Promiscuity I often wonder about. I do have someone I consider her important. I do look after her and I do feel happy when together. However, I'm unsure what I feel is it just sex i want. Control..? Maybe its just not being alone.. or all the above. I'm attracted to intelligent girls ( I have an intellectual vanity ) . Which she is, we debate and I find it pleasing. Before her I was in a relationship with a married woman. She was also very intelligent the thing is, she was a diagnosed Psychopath. I felt nothing for her husband, he is pathetic and weak I wanted to take her from him. I enjoyed exploring her mind, her limits as they say where the mask of sanity slips and I found it often. I do miss her, nothing more than to explore her pathology. Morality with sex is something I certainly lack. Its annoying to hide it to appear squeaky clean to the outside world which I do :) . The thing is, I have no issues with sleeping around, I have been in two relationships even with this current girl, In the beginning anyway. But I'm trying to be loyal but the only thing that keeps me in line.. is if i caught something.. I'd be discovered. Sometimes I wonder if maybe its loyalty because of obsession with her at this point in time. But than again as I type this I know I am trying to work my way into another girls life. Yes she is smart a trained Psychologist.. and taken too it seems but that's never bothered me before anyway.
I don't know what I am, I'm not like her the psychopath , her limits were obvious but I am not like everyone else either. Reading so much on psychopathy however, I am learning. No two are alike.
She was married purely to satisfy family. We were both attracted to each others intelligence. She was a Cardiologist and had formal training in Photography. We often discussed science and art/music. She preferred to be treated rough while having sex and was turned off when a partner showed 'weakness' This was a favorite term of hers often describing why she avoided showing / saying something as ' Not wanting to show weakness ' . I found she has more restrictive access to emotions than me. This often revealed itself when others were reacting to her with emotions or asked a question that required an emotion to answer ( how do you feel?, would be missed and answered with an incorrect, ' I feel hungry' ) She had a black and white way of thinking. About others lying, or things being 'weakness' were often overly simplified. I explored her fears. You see I do not know if I am a psychopath or not. Even now I do not know and as I learn more I swing one way or the other. Psychopaths are infamous for not having fear. I have experienced fear, I do not normally get it in situations others do, but I do experience it... therefore i must not be? But I discovered she did have a fear, of death. not others dying just her. Not even being alone. It was just a fear of non-existence.
It was a fear that seemed to haunt her always. She was an Atheist, like me. Lacking a belief in the existence of any deity or anything supernatural. Non-existence does not scare me. If I am bothered by as aspect it is being left alone as others pass, or the process that takes me to that point. I doubt it is ever pleasant. It is the only fear I could find. She was certainly a Socialized Psychopath and not really manipulative. I believe she would have been only moderate on the scale of things. When she became pregnant ( his not mine ) our time ended. I do miss her partly to explore her pathology. I'd find something and compare to myself, But now... I realize Psychopaths come in so many different shapes and sizes.. I'm back in the middle again. I'm not like her but I'm not like everyone else. This is where I am once again.
That was very interesting, thank you for indulging me :)
It sounds like her and I would get along beautifully. I would love to hear more about her, especially her black and white thinking and this contempt for weakness. I have been called an "extraordinary harsh judge" for those same traits.
I am paranoid and deconstruct almost everything, but am nonetheless highly rational. And I know exactly what you mean regarding death. I am an atheist and have no fear of non- existence either.
There is something else you mentioned. You said her husband was weak and she only married him to appease family. Yet she stayed with him and even had his child. Did she ever talk about why she chose to do so?
For that matter, how was her behaviour towards you? Did she lie, cheat, have rages...? Did she show you love? Affection?
As for you being a psychopath or not, does it really matter? You are clearly highly intelligent, rational and seem to be in control of your life. A rose by any other name...
Lying is a good example for her, a person has lied therefore they will always lie. She will cut them off from her life no matter how small or the reasons. Yes "extraordinary harsh judge" fits.
I had to be very careful I did not trigger this response and I admit a close call. But this is black and white thinking to me. I know people lie, even when they are unaware of it themselves. I think one of the few things that distinguish humanity from other animals is we can lie so well, we can fool ourselves. Since she had little understanding of emotional reactions in people, she was unable to see the gray area of lying. When its irrational and temporary when its a white lie etc. The irony of this which I find amusing is she was having an affair with me, the whole time. The ultimate lie?
Concerning her husband, he was a friend (hers). I suspect he did want her and was a normal person. She did not want children like me she felt they only get in the way an annoyance at best. But it seems it was a family pressure. So she did a logical thing and married her 'best' friend. He was the one who was trying for a child. I do not know why she stayed, he was a failure career wise, seemed to shift from one to the next. He had returned to university when I was with her, In his 40's I believe he will remain a career student on government support. Which is why I consider him weak. My only conclusion is family approved and perhaps stopped involving themselves as long as she was with him.
Infatuation with me would be a good description, intense and gradually winding down as she no doubt became bored with me, I would not be surprised if this was a typical pattern for her. I would not say she could 'love'. I tend to instead stay infatuated, and perhaps become too intense rather then become bored.
Her behavior was very logical, intelligent, It was very difficult to get her to become angry (Much easier then it is for me). Becoming very cold would be the closest to her being angry.
As to me being or not. It would be nice to know to label, So I can adapt more. Know your limitations I guess, I can see hers and her mask slipped often. But am I unaware of mine just as much as she was?. Does it show as often?
Thank you, I appreciate your honesty and indulging me. The more you tell me about her, the more interesting I find you both.
Reading that, I would have to disagree with those who say I am an extraordinarily harsh judge. I seem very lenient by comparison :)
Find it fascinating that she was so strongly against lying, yet not surprised by her hypocrisy. Though perhaps seeing her husband as weak was justification enough for her.
Personally, I fully expect people to lie. We all do it and society would fall apart without lies and masks. What I do not tolerate is when it's an obvious lie and they keep trying to weasel out of it when confronted. It's so weak.
And it's rather insulting when people keep telling me what I consider to be obvious lies. Makes me wonder: Do they think I'm stupid? Or do they think I should play along to please them?
Manipulation is something that I consider myself rather adept at spotting. Will sometimes go along with it, simply because it's easier for me, but only tolerate it to a point. After that, it tends to bring out the coldness (and sadism) in me.
I see your point about the labels. What is it about yourself that makes you consider the possibility of "sociopath" being the right one?
She was a change for me, I've never been like other people but we had so much in common. Thinking and opinion, I never met someone more like me before. My concept of Psychopath, and I'll make a correction here. Was the typical Anthony Hopkins cliche. So I ruled it out until I met her. As far as I know the words Psychopath and Sociopath are interchangeable and the only difference is the usage in differing health fields. However I know the word Psychopath has more of a cliche image than Sociopath. It seems on this blog people use Psychopath to refer to Low functioning violent types. While Sociopath refers to the Socialized Psychopath 'higher functioning'. I did not know of the existence of Socialized until I met one, It was in many ways a mirror. But a flawed one, I can do many things and experience many things she could not. Which is why I am undecided.
I take special pride in my ability to "profile" people. Take the "THEEE HEE HEE man." I'm assuming he IS male for a variety of reasons. And I think,in the past he has posted some very realevent statements. I believe he is an Englishman, and judging from when the posts are sent, with the different time zones, that proves it. It appears at one time he attempted to communicate in a normal way. I think he believes that M.E. is not a real sociopath, so perhaps he believes that this blog is fraudulent and that M.E. is perpetuating a scam on people or misrepresenting sociopathy in someway. Why he personally feels affronted is open to question. Did M.E. slight, or freeze him out in someway? What are his goals in being a pest? Why does he even log in here if he hates the blog so much? Of what importance IS this blog to him anyway? I'm presuming the gentleman is NOT an improvished man because he has acess to a computer and time to write his posts. What are the objectives of such infantile behavior? And why does no one but me comment? You would think that a real sociopath would have "bigger fish to fry." Is his objective to hurt M.E. and destroy her blog? Or, does he actually harbor some hidden NOBEL objective in his assult on the blog? Could he want the blog shut down to encourage M.E. to move on with her life, so she can find true happiness? Whatever his motivations he should be aware by now that they have not worked, any more then an annoying buzz fly on a hot summers day. M.E. and the blog will stay as long as she wants. Please go away.
Haha! Lord above, what a bunch of bullshit. You are seriously trying to sound clever and profile an internet troll? It takes more than an arrogant manner and watching some detective dramas to profile someone. Not to mention a hell of a lot more information.
A few points, Sherlock: Time zones don't mean squat. I personally have posted here at every time possible thanks to insomnia and an unpredictable schedule.
Not impoverished as he would have access to a computer and time to post? Seriously?Many a public library offers a free service and those without work have ample time on their hands.
Ever consider that there is no great super villainous plot? S/he could just be bored and decided to annoy people. Probably takes 5-10 minutes, but oh how it made people bitch and moan before. Hilarious :)
I am curious as all hell how you could possibly back up your claims. Have you gone scouring through the annals of SW to find all posts that could potentially be Vegie from the past year (at least)? Or... are you just being a pompous windbag? Come on, you can tell me.
There is always a reason. He just didn't want to tell you what it was. Or you were/are in denial...
Many, many men say those things to women they are dumping. "I love you in my own way, but we can't be together"... It works much better for avoiding tantrums and other bullshit than something more like "I don't give a fuck about you, never did. It was kinda fun in the beginning. Now you just annoy me. And if I hear you whinge one more time I am going to explode. So please, go die in the gutter." (No need to wonder why almost all my exes hate me, huh?)
Breaking up with you for reasons you don't see does not make him a sociopath.
Ha! But keep in mind this snowflake diagnosed her ex as a sociopath after he dumped her "for no reason". She could very well be an unbearably high maintenance bitch who expects life to be a chick flick, and he was just trying to spare her delicate ego (and his own sanity). So...more of a coward than douche :)
It's physically impossible for me to take any romantic relationship seriously. I think I may have in my teens, and up to about 21. I've considered recently however, trying to condition myself to be in some kind of long term relationship or even marriage for some financial security and comfort. I'm a professional, but my field doesn't always pay that well. The relationship wouldn't be based on romantic love, at least on my end, but I wouldn't want chaos in my home either. Just mutual respect.
whatever he was he sounds miserable, needy, and willing to prostitute himself for attention (if you are the highest or even only bidder, he is compelled to court you). I have dated men like this. I wouldn't call them sociopathic or borderline so much as exhausting and a waste of time. A man like that will suck you dry and then try to figure out a way to blame you for his unhappiness. You are better off without him.
Been there, done that... Many of those "bad boys" seem almost irresistible. They are dark, they are fun and they are so utterly tempting. Until you realise they are not "bad", just really weak.
TEEHEEEEE
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TEEHEEE TEEHEE TEEHEEE
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TEEHEEEE TEEHEEE
TEEHEEE TEEHEE TEEHEEE
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TEEHEEE TEEHEE TEEHEEE
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Promiscuity I often wonder about. I do have someone I consider her important. I do look after her and I do feel happy when together. However, I'm unsure what I feel is it just sex i want. Control..? Maybe its just not being alone.. or all the above. I'm attracted to intelligent girls ( I have an intellectual vanity ) . Which she is, we debate and I find it pleasing. Before her I was in a relationship with a married woman. She was also very intelligent the thing is, she was a diagnosed Psychopath. I felt nothing for her husband, he is pathetic and weak I wanted to take her from him. I enjoyed exploring her mind, her limits as they say where the mask of sanity slips and I found it often. I do miss her, nothing more than to explore her pathology. Morality with sex is something I certainly lack. Its annoying to hide it to appear squeaky clean to the outside world which I do :) . The thing is, I have no issues with sleeping around, I have been in two relationships even with this current girl, In the beginning anyway. But I'm trying to be loyal but the only thing that keeps me in line.. is if i caught something.. I'd be discovered. Sometimes I wonder if maybe its loyalty because of obsession with her at this point in time. But than again as I type this I know I am trying to work my way into another girls life. Yes she is smart a trained Psychologist.. and taken too it seems but that's never bothered me before anyway.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what I am, I'm not like her the psychopath , her limits were obvious but I am not like everyone else either. Reading so much on psychopathy however, I am learning. No two are alike.
I'm really curious about this married psychopath.
DeleteTell me more about her?
She was married purely to satisfy family. We were both attracted to each others intelligence. She was a Cardiologist and had formal training in Photography. We often discussed science and art/music. She preferred to be treated rough while having sex and was turned off when a partner showed 'weakness' This was a favorite term of hers often describing why she avoided showing / saying something as ' Not wanting to show weakness ' . I found she has more restrictive access to emotions than me. This often revealed itself when others were reacting to her with emotions or asked a question that required an emotion to answer ( how do you feel?, would be missed and answered with an incorrect, ' I feel hungry' ) She had a black and white way of thinking. About others lying, or things being 'weakness' were often overly simplified. I explored her fears. You see I do not know if I am a psychopath or not. Even now I do not know and as I learn more I swing one way or the other. Psychopaths are infamous for not having fear. I have experienced fear, I do not normally get it in situations others do, but I do experience it... therefore i must not be? But I discovered she did have a fear, of death. not others dying just her. Not even being alone. It was just a fear of non-existence.
DeleteIt was a fear that seemed to haunt her always. She was an Atheist, like me. Lacking a belief in the existence of any deity or anything supernatural. Non-existence does not scare me. If I am bothered by as aspect it is being left alone as others pass, or the process that takes me to that point. I doubt it is ever pleasant. It is the only fear I could find. She was certainly a Socialized Psychopath and not really manipulative. I believe she would have been only moderate on the scale of things. When she became pregnant ( his not mine ) our time ended. I do miss her partly to explore her pathology. I'd find something and compare to myself, But now... I realize Psychopaths come in so many different shapes and sizes.. I'm back in the middle again. I'm not like her but I'm not like everyone else. This is where I am once again.
What kind of work do you do?
DeleteMaybe you're a borderline?
DeleteThat was very interesting, thank you for indulging me :)
DeleteIt sounds like her and I would get along beautifully.
I would love to hear more about her, especially her black and white thinking and this contempt for weakness.
I have been called an "extraordinary harsh judge" for those same traits.
I am paranoid and deconstruct almost everything, but am nonetheless highly rational.
And I know exactly what you mean regarding death. I am an atheist and have no fear of non- existence either.
There is something else you mentioned. You said her husband was weak and she only married him to appease family. Yet she stayed with him and even had his child. Did she ever talk about why she chose to do so?
For that matter, how was her behaviour towards you?
Did she lie, cheat, have rages...?
Did she show you love? Affection?
As for you being a psychopath or not, does it really matter? You are clearly highly intelligent, rational and seem to be in control of your life. A rose by any other name...
Black and white thinking.
DeleteLying is a good example for her, a person has lied therefore they will always lie. She will cut them off from her life no matter how small or the reasons. Yes "extraordinary harsh judge" fits.
I had to be very careful I did not trigger this response and I admit a close call. But this is black and white thinking to me. I know people lie, even when they are unaware of it themselves. I think one of the few things that distinguish humanity from other animals is we can lie so well, we can fool ourselves. Since she had little understanding of emotional reactions in people, she was unable to see the gray area of lying. When its irrational and temporary when its a white lie etc. The irony of this which I find amusing is she was having an affair with me, the whole time. The ultimate lie?
Concerning her husband, he was a friend (hers). I suspect he did want her and was a normal person. She did not want children like me she felt they only get in the way an annoyance at best. But it seems it was a family pressure. So she did a logical thing and married her 'best' friend. He was the one who was trying for a child. I do not know why she stayed, he was a failure career wise, seemed to shift from one to the next. He had returned to university when I was with her, In his 40's I believe he will remain a career student on government support. Which is why I consider him weak. My only conclusion is family approved and perhaps stopped involving themselves as long as she was with him.
Infatuation with me would be a good description, intense and gradually winding down as she no doubt became bored with me, I would not be surprised if this was a typical pattern for her. I would not say she could 'love'. I tend to instead stay infatuated, and perhaps become too intense rather then become bored.
Her behavior was very logical, intelligent, It was very difficult to get her to become angry (Much easier then it is for me). Becoming very cold would be the closest to her being angry.
As to me being or not. It would be nice to know to label, So I can adapt more. Know your limitations I guess, I can see hers and her mask slipped often. But am I unaware of mine just as much as she was?. Does it show as often?
I'm still curious what kind of work you do.
DeleteThank you, I appreciate your honesty and indulging me.
DeleteThe more you tell me about her, the more interesting I find you both.
Reading that, I would have to disagree with those who say I am an extraordinarily harsh judge. I seem very lenient by comparison :)
Find it fascinating that she was so strongly against lying, yet not surprised by her hypocrisy.
Though perhaps seeing her husband as weak was justification enough for her.
Personally, I fully expect people to lie. We all do it and society would fall apart without lies and masks.
What I do not tolerate is when it's an obvious lie and they keep trying to weasel out of it when confronted. It's so weak.
And it's rather insulting when people keep telling me what I consider to be obvious lies. Makes me wonder: Do they think I'm stupid? Or do they think I should play along to please them?
Manipulation is something that I consider myself rather adept at spotting. Will sometimes go along with it, simply because it's easier for me, but only tolerate it to a point. After that, it tends to bring out the coldness (and sadism) in me.
I see your point about the labels. What is it about yourself that makes you consider the possibility of "sociopath" being the right one?
She was a change for me, I've never been like other people but we had so much in common. Thinking and opinion, I never met someone more like me before. My concept of Psychopath, and I'll make a correction here. Was the typical Anthony Hopkins cliche. So I ruled it out until I met her. As far as I know the words Psychopath and Sociopath are interchangeable and the only difference is the usage in differing health fields. However I know the word Psychopath has more of a cliche image than Sociopath. It seems on this blog people use Psychopath to refer to Low functioning violent types. While Sociopath refers to the Socialized Psychopath 'higher functioning'. I did not know of the existence of Socialized until I met one, It was in many ways a mirror. But a flawed one, I can do many things and experience many things she could not. Which is why I am undecided.
DeleteI take special pride in my ability to "profile" people.
ReplyDeleteTake the "THEEE HEE HEE man." I'm assuming he IS male for a
variety of reasons. And I think,in the past he has posted some
very realevent statements. I believe he is an Englishman, and
judging from when the posts are sent, with the different time
zones, that proves it.
It appears at one time he attempted to communicate in a normal
way. I think he believes that M.E. is not a real sociopath, so
perhaps he believes that this blog is fraudulent and that M.E. is
perpetuating a scam on people or misrepresenting sociopathy
in someway. Why he personally feels affronted is open to
question. Did M.E. slight, or freeze him out in someway? What are
his goals in being a pest? Why does he even log in here if he
hates the blog so much? Of what importance IS this blog to him
anyway?
I'm presuming the gentleman is NOT an improvished man because
he has acess to a computer and time to write his posts.
What are the objectives of such infantile behavior? And why does
no one but me comment? You would think that a real sociopath
would have "bigger fish to fry." Is his objective to hurt M.E. and
destroy her blog? Or, does he actually harbor some hidden NOBEL
objective in his assult on the blog? Could he want the blog shut
down to encourage M.E. to move on with her life, so she can find
true happiness?
Whatever his motivations he should be aware by now that they
have not worked, any more then an annoying buzz fly on a hot
summers day. M.E. and the blog will stay as long as she wants.
Please go away.
Haha!
DeleteLord above, what a bunch of bullshit.
You are seriously trying to sound clever and profile an internet troll? It takes more than an arrogant manner and watching some detective dramas to profile someone. Not to mention a hell of a lot more information.
A few points, Sherlock:
Time zones don't mean squat. I personally have posted here at every time possible thanks to insomnia and an unpredictable schedule.
Not impoverished as he would have access to a computer and time to post? Seriously?Many a public library offers a free service and those without work have ample time on their hands.
Ever consider that there is no great super villainous plot? S/he could just be bored and decided to annoy people. Probably takes 5-10 minutes, but oh how it made people bitch and moan before. Hilarious :)
I am curious as all hell how you could possibly back up your claims. Have you gone scouring through the annals of SW to find all posts that could potentially be Vegie from the past year (at least)?
Or... are you just being a pompous windbag?
Come on, you can tell me.
Oh and hi Vegie :)
lol you profiled the teehee man?
DeleteMaybe M.E. decided to twoll her own blog.
DeleteI love it! The Teehee man! Wait, that should be Mr. Teehee!
DeleteMelissaR
The reason I thought my ex bf was a sociopath, he broke up with me for no reason and said "I even love you in my own way."
ReplyDeleteThere is always a reason. He just didn't want to tell you what it was. Or you were/are in denial...
DeleteMany, many men say those things to women they are dumping. "I love you in my own way, but we can't be together"...
It works much better for avoiding tantrums and other bullshit than something more like "I don't give a fuck about you, never did. It was kinda fun in the beginning. Now you just annoy me. And if I hear you whinge one more time I am going to explode. So please, go die in the gutter."
(No need to wonder why almost all my exes hate me, huh?)
Breaking up with you for reasons you don't see does not make him a sociopath.
I think that just means he's a douche.
DeleteMelissaR
Ha!
DeleteBut keep in mind this snowflake diagnosed her ex as a sociopath after he dumped her "for no reason".
She could very well be an unbearably high maintenance bitch who expects life to be a chick flick, and he was just trying to spare her delicate ego (and his own sanity).
So...more of a coward than douche :)
Curious, how do you prefer to dump them, Melissa?
It's physically impossible for me to take any romantic relationship seriously. I think I may have in my teens, and up to about 21. I've considered recently however, trying to condition myself to be in some kind of long term relationship or even marriage for some financial security and comfort. I'm a professional, but my field doesn't always pay that well. The relationship wouldn't be based on romantic love, at least on my end, but I wouldn't want chaos in my home either. Just mutual respect.
DeleteHead first over a balcony.
DeleteMelissaR
More info, I met him, he told me at the beginning of our relationship that he could not love. Then as time went on, he said he loved me.
DeleteThen he left me and made up a dumb excuse like I drank and alcoholism runs in his family. AS he was leaving, he said he "loved me in his own way".
He left for months and then wanted to come back. He has done this several times. He is borderline plus other stuff, I think.
Another reason he seemed "off", He was cheating and I find out and he felt absolutely no guilt. I was sobbing and he seemed to feel nothing.
original poster of thread
whatever he was he sounds miserable, needy, and willing to prostitute himself for attention (if you are the highest or even only bidder, he is compelled to court you). I have dated men like this. I wouldn't call them sociopathic or borderline so much as exhausting and a waste of time. A man like that will suck you dry and then try to figure out a way to blame you for his unhappiness. You are better off without him.
DeleteHi Snowflake :)
DeleteI couldn't agree more with Mach.
Been there, done that...
Many of those "bad boys" seem almost irresistible. They are dark, they are fun and they are so utterly tempting.
Until you realise they are not "bad", just really weak.
consciousness rising.
ReplyDeleteOh and I a a special snowflake, thanks for noticing. :)
ReplyDelete