This video gets cut off at the end, but interesting thoughts about psychopathic parenting and co-parenting. Please feel free to share any suggestions you have for John Doe in the comments.
This was great interview. The difference between an empath and a sociopath. John's innate connection to his emotional states his willingness to accept them. There is not the distance between his thoughts and feelings. Where as I see the world as ME does with a degree of separation between thought and emotion. The playground phase and the reckoning resonates too. The difficulty in parenting with a sociopath are highlighted well here. John's insight to how it is for sociopaths is fascinating and generous. Clearly parenting by definition means putting another person first is an anathema to sociopaths. But as ME says the capability to change is there and hitting the Reckoning can help. I did find the discussion on the stigma on psychopaths informative John saw it clearly as a prejudice against individuals when taken as a group. Sociopaths and empaths can work together. But they are very different. The already challenging job of parenting could prove to much for such a pairing.
This is a very interesting topic. Not a long time ago I was wondering if I would be able to put the child and its needs above mine? How would I suppose to help this child navigate the world and emotions if I didn't work it out myself yet? Would I be able to change the way I live? Would my child become sociopath? I am aware of many sociopaths who are parents. For me, it's been interesting to hear from your perspective. I have to say that stigma on psychopaths is still a huge problem. People are still not enough educated in this subject, all the thing about when they hear the word "sociopath" is killer. Society need to see that we are not "monsters", we are just people who view the world a little differently, and we live among them. I think it's funny that they have no idea how many sociopaths they pass on the streets every day.
I could never raise a child. It’s the screaming meltdowns of the young ones, they test the walls I’ve built up around my own rage and memories. The longer I hear it, the more my childhood anger wells up and the more urgent it becomes that they shut up. Don’t misunderstand, I’m very protective of children in general and have no desire at all to hurt one, But in that very particular circumstance I’m concerned my rage would cause an impulsive act I would regret. So I’ve been extremely diligent never to put myself in a situation where that could happen. There’s always someone else with the child as well so that I can walk away until the tantrum has quieted. Once they reach about ten years old I’m no longer affected, I can listen to an older child or adult melt down all day long and just be bored and disappointed. So while I think it’s great that some sociopaths can raise young, I believe where you are on the spectrum and what broke you is a significant factor in whether you’ll be successful.
Love my son but often have to be encouraged or outright badgered to spend time with him. One reason is that I don't want him to see what I'm really like.
Also, his mother is very dishonest and controlling and not that good at either of those things. We get along well enough as it is, but being around her 24/7 or giving her any control over my life would lead to a constant war that my son does not need to be caught up in the middle of.
Maybe all of this will make him his best self. Maybe it will scar him for life. Right now it's too early to say. More than anything I want him to find something worth dedicating his life to and speed towards it with reckless abandon. Maybe he'll cure cancer, be one of the few successful social justice warriors, or pull off the heist of the century. All of that is fine with me.
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This was great interview. The difference between an empath and a sociopath. John's innate connection to his emotional states his willingness to accept them. There is not the distance between his thoughts and feelings. Where as I see the world as ME does with a degree of separation between thought and emotion.
ReplyDeleteThe playground phase and the reckoning resonates too. The difficulty in parenting with a sociopath are highlighted well here. John's insight to how it is for sociopaths is fascinating and generous. Clearly parenting by definition means putting another person first is an anathema to sociopaths. But as ME says the capability to change is there and hitting the Reckoning can help.
I did find the discussion on the stigma on psychopaths informative John saw it clearly as a prejudice against individuals when taken as a group. Sociopaths and empaths can work together. But they are very different. The already challenging job of parenting could prove to much for such a pairing.
This is a very interesting topic. Not a long time ago I was wondering if I would be able to put the child and its needs above mine?
ReplyDeleteHow would I suppose to help this child navigate the world and emotions if I didn't work it out myself yet? Would I be able to change the way I live? Would my child become sociopath?
I am aware of many sociopaths who are parents. For me, it's been interesting to hear from your perspective.
I have to say that stigma on psychopaths is still a huge problem.
People are still not enough educated in this subject, all the thing about when they hear the word "sociopath" is killer.
Society need to see that we are not "monsters", we are just people who view the world a little differently, and we live among them.
I think it's funny that they have no idea how many sociopaths they pass on the streets every day.
I could never raise a child. It’s the screaming meltdowns of the young ones, they test the walls I’ve built up around my own rage and memories. The longer I hear it, the more my childhood anger wells up and the more urgent it becomes that they shut up. Don’t misunderstand, I’m very protective of children in general and have no desire at all to hurt one, But in that very particular circumstance I’m concerned my rage would cause an impulsive act I would regret. So I’ve been extremely diligent never to put myself in a situation where that could happen. There’s always someone else with the child as well so that I can walk away until the tantrum has quieted. Once they reach about ten years old I’m no longer affected, I can listen to an older child or adult melt down all day long and just be bored and disappointed. So while I think it’s great that some sociopaths can raise young, I believe where you are on the spectrum and what broke you is a significant factor in whether you’ll be successful.
ReplyDeleteI am also a sociopathic co-parent.
ReplyDeleteLove my son but often have to be encouraged or outright badgered to spend time with him. One reason is that I don't want him to see what I'm really like.
Also, his mother is very dishonest and controlling and not that good at either of those things. We get along well enough as it is, but being around her 24/7 or giving her any control over my life would lead to a constant war that my son does not need to be caught up in the middle of.
Maybe all of this will make him his best self. Maybe it will scar him for life. Right now it's too early to say. More than anything I want him to find something worth dedicating his life to and speed towards it with reckless abandon. Maybe he'll cure cancer, be one of the few successful social justice warriors, or pull off the heist of the century. All of that is fine with me.