From a reader:
As I'm most positive you receive countless emails on the daily in regards to a request of an assessment of an individuals sociopathic nature, it still didn't deter me from sending one on my own behalf, and do hope it isn't offensive in me asking for your opinion.
I'm a 21 year old female current senior in college, from a military family composed up my mother and stepfather. I have 3 step sisters and 1 younger half sister from my biological father (who is also in the military) and stepmother.
My parents divorced when I was about 5 after years of physical and verbal endless violent fighting. My father took custody of me, but after about a year lost custody due to be being physically abusive with me (I have no memories to confirm) I do remember being in a foster home until my mother gained legal custody.
My mother soon married my stepfather who is practically identical to my bio father.
I could never view people as my equal or extend their surface of what I see beyond just a fleeting moment in my life. As I am a professional [athlete] and [public figure], currently on scholarship in college for [sport] as it is not NCAA. I've been forced into a team dynamic on a small campus for 3 years now and have since magnified my odd socializing Mannerism's that people describe as pull/push. They often say I either love or hate a person, there is no inbetween. That no one understands me, I'm just this large embodiment of mystery and the unknown scares people. That I'm emotionless and have a reputation as a whore.
I believe I encountered another sociopath on the team (if I am one) I have been diagnosed as borderline personality disorder, and I do get most my money from sugardaddies as I've cut family off since I was 16.
The other sociopath in my eyes has beat me, gained power over me, as we had sexual relations and he beat me to the cut off. I do not know how to overcome this as I am constantly infuriated and want nothing more than we snap his neck and watch his body go lifeless from my doing. In order to regain power I've made attempts to maneuver myself back into his life to only then destroy and break him, but he's left no openings since I made one mistake and slept with another guy on the team. All of our interactions since have been nothing but violent and cussing battles or complete avoidance. We have both built our close knit loyal Allies that take our side, do our dirty bidding, and be our eyes/ears when we're not around. The only opening I have now, is that he's failing on his side of manipulation, the team detest him for turning crude and openly egotistical. His allies have all dissipated but one, and that one has been heard bad mouthing him and has even made advancements towards friendship with me.
This has been my toughest conquest ever, and I can't decipher if the thirst for when I finally conquer him is love or is it the game of power still. So paired with the question of my state of being a sociopath, can two sociopaths make a great force? Do you see anyway I can conquer him or gain him as an ally? As he's proven himself quite valuable in my eyes.
M.E.:
If you are sociopathic, think yourself while you would react in that situation if you were he. Could you be persuaded by reason and logic? Even the temptation of uniting into one unstoppable force? Probably not because your interest in him is not rational, and your attempts to make it seem rational by suggesting that you were interested in him to increase your power dynamic are probably in accurate. He compels you because he compels you, the same way that you compel so many others. You were vulnerable to it in someway and he saw his opening, the same way that you are with others. Obsessive thoughts are not uncommon in personality disorders like borderline personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder. We are not immune from our own tricks.
Reader:
You're right, I've never been on this side of the game, he's won and will no longer allow for openings. Have you ever been overpowered? Ive even lost interest in the other targets and new targets to my toying and manipulation. Its the most constant unsettling feeling, every time I encounter him around campus and team events I always try to regain my power but it feels ineffective and I become more infuriated.
M.E.:
Buddhist people would look at us and think the advantage to is is a lack of sense of self, in the sense that we're not bothered in an ego hurt way about things that happen to us. Where you're at right now, that's probably your best bet?
POSTSCRIPT: Drafting this post, I just remembered a crazy crush/obsession I had on/with one of my students that I thought was going to be the death of me. I think I even posted about it at the time, that I knew it could suck me in and under. I also remember getting another inappropriate crazy crush/obsession on/with one of my classmates -- but only after I had graduated. That last longer than any rationality of it could have explained. I actually don't mind this feeling of being enthralled, it's exhilarating. But I think it's important to remember these moments -- what hold they had on you at the time, and how little you think of the person now (I actually had to search through my emails for like 20 minutes before I could actually remember who this person was). And even though I now remember the person and the situation and how much time and thought I devoted to it, I honestly can't even imagine how or why I felt anything like that. Attraction is such a mystery.
As I'm most positive you receive countless emails on the daily in regards to a request of an assessment of an individuals sociopathic nature, it still didn't deter me from sending one on my own behalf, and do hope it isn't offensive in me asking for your opinion.
I'm a 21 year old female current senior in college, from a military family composed up my mother and stepfather. I have 3 step sisters and 1 younger half sister from my biological father (who is also in the military) and stepmother.
My parents divorced when I was about 5 after years of physical and verbal endless violent fighting. My father took custody of me, but after about a year lost custody due to be being physically abusive with me (I have no memories to confirm) I do remember being in a foster home until my mother gained legal custody.
My mother soon married my stepfather who is practically identical to my bio father.
I could never view people as my equal or extend their surface of what I see beyond just a fleeting moment in my life. As I am a professional [athlete] and [public figure], currently on scholarship in college for [sport] as it is not NCAA. I've been forced into a team dynamic on a small campus for 3 years now and have since magnified my odd socializing Mannerism's that people describe as pull/push. They often say I either love or hate a person, there is no inbetween. That no one understands me, I'm just this large embodiment of mystery and the unknown scares people. That I'm emotionless and have a reputation as a whore.
I believe I encountered another sociopath on the team (if I am one) I have been diagnosed as borderline personality disorder, and I do get most my money from sugardaddies as I've cut family off since I was 16.
The other sociopath in my eyes has beat me, gained power over me, as we had sexual relations and he beat me to the cut off. I do not know how to overcome this as I am constantly infuriated and want nothing more than we snap his neck and watch his body go lifeless from my doing. In order to regain power I've made attempts to maneuver myself back into his life to only then destroy and break him, but he's left no openings since I made one mistake and slept with another guy on the team. All of our interactions since have been nothing but violent and cussing battles or complete avoidance. We have both built our close knit loyal Allies that take our side, do our dirty bidding, and be our eyes/ears when we're not around. The only opening I have now, is that he's failing on his side of manipulation, the team detest him for turning crude and openly egotistical. His allies have all dissipated but one, and that one has been heard bad mouthing him and has even made advancements towards friendship with me.
This has been my toughest conquest ever, and I can't decipher if the thirst for when I finally conquer him is love or is it the game of power still. So paired with the question of my state of being a sociopath, can two sociopaths make a great force? Do you see anyway I can conquer him or gain him as an ally? As he's proven himself quite valuable in my eyes.
M.E.:
If you are sociopathic, think yourself while you would react in that situation if you were he. Could you be persuaded by reason and logic? Even the temptation of uniting into one unstoppable force? Probably not because your interest in him is not rational, and your attempts to make it seem rational by suggesting that you were interested in him to increase your power dynamic are probably in accurate. He compels you because he compels you, the same way that you compel so many others. You were vulnerable to it in someway and he saw his opening, the same way that you are with others. Obsessive thoughts are not uncommon in personality disorders like borderline personality disorder or antisocial personality disorder. We are not immune from our own tricks.
Reader:
You're right, I've never been on this side of the game, he's won and will no longer allow for openings. Have you ever been overpowered? Ive even lost interest in the other targets and new targets to my toying and manipulation. Its the most constant unsettling feeling, every time I encounter him around campus and team events I always try to regain my power but it feels ineffective and I become more infuriated.
M.E.:
Buddhist people would look at us and think the advantage to is is a lack of sense of self, in the sense that we're not bothered in an ego hurt way about things that happen to us. Where you're at right now, that's probably your best bet?
POSTSCRIPT: Drafting this post, I just remembered a crazy crush/obsession I had on/with one of my students that I thought was going to be the death of me. I think I even posted about it at the time, that I knew it could suck me in and under. I also remember getting another inappropriate crazy crush/obsession on/with one of my classmates -- but only after I had graduated. That last longer than any rationality of it could have explained. I actually don't mind this feeling of being enthralled, it's exhilarating. But I think it's important to remember these moments -- what hold they had on you at the time, and how little you think of the person now (I actually had to search through my emails for like 20 minutes before I could actually remember who this person was). And even though I now remember the person and the situation and how much time and thought I devoted to it, I honestly can't even imagine how or why I felt anything like that. Attraction is such a mystery.
I can relate to having an inconvenient attraction to someone seemingly unattainable. His very image, his demeanor, his mere scent intoxicating and driving me up the wall with thirst. I wanted to lock lips with him and completely suck out the very light that I saw shining in his eyes, to be the one who extinguished that flame and replaced it with my own consuming darkness.
ReplyDeleteHow events played out was interesting, and how things are now perhaps even more interesting. I couldn't ever truly own him in the way I fantasized of, it would certainly break him and I wouldn't stand for that. He was never mine. He won't ever belong to anyone. He isn't the typical disposable waste I see everyone else as; he's the memory of what was, and what it should've been. Of all the people in the world, he is the one if not the only one that I could ever say I might even be genuinely invested in. My mother never loved me unconditionally, telling me to die and nearly ending my life with the aid of my brother who has always been clearly afflicted with his own sociopathic traits. My father was nearly never there from the beginning and practically vanished from my life, only ever having any involvement in my life if I sought him out; otherwise I simply didn't exist when he wasn't looking at me. I held and still hold the same sentiments towards him as well, and that's my general view of anyone anyways. Friends have come and gone in my life, as they're fickle, backstabbing, threatening to kill me, etc.. He, the man I speak of, I think quietly looks at me from a distance these days, observing. Through thick and thin, through all the strange things I've said and done, the lives I've destroyed or damaged, the wild lifestyle I've lived, he hasn't truly left. I haven't either, and perhaps that's not a bad thing at all. It's even beautiful, as it seems like as if our relationship needs no spoken words anymore anyways. It's like we're sitting on a grassy hill on a warm summer night sitting next to each other, gazing at the vast expanse of the heavens and all the bright stars in it.
As much as I can charm myself into painting him within my mind as a beautiful piece of art, he isn't actually anything special and never was, just me reflecting my own ego upon him to see what I wanted to see in him as a human being. At the end of the day he really is just another flirtation that never and would never turn into what I wanted it to be. I've even slept with countless men who are much like himself, and all of them were equally consumable and disposable in my eyes. Why then was he so different that he held my attention so long that it caused so much unnecessary conflict in my life?
I wanted so badly for every inch of his skin to be worshipped by the touch of my own, but it wasn't meant to be like that. I've long since come to terms with that, like as if removing my gaze off from him he ceases to exist in my reality, to be replaced from within my vision by others who offer more tangible opportunities.
ESTP Sociopath
Hi ESTP Sociopath, what do you mean by "I couldn't ever truly own him in the way I fantasized of, it would certainly break him and I wouldn't stand for that"? (what kind of things would break him in your opinion?) Thanks!
Delete"I couldn't ever truly own him in the way I fantasized of, it would certainly break him and I wouldn't stand for that."
DeleteThat's one reason I said the "hidden" Morgan is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
"Of all the people in the world, he is the one if not the only one that I could ever say I might even be genuinely invested in."
He probably feels the same - but is well aware that a socio with a wounded pride can do almost anything just to "win" - not genuinely make a commitment to someone.
"My mother never loved me unconditionally, telling me to die and nearly ending my life with the aid of my brother who has always been clearly afflicted with his own sociopathic traits. My father was nearly never there from the beginning and practically vanished from my life, only ever having any involvement in my life if I sought him out; otherwise I simply didn't exist when he wasn't looking at me."
You want this guy? Tell him honestly your background story. Don't lie to him he'll find out and nothing, NOTHING hurts a lover more than to be lied to (not trivial lies) by someone they care so much about. He just wants something from you - something that's important to you - as proof of your sincerity. He wants to give you more good than you can imagine - willingly and happily - but he will not allow himself to be used and eventually discarded. He's not "in the game" and will never be. He loves sincerity - at least with him.
"As much as I can charm myself into painting him within my mind as a beautiful piece of art, he isn't actually anything special and never was, just me reflecting my own ego upon him to see what I wanted to see in him as a human being."
This is true from the other end also except he does believe that there something very special hidden inside his friend and he is sure it can be retrieved. He just can't do it alone. Trust him once and give him an opening - I promise you he'll do the rest. You need to overcome your fear of betrayal - he's not like you.
"I wanted to lock lips with him and completely suck out the very light that I saw shining in his eyes, to be the one who extinguished that flame and replaced it with my own consuming darkness."
DeleteIs this typically the flavour/nature of a sociopath's desire/love?
ESTP Sociopath - thank you for this fascinating account.
ESTP Sociopath,
DeleteWould you call it love?
Anonymous 1:08 PM:
DeleteYes? Love, especially for a sociopath, I think is just another impulse to be acted upon if choosen. However, I don't see it the same way society traditionally defines it; it's something we have agreed as a society to exist, like Valentines Day or money. I think human beings can certainly excel at multiple short term relationships for the sake of bringing more children into the world, but "true love" is something we write about in romance novels and try to emulate in real life.
Anonymous 12:58 PM
Perhaps.
Jonaid, you do not know nearly enough of the full story to provide the unsolicited advice you have given. What I've spoken here of him, and myself, is only just a piece of the bigger picture. Why things are they way they are is because it's necessary. Could we have a closer relationship, even as just friends? Perhaps. It is not a goal that I find entirely appealing or even at all worthwhile, as there are many more fish in the ocean who can provide whatever he has to offer as a human being. He just caught my attention longer then what was convenient for me.
If he is emotionally invested in me in anyway, that is his choice. What kind of relationship we have is what he decides to develop himself, as I see no reason to take the initiative to do so. If he wants something from me, has to come and establish the desire for it, even if it's just friendship. If he doesn't then nothing happens, everything will remain as it is now, perhaps forever.
ESTP Sociopath
Thank you for your replies. I know what you mean about "true love" - it is a weird one, all that.
DeleteWhat a disgusting personality you have...
DeleteCongratulations. You can be proud of that.
"However, I don't see it the same way society traditionally defines it; it's something we have agreed as a society to exist, like Valentines Day or money. I think human beings can certainly excel at multiple short term relationships for the sake of bringing more children into the world, but "true love" is something we write about in romance novels and try to emulate in real life."
DeleteI agree. When we look at actual human behaviour, we see regular divergence from this particular western norm.
There's tons of stuff on this. monogamy is not natural. This is not a moral opinion. This statement does not imply that monogamy is or is not somehow healthy or right for human culture or individual happiness. It also does not imply that monogamy is an unattainable goal for those striving to attain it. It simply means that monogamy does not seem to fit well within the natural landscape, especially that of our evolutionary predecessors."
See also The New Monogamy: social monogamy, not sexual monogamy, is emerging as the new norm (Psychology Today)
Monogamy as a norm doesn't quite work and is shifting. Serial monogamy, polyamoury and relationship anarchy are some alternative models floating around.
Personally, I now find if I am sleeping with someone, I feel inclined to sleep only with them until it's time to move on.
See also Julian Fellowes on the Paradox of Infatuation
That third para was meant to be quoted from Huffington Post.
DeleteAnother article from Psychology Today:
DeleteAn Inconvenient Truth: Sexual Monogamy Kills Male Libido
Human beings are evolved for sex lives full of novelty.
"You want an inconvenient truth? Try this one: human beings are clearly evolved for sex lives featuring multiple simultaneous sexual relationships.
Men, especially, are designed by evolution to be attracted to sexual novelty and to gradually lose sexual attraction to the same partner in the absence of such novelty. The so-called Coolidge Effect (link is external) is well demonstrated in social mammals of all sorts, and is old news to anyone knowledgeable about reproductive biology.
Boys will be boys, and men will be the way they are, despite the many ways our society tries to make them change."
These explorations are all over the place, which is why the current framing of morality ("good" v "evil") is so bizarre.
Are psychopathic impulses to sexual novelty or risk taking really so bad? It's the anti-social impulses that are problematic because humans are social creatures. But none of us can get what we have impulses for all the time, I suppose.
Little aside: the socio I was involved with was fond of saying "If I show you that, I'll have to kill you." To everyone in the office to any request for information. Of course, I couldn't help myself, I challenged him: "How would you kill me?" He was quiet and thoughtful for a moment, then responded very seriously "I would choke you and throw you under a bus." I think that was his way of indulging murderous fantasies a little in a socially acceptable way.
This is an interesting post. It makes me remember an old 'love' I had many years ago. Thinking about her today, I couldn't care less about her.
ReplyDeleteAt the time, though, I was obsessed. Nothing pleased me more than to "conquer" her. Know that she was in my control. Most people would call it a "power trip", which I suppose it was.
"Attraction is such a mystery."
I don't agree. Attraction is quantifiable [for sociopaths] just like everything else. Our attraction is usually driven by an objective. In my case my objective, in the end, was sex and friendship. I was horny and I also wanted a reliable friend. When the objectives were achieved and I no longer saw value in her, I removed her from my life.
//To "Reader"://
You seem to be emotionally caught-up in the situation. This suggests to me that you are not sociopathic. But ask yourself; What is your end goal with this suspected sociopath? What happens if you do conquer him?
In my experience, "conquering" someone is only part of the fun. I always have an end-goal, an objective greater than "to conquer". There is something more that I want, a use for the person once they are under my influence, etc.
-Fellow Sociopath
" When the objectives were achieved and I no longer saw value in her "
DeleteFellow Sociopath - Did you no longer see value in her because the objectives had been achieved (or did circumstances otherwise change)?
It wasn't just having achieved the objectives. But rather she stopped fulfilling them. The sex stopped. But beyond that, the friendship was a joke.
DeleteIt became clear that she was not committed to the friendship in any way, and she had more potential to cause damage than anything else. I burnt that bridge before I was put in harm's way.
-Fellow Sociopath
Fellow Sociopath, thank you for replying!
Delete"Suspected sociopath" is not a sociopath. He almost became one and believe me if he did he'd have used you and discarded you so quickly you'd have cried yourself out of sociopathy. You've abused his trust and on top of that you've accused him of possibly playing the same sick game as you. Ever, even once, did you imagine IF he's sincere what you're putting him thru? That also goes to show how much he gave damn about you that he still puts up with it. He doesn't deserve it but alas knowing that doesn't solve the problem.
ReplyDelete^ *YOU don't deserve it*
ReplyDeleteYou've gotten my attention here on this blog now. When will you stop this game and own up? If you can't trust me yet you should do what you said and go find another, better one to flirt and own. I swear no one goes to such humiliating extremes as I have to help someone. Love has its downsides too.
Yawn. Psychopaths masturbate & get annoyed by kissing couples, kind of gross..
ReplyDeleteJonaid, do you ever stop talking ? Lol
ReplyDeleteYes I do. I think I'll be done with this place very soon, if not now. I've learned a lot, have gone more than out of my to spread my message. I may comment occasionally but not as frequently as I used to. My "friend" is obviously beyond my help and so I need not indulge him anymore.
ReplyDelete"Jonaid, you do not know nearly enough of the full story to provide the unsolicited advice you have given. What I've spoken here of him, and myself, is only just a piece of the bigger picture. Why things are they way they are is because it's necessary. Could we have a closer relationship, even as just friends? Perhaps. It is not a goal that I find entirely appealing or even at all worthwhile, as there are many more fish in the ocean who can provide whatever he has to offer as a human being. He just caught my attention longer then what was convenient for me."
You chased me and out of genuine care I distanced myself from you. I couldn't help but to see your hidden self and then see your weaknesses. You could have shared anything with me. I don't believe anything you say - you have only one thing driving you and that's your genitals. Thanks for this comment - your earlier comments started giving me hope but now I'm back in my senses.
May God help those poor visitors to this blog. They'll be swamped in nonsense left right and center.
Ciao.
I mean this 100%:
ReplyDeleteMy "friendship" with this socio WAS a good example of the dangers of emotions. I cared too much and paid a heavy price. However, that's because my emotions were unchecked by anyone but me. If you believe in God as I do now, emotions would never betray you like this.
So you folks are right: in a heartless, soulless and purely materialistic world one is better off living without empathy. That, however, is just our temporary state. The fact is Good and Evil do exist and a sociopath - in their actions - falls on the evil end. God knows their inner state.
Good luck folks.
Quick! Somebody call the whaaaaaambulance, our dear Jonaid had his feelings hurt!
DeleteDoes the baby need a new diaper?
:-(
Who's the little baby? Who's the little baby? Yes you are, Jonaid, yes you are!
HAHAHAHAHAHAH OH MY GOD! MY INSIDES!
Finally! You don't know how relieved I am, Jonaid is finally running away with his tail between his legs!
Ah, cry me a river, you big mangina.
You had a good run. Unfortunately, clowns are out of season at the moment. Here, I award thee Clown of the Year award. Now beat it.
Or don't. I always look forward to a good laugh! Keep up the good work, you're really doing god's work here!
Yes, we're heartless, soulless individuals seeing the world as nothing but an opportunity of endless materialistic gains and living with no empathy, and if we squeeze our noses it makes a squeaky toy noise.
ReplyDeleteESTP Sociopath
This is hilarious. :) Glad to have Jonaid gone.
DeleteIt's unfortunate that so many people have a similar view of sociopaths as he does. We are painted as evildoers only out for ourselves who love to watch world burn.
This is why we do well to use anonymity. It can be dangerous to be open about our sociopathic ways. But empaths will never understand this.
-Fellow Sociopath
Go easy, Fellow Sociopath. I think I'm doing damn well at drawing correlations and generally synthesising a better understanding of human nature overall.
DeleteI appreciate people here entertaining my speculations (and 'energy burnoff' rants) and hope to keep refining my models.
I know. :) But you would have to agree that MOST people aren't as open minded about the topic.
Delete-Fellow Sociopath
Things will change :)
DeletePlenty of people I speak to - at least educated and professionally employed people - are open minded.
A good character study movie would help.
Evil does exist but it has nothing to do with good and bad. It is a choice like everything else. We all are meant to be love.
ReplyDeleteMy partner once told me that "once you learn to fake sincerity, the rest is easy."
ReplyDeleteI commented to him that once you move your actions so in line with what your partner needs, there is very little difference between false and genuine action - at least speaking for myself and my needs.
Still comment , no offence intended , just you have lots of thoughts running through your mind. :) I used to talk lots, needed to listen more . Dam ego. ;)
ReplyDeleteThat's a thoughtful comment, Superchick :)
DeleteI'm talking a lot - and I'm grateful I can speak here until I
"come to terms with that, like as if removing my gaze off from him he ceases to exist in my reality, to be replaced from within my vision by others who offer more tangible opportunities." (from ESTP Sociopath's post at 1:49am)
A season for everything I suppose.
ReplyDeleteThe blabbering PEST is gone! Finally. Wet rags like him can provoke the most docile of slumbering psychopaths and turn them into raging werevolves, his presence was a menace not to be taken lightly. Filled with pretentious shite, spitting his tiny "wisdom" everywhere. Almost like a rectum om two legs, acually. But gone now. No more crap. No more wanna-be antics. No more "silly teen gone astray to oppose daddy".
ReplyDeleteThat's so sweet and charming to think of the individual who caused you such internal emotional strife. It reminds me of something someone said to me,
Delete[Eyes wild and body shaking with anger] "You, you pretentious little shit. You think you're smarter than everyone don't you? Well guess what, you're not!"
Anything I could ever express is just the inhale and exhale of my ego, at least when it comes to speaking of myself. I acknowledge any narcissism of mine, and that expression of my ego might be nothing more than smoke and mirrors. Or is it real? Is the game I talk really what I also walk? I see that kind inflation of ego within myself as well as others. None of it matters, as I see through that thin veil of illusion. I can see how I can manipulate myself into being the kind of figure I desire, but I choose not to see my personality in terms of bad or good. I choose to take pleasure in the experiences and sensations brought out by it, to bask in the beauty of being alive and free to be who I am because I allow myself to have that kind of power within.
ESTP Sociopath
Our minds are powerfully imaginative; so long as our contrived realities help us to function in this world, it matters little how far they are from a consensus reality.
DeleteThere are both advantages and disadvantages to supreme confidence in one's own being. It's less stressful to have total trust in oneself; but one can become blinkered, for example to the value of genuine collaborations. Self-confidence, of course, does not preclude collaboration - it's de-valuing others that does it.
One of the greatest pleasures for me is interplay of ideas, creating solutions with others. I can get quite high on it, my mind dancing with the minds of others with the stakes raised.
There are lots of other pleasures to be had in this world - who is to say which is superior? To each his own.
Many of the ideas I entertain and choose to put into action require cooperation, much as if we were playing on a team and it's like we're kicking the ball, the plan being implemented, into the goal. Whether or not they're cognizant of the fact they're being used as the tools to achieve my desires matters not to me.
DeleteCollaboration? If I acknowledge it, it may be nothing more than paying lip service to the people I'm working with. Perhaps I'm orchestrating a greater plan behind the scenes? Or I could really man what I say when I agree to collaborate with others on achieving something. It just depends on whether or not I feel like there is enough incentive for me.
ESTP Sociopath
For example, I might donate my time to spending time interacting and preparing food for homeless youth. It's not all nasty plots and maniacally laughing.
DeleteESTP Sociopath
No one has a problem wagging their finger at the motives of bad deeds but we all are so scared to question the motive of good deeds. We shouldn't be.
DeleteCollaboration is a genuine pleasure for me. I understand it may be different for you and that's ok. Pleasure is pleasure!
Delete@Anon 10:24
I don't think in terms of good or bad or particularly concern myself with others' motivations. There's a hell lot of overhead in that approach. I take Horatio's advice: 'if your mind dislike something, obey it.' Subconscious responses - including emotional ones - are more trustworthy than rumination. I've never regretted going with my impulses but am always open to changing my beliefs, which drive the impulses.
And what do you get out of donating your time interacting and preparing food for the homeless youth ?
Delete"I have been diagnosed as borderline personality disorder"
ReplyDeleteAnd that you clearly are. The other alternative is some type of PTSD. Its a childhood trauma.
What really gets me about this blog, is every time i end up reading something. Its some abused little girl who now thinks shes a sociopath with superpowers.
ReplyDeleteAnd every time its about some crush. Where is all the actual antisocial behavior? Drugs, criminal activity, scams.. anything that would actually make these sociopaths. But no, its all about some childish crushes & little girl games... coz that is what makes a person sociopath.
I have lots to catch up on with the blog comments. I was out to lunch today and the overloading of onion on my kebab reminded me of something.
ReplyDeleteThe last time I slept with the socio, he apologised again and again for eating too much onion. I don't actually remember his breath but I remember him saying that and I'm convinced he ate onion deliberately to diminish my pleasure. It's exactly the sort of detail he relished in any of his seductions.
He really thought he had that level of control over my pleasure and pain? It's delusional. It's so far off base.
What I do remember was him thrusting up into me and books falling off the top of the headboard as I rode him to climax.
Think about the cost benefit ratio of that little stunt. Even best case scenario it doesn't add up. Pretty sure he suffered more from that onion than I did and now I simply look back at the episode and think on how very strange a creature he is.
I did tell him he makes sex way too complicated.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteNorth that is hilarious. Looking back at how contrived everything was with the socio I think how dull. How dull for them. I'm glad to some extent that I be-bopped thru the majority of it unaware. Despite their best efforts to dampen my spirits at every turn I mostly just thought hmm that's odd
DeleteI thought hmmmm thats odd-as I stuffed another big piece of the gingerbread house in my mouth.
Delete'be-bopped through the majority of it unaware'
Deleteand thinking that's odd.
Yes, there were so many incidents like that. And when I figured he was a psychopath, those were the moments I recalled and realised 'oh, he was trying aggravate me or hurt me.'
OldAndWise used the term parallel universe.
I look back and feel bemused and perhaps disgusted. But mostly I see a pitiful creature who thinks he's hurting someone and feeling himself to be very clever.
Psychopaths aren't any more logical than the next person; they operate without the otherwise-shared premises emotions furnish.
Other neurotypicals - please, please embrace your feelings fully. They are your BEST guide. Think of all the times you squashed them or ignored your instincts with your sociopath and allow yourself to relive that moment coloured by your feelings!
This changes your brain and opens the pathways, giving you access to far, far richer information! You can use MORE of your brain's potential!
Yes, they offer a very interesting lens and have some very compelling characteristics. But you are a wonderful organism yourself! As a fully successful adult organism, you *know* what to do.