Why are you talking about Durst when you could be talking about Casey? It's too late for Durst. He can't put money in your pocket. But an alliance with Casey Anthony can. She's free. Link your fortunes with her, by writing a book with her, or giving her a job. The living labatory of a murderous sociopath is yours for the taking, and you let the oppertunity pass. You BOTH can profit. Get on with it!
This is regarding a post you made to yesterday's blog entry, so I'm a bit late to the party too, but your ramblings are starting to annoy me, because they are so chock-full of crap that to refrain from dissecting and shredding them amounts to a public disservice.
You see? My motivations for breaking down this post and exposing all the little turds it contains are very "pro-social". :)
"I don't agree much,"
Of course not. The original post is interesting and insightful. You clearly didn't understand it.
" Sociopaths are using anything they can, even not so dark side of someone or anything that might upset them."
We are not using "anything we can". We are exploiting weaknesses. The OP touches upon this by pointing out the sociopath's ability to expose someone's "shadow side"- to see what most people cannot. I would extrapolate this to include other hidden facets of a person's character, which might include a plethora of weaknesses, secret desires, and subconscious motivations. Do these all of these fall within Jung's definition?
"They can transform something easily and make it almost a lie to target you."
If by this you mean we can manipulate and re-frame any conversation to make you look like the unreasonable party with our clever verbal jiu-jitsu. Yes... Yes we can. :)
And perhaps you *are* unreasonable, by our standards... A sociopath who lacks self-awareness may even convince himself of his own arguments. But it doesn't matter, so long as we maintain the upper hand.
"It can happend if they don't find your dark side..."
Sociopaths embrace their shadow. We fully accept it without remorse or guilt. We are not troubles by cognitive dissonance over the contradictory traits within our fragmented personalities. We are expert compartmentalizers.
"Let's be clear, there is no real logic and they are not so skilled to see someone's dark side. They just use anything/anyword they can and is coming out of someone to break him/her."
Wrong. We are naturally adept at identifying weaknesses in others, be it through direct or indirect cues, and we are often very logical in terms of how we make those deductions.
"I do believe that when sociopaths try to break someone, they are FIRST speaking to themselves. They feel relieved just to send in the wind a "breaking" sentence..."
No. We are doing it because it is a way of exercising a form of control, influence and power, which are what motivate us.
" they don't really care how you receive it in fact, they have already forgoten what they said."
We don't forget anything that clues us in to your psychological make-up, if you interest us, for whatever reason. We store those perceptions up as nuggets, to be exploited and used should it suit our agenda.
"This kind of sentences are, I guess, coming directly from their unconcious part, the important ACT is to break the sociopath thought (it is his thought and maybe not the reality) that someone could be better/more sucessfull/nicer then him."
Wrong. We don't give a rat's ass if you are "better/more successful/nicer then" we are. We don't measure ourselves by your standards.
You think you're a nicer person than me because I'm going to start calling you on your psycho-sermons? You're probably right. How lovely for you. I don't care.
The sociopaths speaks or do, he/she has the feeling to break someone, and then feel relieves."
Wrong. I do get a rush that is almost sexual in character from making you squirm, but I don't equate a few trenchant, incisive comments with "breaking someone". Perhaps you mean "breaking down someone's ego". I prefer to think of it as a targeted dissection.
At any rate, if a few harsh truths about yourself are enough "break you", then you are probably too fragile. It would benefit you to toughen up. You're welcome. ;)
"It is an INTERNAL system, the oustside person is just an object, that's why it can be nearly anybody.
It is all about the sociopath WITH himlself...using others to calm his own anxieties."
Wrong again. Psychopaths do not tend to suffer from debilitating anxiety. A caveat: in this post, I am using the terms psychopathy and sociopathy interchangeably, but some psychologists maintain that there are sifferences. I read that some sociopaths can be anxious. I suppose it's possible.
"That's why it is very important for people in relation with sociopaths to understand very clearly this parameter, a sociopath is not acting against you as a particular person, but just because you are around, like an object which is totally interchangeable."
Can you guess what I'm going to say here? That's right! You're wrong. You have been targeted for a reason. Allow me to illustrate my point. Your grammar and syntax are atrocious. Either English is not your first language, or you have a serious deficit in terms of your ability to communicate. You don't really understand the sociopathic mindset, but you purport to speak meaningfully and authoritatively about it. That, specifically, is what makes you a target for someone like me, here.
"If people understand this they can feel little more released...it's not about what you are or do..not at all...and you'll see that if you try to fit to the sociopaths remarks, it will never change nothing."
Dumbass. If I show you your weakness, are you not better equipped to strengthen yourself?
A sociopath remark is a "ONE SECOND" attack, partly unconcious, it has not any serious ground."
We just don't take combative interactions as seriously as you. Stop being so conflict-adverse. :D
"That's maybe why also many sociopaths doesn't understand why we get upset whith their remarks...like "ohhh don't need to cry, I didn't say nothing..you always feel like a victim for everything".
Yeah. It's called "shut the fuck up and grow a pair."
Perhaps we do need to work on cultivating a more sensitive relational style. But the fact that we are *not* sensitive, coupled with the trouble we have in putting ourselves in others' shoes, compounds our natural tendency to be callous. When you get emotional and over-react to an insensitive remark, we get exasperated at your inability to function in our sphere, which has always been combative, and characterized by various forms of aggression. That is our "normal." We are used to having to fight.
"I'm nearly sure also that some sociopaths, in the next second, after a breaking sentence, realise what they have just done. Even if you didn't notice it and felt not any damage from it."
When I say what you call a "breaking sentence", I know exactly what I'm doing. And if your reaction is disproportionately dramatic, I learn something useful about you, and your triggers, that I can use to benefit or "break" you at some point in the future, if it suits me.
They might wonder why they have told such a strange thing, or that they could have been unmasked...I don't know."
... And for the first time, lala loopsy, I am compelled to exclaim "right!"
Because you clearly have no idea what you're talking about. And yet, you say volumes, with great certitude, about something you don't really comprehend.
"With sociopaths nothing is never serious. It is a way for them to protect their behavior as a "light" act. If we take them as serious people, then this is the begining of the problems for them."
Perhaps we just don't get as worked up about inconsequential stuff as you. Get over yourself and get over it. :P
You understand that the vast majority of us have had to deal with very combative environments growing up, right? If we took everything that happened to us too seriously, we'd be seriously traumatized. In many ways, sociopathy is a maladaptive defense mechanism.
"I wonder how are thinking sociopaths alone...could they be upset front of a sucessfull or gorgious person on TV? like trying to break this person front of the TV "pfff she speaks like a duck anyway"..."
This is classic projection. Somehow, I strongly suspect that *you're* the one obsessed with criticizing television personalities... I have already deduced that you are a critical busybody. :)
"Once you've understood all this you have understood that sociopaths are in big trouble with THEMSELVES. Sad but true."
^Happily, that's false.
I am not a criminal psychopath, but my father was, so I know I inherited a genetic propensity towards the disorder. My childhood was marked by abuse and a fair amount of trauma. I have a lot of sociopathic and narcissistic traits. But there is nothing "sad" about my plight.
I may be lacking the capacity to fully experience affective empathy, remorse, guilt, shame and fear, but I have other attributes and qualities. I may not feel things as profoundly, or for as long as you, but here's the thing... I don't care. I'm fine, thanks.
But you clearly aren't, considering the volumes you spout here. Who hurt or offended you so much, that you feel the need to lecture everyone about a topic you cannot personally relate to, apart from your status as a victim?
"It has nothing to do with anybody else."
That's what you'd like to think. It is surely more comforting than dissecting the real reasons you find yourself targeted, so often.
"So just look at them like people having trouble with THEMSELVES."
Saying it more emphatically doesn't make it true, Lolipop. ;)
I almost couldn't believe that you actually read through her ramblings. My masochistic streak barely manages to get me through a quick skim. That monologuing vagina (aka mouthy twat) and her condescending bullshit are simply too much for me.
I don't know who fucked her over badly enough that she felt the need to convince herself sociopaths are these pitiful creatures, in order to be able to live with herself. But she clearly has very little understanding of sociopaths. Or of borderlines for that matter, since a fair bit of what she writes can be applied to them.
I don't know if she keeps talking about it with such conviction because she NEEDS to see sociopaths as self loathing, empty and fearful... tortured animals who deserve the pity of higher beings such as herself. This way, not only does she reduce her tormentors and sociopaths in general, but she feels she elevates herself through her "understanding" and "compassion".
Behold the kind, benevolent Lala! See how she tries to help the wretched sociopathic beasts come to terms with their own pathetic nature and integrate into society. How undeniably pro-social she is!
She either doesn't understand that rambling to the sociopathic, especially in that manner, will only serve to anger and alienate them further, or else she doesn't care. Her delusions of benevolence are simply more important to her.
She doesn't want to hear the truth. Strikes me as the type to put her hands over her ears and shout "La La...I can't hear you" whenever it is offered. Fitting name she chose for herself. But I did rather enjoy seeing you give it to her :)
:) A at least you are explaining things as you see it. I find it interesting even if I don't agree on certain things. And I disagree on many sociopaths explanations.
To me, you are exploiting "what you think or see" as weaknesses. From a sociopath point of view.
As you said "And perhaps you *are* unreasonable, by our standards".
For example sociopaths consider sensitivity as a weakness, empaths as a strenght. Then from an empath point of view a sociopath could seem weak while his behavior is more like a very powerfull person. We don't see at all the powerful person, but someone playing a role that doesn't fit.
I know some of what I consider for myself weaknesses, and I'm suprised that sociopaths people I know are trying to find like "fake weaknesses" when they could see the real ones. Some people here took the time to write on this "Lala" name, and make it ridiculous...why do you even take time to write one second on it? I wrote it one day like we write ABCD... I don't care at all! It as not any importance for me!
Il looks like these people thought...humm...what could I find...ah! "Lala" it's ridiculous! Is it really all they have found??
That's partly why I don't think that sociopaths are so good at reading the "shadow part".
"A sociopath who lacks self-awareness may even convince himself of his own arguments. But it doesn't matter, so long as we maintain the upper hand." I totally agree.
(me)"I do believe that when sociopaths try to break someone, they are FIRST speaking to themselves. They feel relieved just to send in the wind a "breaking" sentence..."
(you) No. We are doing it because it is a way of exercising a form of control, influence and power, which are what motivate us.
...I agree, and have always have, but is this will for control is coming from the sky of from your brain?
"We don't measure ourselves by your standards." ... by which standards then? It is always funny to see that sociopaths are often interested with successfull people. And the more people speak about their success, the more somesociopaths are trying to break them down.
"You think you're a nicer person than me because"...it's my turn to say WRONG. I've never said I'm better than anybody. I'm speaking about experiences with sociopaths, not about me. Why do sociopaths think that people are not themselves in trouble in their own life? It's not because we don't speak about it, or I don't speak about it here, that I don't have myself a particular and difficult way to be.
"At any rate, if a few harsh truths about yourself are enough "break you", then you are probably too fragile." ... but you pretend that it is "truth" :) don't you think that I could consider that you didn't get it all?
"I read that some sociopaths can be anxious."... then maybe what I say is not so wrong...
"If I show you your weakness, are you not better equipped to strengthen yourself? "...not at all, first this is what you, you consider as a weakness! If I don't consider it as a weakness you'll not hurt me or make me feel I must strengthen anything. If you show me I'm too sensitive, for example, which is also a very good skill for some jobs, I will not tell myself "ohhh he thinks I'm too sensitive, I must really be less sensitive". I would think, it's sad for him that he has a very low sensitivy...but I won't tell you, "you must be more sensitive".
"We just don't take combative interactions as seriously as you. Stop being so conflict-adverse. :D"...hehe, it means stop being so sensitive, and then an empath would say "stop being into conflict all the time...relaxxxx". It has no end!
"When you get emotional and over-react to an insensitive remark, we get exasperated at your inability to function in our sphere"..."over react" from your point of view! Do you think that there are much more empath in the world than sociopaths? (I'm just asking I don't have the answer, ME Thomas is always speaking about sociopaths, all the other people seems to be empaths).
"We are used to having to fight." I totally understand. But why don't you fight with people who deserve it (I don't mean for me now, I totally deserve it I'm here for that :), but more generally)? I don't know, someone who spoke badly or you don't like?
"Because you clearly have no idea what you're talking about."... again from your point of view :)
"You understand that the vast majority of us have had to deal with very combative environments growing up, right? If we took everything that happened to us too seriously, we'd be seriously traumatized. In many ways, sociopathy is a maladaptive defense mechanism."... I totaly agree and some sociopaths have told me that I was perfectly WRONG on this :)
So let me doubt sometime about sociopaths ideas, but I don't mind people saying they don't agree with me and they think I'm wrong.
Sociopaths are not always in conflict mood, I spend very good moments whith sociopaths. And especially, sociopaths can open themselves about their life and sufferings... After meeting a certain number of sociopaths, you kind of start to understand the background, or you are silly.
"This is classic projection. Somehow, I strongly suspect that *you're* the one obsessed with criticizing television personalities... I have already deduced that you are a critical busybody. :) "...This is a very good example of what I said with the "lala" thing. "She is asking about TV stars criticizing and so on"....ohhh I get it, she might be doing it!! :) Don't you think that it is a very easy shortcut?
Unfortunately, no, it's not my kind of sport. I have no feeling about people being better or not better than. Conflit and critics is not something i'm doing most of the time. certainly because my personnal background is not build on these things.
"But there is nothing "sad" about my plight."... is there nothing sad, or nothing that would be expressed by a sadness kind of feeling?
"Who hurt or offended you so much, that you feel the need to lecture everyone about a topic you cannot personally relate to, apart from your status as a victim?"... ahh is this blog only for sociopaths people? What I wrote was mainly from a non-sociopath to non-sociopath people, as it looks like there are a lot here. That's why certainly sociopaths didn't apreciate it.
Anyway I think that the blog is open to anybody.
Some Empaths people are trying to understand sociopaths, because it's not a secret that there is a strange relation between the two. As I guess that some people are trying to understand empaths.
It's not much about beeing hurt, than to understand such a strange behavior.
Do you feel like empaths are "aggresive" with their sensitivity?
I'm curious also to know what you think about the fact that ME Thomas is having a therapy and trying to change, at least for a part?
Casey. Casey. Casey. Is the key. She's trapped in the house until she emerges to take photos. She's lending her image to the youngamericanroyality clothing company so she can earn some money on the side. She can eek by with all her sources of income. But why can't you see how she can help you? She could be the next big stage of your life. A book. An interview. You said your purpose was to help sociopaths. You could help the most hated!
Still charming the readers on SW, I see. You do have a way with words that goes straight to the dark heart of the matter. Like that.
Some things I don't get. If sociopaths are 'shallow' in feeling, how come the cold communications of so manyhere come off sounding hot? I smell smoke in them thar words. And how come socios are supposedly pathological liars and yet here they seem to speak unadorned truth, least when it comes to the topic of psychopathy?
And lastly, why is power and control the end-all be-all? Since you can't control much outside of your own sphere of influence and often not even that -- accidents happen to everyone -- why is so important? Do you feel diminished if you're not in power? I only ask because wielding external power, power over others, seems so ephemeral and somewhat a hollow victory. I'd rather have power over myself.
Call me curious. I do enjoy reading your thoughts.
"Still charming the readers on SW, I see. You do have a way with words that goes straight to the dark heart of the matter. Like that."
Thanks.
"Some things I don't get. If sociopaths are 'shallow' in feeling, how come the cold communications of so many here come off sounding hot? I smell smoke in them thar words."
That is a good question. I think it may be because we have learned how to effectively put people in their place. This can *sound* harsh, but our words may not reflect our actual emotional state. For instance, I often feel downright mirthful when I construct even the most biting rebuttal here.
But there is more to it, and it is a question I have often pondered. Why is my anger, although very fleeting, so disproportionately vicious when it flares up? If someone pisses me off sufficiently, I will delight in battering them below the belt. I have left people with nasty scars- both physical and psychological. I admit that I have an anger problem that I don't fully understand.
"And how come socios are supposedly pathological liars and yet here they seem to speak unadorned truth, least when it comes to the topic of psychopathy?"
I can't speak for anyone else, but I am not (exactly) a pathological liar. I will lie without guilt or compunction whenever it suits me- but I do not actively seek out excuses or opportunities to do it. In fact, I try to avoid lying when possible, although not generally for emotion-driven reasons.
I speak the "unadorned truth" here because I like that this is a place where I can reconcile all my parts.
I also enjoy thumbing my nose at the uneducated caricature many people have regarding sociopathy. Comically and ironically, the most ignorant tend to think they're best equipped to speak authoritatively on the subject. I like to express my understanding of the topic as a counter-balance to that perspective. I don't think it's so bad if I provide myself with some entertainment and comic relief in the process. XD
And lastly, why is power and control the end-all be-all? Since you can't control much outside of your own sphere of influence and often not even that -- accidents happen to everyone -- why is so important?"
It isn't that it's "so important". Obtaining power is fun.
It's like a game... with the rewards being various advantages, perks, and forms of narcissistic supply. For me, it also feels natural to seek influence and wield control. I am good at it, and I enjoy it. I am interested in exploring the subtleties and intricacies of power dynamics in every sphere of my life.
"Do you feel diminished if you're not in power?"
I'm not sure. I always seek to maintain the balance of power. I am trying to think of the last time I was in a situation where I had none. Even in my days spent as someone else's employee, I didn't hesitate to quit the moment something didn't suit me. But I never felt "diminished" on account of being in a subordinate position. Then the "game" is to obtain leverage... Right? :)
"I only ask because wielding external power, power over others, seems so ephemeral and somewhat a hollow victory."
I have leadership qualities. As I stated previously, I derive pleasure, satisfaction and several flavours of narcissistic supply from running my organization. For me, that is not a "hollow" victory, but a viscerally satisfying one. To each their pleasures and poisons.
"I'd rather have power over myself."
In some ways, I strive for self-mastery. I train hard, and am actively involved in the practice of a few sports. Through this, I am gradually cultivating what I severely lacked in terms of discipline and consistency. In other areas, I have abjectly poor impulse control. But that is just an excuse. I am a hedonist. I like to do what feels good, and though my pleasure, pain and fear circuits are all crossed, and most likely damaged- I am unburdened by guilt over the indulgence of my vices and unusual predilections, so I tend to revel in them.
Call me curious. I do enjoy reading your thoughts.
"we have learned how to effectively put people in their place"... :) Sure you rule the world, and eventually this blog too!
A distorted image of yourself. Your power sensation is just a sensation you have and that nobody else think you have.
As you said, the distorted image of the sociopaths allowed them to survive in difficult conditions. But from an outside point of view we do not see a powerful person, it's just the way the sociopath sees himself, thinking to have an effect on others. That's why many people are not interested with sociopaths, not because they are afraid, but because there is a strong mismatch between what the sociopath claims and who/what we see in front of us.
But of course, if we try to break that image, it does not suit you at all!
Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I especially chuckled reading "I will delight in battering them below the belt." As a student of the art of debate, I understand this completely. I, too, have a wicked tongue that, once ignited, can lash others to the bone. Depending on the circumstances it may or may not be a game, however.
Lately I've been studying non-violent communication, trying to discipline my verbal jousts via the injection of more compassion. I've discovered a certain satisfaction from the soft erosion that occurs in opponents who don't quite know what to do when your arguments are sharp but sympathetic. On the other hand, there's nothing quite like a bloody battle of words; what's vital to me in the end is how much truth can mined from such exchanges.
More later -- a company of wolves has just arrived and I'd better cook them breakfast before I'm tossed with the bacon into the oven..
Regarding the not hollow but visceral satisfaction you take in your work: Surely we all take pleasure in doing a good job in whatever activity we invest ourselves. I was referring to more to the dynamics in personal exchanges. If, for instance, I manipulate someone into falling in love, I don't feel loved at all, because the person doesn't love me for whom I am, warts and all. So in those types of exchanges I don't game, because what turns my crank is authenticity, which is reality. I guess you could say I'm a reality hedonist. Emotional flash and devotion do nothing to stir my desire.
Now in a courtroom, a boardroom, in any other sort of consensual sparring, is an entirely different matter. Abstract arguments sprinkled with bits of poetic analogies and fiery jabs is, as you say, highly entertaining.
One man's poison is another man's elixir. Sparring is fun but not always fruitful; I try to balance things by allowing people's words to change me, at least temporarily, just to see things from their side as thoroughly as possible. So long, that is, that they are not too much of a dolt, or just plain annoying.
"Sure you rule the world, and eventually this blog too!
A distorted image of yourself. Your power sensation is just a sensation you have and that nobody else think you have."
There you go again, making unfounded assumptions about me, on the basis of a stereotypical caricature you have of what a "typical" sociopath is and isn't.
This is M.E.'s blog. I just interact with other posters here. I don't intend to rule it- although I certainly hold my own in the discussions and debates in which I participate. Can this be called "exercising influence"? Perhaps, if you count pwning a bunch of anonymous strangers in stupid arguments over the internet. XD
I exercise power, authority and influence only in the areas where I have chosen to earn and/or cultivate them. As the founder and president of my organization, I *do* call the shots within a particular sphere. This is not just a power sensation you have and that nobody else think you have"- it is an objectively verifiable fact.
"A distorted image of yourself. Your power sensation is just a sensation you have and that nobody else think you have."
Wrong. If sociopaths were not charmingly powerful they would not inhabit the halls of power. They know how to make incisive, cohesive arguments, based on science, knowledge of neurology and an uncanny. retrograde sensitivity to emotive states in others they encounter. Countless studies listed on this blog and elsewhere confirm this. You, on the other hand, demonstrate an emotional IQ lacking in rational objectivity. I hate telling you this, but your posts reek of neurological pompousness, prejudice and ignorance.
Not to worry.
We're all damaged by the shallow, biased values hawked by Western, Imperialist culture. I'm sure you'll get over it eventually.
Regarding the not hollow but visceral satisfaction you take in your work: Surely we all take pleasure in doing a good job in whatever activity we invest ourselves."
Yes. But I have never managed to stay invested in something that was not mine.
"I was referring to more to the dynamics in personal exchanges. If, for instance, I manipulate someone into falling in love, I don't feel loved at all, because the person doesn't love me for whom I am, warts and all."
I absolutely concur. I have been married for over a decade to my best friend. He knows all of my warts. I could not have fallen in love with someone who allowed me manipulate him, or run him roughshod. I burned through many such relationships in the past, and ultimately trashed them all, because "love" has a very pragmatic quality for me. I might lust after them, I may delight in seducing them, but my bottom line is that I will not fall in love with someone I do not respect, or who doesn't respect me.
"So in those types of exchanges I don't game, because what turns my crank is authenticity, which is reality."
Oh, yes. The people who fall into that category for me are precious few. I can count them on one hand.
"I guess you could say I'm a reality hedonist. Emotional flash and devotion do nothing to stir my desire."
Someone who devotedly lusts after me- for whom and what I am, including all of my rough edges, and unusual predilections- might stir my desire.
I am with someone who knows all of my parts, but who does not fully accept some of them. For years, he denied their existence. He thought certain things about me would change, but he was wrong. He is learning to live with that. He challenges me in ways that sometimes infuriate me, but which ultimately help me to grow. It warrants mentioning that he is not particularly empathetic.
"Now in a courtroom, a boardroom, in any other sort of consensual sparring, is an entirely different matter. Abstract arguments sprinkled with bits of poetic analogies and fiery jabs is, as you say, highly entertaining."
It most certainly is delicious. Not unlike the manner in which you express yourself so concisely. You are very charming.
"One man's poison is another man's elixir. Sparring is fun but not always fruitful; I try to balance things by allowing people's words to change me, at least temporarily, just to see things from their side as thoroughly as possible."
It is often not fruitful at all... But it is good for the boredom that ails me. ;)
I adopt a similar approach when I interface with ideas and concepts which differ vastly from my own. I unerringly and some would say irritatingly play the devil's advocate. This is because my preferred strategy for testing the robustness and validity of arguments is to attack and attempt to dismantle them. I like to try on different perspectives, but I fall short of allowing them to change my belief and value system entirely. Instead, I entertain questions, assume their validity until I can dismiss or disprove them, and see how my chosen paradigm holds up. In this way, the shifts and refinements to my worldview are gradual, moving towards an apex, as opposed to being drastically reshaped and rebuilt every so often.
"So long, that is, that they are not too much of a dolt, or just plain annoying."
I do enjoy reading your thoughts. Call me curious. What does Dr. Jekyll look like? ;)
Mr Hyde, "If sociopaths were not charmingly powerful they would not inhabit the halls of power."... I don't think that all sociopaths inhabit the halls of power, sorry. I guess most of them are trying to be powerfull at their own level an social surrounding, not always much successful. And all sociopaths, as empaths, as anybody else, are not highly intelligent.
For the rest, about me, this is your idea. Many people have different ideas about me, I have my own ideas. Many people have ideas about you, about A... anybody can. It's not a problem for me.
"I have never managed to stay invested in something that was not mine."
Really? I feel quite different . . . I'm invested in quite a few things that aren't mine. The Wild, for one. I would likely die to protect it if circumstances ever combine with certain moods. I'm fiercely passionate about the beings and stuff I love. And a bit too spontaneous for my own good, I'm sure.
Thank you for the charming compliment. Takes one to know one.
We are also very similar in the way we adopt different perspectives and enjoy playing devil's advocate.
Jekyll is tall, fit and handsome, with big green gleaming cat eyes. I've been told I'm very alluring but sometimes too fiery and frank.
Lala,
Of course not all sociopaths are smart or powerful. However, given the intelligence and gaming skills required to succeed in corporations, on Wall St. and in politics, I think it's safe to say that a large percentage of the smart ones do tend to gravitate towards the top of the food chain.
For the rest . . . it's not about you, me, etc. It's about sharing ideas in a way that fosters intelligent discussion.
I totally agree Mr. Hyde. But not any of the sociopaths I really know, are dealing with corporations, Wall st. and politics. They look more like in the nostalgy of a power that they couldn't reach. I'm sure I've seen some of the sociopaths you're speaking about in my work environment, but the seduction is not having effect on me, and I think I'm not interesting for them either.
I'm very excited sharing this amazing testimony about how i save my marriage and get my husband back today, My name is Becky Miller , I live in Los Angeles, California, I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with three kids. A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{salvationlovetemple@gmail.comm}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past seven 9 months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website { http://lovespelltemple.weebly.com/. } if you have any problem contact Dr Sam ,{ salvationlovetemple@gmail.com }, thanks you Dr Sam, i will always be testifying about your good work.
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Please i want you all to read this amazing testimony very carefully is about how i save my marriage and get my husband back today, My name is Becky Miller , I live in Los Angeles, California, I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with three kids. A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past seven 9 months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website { http://lovespelldrbrave.weebly.com/. } if you have any problem contact Dr Brave ,{ bravespellcaster@gmail.com }, thanks you Dr Brave, i will always be testifying about your good work.
Greeting be unto Dr. Ukaka the great man and ever, my name is Silvia Quelal from California. since 6 months I have witness what is called heart broken. my boyfriend that promised me marriage failed me and impregnate me and leave,he dump me,he stop calling" he stop picking my calls,and he no longer respond to me. I have be looking for solution,I fall into the hands of fake spell caster,they rough me off and took my money without help.I have cried,I have weep"and tears runs out of eyes. The silentness in my heart brought me to the deepest path of failure that I lost my job. Crying all day,because of my life was lonely. So thanks to Ukaka that came into my life and brought me the greatest joy that was lost. I saw his mail while browsing and I contact and tell him what I am passing through with no doubt because what saw about him,was enough to believe. And I was given words of solution on what to do. I can't really help thinking about it I have tried to see what I can do, I manage to provide him some materials and he help me with the rest,after casting the spell, 12hrs later he came with rose on his hand and I was even about going out,i saw him in front of my door when he sees me he knee and said he is dying I should forgive him and accept him back he was crying,I can't wait to let him finish I quickly crab him and kiss him, just then" he said he is restless without me, just as the prophet has said he will be. He brought out a ring and put it on my hand. Our wedding day was scheduled,1week after we got married. today makes it 2weeks and we are living happily I don't know how to praise him enough, he has done me a thing I can never forget. And I can't really share to myself alone, I want y'all to help me praise him because if it is wasn't for him I already plan of committing suicide. But right now I am now so happy more than I was before. And you out there crying for help you've already got one,Ukaka is the man that you need in all rampart. contact his address if you need his service, freedomlovespell@hotmail.com also contact him on his web site: freedomlovespelltemple.yolasite.com
Hello everyone out here, am here to tell the world how a spell caster brought my husband back Home, i never thought that spell casters are real, until my husband left me. My name is Serena Williams, i work and live in UK, i got married to my husband 12 years ago, we have 3 kid together, we never have any misunderstanding all this years we lived happily,but all of a sudden he changed and started treating my kids and i very bad, later he stooped coming home, he dose not come home at least month, this really bothered me.
I was browsing through the net one day when a came across on how Lord Micheal saved a woman called Mandy Diana marriage, i aid let me give him a try on this, i never believed in spell casting before i thought that they were all scam, when i contacted him, he told me not to worry that he will help me, surprisingly he told me that my husband will come back to me in the next 24 hours, with a heart full o doubt, it was a shock that my husband came back to me and started begging that he is sorry, and now we are happy once again. Thank you LORD MICHEAL, and if you are going through this kind of problem, here is his email LORDMICHEALSPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM.He can help you solve your problem.Thank you LORD MICHEAL for restoring my marriage.
Why are you talking about Durst when you could be talking about Casey?
ReplyDeleteIt's too late for Durst. He can't put money in your pocket. But an alliance with
Casey Anthony can. She's free. Link your fortunes with her, by writing a book
with her, or giving her a job.
The living labatory of a murderous sociopath is yours for the taking, and you let
the oppertunity pass. You BOTH can profit. Get on with it!
No direct relation but a simple and interesting sociopath interview:
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWblEwKJDlo
This is regarding a post you made to yesterday's blog entry, so I'm a bit late to the party too, but your ramblings are starting to annoy me, because they are so chock-full of crap that to refrain from dissecting and shredding them amounts to a public disservice.
DeleteYou see? My motivations for breaking down this post and exposing all the little turds it contains are very "pro-social". :)
"I don't agree much,"
Of course not. The original post is interesting and insightful. You clearly didn't understand it.
" Sociopaths are using anything they can, even not so dark side of someone or anything that might upset them."
We are not using "anything we can". We are exploiting weaknesses. The OP touches upon this by pointing out the sociopath's ability to expose someone's "shadow side"- to see what most people cannot. I would extrapolate this to include other hidden facets of a person's character, which might include a plethora of weaknesses, secret desires, and subconscious motivations. Do these all of these fall within Jung's definition?
"They can transform something easily and make it almost a lie to target you."
If by this you mean we can manipulate and re-frame any conversation to make you look like the unreasonable party with our clever verbal jiu-jitsu. Yes... Yes we can. :)
And perhaps you *are* unreasonable, by our standards... A sociopath who lacks self-awareness may even convince himself of his own arguments. But it doesn't matter, so long as we maintain the upper hand.
"It can happend if they don't find your dark side..."
Sociopaths embrace their shadow. We fully accept it without remorse or guilt. We are not troubles by cognitive dissonance over the contradictory traits within our fragmented personalities. We are expert compartmentalizers.
"Let's be clear, there is no real logic and they are not so skilled to see someone's dark side. They just use anything/anyword they can and is coming out of someone to break him/her."
Wrong. We are naturally adept at identifying weaknesses in others, be it through direct or indirect cues, and we are often very logical in terms of how we make those deductions.
"I do believe that when sociopaths try to break someone, they are FIRST speaking to themselves. They feel relieved just to send in the wind a "breaking" sentence..."
No. We are doing it because it is a way of exercising a form of control, influence and power, which are what motivate us.
" they don't really care how you receive it in fact, they have already forgoten what they said."
We don't forget anything that clues us in to your psychological make-up, if you interest us, for whatever reason. We store those perceptions up as nuggets, to be exploited and used should it suit our agenda.
"This kind of sentences are, I guess, coming directly from their unconcious part, the important ACT is to break the sociopath thought (it is his thought and maybe not the reality) that someone could be better/more sucessfull/nicer then him."
Wrong. We don't give a rat's ass if you are "better/more successful/nicer then" we are. We don't measure ourselves by your standards.
You think you're a nicer person than me because I'm going to start calling you on your psycho-sermons? You're probably right. How lovely for you. I don't care.
The sociopaths speaks or do, he/she has the feeling to break someone, and then feel relieves."
DeleteWrong. I do get a rush that is almost sexual in character from making you squirm, but I don't equate a few trenchant, incisive comments with "breaking someone". Perhaps you mean "breaking down someone's ego". I prefer to think of it as a targeted dissection.
At any rate, if a few harsh truths about yourself are enough "break you", then you are probably too fragile. It would benefit you to toughen up. You're welcome. ;)
"It is an INTERNAL system, the oustside person is just an object, that's why it can be nearly anybody.
It is all about the sociopath WITH himlself...using others to calm his own anxieties."
Wrong again. Psychopaths do not tend to suffer from debilitating anxiety. A caveat: in this post, I am using the terms psychopathy and sociopathy interchangeably, but some psychologists maintain that there are sifferences. I read that some sociopaths can be anxious. I suppose it's possible.
"That's why it is very important for people in relation with sociopaths to understand very clearly this parameter, a sociopath is not acting against you as a particular person, but just because you are around, like an object which is totally interchangeable."
Can you guess what I'm going to say here? That's right! You're wrong. You have been targeted for a reason. Allow me to illustrate my point. Your grammar and syntax are atrocious. Either English is not your first language, or you have a serious deficit in terms of your ability to communicate. You don't really understand the sociopathic mindset, but you purport to speak meaningfully and authoritatively about it. That, specifically, is what makes you a target for someone like me, here.
"If people understand this they can feel little more released...it's not about what you are or do..not at all...and you'll see that if you try to fit to the sociopaths remarks, it will never change nothing."
Dumbass. If I show you your weakness, are you not better equipped to strengthen yourself?
A sociopath remark is a "ONE SECOND" attack, partly unconcious, it has not any serious ground."
DeleteWe just don't take combative interactions as seriously as you. Stop being so conflict-adverse. :D
"That's maybe why also many sociopaths doesn't understand why we get upset whith their remarks...like "ohhh don't need to cry, I didn't say nothing..you always feel like a victim for everything".
Yeah. It's called "shut the fuck up and grow a pair."
Perhaps we do need to work on cultivating a more sensitive relational style. But the fact that we are *not* sensitive, coupled with the trouble we have in putting ourselves in others' shoes, compounds our natural tendency to be callous. When you get emotional and over-react to an insensitive remark, we get exasperated at your inability to function in our sphere, which has always been combative, and characterized by various forms of aggression. That is our "normal." We are used to having to fight.
"I'm nearly sure also that some sociopaths, in the next second, after a breaking sentence, realise what they have just done. Even if you didn't notice it and felt not any damage from it."
When I say what you call a "breaking sentence", I know exactly what I'm doing. And if your reaction is disproportionately dramatic, I learn something useful about you, and your triggers, that I can use to benefit or "break" you at some point in the future, if it suits me.
They might wonder why they have told such a strange thing, or that they could have been unmasked...I don't know."
Delete... And for the first time, lala loopsy, I am compelled to exclaim "right!"
Because you clearly have no idea what you're talking about. And yet, you say volumes, with great certitude, about something you don't really comprehend.
"With sociopaths nothing is never serious. It is a way for them to protect their behavior as a "light" act. If we take them as serious people, then this is the begining of the problems for them."
Perhaps we just don't get as worked up about inconsequential stuff as you. Get over yourself and get over it. :P
You understand that the vast majority of us have had to deal with very combative environments growing up, right? If we took everything that happened to us too seriously, we'd be seriously traumatized. In many ways, sociopathy is a maladaptive defense mechanism.
"I wonder how are thinking sociopaths alone...could they be upset front of a sucessfull or gorgious person on TV? like trying to break this person front of the TV "pfff she speaks like a duck anyway"..."
This is classic projection. Somehow, I strongly suspect that *you're* the one obsessed with criticizing television personalities... I have already deduced that you are a critical busybody. :)
"Once you've understood all this you have understood that sociopaths are in big trouble with THEMSELVES. Sad but true."
^Happily, that's false.
I am not a criminal psychopath, but my father was, so I know I inherited a genetic propensity towards the disorder. My childhood was marked by abuse and a fair amount of trauma. I have a lot of sociopathic and narcissistic traits. But there is nothing "sad" about my plight.
I may be lacking the capacity to fully experience affective empathy, remorse, guilt, shame and fear, but I have other attributes and qualities. I may not feel things as profoundly, or for as long as you, but here's the thing... I don't care. I'm fine, thanks.
But you clearly aren't, considering the volumes you spout here. Who hurt or offended you so much, that you feel the need to lecture everyone about a topic you cannot personally relate to, apart from your status as a victim?
"It has nothing to do with anybody else."
That's what you'd like to think. It is surely more comforting than dissecting the real reasons you find yourself targeted, so often.
"So just look at them like people having trouble with THEMSELVES."
Saying it more emphatically doesn't make it true, Lolipop. ;)
Very nicely said indeed, A.
DeleteI almost couldn't believe that you actually read through her ramblings. My masochistic streak barely manages to get me through a quick skim.
That monologuing vagina (aka mouthy twat) and her condescending bullshit are simply too much for me.
I don't know who fucked her over badly enough that she felt the need to convince herself sociopaths are these pitiful creatures, in order to be able to live with herself.
But she clearly has very little understanding of sociopaths. Or of borderlines for that matter, since a fair bit of what she writes can be applied to them.
I don't know if she keeps talking about it with such conviction because she NEEDS to see sociopaths as self loathing, empty and fearful... tortured animals who deserve the pity of higher beings such as herself.
This way, not only does she reduce her tormentors and sociopaths in general, but she feels she elevates herself through her "understanding" and "compassion".
Behold the kind, benevolent Lala! See how she tries to help the wretched sociopathic beasts come to terms with their own pathetic nature and integrate into society.
How undeniably pro-social she is!
She either doesn't understand that rambling to the sociopathic, especially in that manner, will only serve to anger and alienate them further, or else she doesn't care. Her delusions of benevolence are simply more important to her.
She doesn't want to hear the truth.
Strikes me as the type to put her hands over her ears and shout "La La...I can't hear you" whenever it is offered. Fitting name she chose for herself.
But I did rather enjoy seeing you give it to her :)
Kat
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteSee, I went to Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, and Po when I saw that moniker ;)
Delete:)
DeleteA at least you are explaining things as you see it. I find it interesting even if I don't agree on certain things.
And I disagree on many sociopaths explanations.
To me, you are exploiting "what you think or see" as weaknesses. From a sociopath point of view.
As you said "And perhaps you *are* unreasonable, by our standards".
For example sociopaths consider sensitivity as a weakness, empaths as a strenght. Then from an empath point of view a sociopath could seem weak while his behavior is more like a very powerfull person. We don't see at all the powerful person, but someone playing a role that doesn't fit.
I know some of what I consider for myself weaknesses, and I'm suprised that sociopaths people I know are trying to find like "fake weaknesses" when they could see the real ones.
Some people here took the time to write on this "Lala" name, and make it ridiculous...why do you even take time to write one second on it? I wrote it one day like we write ABCD... I don't care at all! It as not any importance for me!
Il looks like these people thought...humm...what could I find...ah! "Lala" it's ridiculous! Is it really all they have found??
That's partly why I don't think that sociopaths are so good at reading the "shadow part".
"A sociopath who lacks self-awareness may even convince himself of his own arguments. But it doesn't matter, so long as we maintain the upper hand." I totally agree.
(me)"I do believe that when sociopaths try to break someone, they are FIRST speaking to themselves. They feel relieved just to send in the wind a "breaking" sentence..."
(you) No. We are doing it because it is a way of exercising a form of control, influence and power, which are what motivate us.
...I agree, and have always have, but is this will for control is coming from the sky of from your brain?
"We don't measure ourselves by your standards." ... by which standards then? It is always funny to see that sociopaths are often interested with successfull people. And the more people speak about their success, the more somesociopaths are trying to break them down.
"You think you're a nicer person than me because"...it's my turn to say WRONG. I've never said I'm better than anybody. I'm speaking about experiences with sociopaths, not about me.
Why do sociopaths think that people are not themselves in trouble in their own life? It's not because we don't speak about it, or I don't speak about it here, that I don't have myself a particular and difficult way to be.
"At any rate, if a few harsh truths about yourself are enough "break you", then you are probably too fragile." ... but you pretend that it is "truth" :) don't you think that I could consider that you didn't get it all?
"I read that some sociopaths can be anxious."... then maybe what I say is not so wrong...
"If I show you your weakness, are you not better equipped to strengthen yourself? "...not at all, first this is what you, you consider as a weakness! If I don't consider it as a weakness you'll not hurt me or make me feel I must strengthen anything.
DeleteIf you show me I'm too sensitive, for example, which is also a very good skill for some jobs, I will not tell myself "ohhh he thinks I'm too sensitive, I must really be less sensitive". I would think, it's sad for him that he has a very low sensitivy...but I won't tell you, "you must be more sensitive".
"We just don't take combative interactions as seriously as you. Stop being so conflict-adverse. :D"...hehe, it means stop being so sensitive, and then an empath would say "stop being into conflict all the time...relaxxxx". It has no end!
"When you get emotional and over-react to an insensitive remark, we get exasperated at your inability to function in our sphere"..."over react" from your point of view!
Do you think that there are much more empath in the world than sociopaths? (I'm just asking I don't have the answer, ME Thomas is always speaking about sociopaths, all the other people seems to be empaths).
"We are used to having to fight." I totally understand.
But why don't you fight with people who deserve it (I don't mean for me now, I totally deserve it I'm here for that :), but more generally)?
I don't know, someone who spoke badly or you don't like?
"Because you clearly have no idea what you're talking about."... again from your point of view :)
"You understand that the vast majority of us have had to deal with very combative environments growing up, right? If we took everything that happened to us too seriously, we'd be seriously traumatized. In many ways, sociopathy is a maladaptive defense mechanism."... I totaly agree and some sociopaths have told me that I was perfectly WRONG on this :)
So let me doubt sometime about sociopaths ideas, but I don't mind people saying they don't agree with me and they think I'm wrong.
Sociopaths are not always in conflict mood, I spend very good moments whith sociopaths. And especially, sociopaths can open themselves about their life and sufferings...
After meeting a certain number of sociopaths, you kind of start to understand the background, or you are silly.
"This is classic projection. Somehow, I strongly suspect that *you're* the one obsessed with criticizing television personalities... I have already deduced that you are a critical busybody. :) "...This is a very good example of what I said with the "lala" thing. "She is asking about TV stars criticizing and so on"....ohhh I get it, she might be doing it!!
Delete:) Don't you think that it is a very easy shortcut?
Unfortunately, no, it's not my kind of sport.
I have no feeling about people being better or not better than.
Conflit and critics is not something i'm doing most of the time.
certainly because my personnal background is not build on these things.
"But there is nothing "sad" about my plight."... is there nothing sad, or nothing that would be expressed by a sadness kind of feeling?
"Who hurt or offended you so much, that you feel the need to lecture everyone about a topic you cannot personally relate to, apart from your status as a victim?"... ahh is this blog only for sociopaths people?
What I wrote was mainly from a non-sociopath to non-sociopath people, as it looks like there are a lot here. That's why certainly sociopaths didn't apreciate it.
Anyway I think that the blog is open to anybody.
Some Empaths people are trying to understand sociopaths, because it's not a secret that there is a strange relation between the two.
As I guess that some people are trying to understand empaths.
It's not much about beeing hurt, than to understand such a strange behavior.
Do you feel like empaths are "aggresive" with their sensitivity?
I'm curious also to know what you think about the fact that ME Thomas is having a therapy and trying to change, at least for a part?
lawyer: Do you know why Douglass Durst hired a bodyguard?
ReplyDeleteFred Durst: Cause he's a pussy.
He does not give one single fuck.
Casey. Casey. Casey. Is the key. She's trapped in the house until she
ReplyDeleteemerges to take photos. She's lending her image to the youngamericanroyality
clothing company so she can earn some money on the side. She can eek by with
all her sources of income. But why can't you see how she can help you?
She could be the next big stage of your life. A book. An interview.
You said your purpose was to help sociopaths. You could help the most hated!
A,
ReplyDeleteStill charming the readers on SW, I see. You do have a way with words that goes straight to the dark heart of the matter. Like that.
Some things I don't get. If sociopaths are 'shallow' in feeling, how come the cold communications of so manyhere come off sounding hot? I smell smoke in them thar words. And how come socios are supposedly pathological liars and yet here they seem to speak unadorned truth, least when it comes to the topic of psychopathy?
And lastly, why is power and control the end-all be-all? Since you can't control much outside of your own sphere of influence and often not even that -- accidents happen to everyone -- why is so important? Do you feel diminished if you're not in power? I only ask because wielding external power, power over others, seems so ephemeral and somewhat a hollow victory. I'd rather have power over myself.
Call me curious. I do enjoy reading your thoughts.
Mr Hyde.
"Still charming the readers on SW, I see. You do have a way with words that goes straight to the dark heart of the matter. Like that."
DeleteThanks.
"Some things I don't get. If sociopaths are 'shallow' in feeling, how come the cold communications of so many here come off sounding hot? I smell smoke in them thar words."
That is a good question. I think it may be because we have learned how to effectively put people in their place. This can *sound* harsh, but our words may not reflect our actual emotional state. For instance, I often feel downright mirthful when I construct even the most biting rebuttal here.
But there is more to it, and it is a question I have often pondered. Why is my anger, although very fleeting, so disproportionately vicious when it flares up? If someone pisses me off sufficiently, I will delight in battering them below the belt. I have left people with nasty scars- both physical and psychological. I admit that I have an anger problem that I don't fully understand.
"And how come socios are supposedly pathological liars and yet here they seem to speak unadorned truth, least when it comes to the topic of psychopathy?"
I can't speak for anyone else, but I am not (exactly) a pathological liar. I will lie without guilt or compunction whenever it suits me- but I do not actively seek out excuses or opportunities to do it. In fact, I try to avoid lying when possible, although not generally for emotion-driven reasons.
I speak the "unadorned truth" here because I like that this is a place where I can reconcile all my parts.
I also enjoy thumbing my nose at the uneducated caricature many people have regarding sociopathy. Comically and ironically, the most ignorant tend to think they're best equipped to speak authoritatively on the subject. I like to express my understanding of the topic as a counter-balance to that perspective. I don't think it's so bad if I provide myself with some entertainment and comic relief in the process. XD
And lastly, why is power and control the end-all be-all? Since you can't control much outside of your own sphere of influence and often not even that -- accidents happen to everyone -- why is so important?"
DeleteIt isn't that it's "so important". Obtaining power is fun.
It's like a game... with the rewards being various advantages, perks, and forms of narcissistic supply. For me, it also feels natural to seek influence and wield control. I am good at it, and I enjoy it. I am interested in exploring the subtleties and intricacies of power dynamics in every sphere of my life.
"Do you feel diminished if you're not in power?"
I'm not sure. I always seek to maintain the balance of power. I am trying to think of the last time I was in a situation where I had none. Even in my days spent as someone else's employee, I didn't hesitate to quit the moment something didn't suit me. But I never felt "diminished" on account of being in a subordinate position. Then the "game" is to obtain leverage... Right? :)
"I only ask because wielding external power, power over others, seems so ephemeral and somewhat a hollow victory."
I have leadership qualities. As I stated previously, I derive pleasure, satisfaction and several flavours of narcissistic supply from running my organization. For me, that is not a "hollow" victory, but a viscerally satisfying one. To each their pleasures and poisons.
"I'd rather have power over myself."
In some ways, I strive for self-mastery. I train hard, and am actively involved in the practice of a few sports. Through this, I am gradually cultivating what I severely lacked in terms of discipline and consistency. In other areas, I have abjectly poor impulse control. But that is just an excuse. I am a hedonist. I like to do what feels good, and though my pleasure, pain and fear circuits are all crossed, and most likely damaged- I am unburdened by guilt over the indulgence of my vices and unusual predilections, so I tend to revel in them.
Call me curious. I do enjoy reading your thoughts.
Why thank-you.
May I look forward to reading more of yours?
"we have learned how to effectively put people in their place"... :)
DeleteSure you rule the world, and eventually this blog too!
A distorted image of yourself. Your power sensation is just a sensation you have and that nobody else think you have.
As you said, the distorted image of the sociopaths allowed them to survive in difficult conditions.
But from an outside point of view we do not see a powerful person, it's just the way the sociopath sees himself, thinking to have an effect on others.
That's why many people are not interested with sociopaths, not because they are afraid, but because there is a strong mismatch between what the sociopath claims and who/what we see in front of us.
But of course, if we try to break that image, it does not suit you at all!
An interesting link, not for A as he/she already knows everything about everything :)
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sU305NqXT94
Good Morning A,
DeleteThank you for your thoughtful reply. I especially chuckled reading "I will delight in battering them below the belt." As a student of the art of debate, I understand this completely. I, too, have a wicked tongue that, once ignited, can lash others to the bone. Depending on the circumstances it may or may not be a game, however.
Lately I've been studying non-violent communication, trying to discipline my verbal jousts via the injection of more compassion. I've discovered a certain satisfaction from the soft erosion that occurs in opponents who don't quite know what to do when your arguments are sharp but sympathetic. On the other hand, there's nothing quite like a bloody battle of words; what's vital to me in the end is how much truth can mined from such exchanges.
More later -- a company of wolves has just arrived and I'd better cook them breakfast before I'm tossed with the bacon into the oven..
Mr. Hyde
A,
DeleteRegarding the not hollow but visceral satisfaction you take in your work: Surely we all take pleasure in doing a good job in whatever activity we invest ourselves. I was referring to more to the dynamics in personal exchanges. If, for instance, I manipulate someone into falling in love, I don't feel loved at all, because the person doesn't love me for whom I am, warts and all. So in those types of exchanges I don't game, because what turns my crank is authenticity, which is reality. I guess you could say I'm a reality hedonist. Emotional flash and devotion do nothing to stir my desire.
Now in a courtroom, a boardroom, in any other sort of consensual sparring, is an entirely different matter. Abstract arguments sprinkled with bits of poetic analogies and fiery jabs is, as you say, highly entertaining.
One man's poison is another man's elixir. Sparring is fun but not always fruitful; I try to balance things by allowing people's words to change me, at least temporarily, just to see things from their side as thoroughly as possible. So long, that is, that they are not too much of a dolt, or just plain annoying.
Hyde
"Sure you rule the world, and eventually this blog too!
DeleteA distorted image of yourself. Your power sensation is just a sensation you have and that nobody else think you have."
There you go again, making unfounded assumptions about me, on the basis of a stereotypical caricature you have of what a "typical" sociopath is and isn't.
This is M.E.'s blog. I just interact with other posters here. I don't intend to rule it- although I certainly hold my own in the discussions and debates in which I participate. Can this be called "exercising influence"? Perhaps, if you count pwning a bunch of anonymous strangers in stupid arguments over the internet. XD
I exercise power, authority and influence only in the areas where I have chosen to earn and/or cultivate them. As the founder and president of my organization, I *do* call the shots within a particular sphere. This is not just a power sensation you have and that nobody else think you have"- it is an objectively verifiable fact.
Lala,
Delete"A distorted image of yourself. Your power sensation is just a sensation you have and that nobody else think you have."
Wrong. If sociopaths were not charmingly powerful they would not inhabit the halls of power. They know how to make incisive, cohesive arguments, based on science, knowledge of neurology and an uncanny. retrograde sensitivity to emotive states in others they encounter. Countless studies listed on this blog and elsewhere confirm this. You, on the other hand, demonstrate an emotional IQ lacking in rational objectivity. I hate telling you this, but your posts reek of neurological pompousness, prejudice and ignorance.
Not to worry.
We're all damaged by the shallow, biased values hawked by Western, Imperialist culture. I'm sure you'll get over it eventually.
Mr. Hyde
Regarding the not hollow but visceral satisfaction you take in your work: Surely we all take pleasure in doing a good job in whatever activity we invest ourselves."
DeleteYes. But I have never managed to stay invested in something that was not mine.
"I was referring to more to the dynamics in personal exchanges. If, for instance, I manipulate someone into falling in love, I don't feel loved at all, because the person doesn't love me for whom I am, warts and all."
I absolutely concur. I have been married for over a decade to my best friend. He knows all of my warts. I could not have fallen in love with someone who allowed me manipulate him, or run him roughshod. I burned through many such relationships in the past, and ultimately trashed them all, because "love" has a very pragmatic quality for me. I might lust after them, I may delight in seducing them, but my bottom line is that I will not fall in love with someone I do not respect, or who doesn't respect me.
"So in those types of exchanges I don't game, because what turns my crank is authenticity, which is reality."
Oh, yes. The people who fall into that category for me are precious few. I can count them on one hand.
"I guess you could say I'm a reality hedonist. Emotional flash and devotion do nothing to stir my desire."
Someone who devotedly lusts after me- for whom and what I am, including all of my rough edges, and unusual predilections- might stir my desire.
I am with someone who knows all of my parts, but who does not fully accept some of them. For years, he denied their existence. He thought certain things about me would change, but he was wrong. He is learning to live with that. He challenges me in ways that sometimes infuriate me, but which ultimately help me to grow. It warrants mentioning that he is not particularly empathetic.
"Now in a courtroom, a boardroom, in any other sort of consensual sparring, is an entirely different matter. Abstract arguments sprinkled with bits of poetic analogies and fiery jabs is, as you say, highly entertaining."
It most certainly is delicious. Not unlike the manner in which you express yourself so concisely. You are very charming.
"One man's poison is another man's elixir. Sparring is fun but not always fruitful; I try to balance things by allowing people's words to change me, at least temporarily, just to see things from their side as thoroughly as possible."
It is often not fruitful at all... But it is good for the boredom that ails me. ;)
I adopt a similar approach when I interface with ideas and concepts which differ vastly from my own. I unerringly and some would say irritatingly play the devil's advocate. This is because my preferred strategy for testing the robustness and validity of arguments is to attack and attempt to dismantle them. I like to try on different perspectives, but I fall short of allowing them to change my belief and value system entirely. Instead, I entertain questions, assume their validity until I can dismiss or disprove them, and see how my chosen paradigm holds up. In this way, the shifts and refinements to my worldview are gradual, moving towards an apex, as opposed to being drastically reshaped and rebuilt every so often.
"So long, that is, that they are not too much of a dolt, or just plain annoying."
I do enjoy reading your thoughts. Call me curious. What does Dr. Jekyll look like? ;)
Mr Hyde,
Delete"If sociopaths were not charmingly powerful they would not inhabit the halls of power."... I don't think that all sociopaths inhabit the halls of power, sorry.
I guess most of them are trying to be powerfull at their own level an social surrounding, not always much successful. And all sociopaths, as empaths, as anybody else, are not highly intelligent.
For the rest, about me, this is your idea. Many people have different ideas about me, I have my own ideas. Many people have ideas about you, about A... anybody can. It's not a problem for me.
A,
Delete"I have never managed to stay invested in something that was not mine."
Really? I feel quite different . . . I'm invested in quite a few things that aren't mine. The Wild, for one. I would likely die to protect it if circumstances ever combine with certain moods. I'm fiercely passionate about the beings and stuff I love. And a bit too spontaneous for my own good, I'm sure.
Thank you for the charming compliment. Takes one to know one.
We are also very similar in the way we adopt different perspectives and enjoy playing devil's advocate.
Jekyll is tall, fit and handsome, with big green gleaming cat eyes. I've been told I'm very alluring but sometimes too fiery and frank.
Lala,
Of course not all sociopaths are smart or powerful. However, given the intelligence and gaming skills required to succeed in corporations, on Wall St. and in politics, I think it's safe to say that a large percentage of the smart ones do tend to gravitate towards the top of the food chain.
For the rest . . . it's not about you, me, etc. It's about sharing ideas in a way that fosters intelligent discussion.
Mr. Hyde
I totally agree Mr. Hyde.
DeleteBut not any of the sociopaths I really know, are dealing with corporations, Wall st. and politics. They look more like in the nostalgy of a power that they couldn't reach.
I'm sure I've seen some of the sociopaths you're speaking about in my work environment, but the seduction is not having effect on me, and I think I'm not interesting for them either.
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ReplyDelete
ReplyDelete“Happiness, Love is the key to LIFE”.
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