Sunday, June 21, 2015

Sociopath?

From a reader:

First, I would like to say that I thoroughly enjoyed reading Confessions of a Sociopath; I was quite pleased to see that there are others out there with whom I can associate with on a certain level.  Though I don't know for certain that I can label myself a sociopath, I do know I experience emotion and human interaction in a slightly different fashion than most people around me.


I saw a psychologist last year with whom I shared my belief that I might be a sociopath and after asking me approximately 6 questions, determined I did not fall under that "category". I thought it would be wise to seek a second opinion - since I have always been best served by myself, I started to do some reading on the topic and found that I do share a very high number of personality traits with Sociopaths however, I do also have some similarities with Empaths. It does seem illogical for me to be capable of Empathic like behavior (or what I label as it) if I truly am a Sociopath.

I am not entirely convinced I answered the psychologist's questions with complete honesty as  I actually am not entirely sure I know who I am. I do not have much "sense of self" I guess is what it comes down to. I know I am physiologically a woman, I have a career, family, friends, I practice yoga, eat, sleep and I do know for a fact I am a shape shifter; I can be whomever, whatever I need to be in a given environment if I want to.

I also have an uncanny opinion of things.

My friend’s mother committed suicide in January however the authorities only found her body in April as she was out doors when she decided she had enough, her body froze and was buried under snow for several months.
When I heard the news, I sort of giggled inside my head, amused by the fact that she had been a "human popsicle" and wondered what her body looked like when it was frozen in that snow bank, which limb defrosted first, what it looked or might have smelled like....etc.

The other day I had a conversation about genocides and my opinion on the matter is quite controversial according to the person I was discussing with. I think genocides were/are actually useful to the planet's preservation. Imagine if all these ppl would have not died how much more pollution there would be? I did follow this statement by " yes genocide is horrific...but" I honestly know that genocides are terrible things however I actually don't feel bad for these humans that were killed.  I don’t care  at all..... I know it's wrong as society thinks it's wrong but I actually think it's not entirely a bad thing....it has its positives? I am not sure if I am just an optimist and trying to see light in a dark situation or if I am simply a twisted person for genuinely thinking this way.

I generally speaking don't feel the need to be surrounded by my family or friends, I actually enjoy being alone most of the time.
I have a large circle of friends/acquaintances however I don't really care for any of them, I could not talk them for years and it wouldn’t bother me much. I feel the same about my family members.

I often start very intense but short term relationships where I know the other will end up disappointed because I always eventually get tired or bored and stop interacting with them. I find it takes so much effort, so much energy to nurture relationships...family, friends or lovers...it's exhausting and slightly pointless....they never really bring me anything aside from being time fillers or entertainment - I find amusing their often illogical/irrational behaviors.

I am certainly not an exception to this  - I have had my moments where I was acting impulsively, irrationally. I am actually annoyed with myself when I realize my action is/was driven by emotion rather than logic. I do know I feel emotions....however I find it easier to not tune into them as I find them very overwhelming and I am not certain I can control or understand them.  I can label most of them but there are some which I can't classify.

I know I can love, I owned pets that I loved more than my own mother. I also loved a man which I suspect might be a sociopath.....perhaps why I felt so attracted to him in the first place. We share a lot of the same opinions about logic, emotions or lack thereof and the inability to truly connect with pal on a deeper level.

Anyway....I could go on forever writing about what has driven me to believe that I might be a sociopath but I will stop here.

Based on the few examples  I have provided you with, could you share your analysis?

I look forward to your response.

12 comments:

  1. What does it matter if you ARE a sociopath? What would it change?
    Would you try to cure yourself?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm constantly amazed by how many people who write in or comment on here asking if they're a socio go into so much detail about how they don't care about humans, and then finish up with 'but I really love animals...'

    Why?? Even if you're low on empathy, surely it's easier, if you really, really try, to put yourself in the shoes of another human than something of another species. Are you only capable of the kind of love that will 'love' you back unconditionally like a child?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm in the same boat as the OP regarding animals. I think it's that I can't blame animals for their failings. Where as I've actually been accused of being narcissistic because I expect people to behave like me - rationally, or at the very least more rationally. Not just mindlessly feeding their immediate emotional needs.

      At the same time I'm no PETA nut either. I'm perfectly fine with experimenting on animals. After all humans are different from animals, we have the power so they exist for our use. I haven't a doubt if bears or wolves were the dominant intelligent life they'd have no qualms doing the same to us.

      Delete
    2. I have strong feelings for my own pets. They provide me with companionship and amusement, and thus I care about them and their wellbeing. It's no different from a relationship with a person. I care about the few people I have close relationships with and from whom I receive love, attention, comfort, or whatever- and not at all about anyone else. The common thread is that my care, like any of my other shallow emotions, is predicated on how they affect or relate to me.

      Delete
    3. I should also note that I don't particularly care about animals other than my own.

      Delete
  3. You seems pretty normal to me. What I think could be the most shocking would be your view on genocides, but oviously there are positiv aspects as in everything, and you also stated you know genocides "terrible things".

    I just think you're true to your heart, and not hiding behind the perfect image we are told to pretend to be. But it doesn"t mean you're a socio.

    Are you disappointed by this answer ? If so, ask yourself why. What did you xanted to read ?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Does anyone ever mention that most comments here are dysfunctional attempts to luxuriate in victimhood? If not, there should be. It is a telling social psychological phenomenon that damaged people would rather legitimize their injuries rather than to overcome them. Anyway, have fun and remember, no amount of "peer acceptance" can justify murder.

    ReplyDelete


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