First of all great blog. I really like that you don't talk about sociopathy, but through it. I find it similar to reading for example Nietzsche - nothing new, but if I find it HERE people must see it differently, it's funny how blind they are.
Moving to main part of this email I feel, that I will screw English terribly ;) If you want to publish it feel free to fix anything that sounds really bad.
I'd like to ask, what would you consider me to be. I tried tests – I always score full points on “lack of feelings and machiavelism” scale while having average score on aggression. On PCL-R I get about 17.
Where to start...
Maybe with what I'm not. I don't like killing animals and never did. Ants, some frogs etc, but not mammals. I don't commit crimes on daily basis and I'm not impulsive. I cheat in any way available and I find it enjoyable, but I didn't steal for fun or anything like it. When I had to fight few times in my life I just turned off anything but anger, so I could aim for eyes and veins, but I it was always a choice and I could stop at any point. I also wouldn’t say I’m fearless, I know that emotion pretty well. That will be it about being normal.
I’m narcissist, but I work on it. It’s like drug and I don’t like anything to control me. I guess you know that nice feeling, when people say how they think, that they know you really well, when they only know mask – or even better feeling, when they tell you, how they can see through your mask and describe another mask as “real you” ;) But the drug part is the only thing that I fight with. I feel better, I don’t think about “difficulty level” when I choose goals and so on.
I play with people. I see them like they were sets of algorithms. I read “Influence” by Cialdini when I was 8-10 year old and I never stopped learning psychology from that point (I’m 21 now). I always could easily imagine how to break someone or how to help him evolve and I find both ways enjoyable – what I care about is how good am I with it. And I am pretty good ;).
I don’t think there is any “real me” behind all that games.
I never felt remorse. I also didn’t feel love, attachment or friendship and I don’t think I fully believe these are real things like people describe them. I know it on cognitive level, that they exist but I just feel like it was some fake. I know happiness, anger, some lust, sorrow(and I think it’s nice),fear/anxiety and flow. Actually, I heard few times that people find it hard to imagine me in any other mood then happy.
I’m also pretty smart. I like math, physics or philosophy and can understand them as well as I can remember lots of biological stuff. At the moment I study three full courses and it’s just fine. I even prefer when I have more to do and I find time pressure fun.
Opinions?
P.S.
There is a book “Psychopaths among us” by Hare. Nothing spectacular, but read part about successful sociopaths. There is also “Time Paradox” by Zimbardo. Basing on what you wrote about your analogy-based world perception I think you will find connecting those ideas enjoyable
While I was searching on the net I came across your website and I found most interesting to read. The language used in the articles is easily understood. I will continue to make use of this site in my future also.
ReplyDeleteoh a newbie
Deletecan i fuck him/her?
or is ME 1st
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DeleteSure Anon 5:08.
DeleteFeel free to spam all over his folder.
Don't take your defination of yourself from what others call you.
ReplyDeleteThe word is never the percise description of the thing. It's just an
inexact, societal-agreed-upon label that people use.
For example the word "tree" is NOT what that object is. It's an agreed upon
description of the object. You have to learn to see something without the
baggage and imposition of words.
Don't be so conserned with cataglorising. What you truly are can't be
described with words. You are an evolving life force contained in a changing
human body. Nothing is set in stone. When bedeviled by negative feelings
be they angar, hatred, hostility, sadness, self pity remember that these
are only PASSING states of mind like the clouds blown by the wind.
Here's what you do:
1) Come to the internal consesis that ALL negativity is worng. Contary
to popular belief, your upset is NOT over what's "out there" but your
accquired reaction to the provacation. "How dare you insult my religion!"
2) When negativity DOES araise make no effert to fight or repress the
feeling but be aware of the feeling. Just look at it impartially. Neither
add or subtract from it. If you feel sadness don't repress crying BUT
if you REALLY know deep inside that tears are wasted water the sad state
will depart fairly quickly. You must bear in mind that nothing "out there" has any power at all to upset you. IT'S YOU'RE REACTION to the
offensive event.
There is one cavet however. People have an instincual fear of death.
If a person has reason to believe that their life is an immenate danger
the adrenalin will race and they will become upset. You have to learn
to differenciate between an authentic threat and an imaginary one.
There was a song many years ago called "Killing Me Softly With His Song."
It was about a woman who went to a nightclub who was embarassed by being
singled out. She felt all the physicalogical symtpoms of immeanant death.
Being shamed is not the same thing as being killed, so unless you watch
your reaction you won't know the difference.
If we're considering this person sociopath-like, then it might be better to consider sociopathy not as a spectrum, but more as a grab bag. Different people have discrete chunks of personality attributes, and they seem to be able to pick and choose what's in their bag of tricks depending on their situation, cultural expectations, or personal aptitudes.
ReplyDeleteLike ADHD
DeleteDear M.E.,
ReplyDeleteI just finished reading a book that I think you should be aware of.
It's called "DR. FEELGOOD," by Richard A. Lertzman and William J. Birnes.
It's about a quack sociopathic doctor who invented a meth drug cocktale
he used to inject some of the most important people of our time to turn
them into addle brained addicts. You won't believe the who's who of who
this man influenced and how high a sociopaths influence can reach.
8 responses ?
ReplyDeletewhat the fuck has happened to the sociopathic blog slow death seems a sad way to end it in my opinion
m.e u think getting the few charity and or mental cases do all the posting in ur blog is going to raise the standards ?
ReplyDeleteits gonna be dead in a month
Way to raise the standard, champ.
Deletemy account was banned and i was told never to come back because i dont meet the sociopath blog standards
ReplyDeletehow fucked up is that ?
in answer to the original question and 99 % of every guy who writes in this site
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many answers to ur angst is found right there
there is great wisdom in the end if u get that far :
ReplyDelete"Being a man means engaging with the world as it really is."
but by all means escape into the fantasy world where ur hannibal lecter and dexter morgan if thats what prevents u from killing ur self
every 1 needs a little fantasy
Did it work for you?
DeleteGreat blog and particularly liked this post because I, too, am confused as to exactly where my character fits
ReplyDeleteFriends would describe me as outgoing, kind and very generous yet I know that I am selfish beyond words and am often carry out tiny acts of cruelty for my own amusement. However, I could never phyically hurt anything - human or creature. I have never struck a blow in anger
I am highly regarded in a profession where honesty and integrity is essential, yet I lie, cheat and steal without compunction
I have been married many years and am regarded as a devoted husband and father, but have led a recklessly libertine lifestyle and have seduced countless women and many men into having sex with me
Am I capable of love? I certainly have feelings for people but only in so far as it suits me to have them. I remember well being extremely angry when ,y sister was involved in a serious accident and I was called to her bedside because it was thought highly unlinkey she would survive. My anger arose because I had spent the day preparing for the seduction of a young girl that evening and my plans were ruined by the accident
I have never suffered grief at the bereavement of any family member whatsoever, and this is something I have had to feign on numerous occasions
So ... sociopath or psychopath?
You just sound confused to me. Maybe a Narcissist
DeleteYou would know that, wouldn't you sevvack khan? You're also a narcissist.
DeleteAll those posters who ask "who am I" questions -you'll figure it out yourself if you keep asking yourself, and the journey can be fun.
ReplyDeleteMy only advice would be to never take a decision based on assuming you'll change.
After closely reading this post and considering it I can certainly say that you are. You are stupid, average and illiterate. Next email plz...
ReplyDeleteSometimes I come on this website to see what it's like after the book got published. Always the same, a bunch of moronic new people and absolutely no intelligent discussion. What a shame.
ReplyDeleteAnd so the blog slowly dies.