Dear M.E.,
I am a journalist in the Washington, D.C. area planning to pitch a story to [a women's magazine about sociopathy. To prepare a good pitch I need to find several people under the age of 30 (the [magazine] demographic) who have had some sort of relationship with a sociopath.
In addition, I also need to compile a list of potential sources and interviewees for such a piece.
Since you have an online community on the topic, I suspect you probably receive many e-mails from both victims of sociopathy and sociopaths themselves. Would you be able to connect me with some of the victims (preferably women under 30) who have interesting stories to tell? Perhaps someone who was in a committed relationship with a sociopath?
Many thanks!
If you are either a female sociopath or a female victim of a sociopath, preferably under 30, let me know and I'll forward your email on to the journalist.
What's the magazine?
ReplyDeleteit's playboy. dafuq do you care?
DeleteNational Enquirer? They have Tom Cruise on the cover of the next issue. Sociopath or narcissist, let's ask Katie Holmes.
ReplyDeleteWomen! Women! Women!
ReplyDeleteALL are obvious "Damsels in distress!" It's appearent they are
ALL victims and can do NO wrong.
If I had a nickel for every woman that did me dirt, I could open up a
sand mine.
Today's woman has no ability to think for herself. She is just a
mindless automoton, blindly following popular culture. Pound for
pound, she is every bit as ruthless and preditory as a man!
Nothing changes, except the names! In 2114-if we get that far-
hack writers will STILL send out pitiful feelers requesting info on
how monsterious men hurt poor little damsels.
Anon 3:45
ReplyDeleteHey! I'm no damsel in distress and I can think for myself damn well. No ones a saint in sure everyone has fucked someone over. As for the bad P.R for men, I'm pretty sure, most, women don't ask for those stories to be published. They do it cause they know the saps who buy that pitiful magazine will eat the article up. If you don't like how men are portrayed change it.
I wonder if the magazine is going to jump on the bandwagon and criticize us? Hmmmmmm, nah of course not.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure it's going to be about sociopaths who volunteer at nursing homes, foster injured stray dogs, collect clothing for the homeless, and ring bells for the Salvation Army at Christmas time.
DeleteMelissaR
Hopefully it will be an intelligently written article with some information that is helpful.
ReplyDeleteIf it's written for a mainstream magazine it will be written for a 5th grade reading level and over dramatized. Sorry!
DeleteMelissaR
Again, a magazine that focuses on male socipaths only. Stupid them. I am a 37 y.o. French guy and just had a very bad experience with a 25 y.o. female sociopath. Hopefully, I have been much stronger than her in the end. She lied to so many people and I spoke to so many of them that she finally stood naked in the middle of all her lies. She must be hating me now. At the same time, I am sure she is still trying to get me back, not me, but her influence on me.
ReplyDeletehey french guy, it sounds like she still has some influence on you. focus on what you want from life. if she is an obstacle move her out of the way, if not just forget her. she's a waste of emotions.
DeleteHi zoe. You are right. The fact is hat I am still trying to understand her behaviour. I just finished the book from M.E. Thomas and things are much more clearer to me now, but I just cannot accept that some people behave and think like this. I wish I had known about sociopathy before. See, the first thing I told her was "I am sure you drove a lot of men completely mad". And one of the first things she told me was "you'll soon discover that loving me is a bad idea". Both of us were right. Waste of emotions, but a rich experience. But you are right ,I am undergoing a kind of Stockholm syndrom. Did you suffer from a sociopath yourself ?
DeleteI'd say it takes about 7 or 8 months to move on with your life. It will all be a dim memory before you know it.
ReplyDeleteWell, I see her everyday at work, so things may take a little bit longer ...
DeleteOooops...either she needs to change jobs or you do!
DeleteWoman who have been committed relationship with a sociopath? Sounds familiar :)
ReplyDeleteAs I pretty keen that we share as much as possible our experiences, you can give him my contact.
For the anonymous male who have been hurt by sociopath females, here are 3 advices you are free to do whatever you want with:
1 - Do not take it personally if usually the predator is recognised as male and the victime as female. It's because, statistically speaking it is mostly the case.
Nobody deny the fact that a man can be victim of a woman.
2 - Do not stereotype the whole women population base on punctual bad experiences, it is pretty offending and incredibly pointless as it's incorrect (with this logic then we could say that all men are sociopaths and potential rapist... charming, right?).
Also could be pretty counter-productive, you might afraid a lot of loving and caring women by your bitterness.
They are a small % of the population, that leaves a lot of opportunities.
Though keep in mind, that even not being sociopath, many people carry heavy emotional luggage, as you do. Avoid being judgemental.
3 - Even if not asked, you should ask the journalist to hear you. As your story is less common (victim of woman sociopath) it might convince him to take a closer look at it.
OK, a last one for the road :)
I know how to well how it can drive crazy to try to understand "why" and "how" after such relationships. You're out of it and it still have affect on your daily emotions and you're still trying to find an explanation or excuse, projecting your own feelings and emotions. Even if you read about sociopathy, you still trying to find some meaning based on your values.
Key is: acceptance. Accept that we're different, that we don't feel the same, that there's not much to do about it, that it wasn't love, not as you define it anyway, and finally that it's not about "you", personally speaking.
A sociopath could almost sincerely answer "It's been you, it could have been someone else, but it's been you. No harsh feelings."
It makes it easier to let go, take care of yourselves :)
Precision: "They are a small % of the population" I'm talking about socio/psycho/narc of course :)
DeleteHi ! Thanks for your message. It is just that I wonder whether she is a sociopath or something else. Two things do not match a sociopath profile. First, we have been dating for 6 months and she always managed not to have sex. She is 25 and although she wanted skin contact I always had the feeling to kiss an iceberg. She talks about sex a lot, always in a provocative way with her friends, but she seems to have a very boring sexual life. I think she tells story to everyone, just to make people think she has a tremendous sexual life. Second, she is incapable of taking a decision, and when others do, she is always very critical. You need to know that I am married and that she has a boyfriend. In the end I even went ot see his boyfriend to open his eyes. I have been told that this guy shakes with fear whenever he receives a phonecall or sms from her. I was close to becoming like him. In the begining, she would confess that she is harsh with everyone, not only with me, later on her strategy became different : everything was my fault. We split ten times, and I always had to take the decision, but she always succeeded in having me back, saying she would make efforts to change. But again, no sex, no love, no gentle words, nothing. I have a nice family life, a nice wife, nice children, nice job, and she is still with her boyfriend that she doesn't love. I am not sure she is a sociopath. She never gives anything to any one, she only takes whatever there is to take. From the beginning I had the feeling to be in front of a black hole, or a vampire, that is why I think she has socopath tendency. Maybe a mixture of a sociopath and an asexual / lesbian. Well, poor her. And poor me who thought I would be the one to make her enjoy life and love. Sorry for my bad english, I hope you understand me. Enjoy your day, the sun is shining over here in France :-)
DeleteI understand you very well, no worries :)
DeleteI'm not a psychologist, and certainly not an expert. I'm just off a relationship with a sociopath, started to realise what it means, what they are, what I am, and dived deeply in research on the topic and there is a big need to do it meticulously as there are many confusions, and people who have their own interpretation (or wish of reality?).
But for what you say, I don't think she is not a sociopath. Sociopath can be different of course, but there is a classic similar and repetitive pattern, and she doesn't look to fit the profile.
Maybe a narcissist? Or maybe someone normal which have to deal with a lot of issues on their own (and a lot of women have intimacy issues, for a lot of reasons, especially when they are young, so I'd not focus that much on it)
Anger and destructive behaviour is not the characteristic of sociopaths only, it's also a common trait shared by a lot of people who doesn't know how to deal with their pain.
It could seem relieving for you to understand what she is and why she behave this way, but would it change anything at the end?
Maybe unconsciously you think that if you understand her you could react appropriately to actually help her.
But the question I think you should maybe focus on is: if you have a nice family, wife, children, why have been attracted to her at the first place?
If she only takes, why do you give?
There is certainly something to dig here.
Learning about others is important, but not as much as learning about yourself.
No need to blame yourself (blaming yourself or others is an incredibly waste of time and energy :) ), but if you never really understand why she is the way she is, understanding yourself might be a good way to process the end of the relationship and leave it behind you.
Enjoy the sunny weekend ;)
Thanks for taking time to reply. I consider she is a sociopath because I see her manipulate people to get what they can give, she has no empathy at all, she wants people but does not want to know much about them, she wants to get but not to give. The only emotion she is able to show is anger. Her vision of the world is black or white, no shades of grey. She said she had to love me or to hate me, and she copes better with anger than with love, although I see she feels bad now that I have broken (not because we have broken, but because I have broken). Enjoy your week-end too. I hope you are going well, although I know that sharing love with a sociopath of leads to a Stockholm syndrom and that it takes times. Cheers, Arnaud.
Deletemagicchiomi@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteI am 27 year old lesbian who is black,puerto rican and japanese.
I live in Santa Monica/San Francisco
Also a mother of two.
Very much a sociopath
feel free to give her my email
-Nina
I am feeling neglected. I am a very shy, introverted borderline (something or other, but not good) heterosexual male. When I was in my 30s, a (probably) sociopath woman tried to seduce me (just for kicks, I presume). I was too "chicken" 90% and wary 10% to fall into her clutches. When I was in my 60s, I was hired by a "world class" or so they described themelves public library and harassed by a female sociopath near the top of the institutional food chain. Why? Libraries are mostly run by women; I blend in; nobody cares if beat up on men. A few years after I retired I saw a staff member I knew. I asked, "How is Holly K doing these days." He replied, "You mean the wicked witch of the West?" I've sent some flying monkeys afterher with orders to torture her, but mythical creatures are not what they once were.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to say, I don't fit the demographic, so I don't qualify for the article. Age discrimination! Against senile "almost psychopaths).
ReplyDelete