Thursday, August 14, 2014

Horrible people

From a reader:

First off, let me say that I am not an avid reader nor am I someone to write an author to discuss my fondness and respect for his or her work, but I am so glad that I stumbled across your book. Immediately, I found myself relating to you and your analyses of sociopathic behavior. Oddly enough, I do not believe that I can be considered a sociopath as I do share traits of the empath, but I think it valuable in many ways to model certain sociopathic behavior. This probably makes me seem like a horrible person, actively taking on traits of a subset of the population that cannot help but operate in particular ways, however, maybe you understand that it could also be beneficial to recognize these strengths in some situations. To get ahead in this world sometimes it is necessary to be the predator instead of the passive prey. It is imperative that I dissect every detail and weakness about those I want to be professionally or personally involved with so that when the time is right, I maintain the upper hand. Unknowingly, I certainly target people. I have a type. I have always considered my sexuality as being ambiguous and more about a person intriguing me rather than abiding by the social norms. I do what I want and attribute much of my success to utilizing motives discussed in your book. Though I do not think these admissions can describe 100% of my everyday life, this is certainly a piece of me. Maybe admitting these things categorizes me as something socially, stereotypically 'worse' than a sociopath. Ultimately, I guess I am not seeking advice or answers, but wanted to relay thanks for being brave enough to delve into this topic and recounting your experiences. It is comforting to know that, right or wrong, crazy or not crazy, I am not in the minority to have such thoughts. 

Thanks again

PS- I'm a drummer as well! Hope you still find time to play.

141 comments:

  1. Interesting. I've read that drummers tend to be more intelligent than other people, due to certain elements of drumming such as maintaining time. Combined with sociopaths tending to be more analytical and logical, is it possible that the drums might appeal to sociopaths more than other musical instruments due to the technical skill and control required? Or perhaps I'm simply seeking some connection that does not really exist.

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    1. Interesting. I've read that sociopaths tend to drink coffee. Their proneness to boredom and need for stimulation, combined with sleeping problems, make coffee appealing.

      Hot chocolate, especially with the inclusion of marshmallows, will generally be shunned by sociopaths due to its warmth and sweetness. These properties can however make it possible for the sociopath to deceive potential victims by luring them into a false sense of security.

      The tea drinker is one who is expressing a strong, albeit sometimes unconscious, desire to indulge in tea-bagging.

      Is it possible that due to their inherent desire to avoid being publicly exposed as a sentimental mush or tea- bagger, coffee would be the beverage of choice for sociopaths?

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    2. Interesting. And now for another completely unrelated comparison.

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  2. ^ interesting.........

    ME, seriously come visit, let us jam. We have two sets downstairs. You and hubby can jam while I'm on vocals. Ha.

    I was thinking about this on my way home today?

    Do you think there's some correlation between being musically inclined to instruments and sociopathy or artsy, or just fuck what's the word I'm looking for..... " so many people diagnosed with some mental disorder as they call it " love music and are very artistic, creative. It's like life is a canvas. Needs to be drawn out or played out. ;)

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    1. I play synthesizer, do drum programming (samplers/drum machines) and play a few other instruments. I don't seem to find enough time for it lately, but it is always very cathartic when I do.

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    2. I play a bit of guitar... Let's start a band and call it SOCIO XD

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    3. On another note I also draw, people seem impressed. But I don't know if I would go as far as calling it a correlation. Possible, but I don't know.

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    4. I play the piano and bass guitar as well as being good at drawing. I'd join the hell out of the band, Tii :D

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    5. Ights then we've got almost everyone... Who's up for singing? XD

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    6. Haha. Let's do it !! Yeah!
      First, I'm so in the mood for chinese food. Killer craving. Will eat... then jam.

      Tii,

      Word! to the socio name. Perfect. ;)

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  3. About "stereotypically" worse than a sociopath: my view off the top of my head (VOTTOMH) is that even though this expression likely makes sense as a logical and useful term, and most people who read it will believe that they know what it means -- its actually a poor way to characterize human behavior, as are many of our ways of discussing personality disorders.

    Let's pretend for the sake of argument that "better" and "worse" are the tendency to move up (better) or down (worse) on a line that defines "goodness" or its absence.

    Statistically speaking sociopaths will fall somewhere in a probability distribution on this line and neurotypicals somewhere else. For instance a sociopath may get a score of 0.3 more often than a score of 0.7, and the opposite is true for an empath.. but there will be overlap between the two distributions. Some empaths will have less goodness than sociopaths. It is hard to imagine otherwise.

    Now what is "stereotypical"? I guess it means that is what people tend to believe based on personal experience, news sources, their friends etc. Of course there is a bias here because the sociopaths who stand out in people's experiences are those that are on the "absence of goodness" end of that line. We don't really know that much about sociopaths, in general, amongst the whole population, so we don't know what the statistical distribution of 'goodness' really is at all.

    It's not 'good' (VOTTOMH) to rely too much on stereotypes. It's particularly poisonous for the issues discussed on this blog. Not only for empaths, or victims by the way, but there would I guess be many fewer victims if there were less stereotypes and people had to think for themselves about who or what they are dealing with.

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    1. Please, what is VOTTOMH?

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    2. What is your occupation?

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    3. I believe Newbie indicated, in the first sentence of the reply, that VOTTOMH = view off the top of my head.

      N

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    4. AnonymousAugust 15, 2014 at 8:51 AM

      I have decided here to make an effort not to bias what anyone thinks about what I write or how they might react to it, by what they think about me, what I do, how I have lived my life, what personality disorders or other disorders I may or may not have.

      That way I'm less likely to take things personally, and there are other good reasons too. It works for me.

      I think I have more to learn here that way.

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    5. Thank you Anon 9:47. You are right.

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  4. I wonder where the soul is with a sociopath? It is said that all things can be proven by either math or science with one exception, a spiritual realm. Could there be the slightest possibility that such a realm exists and as for the sociopath that there is a presence that stills ones very soul. The very part of the human being that is capable of feeling one for another?

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    1. 4. The Soul.
      for the sake of simplicity and practicality the soul is not often discussed because it doesn't have a function and it can't be trained. It simply exists. It is the essence of your being, your personal identity, your awareness of being aware.

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    2. We don't have souls. Not sociopaths, people.

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    3. Brotha got soul.

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    4. According to Southpark, Ginger's don't have souls :P

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  5. I am a female and I just want to have sex with as many females as possible as often as possible... and I feel dissastisfied without it.

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    1. It sounds so boring to me. Running for sex all the time. Dressing, undressing geting wet, sweating, taking a shower and them all again and again... oh no! Oh, and geting out in a raining night to meet lesbians... oh, no!

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    2. LOL. Stop dreaming of hot wax over nipples. Close yr vagina anon, there's just too many STD's out there.
      Find the one vagina to be content with.
      :p

      And lights out SW world. Nights.

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  6. "Those who know" often seem to imply that to be a psychopath one has to be in jail. One has to "act out" most impulses with zero impulse control to get such label. Otherwise the "result" will not be high enough. But that surely is BS? What is needed to be classified as "everyday-socio"? My suggestions are: 1. Friendless with no need for social interaction 2.Hubris, godlike aspirations 3. Cold-blooded 4. No real life-goals, the way animals lack goals 5. Without regrets & remorse.

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    1. such black amd white thinking? the basis is what? to deny another humanity based on your own view?

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    2. Write a list then, with the correct traits..?

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    3. I'm not exactly friendless. I don't have any really close friends, but I have people I'm friendly with. A few years ago I moved to a new city, and actually made a conscious decision to go out and meet new people. But I like having people to hang out with, it sure beats sitting on the couch staring at the walls.

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    4. A hardcore socio has only one friend: himself, like a cat. But since its a "spectrum condition" many variations/combos exist..

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    5. Why only one friend?

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    6. Be-cus they´re predators, and most snakes, spiders & gators are solitary creatures. Probably lessens the risk of being eaten for dinner by their friends, this could explain certain mistrusting, paranoid & cynic attitudes held by folks being labeled morally insane.?

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    7. What about crows?

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    8. I suppose the only problem with your theory is that a lot of predators are social species....wolves for example.

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    9. "A hardcore socio has only one friend: himself, like a cat."

      what' up with cats. cats r cool. the can be friends with each other but not with mice.

      unless you mean traumatized or especially mean cats.

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    10. actually sociopathic personalities tend to prefer dogs because they can be dominated. Cats can not be predicted or controlled.

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    11. haha wonder if that's true, although I do know a psychologist who is a sociopath that has a cat.

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    12. and as long as the cat continues to amuse the sociopath, it's all good :)

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    13. I actually prefer cats. While it's true that a dog can be dolinated (so can cats, dogs are just easier), and that they tend to be loyal and friendly, I find them idiotic. I feel like they over trust, are way too energetic, and seek way too luch attention. Don't get me wrong I love dogs, grew up with them and always enjoyed there company. It's just that the cat reminds me of myself, and the similarities make me laugh. The cat seems to not give a flying damn about what you feel or think, it likes to just stretch and lay around in the sun, doesn't get jumpy and excited when you're there and probably won't come to you unless it needs/wants something. Plus they always seem to be watching and examine what people are doing. They are lostly peaceful but, you get too annoying or too troublesome they will attack. I had a cousin who's house I used to go to often as a kid, she had a small (almost kitten size) cat and the it seemed to like me, I didnt bother it or try to met it unless it came to me. There was a bench in her backyard, a nice spot to bask in the sun light. I used to lay there for hours, pretty often (probably most of time) it jump up on the bench get on my stomach, circle around and would sleep there until I got up or it wad done resting. I thought it was pretty cool how similar we were so I sorta began to prefer cats over dogs.

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    14. I much prefer dogs to cats, for exactly the reason that Machiavellianempath mentioned. I didn't realize I was such a cliché. I hate cats and use to torture them when I was a child, so there's that too.

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    15. I prefer cats though I like dogs. Mostly the reasons Tii said and the fact that cats are not as clingy as dogs..mostly. I have had some really affectionate cats. It also seems to me that all dogs have the same personality while each cat is unique. I never did like torturing animals. I found it unfair in my mind to attack something weaker than you. No challenge. Animals also were easier than humans to understand as a child. It took me a while to become adaptive. I always preferred animal rescue to animal damage. People were much more fun to hit they always complained to someone and then there was more fun to be had by playing the adults. I loved bashing bully boys and girls up and then when went off and whined about it making the adults think they started it and I was the victim. Tiny little sweet me, how could it possibly be me who was the aggressor when they were known bullies and I was such a "good" child.

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    16. Cats are independent. I have dogs and a cat and the cat is never bugging me. The dogs do constantly.

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  7. I have enourmus respect for the people who post here.
    I've been posting here for a year or so. and my impression is that MOST
    of the real sociopaths have departed.
    When I first began to post, some of my comments ilicited cruel,
    insulting responses. The cold antipathy that one would expect from true
    sociopaths. I couldn't allow that to deter me, because I come from an
    older generation, where "bullying" meant face to face contact, vandalism
    or "crank" telephone calls.
    The computer is a marvelous instrument that gets me into places that I
    could never dream of entering, based on my physical appearence or
    lack of achievements. I provoke a "fight-or-flee" reaction from people
    and have no expectations of remotely attaining what this society terms
    "sucess." I'm no longer bitter about such things, because I learned that
    acceptance is the best way to go. Why be bitter about things that can't
    be changed or "spilt milk?" I eschue all labels, and try to live as simply
    and naturally as I can.
    My "luck" will eventually run out as will everybody's. It's only a question of
    when.
    My purpose in writing this letter is to call upon your sociopathic
    "expertise." Some of you might remember Casey Anthony. The
    acquited mom who most likely got away with murder. She was the most
    hated, I think unjustifiably, because others have done far worse things
    then she did. It was the NEWS COVERAGE that made her the "most
    hated." Anyway, she is now in hiding, being shuntered around between
    various caretakers. Many sightings have been claimed, but no cell phone
    photos have surfaced. Recently released pictures, are over a year old.
    My question: What do you see in her future? She is presently pinned down by lawsuits, and fear of lynching, though it is ridiculous to think that
    could happen to a woman in public. I see her marrying someone in her
    social circle, like a bodyguard or an attorney. The Canadian serial killer,
    Karla Homka, married an attorney. Patti Hurst (Look her up) married her
    bodyguard. I don't see Casey recidivating as long as she as some
    caretaker in her life. Female sociopath's who attain "infamy," DO NOT
    REPEAT. Only "professional" female sociopaths like grifters or
    "black widows" repeat. Am I right?

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    1. I gotta see a pic of you.

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    2. Anon@430am, I have only been participating on this blog for a few months, but I have seen some of the old posts. I think what you mean by the "real" sociopaths have departed is that the "low functioning" sociopaths have departed. Wouldn't that be more accurate?
      There has been, particularly lately, very interesting and sometimes philosophical discussions to which low functioning sociopaths (or low functioning or unaware neuro typicals for that matter) would not be able to contribute. They would look like trolls if they tried to add their 2 cents. Thoughts?

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    3. Hmm good question, and since you point it out, you may be right.

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    4. AnonymousAugust 15, 2014 at 4:13 AM
      I have enormus respect for the people who post here.
      I've been posting here for a year or so. and my impression is that MOST
      of the real sociopaths have departed.

      Whoever the 'real sociopaths' are, I wish some would come back. I do agree that the overall tone has changed, but I don't view that as an entirely 'good' outcome for lots of reasons.

      You can decide for yourself (even if you do not believe in free will) whether you think this is a joke or not.

      The free will exchanges starting with AnonymousJanuary 5, 2014 at 11:11 PM including @Mach under Slip-Ups is fascinating. I can see how reading and listening to Sam Harris it could change anyone's world view, and their view of themselves, their partners, friends and family -- no matter what their personality type. The messages are 'transcendent' that way.

      According to that hypothesis and the arguments therein, there are no 'horrible people', strange as that might seem at first glance.

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    5. What the fuck is up with this Anon and Casey Anthony. That obsession is just mind blowing. What the fuck has she done for you that you're so set on believing that she is a poor lost soul in nedd of help? Why do you even care whether she is or not, no one here gives two shits that's for sure. If you're looking for pity you might wanna look elsewhere.

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    6. Tii, and it has been going on for SO LONG.

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    7. I don't know if I would repeat after being caught at something and outed publicly but the answer to that is probably a yes. I don't really have bad enough fear of jail for it to be a stick. My roommate does not murder fools simply because he is small and cute and fears the buttsex. Jail would suck for him. It would just be a change of scenery for me. If Casey is anything like me she probably likes the attention more than she hates the bad stuff that comes with it. No way to really tell if she is sociopath though.

      Anon if you are fixated on her though you might want to get some professional help.

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  8. ps I'd buy both AnonymousJanuary 5, 2014 at 11:11 PM and @Mach under Slip-Ups a bottle of wine if I knew who you were. I've got some response at the end of that posting and hope it contributes as well.

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    1. Wow what did it say?

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    2. It's probably too long-winded... It's at:
      http://www.sociopathworld.com/2014/01/slip-ups.html?showComment=1408134246906#c3533865661277114089

      two posts presently at the end.

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  9. I am really not sure using some sociopathic traits in your everyday life makes you a horrible person. It depends what traits you use, how you use them and for what purpose. If you use the analytical traits to look after yourself without damaging people around you unless they attack you first, then it does not make you horrible. I believe you have a duty to look after your own self. You cannot look after other people in a constructive manner unless you look after yourself first. If a victim is helped by another victim that has not made the journey back to being at peace with themselves, chances are they will both wallow in their distress and will be stuck in a victim mentality.

    As MachiavellianEmpath said: "I was tormented by my own need to right the wrong done to me. It kept me trapped." My advice would be to look after yourself and stop being a victim or to not become a victim in the first place, if you can avoid it. Easier said than done, I know. If that includes using your intellect as well as your emotions and feelings, so be it. Yes, it feels that you lost part of your innocence. Perhaps people can go through life without loosing their innocence, but most of us who have chosen to live a full and productive life will not get that privilege.

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    1. well said. I do enjoy your posts Old and Wise.

      Good point about the loss of innocence. But cannot allow it change your view. Then whoever it was destroys an essential aspect. I think so anyways.

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    2. Anonymous@4:43PM, thank you. I am glad some of my posts can be useful or thought provoking to some of the readers.

      I completely agree with you that losing your innocence while retaining and even enjoying your ability to feel is very difficult. I think that is what you meant. Retaining or regaining your ability to feel, your ability to trust your feelings and your ability to trust other people is the difference between staying a victim, and learning from having been a victim. It is also a choice you keep making every so often. Life is dynamic. You can choose to a certain extent to be more or less receptive to the emotional blows and joys that life has to offer. Being aware of the choice you are making is in itself a big step towards making the one that is right for you and your life circumstances. There is obviously a threshold that is different for each of us, which can also vary throughout your life. I personally have found that if I close myself off to the bad feelings, I am not able to receive the good ones, and unable to enjoy life.

      I believe you can develop a fear of good feelings, particularly after having a close encounter with a sociopath. To put it in simple words: some of the worst feelings are derived from having had exceptionally good ones - hope and excitement being some of those good feelings. That is where the sociopath’s specialty resides. The sociopath knows how to make you feel so good about life and about yourself that you associate it with feeling good about him/her. You believe you like them very much or even love them. Then when s/he is entrenched in your life and in your heart, they chip away at your confidence and make you feel bad, not so bad that you don’t want them around - after all you have learnt that they can make you feel really good - but bad enough that you will try and behave in a way that conforms to what you believe their expectations to be. This is how they control you. In my mind this is the stage where you suffer from codependency. Then the worst feeling comes when you realize that you have been fooled, that the feelings you had towards the sociopath never had any real or genuine basis and were certainly not reciprocated, that you own feelings were actually used to control you, and that not only the sociopath lied to you about himself and how he felt about you, but also lied to you about yourself. That is when you have to find your “core” and rely on self introspection to get you back out of “hell”, to find out what were the lies and what is actually true; to find out who you are or who you can be without the artificial support the sociopath gave you.

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    3. I find these words on par or perhaps more therapeutic than $200/hr sessions these last few days. So thank you for words, thoughts, ideas and feelings I can read again -- later -- without relying on memory of what was discussed.

      I do realize now that I need specialist therapy.

      About that 'hell', there is also this belief that I lied to myself, or betrayed my own values, and knew better at times. We don't always know what is the right decision for us. It's part of the human condition. But there is still that loss of confidence.

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  10. Wisdom of the socios: many think they have been called, but few are (the) chosen..

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  11. Are you saying that unrecovered victims cannot help each other or that unrecovered victims ought to also seek out other types of people in order not to wallow.

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    1. I believe unrecovered victims can help each other feel better short term by being able to empathize, but they will have a tendency to reinforce in each other the idea that it is the perpetrators alone that needs changing and that they are powerless in changing themselves and learning from the experience.
      A recovered victim will have a more positive input not only because the current victim will see there can be a way out of by this mess, but also because there is a better chance that the tough questions will be asked or will come to mind: What can you do to avoid being a victim in the future; What could you have done to prevent the situation from getting that poisonous; What have you learned about yourself; What can you do to stop being a victim right now. This is a very tough and crucial moment in your life. Staying a victim will sour you and will make you aggressive and distrustful towards most people, even those that have the best intentions. Learning from the experience might make you a more confident, loving and gentle person. Easier said than done...

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    2. @OldAndWise: I could not agree more with you on this particular topic. While reading through past conversations and posts, I realized that there are a lot of 'victims' (some people prefer the term 'survivor', I guess) that come to SW to do what amounts to bitching and moaning about 'their' sociopath and how all people like them should be sent to an island where they can cause no more harm.

      While reading the testimonials in websites devoted to people who have been conned and abused by sociopaths/narcissists/etc, I have been struck by the way in which these supposedly good people gleefully demonize others (perhaps rightly so) without considering that it takes two to tango.

      I do not think I have ever seen anyone admit that the red flags were there and they simply chose to ignore them. It's not victim blaming so much as it is being held accountable for your own well-being, assuming the hypothetical 'you' is an adult. Then again, I might be biased as I happen to think that, even though it may be difficult at times to admit, the 'victim' sometimes (often) does take something from their relationship with whomever they end up demonizing. Either the person was larger than life and exciting to be around, or they treated the 'victim' like a king/queen, or there was something else to be gained from being around them, at least at first.

      Am I completely deluded in thinking this way? Am I justifying bad behavior?

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    3. It may be easier for survivors of a sociopath if they understand how thing like this work in our minds. When I chose someone to seduce or the person pursued me and I decided to acquire them I had no malicious intent for the most part. I found them to be intriguing. I wanted to posses this intriguing or useful person. So I adapted myself to be what they needed. and wanted. This is simply what I am. I want, I change what I need to about myself to acquire it, I acquire it, I find something new or I become bored with the old person or resentful of being stuck as who I made myself into for them. I then do what I need to to make you leave. I would always make sure early on that my new toy had revealed exactly what their deal breaker was. the one thing that would cause them to walk away.

      I think some of the wounded that come to this site are actually the victims of full on Narcissists not sociopaths. We share so many traits that it can be hard to tell. Even after I started telling guys upfront I was not capable of love or a long term relationship I had a hard time getting some to break it off if I did it in a kindly manner. That is on them. I understand that most of you got lied to. It is very inspiring to watch people bounce back stronger from something like that. What I hope I can bring to this is help for both the socio and the survivor on better understanding each other.

      As people who don't feel attachment we can have a hard time understanding that what we do really sucks sometimes and that we can strive to do better. We don't HAVE to hurt people. Set yourself a new challenge and try to uplift instead of tear down. We socios think we are superior for the most part. Prove it. The exact same skills we use to hurt people can be used to help them instead. All it takes it the courage to make that change. Try it as an intellectual exercise if nothing else. Manipulate a person into having a good day instead of a bad one.

      The game is just as fun. It has a bigger payoff though.

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  12. I think it is wrong to think "I am better than...." and after meeting "my" ex-BF with psychopathic traits, I lost some of my blind spots, but not my innocence. I still believe in love, not a romantic love, but I still believe in a deep connection. And I see how people care around me. There is something bigger than "I".

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  13. NEWS ALERT.. traits that others pick up on here think its just socio behavior. It's not. Socio do not corner the market in a lot of the traits that are professed here. Non-socio are also about climbing socially and in their careers that can put themselves first. Its called self esteem and valuing one own worth. Empaths just do not always lie down and be door mats. Socio really are not a unique snow flake.

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    1. Good point NEWS ALERT. We are all unique are we not? Even identical twins have different fingerprints, get different diseases and have different personalities...

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    2. There is no such thing as self esteem, there's only what you do because you think it's the best thing to do in your current situation. If someone tells you to kill your mom while both of you are looking one another in the eyes, or the rest of your family (including your mom) will be machine gunned in front of you (Valentine's day massacre style). They also give you another option, if you can't kill your mom go and perform fellatio on a horse until it cums, and everyone will be saved. Which one would you pick?

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    3. @Tii

      Why do you think your example can prove there is no such thing as self-esteem -- one hypothetical example to prove a giant point.

      "Self-esteem, is the positive or negative evaluations of the self, as in how we feel about it." -- wikipedia.

      Are you using a different definition?

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    4. Maybe you're right then. I guess I was thinking of self respect instead.
      So... which would you pick then?

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    5. Haha. Gross. Ew. But I'd have to pick the horse. My family is way to precious.

      P.S. Going to bed. Hoping I don't dream this. :p

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    6. Makes sense Mach.

      Vodoo Pork I tortured one, but now I'm flashbacking at my friends place when I was young, shoot -- I think it's one more that I was real nasty too. All all I felt was delight and power over it. Wow, how low of me. But truthful. All this time I thought I was a decent human being. Me and hubs can't stand the cat critters. We just have this thing about them. O dear.... ;)

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    7. Re wind this post midway. Oops ^

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  14. Society has not become more "humanistic" & many values the majority embrace nowadays, like "do what it takes" to accomplish something, is extreme stuff. Strange that no TV-shows about rich psychopatic people has been produced, isn´t "glamour celeb" tv something from yesterday? Their views most likely would not be shocking anymore, but mostly mainstream?

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  15. I think most people on here are just here to feel like they belong to something. To feel accepted. The cluster b individual Im married to (for now and was set up) woukd not even waste her time with this site. After all, she doesn't have a problem. Its the weak peopke that she has to get through life with everyday that has the oroblems. She even uses her only daughter! So some of this stuff Ive read on here is just plain, I want to be a groupie crap.

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    1. groupe crap dont pik up on cuz dont know which stuff is some

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    2. Now you have me curious what cluster b disorder does yr wife has.

      I agree, without being introspective and taking responsibility... it will always be someone else's fault in their mind; and furthermore, keeping them stuck and delusionalized in their self projecting behaviours. First step is always admitting a problem, without it, growth will cease.

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  16. Confession alert: AnonymousAugust 15, 2014 at 6:37 PM groupie crap man. I spent the better part of my youth on my knees and could identify a number of famous rock stars by their belt buckle -- male and female.

    Given that the original letter here is about learning to take on useful sociopathic tendencies I also confess that is a major reason I'm here. Another thing is that I find that I can laugh about things I read and about things in my life in a way that I don't get on lovefraud or similar sites.

    Even though lots of people here are no doubt lying through their teeth, I still find the discussion more honest and less biased because of the diversity of the points of view (if you look at lots of different posts...).

    I understand what your saying about "she doesn't have a problem". It used to eat me up and still does at times.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Are you male or female?

      Delete
    2. I was waiting for that question. I'm gender fluid.

      Delete
    3. But the body is male or female?

      Delete
  17. Why do you want to know what genitals I have? What difference does it make?

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  18. I question whether female sociopaths recidivate in the same way
    male sociopaths do. I come from an older generation then you, and
    in my time, most of the sociopathic gals expressed their sociopathic
    behavior at the istigation of psychopathic men, or in "Fatal Attraction"/
    "Play Misty For Me" kinds of ways. The killer in "Dirty Harry," (A "take off"
    on the Zodiac killings at the time) was a "male type" killer.
    The only female sociopath SERIAL killers I know of NOT working for men
    are GRIFTERS (Like the mother/son team Santee Kimes) and POISIONERS like "black widow" killers and NURSES who commit mass
    murder. Some women have wiped out their entire families in this way,
    particularly in the "olden" days.
    They say that a male sociopath "mellows out" in his 50's. But the
    female mass murderer can kill right through her 60's, because of the
    "gentle" methods she uses. The film "Arsenic And Old Lace" is an
    example. The single best film study of the female sociopath I ever saw
    was "Leave Her To Heaven" (1946) It was about a jealous evil woman
    who lures a boy into a drowning, so she can have his older brother to
    himself. When the sceme doesn't work, she posions herself and makes
    it look like the elder brother did it so she can reek vengence from beyond
    the grave.
    The only REALLY 'MANLIKE" female mass murderer was Alieen Warmos.
    Her manner of killing was very much what we would expect from a man.
    An excellent film about her, was "Monster," (200?)

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  19. It would be impossible for a neuro typical to behave like a sociopath all the time. Guilt and remorse would get in the way of the potential benefit or enjoyment they derive from it. Fear would make it very difficult to carry out any sociopathic plan. If you don't have this deterrent system working in you, think again where you fit...

    This brings me to a question that was posed to me by a purely intellectual and rational person, quite a while back. I am wondering what the answers from people in this forum would be.

    Why are feelings so important to people? Why do they keep basing decisions on feelings?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes. This question has been on ly lind for a while now. Though whenever someone tries to explain it, it just sounds like meaningless bs, or gets me even more lost.

      Delete
    2. Excellent question. I suppose it might have something to do with the myths and lives of ancient religious heros: both Jesus and the Buddha valued platonic love as a step on the universal path to enlightenment. Love is kind, love is patient, love thy neighbor as thyself -- the pure sociopath exhibits none of these qualities. Unless 'patience' means the same thing as a spider waiting in its web.

      As for basing decisions on feelings, that's never a good idea, for obvious reasons. But feelings should come into consideration, I believe, as part of the balanced approach of engaging with human beings. Emotions have their place and it's up to us to figure out how to moderate them without dampening the cold hard facts.

      Delete
    3. Tii, for some reason, I am nit surprised the question has crossed your mind. My rational friend asked me the question about 3 years ago. Why are feelings so important to people? This was one of the questions that allowed me to see the mask, by the way. I thought about it for a little while, and came back with this simple answer that I thought would make sense to him: it is because of neuro transmitters.

      Neurotransmitters can be as addictive as cocaine or heroin. Actually, it is not just an analogy. Such drugs affect our neurotransmitters, and likely the same ones that allow us to feel pain, joy, euphoria, guilt, etc., though the studies are far from being complete on the topic. Feeling joy and pain for instance, and feeling depressed come from a particular balance (or imbalance) of neurotransmitters. The human being is wired to produce and receive certain neurotransmitters under certain circumstances. Those are supposed to help us with the survival of the human species and how own survival.

      Sociopaths know instinctively, it seems, how to elicit neurotransmitters in neurotypical people. They know when to turn off the tap as well and for how long. When a sociopath targets a person, he becomes their drug dealer. Somebody said that leaving a sociopath is easy; it is staying away that is hard. How true. If you put it in the same context as drug dealing, it makes even more sense.

      I believe sociopaths are unable to produce or receive the same neurotransmitters or the same amount, or if they are, they are not triggered under the same "normal" circumstances. ‎Perhaps some have learned to control or close those neuro pathways. Perhaps some were physically and physiologically born that way. Who knows.

      I believe a self aware neurotypical person can learn to understand their own neuro pathways. The more you understand those pathways, the more inner peace you get. Not sure if the same concept would apply to a person that either does not have those pathways or has learned to close them off.

      Thoughts?

      Delete
    4. Maybe because feelings mixes with our minds, change our blood pressure, hearth beatings and so many other things that we need to manage without be completly racional, but measuring decisions using all these factors. It's not easy. By the way excuse for my English as its not my language.

      Delete
    5. I have to admit, it's the first time someone tries to explain it to me that way, and it makes hell of a lot more sense. I could see something along those lines happening. Eventually you become dependent of them. You might know that at some times they can be a hindrance to you and influence your actions but, because you rely on them you go through with it. Nice answer ^_^.
      Usually I get something along the lines of feelings are important because they allow you to feel things and you can find out how or what you feel about things -___-. That's like asking someone to describe the taste of sweetness and them replying that sweetness is sweet, or when you look for let's say exaggeration in the dictionary and the definition you find is the act of exxagerating. Not false but uterly useless

      Delete
    6. I mostly assumed that the act of having an intense experience as a response to a stimulus (the best definition of a feeling I can come up with :/ ) led people to believe that they should react the way they feel, but often without understanding WHY they are feeling that way. I have seen it with people who are prone to angry outbursts or to being offended by relatively innocuous remarks. The fact that the emotional response is there seems to validate... something or other. I don't claim to know what I'm talking about on this one, I'm just using the spaghetti on the wall approach. Any thoughts? Le sigh.

      Delete
    7. Old&Wise

      Well stated. Very interesting. :D

      Delete
    8. I think this is a matter of adaptive advantage, otherwise emotions would have been removed by natural selection.

      "Why are feelings so important to people? Why do they keep basing decisions on feelings?"

      People may not have a choice - essentially as pseudo-automatons.

      Delete
  20. @OldAndWise

    I am also one of the characters on this blog who appreciates many of your comments and view your inputs as presenting opportunities to think and to change.

    Just about everyone who arrives here has had a close encounter with people with strong psychopathic or sociopathic or malignant narcissistic traits or 'cluster b personality disorders' -- either they see that in themselves or someone else in their life. Many have been hurt by their own actions or someone else's.

    We can't change the other person -- only ourselves. That's why I find this post -- about adopting useful sociopathic traits -- about change in general -- important.
    Behaving like a sociopath all the time would be exceedingly boring. But I found out that behaving like who I thought myself was is also exceedingly boring, and what I mean by that is that I've got positive traits and some not so helpful and having a weakness that exposes one to harm from other people is not a permanent condition.

    Why are feeling so important? What a great question!

    I used to identify psychopathy with serial killers and all those mythologicized overinflated evil characters that can come to mind. This was a weakness, so I didn't see what hit me. There's a level of emotional terrorism that is hard to describe, and what happened in my case is complex and detailed, but there are patterns in behavior, so the details are not what are important.

    I'm less likely to believe what anyone here writes about their own personal life because there is no way to verify it, and I don't expect anyone to believe what I write about mine, because I am trying to adopt some useful psychopathic traits (to some degree -- and yes I do fear consequences -- it's the degree here that matters). One should not be afraid to move in that direction just because of the extremes -- like violent killers...

    I"m more likely to believe things which I can verify, or think through, or make some emotional or other kind of sense.

    I've been a habitual truth teller. I dealt with a character who lies for pure pleasure -- lying for itself. I've decided to try on lying -- here, not in my personal life. So I can recognize it better (get a better BS detector), so I can develop empathy, so I can learn to be a mean SOB when required...

    As a kid I typed up my mother's bachelors and masters theses in clinical psychology. Strange that I didn't learn about psychopathy (what it really is -- not what's in the movies) till recently, years later.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I really just come here when I'm bored because your comments entertain me to a degree that not even selling can do. Thank you for the laughs.

    ReplyDelete
  22. @OldAndWise -- why are feelings so important?

    Another major weakness I had is that I didn't pay enough attention to my gut feelings early on in the relationship. There were specific times I wanted to run away, or slow things down. I am learning to pay attention to those gut feelings. Instead I over-rationalized -- and talked myself out of it, that was driven by other emotions. So I don't know whether I was making decisions based on my emotions or not. It does not seem to be so clear.

    Let me know whether or not you think this is another rational point about interacting with people on this blog.

    I don't know anything about AnonymousAugust 16, 2014 at 9:52 AM. They are either joking or being sincere or some combination.

    Does it matter?

    Another rule perhaps is that anyone who comments as "Anonymous' is less likely to be sincere than people who claim an identity with a name.

    Does it matter if we are both entertained anyway?

    Sure it does. That's not a moral issue in the end. It's about depth or superficiality of the relationship.

    In the end I saw the vacuum in my partners eyes in moments that he felt, or stated he felt, were intimate. It was boring.

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  23. the thing is.. stop GLAMORIZING a Sociopath. there is no need to take on socio tendencies. The traits others speak of trying to imitate really most have that are not socio. Some are just weak or lack confidence. Build your self esteem and be a good person. In the end that will serve you best. Instead of burning bridges and destroying others. .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If that was directed to me, can I ask who am I destroying?

      I've been honest that not everything I write here is true. If that is burning bridges on a sociopath forum, then I guess we don't agree on the proposition that sociopaths tend to lie more than others.

      Why do you think I am glamorizing anyone?

      Delete
    2. You aren't the first person to say you haven't been completely honest which I find interesting about this forum. No one really knows each others identity really, so what is the motive for being dishonest?

      Delete
    3. Not directing at anyone in particular. M.E. always posting letters about how great Socio tendencies are as in this post. Stop making it all about you LOL.. just like a socio to do. Everyone follows suit and states they live by some of it. Tragic. Socio do try and see how they can use people and ultimately enjoy destroy them in some aspect. I see past the mask. very ugly underneath.

      Delete
    4. @Dr. Ginger,

      I didn't imagine I was... just a Newbie here. I've enjoyed some of your comments too as I'm digging into older posts as well.

      About motives, well that whole discussion on free will suggests that as humans we often are not all that aware of our motives. But on that point (lying here on the sociopathworld forum and not in my personal life) there are many motives.

      Enlightenment?

      The main one is to develop some psychological flexibility -- to be able to change my character to some degree. I find it pleasant to try different things out, sort of like a teenager all over again. I've definitely been stuck in a narrow range of experience and ways of interacting with people.

      Another is that famous quote "keep your friends close and your enemies closer". I take that to heart now.

      I do not consider that sociopaths are my enemies per se -- but people with similar sociopathic tendencies, even if they are not actually sociopaths, have done me harm -- because I didn't have sufficient insight into vagaries of human behavior. {BTW note that my problematic ex was too paranoid to be simply a sociopath. I have no idea what his diagnosis would be, but its in the personality disorders class.}

      Another motive is simply that I believe that what is true is rather self-evident in the end, once one thinks for oneself -- questions the validity of statements.

      If there were ever a place to not take truth for granted this would be one.

      That doesn't mean there is no truth.

      Quite the opposite.

      Does this make me a "bad" person? Anyhow such a statement is meaningless to a sociopath or similar types I guess.

      Anyhow I appreciate all the feedback positive, negative -- whatever it will be.

      Can I ask you what was your motive in asking that question?

      Delete
    5. To be honest, I've been reading your comments, and it's been difficult getting a firm grasp on what it is you are about.

      Delete
  24. What are you about?

    I can't say I know what I am about.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What am I about? That would be a trilogy :):)

      Delete
    2. A trilogy -- that's interesting. Can you offer some excerpts?

      I don't know whether mine would be a trilogy, a collection of short stories, or a manuscript written in an ancient language that I cannot read.

      So this question you raised "what are you about" is fascinating.

      Delete
  25. AnonymousAugust 16, 2014 at 5:26 PM
    Not directing at anyone in particular. M.E. always posting letters about how great Socio tendencies are as in this post. Stop making it all about you LOL.. just like a socio to do. Everyone follows suit and states they live by some of it. Tragic. Socio do try and see how they can use people and ultimately enjoy destroy them in some aspect. I see past the mask. very ugly underneath."

    Can I ask another question -- nothing personal because as you say it is not all about M.E.

    What do you feel when you write the words " I see past the mask. very ugly underneath."

    Is it anger? Or a feeling of satisfaction? Or superiority? Or sadness?...

    I don't want to put words in your mouth.I'm just curious what you feel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do know a socio & have read a lot to educate myself. I'm a wise woman and have learned as a business woman and successful woman to recognize manipulation. Maybe I have an eye at seeing things so much differently.. I'm not one to get caught up in "words". I'm not that desperate for approval or to be loved as others who get duped. I'm the one who goes for the less fortunate - I find great satisfaction in helping the less fortunate. I love those who are genuine, hard working. Down to earth peeps. I hate loud, showy and full of themselves persons. I observe a lot. I know who to keep my distance from. I've always felt wise beyond my years even as a little girl.

      I wished others would not be seduced by a socio. It's scary to me how a socio uses, manipulates and yes - they get an enjoyment in destroying others. I find M.E. (author of book) or Jamie whomever this girl who wrote the book very insightful. I do give her that.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous657am, can you give yourself a name? Question: you say you do know a socio. How well do you know him/her, and what makes you think that s/he is?

      Delete
    3. Anonymous657am and OldAndWise,

      All we have to go on here about others is words. Wisdom seems a worthy goal. What does wisdom mean to you? Seems you both feel you are wise. How do you feel about being wise?

      Delete
    4. Oh, and the person or persons offering 'wisdom of socios here:
      Anonymous@4:31 AM and 3:45, I'd like to hear your point of view too.

      BTW is it "feel you are wise" or "believe you are wise", or some combination?

      Delete
    5. Newbie, I don't think I am wise. My name is tongue in cheek. Making fun of myself type of thing. I chose the name because of the song old and wise, which happened to have played on the radio the first day that I posted here.
      I also think part of becoming wise is knowing that you are not. The journey towards wisdom is only a journey. The destination will always remain elusive.

      Delete
    6. OldAndWise,

      I'd agree that wisdom is only a journey, but others may have a different view, and I'd like to hear that two.

      Wisdom is also, in my view, subjective. That's why I ask what wisdom means to you and others, including the person who posted the link to casual defiance.

      How can one go on a journey without a sense of direction? Without some inkling or well reasoned view as to your own definition of wisdom.

      Delete
    7. ps I can't say I know too much about what wisdom means to me. Which is the main reason I ask what it means to you.

      Only that wisdom is a journey, and as a journey it has two parts: the process of moving forward in life (i.e. its like whether you drive a car that constantly needs repair, or a sturdy reliable vehicle), as well as sense of direction.

      My own process of moving forward recently has been more like the vehicle that needs repair. At present it is in the repair shop.

      Mostly what that means is that I have lost a sense of what my own personal, subjective wisdom actually is.

      Delete
    8. "The journey towards wisdom is only a journey. The destination will always remain elusive." Thanks, I just stole that from you and I'm making it mine ^_^

      Delete
  26. "The truth is morality is subjective, it's dynamic, ever changing and always based on context." Love it! :D

    ReplyDelete
  27. Wisdom of the socios: life...just happens.

    ReplyDelete
  28. my life changed as a socio 18 months ago. i read a book called the game which is a brief introduction to the not so now secret world of pick up artists. a group of men through trial and error pieced together the underlying structure of human nature and in particular attraction psychology. they used this information and started to piece together linear and sequential pick up models. most famous of all is something called the mystery method. which breaks down into 3 parts. with each part further dividable by 3. A1 A2 A3 C1 C2 C3 S1 S2 S3. In short, attraction phase one. successful opening up a group of people typically through a short non sexual opinion opener. then a short statement is aimed at the women to telegraph disinterest. with the view of disarming her protection shield from unwanted attention from men and also disarming any potential obstacles in the group. Then its time to move to A2 where you continue to disqualify yourself as a potentional suiter verbaly or non verbally and use demonstrations of higher value routines that are engineered to surruptitiously generate attraction and increase your value in the eyes of the group. once the women is attracted and starts to telegraph interest. you do the polar opposite and move into A3 where you use encourage the women to demonstrate her value by qualifying her to your standard. you do this so you can telegraph interest and now you both have legitimate attraction for each other. its then off to C1 which is where you synchronize the girl into rapport. with the view of building comfort. in C2 you use expressions of empathy to create an emotional connection and in C3 you escalate physical contact with the view of making the girl physiologically used to your touch. if she doesnt comply with a "kino-escalation" punishment reward systems combat this. then you seed an event and move into S1 having seeded a legitimate reason to meet up you take the girl to a seduction location and engage in foreplay. S2 you use strategies to combat her last minute resistance and final S3 = sex. this model when understood is efficient. in the hands of a sociopath you can make women attached to you and then they are trapped.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So basically, you have to convince yourself that you're making an impression.

      Delete
    2. yawn...male dicks are so fuckin boring

      Delete
    3. If it helps to build confidence then it can't be all bad.

      Delete
    4. Anon@537, this may sound boring but it is definitely not idiotic! I can see it working, particularly on attractive women. You make the woman work to get you.

      However, why is sex so important to you? Can you rationally say why that is?

      Delete
    5. I know..why are men always tryin to have babies. Like dang, we got enough people in this world already.

      Delete
    6. If all else fails, there's always the 'Chloroform' approach.

      I personally like to use a stun gun. While I'm in the act.

      Ah, there's nothing that bonds like pain.

      Delete
    7. I wanna rape...I wanna be like a female rapist :P I guess I would have to like inject him with Viagra, and force an erection.

      Delete
    8. I think I've actually been using this A1 A2... method unconsciously, without putting any thoughts into it. But now that it's been laid out like this I can see that it's pretty much what I do.

      Delete
    9. Lol, its a Ludas game of love. Sounds so romantically robotic.
      Can I please touch your C2-A1 r2d2 button. Hey let's play.
      Will look into the book. Curious to know this type of mindset.

      Delete
    10. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    11. So let me boil this down. You are supposed to approach strange women in an oblivious and obviously predatory manner. Insult them and then stand there and talk about what a stud you are and then we throw ourselves onto you swooning? I am getting this right?

      This model is pure bullshit. It is what beta males try to use to get alpha females. The reasoning behind is is: It is soooo unfair da womans won't sex me up...whine whine whine Alpha males are assholes and don't deserve all the pretty women whine whine whine I am such a nice guy it drives da womans away from to da evil alpha males whine whine whine I know instead of uplifting myself into an Alpha from a beta whiner I will trick da womens into gibsing me da sex... That makes me an Alpha! Now I can feel all warm and fuzzy about myself since having sex with pretty womens is the only thing that could complete me as a man! Oh wait 99% of the women I hit up with this bullshit turn away in disgust and throw drinks on me...they must be lesbians or evil feminazis... on to the next one!

      Guess what losers. Maybe the guy you think is an ass is instead a: witty, well groomed, successful, polite and caring dude who does not view women as objects to be acquired and used. Cause that is actually the critera most alpha women use to chose a mate. We don't really give a shit about your snappy patter and any woman with self esteem will take your "negs" as the insults they are. If you do get a girl this way guess what loser? They ain't a alpha.

      Delete
    12. May I make some suggestions.

      #1. Get over yourself
      #2. You are deluded
      #3. Women are actually people
      # 4 Bathe, brush your fucking teeth for the love of gawd and learn to dress yourself
      #5. Learn to read body language. If we present as uninterested or annoyed MOVE THE FUCK ON
      # 6 Until you know me STAND THE FUCK OUT OF MY PERSONAL SPACE, along those lines don't touch me unless I invite you to by touching you first. Seriously.
      #7 Don't talk about yourself. Ask about me. I would rather be called intelligent, interesting, witty and compassionate than beautiful. It lets me know you are interested in me as a person not a party favor. If I am beautiful and confident I already know this.
      #8 Don't stare at my tits when you talk to me look me in the eyes.
      #9 If you have completed step seven and followed the rest of my advice you are now in an actual conversation with a woman, Hopefully she has told you some of her interests if not ask. Does she like reading? What kind of books. How about music? Everyone listens to music. Has she ever played an instrument? Does she still play? Why did she stop? What does she like doing for fun? At this point share with her which interests you have in common. Don't insult her taste in music or what she likes read you idiot. Women look for commonalities in a mate NOT differences.
      Are you getting the idea here? Start with non personal subjects like these. Move on to what does she do for a living? Does she enjoy it where does she see herself moving on workwise in the future. DO NOT ASK WHERE SHE WORKS. It sets off creeper alerts.
      #10 After you get to know her you can engage about family. Do not engage about religion or politics until you have been dating a while (landmine area)
      #11 If this is going well. IE She has touched you or leaned in towards when she talks you can move on to asking if she would be interested in going out with you sometime to continue this sparkling conversation. If she agrees exchange numbers if not thank her for the conversation and GO THE FUCK AWAY. Seriously move on. There a billions of females on the planet, Some of them are going to be interested in dating you. Some are not. Look around the room you are in. Are you interested in dating ALL the women there? Of course not. Do not be insulted. Just move on.

      If you are a misogynist just looking for sex and power over women may I suggest a hooker or a hook up site. It is simpler you don't have to play any game and everyone gets what they need without other people being bothered. Please wear a condom the human race does not need you to breed.

      Delete
    13. C1 which is where you synchronize the girl into rapport. with the view of building comfort. in C2 you use expressions of empathy to create an emotional connection and in C3 you escalate physical contact with the view of making the girl physiologically used to your touch. if she doesnt comply with a "kino-escalation" punishment reward systems combat this. then you seed an event and move into S1 having seeded a legitimate reason to meet up you take the girl to a seduction location and engage in foreplay. S2 you use strategies to combat her last minute resistance and final S3 = sex. this model when understood is efficient. in the hands of a sociopath you can make women attached to you and then they are trapped.
      This is called rape by the police. Do not do this. It is a bad thing.
      Seriously are you cheap or something? PAY A FUCKING HOOKER!
      Or as an alternative there are thousands of hookup sites out there with women WHO WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. Alternatively if you need the power trip that an unwilling partner gives you.. Why don't you skip directly to forced rape instead of seduction rape? Face it, sooner or later you are going to have to use force in this situation anyway. Why bother with all the bullshit? Oh yeah the jail thing....

      Young sociopath may I suggest going to a sub/dom club? Much safer than what you are doing and willing partners and all. Live your fantasies in a socially happy manner.

      Delete
  29. Old & Wise.. I've know this person for over a decade & know them well. Fun person to be around but would not trust him as far as I could throw him. All the boasting on here!! LMAO.. I know .. all socio's are such a unique snowflake. @ anoymous.. again this is not all socio behavior. A LOT of Men do that .. it's on blue pill blogs & websites.. dating coaches etc. Your giving socio way too much credit.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Anonymous@907,

    If that blog is yours, I can say that I found some of your articles that I've read so far interesting. Looks like you have put alot of thought into them.

    The original DSM listed homosexuality as a 'sociopathic personality disturbance'. Subsequently the definition changed a few times till eventually it was eliminated. {Maybe one day homophobia will be listed with other phobias in the DSM, who knows.}

    Do you also think our definitions of all, most, or some mental illnesses are subjective?

    How do you think that subjectivity is related to the subjectivity of morality?

    And for your own personal morality, do you think that since you are someone who recognizes that morality is subjective, that those who do are morally superior, or 'better' in other ways, or less stupid...{these are just possible examples}

    than those who do not recognize that morality in general, and their specific morality too, is subjective.

    ReplyDelete
  31. One of my previous bosses was an asshole. A boss that is an asshole, thats nothing new under the sun you might say. In powermatches I have a tendecy to fire off emotionally - not obviously - but just behind the exterior. I still hate the guy several years after I last saw him. I still have periods where I dream of, and actually visualize murdering him. I lay plans for how I Cold enter his home and kill his family. The feeling of the terror I would give extends me into pleasure. However, I am not planning on a life behind bars. So nothing is done. Sometimes I dream of having dueling matches legal. But only with slashing weapons as possible weapons. Later the same day I look back at my urge to slash, and I think; "hey, that was no healthy thought." Just to repeat it again sometime later.

    And what did my ex-boss do to cross me? Target me, ending in character assasination - fabricated lies on lies. I ended leaving the Company, but not before I had used all the information against him he had spilled while still believing I was going to be his submissive cattle.

    Was he a sociopath? I have no idea. But he did have a thing for power, and had no coping skills with defiance other then lighting up like a kid on a tantrum. But he never actually tantrummed, he merely changed facial colors while his hands shook. So if he was some psycho narcissist, I saw him just as a psycho-baby.

    So did my attempts to ruin him with my knowledge work? I have no idea. But he did leave the company five or six months after I left. By that time he had been working there for 11 years. It would be nice if I were one to set off the domino effect that ruined him, but I have no idea. He might have woken up one day and just decided to leave, in contrary to all previous behaviour.

    I wish we were teenagers again. I would just show up at the same party as him and beat him into a pulp. That was the good old days.

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    Replies
    1. never let someone have that much power over you. ex boss should be paying you rent living in your head like that.

      Delete
    2. I was just pining away for my teen years today too. It was fun. So much easier. We did more because the consequences were less severe so I feel ya.

      Delete
  32. GOD!!! IT'S SO GOOD TO CARE FOR OTHERS. I THINK OF PEOPLE YOU ARE CURRENTLY IN COUNTRIES WHO ARE ENDURING UNTHINKABLE HARDSHIPS AND THOSE WHO CARE FOR NO ONE. WITH A MILITARY BACKGROUND IF I WERE LOOKING DOWN THE BARREL OF A RIFLE AND HAVING TO DECIDE TO TO SAVE OR WHO NOT TO. IT WOULD NOT BE A SOCIOPATHIC ASS.

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    Replies
    1. A socio would not save someone else's ass !!!

      Delete
    2. I would... there's a lot to gain from saving someone else's ass. Of course it depends on the situation, but yah it's always worth saving a life if it doesn' t bring you too much trouble.

      Delete
    3. WOW.. somebody whining because no one would save a socio ass yet you would only save an ass if it was beneficial. Then stop the whining.

      Delete
    4. I did not see him whining. I would also save your ass without a second thought. Luckily I don't NEED you to save me. I am survival incarnate. Learned early on the only the only one you could be sure to pull your ass out a bad situation better be yourself.

      If you proved to be a waste of flesh I might just push you back under the train after I pulled you off the tracks though. Just saying.

      Delete

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