A reader pitched me an encounter he had with a stranger that he suspected was sociopathic and asked if he could have done anything better than he did:
I enjoy reading the Sociopath World blog.
I have had difficulties with sociopaths in my lifetime. Myself being a little different, I seem to be viewed as easy prey.
It seems impossible to remove myself from a situation with a sociopath whether it is a long term relationship or short term encounter.
The frustrating part is I feel I am able to politely remove myself from any situation I might encounter with a sociopath but I feel even being polite does not work. I have seen situations where a person asks another person politely asks someone to stop doing something and the person physically attacks them.
Here is a scenario I encountered recently at a casino.
I walk up to a slot machine. A person who I realized later on was a sociopath is sitting at the chair at the machine I want to play. Here is the dialogue and what transpired.
Me: Excuse me. Is anyone using this machine?
Sociopath: No. Do you want to use it? ( My thinking already was this guy is probably an arrogant sociopath. OF COURSE I WANT TO USE IT. I am sure in his mind he was being polite by putting the power in his corner by asking if I want to use it. As if he is being a nice guy doing me a favor. If I was sitting at a machine and someone asked me this I would just say "No" and get up and leave.).
Me: Thank you.
The sociopath sits at the chair next to me. He was dressed and groomed appropriately but I am the type of person that can figure people out easily. He looked like he just got out of jail.
I proceed to play and begin winning huge. It was insane how much I was winning. When winning reels came up the sociopath would calculate how much my winnings were as if he was doing me a favor. After I hit the spin button on the machine he would put his hand up and pretend to control the reels on the machine. (I was thinking how could he not realize he was being as annoying as fuck.) He would also give me fist pumps. This guy was annoying the hell out of me and knew eventually he would ask me for money. I was actually afraid of him and wanted nothing to do with him. But the machine was so hot I could not leave. I thought I would be able to play along, be friendly, and get the hell out. I even gave him a beer for free. I was in Las Vegas so drinks are complimentary so it cost me a $1.00 tip. I jokingly told him that he was a good luck charm
After one winning spin he says, "Gimme some" in a half angry voice. He thought it was funny but he couldn't care less how inappropriate it was. I stared at him for 10 seconds hoping he could get the message I was not giving him a dime.
During my conversation with him, he told me how he was moving to Las Vegas for his brother. I could tell it was a lie. I asked what he did for a living. He said architect which was horseshit. He asked me what my favorite type of food to eat was. I said Italian. Of course he tells me his is also an Italian chef. This guy saw dollar signs and was spewing lies everywhere.
At this point I was thinking how crazy he was for thinking I would believe his crap. I thought my only way out was to pretend to be his friend and hope that would be enough for him to not rob me.
Two hours later I racked up about $2.5K on the machine. I was ready to leave. I wanted to say, " I am tired. I am going to get back to my hotel room. My girlfriend must be wondering where I am." I didn't.
I was afraid even being polite and reasonable with him would make him angry. I asked if he wanted to go to another casino with me. I thought about not cashing in my TITO (machine payout slip). I could say to him "I do not want to carry around this much cash." I decided to cash the TITO to show him my trust I had.
I told him I would drive. So here I am in a car with a sociopath and $2.5K cash. We get to the casino. I end up winning another $500. Fast forward we get back in the car and I take him back to his hotel. He asks if I could buy dinner for his "good luck charm". I gave him $20.00 and felt like I got off cheap. It was a traumatic experience.
My questions are.
Would a raging sociopath like this have pulled a knife and robbed me in a casino with a million cameras?
Would being reasonable with him have gotten me out of the situation?
What should I have done?
My response:
I actually think you played this pretty well? I mean, I probably would have never gotten in the car with him, but maybe that was what was necessary to continue the evening in a way that didn't interrupt your plans while waiting for him to get kind of tired of you? I.e. you never provoked him until he got over the dangerous initial period in which he was likely to act on impulse. You know what I mean? Like after he had been around you for an hour or two, any impulse to attack you would have been less strong and less likely to be acted on until you were just another possible opportunity that never came to fruition? I don't know.
But what does everyone else think?
I enjoy reading the Sociopath World blog.
I have had difficulties with sociopaths in my lifetime. Myself being a little different, I seem to be viewed as easy prey.
It seems impossible to remove myself from a situation with a sociopath whether it is a long term relationship or short term encounter.
The frustrating part is I feel I am able to politely remove myself from any situation I might encounter with a sociopath but I feel even being polite does not work. I have seen situations where a person asks another person politely asks someone to stop doing something and the person physically attacks them.
Here is a scenario I encountered recently at a casino.
I walk up to a slot machine. A person who I realized later on was a sociopath is sitting at the chair at the machine I want to play. Here is the dialogue and what transpired.
Me: Excuse me. Is anyone using this machine?
Sociopath: No. Do you want to use it? ( My thinking already was this guy is probably an arrogant sociopath. OF COURSE I WANT TO USE IT. I am sure in his mind he was being polite by putting the power in his corner by asking if I want to use it. As if he is being a nice guy doing me a favor. If I was sitting at a machine and someone asked me this I would just say "No" and get up and leave.).
Me: Thank you.
The sociopath sits at the chair next to me. He was dressed and groomed appropriately but I am the type of person that can figure people out easily. He looked like he just got out of jail.
I proceed to play and begin winning huge. It was insane how much I was winning. When winning reels came up the sociopath would calculate how much my winnings were as if he was doing me a favor. After I hit the spin button on the machine he would put his hand up and pretend to control the reels on the machine. (I was thinking how could he not realize he was being as annoying as fuck.) He would also give me fist pumps. This guy was annoying the hell out of me and knew eventually he would ask me for money. I was actually afraid of him and wanted nothing to do with him. But the machine was so hot I could not leave. I thought I would be able to play along, be friendly, and get the hell out. I even gave him a beer for free. I was in Las Vegas so drinks are complimentary so it cost me a $1.00 tip. I jokingly told him that he was a good luck charm
After one winning spin he says, "Gimme some" in a half angry voice. He thought it was funny but he couldn't care less how inappropriate it was. I stared at him for 10 seconds hoping he could get the message I was not giving him a dime.
During my conversation with him, he told me how he was moving to Las Vegas for his brother. I could tell it was a lie. I asked what he did for a living. He said architect which was horseshit. He asked me what my favorite type of food to eat was. I said Italian. Of course he tells me his is also an Italian chef. This guy saw dollar signs and was spewing lies everywhere.
At this point I was thinking how crazy he was for thinking I would believe his crap. I thought my only way out was to pretend to be his friend and hope that would be enough for him to not rob me.
Two hours later I racked up about $2.5K on the machine. I was ready to leave. I wanted to say, " I am tired. I am going to get back to my hotel room. My girlfriend must be wondering where I am." I didn't.
I was afraid even being polite and reasonable with him would make him angry. I asked if he wanted to go to another casino with me. I thought about not cashing in my TITO (machine payout slip). I could say to him "I do not want to carry around this much cash." I decided to cash the TITO to show him my trust I had.
I told him I would drive. So here I am in a car with a sociopath and $2.5K cash. We get to the casino. I end up winning another $500. Fast forward we get back in the car and I take him back to his hotel. He asks if I could buy dinner for his "good luck charm". I gave him $20.00 and felt like I got off cheap. It was a traumatic experience.
My questions are.
Would a raging sociopath like this have pulled a knife and robbed me in a casino with a million cameras?
Would being reasonable with him have gotten me out of the situation?
What should I have done?
My response:
I actually think you played this pretty well? I mean, I probably would have never gotten in the car with him, but maybe that was what was necessary to continue the evening in a way that didn't interrupt your plans while waiting for him to get kind of tired of you? I.e. you never provoked him until he got over the dangerous initial period in which he was likely to act on impulse. You know what I mean? Like after he had been around you for an hour or two, any impulse to attack you would have been less strong and less likely to be acted on until you were just another possible opportunity that never came to fruition? I don't know.
But what does everyone else think?
#1!!!
ReplyDeleteI think I have a knack for making "friends" like this everywhere I go. I also think it's strange to be reading this because today I've been thinking about how I can avoid these people all together.
ReplyDeleteGenuine politeness followed by a firm warning (if the former didn't work) to back off would have gotten him off your back immediately. It's worked for me whenever I got into any similar situation. Mind you sociopaths, however, are not usually capable of genuine politeness or standing their grounds without ample protection.
ReplyDeleteIn the name of God, The Merciful, The Compassionate.
Delete"And they imagine kinship between him and the jinn, whereas the jinn know well that they will be brought before (Him).
Glorified be God from that which they attribute (unto Him)."
Quran 37: 158-159
"And certainly We have created for hell many of the jinn and the men; they have hearts with which they do not understand, and they have eyes with which they do not see, and they have ears with which they do not hear; they are as cattle, nay, they are in worse errors; these are the heedless ones."
DeleteQuran 7: 179
Yeah! "I will cast terror into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Therefore strike off their heads and strike off every fingertip of them"
DeleteRight?
Quran 8:12
Reading these little interlocutions serves to remind me how very neatly we create our own little realities... And of how little it matters how factually incorrect we are for the actual survival of our organisms.
DeleteNaturally, the closer we model reality, the better we can navigate it, the better our qualitative experience actually is.
“How do you know but that every bird that cleaves the aerial way is not an immense world of delight closed to your senses five?” So marveled William Blake two centuries before we had the tools to confirm that, at the very least, every dog is a world of delight closed to our limited powers of sensorial perception. Out of such seemingly simple discoveries across the animal kingdom sprang the rattling realization that our notion of “reality” is really a plurality of radically divergent impressions, shaped by the singular biases of perception that each of us brings to our experience of the world. The same sliver of “reality” — a table, a flower, a city block — is experienced in a wholly different way by a bird, a dog, Blake, and you.
From Brain Pickings
To clarify my point, this is why I like to come here. To supplement my own "singular biases" with anything useful a can glean from perceptive/operational frameworks that differ utterly from my own.
DeleteIt is not easy to accept that there are other realities. Especially when they can mirror your own so closely. In fact it is especially mind bending. I have so wanted to just look away but for whatever reason I can't.
DeleteQuran chapter 12 begins with a mention of the Battle of Badr. This was the first war Muhammad and his companions were involved in and it was defensive. Muhammad had set out to capture a Meccan caravan which was full of the property of Muslims. Their enemies - who had already driven them out from Mecca and taken their properties for themselves - now came with a 1000 men to kill them all off. It was a decisive victory for the small band of Muslims numbering 313 and a turning point in Muhammad's mission. Anyone can easily verify this. In any case, I will quote the FULL verse (8:12) and the one following it.
DeleteIn the name of God, The Merciful, The Compassionate.
"When thy Lord inspired the angels, (saying): I am with you. So make those who believe stand firm. I will throw fear into the hearts of those who disbelieve. Then smite the necks and smite of them each finger.
That is because they opposed God and His messenger. Whoso opposes God and His messenger, (for him) lo! God is severe in punishment."
Quran 8: 12-13
Incidentally one of the most interesting facts about the Battle of Badr was that ALL the leaders of the enemies of Muhammad (except one who didn't participate but died within a week from an illness) died in this first battle. Anyone reading about them, chief among them being Abu Jahl, will immediately realize that he was a "high functioning" psychopath of the worst kind. In this small battle, all the big psychos were killed off in one go. The vast majority of those who participated eventually converted to Islam over the next 10 years.
So let's keep things in perspective.
Thank you.
Anon 5:21
Delete" In fact it is especially mind bending. I have so wanted to just look away but for whatever reason I can't."
Your style has impact, never a word too many. If you are interested, could you share a little more of how this plays out for you?
I also found the experience mind bending, especially as it was so personal. This is why I bang on about models all the time. I reshaped my own cognitive structures for understanding human nature / human sociality to include such things as my experience. This process was fed by curiosity, which is inevitable in our cases. It is the regular human response to pain, and coming from a previously unfathomable source, the how also becomes important.
I regard this process as adaptation and consider it a joy. I regard my own organism (everyone's really) with amazement: see what flexibility we are capable of within unstable environments? It's simply staggering when viewed like this and I give myself permission for curiousity because I trust myself to appropriately adapt.
What I have learnt, though, is to treat my curiosity spikes as expeditions and to prepare accordingly. The ideas of risk management and preparation and self-care are all so new to me. I see these new tendencies as further evidence of adaptation.
I write so much, I know. It's my tool for crystallisation: I learn about my own processes by writing in response to the insights triggered from reading other people here.
DeleteThis is what I mean in saying I'm "working out my own salvation" on this blog. I love to read others' viewpoints because in this unchartered territory (for neurotypicals) any first-person reports or photographs or maps or interviews help me add lines, contours, colours to my map and I hope the odd thing I share assists others with their own. I suppose it's a very personal ethnography of sorts.
North I feel my words can never quite get to the iceburg that exists below the surface. But for whatever reason I was given a glimpse of something I couldn't ignore. I don't believe everyone is given that and now that fact seems strange to me.
DeleteAnonymous 10:42
DeleteApologies for interjecting but I'm curious what is this "glimpse" you're referring to?
Thanks.
Thanks for sharing Anon.
DeleteThere were times when I felt to be looking into the depths and brightness of the endless universe. I want to say that our brains can find the way through, and they know their own ways.
Would you like to explain the character of the strangeness? If you don't want to or it isn't useful, feel free to ignore :) I'd like to say something helpful but don't know enough to save from clomping around like an elephant. I suppose the best thing I can say is that I'm on the journey too and it's nice to not be alone.
"There were times when I felt to be looking into the depths and brightness of the endless universe."
DeleteNot so sound petty but the Universe is not endless. It has a beginning and will certainly have and end. This much has been proven by physicists. I bring this up because it is an age old debate in philosophy: is the world eternal or finite. The Monotheistic religions especially emphasized Creation Ex Nihilo and the philosophers & scientists (until about a century ago) claimed that the Cosmos was eternal in time & space. The implications of an endless, eternal universe are obvious: God becomes unnecessary.
I should add that the so called "Multiverse" theory is nothing more than a concoction designed to avoid the obvious: the Universe seems to be designed and created. It even uses deceptive language in its very name. The word "universe" or "cosmos" or "world" traditionally and by definition always meant EVERYTHING there is. "Multiverse" is literally like saying "Multiple Everything."
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI was like this formerly, believing politeness was the best plan. There are reasons for those sorts of beliefs, for example they may have been an effective strategy in childhood. This belief, however, may not be driving the most adaptive behaviours for you now.
ReplyDeleteWe attract people based on unconscious signals. When we change ourselves, we attract different people.
Learning about and creating personal boundaries is the key. You were put off by him from the start; trust your own instincts and don't engage with people like that. Don't speak to them.
I recommend experimenting in your imagination. Recall the events and your feelings and play out scenarios in which you are assertive ie you act in accordance with how you are feeling. There are two benefits to this approach:
1. Doing things differently, changing old patterns, feels strange. You may feel strange even imagining it. It's good to get some practice.
2. The brain, however, doesn't distinguish between real and imaginary events which makes these techniques very powerful. Mental imagery is a very commonly used technique in elite sport for this reason: imagery does create new/reinforce desired pathways.
All the best
I really enjoy reading your posts. You're very intelligent, and a fellow empath like myself, right? This blog is highly fascinating. I have been visiting here on and off for years.
DeleteShut up. You don't know the first thing about "genuine psychopathy", Joanie. You'd rather cling to ignorant superstitions based upon your own personal prejudices and misconceptions, without any regard whatsoever for the truth. You are a deceived deceiver.
ReplyDelete"Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into a pit?"
I don't care how mainstream it is or how many film snobs on here don't like it, but Patrick Bateman from American psycho is the most accurate portrayal of a psychopath of any film. From Patrick's portrayal of himself as an ordinary trustworthy gentleman to his alien like surprise then afterwards disgust, at human weakness and degeneracy. It's spot on. Minus the murders, it's the most accurate portrayal. Mr blonde? Overblown and ridiculous. Hannibal lector? Awful. The plot is way too stereotypical and autistic.
ReplyDeleteI'd imagine all psychopaths can relate to Bateman. He's unassuming, anti social, highly self important, boyish. Beyond his conscious, deep within his unconscious is a vast sea of melancholy and rage that haunts his every waking moment.
The book is better than the movie, which is still brilliant. Of course, you wouldn't know that, because you "don't have the capacity to tolerate boredom to read". And believe me, it shows in your poor phrasing, dipshit. :P
DeleteA,
Deletewhy dont' you fuck off you obnoxious cunt? Sociopaths and psychopaths are the scum of the earth, and believe me, it shows in your arrogant, condescending phrasing, you piece of shit.
In my view the most common weakness people have is they're too judgemental of others. Show me a person who's judgemental of others and I'll show you one who's judgemental of themselves. Here's some advice for you peons. To have complete freedom and power, you must remove all judgements and opinions of others and put all focus on self. If you can silence your inner bully or as I call it 'the inner critic' nothing can stop you. Now I never leave the house without grabbing my top hat and cape. If you wanna walk around like a careful boring wall flower then be my guest, but people respect my extravagance.
ReplyDeleteYou sure do enjoy living large, as you sip your hipster coffee and gorge yourself on shit pizza you can't afford. Such extravagance! Did your aunt buy your top hat and cape too?
DeleteWhy do you try to limit me? it just shows that inside you limit yourself. If you had an evolved state of perception, you would try to forge your own legacy, but you cling to giants. I think you have some serious father issues and that's why you cling to strong men. It's the classic battered wife syndrome. I heard that idiot Trump likes people like you, go support him. You match the profile of a Trump supporter. Idiots who think that by supporting powerful figures some of that prestige will rub off on them. A sad sight indeed.
DeleteHopefully, you can take advice from a poem I wrote called, My Friends -
My friends are glorious and deserving of endless poems and statues. My enemies are dog droppings and shall be walked by and forgotten.
Adam, your "poem" is one of the more impressive little pieces of propaganda I've seen. You have a knack for subtle artful brainwashing. It's genius tier. You sly gremlin.
DeleteLOL! That's fucking hilarious, coming from someone who blustered onto this blog, bragging about how he "rubbed shoulders with UKan"- someone you've repeatedly claimed to admire, and view as powerful. Are you a battered wife, creampuff?
DeleteBtw, your self-supporting wingmen could use some work. Since I'm feeling generous, I'll advise you that your selection of the name "Spencer" gave you away.
Your tactics are altogether transparent, you manipulative mastermind, you! XD
Go read a book, or something. You might actually learn a thing or two.
Where to start, OP?
ReplyDeleteYou let this guy walk all over you. You're lucky he *didn't* rob you.
Firstly, why would you go out of your way to show trust for an individual who was giving you every reason to suspect that he was unworthy of it? That is absurd. You should not have cashed the ticket in this person’s presence. You should have told him at that point that you were going back to your hotel room. You didn't owe him any explanations. But in reality, you should not have allowed the situation to reach that point.
I would have not started playing until the guy left. I would have stared at him pointedly, and if he didn't get the message, I would have told him directly to leave me alone, because I don't like playing around strangers. If he objected, I would not have hesitated to be very firm, and very impolite about it. If he started acting belligerently, I wouldn’t hesitate to make a huge scene, and have the nuisance ejected from my presence.
The extent to which people will go because they are afraid of looking bad in front of others never ceases to astonish me.
@ OP in blog entry:
Delete"another person politely asks someone to stop doing something and the person physically attacks them."
Highly likely the attacker was drunk therefore aggressive.
Very much less likely: your assumption about their personality.
"( My thinking already was this guy is probably an arrogant sociopath."
...as you are a clinical psychologist by profession with expertise in this area of course....
"If I was sitting at a machine and someone asked me this I would just say "No" and get up and leave.)."
....or you're on the autism spectrum and totally oblivious about your own cultural norms let alone anyone else's.
Someone just saying 'no' and getting off that chair would be considered very abrupt and rude in many countries, and normal in others.
"He asks if I could buy dinner for his "good luck charm". I gave him $20.00 and felt like I got off cheap."
So, someone watches you play, sees you win ~$2K, ends up asking you to buy him a modest $20 dinner, and:
"It was a traumatic experience."
That fear thing really does get to some people, for sure.
Joking aside: just learn how to say "No". Politely, with a smile on your face, to avoid provoking anyone who's drunk that you can't detect well either.
In fact, reading the whole thing, you were very kind, he might have been lonely or broke, you had company while you were winning, you gave him a ride to his hotel etc.: nothing wrong with any of that.
But, you can't be that way if it's going to terrify you at the same time. So choose. Kindness or fear.
Re comment at 4.14pm:
DeleteOops. Forgot to sign the above. Impolite of me. XK
I have to agree, I read the OP and my first thought was "this guy sounds like a complete tool". There's politeness and then there's being a doormat.
DeleteShow some damn self-respect. And you were in a casino, I could not think of a better place to have/avoid a confrontation short of a police officer convention. There's cameras and security all over the place (Unless you ere in some shady place but you certainly don't sound like the type for it).
Bottom line: toughen up
The way I see it, this guy was rudely imposing himself in the OP's personal space, behaving unpredictably and inappropriately in an environment where high stakes are involved. That alone would be sufficient cause for me to take the necessary steps to ensure his removal from my presence, be it voluntarily, or because I called security.
DeleteThe OP asked what he could have done differently. In my view, it isn't a question of choosing between kindness or fear- it is a question of knowing and enforcing one's personal boundaries.
Taking steps to safeguard one's best interests isn't fearful, it's smart.
Someone like the OP described is a nuisance at best, and a potential threat, at worst.
Ain't nobody got time for 'dat. ;)
I'd advise anyone on this blog to show me my due respect. When I came here first I ran two regulars off here completely. One was a peg legged tranny called Zhawq and some boring tart called Haven, they were the weakest links so I got rid of them. I also gave some of the big cheeses a few bloody noses such as Misanthrope who I outgunned in every argument and TheNotablePath who couldn't match my sharp surreal wit.
ReplyDeleteAre you high?
DeleteYou never ran anyone off this blog- except perhaps in fits of laughter- which would only be fitting, considering your "illustrious" status as SW's biggest laughingstock.
DeleteTnp would mop the floor with you. :P
I'm afraid all of his claims are true. I am somewhat of a sociopathworld historian. He gave those two undesirables a barrage of bombardments in the form of insults. Their weathered huts were no match for his advanced heavy artillery. It was a massacre, they wouldn't come back while he was around and I felt very bad for them.
DeleteWho's up for a bet that Adam and Spencer are the 'Two Faces of Adam'.
Delete@ Spencer the sociopath historian:
In which month and year did an individual mention he was getting married?
And I've been around long enough to recognize horseshit when I smell it. Step awaaaay from the stinky sock, Adam. :P
Delete"who couldn't match my sharp surreal wit."
Delete[puzzled look] where's that gone then?
XK
Envy is the worst disease. Seriously, get help. XK you are the most unflattering person on this website. Show a photo of yourself, coward. When I get into power I will put you straight to death. What you have said is a grand crime.
Delete@ Adam at 6.22pm:
Delete"Envy is the worst disease."
I absolutely agree. Have you had chemotherapy for it yet?
"What you have said is a grand crime."
Obviously you are a major scorer on the Factor2 bits of the PCL-R. Your grasp of the criminal statutes is stupid[ahem] I meant, of course, stupendous. Phew.
ROFL
...actually I've had to pause before carrying on typing I'm laughing so hard I can't press the right keys.....
ROFL
"you are the most unflattering person on this website."
I have *tiny* suspicion that you are not quite aware of the compliment you have just uttered, by your somewhat unfortunate non-grasp of vocabulary. LOL
Must be all that non-reading of books.
Anyway, [pulling my cowardly and secret self together, off the floor, having fallen off seat] - thanks for the humour.
Pity about your still-missing sharp satirical wit though.....
something more to look forward to perhaps, in future.....?
XK
I'm a writer, poet, comedian, singer and show man. With a one liner have you made the entirety of your school roar with fits of laughter? Of course you didn't because you are a beta male with limp fingers and a common brain. Give me your address and I'll send you an invite to one of my big shows, then we will see how big you are. I bet you're some grungy looking tosser with social phobia.
Delete@ Adam at 6.53pm
DeleteI agree, you're definitely a comedian. Also, deluded.
"When I came here first I ran two regulars off here completely. One was a peg legged TRANNY called Zhawq"
Well known phenomenon: people usually accuse other people of stuff they are prone to do, [or are] themselves. So, what with your obsession about your looks you've described a few days ago, plus the fact beautiful women look at you when you're out and about, then laugh at you with disgust....see where we're going with this one, sweetie?
Now, considering Zhawq's first language is not English, I'd say it was more a case of he just got irritated having to decipher your effete way of using the English language, gave up in disgust - and guess what - started his own blog [which incidentally is quite informative]. I'm sure you're aware of that but as it's moderated he no doubt deleted any of your sh*t you ever dared post into there.
I think Spencer the historian needs to get his facts straight.
"and some boring tart called Haven,"
I grant you - she was boring.
However, while I appreciate your probably unintended humour, you're too easy to bait and trip up.
"you are a beta male with limp
fingers and a common brain [snip] I bet you're some grungy looking tosser with social phobia."
8-)
There's that psychological projection thing again. And the delusions...
"I'll send you an invite to one of my big shows"
No longer interested.
XK
I agree with you about that Haven person. She had a very uninteresting banal mind. Her biggest achievements in life which she would not shut up about was she slept with anything with a pulse and put more things down her throat than scientists thought was humanly possible. Her second achievement was she had a mental disorder which automatically made her special and worthwhile in her idiotic mind.
DeleteI'm glad I ran her off here. She was a complete waste of bandwidth and a disgrace to her nice family.
"and put more things down her throat than scientists thought was humanly possible."
DeleteIs this a completely different Adam? Because the above actually *is* sharp satirical wit.
(Not complaining - just pleasantly appreciating.)
XK
1/2
ReplyDelete"Me: Excuse me. Is anyone using this machine?"
You should have said "Are you playing this machine?"
"Sociopath: No. Do you want to use it? ( My thinking already was this guy is probably an arrogant sociopath."
He could've actually been wondering if you wanted to play it. There's nothing to indicate that he's an arrogant sociopath.
"OF COURSE I WANT TO USE IT. I am sure in his mind he was being polite by putting the power in his corner by asking if I want to use it. As if he is being a nice guy doing me a favor. If I was sitting at a machine and someone asked me this I would just say "No" and get up and leave.).
Me: Thank you."
Ok.
"The sociopath sits at the chair next to me. He was dressed and groomed appropriately but I am the type of person that can figure people out easily. He looked like he just got out of jail."
We will assume that he just got released from prison.
"I proceed to play and begin winning huge. It was insane how much I was winning. When winning reels came up the sociopath would calculate how much my winnings were as if he was doing me a favor. After I hit the spin button on the machine he would put his hand up and pretend to control the reels on the machine. (I was thinking how could he not realize he was being as annoying as fuck.)"
Casinos are full of people like this.
"He would also give me fist pumps. This guy was annoying the hell out of me and knew eventually he would ask me for money. I was actually afraid of him and wanted nothing to do with him. But the machine was so hot I could not leave. I thought I would be able to play along, be friendly, and get the hell out. I even gave him a beer for free. I was in Las Vegas so drinks are complimentary so it cost me a $1.00 tip. I jokingly told him that he was a good luck charm"
If you were afraid of him and wanted nothing to do with him, don't buy him a beer. Or give him a fist bump. Once you did he might think the 2 of you are now friends.
"After one winning spin he says, "Gimme some" in a half angry voice. He thought it was funny but he couldn't care less how inappropriate it was. I stared at him for 10 seconds hoping he could get the message I was not giving him a dime."
You should've responded "Fuck you." Casinos have more security than the White House. Especially in Las Vegas. And they're always watching everything. They can catch people doing math in their head at the blackjack tables. At most you would've been punched once or twice.
2/2
ReplyDelete"During my conversation with him, he told me how he was moving to Las Vegas for his brother."
You want nothing to do with him but now you're in a conversation with him? Fuck, you're stupid.
" I could tell it was a lie. I asked what he did for a living. He said architect which was horseshit. He asked me what my favorite type of food to eat was. I said Italian. Of course he tells me his is also an Italian chef. This guy saw dollar signs and was spewing lies everywhere."
He probably wanted you to give him some money.
"At this point I was thinking how crazy he was for thinking I would believe his crap. I thought my only way out was to pretend to be his friend and hope that would be enough for him to not rob me."
Or for you to wave to any casino employee so they come over and tell them the guy sitting next to you is creeping you out and to get security.
"Two hours later I racked up about $2.5K on the machine. I was ready to leave. I wanted to say, " I am tired. I am going to get back to my hotel room. My girlfriend must be wondering where I am." I didn't."
You should've just gotten up and left.
"I was afraid even being polite and reasonable with him would make him angry."
Once again, you're in a casino with lots of security.
"I asked if he wanted to go to another casino with me. I thought about not cashing in my TITO (machine payout slip). I could say to him "I do not want to carry around this much cash." I decided to cash the TITO to show him my trust I had."
Some guy you think just got of prison is scaring you so you ask him to go to another casino while you have a lot of money on you? You made this story up, didn't you?
"I told him I would drive."
The first smart thing you've done so far.
"So here I am in a car with a sociopath and $2.5K cash."
Which is entirely your fault.
"We get to the casino. I end up winning another $500. Fast forward we get back in the car and I take him back to his hotel."
You got back in the car with him? Idiot!
"He asks if I could buy dinner for his "good luck charm". I gave him $20.00 and felt like I got off cheap. It was a traumatic experience."
Coming to the sudden realization that you're amazingly stupid, to the point of being staggeringly retarded, often is.
"Would a raging sociopath like this have pulled a knife and robbed me in a casino with a million cameras?"
Probably not. The guy from your story sounds like a tourist(he was staying at a hotel) that was weird.
"Would being reasonable with him have gotten me out of the situation?"
Do you think what you did was unreasonable, as in too extreme?
"What should I have done?"
Pretty much anything else than what you did.
""What should I have done?"
DeletePretty much anything else than what you did."
Aha! LOL. There we go. Someone here actually *is* displaying sharp surreal wit.
Appreciated. LOL
XK
I am the person this happened to. It really is embarrassing I let this person manipulate me the way he did. A lot of the comments about coming across as a tool and I need to toughen up are accurate.
ReplyDeleteDuring the encounter I knew there were security cameras in the casino. I guess the only thought in my head was how this person could believe a total stranger he just met in a casino was going to give him money. Him telling me weird stories freaked me out. In the end I guess he was right. I did give him money.
Right. It's clear that this guy was out to mooch off of you, whether as a relatively harmless parasite, or a more sophisticated threat. By his actions, it is evident that he belongs to the first category of jackass, but next time, you may not be so lucky. Either way, it is unwise to entertain people like that.
DeleteYou were aware of the security cameras, but this person threw you for a loop with his story telling and erratic behaviour. He capitalized on the fact that most people are too polite to tell wankers to piss off when its appropriate.
But by your own admission, you’ve been burned by sociopaths before, a fact further evidenced by your immediately having jumped to the conclusion that a random stranger sitting at a slot machine was a sociopath. Who does that?
A hypervigilant individual who, by virtue of his own negative experiences, ought to have known better- yet who still gets taken for a ride. Your fear and trepidation caused you to make a series of poor decisions that could have cost you a lot more than $20.
What is the common denominator here? Your failure to assert yourself, and to set and enforce personal boundaries. This is why people take advantage of you, and this is what you need to strengthen if you wish to avoid being victimized in the future.
I understand why you could be "mezmorized" in a way by someone's unbelievable actions. I think it can be described as lack of imagination or hard to fathom. When this happens to me now I just immediately know I'm dealing with a sociopath and respond appropriately.
DeleteAt some point you have to stop internalizing how off things are and accept them as reality and get the hell out. I think that applies to most things in life.
Delete@ Jonaid & XK:
ReplyDeleteA simple google search will pull up the source, should be the first search result I believe.
Also, XK, I'm not really sure if it's just my TLE (it does effect th brain regions associated with psychopathy). I could describe my father as distinctly antisocial, as much as I remember of him. My brother possibly may have inherited it from my father at least, he had the clichés of being a serial killer of domesticated animals, primarily house cats, and had violent impulses; he's the kind of man to kick the crutches out from underneath you and kick you while you lie helplessly on the ground (which he has done before).
I remember specifically after my second extreme seizure that I do remember was when I started to experience the "annihilating rage": Irritation --> Tunnel vision and hyper focused in target --> Red haze --> Extreme urge to commit homicide on target. Back when I was discussing more on dealing with a certain woman, I was talking about how I was pushed to the point where I envisioned leaping across the room and snapping her neck. It started with the irritation which then quickly escalated to extreme blood lust.
ESTP Sociopath
"A simple google search will pull up the source, should be the first search result I believe."
DeleteIf it's so simple why didn't you cite it? I can't find it so please help me out since it was you who made this claim:
"(I covered before how 70% sufferers of TLE when their personality is assessed by an appropriate mental health professional they check out as psychopathic)"
Thank you.
"Irritation --> Tunnel vision and hyper focused in target --> Red haze --> Extreme urge to commit homicide on target."
ReplyDeleteLol. I can certainly relate to this.^
You're welcome A. :)
DeleteESTP Sociopath
I don't quite get why people perceive it to be morally wrong for me to smoke marijuana. It's very much losing it's social stigma where I live considering I live in one of the states where it is legalized. I also smoke it because it treats my epilepsy extremely effectively and lowers ill-temperedness and impulsivity for me, especially if it's indica rather then sativa. I go for a high CBD content typically in the strains I smoke.
ReplyDeleteI could take the pharmaceutical equivalent for treating epilepsy, but according to several people and a friend of mine with epilepsy that the drugs harm you as much as they help you with treating epilepsy. Marijuana has been found to not only effectively treat epilepsy, but it also lacks the toxic destructive side effects of the pharmaceutical drugs.
ESTP Sociopath
Pot also stabilizes my ill-temperedness, but it doesn't curb my impulsivity- except when I'm driving. :)
DeleteIt really helps me to be more aware of how I am impacting others, and reduces my callousness to an appreciable extent. My significant other sometimes requests that I toke when I get too intense. But the stigma is severe where I live, in my circles, and it is illegal, so I don't do it openly amongst my peers. Professionally, it would undermine my authority and credibility and as a leader... But it is something that really helps me.
I do not think smoking marijuana is morally wrong.:)
Delete~Vegas
One of the most relaxed days of my life, was on a summer day. I was with my best friend, and we had just smoked a bowl.:) We were listening to Pink Floyd, and we had a beer in one hand, and a cigarette in the other...
Delete~Vegas
@ESTP at 12.02am:
DeleteSmoking marj. is not morally wrong. But it does make people write gobs of drivel 8-) 8-).
A close relative of mine, like you, found their symptoms of epilepsy disappear, and their teenage-onset TLE go away by the time they were ~21 years old. And it ensured that they could withdraw from the Epilim they were having to take daily, in two weeks, rather than the three months the doctor was insisting on.
So, marijuana is an excellent therapeutic plant, all round.
Good to know you were not being reckless online admitting stuff about 'stuff' 8-).
Don't give Jonaid the search reference. Make him work for it.
LOL.
XK
Mind the tail.
DeleteI don't spend time looking for references that don't exist.
@ Jonaid at 5.58pm:
Delete"Mind the tail."
LOL. Good to see you managed to post something in, with just two brief sentences in it, though. Well done! Hold that thought. Forever...
"I don't spend time looking for references that don't exist."
Lackwit child. Are you looking up TLE or: temporal lobe epilepsy.
If the former: lackwit.
If the latter - Google must be 'down' today. [I suspect not.]
XK
There is no "morally wrong". Spiritually speaking, there are no rules other than experience life. But physically speaking, we have to seek pleasure and avoid pain.
ReplyDeleteAll suffering comes from guilt. Remove the guilt. Or figure a way to make it work for you.
IF I HAVE to try at anything, then its not worth doing. Because the fact that I have to try means that I've already lost.
ReplyDeleteDo or do not there is no try.
Interesting interpretation. I like it very much. If you're not following the path with heart, you are fighting yourself and cannot enjoy it.
DeleteThanks.
"The world is incapable of judging right & wrong, but it is certain that actionless action can judge both right & wrong." ~ Chuang-tzu
DeleteNice ppl are mean. I like kind ppl. Ppl who don't try to be nice. Real ppl with feelings.
ReplyDeleteSounds like an aspie meets a socio joke (is using the term socio more politically correct as opposed to psycho, due to schizophrenia connotations?).
ReplyDeleteMore likely that was a meeting between a pesky and squirrely opportunist, and an insecure and and self-centered whiner.
When I encounter people like that I charm them until they puke and their guts hate me (speaking of both types).
No spine in either of them.
I'd rather be hated for what I am than be loved for what I'm not.
If I made a rule though or a promise to my self, then it would be stupid of me to break that rule.
ReplyDeleteI can always change them and change them back tho.
DeleteOh you wise one you, teach me your ways
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I just can't seem to decide who's the "craziest" one in here.
ReplyDeleteJust last night before I happened to meet up with a few friends to play pool, drink, and smoke, I dropped by my loved one's work place. He works at a locally owned cafe as a barista. He was showing me his photography on his phone when he had the sudden urge to read some poetry he wrote for me. He was going to read it out loud, but I snatched it from his hand and read it to myself. From what I could discern it was something he intended to be emotionally loaded(?). He knows I'm a psychopath, yet after reading his poetry he wrote for me and speaking with him it seems appearant to me that he desperately wants something more emotionally from within me. One thing I've identified about him is that he has this "savior complex"; he feels the compulsion to help and "save" others to do "good", all while never truly knowing how to help himself. He seems to be fighting "inner demons", depression and anger towards himself as that's what he has expressed to me. For whatever reason, I think he feels compelled to "save" me from my psychopathy, but he can't do that. It's seemingly highly complex: genetically induced is a possibility due to what I know of my father and how my brother is, it could be just the TLE, or a combination of both, the head trauma that gave me my epilepsy in the first place, environmental factors... etc..
ReplyDeleteIs this something any other psychopaths have dealt with? Loved one/close friend who knows what you have and is desperate to save you but you know it's a more or less futile(?) effort?
ESTP Sociopath
Talk to him about all this if you actually believe any of this nonsense. If the love is real and mutual, you'll have an honest chat and benefit from it. It's better than coming up with all kinds of wild speculations just to avoid the obvious.
DeleteSorry to jump in ESTP Sociopath. This looks like classic codependency.
DeleteWhat interests me is how it relates to my own patterns and how my journey is playing out. I don't "rescue", definitely don't rescue. I "let be" or give free rein. Which, I think, is generally fine if one tends first to their own needs. This is the philosophical position of affording freedom and responsibility to each human adult.
It is, however, a dangerous approach if one is not taking care of themselves adequately. Hence my pain.
I started from a point of fascination with his way and his mode, and as I explained above, this curiosity is an adaptive mechanism. But it must be accompanied- at least in my case - with lessons in practical care of self.
ESTP Sociopath, you have identified that your love is not taking care of himself. It is the crux of the issue. He's directing his energy into saving you and others. He's likely as oblivious to these patterns as I was to mine and as Jonaid is to his. It takes a long time to learn and change.
@ Anon at 4.33pm:
Delete" If the love is real and mutual, you'll have an honest chat and benefit from it."
LOL
You stop that right now! d'you hear? [wagging finger] This place will back to relationship autopsies before you can blink, if you carry on like that. And song lyrics. And Islamic quotes.
Noooo........thunk. [falls off chair again]. ROFL.
Sigh. I realise this could be construed as a sign of mental idiocy, laughing at oneself. But the comment was so tempting.
@ Anon at 5.04 am:
"I just can't seem to decide who's the "craziest" one in here."
Not me [smug look]. The forensic psychologist said so. Definitely not mentally ill. Or one of the "Worried Well".
XK
Perhaps you are right, North. Neurotypicals do seem vulnerable to codependency, likely born from the basic need for an emotional anchoring in relationships. He doesn't seem to be entirely cognizant of this kind of behavior patterns I recognize in him, so perhaps next time I chat with him I'll bring it up.
DeleteESTP Sociopath
In the name of God, The Merciful, The Compassionate.
ReplyDelete"Assuredly the creation of the heavens and the earth is greater than the creation of mankind; but most of mankind know not.
And the blind man and the seer are not equal, neither are those who believe and do good works (equal with) the evil-doer. Little do you reflect!
Most surely the hour is coming, there is no doubt therein, but most people do not believe.
And your Lord says: Call upon Me, I will answer you; surely those who are too proud for My service shall soon enter hell abased.
God it is Who made for you the night that you may rest therein and the day to see; most surely God is Gracious to men, but most of mankind do not give thanks.
Such is God, your Lord, the Creator of all things, There is no God save Him. How then are you perverted?
Thus are deluded those who are wont to reject the Signs of God.
God it is Who appointed for you the earth for a dwelling-place and the sky for a canopy, and fashioned you and perfected your shapes, and has provided you with good things. Such is God, your Lord. Then blessed be God, the Lord of the Worlds!
He is the Living One. There is no God save Him. So pray unto Him, making religion pure for Him (only). Praise be to God, the Lord of the Worlds!"
Quran 40: 57-65
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I'd like to buy two quotes.I pay cash
DeleteCash?? Oh no, nothing of the sort, good sir! You are too kind, but all of the quotes are free and available to all seekers of thy tru belief! Thy god is merciful, fair and kind!*
Delete*By using the quotes and accepting the will of the muslim god, you hereby agree to surrender any and all rationality, tolerance, common sense and sense of humour. Leaving or rejecting the faith is prohibited and is punishable by death.
Quran Quotes is not responsible for any delusions, jihadistic urges, suicides, deaths, bad reputations or any other potential damages incurred by the individual towards himself/herself and/or other individuals or groups.
You know I did much better anti-God and anti-religious jokes in my time. If not for the fact that today I know God exists and the Quran is His Speech, I would have played along.
DeleteI'm not proud to say this nor am I boasting. I'm just saying that "faith" (by which I mean belief & trust in God) easily trumps everything you think you'll give up in order to get it (i.e. sense of humor...which you don't give up, you just filter it).
I still can't help but make "sociopathic" jokes even now but I go out of my way to not do so here on this blog. In spite of what sociopaths think, they misread anything innocent that has a hint of apathy as sociopathic.
DeleteLol! Okay, okay, you are right about the jokes;
DeleteJoanie, you are the biggest anti-God and anti-religious joke in existence. Congratulations! :-)
I'm no longer the lonely little girl he seduced
ReplyDeleteIt's been a big week. These are the sorts of revelations and growth that come of following what my heart has chosen. It's fucking extraordinary, just amazing how these things play out.
I literally have no clue what will happen when I trust myself but it's always like the gates of the universe open to me, or scales fall from my eyes.
I am whole. I am completely ok.
That said, I am certain growth will continue.
I wanted to record this since I played the little cycle out here.
I have been wrestling with my own emotions. Repulsion which I don't think I've ever felt previously. Its an overpowering physical state. I also understand the compulsion to save. I feel like an angel that can not intervene. These are conflicting emotions directed in the same direction. I am thankful that it is all moving further away from me.
ReplyDeleteI read something the other day that really struck me. When the angels fell there was a group that followed the most lost and rebellious angels. They became lost themselves even if they were mostly benign in nature. And then there was another group that longed to save the "followers" of the most rebellious angels. They eventually had to turn away or they would fall themselves. I have no desire to get into the religious theology behind this. But I am very glad I read it.
ReplyDeleteMy father was a sociopath, i beat his face in about 15 years ago near death. I stabbed my brother who was a lot like dad 5 times. They say a sociopath can't be beat.... Bullshit.
ReplyDeleteMy father was a sociopath, i beat his face in about 15 years ago near death. I stabbed my brother who was a lot like dad 5 times. They say a sociopath can't be beat.... Bullshit.
ReplyDeleteHappy Easter
ReplyDeleteWily Smiley
Charming Gaming
Scheming Preening
Chiding Hiding
Hollow Jollo
fills the air
Truth or dare
without a care
@ 12.26pm"
DeleteNice.
XK
Thanks, XK.
DeleteI don't have any friends, nor would I want any. People bore me to death especially women. I have no respect for women and to me, they are second class citizens. If I could I would enslave every woman on this planet and give every man a good looking pet woman for his 18th birthday.
ReplyDeleteIn my view friends are for the weak. A man always looks stronger when he walks alone. People use friends as a comfort, but in the end you will be completely alone so it's good to learn to be independent. Nowadays I take long walks in parks and unfamiliar side streets, aimlessly.
You wouldn't be alive if it weren't for the gender, you refer to as "Second Class Citizens".
Delete"If I could I would enslave every woman on this planet and give every man a good looking pet woman for his 18th birthday."
DeleteWhat's wrong, Adam??? Did you aunt not give you your "allowance"???
Or worse??? Did she kick you out???
"your aunt"
DeleteSorry for you
DeleteYou left the safety-in-numbers environment of a casino where he would not have been able to rob you without making a scene and alerting security in favor of getting into a car with him where he could have easily robbed you or worse. Fortunately for you, he was just an asshole not a danger.
ReplyDeleteI think you need to study risk management because isolating yourself with someone you suspect of being a sociopath is really, really ill-advised.
Glad you're ok.
It's all always a guessing game. The classic school bully wants your lunch money.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom acts a lot like this poster. She's constantly "tempting fate" and getting herself into situations she could just have easily walked away from. I thinks she gets a real thrill out of pushing people that are obviously highly volitile. It drives me crazy.
ReplyDeleteOne example, she lives in a condo. They were being painted by some low rent outfit. She went through each one, baiting them with critiquing their work, complaining about paint drops, etc. Most of them just ignored her. But one got really annoyed, real quick. So what did she do? She antagonized him to the point where he had her backed up against her door and was screaming in her face about his bad child hood.
She callrf me that evening to tell me about it and she has absolutely no emotion in her voice. I'm going through the ROOF thinking my elderly mother could have gotten her face punched in. I was like, are you scared? Do you want me to come over? She's like, nah, im fine. And if he comes back, i'll just tell him to get lost.
I THINK SHE'S OUT OF HER MIND. But she gets into these situations everywhere she goes. The grocery story. The post office. Voting. She always seems to be able to pick out the unstables and then finds SOME way to get under their skin and put herself in a potentially harmful situation.
She picks up hitchhikers and drives them around. "Well, it was cold out, and these two guys were standing on a bus stop." (The fact that they are standing outside the local VA hospital, which is also across the street from the biggest concentration of bars in the city....) "Would you believe these guys were drunk, homeless vets?"
So I wonder if this poster has kind of the same thing going on. They claim to constantly run into sociopaths. But at the same token, are they looking for them?
If the guy had given me a bad vibe from word go, I would not have even sat down at that machine. My Mom would have sat next to him even if EVERY other machine in the place was open.
I have only heard and seen sociopath in TV or movie. I can't imagine who it will be an encounter with real life sociopath. Thanks for sharing this.
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