A reader asked me, "I enjoy having power over people, and I think that this power will help me in life, however since it is important to me I worry about the possibility of losing it. What are some ways you have lost power or what are ways that I could end up losing power?"I responded: Interesting question. Probably the most common way for me to objectively lose power is to suffer some sort of defeat or loss, like an accident or getting fired, but usually those don't bother me too much. The losses of power that bother me more are the personal ones.
The most unpleasant loss of power to me is being rejected by someone as a despicable human being. I hate that, it makes me very very angry to the point of a violent all consuming rage, which is its own form of loss of power.
Another form is having an obsession or an itch that can't be scratched. There are a few people that have somehow planted themselves in my mind. To them, I am nothing. I don't even know how they got there in my mind, except that to some extent I invited them there. I wonder about them, what they think about, what they do. They are my playthings in a different way than most -- they're fun and interesting to me because they are *not* mine, and the game is to acquire them. It's not unpleasant, this feeling of obsession. It actually gives me some insight into how to do that to other people -- burrow my way into their minds and take up residence there. There have been times when the obsession starts to get out of control, though. If it gets bad enough, I have learned to talk myself down from the obsession by remembering that they are not really the person that exists in my mind, that I am really obsessed with a figment of my imagination that I have populated with the image of that person. So there's both control and powerlessness in an obsession. Have you seen the movie Vertigo? A delicious depiction of obsession, my favorite movie for how unapologetic it and the characters are about indulging their respective obsessions (and for Bernard Herrman's exquisite score).
This is like, my most favorite post ever, mostly for personal levels. Also the humility and honesty of it appeals to me.
ReplyDeleteThe most unpleasant loss of power to me is being rejected by someone as a despicable human being.
This explains so fucking much, and I find it surprising on a number levels.
Everything else I completely relate to myself.
*personal reasons, brain go bye bye
ReplyDeleteI suppose I find that bit surprising, because:
ReplyDelete1. I don't know what it's like to be seen as a despicable person. If I am I am not aware and no one has told me. Except for that one person who I see as a despicable person, who sees me as a despicable person, (or pretends to) because I see him (or pretend to) as a despicable person. And,
2. I'm surprised a sociopath would even care. Or am I?
I'm on a Grammar-B-Gone diet.
ReplyDeletelol!
ReplyDeleteA lost of power for me is when I want something that I know will potentially take more than what I have or am ready to give. Converting my obsessions into apathy is my holy grail.
ReplyDeleteMedusa is a stupid bitch, yeah she's a stupid bitch.
ReplyDeleteAll day posting around here showing that she's got nothing going on for her.
Stupid fat bitch. You can tell that she is fat by the way she posts.
Fat bitch Fat bitch Fat bitch
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSome of us who have that itch that needs to be scratched... well, sometimes it has to be. You can only talk yourself out if it so many times. I've been lucky enough to where it isn't a frequent occurrence, but it does happen.
ReplyDeleteThere are people that it is in your best interest not to be seen as despicable, and when that is irreconcilable, it is literally infuriating. Why? I don't know scientifically speaking, but yes, it is a loss of power, but most importantly, it is a loss of control that you valued and somehow let get fucked up, be it your mistake, or their cunning.
Breaking a toy happens, it is inevitable in any relationship with us that happens to be significant. Losing one because they find us despicable... It's as if the marionette looks up and sees the strings, cuts them, and runs away. How can you not be angry about that?
no it is: "loosing one because they do not like to suffer". It is not about finding YOU despicable, sorry narcissist.
DeleteBlogger Medusa said...
ReplyDeleteI'm on a Grammar-B-Gone diet.
April 21, 2011 1:41 AM
That's a very healthy diet. Grammer nazi's are meant to be humiliated in public IRL.
wv: bitings
I don't mind when people hate me unless it fucks up something i'm trying to do. I just move on, I'm not going stick around and deal with their shit when I don't have. But there's nothing like the feeling you get when you walk into a room full of people that hate you. I've been in situations like that and It's like a new kind of high.
ReplyDeleteMisanthrope, that's pretty much the response I would have expected around here to being hated. Hence my surprise at people getting all ragey and weakened.
ReplyDeleteNotable is scared of spiders.
I'm obsessed with obsession: unsated longing running under the skin of things. Life thins out and reality shrinks to the sublime. It's a necessary illusion without which life is unbearable, but the minds turnings can spin out of control.
ReplyDeleteTHEY NEED TO DIE!
ReplyDeleteFUCK THOSE DUDES!
Sometimes I am vilified, which does not bother me if the accusers are naive and judgemental. Sometimes I play the scapegoat with a smile. Many friends come to me when in an amoral dilemma and need to see a different angle on their situation. And example of this is friends who have left or have been booted out of cults. I find cults fascinating webs of power and its fun to deprogram people. The projection spears from these organizational minds I find quite delicious.
ReplyDeleteRegarding being stung . . .
ReplyDeleteOn a personal level, I surround myself with trusted companions who carry a similar wiring. I have been stung yet I learn from them. Powerlessness can be quite an education.
Quote from post . . . . "So there's both control and powerlessness in an obsession."
Obsession is like breathing to me. Not unpleasant at all. I enjoy the mental burn.
I don't think ME was commenting on not liking being despised by 'people who don't matter', that was sort of the point. I find it surprising that some of you lacked the insight to realize this, unless you were just covering your bases.
ReplyDeleteI am not afraid of spiders.
ReplyDeleteAnd I would never set myself in a situation of being despised by people who mattered, unless it served.
M.E. didn't qualify whether he meant 'people that matter' or just anyone.
ReplyDeleteI like spiders. They are the least rude of indoor insects.
I think there is an agreed upon universally shared trait in this cyber tinsel town . . .
ReplyDeleteOBSESSION! OBSESSION! OBSESSION! OBSESSION!
Think about it . . . covers all the bases. OPD
(Obsessional Personality Drive)
I kill every insect i see, without remorse.
ReplyDelete"But there's nothing like the feeling you get when you walk into a room full of people that hate you. I've been in situations like that and It's like a new kind of high."
ReplyDeleteReally? I wouldn't know.
Let me clarify.
ReplyDeleteI let some spiders live in my house. They eat the other bugs.
Spiders crawling on my goddamn bed and then disappearing right before I fall asleep makes me uneasy >.>
I don't think they're technically arachnids, but I like Daddy Longlegs. They aren't venomous and I've seen them kill the shit out of other bugs/spiders. Scrappy little bastards have moxy.
Congratulations of being awesome and never screwing up, Soulfulpath, you're a proper inspiration.
i guessed my friends email passwords by thinking how they thinked and read their emails for a few years every day lol and they didn't know but eventually I had to change the passwords to something I couldn't know so I couldn't read them any more and they got locked out aswell. They turned out to be really very boring people which ended that obsession and then i found emails when they were talking about me and how they thought i was a loser so i posted their phone numbers on sex sites. lmfao i was there when they called. Then I got obsessed with a girl and I didn't know her but I couldn't stop thinking about her every day and I had to see her every day at school too. so I tried to act less friendly to her to cool it and she got real mad thinking I was hating on her and told the teacher and we had to sit and talk about why I was bullying her with the silent treatment to the principal and I hated the girl so much for hating on me just for trying to get over her that I spread rumours she was a slut. I am now obsessed with my dog and winning the dog shows she is in.
ReplyDeleteI'm terrified of spiders too, any time i see one I smash it, If I let one get away before bed then I'm up for the night. :(
ReplyDeleteI squashed the bastard eventually. He crawled on top of my pillow.
ReplyDeleteNarcissism test
ReplyDeleteDr. Drew's Narcissism Test: website
ReplyDeleteSpam filter here sucks third try. Dr Drew's Narcissism test: http://www.0eb.com/
ReplyDeleteLMFAO
ReplyDeleteThat's almost irony, but I know this damn filter can be annoying. Bit me in the ass last night with a post that had an embedded link.
ReplyDeleteNote, did the spider bite you in the ass too?
ReplyDeleteI hate spiders. Really, they creep me the hell out. Whenever I see one I won't rest till it's evacuated somehow or destroyed.
They always look like they're about to leap or fall right onto you. I'm a cruel fascist when it comes to them.
I'm a total lame-o when it comes to creepy-crawlies.
Being hated is a constant state for me. It's always been that way for as long as I can remember. It feels like home. I must agree with M.E. on the fact of walking into a room where everyone hates you is exhilarating. All eyes locked on you with chins set hard.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to get you a pet tarantula note.
That was Misanthrope, not ME, Kesu.
ReplyDeleteBeing hated by everyone... I don't know that feeling. I've charmed my way out of most BS, or gotten the hell out of there before it was too late. Being feared by people, well that's a different story. I've gotten the rap for being a psycho plenty of times, rightly so. Being feared does have its consequences though.
I'm not at all opposed to pet *anything* for the most part. Just don't be surprised if I forget to feed it. I tend to do that. =/
And no, notme, I didn't get bit!
"Being hated is a constant state for me"
ReplyDeleteno shit.
kasu is a half autistic douche not a socio hes just lame and boring. everyone hates you for a reason
ReplyDeleteYour score is
ReplyDelete37
Maximum is 40. Average for Americans is 15. Highest tested celebrity is Robin Quivers, with 34.
I only got 27!
ReplyDeleteDamn Adam, you really are more awesome than me. 10 points more awesome, in fact.
Shit, better make that 26, I'm acting all modest.
i will say that i have a way of dealing with some things.
ReplyDeleteDespite living in the countryside most my life i've never been stung by a wasp. I tend to divide the world into two types, those who flail like idiots and panic when they see a wasp and those that calmly let the wasp wonder around them till it's ready to fly off again.
Seriously, who thinks it's smart to wollop a wasp only to complain when they get stung?
Don't worry they don't eat often throw a few flies in it's cage every month and it'll do the rest.
ReplyDeleteI've been mixing people up lately. Paying less attention I guess o well.
More anon rage. Bring it bitches.
@TNP... daddy longlegs are incredibly venemous, they just don't have mouths large enough to do anything to humans.
ReplyDeleteRoommate has 14 Tarantulas in her room. They're pretty nifty to look at, but I'd rather not having one disappearing into my bed.
Kesu, you totally just validated what those Anons were saying *chuckles* Silly boy.
ReplyDeleteNotme, I actually saw a kid get stung by a wasp right in the ear two days in a row. He was just minding his own business too (I was playing with him). Typically not smelling like a meatbag coated in fear and acting calmly will get you out of most wasp scenarios, but not always. After the second time, he stayed indoors for about a week :P
No Haven, they aren't. That's an urban myth.
ReplyDeleteThey aren't poisonous to humans. Really what makes a spider poisonous to humans is the length of its fang. It has to be long enough to make it through the outer layers of the skin. Daddy long legs are actually hunters of other spiders. That is why their legs are so long so they can raise the main portion of their body up then attack other spiders from the raised position.
ReplyDeleteYou are in a rather good mood today note.
ReplyDeleteI found a sociopath on eBay last night.
ReplyDeleteThat didn't come out how I meant, but it still works.
ReplyDeleteO.o WTF are they up for auction?
ReplyDeleteI dunno Note, maybe i just have a way with wasps. ;)
ReplyDeleteI got 16 on that test, but on the majority of the questions I would have selected 'sometimes this, sometimes that' but couldn't. Stupid test.
No, Kesu, you're wrong. None of the species associated with daddy longlegs have venom glands. You can check it out here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harvestman#Misconception
ReplyDeleteIt is a great spider hunter, though. I've seen one dismember the shit out of a spider quite a bit bigger. It skittered away on its last 5 and 1/2 legs left before it keeled over a few inches away from the web. Highly amusing.
Notme, you do seem to get along well with the nastiest insects around.
Huh you learn something new every day. Cool.
ReplyDeleteWhen you're young. Or stupid. Or both.
ReplyDeleteO please note. Are you trying to tell me you know everything. Excuse me while I take 10 minutes to laugh.
ReplyDeleteCompared to you? Definitely.
ReplyDeleteYou know everything compared to me... I don't think knowing everything is relative. You either know everything or you don't in this case you don't.
ReplyDeleteWay to completely fail at a simple example using relatives. I assumed you were smart enough to understand I didn't mean literally everything, but apparently you aren't, thus showing your general lack of actual intelligence which hardly bolsters your argument that you have knowledge on an equal level to mine.
ReplyDeleteYou just verified how little you know. Good job.
I said everything. It was a literal statement. Just because you want to twist things to your own purposes doesn't mean I have to wrap my statements to your warping design. Just because I won't play by your rules doesn't mean I don't understand the stage you try to set. I just won't fall for the ploy. I said it literally. I continued to play on the stage I set. My rules not yours.
ReplyDeleteAlso if you aren't progressing(such as learning something new) you are just decaying. Standing still is the same thing as falling behind.
Your defense is that you set rules with standards that are literally impossible? Good job! I see you've made some excellent leaps in logic and argument! Way to progress.
ReplyDeleteYou're learning a lot today, though, aren't you boy? Like a hungry little student with an empty head who can't keep his mouth shut. Maybe someday it will have something useful in it. Until then, we're forced to suffer your company. Maybe I'd be an ounce sympathetic to your plight if UKan and I didn't sniff you out for the phony you are when you first came around.
You're like one of those people B.A.M. talked about yesterday, except you aren't special or intelligent. You're just here.
Pity.
Plucked a nerve did I? The moment someone calls you out your answer is to call them stupid and false. The phony that I am pff. I've already told you there is nothing for me to fake. I have no care for a label. If it fits it fits if it doesn't it doesn't. The very things you called fake were truth. You can't see truth though because you've wrapped yourself in a blanket of lies that covers your eyes. Pity for you. Not for me. Remove your blinders. Sorry another impossible objective.
ReplyDeleteIf I am a student then my objective is very clear to me. Over take my teacher. However what you have to teach I have no want to learn. I have no need to incorporate things that weaken me.
drama queens, the lot of you. i'm glad i don't live with any of you. yes! im ignorant, yes! im poor, yes! i don't have a big ego, but i am happier than any of you will ever be!!
ReplyDelete*sigh* Martha and her LoveFraud mentality, you may be the opposite of us but trust me, you aren't happy.
ReplyDeleteWho doesn't like some drama? It is fun and entertaining. A good distraction. Everything is a game anyways. Life's very nature is competition. So which would you rather be the chased or the chaser.
ReplyDeleteNeither.
ReplyDeleteM.E.'s tweet
ReplyDelete"It's pleasurable for sociopaths to play other sociopaths, the most explosively pleasure in the world is to meet your match and win."
nice answer.
ReplyDelete@martha^
ReplyDeletePlace your bids now.
ReplyDeleteWell the only option left is the dead.
ReplyDeletebuyaprick.org
ReplyDeletenot many people have hated me. when they have there's been no going back...
ReplyDeleteand actually in one situation i delighted in making him hate me more and more, but never in any obvious way, and i always made a point of being magnanimous about him to mutual friends/acquaintances: "yeah he seems to have a problem with me, i don't know why, i think he's a great guy". that way he came off as the douche and wasn't invited out to the parties i went to.
Plucked a nerve? *laughs* I was playing you from the beginning and you were too dense to realize it.
ReplyDeleteOk ok, fine, you don't embrace Sociopath or Psychopath (anymore) but you still hold on so dearly to your Bi-Losing disorder. Take a little lithium to ease off the edge of those emotions you can't handle.
Your next lesson is to stop and think before you open your mouth. I already alluded to it beforehand, but you obviously missed the point.
ResCogitans, yeah I know exactly what you mean. Oh, does it infuriate them! They think they're the victim and everyone else just sees them as a jerk taking their crap out on you. Oh, I love it!
Bah. Of course it is a game. I enjoyed it. I even stated that everything is a game. So saying you played me is idiotic. It is just a pissing match. I had one with Medusa earlier. I'm sure we both enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteI still consider myself an S. Is that embracing it. No. I don't care whether I am or am not one but I certainly see myself as one. I will do what I do no matter what. Easy as said as done.
Stop playing the teacher. I'm certainly no chick under your wing.
Have a great day note. Can't wait until our next skirmish.
P.S. love the off hand compliments meant to belittle and give credit. They make me smile. You aren't going to slip something past me. Silly narcissist.
Kesu, I think if anyone needs faggot surgery, it's you. Full of crap. Or maybe you just need a laxative.
ReplyDeleteI know you think you are a worthy opponent, but you are not. It's like burning an ant with a magnifying glass.
what the fuck do you do exactly? we haven't heard much about that.
ReplyDelete@kes^
ReplyDeleteI burn ants with magnifying glasses.
ReplyDelete@Anon actually yes you have.
ReplyDelete@Medusa Funny I don't feel burnt, and you certainly don't look large to me.
Really? I thought I was an obese junkie slut.
ReplyDeletei haven't heard anything that indicates sociopathy, why not tell us a misanthrop/ukan style story, and then let us judge?
ReplyDeleteI spotted a young psychopath the other day, he was squashing a birds head with the front wheel of his bike, in a trance like state, then he turned to his friend, laughs hysterically and says look at the blood coming out, he reminded me of my younger days.
ReplyDeleteI've never seen you Medusa. I've certainly never called you that. If that is what you are then cool beans girly. Either way I don't know or care.
ReplyDeleteI've never read one of their stories. So I can't tell you if I have any like those. Point me in the direction of one.
Skirmish? Hahahahaha! It was less of a game and more you being target practice, just like you've been since you've come here. For the longest time I skipped almost everything you wrote until someone pointed out to me that you said something decent (must have been a fluke!), and now that I've been reading your comments, I've realized how much comedy gold I've been missing out on. Now that's a pity!
ReplyDeleteIt truly is a pity. Just glad you care enough to go back and read what I wrote. It is always nice to know how much I matter to you note.
ReplyDeleteKesu is soooooo murderable.
ReplyDeleteAt least UKan was fun to argue with. This is more like kicking a crippled, diabetic, toothless puppy. I can't imagine this elating me for long, but I'll enjoy it while I can.
ReplyDeleteyou didn't argue with ukan, you shut up when he spoke.
ReplyDeletemost blacks have low I.Q;Adam has lower I.Q than most blacks.
ReplyDeleteHas this happened to anyone? Being obsessed with a someone to the point that you still occupationally dream about him/her after only one brief conversation and not seeing him/her for 2 years?
ReplyDeleteyou sure do ask alot of questions wet.
ReplyDeleteYes Wet, obsessional objects are the best material for dreams. Also recurrent scenes and scenarios can be quite telling. I agree with all of today's post and the mention of inner mind games. Dreams are puzzle boxes which can be ignored, analysed, or just appreciated. Even a nightmare is exciting to process . . .
ReplyDeleteespecially the ones about obsessional love objects riding on giant spiders on their way to faggot surgery.
Wet, I get obsessed with people who remind me of significant others in my life who I have unfinished business with. My mind searches for someone to cling onto and settles on the first person I come across who feels familiar. It's never about them, no matter who I imagine they are, it's always about me. But I also get obsessed with people as puzzles, and the obsession ends when I answer my questions - which can be profound or urgent yet utterly banal - at which point I move onto a new enigma who is usually waiting in the wings.
ReplyDelete"Dreams are puzzle boxes..."
ReplyDeleteLucid dreams are also very useful tools for improving memory recall.
notme, get one of these:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efdzy1ssgSs&NR=1&feature=fvwp
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b010nvf9/Jon_Venables_What_Went_Wrong/
ReplyDeletethat link was from me ^.
ReplyDeleteI hope americans can view it too. It's bbc.
Anon, those are beautiful. Whatever I get, they need to be somewhat hardy. I don't have a catflap as i'll be on the second floor. I'm considering devising some zipwire-like mechanism that can transport them out my window down to the large communal garden. If they just learned how to fly that would be fucking ideal. :D
No one report me to the RSPCA please...
did i mention that our former persian cat killed my bootiful little budgie? Well, he did. He didn't even have the courtesy to eat her all up, just a cold-blooded murder. It was my mum's fault since i was away and she felt incredibly guilty. I hated my cat for about a week :( and then I felt bad for hating him.
ReplyDeletePoor kitty, he was just being a silly cat.
Anonymous at 7:27pm:
ReplyDeleteI can relate.
I have one burning question about a man whose name I don't know - and no, it's not what his name is.
A name is just a mere designation.
Will my question be answered?
I cannot know for sure but the incidental details have proven wonderfully serendipitous to a parallel quest of mine.
What is your question?
ReplyDeleteIf those committed to the quest fail, they will be forgiven. When lost, they will find another way. The moral imperative of humanism is the endeavor alone, whether successful or not, provided the effort is honorable and failure memorable.
ReplyDeleteE. O. Wilson
Oh, I couldn't possibly tell you.
ReplyDeleteIt would hamper my exploration of the patterns I see that others miss.
But thank you, SW Help Centre.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI saw your deleted comment, SoufulPath.
ReplyDeleteAnd no, no I won't tell.
Unravelling pieces of the man, spontaneously or otherwise, is delicious.
Why would I be careless with the joy of that?
Seems you have quite the appetite, dear trickster.
ReplyDeleteThe hunter is loose.
ReplyDeleteDo I get talked about a lot, or do I just pop up when someone says my name?
ReplyDeleteA despicable person, Medusa, is someone I see as so far below me that it is beneath me to even acknowledge them. I know what he means. The other day some pawn scum dope fiend asked me for a smoke and I was in a great mood. Usually I tell people, "Yah I have one but I don't hand them out." This time I gave one to this idiot. He looks at it and says, "A menthol? No thanks." You can guess what happened next.
This one time a few years back I was going to pitty fuck this girl. She had a crush on me previously and I ignored her. A while later she got in a relationship and fell out of it so she was sad. She needed it and I don't mind helping some people out if they look good. So we go out and have a good time. We get back to her place and she says she wants me to come in, but doesnt want to get hurt. Starts doing this wishy washy shit. In my mind she should have been rushing me in before I changed my mind. In fact she should have, because I started thinking she might be a clingy psycho bird and told her I would call her later.
People of smaller value always mess up their big shots at people that are worth something in their pathetic lives. That's why they are stuck at the bottom. People like me network. When we get someone of value we know just what to do.
why does sociapaths always like their dicks more than other peoples do?
ReplyDeleteHow come everytime you open your mouth you say something stupid?
ReplyDeleteWhy do certain anons always like to point out pseudo-facts about how pathetic sociopaths are?
ReplyDelete.....
I love the way you describe your anger when you get in those situations, M.E.. Ohh, yes, do I know what you're describing here.
And the 'Itch' - indeed, that too.
Though I'm usually in others' minds more than the other way around, but I have other 'itches', and since all itches itch, they're all bad.
Incredible how one can almost completely loose one's temper because of things that are really not that significant. And that happens to me especially during periods when I have an itch I can't get to get scratched.
It's horrible. And often it's probably worse for those around me than it is for me. Their pain (when it comes to that) lasts longer than my anger.
Personally I'm not very preoccupied with loosing power. I focus on gaining more. Always more, it's what drives me in every way. I wasn't always aware of this fact, but it's a good thing to know oneself (strengths and weaknesses, i.e.).
Ah yes, Bernard Herrman. He's definitely one of my favorite composers. :)
ReplyDeleteMedusa said...
ReplyDeleteI found a sociopath on eBay last night.
April 21, 2011 10:35 AM
Medusa said...
That didn't come out how I meant, but it still works.
April 21, 2011 10:36 AM
Wгite morе, thats all I haνe to ѕay. Literally, it seems
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ReplyDeleteIt's infuriating that M.E. is trapped at such a subserviant
ReplyDeletelevel while vermin who would cut your eyes out for a quarter
is flourishing!
M.E. should STOP doing this blog! Most of the people who post
here neither appreciate or deserve her!
Pipe down
DeleteI really do enjoy this site so much. Interesting blog post today (as always of course).
ReplyDeleteThis post made me realise something about myself. I crave power and control, in both my social and personal life. All of the careers I like are positions of extreme power over people and preferably with a large paycheck. My almost homicidal and violent rage flares up when I don't get what I want or when I am denied something I want.
ReplyDeleteGreatness/grandeur is a way of seeing and appreciating other people
ReplyDeletePerhaps the only thing worse than being "rejected by someone as a despicable human being" is being rejected by that someone who happens to be a minor authority figure who believes they have a moral imperative to use their minor power to marginalize you as much as possible.
ReplyDeleteDo hollow folks (or zodiac scorpios) really care enough about others so that their rejections or slander means much? Insults sure lead to anger, but so do traffic jams. Do they really care? A Scorpio brooding in black silence at home after some bum yelled "psycho!" after him on the street? Not likely. They-do-not-care-that-much-about-their-"fellow beings". Even if the whole town hated the scorp this would just strenghten his "world view" of society as a hostile place. It would not make him call a shrink. He would "bloom" in that climate, he would develop, so to speak. What really pisses these beings of is betrayal: being backstabbed by so called friends or associates, having rats and traitors around with glib talk & smiling faces. Just the thought of such things make scorps crazed with anger, almost like those riled cat videos showing "all out" clawing psychosis..
ReplyDeleteMR 18yr old socio
ReplyDeleteThe only way to lose power is to desperately seek it & believing it stems from external sources.
For example, if you want power to show off (your power would come from the attention of others), then showing off will keep you from such (they will then deny you their attention); if you want power to empower others (your power would come from 'helping others out', or have them depend on you), then the action will deprive you from your own power sooner or later (they will then seek to gain their own, with the possibilities you gifted them, ignoring you) ; if you want power for the sake of power (your power would come from becoming 'invincible' in a way), then it will be precisely the need of it which will destroy you (you will never feel safe enough or powerful enough).
It's a stratagem, some sort of scheme.
"The most unpleasant loss of power to me is being rejected by someone as a despicable human being. I hate that, it makes me very very angry to the point of a violent all consuming rage, which is its own form of loss of power."
Unlike M.E put it, power shouldn't derive from anything else but oneself. This feeling of 'powerlessness' M.E feels, is because her perception of her own power depends on another's perspective of her power. That's what she means with "The losses of power that bother me more are the personal ones", for she would've lost control of her self-perception due to another person disagreeing.
The moment she convinces herself & truly believes she's powerful, will be the day she manages to change everybody's mind into believing she indeed is powerful. How soon would that be?
The only way to be powerful is NOT HAVING your self-esteem, mood, beliefs, self-perception or goals SEEM AFFECTED by external circumstances or individuals. To be powerful is to have complete control over one's perspective. Power is to expect the unexpected & to do what everybody fears doing: to believe in yourself so much, everyone will start to as well.
“He who builds on the people, builds on the mud.”
― Niccolò Machiavelli, The Prince
"The most unpleasant loss of power to me is being rejected by someone as a despicable human being."
ReplyDeleteFor someone who supposedly lacks empathy:
1. How can you tell you are being rejected as "a despicable human being"? i.e. if you're color blind how can you tell if an apple is red or green?
2. Why does it matter?
MelissaR
i can't speak for others, but whenever people say that I am sick, or horrible or whatever other names it angers me. "Who are you to judge who I am? You use your emotions to judge others when emotion is a weakness on its own. You think you're so great and that everyone must follow your morals when you are nothing but just another weak individual at the bottom of the food chain" is what goes through my head. As egotistic as it sounds. I spend the extra effort to put on a mask to be the popular one, to be the nice person that people enjoy being around, yet you despise me for no logical reason (emotion to me is not logical).
Deletenot sure if I described it well..
MR 18yr old socio
DeleteYou did; & it still bothers me a bit too, but I don't plan on letting it bother me forever. Because it means that my mood has been altered by an external source, therefore, i'd be 'building on the mud' as Machiavelli would say.
I understand that what you mean with emotion is psychological hypersensitivity, & people tend to overlook the symptoms in seemingly 'normal' individuals who in reality have a condition as well.
That's why we dislike their hypocrisy when they could kill in the name of 'justice' or whatever, because they are being impulsive, passionate. & Obviously, we provoke the same response from them when we are being too cold, rational.
& As I mentioned in a previous post:
'I can logically appreciate that we are different, but none is superior. We may say they are inept because our abstraction is more developed than theirs, but they may say we are inept because their empathy is greater than ours. They don't consider us humans, but instead consider us monsters, because the word 'humane' is what we're usually not. We don't consider them rational, but instead consider them errors, because humans are biological machines that function and take action derived from logic & meditation instead of impulse and passion.'
I believe being too left-brained is as disadvantageous as being too impassioned because 'Being extremely skeptical can make you paranoid; being too judgmental can make you biased; being deliberately manipulative can turn you powerless; being clever can make you too smart for your own good; being emotionless can leave you dissatisfied.'
'Sociopathy makes us the best intellectuals, but the poorest humanitarians, so its not all that great. Intellect should be then used to improve our humaneness, which is what we lack.
It's only logical.'
& Well, in case we truly did improve our humaneness/sensibility (even if we're still mostly guided by logic): what could they ever possibly attack? I wonder.
Just do not let slip your mask.
ReplyDeletePower does not come from Control. Power comes from influence, or the ability to empower. Control is just a technique and not a very good one for exerting influence. People who try to control do so because they feel powerless. "Power to" is much more effective than "Power over". Would you come on over to this side? I'm trying, we could make a lot of money together.
ReplyDeleteWhat exactly do you mean? Are you suggesting that we give others power over themselves, and therefor give ourselves power over them?
DeleteCan anyone give me some insight as to why my sociopath/psychopath continues to be obsessed with me? I'm not sure which one he is, he obviously denies my labelling, he says I have him all wrong, but literally he is a text book case, step by step. What other mental disorder could he have if he has all the typical traits of sociopath/psychopath. Our rendezvous lasted a whole "6 weeks" he did the typical idealise, devalue and destroy, within the first wk of dating him I had already worked him out, so his games didn't work on me, I was prepared for them and his next moves. We recently met again 2 wks after his grand "finale" and he tried to pull off the same crap. The thing is I won I have him as putty in my hands right now, he's on trial now and may go to prison because he pushed me to limit, I wanted revenge. I lowered my standards and played him at his own game to make up for the hell he put me through. The thing is even through he's looking at going to prison he just doesn't seem to care, he obsesses about knowing how l feel about him, if I love him and do l think we can have a future together, he constantly tells me he loves me and says he won't find this connection with anyone else. I believe I'm the only person in his life that knows the real him, but how can he continue to obsess with me when I put him on trail and lied to the police about a crime he committed, why doesn't he concentrate on his life? He just can't seem to leave me alone, my rational mind knows he's no good for me and we'd never have a healthy relationship, but I have very deep feelings for him and I feel I'm obsessed with him also. Can someone please identify why his obsessions persists? Is it because I won and he couldn't break me? Does he find me sooooo interesting and entertaining even though he's on trail? I can't get me head around it.
ReplyDeleteI am going through something similar. Although, I did not put him in jail or anything that drastic, I ended things on my terms. I was caught off guard by the whole "idealize, devalue, discard" thing and he almost destroyed me. I had never experienced this, and knew I wasn't crazy. I knew that he was pulling something on me and I had no idea what or why.
DeleteThings kept getting worse and worse. He'd still come back and try to yank my chain, but the stakes always got less and less, as in, he wasn't being any nicer to me, he just wanted to get my attention so he could be MEANER to me. The more I was hurt by his words and actions, the more gleeful he was. I couldn't figure out WHY someone who didn't want me would keep coming back, trying to poke at me and hurt me. If he didn't like me, I didn't understand why he didn't just walk away.
After doing a ton of research, and actually finding THIS blog, I figured a lot of things out. And I ended things for good with him. I kept it as short and sweet as possible, but put back his own bad behavior on him, told him I no longer found this acceptable because of what it was doing to me, and told him I was done and I wanted him to leave me alone.
(After researching, that was the wrong thing to do, because a sociopath does not want to be called on their behavior or think anything is their fault, but MY self preservation took priority over his mind games! I was no longer concerned with if he was happy or if I was fulfilling his needs, I was trying to save myself.)
Now he's SUPER angry with me and obsessed with getting me (or rather, what i DID for him previously) back. Not that he wants to be nice or anything, but he's angry at me DESPITE how horribly he's treated me, that I no longer love him.
I think the reason he is angry and will not leave me alone is because I stopped the game. And he wasn't quite ready to stop. I think I took that "power" over the situation away from him by refusing to play. And that's what makes him SO angry and obsessive.
I don't get it. My mind doesn't work that way. He doesn't want ME. He doesn't love ME. He got off on the GAME. He got off on thinking he had power over me because I LOVED him.
Now that's gone and it wasn't on his terms. I had no idea where the game ended and had a feeling the final part of the game was to destroy me. To see me fall apart. I refuse to do that. When I get to that point with a person, I cut and run. I simply cannot allow myself to self-destruct for someone who has done so little for me and who has hurt me so terribly. And in his mind, that's unfair. I didn't let him finish the game. THAT'S why he can't let go.
Your man didn't get to finish his game on his terms.
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lol OMG, this sounds exactly as the sociopath I knew.
ReplyDeleteHe was obsessed with "having me" (gagged and bound in a relationship with him) and someday having sex with me- uhh that turned him on like nothing else.
I was smart enough to not let that happen- the hoovering and love bombing was intense and strange.
In the end he was really pissed off (i bet he still is) that he could not get what he wanted and as a person i really did not like him, so he quickly moved on to another unsuspecting supply that easily fell for his BS (which was probably a very boring hunt for him and he of course still hates her for being such easy prey ;-) ).
But he also almost had me believe his lies about his false self- thank god i just had this feeling that there was something "off" with him.
He was like a little boy looking for his perfect sexy mommy.
My intuition went off like a smoke detector. :-D
Im getting stalked at work by a sociopath. I noticed that she is one because she was able to match my stare. Im a zen buddhist and she is obsessively trying to get an emotional reaction out of me. Since im an instictive, primordial person, my insticnts told me to quit the job. Fuck that i read her mind better than she could read mine. But now she is pist off and trying to create lies and ruin my reputation. Oh well. I guess ill just meditate and do some moongazing.
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