A reader recently asked me how he could get back together with his sociopathic girlfriend that got bored with him and took off.
This is how I replied:
Today I went to the beach and was struck once again with the fact that even very very talented surfers don't always catch a wave. A lot more has to do with the wave than the surfer. This is true in seduction exploits too. A bigger determinant of your success is the vulnerabilities and susceptibilities of your target. Right now, it sounds like you're vulnerable and susceptible and she is not. You have no hopes of winning until/if that changes.
I think a lot of people mistake seduction and manipulation as an ex nihilo type of affair. Only god can do that, arguably, and Mormon God can't even (at least it's not part of the theology). Everything comes from somewhere. Even con men intentionally look for particular types of "marks", they don't expect to just make a "mark" out of absolutely anyone they come across. Similarly, people who have good seduction rates are mostly largely (if not primarily) talented at spotting good targets. In other words, the odds of getting someone to fall madly in love with you are great. The odds of getting a specific person chosen at random to fall madly in love with you are quite low, even for sociopaths.
This is how I replied:
Today I went to the beach and was struck once again with the fact that even very very talented surfers don't always catch a wave. A lot more has to do with the wave than the surfer. This is true in seduction exploits too. A bigger determinant of your success is the vulnerabilities and susceptibilities of your target. Right now, it sounds like you're vulnerable and susceptible and she is not. You have no hopes of winning until/if that changes.
I think a lot of people mistake seduction and manipulation as an ex nihilo type of affair. Only god can do that, arguably, and Mormon God can't even (at least it's not part of the theology). Everything comes from somewhere. Even con men intentionally look for particular types of "marks", they don't expect to just make a "mark" out of absolutely anyone they come across. Similarly, people who have good seduction rates are mostly largely (if not primarily) talented at spotting good targets. In other words, the odds of getting someone to fall madly in love with you are great. The odds of getting a specific person chosen at random to fall madly in love with you are quite low, even for sociopaths.
My marriage has been restored. I'm excited to share this with you all, you can fix your relationship and Marriage form Divorce or Break up! I am so happy to have my Ex husband in my life again.! A very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my husband . so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited. TEMPLEOFLOVEANDPROSPERITY@GMAIL.COM. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Dr Frank Ojo, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com .
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly as it is, socios and narcs target weak people. That is the whole game. Spot weak people, weaknesses. Anyone can exploit weakness, but socios think they are the shit when they do it. It is an ego trip, just to feel you are in control when you know you are not at all in control of you life. That it is actually a void spiraling out of control.
ReplyDeleteSeduction is an art. Being able to simply touch someone and make their hair stand up. To whisper in someones ear so delicately, causing him to die of tension. The extra second look. The hesitation in the voice as if distracted by the other persons beauty. Playing with words. Speaking with the eyes. It truly is an art. It's a whole different way of communicating. I know that firsthand. The first thing I do when I meet someone, whatever the apearance, age, gender, relationship, what comes to mind is "Can it be seduced?". Seduction is language some of us talk fluently. I'ts not only a tool, but an addiction.
ReplyDelete-VN
Compelling explanation. I enjoyed reading this.
DeleteVN-
DeleteI like reading your posts, and hope you keep posting.:)
~Vegas
This quote from the movie "Kingdom of Heaven", came to mind. In the movie, Eva Green (who is married) is seducing Orlando Bloom (who is widowed):
ReplyDelete"I am here because, in the East, between one person and another there is only light."
~Vegas
You folks keep thinking that your tricks - "art of seduction" - is working just because the other person seems to respond. One can always notice that something is "off." People just don't WANT to think you're capable of doing what appears to be the case. Besides, it is a pleasant feeling to be liked & loved. Gradually, however, they notice more and more discrepancies and your game is up. You're selling your integrity and trustworthiness for momentary pleasure (sex and / or "power").
ReplyDeleteWith the regards to the questioner: it is not possible to give any advice without knowing about the girlfriend. If she is a decent human being, I can almost guarantee that just showing up and being an honest person. If you've manipulated her than tell her and say sorry - she'll probably really fall in love right there (sincerity like this is extremely rare). If she's a sociopath like you, than I can personally care less about either one - go read Art of Seduction and you might find some BS that might help you temporarily.
My apologies I did not read the original post carefully and didn't realize the girlfriend is sociopathic...
DeleteYou seem to be ignoring the fact that we choose our targets. And yes everyone wants to be seduced and that benefits us. Seduction takes place in the body and in the mind, so if we're good they don't realize something's off until it's over. You're ignoring a lot of points actually. Do you really think we care about being trustworthy? And don't you know we love power? It's a game in which we can never loose, as long as we pick the right target.
Delete-VN
As long as you find some sorry ass weak person. Its so lame, you feed your ego whit illusions. And settle for idiots, as you can actually handle a smart person. They would see right trough your childish games.
DeleteThis is what makes its so hilarious, the grandiose ego fed by weak idiots.
Its like stealing from retarded child, and then go all ego tripping how you are the master criminal genius. When in actually, you just chose the weakest possible easiest target. Everyone with over iq of 70 could do that, but they wont.. as they got self respect.
Define weak idiots please... :). You seem to have misunderstood what "right target" means. You refer to it as "weak idiot", but I never said that. I've actually seduced extremely smart and interesting people in the past. Obviously I've done it to stupid people too. But not because they were stupid. Not because the others were smart. It has nothing to do with that. Have you never met someone very smart with low self esteem? It doesn't matter what type of brain they have if they can't support it, and doubt it if questioned. It has to do with self esteem. And of course now you say, but that's stupid too, that's easy. Well yeah it's easy practically if you have the skill(obviously it's a skill), just like it's easy practically to kill someone(I'm not indicating that I do that). All it needs is and arm and some strenghth, the thing is, do you have the mind to do it? This is what makes us different from you. And you dismissed that. Do you have the mind to seduce anyone? Just to get what you want? To manipulate anyone just to get what you want? With no feelings invovled. Do you not understand we speak two different languages. All I saw in your brief nasty response, is you using sociopathic characteristics as insults. And anyway, what's the problem cause I missed you somewhere. Are you upset by our behaviour(like everyone anyway)? or Are you mocking us because you think our targets are weak idiots, and we are lame? And you'd rather them being smart?... :/
DeleteI'm relatively intelligent. **-* seduced me when I was in a weak position and not paying attention. I was using him as a distraction and paid a hefty price when he snuck in under my radar. But neither did he get all he wanted and now runs away from me.
DeleteThat's how it goes; always many views on the unfolded events, and even the views change as we learn and grow and have further experiences.
I don't think anything can be captured so easily in a few sentences. That's abstraction, hypnotism. Narrative, however, powerfully fuels our capacity for action, which is why we mostly choose narratives that support our own self esteem. If we want to learn, we choose to incorporate more challenging aspects of the picture.
"Its like stealing from retarded child, and then go all ego tripping how you are the master criminal genius. When in actually, you just chose the weakest possible easiest target. Everyone with over iq of 70 could do that, but they wont.. as they got self respect."
DeleteThis was hilarious because it's true.
"Have you never met someone very smart with low self esteem? It doesn't matter what type of brain they have if they can't support it, and doubt it if questioned."
You know in the real world, some times life gets so tough that your self-esteem does go down the drain. You have bigger concerns at that moment and anyone who comes across as loving & caring is bound to get your attention. If you're proud of manipulating such a person and inflate your ego by doing so...you're nothing short of disgusting. Of course you know that in your heart...that's why you bury it slowly because it makes you feel guilty. Kill the heart so you can continue being a low life who targets "weak" people and doesn't feel any human reaction as a result.
More people need to be on http://sociopath-community.com/
ReplyDelete!!! it used to be connected to this blog but was disconnected over a year ago. We need fresh blood and lots of interesting things have happened recently (relates to kiwifar.ms drama: https://archive.is/M2tXa) that will go down in the forum's history! Be sure to check out http://www.psychforums.com/antisocial-personality/ too, as some of its regulars are regulars on SC too!
CMON M.E. RECONNECT THE BLOG TO SC ALREADY!!
We're pretty good at picking "marks"; Particularly future possible lovers, I certainly look into the details that compose a person that I can discern that speaks of their motivations and weaknesses. If I know those I can exploit them better for the romance I'm looking for, or at least establishing a relationship that's appealing to my desires. If for any reason I can't get what I want, and that's certainly possible, I typically try my best to get something desirable out of it no matter what (even if that's negligible it counts, the benefits all matter to me regardless). It's like playing a fun game of chess, but the victory doesn't matter so much as the process of dominating the board.
ReplyDeleteESTP Sociopath
Mike Posner's "Cooler Than Me"
ReplyDeleteI coached my boss who oversees my volunteering at the youth shelter about how to combat a narcissist. The best thing you can do? Walk away.
ESTP Sociopath
That was new music for me, which is always appreciated-thank you.:)
ReplyDelete~Vegas
Peugeot know about seduction.
ReplyDeleteMy second car was a Peugeot 205 GTi. Classic vehicle. Peugeot have never quite succeeded in recreating the legend... until now.
The Legend Returns [1m56s]
My car was exactly like the little red one shown at the start of the clip. It was ten years old when I bought it, I'm not that old ;)
I took the 208GTi for a test drive today and from the second I got in it was like being in my old 205GTi - the most thrilling and perfect little car ever. So many sparkling memories. I swear, they have done it deliberately; I was intoxicated. The red trim. Those seats that grip your body, the ergonomics, the pedal positioning, the immaculate feel of the gear throw and the same take-up of the clutch. The raw but soft growl of the of the engine, that mad torque that will pull from anywhere, that chuckability: real driving competence.
I used to feel the 205 GTi was part of my body; I got the sense that would so easily develop with this car too.
The 17 years vanished as my body remembered all the old patterns and pleasures. I was in love again :D
PS Lola - drive one if you can find one - woohooooooo
North: Ha, I was reading this and I was immediately like oh, I need this car.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a car but I 'd just booked a test drive for next week – and then canceled it. I don't need a car (I live in the city centre) and I'm trying to cut down expenses in my life (I'm very good at spending) so that I can work less and do stuff that I want without having to worry about earning. I also don't like having to look after a car. But I love driving. Maybe I'll just go and do a test drive. ;)
I know what you mean by cutting down unnecessary expenses so you can live the life you want.
DeleteI won't buy this car but it's soooo tempting because driving for me is an ultimate pleasure. My current car is fun enough though for the time being.
I recommend testing it anyway ;)
The cross county metropolitan bus transportation system where I live is very efficient and cost effective; busses travel all over, and any walking required is often only 10-15 minutes at most, or even less with the right trip planning. Any distance not covered by the busses I make up with power walking. It's good excercise.
DeleteESTP Sociopath
"It's like playing a fun game of chess, but the victory doesn't matter so much as the process of dominating the board."
DeleteSo often psychopaths prove they're handicapped but sometimes they really throw it out there for all to see and have no clue. This example cited by my former buddy here is a great example of the shortsightedness and retardation that inflicts people who sell their hearts. The only goal when one plays chess is to win. Everything done during the battle is intended to make you win in the end...not necessarily "dominate the board." This is something you can expect from a sore loser. Instead of shaking your hand after the game, he'll say "it wasn't about winning, it was about dominating the board and I did that."
Keep enjoying your delusions. Happy people don't need nor want to find "targets" and play games and manipulate and deceive.
Yeah, driving IS the ultimate pleasure. ;)
ReplyDeleteI've been doing a lot of reading about this brain dysfunction recently since I've been in the cross hairs of a sociopath with average intelligence. Much Wow! Such masturbation! I'm not likely smarter than all sociopaths... but maybe I have a touch of it because reading how much you guys like to jerk off all over yourself is rather comical.
ReplyDeleteopaaa-
DeleteI am also non-socio, and think I am dealing with a sociopath.
Your post made me laugh out loud!!!
Thank you.:)
~Vegas
NM-
ReplyDeleteI was looking at a map today. I was looking at the itinerary of a riverboat cruise I went on, that began in Trier and ended in Nuremberg. I didn't realize, how close that was to Austria...
BEAUTIFUL AREA OF THE WORLD!!!
~Vegas
PS NM-
DeleteI spent a few days in Paris, before heading over to Trier to catch the riverboat.:)
I traveled through Luxembourg which was SUPER COOL because I didn't even know it existed, and by the time I knew about it, I had traveled through it!!!
AWESOME!!!
~Vegas
I have heard of, but am not really familiar with, Peugeot.
ReplyDeleteI Googled it and apparently, they had low sales and pulled out of the US Market in 2007. However, it looks like they may be attempting re-entry...
~Vegas
Great tweet, M.E.!!!
ReplyDelete"Some cannot afford to become self-aware, for that would mean admitting that they really cannot control the situation."
NM and I were discussing "control" awhile back. It always reminds me of this quote from the movie "Days of Thunder", when Nicole Kidman says:
"Control is an illusion, you infantile egomaniac. Nobody knows what's gonna happen next: not on a freeway, not in an airplane, not inside our own bodies and certainly not on a racetrack with 40 other infantile egomaniacs."
I LOVE THAT QUOTE-SO TRUE!!!
~Vegas
That reminds me of Guns N' Roses "Use Your Illusion" albums.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite song on "Use Your Illusion I" is "November Rain", and on "Use Your Illusion II"-"Civil War".:)
~Vegas
Psychopathy is a mental disease. Psychopaths are suffering from a type of autistic condition. Still lots of folks that wanna join that club? Hello? Young folks, you wanna be "cursed"? Walking empty vacuum, is that your kind of ice-cream? Well if not: wish for other things. Dream other kind of dreams.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure about this style of persuasion.
DeleteI´ve seen tv-programs from the US where young criminals get "educated" in prisons, with hard ex-convicts as mentors, to get them to "see reality". To look at facts. Most of them seem to dislike reality A LOT, folks crying and shaking..
DeleteWe all design our own realities... but without seeing the program, I'm not sure what you mean. Can you elaborate a bit?
DeleteI think the tv-program was called Scared Straight or something similar? "Tough" wannabee young petty criminals seeing what it means to be the things they imagined themselves to be. meeting such real creatures face to face, without any window made from shatterproof glass inbetween..and finding their "G-fantasy" to be just imagination.
Delete"Psychopathy is a mental disease. Psychopaths are suffering from a type of autistic condition."
DeleteThe first sentence is correct but why did you have to insult poor, innocent autistic folks? Autistic people have empathy they just have trouble expressing it. They don't use & manipulate people.
So giving them the opportunity to learn from the experience of others. That is valuable, and more effective than a parent's influencing efforts, I imagine.
DeleteI agree that expanding or adding depth to vision of possibility ('dreaming' as you say) helps achieve better outcomes. How does this work with the particular cohort in question with their different mental apparatuses? How does it work for the neurotypicals? What are good outcomes? These are common threads of investigation here, I think.
My focus is more in learning and growing in myself, but I'm interested in your ideas.
Still not convinced about the "inner death" of the psychopath? Imagine a white room, just white. Too white. Furniture, floors, tv, the lot. Then go outside: the world is just white. It has no sound, there are no people. White. This is a description I got from a psychopathic person, he told me that this is the "feeling" of psychopathy; if he could "paint" the condition it would be painted like that. He said that in this white (dead) landscape there was no point in looking for other humans, there was little point in doing any things except the basic stuff: finding food, sexual urges & money. Very crude, basic stuff. But these things mattered. Sounds like a superhero-movie? Or perhaps more like a "mechanic nightmare"?
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting. I've read psychopaths are focused on basic survival needs. I like to read these qualitative descriptions.
DeleteI wonder if Buddhist practices try to take people to such a place. I like to remove all the clutter but want the colours because the colours carry information.
Food is vital to many socios, people VERY concerned with finding the "right type of food" (every day) that will SATISFY THEM can be a sign of dealing with a psycho. (predatory behaviour)
Delete*has flashbacks*
DeleteTwo anecdotes:
**-*, master seducer, researched and chose foods to make his jizz taste good. Yes.
Knife-wielder was very interested in food, probs also ate too much of it. Dude was big. But he was also highly pernickety about what types of food to eat and when, methods of eating, motivations for eating.
So I find this observation possibly apt. What other experiences have people had?
I think we are "on to something"!!!
DeleteMy husband orders food at restaurants, like Meg Ryan does, in the movie "When Harry Met Sally"...
HA!!! LOL!!!
~Vegas
They were so into food. It was almost gluttonous. And they were total food snobs. So obnoxious to me.
ReplyDeleteAnon @ 7:26-
DeleteI think I have the same look on my face as Billy Crystal, when Meg Ryan places her order.:)
HA!!! LOL!!!
I TOTALLY KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN ABOUT THE "GLUTTONY"!!!
My husband eats like he's a "starving animal"!!! He doesn't chew his food completely-it's more like he "inhales" it, and he chokes frequently. I'm surprised he's still alive!!!
~Vegas
In the name of God, The Merciful, The Compassionate.
ReplyDelete"One Day He will gather them all together, and say to the angels, "Was it you that these men used to worship?"
They will say: Be Thou Glorified. Thou (alone) art our Guardian, not them! Nay, but they worshiped the jinn; most of them were believers in them.
So on that Day no power shall they have over each other, for profit or harm: and We shall say to the wrong-doers, "Taste ye the Penalty of the Fire,- the which ye were wont to deny!"
Quran 34: 40-42
Jonaid-
DeleteI thought you were reading The Bible...
~Vegas
I didn't say I was reading only the Bible. The Quran is of course correct when it says the previous scriptures have been meddled with and corrupted. I'm half way thru Exodus and I know that for a fact already.
DeleteIn the name of God, The Merciful, The Compassionate.
"Do you then hope that they would believe in you, and a party from among them indeed used to hear the Word of God, then altered it after they had understood it, and they know (this). And when they meet those who believe they say: We believe, and when they are alone one with another they say: Do you talk to them of what God has disclosed to you that they may contend with you by this before your Lord? Do you not then understand? Do they not know that God knows what they keep secret and what they make known?"
Quran 2: 75-77
Jonaid-
DeleteYou posts are sounding better already.:)
~Vegas
I wish I could up vote these.
DeleteThat would be handy. I wonder if there's a plugin available.
Delete*handy in general.
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ReplyDeleteTestimony By Wendy Owen, Getting my Ex back !
ReplyDeleteI was hurt and heart broken when a very big problem occurred in my marriage seven months ago, between me and my husband . so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce. he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the Email address of the spell caster whom he visited. Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day. What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me, and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past 7 months, gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back. So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster. So, i will advice you out there if you have any problem contact Dr Frank Ojo, i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you.. Email him at: Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com ,or visit his Web site to know more about him: http://africatemple.yolasite.com ,and i lives in United Kingdom. Thank you sooooo much!!!
Can anyone help me with any good references to knowing how to seduce women? Books, links, etc
ReplyDelete