathy AT ALL. So there is not such a big difference in a NT or a sociopath in practice besides the fact that, while both know it is not ok, the second decides to abuse others.
DeleteFirstly, Jessi, I'd like to begin by saying, your views are your views. And secondly, most sociopaths see no difference in right or wrong, as morality tends to be heavily influenced by emotion, and empathy. Some sociopaths see nothing wrong with "abusing others" as long as their point is made, or their goal achieved.
DeleteI wish I could be an "in the closet" sociopath. It seems to me no matter how normal I try to appear, eventually the real me is revealed. I guess that makes me a "low funtioning sociopath" because my buttons get pushed too easily and I try to systematically destroy the person who pushes it. I have extrememly poor behavioral controls I guess
ReplyDeleteM.E..,,,
ReplyDeleteYou are you. And thing is your blog and I like that you choose to write about whatever the fuck you choose.
Whether you are giving us 20% of your life or 80% of it doesnt matter. The things you write about seem to have people coming back, such as myself.
"The things you write about seem to have people coming back, such as myself."
ReplyDeleteAgreed! You would be surprised when you google "sociopaths" how many other sites mention your blog :)
me..i'd actually like to hear more posts about how you reconcile your inner world and the normal world...my immediate reaction to this post was the same as 2s...this is the first post in a while that was personal..this site is in need of a bit more of that...
ReplyDeleteyeah it would be nice to hear more about the author and less about scientific papers and quote and stuff. i mean studies are nice and all that but thats exactly what you're trying to shake off right? why not give us more first hand accounts and all that. change whatever names and circumstances you have to just keep the essence of it. dont give us studies on sociopaths, help us understand what life is like as one
ReplyDeleteOn an unrelated note!
ReplyDeleteIt really makes me wonder how M.E. can post 1 post one day, and then an entirely new set of commenters come out of the woodworks. It's a tad eerie and offsetting.
Travis: "But with this blog it is *relatively* reasonable to presume the authenticity of the content."
Yeah, I just put that in there since there was a slight chance M.E. was just BSing us.
To Empathic Empath:
Humans fear what they don't understand. It's a very rudimentary survival mechanism in our genes that we've had since, well, I frankly don't know how long we've had it. But it has been for quite some time.
However, I try not to fear what I don't understand and I approach it with interest. I want to expand my understanding in general, so I find things that I don't comprehend as very interesting. You don't have to be a sociopath or anything to feel this way, so I ask, why do you fear what you don't understand? Or is this field-specific, the field being sociopaths? If so, I still ask: Why?
FROM ANON--because my buttons get pushed too easily and I try to systematically destroy the person who pushes it. I have extrememly poor behavioral controls I guess:
ReplyDeleteWhat is that process like for you? Destroy the person systematically?Does this make you feel as though you have regained control and have the upper hand? Just trying to understand this.
I've got to give kudos to M.E. for managing to come up with content at least every day or two. That in itself in quite a feat. So what if sometimes the posts seem like filler.
ReplyDeleteAnd I would agree that the most interesting part of this blog is the comments and reactions....and I think M.E. understands this. I'm betting he/she enjoys watching this "experiment".
Though these more personal posts are just as interesting.
I don't know of any other site about sociopaths that aren't geared around just the so-called "victims". Those sites are fricken annoying and close-minded and generally self-righteous.
I think it's great that at least half of the visitors here are sociopaths themselves, and it's doubly interesting to see sociopaths and empaths interact, especially in an intelligent (well, sometimes) manner instead of blind reactionary-ness. Seems to be mostly the newcomers who get all reactionary. Eventually either they get a clue, or leave. Or shut the fuck up and just lurk.
The only other site I've found with this kind of rapport is in the Narcissistic Personality Disorder forum at the Psychforums.
http://www.psychforums.com/narcissistic-personality/
The blogs about sociopath's victims are not bad in their content, but the comments can be terribly unexciting. Because as a smart anon stated already here, one profile of victim is the one who uses the sociopath as his/her excuse not to grow up once more. And those people are very talkative and repetitive. On the other hand, those blogs don't attract an also very painful kind of people: the teens wannabe sociopaths. Which are pure noise, though they get tired earlier.
DeleteThose that are neither sociopaths nor empaths participate as well.
DeleteHa! Love the pic with this post. I had to look at it a couple of times before I got it.
ReplyDeleteClever.
"What is that process like for you? Destroy the person systematically?Does this make you feel as though you have regained control and have the upper hand? Just trying to understand this."
ReplyDeleteThats EXaCTLY how it feels :)
This control addiction sounds so boring.
Deletefrom Anon above:Thats EXaCTLY how it feels :)
ReplyDeleteBut do you really feel vindicated? Or do you just want the person on the other end to think you are and that you will go one your way happy and free?
What kind a person would a sociopath be able to be honest with initailly? When I say honest I mean the part of you that you feel the need to hide.
I don't feel the need to hide anything. My natural state is to get a feel for someone, and try to be what they want me to be. That's not my universal stance, though. If I like someone, or if I'll have to interact with them in the future, I'm very personable. If I don't like someone and I don't anticipate (or want) to see them again, I'm distant.
DeleteWhat am I hiding? Largely I hide you from yourself. I pick up on your faults, mannerisms, and strengths quite rapidly. Then, it's a gentle game of give and take, of push and pull, until you are where I want you to be. The people that get hurt, they don't see when I am pushing them away, so they nudge ever closer. Then I tell them their faults, or use them to hurt them, so that they will leave me alone. If I want you away from me, you will be away, and frankly I really don't care how that makes you feel. If I enjoy it, it's mostly because I'm so glad to be rid of you.
We all know how to use people as objects, we don't do it because we are not bastards and we see there is no pride in being one.
DeleteJessi you are right. People are people, they have equal rights, so I should live and let live. I shouldn't hurt people, they are not objects, they have feelings. It is bad to hurt people because they have feelings.
DeleteYou are right, Jessi, you are right.
quasimoto, @ 709 that post sound a little bit like me. do you have a specific personality type?
DeleteNo, it makes me feel vindicated, putting them back in their true place. I think if you are a sociopath and you dont hide it you are likely to be handicapping yourself in a lot of ways, socially speaking. Who wants to get sexually involved with a person who will tell you up front you are easily replaceable (and mean it). I think the only people Ive shown my true colors to that didnt reject me were other sociopaths themeselves...however then theres the power struggle that ensues...and sometimes those get nasty.
ReplyDeleteinteresting. not that i want to experience that again. time has gone by and im more interested than devistated and so i still come on here. i wish i could have been something more in the middle maybe then it would have worked. but what am i saying..that's a crazy thought:)
ReplyDeleteanother one who wants a exotic bird ;)
Delete"What kind a person would a sociopath be able to be honest with initailly? When I say honest I mean the part of you that you feel the need to hide."
ReplyDeleteand
" I think the only people Ive shown my true colors to that didnt reject me were other sociopaths themeselves...however then theres the power struggle that ensues...and sometimes those get nasty."
For me, outing oneself is an extremely risky gamble that has yet to pay of in the way I imagined it would. By this I mean a relationship where there is a mutual sigh of relief that we do not have to be "fake" around each other - the typical emotional energy required dealing with empaths - the energy used to disguise our real thoughts from their radar. A relationship where you can be yourself with the other person without risk. I would agree with the second quote I have posted... having been in a relationship like this and I would say that it is very risky for both of us, as we both understand that we have no limits like empaths do. We both understand emotional sabotage is a useless gesture against the other - and so we are both conscious that in the event of a significant fight our relationship would end with us each sabotaging the other's friends, family, job, or other areas receptive to influence.
So, from my experience, I would only ever be "honest" (in your respect) with someone who I was sure had more to lose than I do, or that is simple enough that they can be easily controlled and monitored. But who knows - I would think a period of frustration would be the influence to make the final push if I had been contemplating sharing that with someone.
Very interesting. Which kind of attitude would help you make that finaly push? Would you ever friend an empath that offers you a mutual-non-agression deal even though you know you have no control over them?
DeleteI'm an empath, but a fairly open-minded one. I don't see any point in hating someone for who they are. Being a sociopath isn't necessarily a bad thing. It just means you don't empathize with other people. That doesn't mean that you are pre-programmed to be evil.
ReplyDeleteI don't really fear sociopaths, but I will admit that I'd have a hard time trusting one. From reading this blog, I get some really conflicting info on sociopaths. It's easy to find socios on this site who make no apologies for their sick behavior. They constantly talk about how fun it is to hurt other people and take advantage of them. This definitely gives me pause, and it doesn't make sociopaths look very positive. I'm still trying to figure out whether all sociopaths initially have the desire to hurt other people, or whether it's simply easier for sociopaths to do but not their "default setting".
To the writer of this post, I applaud your effort to come out of the closet. Part of the problem for sociopaths is simply the fact that they can't talk about their true selves with other people. I think if sociopathic children and adults were able to come out of the closet (without having to fear for their lives) they might be able to act more normal, and lying wouldn't become such second nature to them. Personally, I wouldn't suggest coming out to everyone, but it might be a relief to come out to a few close friends and family members. They would probably feel honored that you trusted them enough to tell them. And, it would be good PR for sociopaths b/c at least some ppl would start to realize that you aren't so bad afterall.
It is not about hating someone for being what they are, but for doing what they do to others. Their hollowness is not a problem, their evil actions are. Very sweet the "It's easy to find socios on this site who make no apologies for their sick behavior". The real problem of a sociopath is that they are too stupid to see they have a problem and they see it as a reason of pride. They are almost as pathetic as the NTs wannabes.
DeleteA Sociopath is like a big bear smashing snails and thinking: "Waw, I am so strong and smart." Their narcissism makes them think that destroying requires being smart when it is well known that there is nothing more challenging than creating. Still, considering their childish rage, I think that probably, deep inside, they still know how pathetically they've chosen to behave.
lol I think everyone is stupid. Or at least not nearly as smart as they think they are. I have not been thoroughly impressed by anyone yet. And so many people on here speak similarly. Some would call that being trite. Inclined to think that sociopaths and empaths are sheep alike. But what do I know I'm just as dull if not duller. Only difference might be my candor.
Delete90% of drivers think they drive better than the average, here it's pretty similar.
DeleteOf course, Jessi! People that think they are smart are mostly not smart. You are in the 10% of drivers, because you are smart and know you are smart.
DeleteI don't know if that 10% was randomnly chosen or if you really didn't understand the sentence...
DeleteWell, today is my last day here. I hope it was not to painful for anybody (just a way of talking, it's part of that personal freedom I can use with asking permision the one of speech) (Uf...I might be getting a headache) I can't say this was better than expected but it has some fun moments, though globally was rather boring. Don't miss me too much ;)
But don’t think that you were of no use. I came here asking for tips on how to keep an “exotic bird” as a friend, and at this point if I would have one I would bring it back to the shop. If I ever considered any possible remorse about exposing him, they all faded. You were priceless.
DeleteHa, I probably would have known more of what you wanted if I had checked comments of the days before I started posting.
DeleteI just can not begin to understand. No matter how much I read or imagine. I am just not the type of person to maliciously hurt others.
ReplyDeleteI can lose my temper, I can be a bitch, etc. But I would never try to hurt someone, in the way sociopaths seem to hurt.
And I am an atheist.
Focus only on selfishness, cowardice and low self-esteem. You are a loser, too stupid to play by the rules and win, but you want to win, like winners do, so you use tricks, but your self-esteem will take a hit if you accept that you are just to bad to play well and win, so you made up a justification on why cheating is good and smart. Then you go on playing and cheating, you target easy victims so you can win, like this your feeling of being a loser diminishes, you win on something. You are the most pathetic kind of loser: the abuser, you have to hide it to the world, because they will see you as such. While they are not aware, in your little world, you are the king of destruction, and you are proud.
DeletePardon me? Are you talking to me? That makes no sense.
DeleteYes, I am asking you to imagine that type of person, in order to understand.
DeleteUh Jessi. Sociopath or not, I don't think "loser" is the most accurate term for describing M.E...
DeleteShe's kind of, sort of what is considered successful
And we all use people. People are there to be used. It's just that sometimes you can't get their permission so you have to sort of ignore the lack of consent.
It's rather simple, 1:04. Have you ever hurt anyone before, ever? If you say no, you are a liar, and I have no interest in you. Yes, I am a liar, but I do not (or at least try not) to lie to myself. Those who lie to themselves are not interesting to me.
DeleteLet's assume you've just broken up with someone. There is a duality of emotions. You hurt, because you feel the pain of the person whose heart you just broke. But you've also gotten what you wanted, or needed, from the breakup, else you would not have broken up with him in the first place. This leaves you sad, but also satisfied with the situation, because it just wasn't going to work. You did the right thing, and feel the right way.
If I step into your shoes, so to speak, I've just broken up with someone. I do not hurt, because no matter how hard I try, I cannot make their pain my pain. I cannot feel it. However, I have gotten what I wanted, so I am satisfied. Furthermore, since I don't hurt, my satisfaction is not colored by pain. I know you don't understand how I cannot share their pain, but trust me, I simply cannot.
Thus, for me, life becomes a game where in winning, I care nothing for the losers. My victory is more full, sweeter, stronger, because I don't share the pain of the losers. I am the overenthusiastic victor who stands on top of the podium and screams to the world, I have won!
I cannot pretend to know how I became this way, but I like to try and figure it out. One thing that is certain is that I am and have always been extremely sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others. If this did not change, and I were an empath, I would not be able to survive. It would be like those TV shows or movies where suddenly, you can hear the thoughts of everyone around you. It seems like fun at the beginning, but after a short time, all you want is for it to stop.
I cannot share your emotions, because I would share them too strongly for me to bear. Can you empathize with that?
When you break with someone you don’t hurt the person. The person suffers because he/she doesn’t like it, not because you inflicted them any damage. (This looks like going back to the conversation of taking away the axe from the evil man...)
Delete"You are the most pathetic kind of loser: the abuser, you have to hide it to the world, because they will see you as such. While they are not aware, in your little world, you are the king of destruction, and you are proud. "
DeleteWe can empathize with your hollowness. But there is nothing to empathize in the fact that somebody who knows he is abusing others continues doing it. Can you understand it?
DeleteI don't know how old you are, Jessi, but I'm fairly certain you should have picked up by now how cause and effect relationships work.
DeleteBecause I know how they work and I know that being hollow doesn't imply that you can abuse others and feel proud of it.
DeleteActually, I wanted to say, though I haven't been reading the blog for that long, that I don't see the narcissistic sociopath side in M.E. I have stated that she was a wannabe sociopath but maybe she just has linked her hollowness to being a sociopath though she is not. Do you know if there are any entries were she talks about being cruel?
I also think that maybe you have a misunderstanding about what being an empath means. As I said empathy doesn't rule the world, neither for empaths. Many NTs, if not watched and if they don't have to deal with the consequences, they will also commit felonies.
DeleteShe seems pretty high-functioning if she is a sociopath. You're never going to know for sure who is and who isn't, Jessi. So you might as well take the advice you've been given. Maybe it didn't come from sociopaths, but it could have. Ultimately the perspectives were at least different from yours.
DeleteBack to M.E. and cruelness...if there are subtle, less messy means to an end (and I'm sure there are for someone of her intelligence and experience) why would she apply infliction where it doesn't need to be? She's isn't some dominatrix (well she might be who knows. She's just unaffected by the potential discontent of others whose wants/needs/rights may be compromised in order for M.E. to get her cake and eat it.
Chet, I don't see M.E. as being a sociopath.
DeleteWhat does sociopath mean to you besides a ruthless cowardly loser with compensating unjustified narcissism?
Delete"if there are subtle, less messy means to an end why would she apply infliction where it doesn't need to be?" This is an empath question. Before knowing my spath was a sociopath I thought many times he was stupid, then I realized that his narcissism and the pleasure for feeling in control and other hedonistic impulses, were underproductive for his goals but he still did them.
DeleteNot really. I mean, sure some people from both groups have a bit of a risk addiction, but it tends to be the ones in the way that get themselves hurt. Like with Anon Ymous and Monica for example. He wasn't mean to her until she wouldn't stop being touchy with him after he rejected to her, or at least that's what he perceived. If your alleged socio picks on the passive and unassuming that are not technically in his way than he must be bored, and once again I think you should offer to sleep with him to fix that.
Delete*then where I typed than
DeleteSeriously, not much more. But you forgot the hollowness. The lack of emotionality though, it has also a positive side when they reason in an impartial way.
DeleteI actually don't believe in sociopaths, besides as a way of clustering some people who have some traits. I have met evil empaths that were almost worse than sociopaths, with the add-on that they were strangers to logic.
I mainly believe in evil people.
If you've taught me anything, Jessi, it's that you can't reason with the unreasonable. I feel like I'm re-learning that lesson every day. Point out my errors to me, and I will change, if you're right!
DeleteFor Dolores, when I was dealing with Monica, did I not try to be subtle? How did that work out? She kept fawning after me. I had to be cruel, because she had me up on some kind of pedestal. She just wouldn't let go! What would you have me do? I suppose if I were smarter, I could hit on the correct amount of subtlety that lets me edge people out of my business without hurting them.
Now that sounds like a challenge. If only I still had someone fawning over me that I didn't like, I could give it a shot! The future is full of endless opportunities, I'm sure I'll get a chance to practice that fine art.
Oh, you are a clever one, getting inside my head like that.
DeleteIt seems Jessi is emotionally attached to her beliefs, just like those tragic empaths you referenced the other day. She will always believe what she wants to believe. It was useless for her to seek advice. It is useless to be honest with her. Congrats, Jessi. You make things useless haha
DeleteTell me what did I say that it was unreasonable. Otherwise you are going to fall in the category of “All is wrong. You bad. Buah” which is not the one of the reasonable people.
DeleteErrors: you are not respectful towards others.
You could have been clear and correct towards Monica without being offensive and cruel. And you should again make the difference besides saying something you are entitle to say and getting someone hurt maybe because they are hypersensitive (their problem) and saying something which is hurtful (your problem)
I will have nothing to do with my spath anymore. I will resolve anonymously the other issue.
DeleteOh, what about you are the emotionlly attached to your believes? 'It was useless to be honest with you. Congrats. You are a lost case' ;)
DeleteI don't even know why I try...
Delete"When you break with someone you don’t hurt the person. The person suffers because he/she doesn’t like it, not because you inflicted them any damage."
This is analogous to saying when you stab someone, you don't hurt the person. The person suffers because he/she doesn't like it, not because you inflicted them any damage.
Reeeeaaasoning....with the unnnnREAAAASONABLEEEE
You drive me fucking nuts.
Also, you have no idea how much you remind me of my wife. And that is the furthest thing from a compliment that I can say.
DeleteI know you are a manipulative bastard so it is not clear if you just don't understand it or if you pretend not to. Maybe you didn't understand it...
DeleteHuman cohabitance it is about: "to live and let live" and "we all have the same value". You've never heard that of "your freedom ends there where the freedom of the other one begins"? You are free to choose the person you want to be with in a relationship. You are not free to stab someone.
I'm also not sure why I try...
So, you have a wife and you don't like her. Now I would like to recall Chet's question: "if there are subtle, less messy means to an end why would she apply infliction where it doesn't need to be?". Sounds very smart to have a wife you don't like.
DeleteI know that I am good and you are bad. That I am right and you are wrong. And nothing you say or do will ever, or can ever, change that.
DeleteOh, a synonym for “All is wrong. You bad. Buah”. Now, please answer with content.
DeleteAnd you call yourself an empath, when I'm here standing in your shoes. Look at my feet. THESE ARE YOUR SHOES.
DeleteThe kind that pick and choose
Deletewithin the poles, but not at either
denounce the marginalizing type,
unless of course the subject is morality—
then suddenly the world is black and white,
which is an example of picking and choosing…
Beautiful shoes, now, what about a comment about:
Delete"Human cohabitance it is about: "to live and let live" and "we all have the same value". You've never heard that of "your freedom ends there where the freedom of the other one begins"? You are free to choose the person you want to be with in a relationship. You are not free to stab someone. "
I think you're smarter than me, Dolores. Of course, I'm always the one who cleans up after the cat, feeds it and pets it, while the cat does as it pleases. I shouldn't be so surprised.
DeleteI'm still married to my wife, even though we are entirely separated, so she can be covered by the health insurance through my work, that I pay for. I take my debts seriously, and for a while when we were together, we shared love. Yes, I can no longer live with her, but I don't want her to suffer. I owe her that much, for what she gave me. Yes, I had to hurt her, to drive her away so I could move forward with my life, but she has gained so much while I continue to lose.
Man I hate wives. Just the word "wife" is ugly.
DeleteMistress, on the other hand, is a lovely word.
DeleteTrue.
DeleteAnd mistresses usually comply.
My comment fell apparently in your blindspot. Hello?
DeleteI don't believe a word about the wife thing. Besides maybe her existence and even that... Anyway, my comment:
"Human cohabitance it is about: "to live and let live" and "we all have the same value". You've never heard that of "your freedom ends there where the freedom of the other one begins"? You are free to choose the person you want to be with in a relationship. You are not free to stab someone. "
You want me to try and translate what you said or something? I guess I'll take a stab at it. Please answer one question, though. Why do you keep asking me what I think?
DeleteLiving together means not killing each other, and each person in a relationship is of equal worth.
The next part brings to mind some sort of line that is my freedom, and it runs into someone else's freedom, and the lines meet and there's some kind of freedom discontinuity.
The next part is that you pick who you live with, but you shouldn't kill them.
To me, nothing you say makes sense, or has any kind of context. It's like you're disfiguring and spouting some kind of rhetoric that has meaning to you, but you fail to communicate that meaning to me.
If I start saying things that make no sense, will they have meaning for you?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but spring showers bring may flowers. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, so let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Mary had a little lamb, we all fall down.
Because you accused me of being unreasonable, I answered and there was vacuum.
DeleteOh, well if “my freedom ends where your freedom begins" is like “Mary had a little lamb, we all fall down” then we have a cognitive disparity that makes impossible our conversation. Which in part is a release because I was getting terrible bored...
I visit daily some web sites and websites to read articles, but this web
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In terms of total percentages, you are right, M.E. What we see is 20% of you, but I think that 20% is weighted more heavily than you give it credit.
ReplyDeleteWe all have hobbies, quirks, things we do, and things we like to talk about that fill 80% of our day. But the inner dialogue, the 20% that is how we really think and feel, aches to make a connection with the 20% of others. The draw for me is to be able to have a truly honest conversation with someone, without them interjecting "you're a monster" between every exchange.
It's a beautiful illusion, to interact with just someone's mind, and if the people talking are strong enough, they will not shatter it. Because some people, when they see the 80%, they balk at your practices and will never come back for your product, your 20%, as much as they loved it before.
When growing up, I was hypersensitive to the people around me. They were mostly empaths, and they would smile and shake your hand, and the moment you turn your back they mock you. They do it to everyone, all the time, but it's apparently acceptable to do this, so long as you spare your target's feelings. Then it's okay.
This sickens me, and it always has. I have trouble trusting people's opinions of me, because all of them act this way. Even today, I'm uncomfortable when people come up to me, and tell me the problems they have with others. I nod assent, and smile, but inside I am repulsed. Why not be honest with people? Why spare them pain, when you leave them blind to what you hate about them? They say people never change, and I think it's because nobody speaks their mind. And when they do speak their mind, it spawns hatred and rage, wars, because you've been honest.
You say you all hate sociopaths, that you're afraid of us, that we're monsters? We are monsters in the minority, and we're the only creatures that walk this earth that will be completely honest with you. We may even change you for the better, if you would open your ears and your eyes and listen, and see! We use you to our advantage, why not use us to yours?
The bells, the bells...!
DeleteYou are paying with the world your problems when you were a kid. Why don't you solve them with the ones who created them?
DeleteSome NTs are hypocrites, is just a lower level or socipathy. Just because an NT does something it doesn't have to be good.
People don't like critics. I thought you would understand this very well...
"Completely honest" while you sleep? ;) To abuse others has nothing to do with honesty. You can be honest and not an abuser, just imagine...
All NTs are hypocrites, it's impossible for you not to be. You must spare people's feelings. When I wear the mask of the empath, I am hypocritical by nature. When I remove it, I become honest, and that's what you really, truly fear.
DeleteJessi, we've conversed for a while here. Please give me your most honest opinion of me. Don't hold back, you need not fear hurting my feelings, for I have none. If you like, I will respond in kind with my honest assessment of you.
I disagree. When I dislike something I say it if I am asked, otherwise I just avoid it. People see you don't like it and that's enough.
DeleteI don't know you just because we've conversed for a while. But if what you said it was really how you are, I think of you what I said in previous comment describing the sociopath: selfish, coward and narcissitic. There is not much more. I don't find sociopaths that interesting afterall. And now that my exotic pet quest has been cancelled... I guess I will not be around for much longer.
Yeah I can't fucking stand gossiping hens. And yes, I have said that to their face(s). I may "play nice" and be polite to keep the peace/prevent unnecessary drama, but it seems many empaths are either afraid to be straightforward with people due to the confrontation aspect, or they are too self-indulgent to give up their hackneyed chirping.
Delete@Quasi Modo: i think you are empathic.
Delete3:24, why do you think that?
Deletelet me clarify: i see you as empathic and as a congruent person. it's just an idea, just a feeling. but nothing to be sure about.
DeleteHow do you know if empathy is there and has just not been active yet, or if there is none?
DeleteOh, semantics can be interesting.
Deleteempathy:
the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
I do experience half of empathy. I have full intellectual understanding of the feelings, thoughts, and attitudes of others.
I don't experience them vicariously through other people, though. I'd like to continue talking if you have further thoughts.
I can't stop focusing my own sentiments/wants long enough to process that of others. I wonder if I had everything I want, would I be more affected.
DeleteI can't turn off seeing how other people think and feel. It's like trying not to see with your eyes wide open. I can, however, stop acting like I care.
DeleteI said as much to someone I was having an argument with, "I don't care." and that hurt them more than anything I'd ever done.
I sometimes don't notice at all. Or I sort of do, but it doesn't process. I realize they are happy/upset/grieving but I feel like I'm watching them on tv and it would be absurd to care.
DeleteIt's all pretend! If you wanted something from them, and you knew you wouldn't get it if you didn't pretend to care, could you pretend? Do you pretend?
DeleteYes but it takes a lot of energy. sometimes takes adderall lol
DeleteI just read the article M.E. retweeted.(http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201305/confessions-sociopath)
DeleteIf even a small part of that is true in spirit, I'm very bad at being a sociopath. I get myself out of trouble, sure, but I'm basically harmless. It's no wonder I'm so terrible at being bad, I've just never had it in me. All I have are words without action, idealism without real support for my case. I'm not a wolf or a sheep, but a puppy. Arf.
You know what, be glad you have empathy. I have a friend who is a sociopath. I was complaining about something related to feelings. She said, "Never complain about your feelings. I never had the chance to have them."
Deletecongrats on your revelation lol
DeleteI'm trying very hard to recall my childhood, and I think I did have complete empathy, but I lost it. I remember a fellow little-league baseball player. His house was kind of run-down, and I casually remarked about it. He was upset, embarrassed about it, and I think I felt bad.
DeleteI've lost it, though, the part where I feel what others feel. I think I also try to actively avoid feeling. For example, my aunt is dying from an incurable neurodegenerative disease, and whenever my mother brings it up, I cannot talk about it. I've shut myself off from feeling the pain of others. It's too strong for me, or I'm not strong enough for it.
I'm going to have to find another excuse for being an asshole. Damn, sociopath was a good one.
I thought I was a sociopath when I came on because I had a cold spot due to abuse. The best thing you can do on here is to talk from your heart because that is the only way to re-claim the lost parts which went numb( disassociated) as this is what you are saying happened imo
DeleteI was reading M.E's article for today. At one point in my life( age 14) I truly felt cold and heartless. I hated this feeling because I did have love from a grandmother and that love made me want to be someone special to make her proud of me and for me to honor her memory. She has been the one beacon and guiding light in my life and it remains even though she has died.
My point is that if you are not a sociopath, be happy. It is a burden not to have empathy. It is a burden to have to hide your emotions and fake emotions to fit in. I don't think anyone would choose it, even though people act cavalier about it, on here. I really don't think a sociopath would not want to change. I could be wrong and may be arrogant in saying this. I base it on the few sociopaths I have known from here and with whom I have talked at a deep level.
I didn't really apologize earlier, Monica, I thought it would be insincere. It's not. I'm sorry.
DeleteIt is OK, Sweetie. I learned a lot <3
Deletei can shut down empathy, too. but not really voluntarily, it's a brain stem's program, i guess. then i still can reason about emtotions, mine and other's, without actually feeling it. it's learned behaviour, i think, to avoid pain. it also disconnects real relationships.
DeleteYes, it is a disconnect with yourself.
DeleteI practiced being sad last night. How hilarious is that?
Deleteoh, sadness is a good one, you cannot direct it like anger, just have to have it and weep
DeleteChet, that's very interesting what you said about watching them on TV. That explains to me why the sociopath I know didn't seem to view me as a person worthy of their concern. I guess I was like a TV character to her. Not as real and as feeling as she is.
DeleteQuasi Modo, I would love to have a conversation with a sociopath and I will not say "you're a monster" between every exchange. I just want to learn about how sociopaths think and I realize that saying they're a monster would hinder that. Now though, I'm afraid to get near one because they will hurt me in some way.
I find it interesting, among flock animals, that when one of the animals in the flock are perceived by the rest of the flock as being threatened or targeted by a predator, the rest of the flock will abandon the threatened animal.
ReplyDeleteIt's so silly, because most of these herd animals usually have some form of defence, such as horns or whatever, but they'd rather flee in an effort to preserve themselves than defend their own kind.
They could totally wipe out the rest of the predators even, but now it's 'every animal for themselves'... and the herd goes down.
I guess fear is that 'Sociopathic' force which drives them to sacrifice their own kind, without a further thought or concern over the loss.
DeleteFear, that betrayer.
In their case I call it stupid selfishness combined with cowardice.
DeleteIf i wanted to defend another person against another evil person i'll try to make sure the supposed victim wants to be defended and my motive is really coming to rescue somebody. You flock animals be careful, you might get entangled in a drama triangle with your horns and stuff.
DeleteMy advice is don't come out unless or until you are ready to stay in your socio character unabashedly 80% of the time. Your coming out will change the entire 80-20 structure. It won't be like the neuroscientist who reports he has a psycho-like brain. You have so far (in the blog, and I suspect in your book) embraced being a sociopath, and that right there is a huge turn off outside the blog for not only normals or empaths but more so for other sociopaths who cannot do that. They would love to take you down, as you have reported in the past for a socio nothing like beating another, I suspect they would target you.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing she's saying is that she doesn't want being a sociopath to define her. There's so much more to her than this aspect of her life, but given the negative connotation, exposing her identity to the world forces everyone to define her as sociopath, and nothing more.
DeleteIf you have been convicted of murder, you are a murderer. If you've molested a child, you are a child molester. If you not only say, but show the world you are a sociopath, then that's all you ever can or will be.
kind of like coming out as gay.
DeleteBeing gay is at least on the right trajectory, what with legalization of gay marriage in some states, and open support by the President (U.S. here). Is there a line I should be standing in? Me next!
DeleteOf course, with shows like Dexter and Sherlock Holmes, maybe people are playing with the idea that sociopaths could be mainstream. Still, there's one major difference between being gay and being a sociopath.
Coming out as gay will probably get you laid.
haha. Don't get me started on "gay marriage" or marriage in general. Proof that most people are prostitutes in the fundamental sense, and most people will commit fraud or pretend to care about something like the ancient bond of marriage for something like wealth or status. It's like that new kid that gets picked on at first, then joins the "mean cool kids" only to assist them with picking on the next new kid. Weak-willed, impressionable drones.
DeleteIs she a murderer? Is she a child molester? To be a sociopath, is not a crime in itself. It higly depends on what she has done. If her big crime is to play the role she thinks her friends want her to play, I don't think she is going to be attacked. She will be rather an example of how a sociopath can be living between us without being a danger to us.
Delete:) Jessi, you're funny. You're coming short of understanding the nature of a sociopath. ME has been saying clear and loud, for all practical purposes in a relationship with a sociopath (and with her) you're an asset not a person and you'd better not become a non-paying asset. ME is not going to dedicate her life to prove you that she is no danger to you (meaning to people around her). I have not read your posts, so hard to know, but you seem to not have interacted with a few sociopathic individuals, especially those older than 30.
DeleteWhat is fascinating to me is that right from the beginning I thought ME was a she and referred to her as she and there were so many 'self-claimed sociopaths' here very sure of her being male. My point is society already is inclined to be harsher on women anyways, so it is a sure no no for her to come out. It would be great if we had a city for sociopaths, like San Francisco for gay people, where she'd be around her own kind, but you see sociopaths would not want to be gathering around their own kind. Oh, boy. Yeppp, definitely stay hidden socio lady.
She's no sociopath, she's a narcissist.
DeleteIf the book reviews don't make it clear that she's Vaknin 2.0 I don't know what to tell you.
How did you know she was a she from the beginning? I've read most, if not all of her posts, and I thought until recently that she did a decent job of remaining ambiguous about her sex. The book's not out yet, so I can only imagine that sex provides a necessary context for the book, and that's why she dropped the ambiguity.
DeleteIt's probably mostly a lie. She might not even be a 'she' at all.
DeleteYou've read all her posts? That's like 1000 posts at least. You must have been here a while, or are really bored.
DeleteHow do you distinguish between the two, Medusa? Perhaps it's easier for her to talk about her narcissistic side, because that's mostly internal, and there are likely many narcissists. I myself try not to go into too much detail about the things I do that involve lies and manipulation, because there's the off chance someone will connect my specific exploits with my identity. M.E. has put a lot of information out there, but she can't be too specific about things she's done that stem from her sociopathic nature, so we see mainly the narcissist.
DeleteThat's my speculation, anyways.
Read, skimmed, same difference. And I said most. Also, there are a lot of short ones. It's really not that difficult. I do the same thing with scientific papers, I've surely read hundreds, though maybe not thousands, and those are very technical and usually not all that related to my interests. I've also had many many months to do so in discrete chunks.
DeleteYou mean this site has very uncomplete content? Oooooh....
Delete"M.E. has put a lot of information out there, but she can't be too specific about things she's done that stem from her sociopathic nature, so we see mainly the narcissist."
DeleteRight, that's why at the end of the book she offers the reader to write to her and she will tell them who she really is. Nothing fishy going on there, oh no, not at all.
What, you think she simply wants to bask in the adulation of people who beg to know her identity, to satisfy her narcissistic desires? That's crazy!
DeleteWhat do you call the type of character assassination where you try to dissuade people from believing how evil someone is?
DeleteQuit licking girl dicks.
DeleteWhat do you call the kind of character that tries so hard to persuade people how evil they are?
She says at the end of the book she will provide her real information if you 'promise' not to reveal to anyone who she is... no one but a moron does that unless for ulterior motives.
I bet for the moron thing. I mean, to write that at the end.
DeleteDo I like you?
There is also such a thing as comorbidity...
Deletebut yeah she does seem to have ambivalent feelings when it comes to whether or not to remain covert with who(m)ever she is. (or he is)
Yeah yeah there's a justification for everything, right...
DeleteI'm not making justifications. I agreed with you that it is peculiar that she would allow for reader to know her. Only way that isn't what I think it is if it that is just a joke she plays. But since I haven't sought to know here I am inclined to believe the former.
DeleteI like having the tart talking Medusa back. I will even skewer a few commas for old times sake ~
DeleteYes but it's annoying when people argue for the sake of it when no one disagreed with them
DeleteI didn't read the whole interchange. I just saw Medusa being her acerbic self and I missed her( although she has been uber acerbic with me, at times, and if I could have put my hand through the computer, I would have strangled her)
DeleteChet, it was interesting what you said about marriage being prostitution. I've thought of that myself. It's a legal way for (stereotyping here) women to get money and for men to get sex, or for people to get other things from each other that they want or need. At the same time, when people are in love, they want to be with that other person for the rest of their lives and would be very sad to have to be apart and they will take care of the other even if the other person can't give them anything in return. So I can see it both ways.
DeleteI wanted to share some things that happened as a result of this interaction with Anon Ymous. You guys will die if I tell you who I thought it was. I was in la la land. People on here have too many multiple identities~
ReplyDeleteAt any rate, I did see that I have many layers. One is the layer of empathy. The other is a real jerk. One is heartless and cold. One is sweet and very tender. I had to give up all these dimensions to survive a mal narc mother.
From SW, I am beginning to claim each of them. I think Anon Ymous is not a tough ass sociopath, but a whiny little baby but that is not the point.
The point was that I thought he was real and in dealing with this, I saw my own layers of self. SW is all about knowing oneself, as we can be who we are here. That is rare and wonderful. We can also have boatloads of fun and that can be even better :D
If this is a place to talk about oneself you are definitely well placed.
DeleteI may have taken the game a little too far. I didn't really think 2-3 days of exchanges would cause you to have such a strong attachment. If you thought I was someone else who you cared about, that would explain why you reacted so strongly.
DeleteI don't deserve nearly as much credit for seduction, if 95% of that work had already been done for me. I really do need to be knocked off my high horse once in a while ;)
Yep, Quasi, the person whom I thought was you could seduce a hair net out of an old ladies hair without a sweat :D
DeleteI have very little experience :(
DeleteIt's no wonder I'm sad and alone ;)
LOL
DeleteAh, my good old friends, shame and fear, how good to have them back! I haven't felt this way since being under my old sociopath boss's thumb. I must be more narcissistic than I think I am!
DeleteWell, you can talk about it here and real talk is way better than tough ass fake talk xx
DeleteI've made a string of mistakes that if I were really smart, I would not have made. Actions have consequences, and I think I have a debt to you. Name it and I'll pay it.
DeleteI wish you had a debt to me...a $100 debt ha
DeleteIf that's what Monica wants, I'll pay it ;)
DeleteSo getting hurt is getting lucky. No wonder so many people are emotional masochists.
DeleteAwww Quasi
DeleteIt was me. I jumped to crazy conclusions but all's well that ends well. I learned a lot and changed. SW is great because there is no moderation, so things can play out. Debt absolved :D
Monica you could've taken the money and then wired it to me ugh
DeleteThanks Monica! Although I really would have given Chet $100 if you'd asked me to. I kind of like her anyways ;)
DeleteI guess it's good that I'm not such an awful bastard in real life. I'd have screwed myself over reeeeeaaal good.
Delete=D
DeleteLOL so cute what goes on here.
DeleteMy cat literally just picked up my fingernail clippers in her mouth and walked away with them, because I was playing with them.
Deleteyou all go for a second ride?
DeleteHe read the Bible in 5 days. He came here yesterday...
ReplyDeleteSceli, I don't think M.E. is a sociopath, in the posts I've red I don't see cruelty in her.
I would have prefered not to have ever met any sociopath at all. But at this point I think that he rathered crossed me than someone else because I'm not the forgiving type. We will both regret having crossed. That's as good as it gets.
Yes, Jessi, you will get him! You will show the world what he is and that he is wrong, and he will not hurt a nice girl like you ever again :)
DeleteI think you got again the wrong idea: I am not getting a revenge or saving the world here. It will just be: "look and see. What do you think?" Enlightenment is always good :)
Deletewhen you go after a sociopath it's only yourself you're trying to catch. he didn't take anything from you, but you've got an reflection of yourself. this cannot be unseen anymore. you gained one delusion less and the pain and shame that might come with this.
DeleteAt this time I am going to do my breakfast, when having
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Omg people stop saying borderline is the female sociopathy. That's such a huge misconception it is comical. You are referring to one v specific borderline when you say that. Empath right brain needy individuals are common borderlines too. It's a large spectrum much like the autism spectrum if you look at the huge difference either end of the scale you'll get me.
ReplyDeleteYeah my significant other is the introverted, yet hypersexual controlling in an oddly gentle/subtle way, and expresses emotions so vaguely that at times I perceive them incorrectly.
DeleteAnd in case there is any confusion, I don't mean its on the autism spectrum. I'm saying there are huge variations in how it manifests. The autism spectrum is similar in that there are extremes in the severity e.g. aspies their always going to have intense focus and special interests but they can still succeed in life. But some are so focused that they can't be distracted to learn language or whatever and that's autism. In BPD you could have someone dumb as a nail a total daydreamer and cries at the drop of a hat or you could have the "bitchy strong type" capable of manipulating people to cater to their demands. It really could be any one in your social circle. And ya "female socio" is just one of those very many different kinds of people.
Deletemaybe you should keep your true identity a secret, but you could still maintain the blog. I think anti-social personality disorder is something that the world needs to better understand, and I applaud your efforts.
ReplyDeleteBecause the admin of this site is working, no question very rapidly it will be well-known, due to its quality contents.
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M.E's book except is just riveting. I was transfixed. I can't wait to buy it!
ReplyDeleteHa, I just read it too. I can relate to the urge to do some of the things she talks about, but not to actually doing any of them.
DeleteYou are the shill in the forum eh
DeleteYes that seems to be an accurate assessment.
Deletethank you sw for good advice .
ReplyDeleteI closed the punani and tonight i dumped.
i laughed, i cried, i was better than cats.
It's always nice to meet someone who can appreciate the full breadth of your abilities. It can make you feel more... alive; that would be the best way I can put it.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it's a little narcissistic, but everyone in this world shares the same tendencies. That's why most people are so easy to fool; just pretend to appreciate and treasure their latent abilities (the ones they treasure the most), and you become their world.
But for those of us whose skill lies in using others' fears or desires to our advantage, our skills aren't often appreciated in the way we want. Take a daring and ambitious plot to seize your superior's position. Even after you succeed, it is like an ancient piece of artwork, locked away in in the deepest vaults of a museum. It cannot ever be taken into the light of day, because if you did, the conditions of the 'real' world would make it fall apart. Even so, we long to be able to share it with someone else who can appreciate it.
He was a narcissist. He tried to lie again, but i told him he could not with me, and i told him of the things i found snooping. It was laughable, the way he tried to dance around and lie again. He finally admitted to cheating in the past to make himself feel better about himself. He wanted me to stay. He tried to act with me, but he can never be as good an actress as i. It was pitiable.
DeleteAbot a week ago, I tried to sell him on my belief that my bipolar 1 is more manageable than bipolr 2. Can you imagine??? I was selling myself to this idiot bec he admitted my condition was a concern. My condition isn't a concern when he is fucking me or showing me off, or feeling fucking great when he's with me.
"pretend to appreciate and treasure their latent abilities (the ones they treasure the most), and you become their world."
I do this all the time. I am the narcissist's wet dream. with me, they feel like they can do anything. all of a sudden they fancy themselves a producer or a writer. I dont care for such power. I used to. But all it does is bind me to a needy person, craving me for supply. It was and will never about me. <Must be the draw for me.
I'm ok with this. once again, i feel like i can breathe after a break up.
New reverse breakup manipulation tactic:
Just tellem you're bipolar and leave lots of stories about us on their desktop. ..We're all animals who dont take our meds.. danger danger.
Good time, good riddance.
Sorry, Intimacy Anon xxx
ReplyDeletethank you, monica.
Deletei am ok with it. It was feeling charadey, and not in an enjoyable way.
He says it is the best relationship he ever had. I say it time to move forward bec my happy meter is under the line too often. I say it is a logical decision. he is an attny, he knows logic. Yet he banks on my emotions to make me stay.
...Do you know when a person tries to be dramatic, and is all trying to be romantic, pseudo begging you to stay?? - Feet spread, planted firmly on the ground, arms and chest strong with the eyes wide and locked on you, as if to force their deep feelings on you? It was so undeniably phony, i just kind of stared blankly.
He said, get this: I was the light in his life, the only thing that made him so happy. I told him if i had such a light i would cherish it with all my heart, i would water it every day, i would love it and hold it . I get loud with him for one second to say sthg, and i see his face light up. I almost laughed. These narcissists will just want to soak in all the passion they imagine that they make you feel.
*facepalm*
However, he did finally admit that he used women to boost him when he felt bad abt himself. <Now this enjoyed hearing. I say yes, i am not enough. He then tries to tell me how wonderful i am. I say i do not need that bec i already know. (He thinks bec HE likes to hear compliments like this that i would appreciate them.)
You know how it is when you are done with someone? It is a really beautiful thing.
I could be angelina` jolie withOUT the kids and he'd still be a bottomless pit.
omg i cannot believe i did the thing again. i did it again. the same thing. desperate trying to please a person incapable of finding me "enough."
Deletewhat a waste of an existence.
Hey Intimacy :)
DeleteThat's a good moment. The moment you look at the tin-plate marionette and see the strings and the pathetic man behind them. And you can look at him and say: play the stupid puppet again and he does. There is even some pity because, he is evil, but above all he is stupid, he thinks that to play a tin-plate marionette is a challenge. He is even too stupid to see that his tricks will just made all lose our time for nothing; he more than us, while he was faking life we were at least living it and now, we will go on, and continue living and loving, while he will just keep on playing the tin-plate marionette faking his whole existence.
If you reach the point of spotting the marionette, and even make it play one or two tricks just for fun, more would be boring, the break up with a sociopath is one of the easiest. If that was ever Prince Charming, you know now you are leaving behind a stinky frog. People that have a problem breaking with a sociopath have an issue with denial.
Congrats, it was definitely for the best :) Good luck with the next! Make the test of the frog! And do a social service and expose him, it's even fun.
Jessi
Thank you for your encouragement Jessie. He is not a sociopath. He's a common narcissist who thrives on people telling him how smart and roguish he is. He laid upside down on his sofa whilst we were wrapping up the break up, pondering himself. He's just a player, that's all. A player's claim to fame is that they make you feel good in the sac. That's all they really concentrate on in life. He is a seducer just like me and we both have sex on the brain.
DeleteI am a phony too, Jessie. I try really hard, but one day I love, the next day I devalue. I cannot spend more than 2 days per week with someone. I get very antsy. I dont want tobe loved because i feel smothered, and yet i need it very badly. I chose him. I hoped, and that is my bad, not only his.
I am happy i made decision to leave, but i am very sad and will miss him . Not just bec of the sex. I dont talk about the good things.
I think there are plenty of partially narcissistic people out there who are lovable. When I see the little baby in them and I see myself as also just a poor little baby, we want to heal one another. This is very difficult and nearly impossible for the one who is unaware. You cannot tell them they are weak. His ex points it out but he did never want me to see. i did not confront him. It is rude, unless you are a parent. I do not need a parent, nor do I need to parent any adult male.
Im so sick of childish men and here i am, a grown woman, still with daddy issues... who am i to point fingers?
I send mixed messages. It takes 2, Jessie. In the end i admitted had he thrown his children at me and was eager eager eager to put me with them, i'd have felt suffocated.. his response? "good to know." I am a bit responsible, you see. For lying. I am a liar to myself and a liar . I seduce and i want to have. I change my mind. I get scared . I am a hypocrite too. Just differently than he.
I devalue all boyfriends at some point, while hanging in there. It's disgusting.
Yeah, I got rid of this one, but only because he cheated.
I'd have become dissatisfied and devalued him as well.
No one knows this about me. They think i am victim. Yes, sure, but It is only partially true. tbh, i would only wish myself on a pig. a nice man i will eat alive.
no, i am way hard on myself. i am more genuine than i say. i can say all the truth, and unfortunately i self destructive. i dont play good game because i want them to love me even with my topsey turvey.
DeleteTHis is a tall order.
he digs his own grave, Jessie. he needs no exposure. You give em rope , they hang. Period.
DeleteDo you think society will ever be cool with sociopaths? They haven't accepted us for the last few thousand years and have demonized us all throughout literature and religion. I don't think we'll ever be fine to say it aloud, and that is completely fine with me. I'd rather not have everyone I know know that I'm a sociopath.
ReplyDeleteWe are already cool with you (we even gave you a disorder type to be seen as a victim of your health!!) it's your manners what we disapprove. Nothing personal, we don't accept those methods on anyone else.
DeleteJessi
I read your blog so I know 20%. and I'm your student. What % is that? I'm a pathological liar. Is that another way of saying sociopath?
ReplyDelete