My therapist says (something like, forgive my rough paraphrases) that a lot of people have the symptoms of depression without having actual depression -- that people can have the symptom of depression without having the clinical diagnosis of major depressive disorder. Maybe this is obvious to some, but I feel like it's kind of gotten lost in the past decade or so as a concept. I think it's gotten pretty common for people to believe that if their symptoms of depression last for more than a few weeks, then they have Depression (capital D). The therapist says often what is actually happening is the person has particular beliefs or expectations that are not being met. From Psychology Today:
"I must be loved." "I must do well." These are classic rational emotive philosophies, or mind styles, that foster depression. There may be beliefs about the world: "The world should recognize me." Or "I need a guarantee of success, otherwise it's too hard to live with my dreams and hopes." A belief that things must go your way can lead to very destructive rage: "The world must see me fairly and favorably, otherwise the world is contemptible."
Things like that. And when they're not met there is frustration (and maybe rage). When the frustration continues, the person loses hope that the world can ever be made right in a way that comports with their beliefs. The hopelessness becomes despair (literally "loss of hope"). Your body and mind can't stand to feel despair for longer than a week or two, so it numbs the feeling -- all feelings actually, the same way that your overwhelmed body might go unconscious in reaction to severe pain.
So I've heard from a bunch of people that identify as being sociopathic but have also experienced or are currently experiencing depression and wonder how the two could possibly co-exist, but sociopaths have wrong beliefs about the way the world should work just as much as other people (maybe sociopaths do not have as many wrong beliefs as a normal person, because they are less susceptible to socialization, but having a personality disorder by definition means you have some wrong beliefs). When failed expectation turns to frustration and frustration turns to loss of hope that things will work out the way they seem to need to, depression.
From a reader:
The reason for this email is to determine whether I'm a sociopath or not. Which must be 75% of your emails. I've read your book and It's lead me to thinking I'm a sociopath. I seem to exhibit a lot of sociopathy symptoms but there are a few contradicting aspects to my personality. Which is why I'm hoping you can help me determine whether I am a sociopath or not. I've always knew I was different since I was little. I was dubbed "The Weirdo". Though growing up I quickly learned how to befriend these people and was soon able to become a member of any social group. Despite this 'acceptance' to any group I still knew that I was different and everything I did to be a part of these groups was fake. Before reading your book I attempted to determine what made me different. After a view internet searches I started relating to people living with Asperger's syndrome. I went as far as visiting a doctor to be diagnosed. I was sent to an autism centre and I was asked a myriad of questions. I dropped all of my façades and answered them honestly. They told me that my answers showed signs of Asperger's but some of my behaviour contradicted this. When I probed for specifics they told me I locked eye contact with the interviewer which is usually difficult for someone with Asperger's. They asked If I could attend another appointment but this time to bring my mother. I declined as I felt that my contradicting behaviours was enough to convince me I didn't have Asperger's. Since then I gave up on figuring out why I stood apart from my peers. It wasn't until I read your book that my interest was reignited. As I said before I show signs of being sociopathic.
I fail to read a lot of social cues and get very angry when someone tries to make me feel guilty for my actions. I become very bored, very quickly, especially when it comes to my job and my interests. I got straight As in high school but didn't attend university as I knew that there was nothing that I could dedicate 4 uyears of my life to and still be interested. Since then I've been a bartender; a sales agent; a bee-keeper; a funeral director and embalmer; a full time male escort and now I'm currently teaching English in China. These jobs usually require previous experience but I'm managed to persuade my way into these positions only to become bored and move onto the next best thing. To blend in with these careers my personality changes. Embalming [NAME] differs from the [NAME] my childhood friends know and that [NAME completely differs from [NAME] in China. I seem to seek out what is needed in a group and become that person. This is not even mentioning my male escort persona, which brings me to my sexuality.
You noted that a fluid sexuality is one of the give aways to a sociopath. I had a lot of girlfriends and I did 'love' them but again, just like my career path or my interests, I become bored and I move on. I'd like to highlight that one of my ex-girlfriends, who was obsessed with Twilight, literally believed I was a vampire which you stated in your book is a creature that has a sociopathic nature. After an x amount of girlfriends I became curious about the same sex and, mostly to vex my mother, I came out as gay but like everything in my life this title, along with it's shock factor, bored me and I gravitated back to girls identifying as straight. Currently when people ask me what my sexuality is, since having a defining sexual identity is the 'in' thing now, I simply say I go for personality since I have no real preference.
I could go on about my sociopathic traits but I want to mention the parts of me that contradict being a sociopath. I don't have feelings towards humans, I've manipulated them and used them, but I do have a desire to be their friend. I meet some people and I try and manipulate them into being my friend not to use but because I crave the companionship. I have no feelings towards human but I have a big heart for animals. I love animals. I don't need to act for them and it saddens me to see an animal heart which I feel goes against being a sociopath. Finally I have a a lot of depressive traits. If my 'mask' slips and I'm caught, it can knock me into a depression. For example I was out drinking last night with friends and half way through the night I started observing the situation and failing to find the point in any of it. From that point on I stopped trying in conversation and cut short my niceties. When my friends noticed and confronted me, I became down and went home. I remember it being mentioned in your book that sociopaths don't really get depressed. Using the evidence I've given you can you help me find out whether I am sociopath or not?
"I must be loved." "I must do well." These are classic rational emotive philosophies, or mind styles, that foster depression. There may be beliefs about the world: "The world should recognize me." Or "I need a guarantee of success, otherwise it's too hard to live with my dreams and hopes." A belief that things must go your way can lead to very destructive rage: "The world must see me fairly and favorably, otherwise the world is contemptible."
Things like that. And when they're not met there is frustration (and maybe rage). When the frustration continues, the person loses hope that the world can ever be made right in a way that comports with their beliefs. The hopelessness becomes despair (literally "loss of hope"). Your body and mind can't stand to feel despair for longer than a week or two, so it numbs the feeling -- all feelings actually, the same way that your overwhelmed body might go unconscious in reaction to severe pain.
So I've heard from a bunch of people that identify as being sociopathic but have also experienced or are currently experiencing depression and wonder how the two could possibly co-exist, but sociopaths have wrong beliefs about the way the world should work just as much as other people (maybe sociopaths do not have as many wrong beliefs as a normal person, because they are less susceptible to socialization, but having a personality disorder by definition means you have some wrong beliefs). When failed expectation turns to frustration and frustration turns to loss of hope that things will work out the way they seem to need to, depression.
From a reader:
The reason for this email is to determine whether I'm a sociopath or not. Which must be 75% of your emails. I've read your book and It's lead me to thinking I'm a sociopath. I seem to exhibit a lot of sociopathy symptoms but there are a few contradicting aspects to my personality. Which is why I'm hoping you can help me determine whether I am a sociopath or not. I've always knew I was different since I was little. I was dubbed "The Weirdo". Though growing up I quickly learned how to befriend these people and was soon able to become a member of any social group. Despite this 'acceptance' to any group I still knew that I was different and everything I did to be a part of these groups was fake. Before reading your book I attempted to determine what made me different. After a view internet searches I started relating to people living with Asperger's syndrome. I went as far as visiting a doctor to be diagnosed. I was sent to an autism centre and I was asked a myriad of questions. I dropped all of my façades and answered them honestly. They told me that my answers showed signs of Asperger's but some of my behaviour contradicted this. When I probed for specifics they told me I locked eye contact with the interviewer which is usually difficult for someone with Asperger's. They asked If I could attend another appointment but this time to bring my mother. I declined as I felt that my contradicting behaviours was enough to convince me I didn't have Asperger's. Since then I gave up on figuring out why I stood apart from my peers. It wasn't until I read your book that my interest was reignited. As I said before I show signs of being sociopathic.
I fail to read a lot of social cues and get very angry when someone tries to make me feel guilty for my actions. I become very bored, very quickly, especially when it comes to my job and my interests. I got straight As in high school but didn't attend university as I knew that there was nothing that I could dedicate 4 uyears of my life to and still be interested. Since then I've been a bartender; a sales agent; a bee-keeper; a funeral director and embalmer; a full time male escort and now I'm currently teaching English in China. These jobs usually require previous experience but I'm managed to persuade my way into these positions only to become bored and move onto the next best thing. To blend in with these careers my personality changes. Embalming [NAME] differs from the [NAME] my childhood friends know and that [NAME completely differs from [NAME] in China. I seem to seek out what is needed in a group and become that person. This is not even mentioning my male escort persona, which brings me to my sexuality.
You noted that a fluid sexuality is one of the give aways to a sociopath. I had a lot of girlfriends and I did 'love' them but again, just like my career path or my interests, I become bored and I move on. I'd like to highlight that one of my ex-girlfriends, who was obsessed with Twilight, literally believed I was a vampire which you stated in your book is a creature that has a sociopathic nature. After an x amount of girlfriends I became curious about the same sex and, mostly to vex my mother, I came out as gay but like everything in my life this title, along with it's shock factor, bored me and I gravitated back to girls identifying as straight. Currently when people ask me what my sexuality is, since having a defining sexual identity is the 'in' thing now, I simply say I go for personality since I have no real preference.
I could go on about my sociopathic traits but I want to mention the parts of me that contradict being a sociopath. I don't have feelings towards humans, I've manipulated them and used them, but I do have a desire to be their friend. I meet some people and I try and manipulate them into being my friend not to use but because I crave the companionship. I have no feelings towards human but I have a big heart for animals. I love animals. I don't need to act for them and it saddens me to see an animal heart which I feel goes against being a sociopath. Finally I have a a lot of depressive traits. If my 'mask' slips and I'm caught, it can knock me into a depression. For example I was out drinking last night with friends and half way through the night I started observing the situation and failing to find the point in any of it. From that point on I stopped trying in conversation and cut short my niceties. When my friends noticed and confronted me, I became down and went home. I remember it being mentioned in your book that sociopaths don't really get depressed. Using the evidence I've given you can you help me find out whether I am sociopath or not?
It seems to me OP knows he's different but he cannot accept himself for who he is. Once he gives into his impulse and accept himself for who he truly is, I'm sure all worries/depression will vanish
ReplyDeleteYou were *supposed" to say "first". :P
DeleteFuck. I'm never the first
DeleteI don't recall being depressed but I do get frustrated. Whenever I feel that I'm losing control/power over my surrounding/relationships/objects of entertainment I get frustrated. It is often short lived but it does serve it's purpose. But I wouldn't be where I am if I couldn't compartmentalize my impulse.
DeleteI think it's interesting that the email writer mentions liking animals. I know stereotypically cruelty to animals is a sociopathic indicator, but I never got that. I love animals, they're so much easier to understand, many of them are cute or useful and they follow their nature.
ReplyDeleteThe other day my boss gave me a weird look at work because I took the time to catch a wolf spider (big black spider with a few yellow stripes) and put it outside. I shrugged it off, but if anyone presses me I just explain that as a Buddhist I respect living things (well, except irritating people, but hey I'm not enlightened yet). I just didn't see the point of hurting it, particularly since spiders eat bugs which are much more harmful.
--
As for depression, yeah, it can definitely effect sociopaths. I'd even say it's more common, since without the same emotional ties and distractions there's really only striving for success to focus on. And when that striving doesn't pay off it can be really hard on you.
I don't know, I think it's just something comes and goes. I know there'll be some victory coming up around the corner and I'll feel fine.
I feel the same way you do about animals. For me, I live most of my life walking on egg shells to not say something over cruel or demanding. With animals I don't have to worry about the emotional and social queues. I've enjoyed animal company since I was a child (mainly cats, who I think are even less apt to care about emotions of others).
DeleteI think it is a common confusion that sociopaths and psychopaths can't possibly be depressed or suffer from other mental disorders. I myself have questioned that. But I think it is about the underlying reasoning behind it. Maybe it isn't depression as someone would normally define it, but it is a type of its own.
Our qualitative experience of life emerges from our beliefs. Beliefs drive our behaviour and frame our perceptions; and where they diverge too far from experience we feel various sorts of frustration or pain.
ReplyDeleteThis is why pain and frustration are adaptive mechanisms. They are signals to change what we're doing because it's not working effectively. To change our patterns of behaviour we must first change our beliefs.
What we find is a general reluctance to change beliefs because there's huge overhead involved. It's easier for an organism to persist in unhappiness/some discomfort than for it to go through the process of belief change. But this preference is rooted in our organisms' focus on the present (consider how all our biological responses and adaptions occur to current stimuli.) Survival, our most immediate goal, is always a NOW result.
Investment in belief change, however, has payoffs even in the short-medium term. But perhaps the catalyst must be traumatic for us to realise this.
Planting seeds.
Being able to change beliefs readily to fit new data becomes a matter of technique, of practice. A single human cannot hope to have a fully accurate set of beliefs about our operational environment, no matter how widely read or wise.
DeleteThe tasks, then, are:
1. Becoming aware of our hidden beliefs - usually created in childhood before we had sufficiently developed cognitive tools to create domain specific beliefs (again, survival is prioritised for NOW and attachment patterns in particular are immediately crucial)
2. Creating a framework that facilitates rather than hinders APPROPRIATE belief change and refinement.
Leaving behind attempts at control, I rather become a skilled navigator. I flow with the River, steering the course my being chooses with all the force of rushing water behind me. Then life is effortless, mere reading of maps and touches of the rudder.
DeleteWe all know we need some purpose beyond ourselves. Psychopaths and sociopaths who've convinced themselves that they are perfectly fine & happy with their own reality can only delude themselves until that "reality" breaks down - as it does when your "mask" fails you. You see like every single human being, sociopaths too want to see a single, fixed mode of operation which always works - the difference is they only care about what works for THEM whereas a healthier mind cares about what works for everyone.
ReplyDeleteYou're not a sociopath (as defined by psychologists) if you actually care about animals' suffering. You're just disheartened with humanity and apparently haven't found any unconditional, true love yet. The ultimate source of all of that is of course God.
Depression is the gradual result of being "lost" for too long. We all go through some phase of it - all of us save those who remain firm in their "faith" in God.
In the name of God, The Merciful, The Compassionate.
"Surely We created man of the best stature
Then we reduced him to the lowest of the low,
Save those who believe and do good works, and theirs is a reward unfailing."
Quran 95: 4-6
My poem called, All I know -
ReplyDeleteYou say to me people are good, loosen up and enjoy your life, but it's easy for you to say. Has the world taken everything from you? What have people given me but mistreatment? Haven't they heard the most dangerous thing is a good man who has had enough. All I know in my hard existence is to be a ruler in an imaginary land. To hell with this world. One day I will find a way to never come back.
@ Adam at 5.12pm:
Delete"To hell with this world. One day I will find a way to never come back."
Finding a way to never come back is easy. Time will care of that for you anyway. Finding a way to do more than taking:
"long walks in parks and unfamiliar side streets, aimlessly."
....is the tricky bit. At least you still *can* walk aimlessly [unlike Zhawq, if he's to be believed].
Friends are not so useless, of whichever gender. They give one a very bracing sense of (a hopefully, different) perspective.
That is, one could argue, their primary use. Having a couple of non-judgmental, brutally honest people around, who like you - who laugh at your jokes, not *you* - worth the occasional effort.
XK
Drat. Typo.
Delete'Time will take care' etc.
XK
That secret tunnel, dark to me, through which his poison arrows glided so smoothly...
ReplyDeleteI saw his line this time. I know the route, so lost in me before. That fleshy wound is knitting together naturally now.
Testing, always testing. And since I have used the data, his results are out of date. As has been the pattern these 18 months.
North it was only because we couldn't "imagine." that is what is so strange to me. Why couldn't I image? What else am I missing?
DeleteIt's so interesting that connections are made when you explore them. We somehow have to experience or have a pre-existing conception even to imagine.
DeleteAnd perhaps things are buried, lost under layers of consciousness that once served an adaptive purpose (eg in childhood) but don't work effectively in the current adult context.
Someone just pointed out to me that I might be seeking answers with **-* when the questions I have are really for my father. And in some proto-form I knew this myself and had been somehow blind to it* - I presented this person with all the pre-cursors for that conclusion but hadn't yet made the connection myself. The mercy and beauty of human connection.
We can only explore and explore until those insights reveal themselves to us.
I also think we project our own experience of life onto others. I think that's what "empathy" is. But others are actually different - it's naturally hard for us to imagine how and that's why I want to keep writing. So potentially people will have, at least, an inkling, some new sort of framework through which to understand their experiences.
*My first commenton SW a year ago regarded my father and how **-* relates. (ME pulled it into one of her posts). It's interesting for me to look back on because I feel a darker edge in my own writing then, a more immediate, bleak and driving energy.
North I saw the family connection during the relationship . I even pointed it out. My Dr said that is why it so comfortable. So familiar. And I guess why I thought really messed up things were normal. I can see the same blank expression in my family member now and it gives me chills. They are so similar. I just can't believe I ever thought that crazy shit was normal. Its so hard for me to keep my mouth shut now. And people really don't get it. Even if they think they do-they don't.
Delete"And I guess why I thought really messed up things were normal."
DeleteExactly! But it was normal for us. What we see now is that it doesn't have to be. (For me, I see there's so much more to who I am than the box I shoved myself into as a child in order to survive. I can grow out of that now.)
"I can see the same blank expression in my family member now and it gives me chills. They are so similar."
I'm sorry. How does knowing more now play out for you? Does it help?
"Its so hard for me to keep my mouth shut now. And people really don't get it. Even if they think they do-they don't."
I found this to be the hardest part. I was surprised, though, because after a while I did start to meet people who had been through similar experiences.
Share with others who can understand
They will be few.
But all feel sadness
and anger
and isolation.
These anyone can understand.
Please feel free to keep talking and processing as you want to.
North it is wonderful to understand the world better. To skip steps. To stop struggling. But at the same time it is overwhelming. I read sociopaths here write they know things are futile. Sometimes I wish I didn't know the things I know. Do you ever feel like that? I wonder what the difference is between socios and nons. I wonder if my view is more like theirs now.
DeleteI'm sorry I'm a bit all over the place. By what is the difference between avoids and nons I guess I mean how they each deal with "emptiness". It is very haunting to me. I feel more sadness for my family member and more repulsion for the sociopath. I am a little troubled by the repulsion. Its not anger as much as just-i really don't know. It just makes me sick.
DeleteThat's socios not avoids.
DeleteHow would you describe your view now? What are some of the things you wish you didn't know? (I'm asking, but only respond if you feel like it.)
DeleteSuch an experience has to change a person. You can't be the same after something like that.
I felt for a long time I was walking a precipice between darkness and a world of sheep. When I realised that precipice was my own road, I gave myself the space to become who I am.
The knowing of something other is overwhelming... It takes time to process that: both to make sense of it and to work out the impacts as someone else here once wrote. It's a genuinely physical process because it takes time to create neural pathways. There is a limit to our physical processing capacity. It is a matter of patience, like healing from a knee or shoulder reconstruction, only this is a cognitive adaptation. Kindness to self is the only way.
But as that processing goes on, there is more and more space to discover one's own self and to grow in accordance with one's own being. It's a very precious, rich and productive time, even though for me it was marked with tears (and still is. Those tears are change.)
The view doesn't have to be static. I kept seeking until I found visions that resonated with me, that seemed congruent with who I was*. I'm a neurotypical; I'm wired for connection and as hard as that was for me to admit, I will be healthiest and happiest when I connect with others. So I slowly, slowly, slowly set about to grow into my own nature.
Curiosity about the differences between sociopaths and neurotypicals has been a big part of my adaptive process. I've found some answers that work for me, but it's something I continue to find interesting.
Life doesn't have to be futile for anyone. We are all pure potential.
* Simon Sinek's Why Leaders Eat Last gave me a biological understanding of human sociality, a meaty and positive vision of my organism and how it functions in social contexts.
Charlie Chaplin's Great Dictator Speech gave me an opposite narrative to the sociopath's: "We all want to help each other, human beings are like that. We want to live by each others' happiness, not by each others' misery." That was super hard to believe, but I listened to it over and over and over until the dam walls broke and I accepted I am potentially a member of the human community.
Sorry, Anon, I didn't refresh the page while I was writing (amongst doing other things) and didn't see your last post.
DeleteI suppose I can relate more to the sadness to the repulsion and maybe this has influenced my approach to adaptation. Either way, I think you can only go with what your feelings are telling you and repulsion is probably a strong message to stay away.
DeleteI wrote above:
DeleteSomeone just pointed out to me that I might be seeking answers with **-* when the questions I have are really for my father. And in some proto-form I knew this myself and had been somehow blind to it.
And again, those corridors of understanding open up with each door I walk through: cascading vistas. I found a new resolution about my father this evening, this time regarding rugby. It's imply incredible how these things play out, like the universe is unfolding for my adapting brain; yet I know that it's simply my own brain taking advantage of every offered opportunity to better integrate itself. I wish I could share these feelings with people.
I know this path is incredibly effective. So powerful and beautiful. I want others to experience this type of freedom and trust in self that I feel these days.
North everything you said is helpful to me. Thank you. I love Charlie Chaplin and I'm going to listen to that speech. I feel that I can almost grasp socios intellectually. But behind it all there is such a void. How do you begin to understand a void? It is nothing and no one. Maybe that is why I feel such repulsion.
DeleteI guess I can somewhat relate with sociopaths in that I struggle to accept what I am in contrast to the different views of reality I am aware of. Like someone said in an above post "once they accept what they are they will be fine. " I personally don't know if I trust anything to be that easy but maybe it is.
Delete"But behind it all there is such a void. How do you begin to understand a void? It is nothing and no one."
DeleteIt is so strange, isn't it. I remember feeling it* acutely and even this week felt a shadow of its engulfing dark coldness. Something so palpable, yet beyond grasp.
"I struggle to accept what I am in contrast to the different views of reality I am aware of."
Would you like to elaborate on this a bit?
"Like someone said in an above post "once they accept what they are they will be fine. " I personally don't know if I trust anything to be that easy but maybe it is."
I can speak only from my experience. Accepting myself was the start. Everything changed in an instant. I am now flowing with myself and not against myself, so everything is ok. The real pattern changes are taking a very long time. But that's ok. Sometimes the pain rises up within me and it feels terrible, but I know this is a part of me seeking resolution and I know my self will resolve it.
These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them. ~ Rumi
*Here's an excerpt from a "letter" I wrote to him 4 months after the relationship ended.
My greatest mistake was anticipating your depth. Your boyish sense of humour, your cleverness and creativity - these are the good things in you and you refused to share them. I was always waiting for them, always waiting for you. In the end, I knocked on your head and found no-one there. You’re an organism consumed in satisfying your basic needs... a vacuous creature, bereft of your place in relationship and society. A wasted human, you're simply a highly functional, cognisant organism. Not an agent to pity, nor to feel anger at. You just are.
I now think we are all highly functional, cognisant organisms :D, differently equipped.
I feel it's so important to keep telling our own stories, with their full-bodied emotion and cognisance; artefacts of the colourful and adaptive beings that we are. To do this, to retain our selfhood, yet to create space for the other is the boldest achievement, the richest life, the awakening born of previously unfathomable experience.
DeleteIsolation is the psychopath's tool for a reason: their ambition, their goals are individual successes, individual triumphs, individual survival. Isolation makes easy prey of a social animal such as a human.
Sociality is the strength of the species. Companionship and collaboration forge new paths and solve problems of adaptation for the individual and for the social group.
Diversity within the population allows the species to address the endless variety of environmental challenges we face.
I think it's inaccurate and unhelpful to say one can "fail" a psychopath test (http://www.playbuzz.com/gregs/can-you-pass-the-psychopath-test.)
But I also think it's important to create a grounded and realistic view of neurodiversity and that requires a full understanding and acceptance of the realities of both neurotypical and psychopathic human conditions.
More on the Jinn and their fans:
ReplyDeleteIn the name of God, The Merciful, The Compassionate.
"And indeed individuals of humankind used to invoke the protection of individuals of the jinn, so that they increased them in revolt (against God);
And indeed they supposed, even as you suppose, that God would not raise anyone (from the dead) -
(the Jinn who had listened to the Qur'an said): And that we sought to reach heaven, but we found it filled with strong guards and flaming stars.
And we used to sit on places (high) therein to listen. But he who listens now finds a flame in wait for him;
And that we know not whether evil is meant for those who are on earth or whether their Lord means to bring them good:
And among us there are righteous folk and among us there are far from that. We are sects having different rules.
And we know that we cannot escape from God in the earth, nor can we escape by flight.
And when we heard the guidance, we believed therein, and whoso believes in his Lord, he fears neither loss nor oppression.
And there are among us some who have surrendered (to God) and there are among us some who are unjust. And whosoever has surrendered to God, such have taken the right path purposefully.
And as for those who are unjust, they are firewood for hell."
Quran 72: 6-15
I believe there is a high possibility he is a borderline. Depression can cause feelings of emptiness, the feeling of numbness he referred to. And that all together can cause lack of interest, "boredom", and lack of sense of purpose. We've had another person in the past who sent to M.E. saying that he'd confused depression with sociopathy.
ReplyDeleteBorderlines have emotional instability. They are often overwhelmed by feelings and that easily causes numbness. Borderlines are well known to feeling undesirably empty, and lack an identity so they, similary to sociopaths, adjust themselves to people. They too are different from other people and they come to reconize it sooner or later. A lot if not all are "manipulators" too. And I say "manipulators" cause in antithesis with sociopaths they oftenly do is subconsciously. They have great needs, and they are always searching for someone to "fix" them. Sociopaths go through the cycle idealize value discard, borderlines do too. The difference is that their victim is not alone in tha game, they also idealize the "victim", so at firts, at least, it is mutual. Which would explain this persons will to actually befriend people, and also the part were even though he at first wanted them he ended up leaving and getting bored, which is exactly what borderlines do. And it's quite natural after spending your whole life "manipulating" people(presenting an ideal self so they will like it cause you are desperate to get them at first), once you realize it, to use it to your advantage. Some borderlines do it so well they could be professional actors.
"I meet some people and I try and manipulate them into being my friend not to use but because I crave the companionship" this is exactly what describes a borderline. Borderlines can love animals, want to have realtionships with people, and if they ever become aware of what they are doing(depends on intelligence) they use their skills to their advantage. Without meaning that a borderline can become a sociopath once aware, since they will still be moody, craving love and attention, and often be depressed. In the bpd this person has no contradicting characteristics. And I repeat like I've said before a sociopath will be definite he/she is a sociopath always, there is no in denial, nor contradicting characteristics.
-VN
I don't think feeling momentarily "down" is synonymous with clinical depression, OP. I identify as someone with a lot of psychopathic traits, and I've never experienced it. That would require me to hold on to an emotional state for more than 15.3 seconds. :P
ReplyDeleteMy internal landscape is only nominally influenced by my outer circumstances. I lose sleep over anything. But I suppose it is easy for me to say that, because I've got it real good.
I *don't lose sleep over anything, that is.
DeleteM.E u should kill urself ugly whore.
ReplyDeleteOh yes. She should kill herself because an anonymous coward calls her ugly. I'll bet she's sharpening the razor as I type.~ :P
DeleteM.E. is very attractive. You, on the other hand, are probably obese. and riddled with pustular acne. Sucks to be you. xD
You know I did much better anti-God and anti-religious jokes in my time. If not for the fact that today I know God exists and the Quran is His Speech, I would have played along.
ReplyDeleteI'm not proud to say this nor am I boasting
...Just look at you go, narc. XD
Now you're bragging about how YOUR jokes were better, whilst assuring everyone that you're not actually bragging. Lol.
On that note…
• You claim that Mohammed was the most empathetic man in history, even though he was a person who sanctioned rape, slavery, paedophilia, torture and decapitation.
• You blatantly ignore what extensive studies in the fields of psychiatry and neuroscience have revealed about psychopath y in favour of superstition and personal bias, whilst stridently making false claims about what it is and isn’t- in spite of repeated efforts on the part of those who identify as psychopathic to educate you on the subject.
• You ignore what people say about themselves, choosing instead to cling to irrational delusions (such as insisting that I am the psycho who abused you), in spite of being presented with ample evidence to the contradict them.
Are you detecting a pattern, yet, Joanie? I sure have. And it begs a very important question:
If you profess to speak authoritatively and with certainty about these things, but cannot be trusted to be reliable with regard to even very concrete, simple matters, why on *EARTH* would anyone listen to you about God?
If there is a God -and I am convinced for many reasons that there is- He is not found within the schizophrenic, quasi-incoherent ramblings of the contradictory and capricious deity in the Qur’an. But He is revealed in the sharp tongue, incisive wit, stout heart, unimpeachable integrity, and sacrificial altruism of Jesus Christ.
I think there is much truth to be gleaned from different faiths. I have a deep appreciation for Buddhism (which is not so much a faith as a practical philosophy), Judaism, Hinduism, Zoroastrianism, as well as many other spiritual paths. But Islam is different. Islam is based upon the deceptions promulgated by a self-serving, megalomaniacal, paedophilic tyrant.
When called on any of these points, you run away, disengage- claiming offense or strain at gnats (whilst swallowing whole herds of Muhammad’s camels. XD)
You think that by uttering the Shahada, praying 5 times a day, giving alms, fasting on Ramadan, and going on the Hajj you will be saved?
There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death. (Proverbs 14:12)
Eternal life cannot be earned or bought- only received in faith:
Therefore no one will be declared righteous in God’s sight by the works of the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of our sin.21 But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. 22 This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. 25 God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. (Rom. 3:20-25)
You. Will. Know. A. Tree. By. The. Fruit. It. Bears.
You don’t need to save me, Joanie. I have already been saved by one whose arms are much more Powerful than yours. It is where you will spend *your* eternity that is in question.
“If you sincerely drink poison, it will kill you; if you sincerely cut your throat, you will die. If you sincerely believe a lie, you will suffer the consequences. You must not only be sincere, but you must be right.” - Charles Spurgeon
Better work on that track record. :P
Yours,
DeleteA "sincere reader".
It is like schizophrenia in which a patient has some sort of disturbance but its mind makes it so big that it dominates all the normal mental activities of the patient and we at Physiotherapy North Ryde face a lot of people like that who need relief from mental and physical depression and we provide them what they need to come in to their normal life and become a source of happiness for the rest.
ReplyDeleteIn some research I've done, it's often reported that ASPD correlates with at least mild depression. I've met sociopaths who experience levels of anxiety, depression, etc. Interestingly, personality disorders often occur comorbidly, and/or share traits. If the reader does have ASPD, they may well have traits of or another full-fledged personality disorder as well (say, Borderline). It's also possible they have a different disorder (possibly Asberger's) with traits of ASPD.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking as someone with (among other but less relevant things) BPD, Asberger's, and traits of ASPD, there can be a lot of confusion, obfuscation, and conflict when one experiences comorbid disorders. This of course does not invalidate one's disorders. It serves to show that the human brain is not as clearly defined as we would like it to be.
Wonderful article, a bunch of write-an-essay.org/college-paper
ReplyDeletehigh-quality material. I’m going to point out to my girlftriend and ask them the things they think.
I am in love with a Sociopath. I think he is the most amazing guy I have ever me, which makes me question if I am on the spectrum ( high chances not). I discovered he was a Sociopath, after we broke up because I lost in on him and yelled at him for trying to trick me. There is something about him I really like. He is so sexy, smart, and just very mysterious. I know he finds me attractive, and I catch him trying to manipulate me, and I tell him "no" and he just laughs at me. He says I am fun and he loves my personality. I know we cannot be in a relationship because it will only end HORRIBLY. Can someone please let me know if it's possible to stay friends with a Sociopath? I would totally marry this guy if I had to but realistically I know that it cannot happen. HELP!!!!
ReplyDelete